Is this gettings fixed . Okay, im allergic to feathers. Im sorry. Is this i was not informed. Am i supposed to be singing right now . laughter okay. Weve got a great show. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes Oprah Winfrey. And musical guest pretty yende. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in norew yk city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey he, everybody whats going on woooo hey, jon. He were he were. Welcome to the late show. Thanks so much. Please. Folks, welcome to the show. Have a seat. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Happy new year, everybody. cheers and applause its going to be a great one, all right, clean slate. Everybody got your new years resolutions. Jon yeah. Stephen got anything good . Jon yeah, i want to try to be a better friend. Stephen are we flendz . Jon we are friends. Stephen i think were friends. We go out to dinner and share secrets. Jon were not just tv friends, were real friends. Stephen actual friends. Youve been a very good friend to me. Jon i eellike youve been a good friend to me and im glad to know you. Stephen could i be a better friend . Jon i dont, i dont ill get back to you on that. Stephen sounds like i could be a better friend. I have a new years resolution. My resolution was to have Oprah Winfrey on the show. And so cheers and applause is she still here . Shes here. Oprahs here. Yeah. You can tell that oprahs here. All these lights are running off the energy put out my her body, all the positiveness. Anyway, its great to be back. Ive kind of mis being out here with you guys and you guys out here. You know who else is back at work this week is the congress. And today big fans. Big fans out there. booing today is their first prejudicial dave work, but republicans thought theyd come in yesterday just to get a jump on it. Theyve got so much they promised to do defeat isis, cut taxes, fix our trade deals with china. So, naturally, the first thing they did yesterday was eviscerate the office of congressionalethics. Yeah, they gutted it in a secret vote which seems, whats the word . Unethical. If only there was some office in congress that could investigate that. See, heres the deal. Instead of having an independent office to look into the ethics of the people of congress, republicans thought it would be better for congress to investigate itself. Its like if kids got together and said, listen, shana, youve been a great babysitter, but we took a secret vote to send you home. Leave the cigarettes. Byebye. The g. O. P. Plan also barred investigators from considering anonymous tips against lawmakers. Its like the old saying, if you see something. cheers and applause all this seems kind of stechy, right, it doesnt seem quite right but the guy who came up with the plan, virginia congressman bob goodlat, defended it saying, the office of congressional ethics has a serious and Important Role in the house, and this amendment does nothing to impede their work. So, its not bad, which is why they did it in secret, behind closed doors. laughter thats where you do all the stuff youre most proud of, like when youre a teenager and your mom walks in on you. Mom, please, close the door im being ethical in here its natural at my age to be ethical. Im looking at my ethical magazines. laughter heres the switcheroo. They were supposed to vote on it today, but today, House Republicans pulled the plan after donald trump criticized it in a tweet. Man when donald trump calls you out for being unethical, thats a wakeup call. laughter cheers and applause that is thats not good thats like thats like if Keith Richards told you to moisturize. If im not mistaken and im not that was not trumps only holiday tweet. He also said, the u. S. Consumer Confidence Index for december surged nearly four points to 113. 7, the highest level in more than 15 years thanks donald you heard that right. Donald trump thanked himself in the third person. laughter and Stephen Colbert thinks thats crazy. laughter applause thanks. Thanks, stephen thanks thanks, stephen youre welcome. And when was this, years . It was on new years, donald trump tweeted this message of unity, love applause love love love thats right, thats right. In the holiday spirkt donald trump is loving his enemys. It reminds me of jesus famous tweet cheers and applause not sure what gospel thats from. Not sure what gospel that ones from. Donald trumps hallmark of sending well wishes while simultanly enemies is the basis of a new line of exclusive trump greeting cards. Do we have them here . Lets look at some of those right now. Trump greeting cards. This is nice. This is nice. laughter applause love spanish. How do you say love in spanish . Amoir heres a get one. Oh, okay. I like this one. Heres a trump card that says, laughter