it is very difficult. it was the toughest thing for myself. i m used to it. why? my whole family s been incarcerated since i was a kid do any of your children come to see you? no, i have five children. i have twins, too. god lord in heaven. you have five children. yeah, my kids are grown and i have the 5-year-old baby. my children are grown. who s got the baby? and my baby, the 5-year-old is with my 20-year-old that i came here to visit in arizona. so she has my 5-year-old. how do you stand being away from your children? that s hard. i m so used to the one that s been abandoned in my life. it is by the grace of you might say god. this time around i abandoned. i m the one who s just being abandoned and i abandoned my family this time so i feel really horrible. for me, it s very difficult. due to my circumstances, i don t have my mother s phone number.