Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes tim kaine, mark strassmann, tony hale and car seat headrest. From new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey thanks, everybody whoo whats going on . cheers and applause hey cheers and applause . Stephen hey, thank you so much thank you so much whats up . Good to see you. Welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Can you feel the electricity in the air . Cant you . cheers and applause were making the turn into the general election right now and the first debates are just a few weeks away. Monday, september 26. Trump vs. Clinton. This time its president ial. laughter and im proud to say the late show will be broadcasting live right after the debate. This fall. cheers and applause every night. Stephen every night. Well be there. You will want to tune in anything can happen. Because, during the debate, im going play this game where i drink the whole time. laughter anytime they talk. Anytime they talk. applause now, this is interesting. You know how, when the candidates are preparing for the debate, they get a sparring partner . Someone to play against so they could figure out what their opponent is going to be like . The party acts like their opponent so theyre ready for that. But trump is so unpredictable, the clinton folks are having a hard time finding a debate partner for her to practice with. I dont see what the problem is. Just put a jack o lantern on a drunk bear. Youre done cheers and applause meanwhile, last week we found out that former fox news c. E. O. , roger ailes, is advising donald trump for the debates. Sexual harassment. So dont miss this truly historic debate when americas first female president ial candidate gets called sugarcakes. laughter applause what its a compliment its a compliment stephen yeah. Trump was in jackson mississippi yesterday, where he was joined on stage by nigel farage, one of the master lets say minds of the British Brexit from the e. U. I dont know what the folks of the deep south have in common with angry white people who want to leave a union. But evidently, they liked him. cheers and applause and when trump addressed the crowd, he went right after Hillary Clinton. Hillary clinton is a bigot. Stephen whoo now tell us if thats good or bad . Whoo dont know. Might be a compliment. laughter youre a bigot, sugar cakes laughter i know its hard to look away from trump, but lets play that clip again, and i ask you to focus on the woman behind him. Hillary clinton is a bigot. laughter stephen that woman looks like shed been goosed with an ice pick. She looks like she just woke up from a coma to discover shes a trump supporter. lte was i bad . laughter with everything Donald Trumps been up to lately, it can be easy to forget that one of the things hes doing is running for president. Tonight, he was supposed to give a speech laying out his new immigration policy, but instead hes at a fundraiser in aspen. To be fair, a lot of people visiting colorado immediately forgot what they were supposed. To do. Trump has repeatedly sworn, if elected, he will deport 11 million undocumented immigrants. And if you disagree with him on that, well, now he does, too. You seem to, in the last week, be revisiting the issue of sending everybody back that is here illegally. There certainly could be a softening. Stephen this is crazy. The one thing we thought we knew about donald trump was how he felt about immigrants. Whenever he spoke on the subject, he waac this is totally against his brand its like smokey the bear saying im softening my position on forest fires. Matches are cool but now, trump says he hasnt made up his mind on immigration. In fact, last night, he asked his supporters what they thought he should think. applause now, can we be, and ill ask the audience, you have somebody whos terrific, whos been here 20 years right. Long time. Long court proceeding, long. Everything, okay, in other words to get them out. Can we go through a process or do you think they have to get out . Tell me. I dont know, you tell me. Well lets do a poll. How many think they should go through a process that maybe give them a chance . Clap weve got to hear you. How many people . applause how many think they should go . applause stephen what . Whats happening . Not entirely sure what we learned right for more analysis, we turn to our senior trump correspondent, dana freeling. Whats happening . stephen thank you, dana. applause she speaks for many americans. I look forward to trumps state of the union address. as trump my fellow americans, the state of the union is. Quick poll. Strong . Weak . Damp . Yell it out. Anything you want. laughter and trump wasnt done polling the people. He asked them a lot of tough questions, all at the same time. Look, let me ask you the process. You have somebody thats been in the country for 20 years, has done a great job, has a job,everything else, okay, do we take him and the family, her or him or whatever and send them out . And they are gone . Do we tell these people to get out, number