Rush hour traffic weaving in and out of different lanes. That punt return leads to a touchdown run. 4510. Silver knights, 16 points three games this season. We got a kick out of the next match up, high school of the future and thomas edison. The future and past collide, get it . Futures mark mccoy off to the races. No one to beat but the imagine neighboring yiimaginary tackler at the goal line. Bishop shanahan at westchester. Fits his way in from the ten yard line. Bishop shannon, 427 the final. Northeast uses the ground game to get it done. Across the goal line, vikings win 3318. Strawberry mansion scoring off with plum bow. Takes the pitch, great blocking. Watch the movie clicking on the safety there. 266, strawberry mansion. The crusaders ran on to holy spirits turf. Holy spirit comes off firing. One of four t. D. S. Comes back in Double Overtime for the 4335 victory. Chopper 6, high above vine land and cumberland, check out the block. Thats captain noah stand alone. Steve anderson for the touchdown, scores five times on the night. Vineland crushes cumberland 606. A one handed interception taking it in for a pick six, knocked out of bounds inside the five yard line. Overbrookploverbrook comes back. Eric riley takes the handoff, far sideline around the corner. Overbrook wins 3422. In delaware, conrad up at red line. Jacob pancake, what a name. Goes by everyone for the score. Conrad takes this one big, 4114. Car ver later, jacob runs it in for the touchdown. 3615 the final in that one. Other scores from tonight, pottstown 496. Pots cove undefeated on the season. Pleasantville wins 2616. Trevon lewis, penn charter 2017 against morrisville. How about you wil olney, takes r central, 432. Call the shots next week game of the week. Which match up do you want to see on High School Huddle . Will it be eastern at timber creek in go on to 6abc. Com huddle. The clock has run out on this edition of the High School Huddle. Catch it each friday night after action news at 11 00. Join us every week 6abc. Com. I got to go. Goodnight. Your move, [ bleep ]. Dicky from hollywood its Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight larry david, dave salmoni and animals, kristen bell, live from florida, plus the finale of baby bachelor in paradise. And now, get this heres jimmy kimmel [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats very nice. Hello, everybody. Very kind and i appreciate it. Im jimmy and im the host. Thanks for watching. Thanks for coming. And of course on behalf of [ cheers and applause ] very nice. On ba of all of us here at the show, our studio audience, los angeles, we want to send good thoughts to those affected by hurricane irma. Irma hit florida pretty hard but it has been downgraded to a tropical storm, which is good. Recovery efforts are under way. This is crazy. Florida is the best. A guy in daytona beach, i dont know if you saw this. As a joke he posted a campaign for his fellow floridians to fire guns at the hurricane to let irma know that we shoot first. [ laughter ] and guess what happened. Some people took it seriously to the point where the Pasco County Sheriffs Department posted this stern warning, do not shoot weapons at irma, you wont make it turn around and it will have very dangerous side effects. [ laughter ] they made a graphic to show you if you fire a bullet at a hurricane, it might come back at you. [ laughter ] in other words if you shoot at a hurricane, it will shoot you back. Always try to negotiate with a hurricane, first. Okay . This is unprecedented. Who shoots at weather . [ laughter ] i mean, even in the middle of a natural disaster, florida is still as floridaish as it can be. Not everybody chose to obey the evacuation orders. This was a live report from miami beach where some local residents decided to hang outside and take it in. Once it starts raining, the wind starts blowing, everyone runs home. The issue becomes once it starts clearing up, people start showing up. Look at these gentlemen here. They came out here to do what . What did you come out to do . We wanted to experience the weather. Just to experience the weather . We heard about all the evaculation going on. [ laughter ] but we just decided to come out to experience the weather. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well, you know. You do have to [ applause ] sometimes those evaculations can be premature and you have trouble on your hands. Even though they told people to get out of florida, every time you turn on the tv this weekend there was a reporter getting holesed with wind and rain and everything. I saw a lot of concerned and angry comments about this online. People were worried, all of a sudden people start caring about weathermen. Usually we treat them like traffic cones. You know . You see them, maybe you go around. A lot of them are orange. Its kind of like we dont pay much attention to them anymore because we get the weather on our phones. We dont have to wait till the news comes on, its already like in our pants. So as a result, weather is unnecessary on television now. You