All you do is change jesus to baby. Oh, how horrible. Eh, theyll all go to hell. Say, hows your life going . Ooh, she wants to know how your life is going. Well, my wifes passing was rough but i think im finally ready to move on. Thats great. Maybe we could have coffee sometime. Ohh, she wants to have coffee sometime. I can hear her, homer. He can hear you, rachel. clears throat id love to get together but tomorrow ive got lifeguard duty at the baptismal pool. Okay, well, maybe another time. You know, i better go check into my hotel. Hotel . Why dont you just stay at neds place . My place what would the neighbors think . Were the neighbors, and we dont think. Ned, i understand if you feel uncomfortable. Youre still getting over your wife. Now wait just a maudegone minute, here. Im through living in the past and you can see for yourself. Well, youve certainly got a theme going. All right, ill take the couch and you can have my room. Oh, uh, could you sleep on my side . Im trying to preserve maudes indentation. Sorry. Oh, no problem. A little starch will fix her right up. Brrr. Cold, huh . This should keep you toasty. How about that. It says maude. sniffing mmm, i love chenille, dont you . I dont love it, i dont hate it. Mmm, well, good night, maude. I mean, maude. I mean rachel. I mean, maude. ned humming oh, my god youre trying to make me look like your dead wife. No, no, now, ii know this is a tad unseemly but if youd just let me even out the back. Im calling a cab. Goodbye, ned. Who am i kidding . Im not over maude at all. Homer yeah, maybe it was too soon. Well, arent you going to invite me in . [ mom ] in my family, so we just look for this g. cause General Mills makes over 40 yummy flavors that are 130 calories or less per serving. And theyre packed with vitamins and minerals. From lucky charms to cheerios. Over 40 cereals. 130 calories or less. [ laughs ] [ female announcer ] hey ladies. You love it. Youve got to have it. Cinnamon toast crunch, cause that cinnamon and sugar is so irresistible. Everybody craves those crazy squares. ® [ male announcer ] for those who willingly take on the day. [ screaming ] [ male announcer ] to make it better for someone else. The same way the smooth, creamy taste of coffeemate makes coffee and your day better. Coffeemate. Coffees perfect mate. Now try new girl scout cookie flavors. Nestle. Good food, good life. Offering to go through maudes things. If it were up to me i wouldnt throw anything away. Oh, dont worry. Well make all the hard decisions so you dont have to. We can take whatever we want, right . Yeah. What . Dont listen to him. You just have a good time at the eye doctor. Always do. Marge poor ned. He cant look anywhere without being reminded of maude. Yeah, a lifetime of memories. Homer, dont you have any respect . Sure, of course i do. But life goes on, ashes to ashes, turn, turn, turn long live rock and so forth. Dont throw this away. Its rods first tooth. Youre right. We could use this for witchcraft. Wow, three pairs of shoes. Someone had a fetish. homer grunting man, this is taking forever. I know how to speed things up. Her pillows stuck. ned sighing the room looks so bare. Are you okay, ned . Yeah, just a little shocked. Whats that . Some kind of sorting machine . Kinda. Now for the awkward part. Weve got to talk about money. You said we were doing this out of friendship. What . That doesnt sound like me. Hey, dad, something didnt get, um, sorted. Maudes old sketch book. She was quite the little artist, you know. Ahh. Is that a fact . And you think you know someone. Heres our house. A rainbow. Oh, a white hand shaking a black hand. Praiseland . Lisa it looks like an Amusement Park. Ned youre right. Maude designed a christian Amusement Park. Oh, it must have been her final dream. Hey, how about that. Lets build it for her, daddy. Oh, thats a nice thought, toddy but to build an Amusement Park you need lots of money and manpower and turnstiles. But mommy wanted it. But where do you put something that big . You could fix up the old storytime village. Theyve been out of business ever since that kid got his head cut off. Mm, that sounds perfect. Well, what the heck. Whos ready to build an Amusement Park . all cheering sell storytime village . Why, youve got to be off your tuffet. Well, its been closed for so long and i thought i could turn it into a christian theme park. Christian, eh . Well, thats different. Now the thing is, i