Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight its more moore. Plus, stephen welcomes mark hamill and bobby flay featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause cheers and applause . Welcome, everybody. Please, sit down youre very kind. Sit down please, enjoy the seats what do i have there . Thank you, sit down. Please. Sit, sit, sit welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Is it off . Did i get it off . I came to the station tonight crawling through the steam tunnel. I got dust on me. Its friday, a big weekend ahead. Everybody is excited. Everyone is gearing up for tuesdays special election in alabama to decide the fate of Senate Candidate and billythelikeskids, roy moore. Eight women have accused moore of Sexual Misconduct while they were young teenagers, but donald trump still supports him, so tonight, trumps holding a giant rally, in a different state pensacola, in fact, because it turns out, pensacola is in the same media market as areas such mobile, alabama. So to campaign for moore, trump is crossing state lines, something moore legally cant do with his dates. laughter and if you had any doubt about trumps intentions, trumps daughterinlaw, lara recorded a robocall for moore supporters inviting them to the president s appearance in pensacola. They also got a handwritten letter from her husband, eric. Come see my daddy, haha penis. True story. We didnt make that picture up. Thats a real picture. laughter but my favorite part of the rally is the video that came with trumps announcement. Jim . Make America Great again make America Great again lift the torch of freedom all across the land laughter then, on saturday, trump will be in mississippi, attending the opening of the states civil rights museum. Awkward in fact, the president of the n. A. A. C. P. Called trumps appearance an affront to the veterans of the civil rights movement. Well, an affront applause yeah. Laugh well, the atlantic just published an indepth profile on pence, and theres all kinds of juicy nuggets in there. For instance, pence was a fat little kid or, as he put it, the real pumpkin in the pickle patch. That is the folksiest way to describe childhood sadness ive ever heard. Yep, i was a pumpkin in a pickle patch, a lemon in the ol mellon bowl, a real weeping loner at the freshman formal. Whoops, that wasnt a metaphor. laughter they also include some of mike pences Crazy College shenanigans. Sigh are sue, bation thulg, see, back then, his College Fraternity threw a keg party, which attracted the attention of one of the deans. So his frat brothers scrambled to hide the kegs and plastic cups, but then pence met the administrator at the door, and led the dean straight to the kegs and admitted that they belonged to the fraternity. The resulting punishment was severe. Yes, the frat was never allowed to hold another frat party. Is what they told mike pence. laughter cant do it, mike. Sorry. No. Were going to stay in and study, too the piece also profiles pences term in congress, where pence didnt have a reputation for legislative acumen, and some of his colleagues called him a nickname behind his back mike dense. Haha ha and i hope soon hell be president dense. But what really comes through in this piece is pences belief that hes doing the lords work. As the article puts it, what critics should worry about is not that pence believes in god, but that he seems so certain god believes in him. And i, for one, cant help but wonder if god really does believe in pence. Lord. Oh, you never know where im going to show up sometimes in a sunset, sometimes on a Grilled Cheese sandwich. Not anymore, though. Im lactose intolerant. Stephen i didnt know that. Oh, yeah, thats where thunder comes from. laughter yeah, i told a guy to stab his son. Turns out, thats illegal. Who knew . Sorry, isaac. Stephen god, everyone thank you. Stop by any time. Thank you, stephen. Good to see you. Stephen weve got a great show for you tonight. Mark hamill is here. But when we return, ive got an exclusive new scene from a galaxy far, far away. Stick around, everybody. applause hey ramirez un poquito mas rapido, no . [instrumental music playing throughout] [wheel squeaking] beautiful bike, just beautiful. Ha,ha,ha. 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But it might be hard to handle like the flame that burns the candle the candle feeds the flame topped steak twisted potatoes at applebees. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. Tha. Oh, burnton gravy . Ie. Gotta rinse that. Nope. No way. Nada. Really . Dish issues . Throw it all in. Cascade platinum powers through even burnton gravy. Nice. Cascade. dog growls named after a star. Crafted to celebrate an unforgettable holiday. Host one to remember. You know when your hands are covered in flour or, ew chicken gizzards. And you go to check the recipe and. Wait the screen locked and your hands are still dirty instead hey google, whats the next step . Google voice mix the eggs with the flour. Its google home mini. Now only 29. Its google home mini. Because everyone likes easy. Because everyone is on the go. Because we all like to save energy, but sometimes we slip up. Reaching up. Ssssh because sometimes we want it cool at night, then toasty in the mornings. Introducing the easy to use, energy saving, adjustable from everywhere, easy on the wallet and the eyes, nest thermostat e. E is for everyone. band playing cheers and applause there wooo oh, my goodness jon, im so excited. Its the weekend. Im going to get the final shopping done. Its all going to be great. Jon friday stephen everybody is going to get new pillows from that my pillow guy. Everybody in my life. Theyreally gutting pillows. Were all sleepy these days. Jon we need to lay down a little bit. Stephen you canital im a lit candle right now, and the reason im so excited is we have mark hamill here tonight to talk about the last jedi. Luke skywalker, himself ive been a fan of his for so long. Because unlike most people, i didnt jump on the bandwagon when he became a jedi. I was into him way back when he was just a moisture farmer, in fact, before it was cool. Obviously, the original movies are classics, and im loving the new trilogy just as much. But because there was a 30year gap between them, we have no idea what luke was up to during that time. We missed out on so many exciting adventures because those movies were never made. But, fortunately, we do have a clip tonight from those nonexistant films. Jim . laughter sniffs excuse me. cheers and applause excuse me, sir, sir. No. Sky walker. Luke skywalker. Stephen luke, luke, luke, okay. Ive got a luke starkiller. Is that close . Well, thats a dumb name. Let me see that list. These are all fake names general grievous . Count dooku . Jarjar binks . Now that ones got to be a mistake. Laugh stephen well, youre one to talk, okay. applause you are one to talk, mr. Space jogger. laughter i did not want to do this, but, you will let me into the cantina. Stephen no, i wont. I already told you that. I just said that a second ago. You will let me in the cantina. Stephen what are you weaving at . Are you tring to do this thing . Nanu, nanu. Look, i didnt want to do this, but do you know who my father is . laughter song bopbop, doddelydaaaaahdoo bopbop please, stop thats their only song. Doodoodoo, doodobat go ahead. Look im being chased by stormtroopers and i know the last thing you want to hear is somebody whining about their day, but i have to pick up some power converters. And i havent had a drink in twelve parsecs stephen thats not a unit of time. Youre going to let me in to the cantina, you stuckup, halfwitted, scruffylooking nerf herder stephen whoa look who dropped the nh word. Oh, come on. Ive got to get out of sight. The stormtroopers are going to stephen im sorry. Youll just have to try the cantina across the street. All right, fine. I guess ill just go over to the dark side. Stephen okay, good luck. Try the fried porg. Its amazing. Stephen well be right back with mark hamill cheers and applause guess what i just got . Hello again. Hi. Get up to 400 towards a galaxy note8 or s8 with qualifying tradein. Only on samsung. Com wthis weekend hundreds of deals up to 30 off with cartwheel in the target app. Save big with weekend deals every weekend. Only at target charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. Charmin ultra soft is softer than ever. So its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird. Enjoy the go with charmin band playing cheers and applause my first guest is an iconic actor whose career spans over four decades and is the guest im looking for. Please welcome mark hamill applause theater, direct by alan arkin. He had all his second city buddies i idolized for years. I just dont want to start in. They were all fantastic. Stephen i was a senior in college and i had come to new york to actually interview to be an intern on David Lettermans show, and a friend of mine said, i can get us a job as ushers for one night to see this play. And i said, sure, that will be fun. And i walked in, and you were on the stage doing the groucho mark. The critics came in thinking i would play the innocent midwestern playwright golee. I have never been in the city before. And instead was a sleazy gordon miller. They were shocked. Plut of plus it didnt look like me. I had pants up to here, a half jar of pomaid