[ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much. Thanks [ cheers and applause youre too cool. I love you i love you i love you i love yease have a seat welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. You made it is ths it [ cheers and applause guys, it is summer and here in new york cy, its actually supposed to be in the high 80s, low 90s, and humid all week for the fiveday forecast in the local news, instead of showing the sun they just usedmo five middle finger e steve really [ laughter ] jimmy this is very exciting were just one day away from the very first democratic president ial debate, and its right here on nbc. Thats a big deal. [ cheers and applause we we are doing live shows e after thbates. Thats how excited we are. And i love that its on nbc cause we do things a little differently. I mean, any time our moderators like what they hear, they press a button, and their chair spins around [ laughter ] its gonna be fun on nbc you know the debates on nbc cause its set, now, in chicago. [ laughter ] you know its on nbc cause this is the sound they play anytime a candidate keeps talking past their time thats it. [ laughter ] thats [ cheers and applause tomorrow is the first two debates, and we get to see ten candidates doing in the polls, thoserre to center stage you get to stand. So Elizabeth Warren and beto orourke will be in the middle, while bill de blasio will be watching from home in his living room. Steve oh [ laughter ] wow. [ laughter ] jimmy that was good. D i woin my chair around if i said that. [ laughter ] thats rightam t tomorrow the big nes are Elizabeth Warren and beto orourke. If things go well for warren, she might catch biden in the polls. Go if things ell for beto, abc might make him the bachelor. So thats exciting [ laughter ] but it should be interestis , cause the debatee a first chance for voters to get to know the candidates. Take a look atbeverybody whos gonnhere yeah that looks like the lamest episode of the brady bunch ever [ laughter ] h alice. Steve sams dead. Jimmy oh my gosh. [ laughter ] steve he ate too much meat he had a coronary. Immy oh steve marcia, marcia, marcia. Jimmy explains that, wow [ laughter ] meanwhile, heres a big story from the white house today we found out the replacement for Sarah Huckabee sanders will be a woman named stephanie grisham. It was a lovely ceremony today when sarah handed stephanie the keys to the liquor cabineter she was like, he, youre gonna [ laughter ] youre gonna need this trust me dont lose it. [ laughter ] well, things are getting ugly between the u. S. And iran. I guess after iran insulted him today, trump tweeted, irans very ignorant and insulting statement, put out today, only shows that they li not understand rea. Trump was like, no one understand reality better than your reality star president. [ laughter ] trust me. He then went on to tweet oany attack by irananything american will be met with great and overwhelming force in some areas, overwhelming will mean obliteration. En iran was like, okay, who gave trump a thesaurus [ laughter ] all right, come on be honest. Who did it . Ws heres some rom overseas i saw that Meghan Markle recently upgraded her engagement ring. Yep, t diamond look bigger than before some people are pretty divided about it, tt what do you thiniqst tariq hone, i dont understand why anyone would want to change a good thing once they have it. Tariq i mean, we ce so focused on material possessions these ys jimmy thats great, i know what you mean. I mean, sometimes it feels like upgrading to the bigger thing, or the shinier thing rather than focusing on what matters most i mean, whatever happened to just loving what you already have you knowi tariq uldnt agree more, jimmy. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i mean, objects objects can only bring you so much happiness. Jimmy thats a great point i mean, life shouldnt be about who has what, or whos wearing who, or how much does something cost if rabbit hole, i dont know where its gonna lead us tariq its a scary thought [ laughter ] s itsry thought, man, but hey, at least we always keep each other in check. Jimmy that we do, pal. [ laughter ] that we do you know, im lucky that i have someone like you whos so down to earth you know youre there by my side whenever i need you, and i dont know if i say thisyo enough, bukeep me grounded tariq thats my job, jimmy [ laughter and applause ths my job. [ cheers and applause jimmy my best friend right there. Tariq trotter, everyone. [ cheers and applause and finally, get this. A new study found that Drinking Coffee can help burn fat america was like, great, ill have two mocha frappuccinos with whipped cream and sprinkles. [ laughter ] h wee a great show tonight [ cheers and applause give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, we have a great show tonight trevor noah is here. [ cheers and applause Sebastian Maniscalco is here [ cheers and applause and we have magic with penn teller. [ cheers and applause oh my goodness they have a new game, a vr game its really, really cool and guys, be sure to tune