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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130725

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Thank you so much. Stephen, stephen, stephen [ cheers and applause ] stephen welcome to the report. Pittsburgh penguin, pittsburgh penguin, cheerio, jolly good to have you with us. Wot, wot. As you can tell, i am still in the throes of royal baby fever which has me worried because youre supposed to starve a royal baby cold and feed a royal baby fever and i dont want to eat english food. Me and the royal baby have so much in common in that both of our fontanelles are not closed yet. Its like a koosh ball up there. Of course, once the heir arrived, there was only one question on every newsmans mind how long is this still news . The answer, of course, until we get a baby name. Dammit. Britains new prince is named Prince George of cambridge. The royal babys full name is George Alexander louis. Stephen oh, theres going to be another king george. Oh, that makes me want to violently es

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130725

John thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is your moment of zen. Andy, this right here is a map of downtown saginaw. This is happening at north michigan and going all the way to safe avenue. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Thank you so much. Stephen, stephen, stephen [ cheers and applause ] stephen welcome to the report. Pittsburgh penguin, pittsburgh penguin, cheerio, jolly good to have you with us. Wot, wot. As you can tell, i am still in the throes of royal baby fever which has me worried because youre supposed to starve a royal baby cold and feed a royal baby fever and i dont want to eat english food. Me and the royal baby have so much in common in that both of our fontanelles are not closed yet. Its like a koosh ball up there. Of course, once the heir arrived, there was only one question on

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130725

cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Thank you so much. Stephen, stephen, stephen [ cheers and applause ] stephen welcome to the report. Pittsburgh penguin, pittsburgh penguin, cheerio, jolly good to have you with us. Wot, wot. As you can tell, i am still in the throes of royal baby fever which has me worried because youre supposed to starve a royal baby cold and feed a royal baby fever and i dont want to eat english food. Me and the royal baby have so much in common in that both of our fontanelles are not closed yet. Its like a koosh ball up there. Of course, once the heir arrived, there was only one question on every newsmans mind how long is this still news . The answer, of course, until we get a baby name. Dammit. Britains new prince is named Prince George of cambridge. The royal babys full name is George Alexander louis. Stephen oh, theres going to be another king george. Oh, that makes me want to violently establish our independence all over again. Yes, i do. Who is

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20130726

[laughter] youll be like, oh, its sold out. Just, like, wait till next year. The shows not that good. Ive seen it. [laughter] and please follow me on twitter so we can live chat during the show. You can also watch full episodes of tosh. 0 on flo tv live mobile television. Finally, i showed you this video last week and asked you to guess what i was reacting to. Well, here are your guesses. Was it jane lynch winning an emmy . [laughter] no, it wasnt, but she deserved it. I am a huge gleetard. I dont know. But it was recio from the black guy clip of the week . Yes, recio, that was you. [laughter] [audience ohs] were you watching the jets and the slutty mexican reporter . No. I find that hard to believe. The jets cant score on anyone. [audience ohs] [cheers and applause] gonna be a long year, sanchez. [laughter] you were watching the diffrent strokes episode with dudley in the bike shop. Oh you mean the molesting episode. No, i wasnt, but solid reference. No. Was it the Interrogation Room

Transcripts For MSNBCW Morning Joe 20130725

New york, new york the city that never sleeps just got one more thing to keep it up at night. Because yesterday the thinkable happened. Two years after a tawdry sexting scandal chased him from Congress Anthony weiner is begging for forgiveness again. He continued to send lewd messages and photos to one woman after he was forced to resign from congress. Even after the sexting scandal, turns out he learned nothing. Has this man never heard of snapchat . He has been told. By us. Good morning and welcome to morning joe. Its thursday, july 25, 2013. A lot to get to today including tragedies, another highprofile train accident takes 77 lives and closer to home iowa congressman stands by his comments comparing immigrants to drug mules despite from being under attack. Trayvon martins father on capitol hill yesterday and Edward Snowden still playing tom thanks, stuck in a russian airport. Boston a bit stronger this morning as the last injured victim from the april bombing left the hospital and

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