one, or do we work with them and let them stay in some form . applause wait, wait, so the bad ones, the gang members, all them, what do you think . applause so now we have the person 20 years, been an upstanding person, the familys great, everyones great. Do we throw them out, or do we work with them and try . audience reacts wwhoa. How many say work with them . Number one, number one, well say throw out. Number two, we work with them. Ready . Number one . cheers number two. bigger cheers stephen i think its fair to say, that was a pile of number two. cheers and applause but lets ask the American People. Listen to me right here, okay . laughter guys, if you think trump should not have asked two or more questions at a time, shout out option one. If you think it shouldve been one question thats er two start clapping. And if you disagree, stomp your feet and yell. Go. audience reacts perfect. Thank you. All right . Jon yeah stephen somebody write those results down. In all the chaos at trumps town hall, one voice rose above the crowd. Look, this is like a poll. Theres thousands of people in this room. Who wants those people thrown out . I do audience reacts who wants them . Who wants them . Whos the guy that wants them thrown out . The guy that wants them thrown out, stand up. Stephen well, of course that guy agrees with trump. Im pretty sure its mike pence cheers and applause jon just like him. Now based on that town hall, i think i know what his decision will be letting the American People decide which immigrants are allowed to stay, in a reality show called so you think youre one of the good ones laughter lets play right now. Starting with our first undocumented contestant, Juan Martinez juan has been in the country for two decades. He has had a steady job, no criminal record, he is an active member of his church, but, on the other hand, he does smack his gum real loud and still has his Christmas Lights up. So, lets ask the mob, is juan one of the good ones . If you think he is, shout one. If hes won a green card, shout won, and if he should be deported, shout juan. Go just as accurate. Stick around. Weve got the democratic nominee for Vice President , senator tim kaine. 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Its everything you need it to be. And more. Lease the e300 for 549 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. cheers and applause stephen my first guest tonight is a former governor, current senator, and Hillary Clintons running mate. Please welcome, tim kaine band playing stephen welcome to the show. Have you been on a talk show like this before . I never v. Never dreamed i would. Stephen you will be doing a lot more of it over the next few months. Well see how tonight goes. Stephen so far, so good, no gaffes. laughter how long did you know that you were the Vice President ial pick before the rest of us knew . About 12 minutes. Stephen seriously. Yeah, Hillary Clinton called me about 7 32 friday, july 22, not that it was a memorable moment, and we talked and she said youre about to get kidnapped and i have a team about a mile away to get you. I said how much time do i have before the want to tell my wife. She said, about 15 minutes. So i had to race, tell my wife and kids and call my parents. Stephen how did she take it . laughter we had talked about it before. Stephen okay. O she was, you know both of us were overcome with emotion, we really very were, and im so proud to be a running mate with such a great person. cheers and applause stephen well, when you say its like being kidnapped, what do you mean by that . You know the scene at the end of e. T. Where they go up into a big spaceship. Yeah. There is just a huge operation, a president ial campaign thats been going for 20 months is just massive. So 33 days, i think i have been in 24 states, done all kind of events and the next stretch from here to november 8 will be super intense, but if you have to be on a president ial campaign, just join in the get to skip all the really hard work. I look at Hillary Clinton and what shes had to do for the length of these months and days, its really hard work. Stephen let me ask you an important question, how is her health . Is she okay . Can she sit up under her own power . laughter i think she could beat me in the new york marathon. But we cant do that because theres a campaign to run. Stephen before you accept the position, did you ask for anything . Joe biden said i want lunch with the president every week. When hillary asked me, i started to say yes and she said, i want to tell you why first. She didnt let me answer. What we ended up talking about is she said the test of what we do is not bill signing, its does it make it better for kids and the people, the workers. I have been a mayor, governor, lieutenant governor, the federal level, i think you can help me govern. So we got into the governing stuff. Stephen youve had a lot of roles. City council, mayor, governor, lieutenant governor, senator. Is there one thing that applies to all the jobs and the seal on your door gets prettier . I would say, i was a missionary in honduras 35 years ago, a civil rights lawyers 17 years, bridge builder, im about reconciliation and bringing people together. applause stephen you were a jesuit missionary. Yes. Stephen do you have a favorite part of the bible, a favorite quote from the new testament . From the new testament . Stephen thats the jesus portions. Yeah, thats the jesus portions. I would say pauls letter to the philippians. Stephen really . Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit but with hue multiof mind consider one yourself. cheers and applause stephen im a big fan of philippians whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are just, righteous, set your mind on these things. I dont have a third philippians to to you, so stephen okay. Hillary clinton said im going to test you here, she said, she wanted a runnin runnie that wanted to disagree with her. Yes. Stephen so please your new boss and Say Something you disagree with Hillary Clinton on. You think im new at this . laughter i was a lot governo i was a lt. Governor and my deal was the same with Hillary Clinton, which isle hear about me from me. You wont hear about it from the press or see it on tv. The relationship works if you play a supportive role if you are extremely candid in person and cant surprise folks. Stephen want to just whisper in my ear . laughter what about the the transpacific trade pac . This is something people didnt like. Mrs. Clinton helped with it, you supported it now youre both against it. What i was for was the president having the tools to negotiate the best deal possible. So i voted for something called the t. P. A. , fast track authority. Let the president negotiate the best deal. Stephen and he did. And he did. And the deal was on the table and ive got a real problem with it because i dont think the portions i really like, labor, standards and environmental standards, i dont think they can be enforced under this deal and thats why im opposing it. Hillary clinton said lets do trade deals if theync jobs, increase wages and are good for national security. But if you get there you have to be a bill that can be enforced. There are concerns but thats the major one with me. Stephen are you familiar with your role as americas stepdad . A lot has been written about how you look like a dad or stepdad. America, meet tim kaine, your new stepdad. Tim kaine is making earnest dads everywhere proud. Tim kaine will be driving you to and from the prom, mister. laughter and tim kaine is that soccer dad who can sing around to any rap song but hums the cuss words. laughter cheers and applause are you okay with not being cool . I have been prepared for that for 26 years because i have three children who have been ripping on me a things about me since they were born. Stephen what did you think of trump softening his position on immigration . First of all, a Vice President is supposed to be an attack dog as the Vice President ial candidate. He called your friend Hillary Clinton a bigot. Do you have you know, ill take you off the chain right now. Go ahead after him. When Hillary Clinton got out of law school, she was working to help advance Racial Justice in the juvenile Justice System in South Carolina and fight segregation in alabama. I got out of law school and was battling housing discrimination in virginia. Donald trump was a real estate guy who got sued by the Justice Department for discriminating people in housing writing the letter c on applications if they were minority. Hillary clinton has a track record all the way back to being a middle schooler in a Methodist Youth Group of trying to priorities for others, and donald trump is for himself. cheers and applause stephen weve got to take a break. Stick around . Yeah. Stephen back with more senator tim kaine. cheers and applause nexium 24hfor their own 1 choice of docfrequent heartburn. S for complete protection all day and night make nexium 24hr your 1 choice. See, we can agree. Reat. That one. Ugh, come on. Dad, can we turn up the heat . No. Put on a sweater. Honey, its called a barber shop quartet. No out what . That was in yeah finally, something the whole family can agree on. Oscar mayer deli fresh ham made with pure honey for a taste everyone will love. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody were back with Vice President ial candidate senator tim kaine. I didnt give you a chance to answer the question i asked you before the break which is what do you make of trump softening his stance on immigration. What do you have to say about that . I dont buy it because speaking spanish laughter stephen i dont speak spanish. What is the spanish word for pander . I dont think that word exists in the spanish language. Its unique to the american political tradition. Stephen damn it. All right. laughter now, youre super busy right now. I think youre doing, like, 12 states in eight days. Did 12 in 8 and back out on the road starting today. Stephen well, before you know, earlier in the summary when it was first