in night. Ight, and thursday its a big deal here at nbc because we are airing the debates on our network, and the tonight show is following them so were going live. So tomorrow night [ cheers and applause tomorrow night we have daisridley [ cheers and applause we have little big town. [ cheers and applause ar a special appece by the cast of stranger things. [ cheers and applause well do something fun with them we love themy and on thursda on thursday, this is giant for us, we love here she has a new song out called megatron. The one and only, nicki minaj is here ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause hey [ cheers and applause jmy nicki la [ cheers and appuse no, no, no theres a mix up what . Jimmy theres a mix up what happen jimmyere was a mix up no, i was just i wasnt introducing you i just i was just saying well, you said my name, i mean, and im here jimmy yeah, no, i know so i came out [ cheers and applause jimmy youre whats the problem . Im j no, it wasnt an intro. Youre coming on thursday, and todays tuesday. So, i was just saying that oh my god are you serious . Jimmy yeah, yeah im supposed toe here on thursday jimmy thursday, not tuesday. Oh no jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah sorry about that i apologize. Alright, im sorry you guysll weill see you on thursday jimmy oh yeah, perfect [ cheers and applause nicki minaj everybody. [ cheers and applause wow, thats amazing. I didnt know i could just introduce people, and theyll come out [ cheers and applause nicki minaj. [ cheers and applause i didnt know i had the power to do that we are going to talk about her new song, megatron. Debuted number one on apple itunes its great stream it. Call your dj ask them to play it. Its so good. And were going to do Something Special with nicki. I should have just kept talking to here while she was here, but were going to do Something Special thursday night were going to dinner at red lobster. [ laughter ] ive never eaten at red lobster. St i jui dont know why i just missed that part of my life, but and nicki, last time she was here, talked she worked at red lobster and was fired from red lobster [ laughter ] they fired megatron. So, were going to go back to red lobster, and have a meal together, d d laugh, and talk, s going to be fun so check it out, thursday night. Its going ot be great [ cheers and applause guyst it is time for our lates installment of tonight show polls. Here we go [ cheers and applause tonight sho polls jimmy this first poll asks, how excited are you for the debates . 25 said, excited. [ light laughter ] 74 said, not very excited. [ light laughter ] beto orourke said, so freaking excited, man. I love debates, and god i love polls. The north pole, south pole, fishing poles. Wait, what was the question again . [ laughter and applause this poll asked, are you excited for the u. S. Womens soccer team to play france on friday . 50 said, yes, and 50 said, oui. [ laughter ] next they asked, how would you describe the new hbo series euphoria . 99 said, lets just sa theres a lot of male nudity. President trump said, sou could also say, ocked and loaded. Steve oh [ laughter ] really he said that jimmy according to poll steve wow. Jimmy this next one steve talk about poles jimmy yeah [ laughter ] well he probably asked his staff. Steve he got debriefed yeah [ laughter ] [ applause ] this next one asked, what movie are you gonna see this weekend . 40 said, annabelle comes home. 35 said, toy story 4. 25 said, childs play. And 100 said, e y the hell are ther many movies about dolls coming to life right now . [ laughter and applause next poll asks, do you bring noise cancelling headphones with you on airplanes . said, yes. 40 said, no. 20 said, are you asking me something . I cant hear you because im wearing these headphones. [ laughter and applause next they asked, are you a morning person . 80 said, yes. 20 said, shut up. [ laughter ] last poll asked, who are you rooting for in the democratic debates this week . 7 said joe biden. 7 sd Bernie Sanders 6 said Elizabeth Warren and 80 said, whoever can invent a time machine to take us all to november 2020. [ laughter and applause he thats all t time we have for tonight show polls well be right back with trevor noah, everybody [ cheers and applause [sfx bottle opening] [sfx tires reeching] [sfx bottle opening] {sfx neighing] [sfx splash] ah [sfx bottle opening] ahhhh pringles wavy. With a big new crunch and totally different flavors, theyre not really pringles. Just like thats not really daddy. Yes it is. Ok. New pringles wavy. Theyre not, not pringles. Hashtag vacay. Sonoma . I want wine with lunch. Its 11am, cindy. Thanks, captain obvious. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com d get rewarded basicallyerywher. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. This is u shopping. And this is you maximizing at t. J. Maxx. Get more of the brands you love and quality you want, and save every time. Its not shopping, its maximizing. Maxx life at t. J. Maxx. Ooohhhh here are even more reasons to join tmobile. Do you like netflix . Here are sure you do. Asons to join tmobile. S. Ats why its on u 2. Unlimited data. 3. No surprises on your bill. When you want. Taxes and fees included. Still think you have a better deal bring in your discount, and well match it. Thats right. [ cheers and applause rs jimmy our figuest hosts the daily show and hes also currently on the road performing standup on his loud and clear tour 2019 for tickets, go to trevornoah. Com please welcome the always entertaining, trevor noah. [ cheers and applause my jimoh, my goodness. Wereove you when you come he thank you for coming on, pal a you kidding thank you for having me, man this is amazing. Jimmy we love you here and congrats on the cover. Hollywood reporter. Thank you very much thank you so much. Jimmy the busiest man in i agree. Thank you very much [ cheers and applause itas fun, because, like, i feel like we are always on this journey together you on the cover of variety, im on the cover of hollywood like, were just doing covers together t we do tv showsether. Jimmy the cover boys, man. Come on. Why not . Yeah, its like, best friends. I love this. Jimmy how is the standup going . G youreng all over the world. Im yeah, man. Im having a ton of fun. You know, im ive kicked off the loud and clear tour. And what i love is i tour on the weekends you know, just to take a break from doing the tv show jimmy yeah and so, ill go on the roadan you know, like two weekends ago i was in canada, in vancouver amazing shows out there. Had a great time out there jimmy were you there when the raptors won . Ias there the weekend afterwards canadians are losing their minds. Jimmy yeah [ light laughter ] they never thought this would happen ever. Yeah, but theyre also not it even makinike toronto won. Theyre just like, canada [ laughter ] jimmy we own basketball yeah, like, in classic canadian fashione its leyre like hardcore, but then also apologetic theyre like aahh, but im sorry you lost. [ ughter ] you know what i mean jimmy its perfect theyre still nice about it but they are super excited and then this weekend, for instance, i was in fayetteville, i was in arkansas and then i was in houston, texas yeah 91 degrees fahrenheit. A hundred degrees a hundred humidity 0 humidity. Jimmy no, no, no, no ive never felt anything like that in my life jimmy thats like living in a ziploc bag yeah, no. [ laughter ] jimmy no, i kndo t know what that is. Im sorry im from africa, but that [ bleep ] was too much [ laughter ] no jimmy thats crazy you say you slipped jus now. You said, yeah, when im on break, you know, i go on tour. Thats like, thats not break. Ve performing standup comedye i i love live audiences. Also, like, its a break from the news i can do whatever i wa you know, its not necessarily gonna be about politics. Jimmy like, say youre in houston, what do you do . Complain about the weather, first of allli [ t laughter ] jimmy yeah spend a lot of time complaining about the weather. But then you have like, for instancei got to go to nasa. Do you know how insane that was . Jimmy really literally, i got a tour of nasa and they, like, walked me around they showed me the rockets and, jimmy for the show or just for you . No, just for me jimmy wow. [ light laughter ] they were just, like, come and walk around. Jimmy i dont do anything orthats not the show anyme. No yeah, you gotta do it. Just for you and then they just walk down and they show you, like, this is where the astronauts train. And theyre like, these areou the buttons, dont t. Then i touched them. Hes like, dont touch them. And then i touched them and then [ laughter ] jimmy youll never be allowed back and then, this is the best partak i got to so astronauts in space right now. Like, they gave me a telephone and then, like, you can talk to them in space. Jimmy they must have freaked. They must have loved that. Yeah, i kept the telephone. I like ug [ laer ] jimmy well talk to them later. Yeah, well give them a call later. No, but it was amazing. Speaking to people in space. Like, th tell you weird things for instance, male astronauts are suffering this strange symptom where if they stay in space for a certain amnt of months, their eyes change shape and, like, can sometimes, like, pop sort of out their head. But it only happens it only happens to the men and, like, so i asked them i was, like, hey, whats happening with your eyes . And it was the funniest thing. All the women astronauts are t like, ots a man problem. [ laughter ] jimmy wow. So their eyes just bug out its like, yeah, your eyes just change shapesn, if youre a n space, your eyes change. Jimmy you look like a simpsons character [ laughter ]o sats fun i get to do that on the weekends i meet people and then i come home and then i chill, do a podcast and then get ready for the sh immy but thats interesting. Because i was just listening to your podcast because you just had guy raz on and he was talking about right, right. Jimmy he has a pcast on the same thing is it lumin yeah, on luminary jimmy luminary like, its just fun i just talk about you know what it is . Theres so many things that happen