might as well be announcing what time it is. [ laughter ] instead of like a map, you might as well put a big clock up on the wall and say, its 8 14, in about 16 minutes were looking at a chance of 8 30. [ laughter ] but this is why [ cheers and applause ] this is why this is why weather people are all good look looking now. Because they have no information to give us anymore. [ laughter ] but then the hurricane comes and the news channels send them into it and its like, be careful with my weather guy. He could get killed out there. Fortunately none of them did. Its important to recognize that these brave men and women risk everything for no good reason at all. And i applaud them for that. This is a good story. One of the many people stranded in florida is kristen bell, the actress. She was shooting a movie in orlando and they evacuated two big groups of nursing home residents and moved them into her hotel. In disney world. Kristen decided since they were cooped up to make it fun for them. This is from her instagram. She wrote there are a few thousand senior residents who got evacuated to our hotel. Were going to make lemonade out of irma best we can. Im fueling up the only way i know how to call a few hours of bingo. She called bingo. They had a bingo game for them. They had wheelchair races at midnight. [ laughter ] she ate with them. There she is dining with her new friends. Their grandkids are going to be jealous. When they find out they had dinner with princess anna. Anyway, we contacted kristen. Shes still there in the hotel and all the Senior Citizens are still in the hotel. I believe we have her live . Do we have her live . Yes. There she is. How are you . [ cheers and applause ] im good. Jimmy hows it going . Pretty good. Were all safe and sound here. We have been making the most of a crazy situation. Jimmy it sounds like you are. Is everybody okay there right now . Everybodys fine. We have gotten through it really well mainly because of gary. Jimmy whos gary . Garys the main man here. Were at Walt Disney World swan and dolphin report and gary has been running the roost over here. Gary is exhausted because hes been running toilet paper to peoples rooms at 2 00 in the morning, handing out water. Jimmy wow. Yeah. Jimmy nicely done, gary. I mean, really. Running toilet paper to peoples rooms. [ laughter ] anything you need, its so full service here. When is the last time you slept . The last time i slept was friday night. Woke up saturday morning. We have been at the hotel ever since. Jimmy no. Garys been up for like 72 hours, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy gary, are people asking for toilet paper or are you just delirious and running it to their room . [ laughter ] all day ive just been running down to the rooms at this point. Jimmy i recognize the gentleman to your right is that the guy you sang with on the video . This is john. Jimmy hi, john. This is my side piece here in orlando, jimmy. [ laughter ] you want to say hi to my friend jimmy . Yes, where are you . How are you . Jimmy im in california. How are you . Oh. Im swamped under with beautiful women. With beautiful women, did you hear what he said . Beautiful women. Jimmy wow. Yes. Jimmy this hurricane is working out beautifully for john, ill tell you that. [ laughter ] ill never be the same. Johns been serenading us. We have everyone here from atria senior assisted living. Jimmy hi, unbelievable. We have so many people. And its not just seniors here. Jimmy wow. That is and you are really the best. That is unbelievable that youre doing all this stuff for everyone. We got dogs here, families, everybody. Jimmy all right, well, please give our love to all the families and dogs. Maybe you and john could do a duet for us before we go, i saw you singing together. I told him you were Johnny Carson because he didnt know who you were. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, even better, even better. [ cheers and applause ] do you want to sing some . Thank you all for being here. And we hope you enjoy the show. He says he hopes you enjoy the show. You can have us singing, you can run our video. I posted something on instagram of us singing. Jimmy thank you, kristen. We send our love. [ cheers and applause ] love you guys. Jimmy thats kristen bell in orlando. Heres another light moment that came out of a serious situation. This is from Florida Governor rick scotts press conference on saturday. Pay attention to the man on the right. Hes the sign Language Interpreter who really gave 110 . The threat of significant storm surge along the east, entire west coast of florida has increased. And 6 to 12 feet, think about that 6 to 12 feet of impacts above ground level is now probable. 6 to 12 feet. This will cover your house. If youve ever watched how storm surge works, it flows in fast, very fast. Then it flows out. You will not survive all this storm surge. This is a lifethreatening situation. If youve been ordered to evacuate, you need to leave now. Do not wait. Evacuate. Not tonight, not in an hour. You need to go right now. