Transcripts For WUSA The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170428

There is a base. No announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, ll cool j, phillipa soo,ic musal guest gorillaz, and jon batiste with stay human. Now from ed sullivan theater in new york city city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody audience chanting Stephen Stephen thanks, please have a seat youre too piano riff welcome to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause for those of you checking your calendars, we are nearing the end of trumps first 100 days in office. cheering well find out what that means later. Could go either way. laughter only 1,400 more to go. cheers and applause still cant figure out the mood here. However anybody feels about it, i cant wait for these first hundred to be over with, though. Its just exhausting, watching this man trying to accomplish something. laughter he said he was going to do everything, right . He said he was going to change everything. When he was running, his message was, ill get the job done. Im a negotiator. I wrote art of the deal. its like modern art. When i look at his presidency and think, my fiveyearold could do that. laughter applause take his health care bill. He promised to repeal and relays obamacare, right repealandreplace, promised it but then pulled his bill without a vote. Now he changed his mind and revived it as something people have been calling zombie trumpcare. A lot of republicans arent happy about it because look at the crowds that are showing up at their town halls. screeching tires stephen not happy. But thats democracy. Thats democracy. cheers and applause piano riff stephen and in this new plan, unlike obamacare, states would be allowed to not cover preexisting conditions. It will be, like, state by state. audience reacts not a good deal. Which is why New Hampshire is changing their license plates from live free or die to live here and die. And in preparation for this passing, yesterday, the house g. O. P. Exempted themselves from zombie trumpcare. audience reacts oh, listen, hey, hey, hey, no, do not be too hard on these guys. You have to understand they all would have lost their coverage because being a douchebag is a preexisting condition. cheers and applause right . Jon oh stephen thank you, jon. Thank you very much. And thats just one of the many things trump has almost done yesterday, donald trump careened dangerously close to action, hinting out of nowhere that he was going to sign an executive order withdrawing the u. S. From nafta. But then, he quickly tweeted, i received calls from the president of mexico and the Prime Minister of canada asking to renegotiate nafta, rather than terminate. I agreed. Dot, dot. Adding, dot, dot, dot, subject to the fact that if we do not reach a fair deal for all, we will then terminate nafta. Relationships are good, deal. Very possible so, to recap he threatens to end the relationship, then gets a panicked phone call, and now says the relationships are good. No wonder hes on his third marriage. applause heres his anniversary card. To my loving wife. Happy anniversary. I want to terminate marriage. But love is good. Makeup sex very possible laughter applause makeup sex with mexico and canada. Ive seen those guys. laughter but, hey laughter i just got distracted with the thought of having sex with the Prime Minister of canada. cheers and applause but, hey, im flattered. Im in a relationship. Im flattered, justin. But, hey, heres the good thing, i want you to hold on to this at least were all still alive. For now. laughter because i saw this headline today u. S. Commander not confident north korea will refrain from nuclear assault. Wow note to self move studio to abandoned mineshaft. Of course, that headline is a little unfair. What the commander actually said was that he didnt have a timetable for reaching an Inflection Point, but, he did not have confidence that north korea would refrain from doing something precipitous. I think my pants have reached an Inflection Point because, after reading that, im not sure i can refrain from doing something precipitous. applause obviously, this is unprecedented. It is literal Nuclear War Nuclear war this is an unprecedented Nuclear Crisis with a madman with Nuclear Weapons who says he will use them against the united states. Because of this, yesterday, the white house bussed in all 100 senators for a classified briefing on north korea. Field trip okay okay, everybody have their permission slips . Okay, get a travel buddy. Come on, someone has to be Mitch Mcconnells travel buddy. Touch him, it doesnt rub off. Come on. Mitch, come out of your shell. Mitch, come out of your shell. Someone get him some lettuce. Just feed him a little. Come on. piano riff so why the special trip . Well, according to the senators, they still dont know because, apparently, they learned very little during the briefing, with one anonymous republican saying that the briefing failed to clarify even the most basic questions. So, apparently, it was led by sean spicer. laughter cheers and applause jon good old sean. Oh, heres Something Else trump didnt do but did undo. Yesterday, trump signed an executive order calling