in the news that we try to process in the moment and i feel like, as human beings, weve lost the ability or are ling the ability to engage you know, how do you engage in a topic thats sensitive how do you talk about issues that are biggethan us, that cant be handled in, like, fiveminute sound bites . Jimmy yeah and we donymwant to do that ane. We want to deal in tweets. What tweets how do you feel in a tweet jimmy faster its like, yeah, but maybe i cant give you my completeid s in a tweet and maybe i wont engage with you in a civil manner in a a tweet. And so i try and do that on the podcast. I sit down, i go, whats the issue . Is it immigration . T lets just talk abou immigration as a whole forget politics, lets just talk about immigration how it came to be, what it means, talk about it, relax. Chill out. Kn you , its a sunday. Just relax, jimmy. Jimmy yeah just chill, man jimmy just chill out yeah, no tweet policy thats all it is jimmy but i think u do a a great job of that with the daily show as well oh, thank you i try, man i really try thank you very much. Jimmy you do you do your jokes, but you alsos have discussnd you have longer jokes things that actually arent jokes. Theyre actually good points yeah, well, i mean, i thinkho wed be trying to do that i think, honestly, as people like, we shouldnt be looking at arguments and politics as win or lose. It should be look we should looking at it as learn, inform, and then move forward. But now, like, you know what i mean every argument is, i won that argument. Youre not supposed to win an argument youre supposed to come out informed like, we had the argument like, you know whoseally good about this, funny enough . People who fight like actual fighters jimmy yeah like, ufc fighters, theyll like, fight each other in training and then afterwards, theyll be like, that was good. [ laughter ] theyre like, i learned new things when i rolled with you, my friend. [ laughter ] jimmy then his eyeballs are sticking out like sticking out of his face. [ laughter ] the guy is like, yeah, you now taught me how not to get puhed. I will remember that next time. Jimmy i will remember that, yeah. And then the rest of us in society, were not fighting, and were just like, you tweeted this at me [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, like, stop we need to be more like ufc fighters, is what im saying immy what is the name of the podcast . Its called second thoughts with trevor noah. Jimmy second thoughts, thats whats its called. Yeah. Ta a second, you know . Jimmy you have the debates are tomorrow and thursday you are going live were all going live. Jimmy im going live as yeah. Jimmy were all going live were all going live. Jimmy do you like doing live i it depends heres the thing live debates, we dont know whats going to good and bad thing, right . I mean, it depends whos on the stage. It could be super exciting or it could just be, like jimmyring like, super boring. Jimmy yeah and then now you are live jimmy now you have no joke [ light laughter ] like, now what do we do . Now, youreust, like, well, that happened. Jimmy that happened, so, all right. Yeah, were live. I guess we all experienced it live. Jimmy yes. Can we talk about an old tweet like, you know whats exciting is, ke, the energy so, like, the people come out and you know what it feels like people come to the show. And, you know whats great about the daily show is, because we live in the world of politicslm its like the cuation of a a story. So, like, now, the stages have been set you know, its cory booker and you got joe biden and how is their thing going to end . Is it going to be a love affair or does it end in another fight . You Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders competing with Free College Plans jimmy free college, yeah you know, like, everyone its i feel like this is a culmination of atory we have been telling for a while. Jimmy yeah so, im excited for the live shows. Jimmy its kind of good, i think, for us, too, because its a Little Something different. O yeah. Just a little bit. Jimmy its just new characters ten people on a debate stage. And thats one night jimmy thats one night its going to be exciting everyone has, like, what 60 seconds to make their point jimmy how . What do you think about this jimmy thats enough. Thats enough out of you [ laughter ] you know what they should do everyone should just, like, add one word to it like those improv gamesht [ laug ] thats how they should do it jimmy i, think, that yeah, they should just do it like that. So it would be, like be like, senator, what do thu k we should do about education . Jimmy well we. Jimmy think. We. Jimmy know how jimmy toak m jimmy it better [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause thats what they should do. Jimmy trevor noah, everybody. Go and see him on his loud and clear tour 2019 [ cheers and applause or trnd i are playing wheel of political impressions when we come right back stick around [ cheers and applause your sli shed was struck by ghtning. Zachary, is my she shed covered by state farm . Your she sheds covered, cheryl. You hear that victor . Sh im getting a new yourshier she shed. Red, cheryl. She shier . Mh. Thats wonderful news. Home insurance trusted by more people than any other. State farm. 