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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Their coronavirus cases to basically zero, south korea has decided that its time to play ball responsibly. Reporter baseball season is under way in south korea, but no fans are there to see it. Reporter posters posing as fans filled the seats for yesterdays opening game of the kbo league. They may not see anything more bizarre though than this thats a 9yearold inside a big baseball bubble. He walked himself from the Pitchers Mound to home plate to create a socially distant first pitch. Trevor yes, south korea has found a way to bring back sports in the age of coronavirus, and this looks really safe dont get me wrong, i mean, people are still going to die of boredom it is baseball, after all but, thankfully, theyre safe from corona. I have one question why are the fake people Wearing Masks . It just seems unnecessary. America has already shown that if youre a person made out of cardboard, you dont need to wear a mask. Also, i hope they told the announcer that those fans are made out of

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

Joking. How anyone can tell when mike pence is joking, i dont know, but he was joking because i only watched part of the video. Turns out there were 29 minutes of this on cspan that indicate he was joking about carrying the empty boxes for the camera. Which i didnt know. I dont have the endurance to watch mike pence carry boxes for 29 minutes on cspan. Bottom line is, i was wrong, he was joking. When i found out i was wrong, i acknowledged it by taking the video down and tweeting an apology of sorts to the best of my ability. Apologizing to the Trump Administration for spreading untruth is like apologizing to barry bonds for using steroids. Its hard, but the outrage from the maga hats. The outpouring of venom was disgusting. Stupid, too. But mostly disgusting. Some of these lunatics have the audacity to use the word christian in their bios. But that didnt stop them from wishing death on me, my family, my son. Some said they hope my son dies, they threatened my wife. There were hundreds

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

Fdadisapproved drugs. And telling everyone else to try it, too. Why the president would take drugs that his own health agencies, the nih and the fda do not recommend as a preventative treatment for the coronavirus, is a mystery to all of us. But when donald trump digs in, he is dug, no matter what the consequence can you explain, sir, what is the evidence that it has a preventive effect. Here we go, you ready . Heres my evidence. I get a lot of positive calls about it. Jimmy he gets a lot of positive calls. He hears a lot of good stories and gets a lot of positive calls. About it. Our president is a hydroxy moron. I know its hard to process, but are we surprised that the guy who thought windmills cause cancer thinks a lupus drug kills coronavirus . I looked up the side effects of this miracle drug trump is taking, they include severe mood or mental changes check. Feeling that others can hear your thoughts. Check. Feeling, seeing or hearing things that are not there. Check. Large, hivel

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Studies that show the medication has no proven benefits for coronavirus patients and maybe he is taking it, but this sounds like when the cops pull you over and you admit to having a couple of beers so they dont find all the weed and cocaine in your glove compartment. Yeah, just a little hydroxy after work with the guys i live close to here. Thats right, President Trump said yesterday that hes been taking hydroxychloroquine to protect himself from the coronavirus, and told a reporter hes, quote, not going to get hurt by it, its been around for 40 years. Come on, man, you know better than anyone that just because somethings been around for 40 years doesnt mean its good. President trump tweeted yesterday that fox news has more antitrump people than ever. And claimed hes, quote, looking for a new outlet. A new outlet where . No outlet praises you more thats like meryl streep complaining about how the oscars treat her. New york mayor bill de blasio said yesterday that he expects the city t

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240713

Trevor sunshine its something we all could use right now, second only to moonshine. And while i cant legally give you my homemade backyard hooch, i can give you some good news of the day. Lets kick things off with chuck e. Cheese ground zero for the next pandemic. While most restaurants in the age of coronavirus have switched over to delivery, chuck e. Cheese was faced with the ultimate dilemma how do you get people to order your crappy food when the only reason they ever came to your establishment was to entertain their kids and buy weed from the assistant manager . Well, it turns out, all it takes is a little oldfashioned american reporter chuck e. Cheese is accused of tricking some grubhub users. Several customers say they placed orders at pasquallys pizza wings. They thought they were supporting a local business. Every address for pasquallys routes back to a chuck e. Cheese. Well, turns out pasqually is the name of one of those animatronic band members you see in chuck e. Cheese, t

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