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Transcripts For WDJT The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20161125

Also take the form of a stag, a beautiful young maiden or even cubs g. M. Jed hoyer. So tune in tuesday night and see if azmalor delivers on his promise that, yes, you will have your golden rings, trinkets all, but at a price you cannot fathom. Haha, haha go, cubs, go, and all hail azmalor announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, stephen welcomes tom hanks and adam conover featuring jon batiste and stay human and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen grand slam cheers and applause . . . Hey welcome to the late show everybody. So glad youre here. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And ive got to say, i am in a fantastic mood, because the chicago cubs are going to the world series, ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause thats right. The world cup of baseball and the cubs, the cubs are playing another lovable loser, the Cleveland Indians. Now, the two teams have a combined 176 years without a champio

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Transcripts For WOIO The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20161125

Also take the form of a stag, a beautiful young maiden or even cubs g. M. Jed hoyer. So tune in tuesday night and see if azmalor delivers on his promise that, yes, you will have your golden rings, trinkets all, but at a price you cannot fathom. Haha, haha go, cubs, go, and all hail azmalor show with Stephen Colbert tonight, stephen welcomes tom hanks and adam conover featuring jon batiste and stay human and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen grand slam cheers and applause . . . Hey welcome to the late show everybody. So glad youre here. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And ive got to say, i am in a fantastic mood, because the chicago cubs are going to th gentlemen cheers and applause thats right. The world cup of baseball and the cubs, the cubs are playing another lovable loser, the Cleveland Indians. Now, the two teams have a combined 176 years without a championship. To put that in perspective, that is almost

Vietnam
Republic-of
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Reykjavik
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Ontario
Canada

Transcripts For WUSA The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20161125

Also take the form of a stag, a beautiful young maiden or even cubs g. M. Jed hoyer. So tune in tuesday night and see if azmalor delivers on his promise that, yes, you will have your golden rings, trinkets all, but at a price you cannot fathom. Haha, haha go, cubs, go, and all hail azmalor announcer its the late tonight, stephen welcomes tom hanks and adam conover featuring jon batiste and stay human and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen grand slam cheers and applause . . . Hey welcome to the late show everybody. So glad youre here. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And ive got to say, i am in a fantastic mood, because the chicago cubs are going to the world series, ladies andge thats right. The world cup of baseball and the cubs, the cubs are playing another lovable loser, the Cleveland Indians. Now, the two teams have a combined 176 years without a championship. To put that in perspective, that is almost as l

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160721

And as soon as all the candidates walked out on stage, one thing became immediately clear there are still way too many candidates. Ronald reagan was strong, but Ronald Reagan didnt send troops into the middle east. And Ronald Reagan walked away at reykjavik. He walked away; he quit talking when it was time to quit talking. Can i finish with my time . Can i finish with my time . Why does she keep interrupting everybody . Yeah. Boy. [laughter, boos] yeah, boo boo, donald trump dont you dare shush carly fiorina. She may have another great fake abortion story to tell. At age 14, another teenager angered me, and i had a large camping knife, and i tried to stab him in the abdomen. Im dangerous and i try to kill people and im a bad person i should be president so the Republican Partys new itgirl is freshman texas senator ted cruz. Hey, hey [gunfire] hey [hiphop music] mmm. Machinegun bacon. [laughs] [laughs mockingly] that bacon is definitely from a human. [laughter] you said in september 30t

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20160719

It was actually pretty easy. The Security Code was just trump. All uppercase, of course. Now, you may have already blocked the memory of donald trump and how he became the nominee, so heres a quick reminder of just how the hell we got here. Please enjoy while i think about how to get back to my own country. To be clear, donald trump will not be republican nominee. Theres never been a universe in which donald trump was going to be the republican nominee. So confident and so wrong. Donald trump delivers a knockout blow in indiana. Today he wears the partys banner. Presumptive nominee. After winning indiana, donald trump will be the republican nominee for president. American politics has just entered a whole new world. Just like the one aladdin and jasmine sang about, exceptexcept they cant come cause theyre muslim. [laughter] how did donald trump go from being the guy who fakefired people on tv to the orangetinted terror . You know, how the [bleep] did we get here . Its the subject of ou

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