and the brilliantine mistash, and people said thats not mark. Thats gordon miller. Thats why whati like about character actors. If in v you get a lot of parts you wouldnt get on camera. Stephen many have said of all the jockers, yourself is the greatest of all time. applause . laughter and thats a tip, by the way if youre going to fudge your age, lie up, because people will say, boy, he really looks good for 83 as all the situations and characters were, it was so relatable. I mean, here we risk our lives to save the princess, the first thing she complains about is, you came in that . Stephen arent you kind of short for a stormtrooper. Exactly. All of that stuff. That was just so relatable and human. And, you know, i knew it wasnt science fiction. I got the part from a screen test. I didnt read the whole script until they said, youre going to be luke. And when i i still remember the chair i was sitting in and where i was when i started reading this thing. I go, oh, my gosh. This is more like wizard of oz with a gender switch, where luke gets swept off into this fantastic adventure. But i couldnt believe my eyes. Because i was a fan as a kid. I read famous monsters magazines and built the monster model kits. I was the biggest enthusiast. I remember i would get really excited and go, and hes like, whatever floas floets your boat. laughter applause you. They were dressed like us. And we were like stephen it was me. laughter cheers and applause it was it was kind of me. I was one of those kids i was one of those kids who, like, at night, when no one was around would do this. Thinking if i could just concentrate enough. And you see this 40yearold guy turn into an eightyearold right before your pipes what a treat its been. Stephen which color lightsaber. I know you cant tell us anything so tell us everything in the force awakens you show up at the last minute in there. The most elaborate entrance in the history of cinema. laughter . Your training, young man. Dont get so mouthy. There was the original, there was the prequel, and this is the next generation. Luke is no longer the protagonist, its rey, and its not my story anymore. Its just so fun to be invited back to the party, especially when you didnt think it was going to happen. Stephen i know you cant clear much up for us. But can we what can we infer from the photo im about to show . Have you seen this at all. Okay, so, star wars you can sell anything with star wars, including fruits and vegetables. And if you look on this photo of dole products, youve got darth vader on apples, yoda on grapes naturally, green. Youve got r2d2 on a head of cauliflower, and luke is on a bag of iceberg lettuce. laught to the ice planet of hoff . What can we discern from you being on iceberg lettuce . Well, if you go to hamill shamelessly pandering for more follow ears you can see my tweets on that. I said we love star wars fruits and veggiies. But yoda and vader had it much easier because who doesnt like fruits and vegetables. Luke had it harder. Poor r2d2, no matter how adorable he is on that cover, its still cauliflower no kid is going to be fooled by that. They want it to be m ms. Stephen i think this means your character dies and ill tell you why. Because if you eat only iceberg lettuce, you will die of malnutrition. I got a lot of backlash from people who love cauliflower, so, please, no more hate tweets. Stephen there are yes. No, im not kidding. They said, whats your problem . Have you ever had it roasted with garlic . I mean, its only a joke, you know. Dont take me seriously. Im just another crank on twitter. laughter applause cheers listen, if youve played the trickster and the joker, as i have, for so many years, the upside is nobody takes anything you say seriously, and thats a good thing, because its liberating, you know. Youre just youre a jester. Youre there for fun. Im having so much fun, and to me, thats the most important thing, you know. Im in the business of escapism. And everybody wants to go to hogwarts or middle earth, or wherever oz, the land of oz, or to a galaxy far, far away because its real life is really unpleasant at times. And this is a good way for you to, you know, forget about your problems for two hours. Oh, in this case, this is the longest star wars film. This is two and a half hours, which youll find out in about a week. applause i know, i know. Fans, the people that love it. I mean, i i stipulate that its not for everybody. Not Everybody Loves star wars. But the people who do, i call u. P. F. S ultrapassionate fans. And they love this thing to the point where they relate stories of how it got them through their mothers illness or they met their life online or they it just