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Mattress mack who opened up his stores and showrooms for those who needed shelter. A group of people who formed a a human chain to save a man from a flooded suv. And j. J. Watts from the Houston Texans who has raised over 18 Million Dollars to provide food, water, and supplies to the victims. And im proud to say that our show, the tonight show, is donating 1 Million Dollars to j. J. s fund. Thank you, j. J. [ cheers and applause ] one of the most inspiring clips i saw last week was a video of two singers, Victoria White and Marquist Taylor, who visited a a storm shelter and formed a a spontaneous gospel choir to sing to hurricane evacuees, and its my honor to introduce them to you tonight. Here to sing a song dedicated to all the heroes in houston who did whatever they could to help, please welcome along with the roots, Victoria White, Marquist Taylor, and their houston gospel choir. [ applause ] sometimes in our lives we all have pain we all have sorrow but if we are wise we know that theres always tomorrow lean on me when youre not strong and ill be your friend ill help you carry on for it wont be long till im gonna need somebody to lean on you just call on me brother when you need a hand we all need somebody to lean on i just might have a problem that youll understand we all need somebody to lean on lean on me you can lean on me if you need a friend lean on me you can lean on me lean on me you can lean on me if you need a friend lean on me you can lean on me oh please swallow your pride if i have faith that you need to borrow for no one can fill those of your needs if you dont let us lean on me you can lean on me you can take me by the hand yeah lean on me ill show you the way yeah woo lean on me you can lean on me lean on me you can lean on me lean on me you can lean on me if you need a friend you can lean on me if you need a friend lean on me you can lean on you can lean on me woo [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. Thank you. Jimmy thank you. Victoria white, Marquist Taylor and their houston gospel choir [ cheers and applause ] this is amazing. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] steve from studio 6b in Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Sarah Paulson, tig notaro, musical guest luis fonsi, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove half seven. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, thats what we want. I love you [ cheers and applause ] oh, i missed you. I missed you. I missed you guys. Thank you so much. Im so happy to be back. Welcome, everybody, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] youre here. Youre here. You made it. Well, theres a lot of news to get to, you guys. On one hand, we have the u. S. Open, and on the other, we have trump saying its closed, and so its just [ applause ] thats right. It was announced today that President Trump is ending the daca program, and may deport immigrants who came to the u. S. Decades ago. Many people are outraged, while melania was like, well, rules are rules. So, see ya. Take care. [ laughter ] you said it, i got to go. Sorry. But first, trump wants the end the daca program, but only after a sixmonth delay. You know, because by then, it will be president pences problem. [ cheers and applause ] but its very controversial, in fact, president obama called trumps decision to end daca wrong and cruel, but if obama really wants to save daca he should say he hates it, then trump will say, in that case, i love it. [ cheers and applause ] i want to double, double the daca. I want a double daca. Double daca. Theres been even more turnover at the white house over the past few weeks, an adviser sebastian gorka, was apparently one of the people fired. You remember gorka . Steve yeah. Jimmy if you dont remember gorka, heres him hes on saying hello here on msnbc. Mr. Gorka, good to see you, thank you for being with us. Greetings. [ laughter ] steve you tell me. Come on. Jimmy the good news is, gorka got a new job that really puts his skills to use. Take a look at what hes doing. Greetings. Jimmy yeah. There you go. Walmart greeter steve oh, my gosh. Thats perfect. Jimmy greetings. Lot of celebrity babies are happening right now. It was Just Announced that Prince William and Kate Middleton are expecting their third child, and thats [ cheers and applause ] kates very excited about the baby, in fact, she said that she can already feel it waving. Isnt that cute . Isnt that [ light laughter ] i saw that Mark Zuckerberg and his wife just had their second daughter. Yeah, and they wrote her a a letter where they tell her not to worry about the future. The new baby was like, yeah, my dad founded facebook, im definitely not worried about the future. [ cheers and applause ] im going to be fine. Nothing to worry. I also want to say congratulations to serena williams, who just welcomed a baby girl. [ cheers and applause ] the doctor gave the baby to serena, then serena returned it, then the doctor sent it back, then serena returned it