announced you were going to be the Vice President ial candidate, we noticed that you ever a remarkable simila similarity. You look a lot like my post production manager mark mark sp. We offered him to step in when youre tired. laughter but of course if you do step in, ill need you to be my postproduction supervisor well need to transcode that clip to dnx145 for the avid, then ill have jason export and send it down to control for rehearsal. Stephen that makes just as much sense to me as when mark says it. So what do you think . Do you buy him as your double . I dont think so. Stephen well, lets find ou who does. Jim . Hey, how aria . You hey, how are ya . Are you following the election . The political season. Yes. Stephen would you like to meet senator tim kaine . Yes. Stephen senator hello, nice to meet you. Police dont forget to vote in november. Stephen does he look exactly how you thought he would look . I guess. Im picturing a white guy. Stephen they dont get much whiter. I got tim kaine who wants to meet the man hes running for Vice President its really him who are you supporting trump or clinton . Clinton. Stephen who is her raiment running mate. Tim kaine. Stephen from . Virginia. Stephen can you pick him out of the crowd . No. Stephen look over there. Is that him . Stephen come here. Senator. Hello. Stephen senator kaine. Hello. Stephen anything you want to ask tim kaine. What was the best part about being the mar city . Working with the local government. Stephen what city was this, stir . Richmond city . Stephen richmond city, virginia. What was the worst part stephen just a second. You were the mayor of richmond city, virginia . Yes. Stephen tim kaine here i have the real tim kaine any message you would like to get to Hillary Clinton . He spends a lot of time with her. A lot of time. Stephen great lady. Tell the funny story about how you an Hillary Clinton were at the bar and got locked in. I cant tell that story. Stephen you got locked in the bar and had nothing to eat so you had to drink liquor all the time. Thats what we did. Stephen the rest of your life you know this is what tim kaine looks like. Yeah. Stephen great. Thank you so much. You want to do a photo with the senator . Absolutely. Stephen one, two, three. This is tim kaine stephen are you excited about anyone of the whos our Vice President ial candidate . Tim kaine. Stephen hey you recognize him. Did you recognize him . I had to look him up. Stephen did you look him up . Yes. Stephen show me on the phone what you looked up because people dont always look like their photographs. Ready . That. Stephen thats him. One, two, three im tim kaine. Stephen have you ever met tim kaine . I have not. Stephen senator kaine, dwight kaufman, senator kaine. Senator kaine is new to a lot of americans. Yes. Stephen do you happen to know what state hes from . Virginia. Stephen do you want to quiz him on anything . Off daughter in college. Stephen yes, and her name is . Helena. Incorrect. Stephen incorrect. That is not your daughters name. Senator. Melania. laughter stephen no. Close. Stephen what does this say that help doesnt know his daughters name. I think he must be an imposter. Im tim kaine speaking spanish stephen and fluent in spanish, as far as you know. This is tim kaine senator from virginia whats your name. Say ray. Sha. Stephen which one is the mother. This one. Stephen thats a good one. Okay, did you follow american politics . Yes. Stephen so who do you like . Hillary. Stephen hillary. Would you be interested in meeting Hillary ClintonsVice President ial candidate . Yes. Stephen is that exciting . Who is that . Tim kaine. Stephen get over here se tim cane. Stephen give her a hug. applause great. Thank you. Stephen how did that feel. Great. Stephen great, great. laughter i find you very attractive. laughter stephen and her mother . And you also. laughter your daughter is beautiful. I hope you vote for us in november. Stephen you cant vote . No. Stephen . Ill arrange it. Stephen this guys running for Vice President applause yay baby crying oh, no awwww sorry. Stephen you made a baby cry. You made a baby cry. Are you happy . Babies can tell. Babies can tell. cheers and applause stephen mark spada, come on out here. cheers and applause thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the senators tim kaines cheers and applause tim kaine, everybody cheers and applause get into olive garden now for our lunch duos choose your favorite pasta, piadina or sandwich. It all comes with our neverending soup or salad. And all the breadsticks you want. Starting at just 6. 99 get neverending value for lunch, today at olive garden. For great savings on all the denim your kids want get every shade of blue and even polkadots too plus yes2you rewards members earn 1 point for every dollar spent. Get a 5 reward for every 100 points now thats the good stuff. Kohls. The possibility of a flare was almost always on my mind. Thinking about what to avoid, where to go. And how to deal with my uc. To me, that was normal. Until i talked to my doctor. She told me that humira helps people like me get uc under control and keep it under control when certain medications havent worked well enough. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, get tested for tb. And if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, dont start humira if you have an infection. Raise your expectations. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, control is possible. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back to the show already in progress. My next guest has won two emmy this year for his role as president ial body man gary walsh on veep. Gary. Oh, shut up you screwed up the worst in all the ways. Oh, i know you make fun of me and i know you think im funny, and im funny, ha ha, well, at least i cared i did my job i bleep cared well that just kind of made this whole year worth it. Yeah. Stephen please welcome tony hale band playing cheers and applause hey cheers and applause stephen nice to meet you. Nice to meet stephen i love doing that bit with you and tim kaine in the cold open. You look so natural behind tim kaine there. Did i . Stephen yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much. Stephen is there anything you think he or Hillary Clinton could learn from watching veep . Dont watch it. Stephen no good models not of politics. Funny, but no good models. Stephen do you think its a political show, though. Is this its a good question. Stephen what i do for a living laughter actually, its funny. I think its more about, actually, office politics. You know, its like these people are kind of positioning themselves. They get ahead, spinning stories to give them attention, how close can you get to the popular kids to get power. That kind of stuff. Stephen theyre terrible people. Theyre atrocious people. Stephen which is why it seems accurate to me. Yeah. Stephen have you spent a lot of time in washington, d. C. . We would shoot d. C. , but before we started the show, we got a chance to meet people that kind of did our jobs. Stephen you met a body man . I met a body man. Stephen who did you meet . I cant say. Stephen was it reggie love . It wasnt reggie love. Stephen is that the name you cant say . I did meet him later. I met him previously, another guy, a body man to a politician. He did fit his 20s. He had no life. He never saw his family or friends and moved on to other stuff. My character has done it into his 40s because he has no identity out of selina meyer. Worships her. Shes jesus to him. Stephen thats pretty strong. Pretty strong laughter stephen yeah. Did you hear the senator talking about being a jesuit missionary earlier. Yes. Stephen yeah. And you guys did, like, a bible game. Stephen a little bit, yeah. We flipped some philippians on philippians 4 13, i can do all things through him who gives me strength. Flip wrns 4 6, do no the peace f christ will guard your hearts and minds in christ. Bam bam stephen didnt you start as an actor in new york first . I did. Stephen you started at the haven which is a place, like, christians in show business to hang out. Isnt that called a church . laughter why did you think you had to make a place for christians in show business . No, i met actually a lot of people whose faith were important to them and they were artists and not necessarily supported by the church in what they did. So we just get together and see each others work and encourage each other and hang out. It was mainly a reason to get friends. I didnt have any friends. Lets be honest. Stephen thats nice. Did you guys i had my wife there. Stephen really . Yeah. cheers and applause she was a Makeup Artist on saturday night live at the time. Stephen did you enjoy doing that meltdown as gary . I did. Thank you for asking. Good question, stephen. laughter stephen is that a long time coming. Yes. Stephen your character and couple you played seem like on the verge of a breakdown all the time. And emasculated. I do that really well. laughter but, yeah, because my character is so beaten down, and he also worships the ground selena meyer walks on and you watch the people around her make mistake after mistake. In my characters eyes, i dont understand why theyre not hand herring the presidency, shes the obvious choice. He sees people make mistake after mistake and when she lost it. Stephen some of the show is improvised, right . Yeah. Very rare in television, they give us, like, two weeks before we shoot to rehearse and we get five scripts and we play around and the writers work incredibly hard on the scripps and they give us time to play. But on the set when its locked, its physical, if you drop your purse, ill catch it here, so we can still play what we have. Stephen do you ever check the initiations or the impulses you have for something the character says when youre in the Development Period of the script so people dont know which party shes in . Because you cant tell whether shes a democrat or republican by watching the show. Yeah, because they wanted to keep it to where you wouldnt know, but weve got a lot of people on