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Transcripts For KPHO The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20161021

Something about a guest who isnt going to say what it says. Say it stephen it says youre uncool. This is a vintage sweater. I challenge you to settle this like gentlemen . . shouting two months later stephen elijah, great to have you on the show. Ive been here a couple times, stephen. Stephen are you sure . Remember i was on that one time, and then i came on again and we argued about you not remembering the first time . Stephen no, sorry. And then we jousted . Stephen uhhhh. No. Stephen thats always been there. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight stephen welcomes tiger woods, elijah wood and jorge ramos, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And, now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause . Stephen hey thank you, everybody cheers and applause . Stephen jon batiste, welcome to the late show thank you so much good to see you piano riff hi, everybody thank you so much awfully nice. Awfully nice. cheers and

Transcripts For WUSA The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20161124

Onions in our anal cavities and eat us. You soulless monsters. All right, cbs, im getting to it. Happy thanksgiving, gobble, gobble, see you in hell. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes danny devito, max greenfield, and musical guest okay go. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey hey, nice to see you. Stephen whats going on, chris . Whats going on, mark . Rk hey, everybody. Welcome to the late show everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Happy thanksgiving eve i have a lot to be thankful for. I have my friends i work with. We live in the greatest country in the world, thats for sure. And you know who has a lot to be thankful for . Donald trump. Not only is he going to be the president , but he has the most amazing family. Yesterday he told staffers at the New York Times that his soninlaw Jared Kushner could help broker peace in the middle east. And after that, maybe

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