dont have a lot of money. Then what the hell good are you . Beat it, you hippie. But i. Youre right that was harsh. Tell you what maybe i could donate the park as a tax writeoff. gasps if you could do that id make this place a shining beacon for the lord. Ah, this three little pigs house will make a great stable for the nativity scene. grunting youre doing that the sucker way. Try a little vitamin g. Are you nuts . Relax. Its a controlled burn. Uhoh. Huh . Darn teenagers with their beer bottles. Uh, yeah. Teenagers. panting ned, im worried about you. Youve been working nonstop for the past week. Well, its been a tad harder than i thought but im not complaining cause i work for a sweet, sweet boss. Youre our foreman, maude. Shes still bossing you around from beyond the grave . Can they do that . Oh, i dont mind but my greenback stacks getting kind of slack. How about asking the community for donations . Oh, im not very good at begging people for stuff. I am. Id be glad to spearhead the entire begging initiative. Thanks, homer. No problem. Ill need a sack and something sharp. Well, i guess i could donate these costumes. Theyre from my last supper piethrowing sketch. Man here. You can have these fireworks i confiscated. Some Chinese People claimed they were celebrating new years in february. chuckling oh, yeah. Those guys and their crazy scams. both laughing good food, though. This sawdust will soak up the puke from the rollercoaster. Its willies special blend. sniffing do i detect a hint of cinnamon . Ooh, ill never tell. Praiseland Amusement Park has its grand opening today. We now go live to its founder, mr. Nedward flanders. Oh, morning, kent. Our volunteers have done an amazing job getting the park ready here. Were going to show springfiel are the wildest thrill rides of all. All right, i hear the mayors arriving for the ribboncutting. It is with, uh, great pride that i dedicate this new School Sports arena or attraction. tires screeching cheering well, maude your dream has finally come true. kids screaming halt. Who dares to disturb king david . Silence. You have invaded the chamber where i wrote all of my 150 psalms. gasps i hope you enjoy hearing them all. Number one blessed is the man who. all crying what do you hit them with . Theres no mallet. You can stop satan with your faith. My face . You calling me ugly . No, no, no, no. I think youre beautiful. Oh, thats it. screaming ooh, what can i get you, little christian . How about a noahs ark of jellies . Oh, are there two of every flavor . Nope, theyre all the same. Plain. Oh. How about a maude mask . as maude im maude. God is super. Can i sit in the car . Lets both sit in the car. A bible park without beer . snorts now ive seen everything. And this candy is subpar. Any religion that embraces carob is, uh, not for carl carlson. Oh, hey, get out of the way, pal. Youre blocking the exit. Oh, ho, you want me to stamp your hand so you can get back in . Dont you dare. Bye, everybody. What a ripoff. It aint even worth torching. Whoa. Wheres everyone going . Whats wrong . This place is the height of tedium. Yar, she blows. Oh, maude, i turned your dream of a christian Amusement Park into a bemusement park. gasps dont say that, ned. It is. Its a bemusement park. Im sorry, sweetheart. Oh, please dont look at me like that. gasps its a miracle. Its almost like shes alive again. Whats that, floating mask . You want me to shoot everyone . gasps naw, im just screwing with you. Its a miracle. crowd oohs and aahs this is fantastic. Ive never been so close to rubbing my eyes in disbelief. Oh, what the heck. I think its a sign from god that we should all go nuts. screaming what is wrong with you . Go get that. Yes, maam. Well, looks like our phenomenon is actually a phenomenot. chuckling because when you look at it rationally. Hakala makta towhoo abowhoo. Hakala makta towhoo abowhoo. confused murmuring hes speaking in tongues. Oh, knock it off, seymour. Go find that boy with my purse. Oh, it was incredible. I saw heaven. But it wasnt clouds and angels playing harps like at the end of so many three stooges shorts. It was a Golden Elementary School with a teachers lounge that stretched as far as the eye could see and no one was ever tardy. Was i there . No, it was heaven. My vision of heaven. murmuring oh, truly this was the will of maude. Hey, i want the maude statue to give me a vision. Yeah, i want to hallucinate, too. Im sorry. The ticket