for a review of our countrys National Monuments, which could open them to drilling, mining, and logging. audience reacts trying to do the right thing because its important that we finally find out how much oil is in lincolns eyeball. laughter trump specifically has his eyes on federal land in utah where obama created the Bears Ears National monument. Well, leave it to obama to name something after ears. laughter he had large ears. Very nice. They fit his head, though. laughter and while its a controversial executive order, trump really believes in it. Sometimes i look at some of the things im signing. Stephen sometimes he looks at the things hes signing . Sometimes . laughter just randomly . Not all the time . Has anyone tried putting a Resignation Letter in front of him . Its worth a shot. cheers and applause just sometimes . Cold blooded stephen may god help i say, maybe people wont like it, but im doing the right thing. And no regular politicians going to do i dont know if you folks would do. I will tell you, literally, some politicians have said, youre doing the right thing. I dont know if i would have had the courage to do some of these things, but were doing them because its the right thing to do, and its for the good of the nation. Stephen so, after a long debate with himself and people offcamera who probably arent there, trump dug deep and found the courage to call himself courageous. laughter besides thanking himself, trump also thanked his other supporters at the ceremony. I am pleased to be joined by so many members of congress and governors, who have been waiting for this moment. Governor lepage of maine, who, by the way, has lost a lot of weight. laughter i knew him when he was heavy, and now i know him when he was thin, and i like him both ways, okay . audience reacts stephen oh, he likes h i like em fat i like em proud mmm. Mmm. Mmm stephen thats right, john, thats right. I was playing the guitar. applause the job of reviewing our National Monuments falls to secretary of the interior and guy whos trying way too hard to look outdoorsy, ryan zinke. And trump knows why zinke is the right man for the job. Secretary ryan zinke is doing an incredible job. Soon after he was confirmed, we had a snowstorm, big one, and he was out there on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial shoveling the snow all by himself, and hes a strong guy. He did a good job. Stephen really . Really . Thats what trump thinks the secretary of the interiors job is . Then forget zinke, he shouldve appointed Toro Powermax 826. But everythings going to be okay, you guys, because obamas back, baby cheers and applause stephen on monday, barack obama did a forum at the university of chicago and he was fired up and ready to go. Give a speech today to Investment Bankers for 400,000. So hillary wasnt able to continue obamas legacy, but at least obama was able to continue hers. applause i mean, good for him. Good for him. Hes out of office, time to cash in, but,an with that kind of money, you could join maralago. cheers and applause we have a great show for you tonight. L. L. Cool j is here. But when we return, ill tell you my latest midnight confessions. Right over there come on cheers and applause its like nothing youve seen. The power of nexium 24hr protection from frequent heartburn. All day, and all night. Now packed into a pill so small, we call it mini. New clearminis from nexium 24hr. See heartburn differently. At lincoln, were all about making things simpler for you. Like, imagine having your vehicle serviced. From the comfort of your own home. Introducing complimentary lincoln pickup and delivery servicing. Because the most important luxury of all. Is time. Pickup and delivery servicing on the entire family of lincoln luxury vehicles including a complimentary lincoln loaner. Its crispety. Its crunchety. Its a oneofakind experience. Butterfinger. Theres nothing like it. Im dr. Kelsey mcneely and some day you might be calling me an energy farmer. Energy lives here. You know that feeling you get when youre locked in . Its like that, for your mouth. The refreshing citrus kick of mtn dew. cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody right there cheers and applause jon, im pretty excited about our guests tonight ll cool j. Jon mmhmm cheend stephen its not just the ladies who loves cool james. Everybody loves cool james out there. Im also excited because tomorrow night we have mr. Tom hanks on the show. cheers and applause we talk about religion from time to time on this show because im hoping to get this theater recognized as a church for tax purposes. laughter and i was interested in this story the Defense Department recently expanded its list of recognized religions from just over 100 to 221. So there may not be atheists in foxholes, but now there are pagans, wiccans, and members of the schwenkfelder churches, schwenkfelderians, which is a cross between amish and jerry lewis. Schwenkfelderian the lady with the sig ooh ooh denhagen i dont lewis. One of the militarys newest recognized faiths is humanism, which emphasizes the inherent value of human beings you can identify humanists by their symbol, the happy humanist seen here being robbed by the aramark