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Crafting every experience for our guests with the same level of care we craft our vehicles. Thats what makes lexus, lexus. Experience amazier at your lexus deal. For aunt trudys7th yeah, its definitely a flat. [man in safety vest] they said youll never make it. The kids are too wild, and the cars seen too many miles. tire iron clanging woman sighing hang on. But you know youll get there because you have aaa. Okay, thanks so much. Well see you soon. And when your tire goes flat, we change it, and when you need a jump, we jump to it. So you can rest assured that the countrys most highlyrecommended roadside assistance wont let anything come between you and the family event othe year. P. S. , happy birthday, trudy. Sorry about the cake. Aaa, go ahead. [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back nowe are here with trevor , ladies and gentlemen [ cheers and applause lo now trevor, i you on daily show. One of my favorite things you do on the show is that now and then you throw out little es improns of people, which is rare for you because youre not really an impressionist. No, im not it jimmy but i thought be kind of fun, cause we do impressions all the time on the show oh, yes yes. Jimmy is if we played a game together forcesed it is time for wheel of political impressions. Here we go wheel o polical impressions [ applause ] jimmy now, here is how it works. Onm going to press this bu here, which activates the impression generator itll land on one random politician and one random topic. Oh wow. Jimmy you have to improvise. Okay, okay. Jimmy whoevers turn it is has to do an impression of that politician or political figure, and talk about what the topic is until we hear this sound. [ ring ] trevor, youre up first. Go ahead and press the button. Oh, okay. Oh, man. Alright. Jimmy you can look on the screen there barack obama ] [ laughter barack obama giving the sex talk okay, okay. Okay, first you got to get the thing. Uh, right this isnt going to be easy. But progress rarely is so listen up [ laughter ] uh, when a man loves a woman, sometimes he wants to [ laughter ]h, her economy now let me be clear let me be clear, im talking about consensual sex its completely natural, and uh, fun. [ ding ] jimmy thank you, dad [ applause ] wow. Wow thk you, dad you can go now this is so embarrassing, dad alright, this is that was fantastic its my turn here we go Bernie Sanders [ laughter ] oh yes. Jimmy a Dunkin Donuts drive thru ay Bernie Sanders, Dunkin Donuts drive thru alright. In welcome to dunk can i take your order . Hello, yes, i would id like a number seven. [ laughter ] im sorry sir, we dont do that here. Were a Dunkin Donuts. What do you sell . You sell donuts . We have donuts. We have coffee decan you please speak lou how much louder can i yell . [ laughter ] would you like a donut or a a coffee . I would not like a coffee i would like a cup of steamed milk [ laughter ] and make sure that its not 1 . Ding [ ding ] [ cheers and applause i dont know where to go from there. I was trying to get to 1 . Trevor, you are up here we go all right beto orourke. Jimmy beto orourke reading cereal box ingredients how does beto orourke even sound . Jimmy hes very, hes very into yeah, like i an i know he does oh, he holds the mic like a rapper i know that. [ laughter ] he holds it oh yeah, like, hes got this thing over her hes got a lot of energy all right, lets see what weve got. Weve got rice flour yes sugar, freaking yes. [ laughter ] flaxseeds, i was born to eat flaxseeds. Man, im passionate. Im passionate about fiber, yoys gu you know go eat cereal. Im beto orourke, and i approve of these miniwheats, everybody. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause jimmy there you go, wow. Thats all he is. Jimmy hes that excited. Thats all he is. Jimmy for this last one here should i go one more do we have te . All right, ill do one oh [ laughter ] Vladimir Putin reviewing childs play. E, the movi childs play. Okay let me say this, childs play is funniest movie ive ever seen in life. [ laughter ] i laugh so hard, i pee pants [ laughter ] someone was killed by the little doll, and it wasnt me who did that everyones looking at me, it wasnt me. It was the doll. Anyway, you should go see little chucky in toy ory 4. [ ding ] [ lauger and applause i cried. I cried so much. Cried laughingap [ ause ] the last one this is the last one this is it, lets make count. Jimmy alright, lets play with his one oh [ laughter and applause oh wow jimmy donald trump smoking weed for the first time. Smoking weed for the first time okay all right. Let me think smoking weed just get into e thing. Smoking weed for the first time so hes [ laughter ] jimmy oh my god. Wow. So amazing so amazing i can feel it. Jimmy oh my god. Hitting me. Jimmy oh my god. In all different places. [ laughter ] so many places are there two