Host. Thanks for watching. Thank you for being here. Its very nice. I appreciate that. Were living in a tumultuous time. Theres a lot going on, not much of it good. Today i want to start the show with something light, something fun. Are you up for that . [ cheers and applause ] so this was the closest thing i could find. A group of turkish archaeologists claimed theyve uncovered the final resting place of st. Nicholas, old st. Nick. What youre seeing is santas grave. [ laughter ] i told you. How do you explain that to kids . I have some good news about santa and some bad news. [ laughter ] good news is he was real. Live laugh [ laughter ] santa is real, and santa is dead. Of course santa is dead, you force a guy to eat a billion cookies in one night what do you think is going to happen . They found this tomb below the st. Nicholas church in anatalia. They believe the body inside is the fourth century saint the church is named after which makes sense. One of the archaeologists said, we will reach the ground and maybe find the untouched body of st. Nicholas and thus the most depressing animated Christmas Special ever was born. It makes you wonder, if santa is dead whose lap have my children been sitting on . Just when you think the week wouldnt get any worse, santas dead and rotting under a turkish church. President trump is still fuming about this Rex Tillerson story. It was reported yesterday secretary of state Rex Tillerson wanted to resign earlier this year and referred to the president as an fing moron at a meeting. Trump tweeted multiple times yesterday insisting the story was fake. Tillerson decided to hold a press conference at which he denied ever wanting to resign, but did not answer the moron question. Thats got the president s little thumbs tingling. This morning he again tweeted, why isnt the Senate Intel Committee looking into the Fake News Networks in our country to see why so much of our news is just made up, fake i guess hes moved on from puerto rico and las vegas. [ laughter ] so the Senate Intel Committee is busy right now looking into the fake news stories the russians made up to help him win the election. The other irony is no one, no breathing human on planet earth produces more fake news than donald trump. This is Donald Trumps rating on politifact, the nonpartisan factchecking organization. According to them only 5 of the things that come out of his mouth are true. More than twothirds, 69 , are either mostly false, false, or pants on fire false. [ laughter ] this is another chart. This is from the washington post. Over the 232 days donald trump has made 1145 claims that are false or misleading. And thats just the stuff he says in public. Who knows what donald trump is a tornado of fake news. Hes the michael jordan, elvis presley, and great wall of china of fake news combined. [ cheers and applause ] donald trump criticizing fake news is like hugh hefner criticizing fake breasts. [ laughter ] trump is particularly angry at nbc for breaking this tillerson story. He lashed out again this morning on twitter. Msnbc reporter stephanie rule, who contributed to that tillerson story, responded to the president s criticism directly. He held a lastminute News Conference wednesday disputing our reporting that he was once on the verge of quitting. Trump pushed back on twitter saying, Rex Tillerson never threatened to resign, this is fake news put out by nbc news, low news and reporting standards, no verification from me. Sir, we didnt need to verify that he called you a moron, he did it behind your back. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh is that how it works . So round two of the rap battle goes to stephanie rule. Meanwhile, this is rich. While trump was in puerto rico on tuesday, he took some time out to praise the work of the coast guard, u. S. Coast guard. This is a transcript from the white house website. Fake news . Thats on him. Trump said, hes in front of a lot of people, he said, a lot of people got to see the real coast guard during this incredible trouble and especially i think here in texas. It was incredible what they did so thank you all very much, we appreciate it, really appreciate it. He turns to a guy and sit, would you like to Say Something on behalf of your men and women . The guy says, sir, im representing the air force. And trump says, no, i know that. [ laughter ] of course you do. By always disappointing, he rarely disappoints. And heres something to set your dvr for. On cbs sunday morning jim axelrod has a oneonone interview with trumps first wife ivana. They released a clip of the interview in which