What are you going as . The problem with that is, little kids change their minds every 11 seconds. You can order a paw patrol costume and then she wants to go as mcstuffins. I have two older kids so i know this. But my wife didnt. So the other day she asked our daughter jane, what do you want to be . And she said i dont want to be a princess for halloween. I want to be wonder woman. I need a cape. Now first of all, no one ever mentioned being a princess. I have no idea where she got that. And even though he wonder woman does not wear a cape, we were excited. Because you know, wonder woman is tough. We ordered the costume on amazon and four seconds later it arrives at our house. [ laughter ] we open the box and you know, we showed it to her. Heres your wonder woman costume. Do you want to try it on . She said no, i dont wonder. Im not wonder woman. Im jane. I dont wonder. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now were wondering what the hell were going to do for a costume. My older daughter katie, when she was about 7, she went as a door for halloween. I made her a door costume with a knob and everything. The neighbors would open the door and see another door. [ laughter ] that was a good costume. Meanwhile in other toddler news, President Trump continues to [ laughter ] to feud publicly with his own secretary of state. Last week we learned that Rex Tillerson, secretary of state, referred to trump as a quote fing moron behind his back. Trump tweeted the story was false. Clearly this is still eating at the president. This morning in a new interview with Forbes Magazine they asked him about it. He said, i think its fake news, but if he did that i guess well have to compare iq tests, and i can tell you whos going to rin. Rex tillerson, right . [ applause ] it has to be him. No intelligent person would get into an i. Q. Contest with his own secretary of state, right . Just that rules you out right there. At this point im not sure donald trump could finish the maze on the back of a dennys kids menu. [ laughter ] do you think hes ever even taken an i. Q. Test . I would definitely order pay per view, id pay 100 to watch Rex Tillerson and donald trump take iq tests against each other. [ laughter ] make no mistake. And i guarantee the next day, Kellyanne Conway would be saying that iq tests are like golf, the lower the number the better the score. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] its just one of many battles. The nfl, trump is fighting with bob corker, the republican senator. Today he tweeted the failing New York Times set little bob corker up by recording his conversation was made to sound a fool and thats what i am dealing with. All right, listen. If you dont know how to spell little, dont start an i. Q. Battle with anybody. [ laughter ] trump and Rex Tillerson had lunch today which im sure was a lot of fun. You have to cut the president some slack. He is very smart. The reason i know this is because he says it over and over again. Is donald trump an intellectual . Trust me. Im like a smart person. Number one. Im not stupid. I can tell you that right now. Just the opposite. And i was a good student. I understand things. I comprehend very well. Okay . Better than, i think, almost anybody. Im a very smart person. I went to the best school. I went to an ivy league school. I am very highly educated. I know words. I had the best words. Putin did call me a genius. People say im the super genius of all time. The super genius of all time. Im really smart. Im smart. Im like a smart person. Im like a really smart person. Im a smart person. Im a big thinker. Im a man of great common sense. Im one of the smartest people anywhere in the world. Jimmy and also one of the most humble people in all the world. [ laughter ] [ applause ] somebody please tell him hes smart already. This is an unsettling and terrifying item. A company in london, a Broadband Company worked with an evolutionary biologist to figure out what the human hand would look like if it evolved around a smartphone. In other words, what if our hands adapt to make it easier to text and whatnot. This is what they came up with. The human hand. Can you imagine hitchhiking with that hand . [ laughter ] a pointy index finger for better navigation, pads on the middle and ring finger forth grip, a crooked thumb and pinky, and an indented palm so the phone can rest on it. The least believable thing is the smartwatch. Nobody would be wearing those in the future. I feel like our hands should at least be fatter, right . And by the way if after all these years, mens hands still havent adapt to masturbation, i dont think the smartphone will get there first. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we have a strong show tonight with vance joy and Whitney Cummings, and thor himself Chris Hemsworth is here. [ cheers and applause ] gee mario. Its very special, in honor of thor being here guillermo got hammered before the show, is that right . Guillermo thats right, yeah. Jimmy the premiere for thor crash ragnarok is right across the street tonight. We have an exclusive clip from the movie to show you. It is a big day for nerds. Last night during monday night football, a new trailer for the new star wars movie was released. And they even had storm troopers on the field. At first i thought the president sent them in to crack down on the protests. [ laughter ] but it turned out it was just corporate synergy, so we dodged a laser there. They did this in an interesting way. Tickets for star wars went on sale right after the trailer finished. And unfortunately, if you didnt get them last night, youre too late. It is completely sold out forever. Youll have to wait to see it on tbs or something. The new movie is called star wars the last jedi. It is not technically a sequel. Rogue one a star wars story. That was a prequel to star wars a new hope. The last jedi is a sequel to the the force awakens which its is a sequel to oh, you dont care . [ laughter ] anyway, the new trailer has lots of action. The thing everybody seems to be going nuts over are the porgs. Have you seen the porgs . These are cute Little Creatures that live on the island Luke Skywalker has been hiding on and theyre the toy well be beating other people over the head for at target this christmas. [ laughter ] in the trailer, you couldnt make out what the porg was saying. But because disney owns abc, we were able to get the enhanced audio and i think youre going to like it. Yeah, boy jimmy thats right. Thats the porg. Porg. How they come up with these names, i dont know. Im sure porg will become part of our lives like ewok and kanye and wookiee and all those. This is a huge phenomenon online. We went on the street today one night after the trailer premiere and asked people, have you looked at porg . Do you look at porg . No. Youre sure . Okay, yes. What kind of porg have you watched . Mixed. Do you remember the first time you saw porg . No, i dont. It was so long ago. You remember. How old were you the first time you saw porg . If i had to recall, i was probably 12. Have you ever cleared your browsing history to make it look like you werent watching porg . Yes. What kind of genres of porg do you like . Hot guys in general. What was the porg you watched this morning . You know, black women, you know, sometimes a little bbw, depending what i have for breakfast, you know. How many times a week would you say you look at porg . Three or four times. Have you ever watched porg . Yes, i have, once or twice. I feel like ill watching it right now. You do . Okay. In 3d . Actually, my friend in high school was in porno. Besides that, no. What was her porg about . She did it for 500 because she likes sex and she loves money. Thats the only porno ive ever seen. How does sex and money have to do with porg . Because you have sex for money. Wait, porg has sex for money . Pork . Porg. What are you talking about . Ha ha. [ bleep ]. Jimmy so its popular. Very popular. One thing i want to mention. Frank sinatras former manager, a gentleman named elliott weissman, just wrote a back called the way it was my life with Frank Sinatra. In it he tells a story of the Heated ExchangeFrank Sinatra had in 1990 with a casino owner named donald trump. The story goes weissman was working on a deal for sinatra to do 12 shows to open trumps casino, the taj mahal in atlantic city. One of trumps employees this guy weissman was working with died in a helicopter crash. Since the deal hadnt been finalized yet, trump brought weissman back in to try to renegotiate the terms, to try to pay sinatra less than agreed upon. When frank heard the new lower offer, wiseman said he told trump to go f himself and even offered his personal phone number in case trump wanted to hear that directly from him. Its amazing. People are rising from the dead to curse at donald trump. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i dont know if the story is true but it does come from a reliable source. If only there was a way to verify whether or not this really happened. Like if there was some sort of doobie doobie jimmy whoa jimbo are you looking for me . Im ready to ring a ding ding baby jimmy the ghost of Frank Sinatra. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Jimmy wow. Youre damn right. You tell me what do you need, jimbo . Im busy banging ghost broads. Jimmy i wanted to ask you about the story of donald trump. Oh, that guy. He is a doobie doobie douche bag. Jimmy is it true you told him to go f himself . I sure did. And i was just getting started. Jimmy really what else did you tell him . What else did i tell him . Allow me to elaucidaelucidate,. I said to him [ bleep ] you to the moon ill stick my boot right up your ass grab you by the [ bleep ] you pumpkin with no class in other words kiss my balls in other words youre a loser [ bleep ] you to the moon id like to sock you in the snout if you were on fire i wouldnt pee to put you out in other words youre a chump in other words fu trump go with my pal Louis Armstrong [ cheers and applause ] in other words youre doggy doo in other words [ bleep ] you [ cheers and applause ] yeah, [ bleep ] you, donald trump jimmy Frank Sinatra and Louis Armstrong i never thought donald trump could be so topical. There they go, right back up to heaven, how about that. Were going to take a break. Chris hems worth is here when we come back, well be right back [ cheers and applause ] man proper etiquette is essential for every social occasion. So the the broom said, sorry im late. I overswept. [ laughter ] yes, even the awkward among us deserve some laughter. And while its okay to nibble in public, a lady only dines in private. Try the name your price tool from progressive. It gives you options based on your budget. Uhoh. Discussing finances is a big nono. What, im helping her save money shh men are talking. Thats it, im out. Taking the meatballs. Thats it, im out. I got it from the same place i bought your present from last year. Its the thing from the link you sent us. And the year before. I found the perfect gift for you. But it wouldnt ship in time. So i just. Texted you a photo. I bought it with one click. I included a gift receipt. Its the thought that counts . Dont shop like everybody else. This year shop ebay for brand new, nearly new, and totally you gifts. At tmobile, when you holiday together, great things come in twos. Right now when you buy any of this seasons hot new Samsung Galaxy phones, you get a second one free to gift. Thats one samsung for you. One to give. Tmobile. Holiday twogether. Feel the power of thenew power. Smax. To fight back theraflus powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms. Fast. So you can play on. Theraflu expressmax. New power. [ ]. [ ] hurry in to old navy and get forty percent off your entire purchase or fifty percent off when you use or open an Old Navy Card through sunday at old navy. Jimmy hello and welcome back to the show. Tonight, a very funny woman and author of this new book called im fine and other lies Whitney Cummings is here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and here we go. This is his latest single. A big single. It seems unnecessary that a single would be this big, doesnt it . [ laughter ] the songs called lay it on me. Vance joy from the mercedesbenz stage. [ cheers and applause ] really long. A very long song. Tomorrow night our guests are rene zellweger, mark maran. Well have music from sir rosevelt. Next week well be in brooklyn, new york, for a full week of shows from Brooklyn Academy of music. Sadly we have no tickets left. We had 10,000 tickets, 2,000 each night, and more than 100,000 ticket requests. If you do have tickets, our guests will be amy schumer, howard stern, david letterman, tracy morgan, woody harrelson, Arnold Schwarzenegger will be with us, billy joel will be with us, cardi b, lcd sound system, and more. So please join us for all those shows next week. Our first guest is the god of thunder down under who you can Battle Alongside his buddy the hulk in thor ragnarok which opens in theaters across all nine realms on november 3rd. Please welcome Chris Hemsworth [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hows it going . I like this suit. Very hulk. Homage to hulk. I love it. Jimmy its the hulling and loki combined. Or the riddler. Jimmy oldschool riddler. I have a riddler audition after this. Jimmy are you allowed as a marvel hero to even consider being part of the dc universe . It depends on the cost. Jimmy it depends how much they pay you, so the answer is yes. By the way, i saw the movie last night. This might be the best marvel movie of all of them. Oh, thank you. Jimmy i dont know how they keep doing it. Its unbelievable. Its our director. Jimmy he did such a great job with this movie. Yeah. We all had i think the same sort of wanton need and passion to change this up in a big way. I remember meeting with him early in the process and he said, lets just break everything we know. And destroy it and rebuild it. Jimmy like the hotel room . [ laughter ] first the hotel room. Then the set. And then the character. And then every day was about exploring the unknown and trying something different. I got pretty bored of myself as that character. And so did he. Maybe a few people out there. So we thought, lets do something different. And every day was improvised and a journey. Jimmy was thor getting a haircut part of that conversation . It was. Partly due to i didnt want to spend two hours a day