of us right now . Jimmy youre looking at yourself right now. [ laughter ] m ohgod. Jimmy its a pleasure to meet you. Its like its like im here. Jimmy its a pleasure its like im there, but im as well. Oh my god. Jimmy its an unbelievable thing. This is so crazy. Jimmy lets make spliffs big again. Thats what im ying. So amazing, make weed great again. Jimmy make weed great again. Make everything great again. [ knocking ]ho jimmy w is it who is it . U donald, are yooking weed in there again . [ laughter ] ic jimmy oh my gosh. Oh my gosh qu hide it. Donald, what did i tell about you smoking weed during the day . jimmym not smoking. I was going italian with this. I dont know why [ talking over each other jimmy alright, there we go thats it. Thats all the time we have for wheel of political impressions. [ cheers and applause give it up for trevor noah stick around well be right back. Jimmy dude this was so amazing. Jimmy so amazing. 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[ cheers and applause j my our next guest is a very, very funny comedian and actor and a bestselling author tonight, he is here to make un a big anment that you wont want to miss ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Sebastian Maniscalco [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness. Yo thank u for coming back to the show good to see you, buddy thanks for having me. Jimmy we have a big announcementonight but i think you will never get a bigger announcement than what happened to you on f hers day. Baby boy. Jimmy thats right, buddy. [ cheers and applause congratulations. Thats a big deal. Eating like a great whof hair. [ light laughter ] and you know, my wifes breastfeeding. I got a little daughr at home shes vying for the attention of my wifean i got nothing to do. So e [ light laughter jimmy you just threw a Big Birthday Party for her, your daughter i, uh yes, the first Birthday Party we had an alpaca at the house. [ laughter ] and this year jimmy how do you get into this its wife. Jimmy yeah shes like, she likes mermaids. So she contacted aermaid company. [ laughter ] and little tidbit on the mermaids jimmy yeahal its a la cart. So you get the mermaid [ light laughter ] but then they ask you, do you want a lifelike fin its going to be an extra cost. All right . [ light laughter ] she comes with a handler jimmy what because shes got a fin and she cant get into the pool. So theres a person that comes with her and they bring her in the yard on like a home depot cart. [ laughter ] and they just they dump her in the pool[ ughter ] jimmy we talked last time you were here. You were telling me about your dad, who is your biggest fan, tit also your toughest cri you were telling me the story about how you were watching you were at the Golden Globes . Or were you watching the Golden Globes with him yeah, i was watching the Golden Globes. jimmyu were in green book. I was in the movie green book. Jimmy congratulations on that thank you jimmy it was great was a big deal. [ cheers and applause great movie. I loved it thank you jimmy you were great in that you were watching with your dad and they end up winning the golden globe and your dad my dad was wondering why i wasnt at the Golden Globes. Jimmy he stands in front of the tv and starts yelling at you. Yeah, hes like, why arent you here . I go, well, dad, youve got to get invited. I wasnt invited. He goes, well, i hope were going to the oscars. I just let me know, soan take off work. I go, what do you mean we [ laughter ] i got a wife i am bnging her. Im not bringing you. He was upset that i wasnt going to bring him jimmy yeah i got, like a i didnt even i got a pity ticket to the oscars jim wait, you got invited to the . Thats big, though, right . Yeah, i was sitting in mezzaninthree. [ light laughter ] last row so my back was the back of the building right . Ug [ laer ] jimmy i wish he was joking he brought a photo this is his view from where he sat at the o [ laughter ] thats the stage [ applause ]tr [ sad ombone ] what is going through your mind what are you thinkin tabout when you arere the woman next to me, the show started and she was writing. I go, excuse me, what movie are you with . She goes, oh no, im writing a book report for my school. I was like with la hter ] i was with the seat fillers. So, im not going to lie i went to the bby. I had a couple of drinks and im trying to figure out if green book wins, how am i e . Going to get on stag [ light laughter ] so, im walking down i got a tus. Do on, tuxedo shoe im walking down the stairs. And poom now, i dont know el anybody has ever fl downstairs before [ lauger ] but theres a moment where you are like, is this going to happen . [ laughter ] im up this isnt three or four stairs h this is, like, i time [ laughter ] as im rolling down, im going, i cant believe [ laughter ] im in a tuxedo [ laughter ]sc at the os falling down stairs. I mean, like, im hearing people go, oh, my gosh [ laughter ]ul call anance jimmy wow. Wow. So, im in the lobby. The movie gets called. Im watching the tv. Everybody is on stage. You had, you know, craft