we learn the nature of her relationship with the president today. Is he still a big part of your life . Yeah, he is. He is. In what way . Jimmy in the way that we have the same hairstyle . [ laughter ] well, we speak to each other. Jimmy how often . Maybe once a week. Jimmy vunce a veek . Sorry, im easily distracted. He asks for your advice . Hes still asking for advice. What about . Should i tweet, should i not tweet . You know. He asked who should you tweet . What have you told him . I told him, i think you should tweet. Jimmy yes, keep tveeting, wheres my check . Maybe shes the one he wrote covfefe to, maybe that is the miss tree right there. So much crazy stuff going on, its almost comforting to witness nonsense from other countries. British Prime Minister theresa may gave what theyre describing as a nightmare speech yesterday. Shes been criticized for weak leadership of her country so she needed a great speech at the end of this fourday conservative Party Conference to be a hit. Unfortunately for her, it was not a hit. At first, while she was talking, a prankster handed her a piece of paper called p45, which apparently is the form they give you, their version of the pink slip. Watch this. Its the conservative party that has a vision of an open, global, selfconfident britain. While our opponents flirt with a Foreign Policy of neutrality. And prepare for a run on the ground. Jimmy she took and it put it down. Thats one of the most british things ive ev seen. Pardon me, maam, but i disagree with you, heres a sheet of paper to illustrate that. She also had a coughing fit. Coughing went on and on throughout the speech. Then the message behind her slogan on the wall, a letter fell off. All its diversity, compassion, and strength that was shared around the room [ laughter ] jimmy or everyone. So they got the letter back up. The Prime Minister finished her speech. Just as she finished each new generation in our country should be able to build a better future. That each generation should live the british dream. Jimmy well, thats [ laughter ] you know what . I understand the way she feels. [ cheers and applause ] this is good too. The king of saudi arabia made a trip to moscow. And whenever he flies, apparently they travel with an escalator. They attach it to the plane. He doesnt have to go down stairs. Whiches amazing on its own. This morning the escalator stopped. I guess it broke. And as you can see, he didnt know what to do. [ laughter ] he just stood there. Paralyzed. For quite some time. Finally, finally he had to walk down the escalator using his feet. By the way, thats the same guy who until last tuesday didnt think women should be allowed to drive. [ laughter ] on the other side of the world, a top official from the cia says the United States should be ready for a show of aggression from north korea on monday. North korea likes to do missile launches and Nuclear Tests on major holidays. And monday is columbus day. So theyre worried theyre going to do something. Heres the thing about north korea. They have a fundamental misunderstanding of what Americans Care about. Theyre always like, your president is a dangerous simpleton pig were like, yeah, yeah, we know. They think Dennis Rodman is still a big star. Look, we brainwashed your number one celebrity yeah, its okay, his brain has been washed for a long time. Now theyre trying to provoke outside columbus day, the most cherished of all the american holidays. [ laughter ] and i have to say, you know, my family and i were planning to buy a mattress this weekend, now thats ruined. [ laughter ] its like they dont even know us. [ cheers and applause ] as you may be aware, our city of los angeles was recently blessed with not one but two nfl teams. The rams and the chargers. How many chargers or rams fans do we have in the audience . Okay, so thats the problem. [ laughter ] so both our teams are having trouble filling seats. The rams attendance dropped 26,000 fans per game this season, and theyre in first place. Its not like theyre doing badly. The chargers only have 27,000 seats at the stub hub center, a socker stadium. They cant fill half. They claim they do, it doesnt look that way on tv. The eagles were in down, even sean spicer was like, wow, that is a small crowd you guys got there. Theyre going a new stadium that holds more than 70,000 fans. The future, in other words, does not look bright for the bolts. But it isnt over yet. In fact, a Smart Marketing team for the chargers has a new spin that i think is going to help them sell more tickets. Looking for a place to relax and rejuvenate . A place to be alone with your thoughts . Find yourself and lose yourself at the stub hub center. Sunday selfguided meditation retreats offer guests plenty of room to breathe. Within our sprawling 27,000seat sanctuary. Reserve your section and spend the next three and a half hours just being you. Contemplate your place in the world. Or just simply exist. And if you get a call, feel free to answer it. You arent disturbing anyone. Parking could not be easier. Sunday selfguided meditation retreats at the stub hub center. Eight sundays a year. We miss you, san diego. We really [ bleep ]ed up. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know what i like, a football game. All right, we have a good show for you tonight. Tonight, oh, wait. By the way, we have to take a break. When we come back from the break were going to have fun with people on the street. Were playing a game called fool release. Stick around, well be right back. The leader. The best. The sclass has sat at the pinnacle of automotive excellence for generations. The one car that continually innovates and pushes technology forward. On each sclass, there lies a simple badge. And it serves as our constant reminder, to never rest on laurels, and to forever earn the star. This is the 2018 sclass from mercedesbenz. 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Take an extra 20 off and get womens denim for just 15. 99 boots only 35. 99 and the big one bath towel just 2. 99. Plus get the lowest prices of the season on levis youll get kohls cash too kohls. Jimmy welcome back to our show. Isla fisher, music from steve aoki featuring gucci mane and tpain or the way. We like to have fun with the folks who pass our studio, people walking by. Whenever we put someone on a tv they sign a legal release, they sign their name on a form, were good to go. Most people dont both tore read the form, they trust us, i guess. [ laughter ] today we decided to put that trust to the test to find out just how much these people would endure for a chance to be on tv. Can we talk to you for abc . This is a standard release so we can show you on television. Am i going to have the ass something where i look like an idiot . I dont think so. Put your john hancock on that. On this . Me put the pen on a croc so people dont steal it. Just your name right there. A couple of quick questions so we can show your likeness on air. Agrees the Production Company owns your voice in perpetuity until this airs. Okay. During filming participant understands that all heretofore mentioned question subjects may or may not be fully taken out of context. Thats okay, whatever. I acknowledge at some point during the interview i may be asked to defend dr. Bill cosby. Yes. Huh. In the event i am suddenly incapacitated during the interview and end up in a vegetative state, i grant abc the right to pull the plug if need be and a dnr, do not resuscitate, also power of attorney over your affairs. Okay. Agrees to waive their right to various things, if you could physically wave your right to an attorney . Wave . Wave your right to medical assistance and a comfort pet. Inny or outty . Inny, okay. Geez. I had to check myself. Why, you and me both. You agree to use our gps . Yes. With our gps, we just turn your head just a little bit. We need to implant a small gps tracking device on you. This is a way to locate you without why . You wont even feel it. Its just a small what is this . A small gps tracking device that goes behind your ear no, no, i really dont want it. No. Its easy. Give us your phone number . Yeah, yeah. Okay, ill get your phone number. Lets create some unique security questions. Whats the name of the street you grew up on . Anderson street. Anderson, okay. What was the name of your first pet . Claw. Claw, okay. How old were you when you lost your virginity . 30 . 30. Okay. Two years ago this. Yeah. I knew you could do it. This is just for identification. We need a cheek print. A cheek print . A cheek print. Either cheek is fine. Really, this is weird. Turn the other one. What . Any allergies to seafood . Okay, hold this. What that is . Salmon head. Just hold foyt are a second. Okay . Got that . Okay. Can we check your teeth to make sure youre camera ready for teeth . Open up. Check your gums if thats okay. Starting with the back molar. One, two, one, three, one, one, four, five weve got a deep pocket on number six, check that out. Two, one. Participant agrees to have temperature taken, either orally or rectally . Orally. Orally . If we could get you to put that under your tongue. That is one of the wait, no, thats a rectal one, sorry. [ laughter ] what shoe size . 