“You hold up your relationship like a sacred cow!” Stella* screamed.
“You’re so irresponsible for seeing him so much during a pandemic,” she added, face red, and body vibrating. But just a few minutes after her outburst, she approached me smiling, arms outstretched, saying “HUG?”.
This wasn’t the first time she’d spoken to me so aggressively and then quickly flipped the script. How could someone spout so much venom at me, yet still feel so entitled to my validation? Clearly, we didn’t have the promising, close friendship I once thought it was. Instead, I learned that her behaviour fell under a dysfunctional emotional cycle known as ‘trauma bonding’ - a cycle of manipulative behaviour that amounts to emotional abuse.