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Peace. If you get the small half, stab the the guy with the big half. If you can still hear your heart beating youre not eeght enough. Raise your standards, for gods sake. And finally, if youre alone on thanksgiving, dress up your turkey and seat it at the table. Then instead of feeling bad about being alone, you can feel bad about eating your only friend. And so many other life boosters. So order awaken the turkey within today. Grab that drum stick of possibility and dunk it in the gravy of achievement. Pluts it makes for great stuffing. Mmm thats going to be moist tomorrow. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, trump ends charity. , plus stephen welcomes John Leguizamo, and musical guest elton john. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey, welcome, welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Tomorrow is thanksgiving and im so excite

New yorkUnited statesDistrict of columbiaPuerto ricoPuerto ricanGenghis khanRicky ricardoJerry lewisJon batisteRobert muellerArthur millerStephen colbertSteve kingMary tylerJesus christJohn leguizamo