gets done on every page. the t.s.a. has dropped its plans to allow golf clubs on airplanes. great. now the putting green in first class s useless. this is the colbert report. captioning sponsored by comedy central [ cheers and applause ] stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen: welcome to the report. thank you so much. good to have you with us. all right. folks, thank you for coming. folks, the supreme court delivered a landmark ruling yesterday with far-reaching consequences for our privacy, our criminal justice system, and i m sorry. there s just something a little more important i need to talk about. it s that new superman movie. [ cheers and applause ] i have not seen it. and do not like what i have not seen. folks, i have been warning you about the man of steel for two years now. about the way it s liberal indoctrination about hope and change and the scandal that the guy playing superman is english. excuse me, english. superman is an american from kryp
that s part of it. stephen: okay. let s talk about the hip hop community and let them know you re representing them in the i m not a rapper. i m really not a rapper. stephen: congressman represent. you out there, i m representing you as representative. representative. [crowd cheering] you should come joy us in brooklyn. stephen: by the way, why isn t your district in brooklyn. can your district not afford to live in manhattan. we re brooklynites. we pride ourselves not being in manhattan. we re die hard. everyone knows brooklyn goes hard. stephen: some people have called baroque lynn s decision to become part of new york city the great mistake of 1898. yes. stephen: if you could get into a time machine and go back to 1898, what would you say to those brooklynites. now am i going back not knowing what i know now. stephen: knowing what you know now. what i know now. stephen: go back in time. it s you going back in time. that s an interesting idea
stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen: thank you very much, folks. that s very kind. stephen: who am i to fight that, i m only one man. folks, and i need your love because folks, this is a bitter sweet evening. because saturday marks the end of an era. the era of caring whom mike huckabee is. (laughter) who is that? oh, that s huckabee. folks, think we ll all remember where we were when we stopped caring. i was [bleep] where was i. i don t care. doesn t matter. anyway, mike huckabee who just last week was leading in many national polls promised that on saturday night he was going to announce his presidential plans on what some critics have called his television show. (laughter) stephen: i tuned in for the whole thing and of course i assumed he was running because on the show he was so clearly laying the groundwork for a presidential campaign by interviewing mario lopez, then jamming on cat scratch fever with ted nudge ent. i mean this nug, nt.
captioning sponsored by comedy central . (cheers and applause) stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report! folks. (cheers and applause) stephen: thank you so much. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen: thank you very much, folks. that s very kind. stephen: who am i to fight that, i m only one man. folks, and i need your love because folks, this is a bitter sweet evening. because saturday marks the end of an era. the era of caring whom mike huckabee is. (laughter) who is that? oh, that s huckabee. folks, think we ll all remember where we were when we stopped caring. i was [bleep] where was i. i don t care. doesn t matter. anyway, mike huckabee who just last week was leading in many national polls promised that on saturday night he was going to announce his presidential plans on what some critics have called his television show. (laughter) stephen: i tuned in for the whole thing and of course i assumed he was running be