applause based on a true story. Based on a true story. Oh, this is a nice sentiment. laughter applause again. Jon oh stephen based on a true story. Cant make this stuff up. Here is another sweet card laughter applause heres an anytime card. This is an anytime card applause those are for sale. cheers and applause those are for sale. And speaking of vladimir putin, theres big news on the russian hacking scandal. Over the holiday break, president obama kicked out 35 Russian Diplomats he said were spies, just showed them the door. Christmas. But remember, russian christmas is on a different day. This year theyre going to be celebrating on january 20. Jon oh oh oh stephen love love putin responded to these deportations by doing something absolutely shocking taking the high road. Because he not only declined to expel american diplomats from russia. He also invited the children of u. S. Diplomats in russia to a new Years Eve Party in the kremlin. So sweet. Thats a really nice gesture. In fact, each child was given a holiday gift of a teddy bear with real moving eyes. It follows you around the room. , of course, president elect ptrum defended america by supporting russia tweeting mr. Trump, putin is not the laughter applause cheers we know hes smart. And look, here is why donald trump defended putin. Even though all intelligence sources agree that Russian Hackers tried to influence our election, donald trump does not buy it. In chief . Is donald trump going to fight Floyd Mayweather or something . Is donald trump going to get a face tattoo and bite Lindsey Grahams ear off . I would watch that on payperview. Plus, donald trump says he doesnt have to listen to anyone about hacking because hes the realtech genius. I know a lot about hacking, and hacking is a very hard thing to prove. So it could be somebody else. And i also know things that other people dont know, and so they cannot be sure of the situation. What do you know that others dont know . Youll find out on tuesday or wednesday. Stephen tuesday or wednesday. He needs time to digest the information before he yanks it out of his ass. We have a great show for you tonight. Oprah Oprah Winfrey is here stick around. Love [instrumental music plays] [microwave beeps] [heart monitor beeps] hasta luego, profesor [pumping of bike tire] [pumping of hospital ventilator] [tapping of pen] [tapping of shoes] hey ramirez un poquito mas rapido, no . [laughing] [wheel squeaking] hey carlos, manana Carlos Carlos dr. Brad needs to see you in room 3. Todo el dia right this way. Yes, one second ill be right there. Then shielding lubrication. And cooling. Brrr. With lubrication before and after the blades. Shields and cools while you shave. Proshield chill from gillette. catchy up eat music so tasty. What bad back . Gels work so fast youll ask what pulled hammy . Advil liqui gels make pain a distant memory nothing works faster stronger or longer what pain . Advil. Fios is not cable. Were wired differently. So were offering incredibly fast 150 meg internet, hurry, freddy, youre gonna miss it coming. I cant believe he is doing this. Its so fast that in the 3. 7 seconds it takes gary watson to beat the local sled jump record, held by gary watson. Fly, gary, fly. His friend can download 13 different versions of the perfect song. His sister can live stream it. While his mom downloads how to se a dislocated shoulder, all at the same time. Gary. This is your last chance to get incredibly fast 150 meg internet, tv and phone for just 79. 99 per month online for the first year, plus a 150 dollar visa prepaid card with a twoyear agreement. Hurry, this amazing offer ends january 21st and phone for 79. 99 per month. Only from fios. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody jon batiste and stay human, everybody give it up happy new year. Happy new year, jon folks, welcome back to the show. My guest tonight is a woman so famous, she needs only one name. Please welcome Oprah Winfrey cheers and applause join hands start a love train love train people all over the world join hands start a love train love train that guy is so good. cheers and applause jon batiste cheers and applause stephen happy new year to you. Happy new year to you. And i was saying to your team, its usually hard to get a guest on, like, tonight. Stephen the first night back. The first night back. So i booked myself a couple months ago. I just called and said you are the best. I wanted to make it easier for you you. Stephen are the best. Thank you. Its hard. Stephen are these new . Are these glass new . Well, for years i wore contact lenses and then i got an eye infection and i started wearing glasses for it to clear up, and after it cleared up i kept wearing the glasses. Stephen they look fantastic. Thank you. These are real. Stephen could i try those . You will not be able to see. Youll see how clined i am. Lets see. laughter applause see i have no idea who you are. Because i really cant see you. Stephen you really cant see. This is like youre playing with this. What is this . I really cant see. Stephen yeah, yeah. Its real. Stephen no one will ever accuse you of lying. Good. Stephen do you have new years resolutions . Because mine was to have you on, and im holding it so far. Do you have new years resolutions . Well, i stopped doing it. You know why . Because i used to have these, like, really high goals for myself. Like, i would eye remember, like, in 99 or something, going into 2000, i wanted courage. I want more courage in the year. Or i want more passion. You know when you ask for courage, you get a whole lot of other stuff thats not. Stephen you get a lot of things you need to be courageous about. So i said im not asking for that no more. I dont want courage. And if you ask give me the strength to say, lord. Thats right. And if you ask for love, you get the opposite because you have to show how you can love people in spite of their, you know, failings. Stephen youre blowing my mind right now. Im telling you. Stephen wow. So i am just like, chill, whatever you want, god. Im okay. cheers and applause stephen ill try that. Thats good. Im okay. Im okay. Stephen thats good. Now, you had the first ladys exit interview. Yes. Stephen right before christmas. Yes. Did you see any of it. Stephen i didnt. Did not its okay. Stephen i did not. I did not. Im sorry. I was busy being with my family. As you should have been. Stephen thank you, thank you. A lot of people with their families and they watched that special on cbs. laughter applause cheers a lot of people they actually tweeted, oprah, were here with our family. Were watching. But i understand. I understand. Enough to deserve it. It was fun, though. But, also, a little you know, it was bittersweet. Because i had done a similar interview for the magazine in 2008 when the girls were just, like, baby children. And baby childrens and, you know, the thing that im going to mis the most i actually said this if you had seen the interview, you would have heard me say this to her. laughter . Stephen youre making me regret being honest, you realize. No, i appreciate it. You know what i really appreciate that you didnt say, oh, yeah, i saw it. Im not kidding. I really appreciate that. Stephen okay. You didnt dvr it, either. laughter applause its okay so, the thing oh, oprah, im so glad youre here. But the thing that i said to her that im really going to miss is just the presence there. You get a Christmas Card, right, from them, every year . Stephen uh. You did. Stephen i got a Christmas Card, yes. You did. So over the years you get the Christmas Cards. And the girls have grown up. And this years Christmas Card was, like the whole family, and the girls are all grown. Stephen beautiful gowns. Beautiful gowns. And for me, you know, African American woman. African American Woman being able to see that reflection of myself through the girls and through her, just their presence there, im going to miss that. But it has meant so much to me. cheers and applause stephen yeah, extraordinary. Yeah. The as i said to her, the kind of the way shes handled all of it, you know, the critics from the beginning, the way shes handled everybody likes her on both sides of the aisle. They didnt start out that way. They did not stewart that way. Stephen strength of character. Thats right. Stephen do you think theres any chance shell run for office . Never stephen really. Never, no, i do not. Stephen is there any charismatic African American woman that both sides of the political aisle. cheers and applause really love. Never never never no, no its not my thing. Stephen but people do both sides of the aisle love you. The proof swhile all other magazines are dying, yours is still going strong o magazine right here. Look at that. Look at that. I can ask you about this. Stephen what. Stephen can i ask you. This line right here. How do you how do you bring yourself to lie next to a lion like that . You dont. Stephen you dont . No, you dont. The lions was shot before i got there. And the lion it was in a cage with the photographer. And then they put a guy in a lion suit. Stephen theres a guy in a they put a guy in a original lion, and then i lay up against the guy in the the lion suit. laughter because i aint crazy. Im not, like doing that stephen im glad you were honest. Im glad you were honest about that. I would hate to think you would lie to me. applause everybody says cheese. Thats not good. You want to say, yay yay one, two, three. Yay look at how good you look stephen love yay stephen were going to take a little break here, but well be right back to talk about your new