again, and won the point. [ applause ] it was amazing to watch. Steve fantastic. Jimmy some good news for travelers. The pittsburgh airport is now letting people without tickets go all way to the gate with their loved ones. People are like, seriously, its bad enough i had to give them a ride to the airport, now i got to go to goodbye. Im going to miss you. Take care. Ive got to go through the security area. Steve i got to park. Jimmy yeah, i got to park. I read that a sailboat near greece that was in distress was busted for carrying 1,500 pounds of marijuana. Actually the boat wasnt actually in distress. Turns out it was just being paranoid. [ laughter and applause ] and finally this is the weirdest thing ive ever seen, i think. The other night a local weatherman was giving the forecast when his microphone picked up something kind of strange. Anyway, this is real. We didnt just, check it out. A fairly quiet weekend. Eightyeight, mobile fairhope, eightyeight pensacola, and destine at eightyeight and eightynine degrees in evergreen. [ laughter ] jimmy he was like, eh, it feels like a warm breeze is blowing in from the south. We have a great show tonight guys. Give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much. Thank you. Welcome to the show, tonight, guys. If youre just tuning in now, this is not a repeat. I had a surgery on my finger. This will be hopefully the last one. [ audience aws ] this is the we had a a twoweek break. So i figured this is the best time to do it. Steve why not . Right . Jimmy middle of the summer. Steve yeah, exactly. Jimmy i had a giant cast. I had a giant cast on my hand for two weeks so thats a big cast. Right, yeah. What happened was this doctor, dr. David chu. Hes just a magician. I just love the guy so much. My finger was drooping from the other accident that i had two years ago, right . So he was like, i want to see if we can straighten it out. So he took a tendon, like this thing, out of my wrist, put it in the top of my finger, right . And he took fat out of, like, here, and injected it to look like a finger again, and then, of course, i got xrays taken and he said you dont have any cartilage in the bones in the top joint. So to get cartilage, this is amazing, he took out membranes from my wrist. So i have a giant dudes, i was such a bad ass over the break. I had a scar, i had a cast. Steve yeah. Jimmy i mean i looked really tough. And that was the worst part, the rib thing. Its just every time you laugh or breathe, which i do a a lot of both. Steve you do a lot. You breathe a lot. Jimmy im known for my breathing. Jimmys going to breathe again. Steve look out. Jimmy here he is. Steve whoa jimmy six hour surgery. Steve wow, they put you out totally . Jimmy totally knocked out. The anesthesiologist was like i just went for it. I woke up and i thought that they didnt do the surgery. Did you not do it . Oh no, you were here for six hours. I was like, wow. Its bizarre. So im wearing the cast, and im walking around, and my kids didnt sign it cause theyre too little, they dont understand what signing it doesnt make sense. Theyre like, youre being weird. So i run into howard and beth stern. Howard stern. He goes, nobody signed your cast . I go, i dont know. He goes, how sad. Dont you have any friends . Your kids didnt even sign it . I go, they dont understand what signing is. He goes, well, give me a pen. I want to sign this. So howard signed my cast. I just want to say thank you to howard. [ cheers and applause ] made me look like i have friends. Steve yeah. Jimmy but this is my doctor. This is david chu. This is this morning. He took the cast off. Hes the coolest dude ever. [ audience aws ] isnt he cute . Yeah. Exactly. Hes just cute. He wears a bowtie. Cowboy boots. Pocket square. Hes a welldressed doctor. Hes just a magician. I mean just the fact that he can do that stuff, isnt that just amazing . If you go into his office, you see pictures of what hes done for children. He has, you know, pictures of them now getting married, and having a great life. Honestly, the guy is just a a great human being. So i wanted to thank everyone at nyu langone medical center. Dr. David chu. Thats my guy. Dr. Robert grossman. Dr. Bernard kruger. Lets see i want to make sure i get these name right. Svetlana matai, or matie . What do i do if i get it wrong . [ laughter ] again, i was knocked out for six hours. Steve dont go back in. Jimmy dont go back in. Dr. Svetlana matai. Dr. Sepeda saber. Dr. Jordan frey. Dr. Seth pearlman. Hes the one who knocked me out. Eliza the nurses, eliza, justine, amanda, mira, samantha, negrima, sonya, ray, amelia. All these people helped me out. This is insane how great these people are. Joe cardinelli and alexander rodriguez. You guys, everyone was so great to me, and so professional there, and just took care of me. Its amazing what you do every single day. They do this for everybody. But anyways, i just want to say thank you to those guys. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] hopefully this is the last one. Steve hopefully. Jimmy hopefully. Rehabs next. We have a great week of shows coming up, you guys. Tomorrow night, Seth Macfarlane will be here. [ cheers and applause ] later in the week we have james franco, Kendall Jenner will be here. But thursday, thursdays the show, big show. We got a big show. Nbc, we have the nfl kickoff game, right, on nbc. Thats a big deal, and its the patriots versus the chiefs. Its going to be a giant game. Yeah, yeah. After that, then we come on. Steve boom. Jimmy the tonight show, yeah. We have Reese Witherspoon on the show. [ cheers and applause ] Reese Witherspoon, thursday night. Musical guest, one of the greatest bands of alltime, will perform not one, but two songs. U2 will be here thursday night [ cheers and applause ] oh. But first, we have a fantastic show tonight. We love this woman. Shes so incredibly talented and super funny. She stars in the seventh season of American Horror story, this one is titled cult. Yeah. Shes also in the upcoming film rebel in the rye, Sarah Paulson is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] were going to catch up with her then sarah, and i are going to play a fun game of wheel of impressions. Shes one of my favorite people, from the amazon series, one mississippi, tig notaro is on the show. Steve yes [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and we got great music, the one and only, im talking about despacito. [ cheers and applause ] this is the song. This is it. This song has broken all records. Its got, like, 4 billion hits on youtube or something. Its the numberone song in the country. Its the song of the summer. Im not thinking that. Im not declaring it. Steve it is. Jimmy the people have spoken. Steve the people have shouted. Jimmy its the song of the summer. Despacito. [ cheers and applause ] im talking about luis fonsi is here. Luis fonsi. Its going to be a great show, guys. Stick around. Well be right back with Sarah Paulson. Come on back. [ cheers and applause ] go slow. Come on mom lets go mom slow down for the ones who keep pushing. Always unstoppable. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx scuse me. Mind if i sit here . Not if you want your phone to work. Let me guess, cant livestream your lobster roll. And my mobile pay isnt connecting and i just got an unlimited plan. Right plan, wrong network. You see, verizon has americas largest, most reliable 4g lte network and now unlimited plans start at 40 per line, you know what im saying . Oh, this is your seat. Definitely. Yep. Just tucking it in. I wasnt gonna pull it out. Introducing unlimited for all. All the data you want on the network you want. Now starting at 40 per line for four lines. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is an emmy and golden globe winning actress starring in two new projects, American Horror story cult, which premiered earlier tonight on fx. And also in the upcoming film, rebel in the rye, which opens september 8th in new york. Please welcome the very talented Sarah Paulson [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you are the best. You look fantastic. Welcome. Thank you for coming back to the show. Thanks for having me. Jimmy please, i love having you on. That was incredibly moving, by the way. And and very heartfelt and beautiful. And thank you for doing that, with the choir. It was incredible. Jimmy oh, please. Our hearts are with them yeah, of course. Jimmy our prayers and thoughts are with everyone in houston, ugh. Houston strong. Well, you know well, i was i was born in tampa, florida, so ive been through a hurricane or two, but absolutely nothing close to what whats happened in texas. Jimmy thats awful, yeah. I wanted to congratulate you because last time you were on the show, i think you had just won the emmy for uhhuh. Uhhuh. Maybe. Jimmy people versus o. J. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Yeah, maybe a little thing. No, but then so you win an emmy award and then and then from there, you just you won almost every award, i mean, ive never even heard of these awards, and youre winning them. Seriously, you won the golden globe, you won a s. A. G. Award, a critics choice, t. C. A. [ cheers and applause ] boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And you you made tv history. Youre the only person to win all those awards in one in the same year. This is so embarrassing. Jimmy oh, no, i have to do it because no, it was its one of these things that i still have to pinch myself all the time. I cant believe that it happened. Jimmy but youre just youre just fantastic. And jimmy i want i want to explain this thing. I found this madonna poster thats on instagram. Yeah. Jimmy its not this is a a real photo. Yeah. Jimmy this is it looks fake, but its not. Thats whats jimmy oh, no. Yeah, oh, no. Oh, no. Jimmy did you at the met gala . At the met gala, yes. Jimmy and here in new york, too. Here in new york, yeah. Thats madonna. Jimmy and look at you behind her. [ laughter and applause ] i mean you youre the greatest. You are the best, i love you. This was one of those things where going to the met gala, youve been to this thing, right . Jimmy yes, its beautiful. Its an incredibly glamorous it was a very exciting night. You walk on this giant red carpet, ascending the stairs of the metropolitan. Its really crazy. But its all about your picture being taken in the gown that youre wearing. Thats sort of the thing. Jimmy yeah. Like besides raising money for the museum, obviously. Jimmy yeah. But its about the dresses too. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. [ light laughter ] its about the dresses. And youre standing there and i get up there and im thinking, oh, heres this glamorous moment and then, silence. Not a single photograph was being taken. Nothings happening and im going, wow jimmy and youre posing, youre holding your pose. I am like chop liver. Yeah, im like posing, nobody cares. I look to my left, rihanna is standing above me on the stairs. I look to my right, and theres madonna and im like, well, of course no ones taking my picture. Its rihanna, and its madonna. So that but that was like a a minute. That maybe. 5 seconds where i turned around and went [ laughter ] and then and i literally turned around, i said, madonna, youre stealing my thunder. Jimmy yeah, well thats a a good line. And she couldnt deny it. Jimmy she couldnt she was like, i am, because im madonna and i can do that. Jimmy shes unbelievable, she can do that. Shes the greatest. Shes madonna but she did write, haha, love you, sarah on her insta i mean, its like i died and went, i mean, i danced around to like a virgin and this she said, i love you, sarah. She knows my name [ laughter ] jimmy yes [ cheers and applause ] of course she knows your name youre amazing i dont know, its crazy. Jimmy youre Sarah Paulson, please. Its madonna though, jimmy. Jimmy i know its madonna. I understand, yes. She had a grill, it was crazy. Jimmy oh, did she wear the grill . Yeah yeah jimmy shes the best, man. She said my name, it was too much. Anyway, sorry. Jimmy well i have to talk about two you have two projects. Yes. Jimmy the one about salinger that comes out salinger jimmy september 8th. Yeah, that comes out september 8th, where i play salingers agent, who jimmy rebel in the rye. Rebel in the rye. And i was a mentor to him. I play dorothy olding, who was his agent. Jimmy but then you have american this is cult. Yes. Jimmy this is American Horror series. Theyre always different, every season. Every season is different. And this one jimmy this one is particularly different, because usually i cant say too much about it, because so much comes out in the first few episodes. Jimmy we didnt even get a a clip of it. You they ryan is really he wants everybody to watch it. Jimmy he doesnt even want to air it. He doesnt its not even coming out, so jimmy its not even coming on tv. Never airing jimmy it didnt air earlier, yeah. It didnt air. Jimmy no its just like a black screen with a test pattern jimmy and it said, you know what yeah. Jimmy youll never believe what happened. If there was a test pattern, there wouldnt be a black screen, right . Jimmy that is true. Okay, sorry. Anyway, so anyway. Jimmy oh, no, so yeah. Jimmy what cult. The the show ever year we have some kind of super youre laughing at me. Jimmy well because you make me laugh. Okay, theres some sort of supernatural element every year. [ laughter ] jimmy you just make me laugh, im sorry. Okay. So, listen to me jimmy i am this is important [ laughter ] jimmy go ahead. Okay, so, there are jimmy jimmy go. This is what your wife must feel like all the time, right . [ audience ohs ] [ rim shot ] jimmy i have no idea what this is. I have a rubber chicken. Jimmy i have no that was just back there, i have no idea whats going on. Im so excited. Jimmy why do we have a a rubber chicken in the backstage yeah. Jimmy this was a comedy show, i guess. All right its mouth is agape, its really creepy. Jimmy its weird, i dont know why i really, i just grabbed i just saw a rubber chicken back there. Okay, thats great. Anyway, my show jimmy yes. [ light laughter ] god anyway, its basically every year, we have a we have a a monster, you know, a rubber man, a piggy man, all kinds of monsters. Sometimes its a supernatural element, sometimes its not. Jimmy there you go. American horror story, cult, is a cult. Jimmy yeah, and thats what its and its really funny. Jimmy theres no yeah. No, no, this is its very serious because its really about our inability to listen as individuals and as a country. And so this year, the monster on the show, is the loss of communication as a nation. Thats what its about. [ audience ohs ] thank you, it was worth it. I knew it was worth it. Jimmy well, you finally spit it out. It took you long enough to say it. [ laughter and applause ] i i love you as an actress, but i dont think people understand that you also do some great impressions. I do some, yeah. Jimmy and i want to put that to the test, were going to play a game with Sarah Paulson when we come back guys, Sarah Paulson and watch American Horror story, cult, tuesdays at 10 00pm on fx. Tuesdays