Abby hears from a divorced woman in a relationship with a man who's bad with money, but wonders about moving forward, while groom's mom still beats herself up over incident from wedding 11 years ago.
Columnist Tammy Swift says savers and spenders can live together, as long as the spender hides all her purchases in the trunk of the car and waits until the saver has gone to work to bring them inside.
It s the classic opposites attract pattern. Someone who is anxious and likes to have control, for example, will often partner with someone who has a happy-go-lucky it s going to be all right attitude, she said. Those mentalities can bleed into every area of their financial lives, affecting communication and decision-making.
But in Clayman s experience coaching couples with these very issues, there s an obvious sign they re going to be able to overcome them: They re paying attention.
Couples who have a mutual awareness of their money are the most successful
Clayman said one of the biggest money obstacles people face is a habit of avoidance not checking your account balance, not bringing up financial concerns with a partner, not knowing exactly how much you spend each month, and the like. Avoidance is one of the primary coping mechanisms for managing anxiety, she said, and it s very difficult to overcome.