book. Stick arounds, ladies and gentlemen. Yay they gave me the opportunity to support myself from being on the streets. Pay for the next person. Wow, that is very awesome. Enjoy your phone you too. All right, be cool. You got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at t. What . . Aand you got unlimited data because you have directv . . laughs to self in disbelief okay, just a few more steps. Door its cool get the iphone 7 on us and unlimited data when you switch to at t and have directv. During the final days of itthe ford year end event. Ve season on ford, americas most awarded brand. With the most 5star ratings. And the highest owner loyalty. Giving drivers what matters most. Thats how you become americas bestselling brand. Just announced, get 1500 total cash on select models, on top of the best offers of the season. Hurry, the final days of the ford year end event end january third. Babdo you want any . P. No thanks. I have a salad. Theres nothing like a bowl of campbells chicken noodle soup. And salad. Made for real, real life. Stephen welcome back, everybody. cheers and applause were back here with our friend Oprah Winfrey. Those guys are so good. Stephen theyre an amazing band, incredible. And i didnt know there was a christmas album until today. Stephen what. Yes. Stephen its fantastic. Christmas with jon batiste tearing up the charts. Stephen its incredible. You gotta get it. Even though the hol day is over next year. Stephen no, no, it will keep christmas in your heart every day of the year. Speaking of pushing product. You have a new book here called food, health and happiness. Food, health and happiness. With Oprah Winfrey. Thats you. laughter how do you like, you do so many things. How do you pick, like, which projects youre going to do . Like well, so i started Weight Watchers. Ive lost 42. 5 pounds cheers and applause . Stephen wow. And i and everybody who came to my house was saying things like, oh, gosh, i thought you were on Weight Watchers. Youre eating tacos. I cant believe youre eating truffleles and stuffed tortellini. Stephen thats how your friends talk . They do. Stephen youve got to get new friends. Everybody was talking about all the food we have at the house. And i said you can eat anything you want on Weight Watchers. Thats the whole point. Whs the first time, Everybody Knows i have had a few struggles with food. And its the first time ive actually felt that i have gotten it under control, that this is a lifesustaining program applause . Stephen is this a diet book . Its not a diet book. What i did was because Weight Watchers counts points, not calorie s. Stephen how do you win . How do you win with point . Is it a low score or high score. I play my point. I have 30 points a day. Every food has a point and i play it like a game. Thats exactly how i do it. Stephen really . At the end of the day, like, tonight i didnt eat a whole lot although you did have bread for me in the green room. Thank you. Stephen youre welcome. I eat four point of bread, i had an egg. Im going into the night with 21 point for dinner, you know,. Stephen so 21, so bring me the fettucine alfredo. I can do that and a couple of glass of wine if i wanted to tonight, i could. So thats the way i play the game. But this is not a diet book. Its a book about myo really . It is. Stephen a memoir. What are some of your happiest memories of food . laughter like childhood memories of food . Okay, guard, like here, on the beginning first page where i talk about laughter . Stephen want to ask me if i read this . Im not. I know better than to do that. applause thats on my farm. At the end of lassie was a campbells soup commercial. Where mom would say, timmy, come here. And she would serve him it was Product Placement but i didnt know that at the time. I actually thought, oh, gosh, little white boys get soup from their moms. You know. I r could only serve me soup, that i would mean i associated that soup as a love thing, you know,. Stephen wow. Thats lovely. Speak of love and food, the last time you were here we were talking about a beautiful series on religion. Yeah. Stephen so the last thing we were talking about was god, and this one is about food. Yeah. Stephen okay. Jesus said, man cannot live on bread alone. Yeah, but if he can, make it good. laughter make it seven grain, i say. Stephen exactly. applause cheers go ahead, i dont know where youre going with this. Fish. He was doing real well with that. Stephen thats nice. Its based on how tall you are and what your weight is. So you would probably get more point than i would because youre taller than i am. Depending on your weight sight. I get 30, i know some people get 40, 42 point a day, depending where you are in the program. It has worked for me and its not a diet and ive not sacrificed one day of losing 42. 