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RHOSLC episode, while Whitney and Heather are driving out to the-set-of- Deliverance-I-mean-mountain-spa, Heather whispers, I m, like, scared and excited. And ain t that just the truth. I would define my permanent state of being right now as scared and excited, and never more so than on Wednesdays, because, well, Wednesdays are kind of when all the world-altering events are going down these days… But also, because Wednesdays are when The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City airs, a series that fills me with constant excitement and trepidation. While I live in fear of Jen Shah splashing hot water out of an ancient tub onto a cameraman and threatening to drown a bitch, or of Mary Cosby treating Charlinda like a lamp that occasionally speaks, I also treasure those things for their sheer lunacy. I fluctuate rapidly between worrying that all of the marriages on

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