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talking about that, but the thing that s interesting to me is that we are still having the conversation. and it is still selling magazines so much. i saw this was like the biggest selling or biggest clicked on story for the atlantic in years. so many women we talk to online say why are we having this conversation, i thought we were done with that. it is 18 pages long. that s why. that s why we are talking about it. that in and of itself throws the balance off. she s an academic she writes long, but i do want to talk about sort of what it means to be a regular mom who doesn t have the choices. on the other hand, i think ref((prj point is an important one, it s important for us not to just wave our hands and say, if you have money and health insurance and a helpful husband, then if you re not fulfilled, it is all your fault. there s something about this problem that has not been emerging for this group of women. no one is asking this about men. no one has this discussion abou