8. If we can get a stool over here, lets go ahead and get that shoe off you. Im not wear socks. Thats okay. Okay, all right. Bend your knee a little bit for me. Okay, were going to go ahead and so i have you at about a 7. 5 to 8. Okay. I had a 7. 5. But i couldnt find an 8. Lets give these a shot and see how they feel, okay . Hold the banana. Participant agrees not to make any sudden movements around the gorilla. Theres a [ bleep ]ing gorilla let me go ahead and get you to look in the camera and say, i am not defined by my diarrhea. I am not defined by my diarrhea. I am not defined by my diarrhea. I am not defined by my diarrhea. Right on behind your ear for a second, this is a small gps tracking device its easy. Its in case you change your phone number. Were just able to find no, no, no, no. Just take two seconds what is the show called . Jimmy kimmel live. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. Tonight on the show we have music from steve aoki with gucci mane and tpain, isla fisher is here. And well be right back with jeff bridges. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by spirit airlines. Less money, more go. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. You stand out in a crowd. And are pulled together. You follow your own lead and show your strength. Always comfortable in your own skin. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx ive gotta hit the loo. We cant stay here why . Terrible toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you, big daddy. Aww. Charmin ultra strong. Its washclothlike texture helps clean better. Its four times stronger and you can use less. Beautiful view. Thanks to charmin. And you, honeybear. Awwwww. We all go. Why not enjoy the go with charmin . Jimmy hi there, welcome back. Tonight on the show, she is a talented actress and now an author, too. Isla fisher is here. [ cheers and applause ] and then, his album is called steve aoki presents kolony. Steve aoki from the Mercedes Benz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] steve brought friends with him tonight. Tpain and gucci mane and a wheelbarrow full of sheet cake. We have good shows for you next week as we pack up for brooklyn on the 16th with the mighty thor, chris hemsworth, kate hudson, renee zellweger, chadwick boseman, whitney cummings, marc maron, january jones, jared padalecki, and well have music from sir rosevelt, dhani harrison, and vance joy, too. So please join us for all that. [ cheers and applause ] getting sarcastic participation from the crew, thank you. Our first guest tonight is an oscarwinning actor and a renowned enjoyer of life who definitely gets all his bowling shoe rentals for free. His new movie is called only the brave. It opens october 20th. Please welcome jeff bridges. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you doing . Can i tell you, i always look forward to having you here. Youre always a lot of fun. I dont know if you know this. But from time to time, your costars when they come to the show, they will almost always share a story about you. Oh, thats nice. Jimmy Everybody Loves you. Is there anyone who doesnt love you . Do you have an enemy out there that you have in mind . I have a few. But i havent taken a tally. Jimmy you should never tally that kind of stuff. Congratulations, you just celebrated your 40s w th wed anniversary. [ cheers and applause ] whoo, people time passes, man. Jimmy how did you propose to your wife . I did the traditional getting down on my knee thing. But it was tough. I dont know about you. But i fell in love with my wife, it was love at first sight. Jimmy oh, really. I knew she was the one. And that scared the hell out of me. You know. Jimmy it did . Yeah, yeah. You know, we did we lived together for about three years. And i have a terrible my mother used to call it a bulia, which is like a mental disorder of not being able to make a decision. Jimmy oh, really. Thats what i kept claiming. Jimmy its a bulia. Is that short for a [ bleep ] . Yeah [ laughter ] so, you know, sue, my beautiful wife, she said, i understand your abulia, i understand the situation, but im going back up to montana because my biological clocks going off, i want to start a family. Jimmy yeah. And, oh, man, i cant let this i had this image in my mind. A handful of sand and theres one diamond in there and thats sue. And i cant let that thing go. Jimmy yeah. You know. So i said i had to give myself a caveat. It was a terrible one. It was, hey, if it doesnt work out, you can get a divorce. [ laughter ] so i get down on my knees. On a thursday. And