its become such a fabric of their lives. Its truly moving. I dont see it on a daytoday basis, but when giout in public or to these celebrations and so forth, its just astonishing how passionate they really are. And i dont take it for granted. And, you know, if it werent for the fans, i wouldnt be sitting here talking to Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause the last jedi is in theaters december 15. Well be right back its red lobsters new ultimate surf turf event. Get ready these 5 pairings are gonna floor ya. Like our new feast with lobsterwrapped scallops and a juicy sirloin, plus a savory lobsterandshrimp smashed potato. And our new lobster and seafoodtopped filet . Every bite is better than the last. The classic is here too. Come indulge in surf turf like youve never had it before its too late. And weekdays, create your own seafood lovers lunch for just 9. 99. Hellooo, ho ho ho ho bring your pet to petsmart this weekend from 124 pm for a free photo taken with santa plus, for 3 days only, select toys and treats are under 10 say petsmart for the love of pets. This new day looks nothing like yesterday. Paths arent what they used to be. Roads nowhere to be found. and its exactly what youre looking for. giwhere this weekend fines jewelery is 6070 off and its exactly what youre looking for. Plus take an extra 25 off give joy with a Brilliant Diamond bracelet a diamond ring. Or a sprakling diamond necklace and earring set give joy, get joy this weekend at kohls. band playing cheers and applause people wanted to know so i wrote it. Stephen youre not going to tell us. You have to bate book. Exactly. Its the Holiday Season stephen fitness and the Holiday Season, thats an oxymoron, they dont go together at all. This is a totally bad idea right now. Stephen are these recipes from the book . Yes, theyre from the book, and we have liquor. Stephen oh, well, thats my diet. laughter should you trust a fit chef . Yes, you should. Pomegranates. Which one would you like, sir . pop applause pomegranate, why not. There. Stephen so what would you would you start off with this . You start off with a cocktail because for the holidays you want everybody in the mood. Stephen this is an aperteef to get everybody ready for the drinking later on . Exactly. We have spiced nuts. Stephen oh bobby flay spiced nuts. Maple syrup. A little bit the brown sugar, and some spices. We just put that in there. And then were going to take we have a exwing of different nuts pecans, almonds,ica shoes. You want to give that a toss. It will hurt you if you get it on you. Stephen dont worry about me. All right stephen i got that. I got that. Mr. Colbert. Stephen come on, feel me do you cook for your family . Do you have to cook for the holidays . When youre the chef of the family, people dont want to know if youre cooking. They want to know what theyre eating. Thats it. Thats the way it works. Stephen that looks flaming hot. A little spicy, a little sweet. Stephen is it a problem if i have a nut allergy . Nope, youll be totally fine. laughter . Seems leak a very oldfashioned kind of christmas meal, dickensian. Exactly what i was going to say. Stephen like charles dickens, like a christmas carol. What did you think dickensian was. What did you think i meant . Obviously i never used that word before. Stephen you learn something new every day. Its amazing. Heres some coconut milk whoops. Heres some coconut milk, and instead of using whipped cream, well take the top of the coconut milk and whip it. Stephen if youre lactose intolerant you can used the whipped coconut milk. Absolutely, and its so delicious. Well plate this up. Stephen wouldnt you stir that . Because now this is mixed in. Sure, there you go, stir away. Well attack a pear. Stephen one pear. A pear at a time, whipped coconut milk. And, here, youre going to do this. Youre going to just stephen uhhuh. Mr. Colbert . Stephen laughter cheers and applause we have a fragrance for that. Glade limited edition fragrances. [firewor[ ]xploding] hurry in to old navy get gifting with up to 60 off the entire store. Thats up to 60 off the entire store with styles from 6 dollars, at old navy. people spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm than with tylenol pm. Advil pm combines the number one pain reliever pm. For a healing nights sleep. Ito become dangerous. D for an everyday item new tide pods child guard pack. Helps keep your laundry pacs safe and your child safer. Align, press and unzip. All smartphones are more or less the same, right . But this is the moto z. Hello moto. Can your phone turn into a projector . Because a 70 inch projection beats any phone screen. And they might be bragging about portrait