price doesnt cover visions, miracles or other godly hoohah. Yeah, folks, the power of christ compels you to give ned an extra ten bucks. Homer, no. I cant exploit a divine manifestation. Oh, why not . Everybodys doing it. You could give the money to the orphanage. I hear they need a new wall. Three is not enough. hacking cough maude, its disco stu. Lay some heaven on me, foxy dead chick. disco music playing oh, disco stu. Right this way. But, hey, saint peter. You said, like, you was full. disco music playing aw, geez. Whoa, frank sinatra. For me, this is hell. You dig, pally . Oh, ooh, ooh, ah, ooh, ooh, ah, oh. Whos next . That would be me, thank you, sonny. Oohooh. alarm sounding my chair. Its. Got a mind of its own. Help me, mr. Spock. Shazbot. My captain is in peril. You saved the captains life. I want to make out with you and so do catwoman and agent 99. Ooh. How come everybodys having visions, daddy . Oh, theres no explaining gods will, roddy. Thats like explaining how an airplane flies. Homer stupid grill. Why wont you light . The gas is on full blast. You better stick your head in and see whats going on. Good idea. No, dad i think theres a leak in the line. Leak in the line . jabbering oh, no. This isnt a divine miracle. Everyones just getting goofy from the gas. Ah, ah, folks i just discovered something about this statue that, uh, may disappoint you. You see. What is it, mr. Flanders . Is something wrong with the miracle . Will there still be money for the orphans . hacking cough hello, gas company . How poisonous is your gas . Wow. But, eh, but im talking about, you know outdoors, with plenty of ventilation that. How could that be worse . Okay, permanent brain damage or just temporary . I see. Ive got to close praiseland down. Someone could get hurt. sighs could get hurt. Could. Theres a chance they wont. Ned, praiseland has touched an entire town with its inspiring message and toxic superfreakouts. Look at those smiling faces. Rich laughing with poor. Bullies breaking bread with nerds. Orphans lighting candles. Nooo nooo screaming i cant feel my legs. I taste blood. Phew. Phew. Adults attacking orphans . I dont think Maude Flanders would approve of that. Absolutely not. Never. No friggin way. Yeah, this place is more like crazeland. Instead of praiseland. Oh, i see. Got it. Its a play on words. May the lord have mercy on your gas sniffing, orphanbeating soul. Christ be with you. horn honking hey, ned. I just read about your park in that horrible aaa magazine. Ooo, ned, look whos here. Its that girl you dont like. Not. laughing crazily hey, your hairs grown back real nice. Its a wig. And lets never speak of it again. So what happened here . How about i explain it to you over a cup of coffee . That is, if youre willing to give me another shot. Are you sure you want to do this, ned . Im sure. So, how about a movie tomorrow night . Sounds great. door closes i think neds going to be all right. [captioned by the Caption Center wgbh educational foundation] morning. Morning. Sleep okay . Mmhmm. Great. Sure. Last night, me wanting to try that stuff out of the kama sutra, was that fun for you or kinda racially insensitive . Yeah, just because youre in bed with an indian woman, you think that gives you permission hey, if you can find a book called weird sex with white boys, id be okay with that. No, no, you have such beautiful eyes. Have you ever thought about getting contacts . I tried in the seventh grade. I could never get used to them. Yeah, if i had contacts, i would have been ever to be stuffed into his own cello case. If you had them on now, you could see what were going to do next. Hey, raj, want to see a new magic trick ive been working on . Howard, if i may interject here is working on magic tricks really how you want to spend your time . Granted, youre just an engineer, but. Or a thingamabob that may get you a thank you in someone elses nobel prize acceptance speech. Is the trick making him disappear . Sure, lets see it. Here, shuffle these. Okay. Now spread them out on the table face down. Pick one, look at it. Okay. Now remember your card, put it back in the deck. Is it any wonder he doesnt have a doctorate . Remind me, whats your birthday . October 6. October is the tenth month. So ten one plus zero is one, plus six is seven. How about that . Is that your card . Yes, it is. Very cool its not cool. Its a childish trick designed to confuse and intrigue simpletons