say, will you marry me . She goes, yeah, okay. When do you want to do it . Todays thursday, how about saturday . I dont know how long i can hold this particular thing. We call up our friends and have a wonderful wedding. Jimmy thats a pretty great way to do it. Your abulia went away. [ applause ] youre married a couple years youre married a long time, how long have you been married . Jimmy ive been married twice. Once i was married for almost 15 years. Yeah . Jimmy and this time ive been married for four years. Yeah, four years. You digging it . It gets good, dont you think . Jimmy it was pretty good right at the beginning. I didnt have abulia. [ laughter ] i never even heard of it before tonight. Beautiful word. Jimmy is it really a thing . Abulia, yeah, look it up, google that. Jimmy does it run in your family . How did your mom know about it . I have a tough time ordering in a restaurant, what are you having . Find out what everybody else is having. I dont want to be jealous. Then i cant decide. Jimmy i do have that in restaurants. I didnt know there was a word for it. I didnt know i was sick. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy theres got to be medication for abulia. I bet on cnn tomorrow well start seeing, ask your doctor about abuliagon or whatever. These are the side effects. Jimmy speaking of montana, i know you live there parttime. You did a psa for who is this for . Bear spray company. You know, because people, you know we love grizzly bears. Jimmy yeah. And part of the reason people want to get rid of them, kill them, make them outlawed, is because they hurt people. Jimmy right, sure. So if youre on a if youre hiking and its smart to get some bear spray. Jimmy carry the bear spray. To just get away from it. Jimmy it says a bear doesnt care if youre a movie star, do you think thats true . [ laughter ] thats a little bit insulting. Maybe the bear saw some of my movies. Jimmy yeah, youve been in enough movies this bear should have seen something already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy they asked you to dote. Do you carry bear spray . I occasionally carry bear spray when im up in montana. The animal that i have in my that im frightened of are Mountain Lions. Really, oh boy. I remember taking a walk and i saw a Mountain Lion. Maybe like it was two Mountain Lions, maybe 30 yards away, sitting on a rock. They looked at me. And then they talked to each other. [ laughter ] it was like they said i thought they were saying, you go that way, ill go here. They both very calmly went like this. Not in a rush, like this. Then i said no, get big and weird, aahhhhh aaahhhhhh all the way home. [ cheers and applause ] i think thats the right behavior. Jimmy we should make another poster. Exactly. Jimmy instead of Mountain Lion spray, just act like a crazy person. Jeff bridges is here. His movie is called only the brave. Be right back [love is all around by joan jett the blackhearts] who can turn the world on with her smile . Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile . Well its you girl, and you should know it. With each glance and every Little Movement you show it. Youre gonna make it after all. It takes a long time to get to the top. Youre gonna make it after all. But with americas best youre gonna make it after all. Bumpertobumper limited youre gonna make it after all. Warranty, the allnew Volkswagen Tiguan will be there every step ow of the way. Depression is a tangle of multiple symptoms. Thats why theres trintellix, a Prescription Medication for depression. Trintellix may help you take a step forward in improving your depression. 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Youll get kohls cash too kohls. Jimmy what is the deal with pomegranates . Fashionable. Is it an antioxidant . I dont know what that word means. Jimmy whats the deal with pomegranates . I have no idea. I think a lot of time its used to make pomegranate juice. Jimmy sure, why, what other jules could you make out of a pomegranate . The part of brooklyn im from, we dont have the pomegranates. Jimmy no pomegranates. Youre in the nopomegranate zone. Correct, south brooklyn, the real brooklyn. The new brooklyn, they have fancy things. We dont have that in the real brooklyn. Jimmy all right, thank you very much. So brooklyn. Thank you, to brooklyn. The real brooklyn. Smirnoff number 21 vodka, the answer to all of lifes ridiculous questions. Eightyfive hundred dollars . . Vanstone auctions . Sold for eight thousand five hundred unicorn in rouge. Congratulations, sir. When you need help fast, call us with td asap on the td bank app