5 pounds. Thats what i want you to know applause . Stephen one of the questions one of the chapters it says, chapter two, what are you really hungry for . Oprah . laughter . Did you that very well. Stephen what are you really hungry for . I really am not hungry for anything right now because my favorite word, as i say at the end of this, is ive come to a point where, you know, ive achieved a lot of things and done a lot of things and have a lot of stuff. And i talk to a lot of people who also have achoafd a lot of things and done a lot of things, so my favorite word right now is contentment. I am so content with just the simplest things, you know. Actually, the picture that best describes me i think is there is a picture in the back of this book that if you want to say who am i really in my most private moments that im not even instagramming, thats who i am. Thats who i am. You see that . Thats my dog luke and my dog lalay. applause yes and i just stood there and i thought, wow, ive been able to live this long. I know so many people with who didnt make it to this number. Im just going to appreciate who i am and where i am and this body as i have it. applause yeah stephen youre going to lose weight yeah you know how that started . John travolta was on my show many years ago, and i was i just love John Travolta. Isnt he a great guy. Theres just something about John Travolta. And i said, coming up next John Travolta and it just sounded so good. I was just so happy to be talking to John Travolta stephen ive got a challenge for you. Are you up for a challenge . Sure. Stephen okay. What weve done is weve come up with some things that are nearly impossible to be excited about. Okay. Stephen some statements, some sentences that you cannot cannot be said in an exciting way, but we believe that you have the power to make even these sentence sound exciting. And if you wouldnt mind. cheers and applause id like you show me how to do it and ill try to do it with you. Well do it dignitary, other, what are they . Stephen this is oprah helps stephen make anything exciting okay, ready. Stephen this is you right here. This is me right here. Stephen this is the first thing, even oprah can make this sound exciting your flight has been canceled applause stephen thats nice. Another you go. Stephen ill try it. The lasting feesktz Climate Change are irreversible applause . This is bad. laughter this is not good. You can make it sound good. Okay. The tests are back. You have chlamydia cheers and applause stephen and you have chlamydia and you have chlamydia and you have chlamydia scientific are going to cook a sexy breakfast. applause hey dad wishes do come true. The lincoln wish list sales event is on. Get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. The final days of the lincoln wish list sales event are here. Get a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complementary first months payment. Imy moderate to severeng crohns disease. I didnt think there was anything else to talk about. But then i realized there was. So, i finally broke the silence with my doctor about what i was experiencing. He said humira is for people like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohns disease. In clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira and many achieved remission. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. If youre still just managing your symptoms, talk with your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, remission is possible. Feel a spark of emotion light up every inch of you. Our big beautiful candle. Feel glade. Sc johnson. applause . Stephen back back, everybody. Were here with the lovely Oprah Winfrey. She has a new book food, health and happiness. And right now, im in luck because oprah is going to teach me how to make what do you call it a sexy breakfast . Sexy breakfast. Stephen what makes the breakfast sexy . Do you eat it naked in front of a fulllength mirror . Youre going to make the salsa. Thats what makes it sexy. There are little jalapenos in there is there a little tomato, a little onion. Garlic. Stephen and a couple of those in there. And a little salt. I think you need one of these, too. Stephen what is that . A pepper. Thats sexy. Stephen all right, there you go. laughter we have a reluctant tomato. laughter which was actually my stripper name when i was younger. laughter applause okay. So, while im doing this what, do we do next . Let me just oh, yeah oh, yeah, this is good. Stephen juice it, baby okay, im salsaed up over here. What i do, an egg is to points. Stephen another great. And three egg whites is one. So this would be, like, three points. And i always add, like, a yolk to three whites because i like not just eating egg whites but the y very idea eye like my eggs to be