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"There ain't no sanity clause!" Chico Marx
True, but there is a Santa Clause No. 2, which requires that Santa get married, or else. This information is revealed at the North Pole at the worst possible time, during the pre-Christmas manufacturing rush, when Air Force listening planes hear what sounds like "tiny hammers" from beneath the snow. The current occupant of the Santa suit is happy supervising his elves and perfecting his chimney-craft, when he's informed of a loophole in his contract: If he doesn't produce a Mrs. Claus in 28 days, he'll stop being Santa and (I'm not real sure about this) the office may even entirely disappear, casting the world's children into gloom.
Already, Santa is thinner, the red suit looks baggy and the white beard seems to be shedding. The outlook is grim. We recognize Santa from "The Santa Clause," the 1994 movie that explained how he got the job in the first place. As you may (or very likely may n