putting hair and a wig on. Jimmy you also shot it in australia. Was that planned in advance or you said hey, i live in australia. You now need to bring the movie to my house. [ laughter ] a little of that. I felt like i had done my time. I had done five films with marvel at that point. I called up kevin. And i heard that Robert Downey had pushed the film to locations that he wanted to be in and i said, maybe this is my opportunity. And i said, you know. Weve got this little country, australia. Which has got this great crew and cast available. Maybe we can shoot there. They were receptive and we ended up shooting there. Jimmy how far were you from where you live . About 45 minutes. Jimmy very nice. Very manipulative. [ laughter ] jimmy maybe run home for a vegemite sandwich and come home to work. Vegemite, same pillow, same bed, it was a great experience. Jimmy do your kids get excited about the fact daddy is thor . One of them. I have three. Jimmy okay. So one out of three is good for me. One of the things that is really cool, and i come home from work. Papa, did you fight monsters at work . I say, yeah. Doing press all day. Plenty of monsters. [ laughter ] and the other two are on the fence. Theyre like, ah, whatever. Whatever. Jimmy is there a dressing up as thor for halloween or anything . Do you push that . I try to push it, definitely. Jimmy sure, yeah. I feel like after the movie comes out, theyre going to want to. I hope so. I want them to see this one. Jimmy well, sure. Its dad having more fun than hes had before. Jimmy i think you brought your whole cast here with you. Right . Isnt that who did you bring with you . Backstage . Jimmy yeah. Theres a few of them. Weve got our director. Jimmy the director, yeah. Mark ruffalo. Jimmy mark ruffalo, who plays the hulk. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the hulk is beautiful in this version. The best version of the hulk youve seen. Jimmy by far the best version. And i liked the previous versions. Not all of them. You know what im saying. Sometimes the hulk can be too fake looking. It can. And then the technologys advanced. And ty said, dont do what weve done before. Mark on many occasions looked at me and said, are we wrecking this film . Jimmy i think we have a camera backstage. Lets see if mark is there. [ cheers and applause ] hey, mark, how are you doing . Mark, youre a great hulk. I love this hulk. This is a beautiful hulk youve put together. Thank you, jimmy. Jimmy its weird to see you in clothes. Usually youre make and ripped. I know, its strange. I have a loincloth. Jimmy you do. So you guys must be pals. For mark to come along with you. This is like work for mark. Oh, yeah. Were close. And im actually jimmy hold on a second. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy no, no, no, no. Hold on a second. Let me talk to tyka. Get the camera away from that side that director, tyka. Jimmy how are you doing . You did a great job on this movie. Thank you, jimmy, this is a real dream come true to sit in the green room. Jimmy im sorry about the interruption there. I did want to say okay. [ cheers and applause ] no. Its the mighty thor, not the mighty bore, maybe take a walk. Im so sorry. Hes not supposed to go into the guests rooms, he has his own area hes supposed to stay in. He has his ax in here. Jimmy yeah, it was great making this movie. We had a lot of fun. It was only 16 hours away from my house. Jimmy oh, thats nice. You know, it was good. Jimmy is there a rivalry between people from new zealand, as you are, and people from australia . Yeah. Sadly, there is. Its been going on for thousands of years. Jimmy has it really. But you know what, this is getting ridiculous. Youre not on the show. Im on the show im on jimmy youre not on the show. Im on the show jimmy this does not count as being on the show. This is what movie actors look like right here. We ride Adam Carollas coattails, we did it ourselves. Jimmy enough already with that. I didnt invite him. Im friends with him but more out of jimmy why are you friends with him . I feel sorry for him. [ laughter ] he has nothing, he has nothing. Jimmy its very sad. I saw a friend in need. I decided to extend a handshake. Jimmy is it true you go on vacations with him . He turned up at my house in australia. [ laughter ] jimmy he did. Uninvited. Really, is that right . Yeah, im an open person, so. Jimmy he likes to go to things that no one wants him at. I know, just rolls up to events. Jimmy does he stay in your house . Unfortunately, yeah. Jimmy oh, no. Yeah, and his kids as well. Jimmy wow, the whole theyre nice enough. Jimmy im sure the kids i dont hold it against the kids. Theyre better. Jimmy the kids are nicer. Hes a pain, theyre cool. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] im on the show jimmy how does that even work . I hacked into the system. Jimmy oh, yeah. [ laughter ] its the martian. Ive been here for a really long time, decades. I learned a lot of stuff. Jimmy go backstage and eat the duty potatoes that we made for you, okay . Yeah, all right. Pull up the screen saver. What of the emergency screen saver . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and you do nothing. Guillermo ill go take care jimmy go take care of it, youre security. The worst security. Jimmy im so sorry, chris, i really am. So am i. Jimmy when we come back were hopefully going to see an exclusive never before seen clip of thor ragnarok. Be right back. For those who know what theyre really building. Always unstoppable. Toasting dad im not one but heres to. To many more years of friendship. And feasts crowd [laughing, cheering] to presents a mi familia que lo es todo. To being right here, right now, with you. Sfx dog bark. And you. Toasting dad i guess what im trying to say is, heres to family. Were proud to bring your family amazing value every day. T. J. Maxx. Marshalls. Homegoods. Family is the greatest gift. Sourced entirely in france, for a character all its own. Grey goose. Give the worlds best tasting vodka. Its blinds to gos big sale whats the big idea . Only big time savings on every item in the store. And the more you buy the bigger you save. Up to 30 off thats a really big deal. Blinds to go. Blinds for life. Its the big sale our biggest sale of the year select from. Rollers, cellulars, romans, sheers, woods, faux woods, verticals and so much more. The more you buy the bigger you save up to 30 off thats big blinds to go. Blinds for life. I really wish i had my hammer. Hammer . Its made from this special metal. I spun it really, really fast, it gave me the ability to fly. You rode a hammer . I didnt ride the hammer. The hammer rode you on your back . No, id spin it really fast. It would pull me off oh my god, the hammer pulled you off. Pull me off the ground, into the air, i would fly. Every time i threw it, it would always come back to me. Sounds hike you had a special and intimate relationship with this hammer and losing it was almost comparable to losing a loved one. Thats a nice way of putting it. Jimmy thats Chris Hemsworth. Thor ragnarok. And that character thats our director. Playing that character. And that stemmed from we were on set playing around with the weapons. Before we shot the scene, it was one line originally. And the Art Department just went mental on the artistic collaboration. Brought all sorts of ridiculous weapons. We were laughing what the hell is this thing . We were improving most of that scene. That was the tone of most of the movie is an encouraged improvisation. Jimmy yes, it really kind of takes the as they would say, takes the piss out of the superhero genre in general. Thats it. Jimmy Jeff Goldblum is in the movie as well. My were warned me of the love and affection im going to have towards this man. Jimmy hes great. He does the best jest goldblum in town. Jimmy odin, your father, thors father in the movie, is played by sir anthony hopkins. [ cheers and applause ] pretty heavy. I want to ask you about something. Tyka posted this on his instagram. Then you, i dont know how much later, posted the same photograph. But somehow the sweat has been removed from sir anthony hopkins. You are very observant. Jimmy thank you very much. This is the sort of thing i monitor. As a good human being, i thought, im going to have someone remove the sweat marks. Jimmy so youre saying tyka is not a good human being. He does not care. Look at this. I think someone threw a bottle of water on him. Jimmy you did the right thing and he did the wrong thing. He really should be ashamed of himself. [ laughter ] that man is an international treasure. I care about his history. Jimmy congratulations on the film. People are going to love this movie. [ cheers and applause ] its called thor rag that cook. It opens in theaters and imax on november 3rd. Chris hemsworth, everybody. Well be right back. This is google home mini. Its the Google Assistant for your house, so it gets you. If you mumble. minions gibberish it gets you. If you talk like this add worcestershire sauce to my cart. It still gets you. Gh ok adding now. And if youre like hey google, play my love playlist. truly madly deeply by Savage Garden plays oh really . Play my love playlist. pony ginuwine plays oh yeah. It also knows the difference between you and him. Its google home mini, and the rest of the google home family. I got it from the same place i bought your present from last year. Its the thing from the link you sent us. And the year before. I found the perfect gift for you. But it wouldnt ship in time. So i just. Texted you a photo. I bought it with one click. I included a gift receipt. Its the thought that counts . Dont shop like everybody else. This year shop ebay for brand new, nearly new, and totally you gifts. Your date with destiny has arrived. 