jimmy when we come back, were playing wheel on impressions. Stick around, its good. [ cheers and applause ] whoo testis this thing on . huh . Cmon your turn mmmm. Where do pencils go on vacation . loud speaker pencilvania pencilvania laughing frosted just right. Crunch in every bite. Kelloggs frosted miniwheats. Poor mouth breather. Allergies . Stuffy nose . Cant sleep . Take that. A breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38 more than allergy medicine alone. Shut your mouth and say goodnight, mouthbreathers. Breathe right. [laughs] you have a side that is retired playing tag and gettin tired. You have a side that saves for their tuition. But right now it looks like bedtime is the mission. A side that owns your own store. Looks like you need to expand some more. Thats why theres nationwide. They help protect and grow your many sides. Nationwide is on your side. Discover card. Hey. What can you tell me about your new Social Security alerts . Oh well alert you if we find your Social Security number on any one of thousands of risky sites, so youll be in the know. Ooh. Sushi. Ugh. Being in the know is a good thing. Sign up online for free. Discover Social Security alerts. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. Welcome back. Were here with Sarah Paulson. Come on. [ cheers and applause ] everyone knows that youre an Award Winning actress. But not many people know that youre actually a great impressionist as well. So, with that in mind, its time for a game called wheel of impressions [ cheers and applause ] wheel of impressions jimmy now how it works is, were going to take turns hitting this button right here, which activates the impression generator. Itll land on one random celebrity that we can do impressions of. Right. Jimmy and then one random topic. So whoevers turn it is, has to do an impression of that celebrity talking about that topic. Sarah, since youre my guest, why dont you go first . Are you going to give me that mic . Jimmy Kathleen Turner. Oh. Jimmy Kathleen Turner talking about slip n slides. [ light laughter ] so, you have to talk about slip n slides. Okay. Jimmy i have the microphone for you. Okay. Jimmy you can look into that camera there. Kathleen turner 20 years ago, or Kathleen Turner today . Today. Im going to do today. Jimmy if you close your eyes, and its Kathleen Turner today talking about oh, listen jimmy, believe me. [ light laughter ] i know all about slip n slides. Ive walked that long, lonely crocodile mile, and it always ends the same way. You run, you slide, you hit the bump and you take a dive. [ laughter ] jimmy come on. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. She does Kathleen Turner so good. Okay. It is my turn right here. Lets see what i get here. Al pacino. Now, this is not saying, the Young Al Pacino or old. Well, what is it . Jimmy ill do both. Ill do show off. [ light laughter ] jimmy young Young Al Pacino talking to old al pacino about fidget spinners. Oh boy. [ light laughter ] you got to see these fidget spinners. They spin and all your all your problems go away. And oh, wow it is absolutely amazing spinning. Round, and round, and round, and round. [ laughter and applause ] i dont know what im doing. I dont know. I like how you almost threw your neck out, doing that, youre like round and round. And its like i got nervous. Jimmy Young Al Pacino almost sounded like ray romano at one point. No, it was good. [ light laughter ] jimmy okay, good. All right, youre up. You can press the button. Okay. Holly hunter talking about a a gas station. I love holly hunter. Oh, i love her too. This is great jimmy. [ light laughter ] this is so great. I mean, it this is so superior to that a service station on wilshire. So youve got oh, this is great, jimmy. This is so great. I love this. I love this so much. Okay. Youve got all sorts of snacks, skittles, starburst, sunflower seeds, if youre trying to watch your sugar. [ laughter ] thats it. Thats all jimmy oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] oh, my gosh. Im gonna have you do that all night. So does ah, i cant top that. All right. Im going to go, anyways. All right, here we go. Zach de la rocha from rage against the machine. No, come on. Jimmy at a mcdonalds drive through. [ light laughter ] youre laughing already. [ laughter ] all right. Can you give me a Little Something . Zach de la rocha. From rage againt the machine. I love them. Okay. Jimmy all right, here we go. Some of us who want nuggets are the same that want sauces french fry guy oh my my get an apple pie mcdonalds drive through were due theres an emoji in my happy meal [ cheers and applause ] that was very good. Jimmy no, no, no, i tried. That was very good. Jimmy no this is there were nuggets, there were emojis. Jimmy i talked about happy meals, yeah, okay. There were lots of things going on happy meals. Yeah. Jimmy sarah, this is up to you now. This is the last one. Okay no pressure jimmy. Jimmy please. No presh. Is this thing even on . Its not. Its a trick. Jimmy no, its fake. Thats fake. [ light laughter ] thats a rubber thats a a rubber chicken. No, it works. Yeah, this thing is not on. Oh, wait. Now it is. Very good. [ laughter ] very, very well done. They responded to you, paying attention. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy yeah, they really did. You banged it on the desk. Yeah, exactly. Hey. Jimmy is this thing on . Now its broken. Okay. Drew barrymore. My basically my sisterinlaw, we love drew. Shes family. I love her this is so im so. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you. [ light laughter ] im just going to im just, im so honored to be in attendance today. Okay. Thank you so much. Jimmy oh, my god. Thank you. Oh, my im talking about substitute teaching. Im so, so grateful to be here. Jimmy who is the teacher . Who is the her name is abby. Abby adamson, and, oh my gosh, abby, i love your name so much. Its like aaaaah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Sarah Paulson. You cant beat that. You cannot beat that with a a bat. Come on. Sarah paulson. That is all the time we have for wheel of impressions. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with tig notaro, everybody. Come on back [ cheers and applause ] a modern way to pay. You excited . Its sold out. Dont fret, my friend. I masterpassed it you can use it online and on your phone i masterpassed it. You got the tickets . Onward playing the hero priceless masterpass. The secure way to pay from your bank dont just buy it. Masterpass it. sfx sfx teeth chattering sfx crashing tic tac orange. An irresistible burst of flavor. Tic tac. Go little. Take the zantac it challenge pill works fast . Zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. Nexium can take 24 hours. When heartburn strikes, take zantac for faster relief than nexium or your money back. Take the zantac it challenge. We, the people, are tired of being surprised with extra monthly fees. We want hd. And every box and dvr. All included. Because we dont like surprises. Yeah. Like changing up the celebrity at the end to someone more handsome. And talented. Really. And british. Switch from cable to directv. Get 4 rooms with hd, dvr, and every box included for 25 a month. Call 1800directv. Yo and you probably do. Rt youre a beautiful thing. Sc johnson. Feeling good. Pssh. Haha. Being surrounded by friends and loved ones. Loud music. Fantastic i feel like i can take on the world. Walking on the beach with your sweetheart. Love, love. Living for the moment. Appreciated. Joy. Sweet. Flowers. Beautiful woo thats what it feels like. You guys got more . Politicians playing gameston while south jersey gets short changed . Then vote fran grenier. Think its time we had a regular guy, not a lifelong politician . Thats fran grenier. Looking for a fighter to take on the tax hikes and job killing regulations . Elect fran grenier. Want a leader wholl actually stand up for south Jersey Schools and communities . If you answered yes to any of these questions, theres only one way fran grenier. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is a a hilarious comedian. And you can see her in the new season of her show one mississippi. Which returns this friday on amazon prime video. Everyone, please welcome tig notaro [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my old buddy. Together again. Jimmy my old pal, together here we are again together again. You dont remember any of our memories. Jimmy i dont remember any of our memories together, no. [ light laughter ] but i do love your stuff. I love you, too. Jimmy yeah. Hi, how are you . I love you, too. [ laughter ] yeah. Jimmy i know youve been following weve all been following everything thats happening in houston. I know you grew up there. I did spend a portion of my time growing up in the spring and cypress area, which is right outside houston. Jimmy tough, huh . Yes, it is very rough. Jimmy yeah. I actually do you mind if i mention a few charities jimmy i dont, please. And i wrote down a few things that i would like for people to get a pen, write this down if youre paying attention at home. Jimmy yeah. And real quick, off the top, i just want to thank i have friends at Mattress Firm that have been handing out mattresses to people in houston. Jimmy really . Isnt that great . [ cheers and applause ] very very generous. Protect texas fragile kids. They give medical supplies for fragile infants and children. Montrose lgbtq center, theyre open to everyone. Gay, straight, however you identify. Aids, hiv, mental health, youth, seniors. Austin pets alive. Thats a nokill shelter set up in houston. Undies for everyone. God knows we all need a fresh pair of underwear no matter what the weather. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] food, not bombs. Vegan and vegetarian food. And good old houston food bank. So [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats good. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for doing that. Yeah. Yes, yes. Thank you. Jimmy youre been super, super busy. Youre uberfamous now. Your shows a giant hit. Im driving uber. Jimmy youre driving an uber. Yeah. Jimmy you drive for uber and by the way, it was a great drive. Your song selection was perfecto. [ light laughter ] i drove sarah here from los angeles. Thats how i got here from l. A. Jimmy oh my you took an uber . From l. A. My uber. Jimmy your uber, well, hey, thats good. She drove me here the whole way. Jimmy have you had any time to relax, because one mississippi, youre doing that, youre standup everywhere. Yeah, ive been going to a a lot of parties. Jimmy youre a party animal. [ laughter ] sarah . No, i mean you and i have partied together. No, i know. You know i party. I know, yeah. Nothing can stop me. Nothing. Not a busy career. [ light laughter ] jimmy no, nothing. No, not twins, nothing can stop me. Yeah, and im not great around strangers, but im really good in, like, large groups of strangers. [ laughter ] i jimmy what do you mean . Like, what do you mean . Well, i like to do party bits, is what i call it. Jimmy you got some good bits. Yeah, you just like toy with people. Jimmy thats always the best. Well, like what, could you give me an example . Well, i would need your help and your help. If you guys could stand together. Like youre talking kind of closely, in a very crowded party. Jimmy okay. So this anyone can do this bit, right . Not anyone. [ laughter ] jimmy sorry, sorry. It takes a very special person to do this bit. Dont take away my thunder. Jimmy no, i wont. Like, youre at a party, youre very much engaged in a a conversation. I come through, i remember im part of this. Yeah, okay. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, sorry about that, we had a good we had a good thing going there. We were miming we were miming. Im coming through. And just squeeze in through here. [ laughter ] jimmy thats your move . This is yeah. What do you mean, yeah . Jimmy thats the, yeah, thats the youre supposed to people back up. We were backing up. It we were terrified. Jimmy oh, terrified, yeah, thats right. [ laughter ] we can do it again. No, no, what you did was fine. Okay. But that is i stand there and jimmy and you just do that. And just rock it back and forth and stare at a stranger. [ laughter ] jimmy tig, theres something wrong with you. Of course. Jimmy theres something wrong with you. Thats thats jimmy thats a bit you do at a party . Strangers . [ applause ] it is one bit that i do. Its one bit that i do. Jimmy give me another example give me another bit that you do. Okay. Another crowded party, it can be at a bar. All right . Jimmy okay. You have hundreds of people around. You start looking for an imaginary dog. [ laughter ] and youre like, missy, missy. And then you have hundreds of people bent over looking under couches and chairs. [ laughter and applause ] and then after you have the whole party or bar looking for this dog, then you just go, oh, there she is. Come on. [ laughter ] jimmy and leave. And you walk right out. And you walk right out of the party. Jimmy and you just walk right out. That is a fantastic, fantastic bit. [ cheers and applause ] im going to do that. Jimmy i want to talk to you about this is giant. This is your shows doing great. One mississippi, its coming back for season two. Mmhmm. Jimmy for people who have not seen the first season, could you set it up, and what the show is about . Its well, in four months of my life, five years ago, i had been diagnosed with invasive cancer. I had developed an intestinal disease that made it hard for me to eat. It gets funnier. [ laughter ] my mother had an accident and it took her off life support, and was going through a a breakup with my girlfriend and i, of course, was like, this is a half hour comedy waiting to happen. Jimmy waiting, of course. Writes itself. Yeah. Thats kind of what the First Episode of the first season is very true to that time period, and then as the season and the seasons go on, it becomes more fictionalized and and there is humor, but theres a lot of dramatic moments. Jimmy there is. Yeah. Jimmy its a good mixture of both. Thats what we want. Yeah, im proud of it. Jimmy im proud of it, too. I think weve done a good job. Jimmy i think you did a a great job. Youre doing great. [ cheers and applause ] you know we loveip. You. Heres tig notaro in the new season of her show one mississippi. Take a look at this. We just want you to know, despite the controversy around other ministries, it is possible to pray the gay away. What if i want to pray the gay to stay . We dont want that. We want you to stop spreading that sinful stuff and stop talking about it on your show. Well, its my show and if i remember correctly, theres still a 1st amendment. So, feel free to not listen to my show. Oh, wait. Heres a pamphlet. And thats my number on the back in case you need to discuss anything further. Nikki. Nikki, stop flirting with me. Jimmy come on. Come on. Tig notaro. [ cheers and applause ] season two of one mississippi is available friday on amazon prime video. Well be right back with a a performance from luis fonsi. Stick around, everybody despacito. [ cheers and applause ] the big game huh. Boy i wish your mom was here. Instead of over there. screaming i aint afraid to say it. Go blue ill kick it. She needs this kids. Mom needs this. screaming have some. Just get it done. Reliving the glory days isnt always rewarding. But hotels. Com is. Unlock instant savings now and earn free nights to use later. Hotels. Com. What would you do if you had even more time to explore . 