you had [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, i get it everybody. Everybody 58 people on and my dads tex where are you . [ laughter ] im, like, im putting ice on my knees. [ laughter ] jimmy i fell down the stairsdad. T you have a big announcement that you are going to announce tonight. This is a big deal yes, yes. Ti i am hos the vmas 2019 [ cheers and applause jimmy hey, congratulations thats a big deal. Thank you jimmy thats a giant deal. Its huge its huge. Am i o excited. I know that you did it jimmy yeah, ive done that before in 2002, i think you did it te jimmy one of my favori yeah, actually, it was my dad again, he is like jimmy its mtv, its a big deal its huge but again, my family is negative right . So, he calls, he goes, you dont know nothing about music right . Like, todays music. Jimmy why is he mad at you i didnt really grow up with pop culture music. But i think this is going to be fun, because mtv wants kind of an unfiltered look of the vmas through my eyes. Jimmy you are going to be fantastic. I know [ laughter ] jimmy wait, what august 26th is when you are hosting. I gotta say, they couldnt have picked a better host oh, thank you jimmy you are going to be fantastic. Mtv actually sent over a little behind the scenes of you preparing for hosting the vmasow i want to his. Never before seen footage of sebastian prepping for his mtv vmas gig take a look at this. Babe, you are not going to believe this they asked me to host the 2019 vmas. Could you believe it do they know you know nothing about music . Babe, i grew up on mtv. Come on. Madonna, prince wham hey, robot, i dont know if you heard, but ive heen asked to host t vmas. What can you tell me about it . Are you sure they havent made a mistake yeah, im sure. Now, tell me the acts that are involved are you familiar with cardi b. What is that . A spice or a supplement . What about Billie Eilish . No, but cant wait to meet him. As soon as they announce the vmas, 3 million teenagers are going to search who the hell is Sebastian Maniscalco. Right . Its not that funny. [ laughter and applause jimmy Sebastian Maniscalco, everybody tune in to the vmas on august 26th on mtv you can also see him live this fall on the you bother me tour check out sebastianlive. Com for dates. Well be right back with magic from penn and teller cheers and applause my digestive system used to make me feel sluggish. But those days are or. Now i take metamucil every day. It naturally traps and removes the waste that weighs me down. So i feel. Lighter. L try metamucid begin to feel what lighter feels like. Introducing new metamucil premium blend, swee ned with stevia and made with allnatural flavors and colors. Its a delicious way to get your daily dose of fiber. Try it today. [ cheers and applause jimmy our next guests are one of the biggest acts in vegas. You can currently see them monday nights at 8 00 p. M. On the cw show, penn teller fool us. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for penn teller [ cheers and applause thank you so much for being here thanks for having us. Jimmy for coming back to the show thank you, thank you. Jimmy congrats, season six just kicked off yep jimmy of pe teller fool us. Can you explain whats different this season . Anything well we did something crazy this season. You know, we always sit in the seats. Were the judges best magicians in the world come out they do a trick for us, and if we can figure it out, they dont win. If we cant, they do win but we try to do something that no one else had ever done on one of these shows, which is we reverse the positi and we went on our own show to see if we could fool the greatest magician in the world, David Copperfield. Im do we know do we wanna say what David Copperfield thought . I do know what happened, but im not going to tell you. Jimmy okay, perfect. Keep watching ll jimmy but, also, im r excited about the vr game. I want to talk about this. This is oh there it is. Right there. Penn teller, what is the title . The exact title, its a very long name. It the t of it is penn teller vr frankly unfair, unkind, unnecessary, and underhanded. Now that abbreviates to penn teller f, u, u, u, u, and u. [ laughter ] jimmy very perfect, yeah genius [ laughter and applause and thats the idea you know, youre putting on the vr helmet. Jimmy yeah, tell everybody because i think this is genius you bring your friend over. You say, i got this new vr setup. You put the vr helmet on, and then youve got someone n your house who casee, and cant hear, and thinks theyre just watching tv. Jimmy yeah so, you can do anything to them you can cover them with spiders, steal money from them, cheat them in every way possible so its a way to use your vr setup to make your friends look like idiots. Jimmy thats what im talking about. What could be better . Jimmy thats what i want [ applause ] , sony playstation, oculusbe you can get it anywhere. Im psyched about that, because ive been playing with the oculus, and this is gonna be my new jam. Doing for us tonightk are you were gonna do a thing for you thats gonna compare juggling