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy okay. Thats good stuff. Someone please track that man down. Because oh, by the way, i want to guillermo bring me that email for a second. Larry david is here tonight. Dave salmoni is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] larry david i know you both have a david. Snake with him tonight. This is an email that went around the office today, to all Jimmy Kimmel Live staff, subject, animal demo today, please read, importance high. There are venomous snakes present in the studio for todays animal demo. Although their venom has been drained, only personnel essential to the scene will be allowed within 50 feet, please do not enter the small band dressing room unless absolutely necessary. Additionally rehearsal is closed to nonessential personnel. Thank you for your cooperation. Guess who is only person who didnt get this email is . [ laughter ] the nonessential personnel. Thats who. [ laughter ] thanks for alerting me, guillermo. Guillermo youre welcome. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy anyway, who is ready to be within 50 feet of a venomous snake tonight . [ cheers and applause ] were going to take a break. When we come back well update you on the finale of bachelor in paradise and the finale of baby bachelor in paradise. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] we are not here to observe, to sit idly by, or watch from the stands. We are here. For one reason. To leave. A mark. Lexus high performance. With 5. 0liter v8s and sport directshift transmissions. Experience a shift in the natural order. Experience amazing. Grooves in your sandwich . Do you always put cheezit of course theyre chips. Chips. Plus sandwich equals the perfect lunch. Ooooh. Dont forget the pickle. Its kind of a big dill. Cheezit grooves. Chips made with 100 real cheese. Dang right its a chip whentrust the brand doctors trust for themselves. Nexium 24hr is the number one choice of doctors and pharmacists for their own frequent heartburn. And all day all night protection. When it comes to frequent heartburn, trust nexium 24hr. Not a yes sir, not a follower [thunder by imagine dragons] fit the box, fit the mold have a seat in the foyer, take a number i was lightning before the thunder lightning and the thunder thunder, feel the thunder lightning and the thunder thunder, thunder thunder thunder we cantwhy . Y here terrible toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you. Charmin ultra strong. It cleans better. Its four times stronger and you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. Fortified. Tored. Replenished. Emerge everyday with emergenc packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Why not feel this good everyday . Emerge and see. Im going on a target run. You need anything . Toilet paper. Cereal. Maybe some chew toys. Got it. Get new lower prices on thousands of items. Target run and done. Give extra. Get extra. Wiback like it could used to . Neutrogena hydro boost water gel. With hyaluronic acid it plumps skin cells with intense hydration and locks it in. For supple, hydrated skin. Hydro boost. From neutrogena we cantwhy . Y here terrible toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you. Charmin ultra strong. It cleans better. Its four times stronger and you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Larry david, dave salmoni, and his animal friends are on the way. First tonight here on abc, the Season Finale of bachelor in paradise. What a season this was and what a show this is, is it a show, really . One of the more colorful characters is a woman named christen. Nobody called her that. They called her scallop fingers. A bunch went out to dinner and christen ordered scallops to go and ate them in the car on the way home. And there are others in the car who claim after she ate she wiped her scallop fingers on another woman, alexis, the one from new jersey who dressed as a dolphin, who you would think wouldnt mind a little scallop scent. But she did. And as a result everyone started calling her scallop fingers behind her back. And every time she is on camera, they put scallop fingers under it like its her job or something and they started calling her scallop fingers to her face and now im explaining this nonsense on television. While she didnt end up with mr. Scallop fingers, she didnt seem to be bothered by it. Im very relieved. I would have been wigging out if i left here as a couple. Thank you, its a no. Scallop fingers out. I think for scallops this just wasnt her habitat and shes home now and free. [ laughter ] jimmy its like the weather channel. [ cheers and applause ] so another season of b. I. P. Comes to a close. While it may be over for the contestants, the friendships they made and stds they contract will last a lifetime. All right. Now we turn our attention to a new generation. Its been an amazing journey so far. Tonight all looking ends get tied up. Its the romantic conclusion to baby bachelor in paradise. Previously on the most shocking season of any show in the history of television. Some