greg: thank you! all right! yeah! let s start! wow. that was amazing. [laughter] i wish i smoked. it s friday, so you know what that means. let s welcome tonight s guests. you may recognize him from his feature in average white guy magazine, cohost of fox & friends first, todd piro. [applause] as former miss citrus, she comes freshly squeezed. host of the morgan ortagus show on sirius xm, morgan ortagus! [applause] it s been 12 years since she tested positive for food. new york times best-selling author and fox news contributor, kat timpf! [applause] and the great barrier reef is his loofah. new york times best-selling author, comedian, world champion, tyrus! [applause] before we get to some news stories, let s do this. announcer: greg s leftovers! greg: it s leftovers, where i read the jokes we didn t use this week. as always, it s my first time reading them, so if they suck, we will put joe mackey in a meat grinder and turn them into hot dogs. [laugh
his defense, he was standing up. maybe he should have blown her a kiss he couldn t hug her. if he s a governor, doesn t matter that he s uncomfortable? tyrus: oh, that car ride home was uncomfortable. [laughter] you shook my hand? i m your wife. that was a bad moment. i never shaking hands with my wife unless it was a bit. she was so sure because she googled dr.ed something and just knew it, i ll be like, bet $500 then. why my bedding, it s my money? and then even when she s wrong, she still ends up right. so do not shake hands with your wife if you have any sense, especially in public because you hear about how all the other candidates kiss their wife, they held their hands when they walk. they ll shake hands. i m not your buddy, i m not your pal. who s the bitch you didn t want to see kissing your wife? that s what i want to know!