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Now get our best offers of the season. On the agile mkc. And the versatile midsize lincoln mkx. Or go where summer takes you in the exhilarating mkz. Hurry in its the final days of the lincoln summer invitation sales event. Ending september 5th. Right now, get zero percent apr plus 1,000 dollars Summer Savings on the lincoln mkx, mkc and mkz. When i walked through for a cigarette, thats when i knew i had to quit. For real this time. Thats why im using nicorette. Only nicorette gum has patented dualcoated technology for great taste, plus intense craving relief. Every great why needs a great how. Whoo testis this thing on . huh . Cmon your turn mmmm. Where do pencils go on vacation . loud speaker pencilvania pencilvania laughing frosted just right. Crunch in every bite. Kelloggs frosted miniwheats. A mihappy birthday, sweetie oh, millies. Trick or treat were so glad to have you here. What if we treated great female scientists like they were stars . Yasss queen what if millie dresselhaus, the first woman to win the National Medal of science in engineering, were as famous as any celebrity . [millie dresselhaus was seen having lunch today. ] [. Rumors of the new discovery. ] what if we lived in a world like that . crowd applauding we know a place thats already working on it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonights musical guest created the undisputed song of the summer which has become youtubes most viewed video of alltime with over [ cheers and applause ] wow. With over three billion views. Performing despacito with a a little help from the roots, give it up for luis fonsi [ cheers and applause ] ay oh no oh no yeah yeah si sabes que ya llevo un rato mirandote tengo que Bailar Contigo hoy vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamandome muestrame el camino que yo voy tu eres el iman y yo soy el metal me voy acercando y voy armando el plan solo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso oh ya ya me esta gustando mas de lo normal todos mis sentidos van pidiendo mas esto hay que tomarlo sin ningun apuro Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito deue cosas al oido para que te acuerdes si no estas conmigo Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito quiero ver bailar tu pelo Quiero Ser Tu ritmo que le ensenes a mi boca tus lugares favoritos dejame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro y que olvides tu apellido pasito a pasito suave suavecito nos vamos p a poquito cuando tu me besas con esa destreza veo que eres malicia con delicadeza pasito a pasito suave suavecito nos vamos pegando poquito a poquito y es que esa belleza es un rompecabezas pero pa montarlo aqu i tengo la pieza Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito deja que te diga cosas al oido para que te acuerdes si no estas conmigo Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito quiero ver bailar tu pelo Quiero Ser Tu ritmo que le ensenes a mi boca tus lugares favoritos dejame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro hasta provocar tus gritos y que olvides tu apellido despacito this is how we do it down in puerto rico i cant wait to hear you scream ay, bendito para que mi sello se quede contigo pasito a pasito suave suavecito nos vamos pegando poquito a poquito que le ensenes a mi boca tus lugares favoritos pasito a pasito suave suavecito nos vamos pegandp poquito a poquito hasta provocar tus gritos y que olvides tu apellido despacito thank you [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats how you do it. That is how you do it right there. Oh, my goodness. Luis fonsi, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thats how you do it, buddy. Catch him on his u. S. Leg of his love and dance world tour starting this friday in las vegas. Well be right back, everybody thats not bad. A standing ovation. [ cheers and applause ] i love you, droolius caesar, but sometimes you stink. Febreze car vent clip cleans away odors for up to 30 days. Because the things you love can stink. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to Sarah Paulson, tig notaro, Victoria White, Marquist Taylor and the houston gospel choir luis fonsi [ cheers and applause ] luis fonsi and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, im seth meyers, this is late night, how is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] that is great to hear. In that case lets get to the news. Former First Lady Michelle Obama dressed up as beyonce to celebrate her birthday this weekend and not as barack thought, to celebrate his. [ light laughter ]

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