of the kids found love and some hey ladies who wants a date. Jimmy found themselves alone and weird. Dylan tried his best to woo the girls. Any of you want to no, thanks. No, im good. Ill pass. Youre too old. Youre missing out. Jimmy i sat down for a oneonone with the most rejected contestant in baby bachelor history. Can i ask you a personal question . Yes. Jimmy how long have you had that mustache . Well, my moustache just grew and then it got bigger and bigger, then i just got some beard in my head. Jimmy do you shave every day . Yeah. Jimmy do you shave just your face or your chest and legs too . I shave my whole body. Jimmy your whole body every day. Does that take a lot of time . It takes a thousand times. Jimmy it does take 1,000 times. And why do you shave your whole body . Because i shave my face and shoe and my eyes. Jimmy dylan, i can see your mustache is starting to come off. So im going to let you enjoy the house with the other kids. Okay, great idea. More of the girls are wearing mustaches, right . Jimmy four of the girls are wearing moustaches . Yeah, and my mom. Jimmy your mom has a mustache . Yeah, a bombshell. She has a bombshell moustache. Jimmy shell be delighted to hear that. Yeah, shell be super delighted. Jimmy as the sun set over paradise it was time to force these children to get engaged. Kennedy and aidan hit it off from the start and no amount of chad or ethan could come between their love. Will you be my bride . Its a ring. I got one too. Pretty. Jimmy for them, the decision was delicious. Can you believe these two . Yeah . How old are you anyways . You got a full mustache. Im five inches. Five inches . I mean zero inches. Zero inches old . Uhhuh. Yeah. Well, you got a cool moustache, though. Jimmy bella had a hard time making a connection but sometimes love is right behind you holding a boom mike. Michael the sound guy was bad at his job but great with the ladies and he wasnt afraid to fight for what he wanted. Mine i wanted to give you this. Okay. I guy. Jimmy for other babies it was more complicated. I feel a lot of pressure to marry mason. Marry. Here, i get to see her. He better give me that ring. I cant do it. Give me that ring jimmy would brandon give in to macys ultimatum or walk away with his dignity . Give me that ring. Ill get furious ill give you the box. [ laughter ] this is the best box i ever got. Jimmy and then there was charlie. After her recent split with commitmentphobe brendan, would she take the plunge with clyde . This is for you. I love you. I love you too. Im getting married. Jimmy bad boy alex made it clear hed stop at nothing to win cosettes heart including attempting to murder dominic. But what the producers want is the only thing that matters. So they got engaged. I want you to have this. I so happy. [ applause ] its heavy. There you go. Jimmy with love in the air, so ends the most dramatic, shocking, unbelievable and to reiterate, dramatic and shocking first and final season of baby bachelor in paradise ever before. [ cheers and applause ] coming up next stay tuned for the series premier of baby wipeout. Jimmy oh, that looks good. We have a good show tonight. Dave salmoni and his wild animal friends are here. And well be right back with larry david. [ mo re more more by dagny ] more, more, more how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more how do you like it how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more thisll be the real deal oh yeah thisll be the real deal oh yeah oh yeah steal the spotlight in the new stevie. Right now, get up to 50 off all pants and jeans at old navy. Sold for eight thousand five . Hundred unicorn in rouge. Congratulations, sir. When you need help fast, call us with td asap on the td bank app and skip to the front of the line. Hi alex, i have your account pulled up. How can i help . Oh, uh. Great. Are you seeing this charge from an auction house . That doesnt look right. Ill take care of that. Oh good. Thank you. Because when you need help, you need it asap. Throughout history, the one meal when we come together, break bread, share our day and connect as a family. [ bloop, clicking ] and connect, as a family. Just, uh one second voice guy. [ bloop ] huh . Hey . I paused it. Bam, family time. So how is everyone . Find your awesome with xfinity xfi and change the way you wifi. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Tonight, one of the great animal handlers in all of the world. If you are an animal, his are the hands you want. From animal planet, dave salmoni is here. Dave brought a Mountain Lion cub, hedgehogs, a bald eagle, and a very poisonous viper. But dont worry, dave tweeted this, he wrote, learning to handle venomous snakes today. That was yesterday. So he has at least 24 hours experience with them. Tomorrow night Michael Keaton will be here. From cnn van jones will be here. Well have music from the lone bellow. And the then later this week music from 21 savage and dustin lynch. The host of the emmys, stephen colbert, will be here. New american u. S. Open champ Sloan Stevens will join us, nina dobrev will be here. And on wednesday, former white house stress Secretary Sean Spicer will be here in this chair and question ive been thinking about it. Question number one did donald trump ever kick or bite you . [ laughter ] and then well go from there. For six long years weve been forced to rely on real life to provide us with uncomfortable experiences. But on october 1st we turn to television again as curb your enthusiasm returns to hbo, please welcome larry david. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] stop it does this bother you at all . Is this okay . Jimmy yeah, it does bother me. I dont like to get too close to people. You know, i keep a distance. Jimmy i see that. Its okay. We can do it like this. Ill come over. Jimmy come over. [ cheers and applause ] i think last time you were here you sat in the right chair. I dont know what the problem thank you for coming back. Ill tell you what the problem is. You want to know what the problem is . Last time jimmy yeah. You came into the dressing room and said hello, like a person. Jimmy right. Okay . What . Did the oscar stuff, its all in your head now, huh . Jimmy can i be honest with you . I wish you would. Jimmy first of all, i think they said something last time, larrys not sure he wants to be here, maybe you should say hello to him beforehand. Larry wasnt sure this time either. [ laughter ] jimmy and the reason i dont go back there. I know this sounds ridiculous is it makes me feel stupid when i say hello for the second time in ten minutes. The double hello. Of course jimmy you understand this. Totally [ applause ] jimmy im glad you understand it. The double hello. You know what . Im so glad i brought it up. Jimmy im glad too. Now i know you dont want to do a double hello. I love that. Jimmy thank you, i appreciate that. You know what is worse than a double hello . The double goodbye. Jimmy oh, yeah. We did that on the show. I left a watch. It was a horrible situation. I broke a lamp and a woman was yelling at me and i left and then i two minutes later i left my watch and had to go back in for the double goodbye. Jimmy you dont want to go back in. Horrible jimmy you never want to go back in. No. Jimmy first of all, let me say, you know we got snakes back stage and stuff. Are you an animal guy . Am i an animal guy . No, im not, no no, not even close. No i hate them almost as much as people. [ laughter ] you know . And thats saying something. Jimmy thats fair. Im not an animal person or a people person. And very few of us are neither, its like 2 . Jimmy if you did the venn diagram, it would be very, very small. You didnt have pets . You dont have pets . When i was married i had pets. Jimmy oh, i see. I had dogs. I didnt buy them. She bought them for the kids. Jimmy yeah. Ive never seen depressed animals like that in my life. I couldnt look at them. They were so depressed. You know, they wanted somebody to play with them, i guess. Dont look at me. [ laughter ] i felt so bad every now and then i would give them a guilty pet. Hello, there boy. Hey, boy. That was enough, 20 seconds of petting. What am i going to do . How boring is that, how long can you pet . Jimmy as a child were you the same way with animals, dogs and whatnot . Yes, ive always been the same. I feel like ive been this way since im 2. [ laughter ] but the good thing about the dog is when i came home, somebody gave me a greeting, the dog, you know . Jimmy yes, right. The dog gave me a greeting. Jimmy they wouldnt say anything. You love a good greeting. Right . Jimmy of course. No. The dog would bark. I would get a good greeting from the dog, that was nice. Jimmy yeah. No plans for dogs any time in the future . No. There will be no living thing in my house. [ laughter ] ever. Yeah. Jimmy do people come to your house . Speaking of living things in your house. Do you have guests or parties . Ha ha ha ha ha ha have you lost your mind . [ laughter ] guests or parties . God, no. No. When i was in new york i had a tiny apartment and my mother gave me all the dishes. And i had a lot of dishes. And you know, who wants to clean up . So they would pile up in the sink. And then i then i have to wash all the dishes and i go what the hell do i need these dishes and silverware for . All piling in the sink, all birthy. And every two weeks i would have to clean the whole thing. The hell with this. I threw it all out except one plate, one knife, one fork and one spoon. It was fantastic. Jimmy thats the saddest thing ive ever heard. No, it was fantastic, it was. I didnt have the dish pileup, it was wonderful. Jimmy you forced yourself to wash them after every thing. Yes. Jimmy i hope, anyway. Before the next meal, yeah. Jimmy very practical and really kind of the machinations of a lunatic in a way, yes . I love the word machinations. By the way. I love the word. You pronounced it correctly. A lot of people say matchinations. Jimmy i know, i dont like that either. We have maybe too much in common, i guess. Im not so sure about that. Jimmy probably not. [ laughter ] when we come back were coming back . Jimmy were coming back, well talk about the new program. Im delighted to inform the audial on the show this season. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy larry david is here. Well be right back. [ more more more by dagny ] more, more, more how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more how do you like it how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more latches onto youry finger so hard, its like shes saying i love you. Thats why aveenos oat formula is designed for your babys sensitive skin. Aveeno®. Naturally beautiful babies. My bladder leakage was making me feel like i couldnt spend time with my grandson. Now depend fitflex has their fastest absorbing material inside, so it keeps me dry and protected. Go to depend. Com get a coupon and try them for yourself. Steal the spotlight in the new stevie. Go to depend. Com right now, get up to 50 off all pants and jeans at old navy. The autumn carved turkey is back for a limited time at subway. So much turkey. It now supports multiple users, which is really just a fancy way of saying, this thing knows the difference between your voice and other peoples voices. So if you say, hey google, call mom. Okay, calling mom. [ringing] itll call your mom, not just anyones mom cause that would be weird. I mean imagine if this thing was just calling random peoples moms. I dont think people would really like that feature. Except for every ladies night. Vegetarian. Only glad has forceflex to prevent rips, leaks, and punctures. So whatever you throw in the bag. Stays in the bag. Be happy, its glad. Tmobiles unlimited now includes netflix on us. Thats right. Netflix on us. Get 4 unlimited lines for just 40 bucks each. Taxes and fees included. And now netflix included. So go ahead. Binge on us. Another reason why tmobile is americas best unlimited network. Im going on a target run. You need anything . Toilet paper. Cereal. Maybe some chew toys. Got it. Get new lower prices on thousands of items. Target run and done. You each drive a ford all yes. Ght . Im going to show you a next generation pickup. Awesome. Lets do this. The bed is made of highstrength steel, which is less susceptible to punctures than aluminum. Stronger the better. And best of all, this new truck is actually all laughing oh my. The current chevy silverado. Current chevy owners and lessees get a total value of tenthousand, six hundred dollars. Or, 0 financing for 72 months on this silverado all star. Find new roads at your local chevy dealer. Come on, i cant look at that. Take it away. Hi. Trying to work. Sorry. Whats your problem . No one wants to see this. Very disturbing. Two people arent allowed to be happy . Youre allowed to be happy but not in front of me. So lets move it down. All right. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats larry david and curb your enthusiasm which is finally coming back. You dont do that. Thats no way for adults to behave, is it . Come on, no. Jimmy you are genuinely, that is something that bothers you when you see it . Oh, god. News yating, yeah. Cannot stand it. Cannot stand it. Jimmy people tell you that they are just like you all the time. They feel like a bond with you as far as these strong opinions you have about seemingly innocent things . Yes. Jewish people. Jewish people think that its an inroad to having a good chat with me. Jimmy i see. So theyll come up to me and go, hey. Im a jew. Really well, congratulations to you what do you know about that . Jimmy and its not a good inroad. Are there any really . No not especially, no. Jimmy why did you decide to do the show again after six years of not . I dont see how thats any of your business. [ laughter ] i really dont. Jimmy youre right. I think its a personal question. Am i on Barbara Walters here . You come out, you probe . Jimmy shes retired. Dont probe, okay . Jimmy dont probe. I dont know, i just thought, yeah i kind of missed it. Jimmy has tv larry changed in any way on the show . Whats changed is the way that people yell at me. Okay . Every show, somebodys yelling, cursing, everything. You know, you usually its you bald bastard, things like that. You bald [ bleep ], i cant say that, that will be bleeped. Jimmy yeah, yeah. You know. And it always made me laugh. And then because the show hasnt been on for five years, six years. And now instead of a bald bastard theyre calling me an old bastard. [ laughter ] jimmy really . Yeah, old bastard. Old [ bleep ]. You know . The bald bastard used to make me laugh. But the old. The old bastard, god no. No, i didnt like that at all. Jimmy wow. Yeah. I did not like that. Jimmy the show is structured but basically improv. And people have altered their insults to suit what they think you are because im older now, this is what theyve picked up on. Jimmy maybe you could ask them to stop that. Boy do i miss being called bald. Jimmy you never thought youd miss that. Were you ever selfconscious about being bald . Selfconscious . No. No, you see i never did a combover. Jimmy yeah, you never did that. No. I never flirted with a