and skip to the front of the line. Hi alex, i have your account pulled up. How can i help . Oh, uh. Great. Are you seeing this charge from an auction house . That doesnt look right. Ill take care of that. Oh good. Thank you. Because when you need help, you need it asap. Been trying over four years, got all our qualifications. Can outhump any hot shot crew but until were certified we cant do anything. Doing something thats never been done before takes time. Sooner or later the fire, shes going to come aknocking, this whole place is going to go off like a powder keg. When she does my crew wont be able to set food on the line. The attitude that you got, that cost you a lot of friends in the department. Come on, duane. Youre the wild land fire chief. You started this thing. I need your help. Hey, now, thats nice. Thats a good start. Jimmy thats josh brolin and jeff bridges in only the brave. The true story about a group of firefighters, a very special group of firefighters called hot shots. These are the guys that go up and put out the wildfire in the mountains. Its a very, very dangerous job. Yeah, and its a tragic story. About these a bunch of these hot shots that they perished in a fire. But movie doesnt concentrate on that. Its really about their lives and what kind of bravery these guys had to go exactly where most people dont want to go. Jimmy i think about that every time theres one of those fires. Like you see it on the news. You see the fire. Oh, theres guys in there with hoses. Yeah, yeah, or what happened in vegas. The first responders. Jimmy its unbelievable. It really is. Amazing. Jimmy in the movie you play a guy named duane. Is this your first duane . You must have had other duanes. Duane from the last picture show. Jimmy okay, yeah. You probably had more duanes than anybody. Ive had a few. The cool thing about this one, duane steinbrink, the guy that i play whos the former head of the Wild Land Division chief from prescott. He was around, and he was very gung ho about our movie. Jimmy oh, really. Wanted to tell the story properly. I got to hang out with him. Jimmy nice. One of the interesting aspects of this guy, is on the side he had a country band. Called the rusty pistols. Jimmy is that part of you got to thats part of our movie. Jimmy right, right. We used the real rusty pistols. Those guys were the real rusty pistols . Yeah, my buddy tbone burnett, he recorded us. We had a great time doing that. Jimmy is that youve sung in a number of movies. Have you ever written a song for one of your movies . I wrote a tune. For king kong. [ laughter ] i was in king kong. Jimmy right, of course. 76. Jimmy the good one, the best one the weird one, it was bizarre. Jimmy to me it was all real. I can tell you stories. So delaurentis would call me into his office, jeffy, jeffy, come on in, jeffy. Hes pitching this thing. I say, id like to pitch you an idea. We havent shot the end of our movie yet. And heres my idea, dino. The monkey falls off the building. And he crashes on the ground. But he bursts into flames. And it turns out hes a machine. Jimmy like a robot . Robot. And then you set up the perfect setup for kong 2 where Charles Grodin buys the carcass and takes it around and aliens come in, whatever. Anyway, i wrote a song about that story. Jimmy you did . Yeah. Jimmy do you remember any of that song . Yes theres somebody in the jungle theres somebody in the jungle and he wants to get out hes behind a wall that was built long before the atlantis hes so old maybe older than the bible itself and hes breaking out he wants to establish himself as a monkey man be bold in new york then i was buddies with Burgis Meredith at the time. Jimmy oh my god. You know him. Jimmy of course, the penguin, from rocky, yeah. Hes a wild guy, i had burgis do this kind of talking middle part that was based on the hindenburg crash. Jimmy the spoken word . The monkey is falling, oh my god, the humanity, hes burning, hes a machine, what would this mean . Jimmy dino, he said no . No, he just youve done saturday night live. Jimmy no, i never have, no. Well, he had the expression that all the writers have when remember beau and i did saturday night live. You pitch them something and youre excited and jimmy i think dino was short sighted. If you want to record that id be happy to loan you my band, theyre here and ready to do monkey man. Jeff bridges, everybody. Only the brave opens in theatres october 20th. Well be right back with isla fisher. Want in on the secret to ageless skin . Take the olay 28 day challenge see visible results day 1. By day 28 . Years off your skin age. But dont take it from us, take it from one of the millions of real women already in the know its not often you can say, you know i saw results right away visible results or your money back olay. 