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Yes, We Have No Fantods Today

9/30/2023 – Michigan 45, Nebraska 7 – 5-0, 2-0 Big Ten This column is about being grateful but first a digression into obscure lexicography, as the readership demands. Despite an Atlantic article that accidentally implies that the noun "fantods" was a neologism sprouted from David Foster Wallace's mother, Merriam Webster asserts that Charles Fredrick Briggs deployed in 1839; indeed, it actually found its way in to Huckleberry Finn: "They was all nice pictures, I reckon, but I didn't somehow seem to take to them, because … they always give me the fantods." I think it is probable that DFW's mother is the originator of the phrase "howling fantods," which does feel like a temple erected on top of a previous religion's foundation. Fantods are one thing. When they howl, wow. Buddy. I mean. It's not good. I was put in this frame of mind in the midst of Michigan's comprehensive dismantling of Nebraska because whilst I was enjoyi

Fee Fi Foe Film: Nebraska Offense 2023

Michigan's first road game of the season is this Saturday against the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln. The Huskers are 2-2 on the season, with an offense that features a lot of rushing, QB controversy, and turnover woes. We will do our best to cover all of that in this piece today. The Film: Nebraska has played four teams this season, Minnesota, Colorado, NIU, and Louisiana Tech. As a policy, I do not do chart against Group of Five teams unless I have to, which leads to a bit of a predicament. Nebraska's QB in the first two games was Jeff Sims, who then exited the Colorado game with an injury. Nebraska's QB in the next two games was Heinrich Haarberg, who seems favored to get the start on Saturday. In theory this should make me compelled to do either the NIU/La. Tech game but with both defenses being wretched, I ultimately felt the best way to go about this was the following: to chart the Minnesota game (by far the best defense Nebraska has played) in order to get a fee

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