mode. But can your phone go beyond and transform into a real 360 camera . Its time to reinvent your smartphone. Its time to move on. Moto mods on the new moto z, from motorola. Available at all major carriers. Well its a perfect nespresso hold on a second. Orge. Mmm. [mel torme sings comin home baby] hey there. Want a lift . Where are we going . No dont tell me. Let me guess. Have a nice ride. How far would you go for coffee thats a cup above . I brought you nespresso. Nespresso. What else . You know how you dont talk like this. forces to enunciate slowly play the peter bjorn and john song called young folks on spotify. You talk like this hey google, play that hipster song with whistling. young folks plays e mini. Now only 29. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she had to buy lots of groceries. While she was shopping for organic fruits and veggies, burglars broke into her shoe. They stole her kids Mountain Bikes and tablets along with her new juice press. Luckily the Geico Insurance agency had helped her with Homeowners Insurance. She got full replacement on the stolen goods and started a Mountain Bike juice delivery service. Call geico and see how affordable Homeowners Insurance can be. dog growls named after a star. Crafted to celebrate an unforgettable holiday. Host one to remember. Feel the power of thenew power. Smax. To fight back theraflus powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms. Fast. So you can play on. Theraflu expressmax. New power. Wthis weekend hundreds of deals up to 30 off with cartwheel in the target app. Save big with weekend deals every weekend. Only at target applause . So thought. Theres so much Sexual Harassment happening over the past couple of centuries laughter just all these brandnew allegations from the beginning of time. I think its actually in the bible. They were like, and on the third day, god was like hey, sugar bleep . I would also like to say thats not me on the bus. laughter you dont get to say that. Because i was there. And the last 14 months of my life i have been dealing with it, and you dealt with it for 14 minutes and went on to be the president. Mad. Stephen cnn should have a label before every show that says, processed in a factory that also processes information. I adored lady bird. T has everything us artistic types love smoking, drinking, and an actress with an unpronouncable name. I remember a few years ago i was in the airport and being picked up by someone and they have your names on the board and i was scanning through and i thought i cant find my name anywhere. Its as you misspelled and i was looking for this massive typo. And i looked through, and i scanned again, and i saw a board that just said, shelly ronan. And i said, thats me. Shelly it is. I miss going into a room and begging them to hire me. Stephen really . You miss auditions. Because i was a young actor at one point, and auditions are terrible. I love them stephen really . Yes stephen about let me give u i havent been one to a while, right. Stephen great, thanks, is it susan. Its sarah. Stephen that was great, that was wonderful. Id like to go again. Stephen i think we got it. Id like to go again. Stephen you made some really, so super specific choices. Im not leaving. Stephen really, great . Hold on one second. Security. cheers and applause if youre allergic to any of its ingredients, or have a certain gene variation. Serious or fatal allergic reactions have occurred with triumeq and other abacavir containing medicines. Symptoms may include fever, rash, nausea, and vomiting. For a full list, see the warning card that comes with your medicine. If you have an allergic reaction, dont take triumeq. Or the medicines in it again. Dont take triumeq if you take dofetilide or have liver problems. Serious side effects include lactic acid buildup, heart attack, or liver problems. If youre female, obese, or take nucleoside analogues, you may be at greater risk. If you have hepatitis b or c, it may get worse. Tell your doctor if you have liver, kidney, or heart problems, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, or hepatitis b or c, if you smoke, drink alcohol or if you are, or planning to be, pregnant or breastfeeding. Some medicines may interact with triumeq, so tell your doctor about any medicines or supplements you take. The most common side effects include trouble sleeping, headache, and tiredness. Im moving forward. With triumeq. To learn more, get this free kit at positivestepskit. Com. And ask your doctor late show. Join me next week when ill be joined by matt damon, tom hanks, and jodi foster. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from michigan, michigan, give it up f y