logo. cheers and applause take my wallet ive got children look how happy this guy is. There is no god the stars blindly run well never see grandpa again laughter now their religion, not mine i know grandpas waiting for me my religion has always been recognized by the military catholicism. But i dont participate in all of the rich traditions that i should. For instance, confession. But i like to get things off my chest. So, if you dont mind, id like to confess to you, my audience. You wont tell anybody, right . Audience of course not stephen great. This is Stephen Colberts midnight confessions laughter standard disclaimer i dont know if these are technically sins, but i do feel bad about them. Okay, wait right there. organ music playing softly in the background forgive me, audience. When im at mcdonalds, i always casually say, you know what . Throw an order of fries in there even though id been planning on fries all along. laughter sometimes, when i throw my hands in the air like i just dont care, i actually care very deeply. laughter audience while i wish her well, i do not care about april the giraffe. laughter just never got into it. Audience, usually, when we do confessions, i come up with an excuse to drink liquor back here, but i couldnt think of one this week. cheers and applause i have never filled out a birthday card anywhere other than the bathroom of the restaurant where were celebrating your birthday. Audience, you know how on airplanes, they have that secure your oxygen mask before helping others rule . I dont need to be told that. laughter cheers and applause until i got married, i once went 11 years without changing my sheets. audience reacts at parties, im a big fan of the irish goodbye. But im an even bigger fan of the irish hello when you dont even show up. laughter forgive me, audience . Audience we forgive you stephen thanks. Well be right back with l. L. Cool j. cheers and applause band playing the birds and the bees by dean martin let me tell you bout. The birds the bees and the flowers and the trees and the moon up above and a thing called love. Let me tell you bout the stars in the sk , a girl and a guy and the way they could kiss on a night like this. When i look into your big brown eyes that its time you learned about the facts of life startin from a to z. Let me tell you bout the the birds and the bees lifes as big as you make it. Introducing the allnew seven seater volkswagen atlas and a thing called love. Poallergies . Reather. Stuffy nose . Cant sleep . Take that. A breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38 more than allergy medicine alone. Shut your mouth and say goodnight, mouthbreathers. Breathe right. Skinew bandaid® brand skinflex™ bandages. Our best bandage yet it moves like a second skin. Dries almost instantly. Better . Yeah. Go good thing because stopping never crosses your mind. Bandaid® brand. Stick with it™ cheers and applause band playing stephen wow thats an incredible crowd. I mean, they came back from that commercial just now as if they had just rehearsed it. Unbelievable. Jon thats right. Thats right. Stephen folks, my first guest tonight is a multiplatinum musician who, for the past eight years, has been solving crimes on ncis los angeles. Looks like he was getting rid of evidence. Evidence of what . Gold heists. So comes down here, they fire second comes from behind, catches him by surprise. A hit . Maybe. O fuel cans, two vehicles. O andnly one body. Stephen that means there is someone else here. Stephen please welcome l. L. Cool j cheers and applause band playing okay stephen i like how you gave a little knock out to the camera there. Touched it up a little bit. Stephen i had not met you till two months ago or Something Like that till we sat each other. American song stephen i have been watching you on talk shows for a long time. When did you do momma said knock you out. In the 90s. Stephen i saw you on Dave Letterman do that. Thats funny. Stephen i said, that guy is cool for a reason. Yeah, yeah. Stephen you have been cool since the 80s. How do you keep cool for so long . A lot of people lose their cool at this age. If i really tried to answer that, i would be uncool immediately, right . Stephen you cant name i am so coulibal i am so coo, cool, cool look its a bird, a plane, no, count cool, cool, cool laughter stephen first album was 1985. Stephen okay. Because my producer looked this up and he said the released your first album when were you born, john . 