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[ [ all ] by simon anbees funkel ] [ all ] bees the volkswagen atlas. With easyaccess 3rd row. Lifes as big as you make it. At tmobile, when you holiday together, great things come in twos. Right now when you buy any of this seasons hot new Samsung Galaxy phones, you get a second one free to gift. Thats one samsung for you. One to give. Tmobile. Holiday twogether. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Vance joy is on the way. Our next guest is a comedian actor, writer, producer, and now an author, too. Her new book is called im fine and other lies. Please welcome Whitney Cummings. [ cheers and applause ] thats a beautiful dress. Thank you. This is a tricky dress. Why is it oh, right. Its a tricky dress. Jimmy thats good for the viewers at home. I have to do some adjustments. Jimmy do you want me to shield you . With the vance joy single . I need something down here. This is better. Jimmy come on. Lets give the people at home what they came to see. Your legs. [ cheers and applause ] im sorry. That was very rude. I dont know. I dont want to give them a gynecological exam, thats not what they asked for. Jimmy this is called im fine and other lies. Does this mean youre not fine . I know this might come as a shock to some people but i dont have it together, folks. Jimmy you dont . You seem to me like you do have it together. Really . Im hanging by a thread. Jimmy i didnt gather that. You seem to be, well, youre very successful obviously. You have a lot of jobs as far as i can tell. Youre working on things, youre producing other people, youre writing for other people and yourself, you write a book, youre touring. Im hilarious. Theres more. Are you done . Is that it . Jimmy thats the reason that all of these things come together. Because you are very funny. You dont feel like it, huh . That is so nice. I think i wanted a book that revealed all the flaws and insecurities and the mistakes. I think so many of us pretend to have it together. You scroll down the instagram, you see everybodys greatest hits. No ones showing what happens behind the scenes. I kind of wanted to make it socially acceptable to talk about our not so great moments. Our shameful moments. Our embarrassing moments. And i did that with this book, which means ill be single forever. [ laughter ] jimmy is that genuinely a concern . It sounds like, are you worried about yeah. Jimmy about revealing so much . Yes, i revealed so much in this book about eating disorders, body dismore fee yeah, addiction, i dont know why youre not laughing, this is hilarious. It has made a lot of things very weird for me. Like people just in general, i feel like they think that im a safe place to admit all their weird secrets. Jimmy oh, no. And shameful behavior. People come up to me in airports and blurt out weird things they do. Jimmy like what . I had a woman run up to me in an airport and she goes, hey, i go to stores and i buy clothes i dont even want just so other people cant have them. [ laughter ] jimmy wow i was like, im going to go get a cinnabon. I need to get out of here. Jimmy thats one of the craziest things ive ever heard. Ever heard. I had a woman yell at me across a driveway. She goes, hey, whitney, i cant stop stealing. [ laughter ] cool i dont know what to tell you. Jimmy do you advise them at all . Im not a psychiatrist. I think thats pretty obvious. Im a clown, a comedian. So read the book. There is a lot of helpful information there. I tried to make a funny selfhelp would be for people. When people are weak and depressed, a lot of selfhelp books are boring and they make it worse. I wanted to write a funny selfhelp book so you can laugh and cry. Jimmy do you get into medical things . A little. I did this one thing. I added some things in there. My therapist realized that i have an issue with codependence. It manifests in, i have an inability to speak, first of all, but also to see red flags in men. Youve met some guys ive dated. You know. My picker is off. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, okay. I know what you mean. Okay. You know. Molly knows. Jimmy my wife knows. Your wife knows. But my brain will automatically turn a negative into a positive just to justify being in a terrible relationship. Jimmy thats not a good thing . Its bad. It is aging me. Like ill meet a guy and ill go, hes married oh, cool, not afraid of commitment [ laughter ] like thats how my brain works. My therapist was like, you cant be trusted out there on the streets. So she made me start giving a quiz to the guy that i date to find out their subconscious, to find out who they are. And my producer said i could do it with you. Jimmy oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] may i ask you a quick question . Do you do this, do you do it on the first date . I try to do it on the first date. Jimmy that wont help anything. If i got quizzed on the first date, i would be like, im going to the bathroom and never coming back. [ laughter ] well then i learned everything i need to know. You jump ship when things get hard. Jimmy give me the quiz. Do you have a pen . I need paper and a pen. Jimmy i do, yes, theres a pen, i have paper. Ill sign the book for you, fine, all right. Jimmy jimmy, you failed. So the idea is the idea is freud, came up with this test. It finds out things about someones subconscious. We all pretend to be people were not. I pretend im 30. [ laughter ] people pretend a lot of things but this is the way to get the truth out in a sneaky way so you dont find out two years into a relationship that they have a secret family. This is a good day. Jimmy now i feel like theres a lot of pressure. There is a lot of pressure. Molly, i hope youre watching. Jimmy ill try to answer honestly. The first thing i need to know is what your favorite animal. Jimmy a monkey. Definitely. I need three reasons. Why its your favorite animal. Jimmy well. They fling poop. Is that three . Fling poop. And try to do adjectives. Jimmy okay. Smoking. I like when they smoke. [ laughter ] theyre the only animal that smokes. That i know of. Like what about the monkey . Jimmy i like, theyre funny, i think. They seem intelligent. And they are a little bit crazy. Funny, intelligent, crazy. Crazy and fling poop. Okay. What is your favorite article of clothing . It can be a suit or a pair of socks. Jimmy of my own. It can be anything. It can be a wedding dress. Jimmy yeah, my wedding dress, thats it. [ laughter ] it can be underwear. Jimmy i know what it is. I have a tank top that has the colors of the jamaican flag and i wear it only because my wife hates it so much. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and i dont know what this says about me but i bought like 12 of them. Because she throws them out immediately. And then i just produce another one and she doesnt know where they keep coming from. Okay. What are three adjectives to describe it . That tank top . Hideous . Jimmy hideous would be one of them. Ridiculous. Annoying. Annoying. Jimmy i think i failed the test already. No, no. Ill tell you what they mean in a second. Jimmy oh, all right. The final one is what is your favorite body of water . It can be an ocean, a swimming pool, a glass of water, a stream. Mine was the new river in virginia, i went White Water Rafting on it. Jimmy i know what mine is. Silver creek in idaho. Okay. Tell me three things to describe that creek. Jimmy it is placid, clear, and troutful. [ laughter ] is that a word . Troutful . Bountiful with trout. Jimmy bountiful with trout, yes, yes, yes. So its a is it moving them . Jimmy a little bit but not much. Its very still. Moves a little bit. Okay. So what this does is it helps you understand the way you perceive yourself and the way others perceive you. The first one tells you how you perceive yourself. Jimmy as a monkey. Right. Funny, intelligent, crazy and flings poop. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah, thats me. Would you say thats how you perceive yourself . Jimmy if you throw hairy in there, youve got practically my twitter bio. Or your tinder bio. Jimmy yeah, right. And then your article of clothing is the way other people perceive you. Jimmy okay. Oh, boy. Pisses off your wife, ridiculous, annoying. That was not, i dont know. I dont know. I would have pushed you to go for something besides the tank top but i wanted to hear so much about it and envision you in it that i went for it. The third one is the way you view sex. [ laughter ] jimmy really . Placid. [ laughter ] troutful. [ laughter ] jimmy wow and moves a little but not much. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its miraculous youve been spying on me let me have that book. Wow, its all in here. All the secrets the life are right in this book. Its called im fine and other lies. Whitney cummings, everyone. Well be right back with vance joy. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Hello moto. Can your phone turn into a projector . Because a 70 inch projection beats any phone screen. And they might be bragging about portrait mode. But can your phone go beyond and transform into a real 360 camera . Its time to reinvent your smartphone. Its time to move on. Moto mods on the new moto z, from motorola. Available at all major carriers. And take an extra 20 off ekend at kohls Friends Family sale give joy with a star wars playset or the batcave give joy with mr. Potato head or a playdoh playset this weekend at kohls friends and family sale give joy, get joy at kohls. Bipolar depression, it leaves me feeling sad and empty. It makes it hard to be there for the people i love. So i talked to my doctor, and she prescribed latuda. Latuda is fdaapproved to treat bipolar depression, a different type of depression. In clinical studies, latuda was proven effective for many people struggling with bipolar depression. Latuda is not for everyone. Call your doctor about unusual mood changes, behaviors or suicidal thoughts. Antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. Elderly dementia patients on latuda have an increased risk of death or stroke. Call your doctor about fever, stiff muscles and confusion, as these may be lifethreatening or uncontrollable muscle movements as these may be permanent. These are not all the serious side effects. To learn more, go to latuda. Com or talk to your doctor. Being there for the people i love means i get to be part of lifes little moments. Talk to your doctor about latuda and visit latuda. Com part of your everyday routines with roomba from irobot. Just press clean and roomba gets to work. Roomba uses a patented dirt detect™ system that attacks dirt in hightraffic areas of your home. While two multisurface brushes and powerlifting suction grab and remove everything from fine dust to large debris. Daily dirt doesnt stand a chance. You and roomba from irobot. Better together. Whfor 6 days only at petsmart spend 60 and get 20 off your merchandise purchase with coupon. And save all month on aquariums, beds, crates and more ive always wanted one of these petsmart for the love of pets. Your date with destiny has arrived. Lets do this new cinnamon frosted flakes are finally here. Sweet cinnamon and the frosted crunch you love. Well . Tastes like victory t. Tastes like victory. Theyre great pre crowd cheering presents for them, kohls cash for you announcer kohls. Give joy. Get joy. Well, it turns out she doesnt. Ht i knew everything about garthbut now i do. I just finished his new book. Yes, he wrote a book. Im so proud of him. Its not a book. Its the anthology part 1 of a part 5 series. Its a. Its a book with cds in it. And stories like ive never heard before. Pictures ive never seen. In a really sweet package. I know what im getting everybody for christmas this year. announcer 240 pages, 5 albums, and hundreds of neverbeforeseen photos. Available now at walmart. And honey, theres some things in here that i dont think i wouldve told. Dicky the jimmy kimmel Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy i told you we would have music and i would never lie about Something Like that. Here with the song, lay it on me, vance joy [ cheers and applause ] im so gone anyone could see that im wasted you cut through and i just wanna know whats in your head write it on a piece of paper honey mmm hmmm put it in my coat before i go hidden in a place you know ill find it oh ohh later when im sitting all alone let me in everything starts at your skin so new your loves always finding me out oh who am i kidding if all my defenses come down oh baby will you lay it all on me now lay it all on me now lay it all on me now lay it all on me now lay it all on me now snow comes down everything is new and different i found you hidden in plain sight whyd it take so long write it on a piece of paper honey mmm hmmm put it in my coat before i go let me in everything starts at your skin so new your loves always finding me out oh who am i kidding if all my defenses come down oh baby will you lay it all on me now lay it all on me now lay it all on me now lay it all on me now lay it all on me now ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh your loves always finding me out who am i kidding if all my defenses come down oh baby babe will you lay it all on me now ohh ohh ohh lay it all on me now ohh ohh ohh lay it all on me now ohh ohh ohh lay it all on me now ohh ohh ohh lay it all on me now jimmy i want to thank vance joy, Chris Hemsworth, Whitney Cummings. I will not apologize to matt damon. He was inappropriate tonight and i didnt care for it. A special edition of nightline that Harvey Weinstein will absolutely hate is next. Thank you for watching. Good night, everybody. In one nanosecond, everything, every single thing, changed. It was surreal. A young couple starting a family. But in the delivery room, a terrifying discovery. I saw shock on peoples faces. They didnt want to show to it me. Their son born with a rare genetic disorder. It didnt look like a human being. He didnt look like a person. Then these new parents did the thing all parents do. We held thnathaniel for the first time. We held our son. Then our life changed forever. Tonight Elizabeth Vargas on one familys inspiring journey. Seemingly ripped straight out of a bestselling novel. You may have read the book wonder. If you have you already know a little bit about me. The struggles and heartaches. So tired