yellow. Stephen me, too. Just hold that right there. Stephen why do i have a giant, murderers knife in my hand . What is this for . What am i slooising. You would be slicing a little avocado right now. Were making this . Stephen lets do it, man. Whats your indulgent food . Whats the thing you just sort of give in to if you im a big, big, big truffle person. Stephen truffle . Person. Stephen hold on. What is this . Its called truffle zest. Holy cow. Its shaved truffles in a jar. Stephen wow doesnt it look at that. Intense. Im just making a little egg here. laughter applause no, no, okay. If you do this, you can guys can smell it. See. Stephen you guys want to smell this real quick . Its powerful. Audience wooo isnt that powerful . Is there now, truffle zest. Is that only for no. laughter no. Stephen you rub this under your arms . No, no, no. You dont like truffles, right . Stephen i love it, but theyre really expensive, right. Its like 12, okay. Stephen work the market in truffles has crashed. What to i do . Ive got the salsa. Ive got my avocado. Okay, good, and now were going fight little youre going to put the salsa on there. Im not sure about yours. I would rather try this. Stephen hold on. This is probably going to be huh . Stephen yeah, thats better. Okay. Yeah, i saw that. I saw what. Stephen that is super hot. Wow. Okay. Oh, my goodness oh, lord. Sexy. Oh, lord. Stephen what do i do. Wheres my zest. Stephen the truffle zest on that. Yeah stephen how much . Do it around the edges. Stephen there you go. Thats not good. I just wanted you to take a little bite of this. Okay, good, sex, sexy. Okay. Sexy breakfast. Stephen lord, have mercy. Come on. Talk the truffle part, too. Stephen that is sexy. Stephen that is extremely sexy, and im in a relationship right now. Good though, right . Stephen that is absolutely gorgeous. Now, can i eat that three times a day . You dont have to. Stephen no, but can i . I dont want you to get bored one thing. I want you to have some pasta for dinner or if you want tacos or something, fish, a big salad. I dont want you to eat just one thing. No. Thats whole point. Youre gog balance. Youre going to have a great time. Youre going to eat the foods you love, thats it. Stephen love love stephen yay yay. Stephen the book is food, health and happiness. The woman is the one and o oprah. Thank you well be right back with a performance by pretty yenday. A post using the hashtag justrobbedthesafe so, what are we supposed to think . Switching to geico could save you a bunch of money on Car Insurance. Excellent point. Case dismissed. Geico. Because saving fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance woo because saving fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance is always a great answer. Digiorno . On. Its not delivery. Its digiorno. Come on why doesnt verizon offer unlimited data like tmobile . Is it because their lte network was built six years ago . Six years ago . Thats like a hundred. In phone years. Their lte network is older, slower, and they limit you. Switch to tmobile. The ne fwer,aster, and unlimited network. We cover 99 of the americans verizon covers. Get 4 lines, just 40 a month. Rrowl. Or is this your cans year . Your cans thinking houston. Dont jinx it your can is houston. So dress like this guy and play like this guy. You cant catch me. Broadway cans. Breakout cans. Cans with a whole extra man. Whether youre wearing beads. Stripes. Or cheese. If you bleed blue, black and yellow, or various shades of red. Beer with my team on it. New aveeno®. Dont just eat yogurt. Wear it. Daily moisturizing body yogurt. H the nutrients found in greek yogurt, intensely nourishes skin for 48 hours. Aveeno®. Naturally beautiful results®. Then shielding lubrication. And cooling. Brrr. With lubrication before and after the blades. Shields and cools while you shave. Proshield chill from gillette. catchy up eat music so tasty. Performance from the metropolitan opera production of the barber of seville, ladies and gentlemen, pretty yende prima di cedere. cheers and applause cheape stephen her debut album, a journey is out now pretty yende, everybody well be right back. With the xfinity tv app, anything with a screen is a tv. Stream 130 live channels. All on the go. You can even download from your x1 dvr and watch it offline. Only xfinity gives you more to stream to any screen. Download the xfinity tv app today. Stephen thats it for the late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be kate beckinsale, chris messina, and jen kirkman. Now stick around for james corden and his guests. Janelle monaae and milo ventimiglia. Good night are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where you come from its gonna be all right its the late, late show announcer ladies and plntlemen, all the way from