86. Stephen damn it. cheers and applause the first year you released this album, the number one song was we built this city. Now humble. Sit down, be humble stephen are you surprised how hiphop changed the Cultural Landscape . Did you have any sense of it back then . No, if i knew all i know now i would have trademarked a whole lot of stuff, right . But laughter i mean, thats the real answer, right . I can give you the tv answer and the real answer. The real answer is i was making way more money now because i know exactly what to do. You know, i had no idea but it was always big in my world. In order for you to succeed at anything, you have to be obsessed with it, you have to love it, you have to be passionate about it. Community and friends growing up in queens, you know, hiphop was the biggest thing in the world. So, you know, i did notice a change. When i started seeing, like, silverhaired ladies in montana wrapping while rapping while they did mop and glow, and the kids in the background, i knew things had changed, you know what i mean . The landscape altered a little bit. When iowa is like, l. L. laughter stephen when you were first touring and left queens, what was it like to go out of the area where hiphop was known. When i was 16 or 17 we first went to maine on tour, i had to actually explain to the audience what hiphop was and what we were doing. This is the deejay, he has two records. Hes going to extend the break by mixing the records back and forth and im going to rhyme on top of it. The air. When i say, ho, you say audience ho they didnt catch on that quick. Kendrid goes out and tours and says, im an artist but i had to explain. Stephen the fella out there is gonna do some poetry it was crazy, a different world. And they were white. Stephen well, the biggest part of the hiphop audience is still white, white suburban boys . Isnt that the people who pay for the most hiphop music . Yeah, millions of little m ms running around. Stephen god bless em every one. I love em. They bought my records. Stephen somebodys got to pay for that earring. Thats a gift. Stephen an present . Yeah, yeah. Stephen i dont think i could pull that off. You would be surprised. If people think youve got a check, you can pull anything off. You can wear cinderellas diamond slippers and they say, oh, yeah, the style, you know. Stephen im not sure i would start with the diamond stuff to cool myself up. Youre already cool. Youre already cool. Youre already cool. cheers and applause stephen is that the tv answer or the real answer . No stephen its cbs, i want to make sure. Geeks are people, too, right . cheers and applause stephen ill take that as a compliment. Im a classic geek. Thats why i named myself ll cool j. Though people off the scent. Stephen really . Yeah. Stephen do you remember the first rhyme you ever wrote. I vaguely remember it. Stephen how old were you when this happened . I started writing around 11 or 12, songs, rhymes. The rhyme was a around cool jay gives a touch of dismay, i could blow out a candle from a mile away. I could snap my fingers, fly through the air. Im not a mute, no mutation, my rap is strange, create so much power it boils your brains. Yeah, Something Like that. cheers and applause laughter stephen and you had to explain that to the maineers. Oh, yeah, the maineers, if it aint golf and lobster, baby, you in trouble. Stephen ncis, how many seasons . Finishing up the eighth season. The finale is really dramatic. Chris odonnell, great guy. I would encourage everybody to d. V. R. It if you cant watch it live. Its going to be a really dramatic and fun show. Stephen eighth season, ncis los ael crime. So much naval crime in los angeles. Heavy body count. Heavy body count. I would love to know how many characters, each character how many people theyve disposed of. But, yeah, ive learned a little bit about the crime scene. Stephen could you go to a crime scene right now and be, like, ive got this one, officers . I think i know the steps, i have a little backward induction, like, start where you want to end up and reverse engineer the situation. Stephen isnt that called entrapment . Maybe in vegas. laughter vegas is funny. laughter you know, probably dna, you know, looking, yeah, i probably could solve a crime. Thats probably weird. Stephen id watch a show where you have to go solve a crime. A reality show. Stephen you take all the different prorlds on tv and we order people, and put you together to solve a crime. Would take 14 years to solve a crime. Episode , got em i have ncis agents saying, youre making us look bad, solving these cases in an hour and a half. Stephen i got read in for a jury and they said please dont think what well give you is ncis, no camera flying up somebodys knows, no dna swab, they were really mad at people like you on these shows. Thats right. I represent the military, i represent all the people putting their lives on the lines. I went to Camp Pendleton and met the sailors so i could represent the military in a cool way. Its cool. Stephen thanks for representing here. Good to see y ncis los angeles airs sundays at 8 00 on cbs. L. L. Cool j, everybody well be right back with star of hamilton and now amilie on broadway, phillipa soo. cheers and applause band playing the new galaxy s8 has the worlds first infinity screen. Which makes your world infinitely bigger. A camera fast enough to catch this, and intelligent enough to understand what it sees. It connects you to home, and takes you anywhere you can imagine. Which makes it infinitely amazing. Courts in use bros, what are you guys up to . People love progressives name your price tool so much its hard to get their attention. Thats where moves like this come in. [ grunts ] we give people options based on their budget with our name your price tool. What does an incredibly awkward between the legs dribble do . Whats the matter flo . Scared you cant keep up . Jaime swing a wide paint, hollow scoop on three. [ screams ] progressives name your price tool. You dont have to be able to dunk to use it, but it helps. Whew, gravity . For years, fios has been promising fast internet to small businesses. But for many businesses, its out of reach. Why promise something you cant deliver . Comcast business is different. We deliver superfast internet with speeds of 250 megabits per second across our entire network, to more companies, in more locations, than fios. We do business where you do business. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody cheers and applause my next guest originated the role of eliza in hamilton. She now stars in ameelie on broadway. Please welcome phillipa soo cheers and applause band playing stephen congratulations on ameelie starting on broadway. Thank you. Stephen so many congratulations in order for someone of your tender years. Youre 26 years old. Juilliard in 2012. With one of these guys, with yvonda hey cheers and applause Stephen Lovely fellas. Theyre great. Stephen the same year, you were in the great comedy of 1812. Miranda saw you there. He cast you in the broadway cast, nominated for a tony and now starring in ameelie on broad way. Are you sorry you lost all the young years because at 26 i was still putting cracked pepper on salads. I have yet to work a restaurant job. Stephen theyre wonderful. I know laughter but i did spend a lot of time drinking beers on my fire escape wondering when is something going to happen . And it happened a lot sooner. Yeah. laughter but its certainly been a wild ride and quite awesome. Stephen congratulations on hamilton, first of all. An extraordinary musical. cheers and applause unbelievable. I think it probably changed peoples expectation of i think the cultural relevance of a broadway show or whats in there. Do you think its changed peoples expectations of how hip the broadway show needs to be . Oh, yeah. I feel like it was so great on so many levels and there was kind of a saying floating around the theater which its a train and you can jump on it at any point whether youre a lover of musical theater or hiphop or history. There was, like, a way to jump on the train, and i think what was most surprising was that there were so many kids who just fell in love with this score and with lynns music and this story, and that was inspiring. In 1985, if you had done this musical, you would have to explain to people in maine what you were about to do before you did the musical. laughter i got this photo shortly before the show. Can you explain to me what is happening here . Is this an early production off off off broadway that youre part of . Thats off off off off off broadway in lil lil. Stephen how old were you in this photo here . Three or four. Probably three. Stephen what have you cast yourself in here . It looks like the magical headband dinosaur extravaganza, from what i can see. laughter stephen is that how you started, just singing around the house . Yes, i did. I would put on shows for my family and anybody who was around. The house was the house we moved into and we were having a lot of work done, and when we were painting house, the painters were there for a long period of time, and i decided one day to just put on my the coffee table and sing Aretha Franklin songs for the painters who were painting house. Stephen wow. Like what songs . What was your goto aretha . Definite think because being from chicago we loved the Blues Brothers and i loved that scene. Stephen did you know what it means . I didnt know the words. Stephen how do you sing a song without knowing the words . You have your markers. You have the beginning and end. You would be like think think about what you trying to do to me people go around every day mumbling yeah, think you knew the word think had to be in there. Stephen throw it in there as many times as you can. Yes, and im performing this song to the fullest of my abilities. Stephen in hamilton, im talking to the cast members about the people who would come to the show because everybody wanted to see the show. Were there people who wanted to come backstage and other performers who came to see you and you said, i cant believe i got to meet this person . There were a lot of great people. The most geeked out moment i had was with Julie Andrews. audience reacts yeah. Stephen thats the sound you make when she walks into the room. Exactly. Lynn would do this thing. I didnt i didnt like to know who was there before we performed. Lin, when we would exit the stage, he would say, like, Stephen Colbert is here then we would run away from me. laughter then that evening he said, Julie Andrews is here and i went gasps shes really here . I would sugar, so excited to meet her. When i finally got down to the stage to meet her, i couldnt stop smiling, my cheeks were hurting i was smiling so much. I didnt want to stop smiling. Stephen you cant around here. Exactly. Stephen its everything you expect Julie Andrews to be and more. Shes so poised and beautiful and a gift to us all in terms of an artist, right . applause yeah. Stephen the new play at the walter kerr is ameelie. You called this a love letter to theater. Yes. Stephen what is it you love about ththeater itself . I love the community aspect. Whats so great is not only