and will he get me a sandwich? (laughter) but it is a good point, how a nation and its leaders react to threats both external and internal says a great deal about that administration s values and ideals. and while it s hard to judge an administration by the actions it says it wants to take but can t, perhaps we can learn something about the administration from the actions it says it won t take but does as we see in our new segment priorities u.s.a. (laughter) in the administration s search for law and order (laughter). i m not talking about the show, i m just talking about this administration has been very clear about its values. a free press is also essential for our democracy. journalists should not be at legal risk for doing their jobs. the way to make government responsible is to hold it accountable. i want everybody treated fairfully this country. transparency and the rule of law will be the touchstones of this presidency. jon: what the he didn t even
and he is the father. tosh s father is upset, yet not surprised. [laughter] so he masturbates with his own tears, and screamed i just bought tickets for your tour when it goes to indiana! i love you :) i m so excited! he wanted to get out of town in time to catch the sale at the perry ellis outlet mall but he found himself surrounded by al-qaeda. he was outnumbered but still managed to pleasure each man accordingly. [laughter] no one was unsatisfied! yes, i had to do gay stuff in prison, but that was for survival. survival! boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner boner. he dies. end of movie. [laughter] that one was a real tear-jerker. see you next week. good night. [cheers & applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause). jon: hey, everybody! welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart! we have a good one for you tonight. our guest tonight, the great morgan freeman is going to be joining us! but first (cheers
counterterrorism policy this afternoon at washington s national defense university. actual safety school. (laughter) all right. in the speech president obama questioned how our overzealous prosecution of the war on terror and the prison at guantanamo bay may be affecting our souls. look at the current situation where we are force feeding detainees who are being held on a hunger strike. is this who we are? is that something our founders foresaw? jon: oh, i don t know. (laughter) i actually think on a scale of founders foresaw prisoner mistreatment would take a backseat to black president. (laughter) i think the first thing they would say is who s that guy? and will he get me a sandwich? (laughter) but it is a good point, how a nation and its leaders react to threats both external and internal says a great deal about that administration s values and ideals. and while it s hard to judge an administration by the actions it says it wants to take but can t, perhaps we c
charlie engel is an ultra marathoner. an irs agent saw a documentary on how he went to marathons all over. he thought how can anyone afford that much time to train? he got obsessed with it. he wouldn t let it go. he found nothing. he even did dumpster diving and looked through his garbage. that all sounds crazy, right? he sent a female undercover agent to ask engel about his investments. she was pretending to seduce him. who knew the irs was doing that? engel admits to the lady, i was trying to flip real estate at some point which, by the way,
many people have done and many people lost money as engel did. engel also mentioned that he had a liar loan his broker had written down. they re like a ha! we got him, finally after all the dumpster diving. there were two mortgages in particular, right? one claimed he made $15,000 a month. and he made $180,000 for the whole year. so he did make $15,000 a month. the other said he made over $32,000 a month, which he didn t. now, engel said he didn t know about that $32,000 claim. now jurors kind of believed him, kind of didn t believe him and got confused. they found him not guilty of pro-i had vooing false information to the bank, which means he shouldn t be guilty of mortgage fraud of but they found him guilty of mortgage fraud anyway. are you ready for this? he s serving 21 months in prison. so mozilo, none of those guys get a prison sentence but this guy is in prison for 21 months. and you know who owns the loan? countrywide, now owned by bank of america. when he gets out, he s got t