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Transcripts For KPHO The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20160916

The interview also revealed that trump eats a fair amount of fast food because, according to him, at least you know whats in it. laughter you know whats in it . Donald, the only thing we know less about than whats in fast food is what is in your tax returns. cheers and applause then good dr. Asked the 70year old candidate to diagnose himself. When you look into the mirror, how old is the person you are looking at . What do you see . I would say, i see a person thats 35 years old. cheers and applause stephen 35 . Donald, thats not your reflection, thats your wife. Beautiful woman jon cold blooded its true. Stephen beautiful woman. Trump also said he doesnt exercise that often but, even, so hes good enough at golf to play with the pga. Thats a real medical shocker. Judging by the size of his hands, i would have guessed minigolf. piano riff which, according to a new survey out of the university of california, overall, most u. S. Men are satisfied with their genitals. So satisfied, in fact

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20160916

Stephen hey hey nice to see ya cheers and applause i got it whoo thank you so much thank you, ladies and gentlemen please thank you so much welcome to the late show cheers and applause wow wow. Thank you. That is a fresh audience. cheers and applause jon they got a good vibe stephen you know the audience is fresh, because we keep it here in the crisper. Welcome to the late show. Im stephen colbert. Hows everybody feeling tonight . cheers and applause everybody wants to know about how the candidates are feeling. There has been a lot of talk about the candidates health in this election. A lot of people are worried Hillary Clinton isnt healthy enough to be president , and a lot of people are worried that donald trump is. laughter like that. One or the other. Dont know. You dont know which one to be worried about that. And its no surprise people are raising the health issue, because these are the two oldest candidates ever to square off in a president ial election. Which means, whoever win

Transcripts For KCNC The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20160916

Know why. Trump eats a fair amount of fast food because, according to him, at least you know whats in it. laughter you know whats in it . Donald, the only thing we know less about than whats in fast food is what is in your tax returns. cheers and applause then good dr. Asked the 70year old candidate to diagnose himself. When you look into the mirror, how old is the person you are looking at . What do you see . I would say, i see a person thats 35 years old. cheers and applause stephen 35 . Donald, thats not your reflection, thats your wife. cheers and applause beautiful woman jon cold blooded its true. Stephen beautiful woman. Trump also said he doesnt exercise that often but, even, so hes good enough at golf to play with the pga. Thats a real medical shocker. Judging by the size of his hands, i would have guessed minigolf. piano riff out of the university of california, overall, most u. S. Men are satisfied with their genitals. So satisfied, in fact, that many would like to text you a

Transcripts For WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20160507

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 466. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] oh jimmy hi, everybody. Hey welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone, welcome to the tonight show. You made it. [ cheers and applause ] youre here. This is the show. Thank you very much. Im your host jimmy fallon. I want to say happy early mothers day to all the moms out there. [ cheers and applause ] happy mothers day. And listen to this, i read that hooters is offering its annual free meal for moms. [ light laughter ] apparently moms must be accompanied by at least one kid. [ light laughter ] who must also be accompanied by at least one psychiatrist. Steve why are we here . Jimmy meanwhile, i read about a company that will make a lifesize 3d printed model of yourself that you can send to your mom for 30,000. [ light laughter ] its a great way of telling your mom id rather spend 30,000 than visit you in person. [ laughter and applause ] sending a mannequi

Transcripts For WRC The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20160507

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 466. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] oh jimmy hi, everybody. Hey welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone, welcome to the tonight show. You made it. [ cheers and applause ] youre here. This is the show. Thank you very much. Im your host jimmy fallon. I want to say happy early mothers day to all the moms out there. Happy mothers day. And listen to this, i read that hooters is offering its annual free meal for moms. [ light laughter ] apparently moms must be accompanied by at least one kid. [ light laughter ] who must also be accompanied by at least one psychiatrist. Steve why are we here . Jimmy meanwhile, i read about a company that will make a lifesize 3d printed model of yourself that you can send to your mom for 30,000. [ light laughter ] its a great way of telling your mom id rather spend 30,000 than visit you in person. [ laughter and applause ] sending a mannequin. Everybody is getting

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