and magic, cause i started out as a juggler and i thought that all arts, all show business, all everything was just practice i prac teller started out as a magician [ laughter ] jimmy wow, oh my goodness. So people think the g difference between juggld magic is the props, but its not. Its philosophical juggling is done with really hard work, and magic is done by lying. So im going to do a juggling trick, and then teller wl do a magic trick. I have a deck of car these are tallyho cards i learned the card trick with these cards. So i have to do it with these cards because the exact texture, and the weight of them is right im doing a thing called weighing the cards its a very difficult juggling trick. All you got to do jimmy is just cut those cards, and make it hard for me. Cut halfway, or a little bit more just cut them. Make sure theres no crimps, nothing. Im not trying to get you to cut anywhere cut wherever you want. Right there. Ion on my ha about half, a little bit more, yeah put it right there in my hand. Jimmy okay, perfect. The next card, nt look at it, dont let teller see it, no one see it slip it into your pocket right there. Jimmy okay ck just slip it into your , yeah jimmy okay okay. Eyes i want you to look in my im not looking at the edges, im not using my thumb or nothing. Jimmy nothing. Im just telling just like this. Jimmy im looking at your eyes i can tell you that there are 27 cards there now the challenge is going to go to you, jimmy because, you are now going to count to 27 righd there, face up, anke it interesting. Count right there. On jimmy two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27 cards do not applaud la [ cheers and ae dont applaud do not applaud jimmy let them applaud dont applaud dont applaud. Remember in your heart the awe you felt at seeing that astonishing skill. Just hold that right there [ light laughter ] okay, thats the juggling. Jimmy okay now, teller is going to do the magic, okay . Jimmy okay now, teller is going to take you just saw what i did, all done with skill what i did was very, very difficult. Which means it was done with a a lot of skill what tellers gonna do is impossiblewh h means it can only be done by lying, cheating, and swindling. Hes got a giant deck ards i want you to watch this right here now one card is going to rise out of here. The rose tellers using jimmy uhhuh its doing nothing. Jimmy okay more important than that, teller is doing nothing. This is a trick you buy. Theres no skill required. But the nine of hearts has risen from the middle of the deck now jimmy, i want you to notice, you saw that all these cards were different i want you to see that all these are different. Jimmy yes. I dont need to point out to you that teller didnt come near this deck jimmy of course. You did not feel like you were cutting any special place we didnt set up anything, tell there was no crimp jmy thats true. You pulled one card out of the middle of all these different cards, put it in your pocket jimmy thats correct right now, jimmy, reach into your pocket, pull out the card, tell us what it isenshow it to the audi jimmy oh my gosh its the nine of hearts. Do not applaud [ cheers and applause do not applaud do not applaud jimmy let them applaud but hold [ laughter ] hold in your heart what it felt like to be cheated [ laughter ] n jimmy youre picking o them now, were gonna vote and in this one case, your vote does count jimmy ok first, by applause. Jimmy i got that were going to decide how many of you liked the juggling when you applaud for the juggling, youre not just applauding for me. Youre also applauding for jimmys counting, and the American Work ethic [ laughter ] that we all share, except for teller jimmy yeah, w. Who liked the juggling . [ cheers and applause jimmy im sorry, buddy and now, when you applaud for the magic, keep in mind, youre not just applauding for teller, but youre alsen condoning, indeed uraging, lying, cheating, swindling, and stealing who liked the magic . [ cheers and applause and that and that, jimmy jimmy yes. Is why i quit juggling, and became a magician. There you have it right there. Jimmy thats exactly right penn teller, everybody [ cheers and applause penn teller fool us airs monday nights at 8 00 p. M. On the cw my thanks to trevor noah, Sebastian Maniscalco, nicki minaj, penn teller, and the roots right there. [ cheers and applause stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching have a great night i hope to see you tomo[ ow eers and applause announcer pfrom 30 rockefellerza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight tom holland,e from the secret lifof pets 2, actress and comedian jenny slate, music from soak, featuring the 8g band with jon wurster. [ cheers and applause en ladies and gtlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause seth good evening, im seth meyers. This is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause that is fantastic to hear. In that case, lets get to the news according to a new poll, the coerroversy surrounding form Vice President joe bidens recent comments about working