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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

The actual news did. Right, like the financial collapse. Or the u. S. Military strategy in the middle east. Yeah. Remember when that was a problem . laughter i do. Well, the votes are in, and were officially ready to project a winner. Your favorite segment was jon explains Climate Change to United States congressmen. Jon now you may be thinking do we really need a march to raise awareness about global Climate Change . I mean, its an accepted scientific phenomena pretty much everywhere. Heres why you need to march. Its accepted pretty much everywhere but this one place called. The United States house of Representatives Committee on science, space, and technology. This is true. Last week they held a hearing that they apparently recorded in 1971 laughter i guess thats the Technology Part of the Committee Name on president obamas plan to shrink Carbon Emissions 30 by 2030. The hearings sisyphus president ial science advisor john holdren, charged with the Impossible Task of pushing a Millio

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

After which he had to convince a bodyguard hed gladly pay for the stripper on tuesday. The couple is eager to consummate their long relationship. But considering the size of popeyes forearms olive has only one rule for the wedding night. No fisting. Popeye was introduced to olive oyl by her older brother, castor oyl, although the two did not become close until the untimely death of her younger brother, lorenzos oyl. Those were headlines president clintons impeachment is expected to be the most watched trial in american history. For perspective, the daily shows chief Political Correspondent Stephen Colbert is standing by. Stephen. Jon. How are you . And you know what . In this new spirit of bipartisan compromise in the senate is there still a lot of partisan bickering over witnesses and trial procedure . No, jon. Now its over merchandising and product placement. Evidently, they plan to market all manner of product tshirts, snow globes. You know those Little Things you use to hold corn .

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

Kentucky Alison Lundergan grimes is running. Why do you not want to give an answer whether youre voting for president obama. Theres no ruluctancy. This is a matter of principle. Our constitution grants here in kentucky the Constitutional Rights for privacy at the ballot box. Jon my country tis of thee. No, you cannot see. [laughter] i would be voting as a right to privacy issue. Thats why they give you those stickers. [laughter] grimes principles stand is only undermined by her announcing lastvoted for health rea clinto. But thats different, health rea clinton is popular. Look democrats arent the only ones running from their party. Republicans are retreating on the culture wars. The fact is i support over the counter contraception. You supported a constitutional amendment on marriage. Do you still support that. When i was chairman of that committee it was the platform called for a federal marriage amendment and as chairman of the rnc, i stood for the platform. Im talking now about my p

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

Coverage of the results, starting with Jordan Klepper covering the president ial race. Thats right. Specifically, which president did you most enjoy seeing jon bleep on. For nearly 17 years, jon stewart and the daily show have taken on all president s without fear or favor, providing satirical commentary on every occupant of the oval office. Its bush, right . 100 bush. Has to be bush. Totally bush. Heres a clip of the winning segment. Jon now, as you know, the administrations conduct concerning prosecuting the war on terror has been questioned by some. laughter but as the president himself explains, theres a perfectly good reason why we dont understand what hes doing. This is a different kind of war. A kind of war weve never faced before. Its a totally different kind of war. Its. Its. Than. Than ones were used to. I told you its a different kind of war with a different kind of enemy. Jon they. They wear shoes on their hands. laughter and applause im telling you, these people are crazy.

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Transcripts For KTVU KTVU Mornings On 2 At 6am 20170710

Making a little bit of a surge with temperatures coming down a little bit and santa rosa at 84, gilroy 85, concord down from 99 to 90. The monsoon staying in Southern California and the southern cherry but not making it up here yet. Low clouds and fog moving in with this system bumping up that ridge for the couple of days but very strong. 50s for most with a few low 60s. Most locations in the 50s, pacifica 51, woodside 52, stanford 53 and 54 in atherton. You can see the circulation around this high at the four corners in this thing coming in week. Wind gusting at 29, the strongest weve seen for travis helping that delta breeze kick in and the monsoons staying to the south for now. The fog coming in rapidly meaning cooler weather for many, 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s. The traffic on this monday . Moderate but not terrible. We start off with the good looking i24 commute through lafayette. It does not look bad right now driving on i24 toward lafayette and through into oakland, a decent drive. 6

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