set, not a lot, but theyve got a lot of Political Consultants that help us, yeah, if you go that direction, it will be that way, watch frank rich is on the show, a political journalist and a great resource for the show. Stephen the show sin credible. Thank you. Stephen thank you so much for coming on cheers and applause thank you. Stephen you can watch veep on hbo. Tony hale, everybody well be right back. cheers and applause band playing im in vests and as a vested investor in vests, i invest with e trade, where investors can investigate and invest in vests. Or not in vests. Sign up at etrade. Com and get up to six hundred dollars. Tmobiles coverage is unstoppable. We doubled our lte coverage. And, with extended range lte, it reaches farther than ever. Now you can stream video and music free in more places without using any of your data. From skylines to coastlines, out in the country, deep in the city. We got you covered. 311 million americans and counting. And we wont stop. Come see why tmobile is 1 in customer satisfaction. Hey, youre yes, sir. Clarence you know, at the model year end clarence event, you can get a great deal on this 2016 passat. Steve. Yeah . Clarence is on a roll. Yeah. I wish theyd name an event after me. Same here. But the model year end becky event . Thats no good. Stevent thats just vandalism. Whatever you want to call it, dont miss the volkswagen model year end event. Hurry in for a 1,000 volkswagen reward card and a five hundred dollar labor day bonus when you buy or lease a new 2016 passat. music time after time by iron wine. we all want whats best for our kids. Introducing mcdonalds new chicken mcnuggets. Made with 100 white meat chicken and no artificial colors, flavors and now no artificial preservatives. Luann bennett. After losing her husband to cancer, she raised three boys here in Northern Virginia create over 1,000 local jobs, bringing people together to solve problems. Im luann bennett. In business, you bring everyone to the table and work to get results. Congress just doesnt get that theres too much partisanship. I approve this message because washington needs more commonsense problem solvers. Gilman go get it, marcus. Go get it. 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Stephen and now, making their Network Television debut with the song, fill in the blank, ladies and gentlemen, car seat headrest cheers and applause im so sick of fill in the blank accomplish more accomplish nothing if i were split in two i would just take my fists so i could beat up the rest of me you have no right to be depressed you havent tried hard enough to like it havent seen enough of this world yet but it hurts, it hurts it hurts, it hurts well stop your whining try again no one wants to cause you pain theyre just trying to let some air in but you hold your breath you hold your breath you hold it hold my breath i hold my breath i hold it ive known for a long time im not getting what i want out of people it took me a long time to figure out i dont know what i want so youll ask why . And there will be no answer. Then youll ask for how long . And there will be no answer then youll ask what can i do . And there will be no answer. And eventually you will shut up you have no right to be depressed you havent tried hard enough to like it you havent seen enough of this world yet but it hurts, it hurts it hurts, it hurts well stop your whining try again no one wants to cause you pain theyre just trying to let some air in but you hold your breath, you hold your breath you hold it hold my breath i hold my breath i hold it i get signs from the cops saying stay the bleep down i get signs from the audience saying stay the bleep down i get signs saying ive got a right to be depressed ive given every inch i had to fight it i have seen too much of this world, yes and it hurts, it hurts it hurts, it hurts and i will never see the light that ive shining in your eyes you just want to see me naked so ill hold my breath ill hold my breath ill hold it hold my breath ill hold my breath hold my breath ill hold my breath hold my breath cheers and applause stephen their album, teens of denial is out now car seat headrest, everybody well be right back. cheers and applause fios is not cable. Were wired differently, which means we can fix things differently. Thanks for calling fios. This is ryan. You cant tell me this cord isnt in. I know its in. Its in, but its not working. Im sending you a link to the my fios app that going to let me see what youre seeing. Really . So you can clearly see whats in and whats out . Oh absolutely. I like that. Tech support that lets your technician see the problem over your smartphone. Only from fios. Stephen thats it for the late show, everybody tune in tomorrow when my guests will be rachel weisz, kevin smith, and spike feresten. Now stick around for james corden and his guests, kate mara and michael kelly. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout your hangups and fears bout to set you right its the late, late show [ music ] ladies and gentlemen, all th