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While many believe the words “child” and “marriage” should never appear next to each other, for others, child marriage is the dream. The Onion asked men to explain why age of consent laws are too strict, and this is what they said.

Age of consentCalvin walshAul delilloOuis westgateSexual consentFrank moseleyLewis wrightAle finegoldEvin laboyWes neubauerTevie francoDave arnoldHank watsonWyatt ellisCarson smithOlin brechard