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Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms, or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Join over 250,000 people who have chosen humira. Ask about the 1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists. Humira go. Harold hatahh. Verything. But i recently bought jimmy dean stuffed hash browns. Theyre stuffed with delicious meat and cheeses. All of that crispy goodness has him seeing the day in a whole new light. Jimmy dean stuffed hash browns. Shine on. With 33 individual vertebrae and 640 muscles in the human body no two of us are alike. Life made more effortless through adaptability. The perfect position seat in the lincoln continental. Im going on a target run. You need anything . Toilet paper. Cereal. Maybe some chew toys. Got it. Get new lower prices on thousands of items. Target run and done. Jimmy still to come, music from steve aoki. You know our next guest from the movies, for adult people, but she has a new thing now, for those who are smaller. She is author of a new Childrens Book called marge in charge. Please welcome isla fisher. [ cheers and applause ] hi, how are you . Hi, thank you for having me. Jimmy who is marge and why is she so bossy . Marge is this abulian and babysitter. Jimmy thats a medical problem jeff bridges and i have. Im not tackling that in my Childrens Book. Jimmy no, its not what you think. Its not what you think. So im sorry, go ahead. She comes into the family of jake and jemima button and subvertz all of mommys rules and encourages the kids to tap into their creativity. Shes just this hilarious, fun character that gets up to jimmy kids love this. Yeah, yeah, i hope so. Jimmy you tested this on your own children and childrens friends . And theyre fierce critics. They are. So honest. You know, youve got kids. If they dont like it, theyre bored, they walk out. Jimmy my daughter like anything. The only thing is peanut butter, thats it. Not the bread, just the peanut butter. So i dont listen to her, i major her eat things. I dont know if this happens to you. I was googling you and it said, isla fisher, amy adams do people confuse you for amy adams frequently . You know, its yes, they do. I usually correct them. Sometimes i dont. A couple of times i can think of, its been quite funny. But yeah, i remember one time actually i was at this fancy hollywood party. You know, ive seen you at the vanity fair party. Jimmy after the oscars, yes, right. And i was there sort of excited, all dressed up at the bar. Schmoozing with show biz types. The crowds parted and there was lady gaga. Shes heading right towards me. Thank you, your performance in american hustle, amy, was and im thinking, oh my gosh, its lady gaga, i love her so much, i dont want to tell her the truth. I just gracefully thanked her, bowed my head. [ laughter ] then she wants to talk about the performance. Jimmy oh, no. Now im thinking, i dont want to be a liar. And i look over her shoulder and theres amy adams walking into the party. Jimmy oh, no. Im like this, isla fisher. [ laughter ] [ applause ] shes not even nominated for anything, whats she doing here . Jimmy you think lady gaga figured any of it out . She will now. She watches. And ied a a real low point. I was at ikea with a newborn baby, and i was breastfeeding, and i was so exhausted jimmy was it yours . [ laughter ] no, it was a friend of mines, twins. Im a wetnurse. Jimmy oh, really, thats nice of you. So i sat on one of those sofas where i thought no one could see me, in a dusty corner of ikea. The baby latches on. Im exhausted. I close my eyes for a moment to rest. And this woman and her two kids appear. And theyre like, oh my god, its amy adams we love you so much from enchanted, can you please sing us that song, sing us this song from enchanted. Im tone deaf. And im like breast so i just said tell me that you know me before she backed way, realizing that i was clearly not. Jimmy based on your voice. The voice she was able to determine was not you. So anyway, you brought something along here that i think is going to be very helpful. Yeah, i just thought about it, jimmy kimmel, and i feel i should this evening set the record straight. Jimmy this is a Public Service announcement from isla fisher. Hello. Im isla fisher. And id like to clear something up. I am not amy adams. Amy adams and i are completely different people. Let me explain. Amy adams has auburn red. My hair is light auburn red. Amy adams played susan in nocturnal animals. I played laura in nocturnal animals. Amy adams has five oscar nominations. I am a member of s. A. G. Amy adams played maya in zero dark thirty. No, wait, that was jessica chastain. The point is when you come up to any of us say, i love you in arrival, it hurts because you werent arrival. Unless you are amy adams. But im isla fisher. We have totally different names, hence were totally different people. Its really not confusing. Im also not wendy from the hamburger commercials. Please, im isla fisher. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im glad we sorted that out. We put that out there, i dont think youre going to have any problems ever again. This is the book, its called marge in charge. Isla fisher be right back with steve aoki. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Ah, dinner. Throughout history, the one meal when we come together, break bread, share our day and connect as a family. [ bloop, clicking ] and connect, as a family. Just, uh one second voice guy. [ bloop ] huh . Hey . I paused it. Bam, family time. So how is everyone . Find your awesome with xfinity xfi and change the way you wifi. Hes a doubledipping mepension padder. Y. Doubledipping pension padder he had two government jobs, two paychecks and padded his pension along the way. Hes a doubledipping pension padder now hes making over 300,000 a year as a lobbyist and a senator. Doubledipping pension padder so hes all set thanks to you, the taxpayer. Which is why Steve Sweeney had no problem voting to raise your taxes 145 times, including the largest gas tax hike in history. Sounds about right, coming from a. Doubledipping pension padder dicky the jimmy kimmel condition cert series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy thanks to jeff bridges, isla fisher and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. Nightline is next, but first this is his album steve aoki presents kolony, the song is lit here with help from gucci mane and tpain, steve aoki yeah, boy, you gettin that tpain and aoki all of yall tryna do our you just soundin like karaoke long as yall gettin lit yellow claw gettin lit long as yall gettin lit its gucci mane in this and yeah its lit hella lit yellow rollie on my wrist same color my yellow i say i aint got no type but i prefer em super thick i was born for this you too borin for the in the foreign, motor roarin sittin on forgis with a kit plus my outfit sick with it just like e40 and the clique im so spoiled she dont get naked its hard for me to tip im so hard got em runnin and i just put in the tip they dont see me oh no, they dont see me your girls drawers comin down but the hands go up to the ceilin i guarantee it i guarantee it i guarantee it i guarantee it im throwin money in the vip im ballin out so you know its me they tell me, baby youre a boy makin big noise hanging in the street yeah i be hangin in the street oh lord i guarantee it i guarantee it i guarantee dat im the if youre feelin like me i guarantee its about to get lit im tryna live tryna hit club liv and spend a mil who wanna chill with a rich cant wait to pay your bills listen here i just made 20 thousand disappear see it clear, Crystal Clear just like these diamonds in my ear im tryna live tryna hit club liv and spend a mil who wanna chill with a rich cant wait to pay your bills ima put that top in your ear, listen here i just pulled up to the front trunk in the rear gucci they dont see me oh no, they dont see me your girls drawers comin down but the hands go up to the ceilin i guarantee it i guarantee it i guarantee it i guarantee it im throwin money in the vip im ballin out so you know its me they tell me, baby youre a boy makin big noise hanging in the street yeah i be hangin in the street oh lord i guarantee it i guarantee it i guarantee that im the if youre feelin like me i guarantee its about to get lit [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, a wellplanned attack. Go, run, keep your heads down, go new and chilling video from the las vegas massacre. Run the unlikely heroes. One using his truck as an ambulance. New details on the gunmans plans. Was he scouting attack sites in other cities . Plus an interview about nothing . Inside the mind and life of jerry seinfeld. Youve saved every successful joke . What else would you save . I dont have jewels. A sneak peek of his newest laugh lines. I have things i want to talk about. And why he keeps coming back to standup. And candid cam. Star nfl quarterback cam newton making an outrageous c