my collaborations i get to have in the room creating the thing, but also the collaboration i get to have with the community im sharing it with. Stephen the audience, you mean . Yeah, the audience. Its a communal were all there coming from different backgrounds having this one experience, and i think thats the power of theater is it can bring people together truly. Stephen i agree. As i told the audience, i like doing to show for the audience but i love doing the show with the audience because were doing it together. Yeah. cheers and applause stephen ameelie is at the walter kerr theatre. Phillipa soo, everybody well be right back with a performance by gorillaz. cheers and applause band playing ear. I see desperation. But i also sopee he. Thousands of people ri arving every day, risking their lives to find a place to live, and find a place to be accepted. I feel its important to take photographs that are going to make a difference. im tyler hicks, photojournalist for the new york times. For all kinds of things. Like walking. Ewarded im tyler hicks, hey, honey. Dad, wheres the car . Thought wed walk. Hes counting steps. Walk, move and earn money. Goal dad. Look at this dad, hes got some moves money you can use on outofpocket medical expenses. Hes ok, yeah unitedhealthcare its crispety. Its crunchety. Its a oneofakind experience. Butterfinger. Theres nothing like it. cheers and applause band playing depression is a tangle of multiple symptoms. Thats why theres trintellix, a Prescription Medication for depression. Trintellix may help you take a step forward in improving your depression. Tell your healthcare professional right away if your depression worsens, or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. Antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. Do not take with maois. Tell your healthcare professional about your medications, including migraine, psychiatric and depression medications, to avoid a potentially lifethreatening condition. With stephen and now, here with their song let me out, featuring pusha t and mavis staples, please welcome gorillaz cheers and applause mama mavis oh, mama they tried my patience obama is gone who is left to save us so together we mourn im praying for my neighbors they say the devils at work and trump is calling favors you say im dangerous i speak for the nameless i fly with the vultures i be with them bangers if change dont come then the change wont come if the bands make em dance then the rain gon come whoo am i passin into the light am i looking into mercys eyes look into your eyes all the worlis hands then ascending into the dark let me out you got to die a little if you wanna live change come to pass change come to pass youd best be ready for it something ive begun to fear is about to change its form yeah, yeah, yeah its a shift in time but i wont get tired at all let me out let me out let me out let me out look into my eyes mama, tell me what you see tell me theres a chance for me to make it off the streets tell me that i wont die at the hands of the Police Promise me i wont outlive my nephew and my niece promise me my pastor isnt lyin as he preach tell me that theyll listen if its lessons that i teach tell me theres a heaven in the sky where there is peace but until then i keep my piece in arms reach yeah am i passin into the light am i looking into mercys eyes all the world is out of your hands then ascending into the dark another night you got to die a little if you wanna live change coming hey youd best be ready for it something ive begun to fear is about to change its form yeah, yeah, yeah its a shift in times but i wont get tired at all am i passin into the light am i looking into mercys eyes all the world is out of your hands then ascending into the dark another night you got to die a little if you wanna live change is coming youd best be ready be ready uhhuh, uhhuh ready for it be ready be ready oooh oooh let me out youd best be ready for it youd best be ready for it youd best be ready for it youd best be ready for it cheers and applause stephen their album, humanz is out tomorrow gorillaz, everybody well be right back. Well its a perfect nespresso morning here, george. Hold on a second. Mmm. [mel torme sings comin home baby] hey there. Want a lift . Where are we going . No dont tell me. Let me guess. Have a nice ride. How far would you go for coffee thats a cup above . I brought you nespresso. Nespresso. What else . Did you know slow internet can actually hold your business back . Say goodbye to slow downloads, slow backups, slow everything. Comcast business offers blazing fast and reliable internet thats over 6 times faster than slow internet from the phone company. Say hello to internet speeds up to 250 mbps. And add phone and tv for only 34. 90 more a month. Call today. Ascomct business. Bu foilt r business. Stephen well, thats it for the late show, everybody please tune in tomorrow when my guests will be tom hanks, anna baryshnikov, and comedian sarah tollemache. Now stick around for james corden and his guests, kurt russell and thomas middleditch. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where you come from its gonna be all right its the late, late show lad hees and gentlemen, all the