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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

[ light laughter ] President Trump met with the russian minister of Foreign Affairs on the same day hes being impeached. That is brazen naming it the missing wife. [ laughter ] wheel of fortune sidekick vanna white this week started a threeweek run as fillin host and let me tell you, it is chaos in the nursing home. [ light laughter ] what is she doing wheres pat . [ light laughter ] President Trumps campaign has released a line of lgbtq pride themed merchandise and then mike pence squinted so hard, his eyes healed over kfc announced last week that it will begin selling a fireplace log that smells like fried chicken. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] perfect if youve ever wondered what your dog would look like on fire [ laughter and applause according to a new report, liam was the most popular baby name for boys this year tied for last, lev and igor. [ light laughter ] a man in asia recently proposed to a silicone sex doll but if you ask me, hes just using her. [ light laughter ] a n

Transcripts For KNTV Late 20240703

Featuring the 8g band with fred armisen and Jacquelene Acevedo [ cheers and applause and now, Seth Meyers Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. We hope youre doing well. And now, if you dont mind, were going to get to the news ohio congressman jim jordan failed to secure enough votes today in the second round of voting to become House Speaker and received only 199 votes. Thats worse than he did yesterday. If they keep doing votes hes eventually going to get to zero and then hell fade away like marty mcfly in a family photo. [ laughter ] the white house announced last night that President Bidens scheduled stop in jordan has been canceled, making it the second jordan to get shut down this week. [ laughter ] President Biden arrived this morning in israel, making him the first president to visit israel during a time of war, which is pretty dangerous, but he should be okay once he makes it down the stairs [ laughter ] the Treasury Department announced new sanctions today ag

Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20180117

[ laughter ] the white house physician today gave a report on President Trumps First Physical exam and said trump takes propecia to avoid male pattern baldness. And i guess its working because there doesnt seem to be a pattern. [ laughter and applause ] according to the washington post, the meeting where President Trump used an expletive to describe african countries was dominated by loud crosstalk and swearing. But on the bright side, mike pence made 75. [ laughter and applause ] during her testimony before the Senate Judiciary committee today, Homeland Security secretary Kirstjen Nielsen said that she didnt know if norway was a predominantly white country. You dont know . [ light laughter ] have you tried asking your name . [ laughter ] President Trump, today, made a surprise appearance at a women of America Panel at the white house. Said trump, four, four, six, three, seven, six. All right, lets move on to the bikini competition. [ laughter ] a brothel in nevada has announced it wil

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20180117

History. [ laughter ] the white house physician today gave a report on President Trumps First Physical exam and said trump takes propecia to avoid male pattern baldness. And i guess its working because there doesnt seem to be a pattern. [ laughter and applause ] according to the washington post, the meeting where President Trump used an expletive to describe african countries was dominated by loud crosstalk and swearing. But on the bright side, mike pence made 75. [ laughter and applause ] during her testimony before the Senate Judiciary committee today, Homeland Security secretary Kirstjen Nielsen said that she didnt know if norway was a predominantly white country. You dont know . [ light laughter ] have you tried asking your name . [ laughter ] President Trump, today, made a surprise appearance at a women of America Panel at the white house. Said trump, four, four, six, three, seven, six. All right, lets move on to the bikini competition. [ laughter ] a brothel in nevada has announc

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170914

Her new netflix special, chucklebee. [ laughter and applause ] musician and Prospective Senate candidate, kid rock gave a political speech last night in detroit and said, i love black people and i love white people too, but neither as much as i love red, white and blue. [ laughter ] oh, god. Oh, god, hes gonna win. The white house announced today that President Trump will sign a resolution passed by congress that condemns white supremacists. Oh, i can see it now, okay, donald j. Trunch. What . I signed it, i signed it. [ laughter ] former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer was named a visiting fellow at Harvard University today, which is pretty much what he was at the white house. [ laughter and applause ] oh, sean hes just visiting. According to new data, american women earned about 80 as much as their male counterparts last year. Said one woman, i dont have male counterparts. [ laughter and applause ] former White House Communications director, Anthony Scaramucci went to twitter

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