toupee. Jimmy okay. Never flirted. I did go to the dermatologist and ask him a few questions. Jimmy uhhuh, and he . Is it going to keep getting worse . But you know what i have to say about the whole thing . Jimmy what . Im very proud of myself. Jimmy why . Im not proud of myself for a lot of things. Very proud of the way i accepted my baldness, i am. Im proud. [ cheers and applause ] its the only demonstration of character ive ever displayed in my life. [ laughter ] jimmy really . Yes. In my entire life. How i accepted my baldness. Im amazed i did it like that. I amazed myself. Jimmy you think that is your best quality in general . No. No. My best thats a good quality. That was good. But i think my best quality is that im a great person to break up with. [ laughter ] jimmy really . Fantastic, yes. So fantastic. No histrionics. Theres no scene. You know. Everybodys afraid to say it. But you know, larry, im so sorry, i just dont think we should see each other anymore. Oh, really. Okay, okay, thats good. Thats good. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats your best quality. Thats great. And ill tell you another great quality. Jimmy what is it . Im a terrific mourner. Jimmy oh, really. Great mourner, yeah. Jimmy somebody passes away . Yes, im a very approachable mourner. Jimmy how do you do it . I just make it very comfortable for people to come up to me. So sorry about your loss. Oh, yeah, go have some deli, you know, go eat, go eat. Im good. Jimmy what is your worst quality . While were on this particular subject. Not good in hospitals. Jimmy oh, really. Good mourner but not hospitals. Bad hospital visitor. Terrible visitor. Jimmy why . Because i cant hide the pity. You know. They see through the pity. If they didnt know they were dying before i got there, they know when they look at my face. [ laughter ] yeah. [ applause ] jimmy there you go. I cant i cannot pity bluff. I cant bluff it. I look at them i go how you doing . Im sorry, i just youre not feeling well. Jimmy once they die, no problem. Thats very interesting. Youre more comfortable almost with the dead than the living. Speaking of the dead we have a snake coming out here. Do you want to stay and experience these wild animals along with me . [ cheers and applause ] im going to do it. Jimmy im shocked and delighted. Larry david is here. [ cheers and applause ] curb your enthusiasm is here october 1st on hbo. Well be right back with animals. Stopped into marshalls and found a mug for surprisingly little green. She paired that with some succulents. And suddenly something clicked. That surprise led to a stylish wood mirror, soothing lavender oils, a party llama. Or is that an alpaca . Super soft towels, and an enchanting vase that magically tied it all together. She arranged it all into the greatest guest bathroom ever. Did sophia expect to get so much bang for so few bucks . No. But great things happen when you choose surprise. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. But grecoke zero sugar, whenwith great coke taste. Some people were excited to hear the news, some were skeptical. So were not going to have the star of the show youre watching come out and say youll love it no special jingle written by this weeks hottest pop star no famous internet celebs who happen to be holding the label just so. Okay, maybe just one little pour shot. The only thing that will make you believe coke zero sugar has great coke taste, is trying it yourself. Ice cold coke zero sugar. Try one today. But when we brought our daughter home, that was it. Now i have nicoderm cq. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. Its the best thing that ever happened to me. Every great why needs a great how. Whoo testis this thing on . huh . Cmon your turn mmmm. Where do pencils go on vacation . loud speaker pencilvania pencilvania laughing frosted just right. Crunch in every bite. Kelloggs frosted miniwheats. Not a yes sir, not a follower [thunder by imagine dragons] fit the box, fit the mold have a seat in the foyer, take a number i was lightning before the thunder lightning and the thunder thunder, feel the thunder lightning and the thunder thunder, thunder thunder thunder lackluster lips . Dont think so. Lips lose natural color over time. Chapstick total hydration moisture tint. Our 100 natural moisturizing formulas enhance your natural lip color. Chapstick. Put your lips first. The all new 2018 camry. Toyota. Lets go places. Jimmy hi there, we are back. Larry david is here. Each time our next guest pays a visit to this show, he risks life and limb, specifically my life and limb. To entertain you. Hes a beastmaster whos handy with a hammer, too. His new special pet nation renovation premieres wednesday night on animal planet. Please welcome the canadian tarzan dave salmoni. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy what is this . Larry okay. Jimmy already the animals are out of control. Hello, hello, hello, everybody youre all right, youre all right. Jimmy are you leaving . [ laughter ] jimmy say goodbye to larry, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh my god good night, everybody im leaving too. [ cheers and applause ] this is a Mountain Lion. Jimmy yeah, no kidding. Hi, sweetheart. Jimmy he should be in the mountains. I think it might be lots of applause for him. Jimmy why are you bleeding already . While why are you bleeding every time you come out here . Its for dramatic effect. Jimmy how old this is Mountain Lion . Very young about 4 months old. You can see hes getting used to all the people. See, hes happy and healthy. Do you want to hold him . Jimmy no, i dont want to hold him. Probably a good instinct. Jimmy probably nothing less i want to than to hold him. Honestly. Let me show you fun things about him. Jimmy yeah, okay. A Mountain Lion or a cougar same thing. Jimmy hes looking at guillermo in a bad way. [ laughter ] first thing you might have noticed, except for the teeth and claws, hes got spots still. Babies are born with light blue eyes. You can see his eyes still have some blue in them. Want to show your eyes . Jimmy just like human babies. Born with blue eyes. And human babies and when they are teenagers, they have spots on their faces, too. He has these spots because all jimmy he does not want any part of you. He does, he wants all the parts of me. [ laughter ] jimmy i guess he does, yeah. These spots are going to help him because at this age he is going to hide when mom is hunting. Theyre solitary animals, Mountain Lions. He needs to hide from predators who might hurt him. So the spots help him find a nice little bush somewhere. Jimmy he looks happy, though. He is happy. The difference between happy and unhappy is his ears would be further back. Jimmy is that when we should be worried . [ laughter ] no, in these situations its not a matter of worried. Oh, big guy, yeah, quit showing off. Jimmy yeah, ohoh. Ohoh, lost that. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Thats probably a good idea. Lost the leash. Jimmy god only knows what is in that box. What is in that box . I need some things. Jimmy its yeah. I did not order this on amazon. Im going to tell you that right now. Why dont you come into this chair. Go sit there. This is a very, very venomous snakes. One of the most venomous snakes in the world. You can see im not going the touch the box because it has the largest fangs in the world of any snake and therefore i need you to be stationary. Is that your spot . Jimmy yeah. This is my spot. Okay, thats your spot. As you suggested im fairly new at this. Jimmy i saw that on your twitter or whatever. Im going to use these sticks here. Jimmy yeah . These sticks are going to help me keep my hands and fingers away. Jimmy two shishkabobs the only thing keeping you from getting with dont put him near me, dont put him on my oh, hes a fat little snake. Hes a very, very heavy snake. Im a little bit new at this. Im going to be watching him more than you. Jimmy okay, yeah, watch him. This is a bon viper. You can come close fer you like. You are perfectly safe. One of the things i love about these guys although it is the biggest fangs. You can see the venom sac on the side of his head. See how big that bump is there . That is the largest venom sacs of my venomous snake. He is one of the fastest strikers. This one could strike behind himself. [ laughter ] so even though he is a very dangerous snake, hes super calm. Look at him. Hes chilling out and relaxed. Hes one of the best snakes for me to show you. People have this general fear of snakes and one of the biggest problems is that when people see these snakes they kill them. Theres no real need. This guy has no interest in hurting anyone. Just kind of wants to be left alone. Jimmy how do we know, though . We dont know. If he was going to hurt someone he would be striking at me. Like the Mountain Lion was earlier. Jimmy maybe he doesnt want to hurt people on tv. Because word gets around. That they like to hurt people. Reputation. These are things ive not thought about. [ applause ] Something Else i want to show you about the bone viper is you see this beautiful coloration here on his back. See along his back . Jimmy dont poke him. I apologize, i apologize. Jimmy hes tasting the air now. He is always sensing. Hes a predator. He likes to hunt. He will strike if he gets at something he could strike at. This guy, with that coloration, he could sit on top of the leaf litter and nothing would see it and a rodent would come past and hed use that fast strike, those big long fangs. And he has a venom that is going to attack the cells and the cells start to swell and stop working. Hes going to stay away from it, lets it pass away, and then eats it. Jimmy thats great. I hear they love being in a box. [ laughter ] [ applause ] isnt that true . They do. Jimmy you want to see that snake get in that box . [ cheers and applause ] that would be i would love that too. Why dont we take a break and put the snake where it wants to go which is in the box. That sounds fair to me. Jimmy and well continue with Something Else terrible. [ cheers and applause ] dave salmoni is here. Well be right back