At craigs and tries to get in. Security is not having it. He is like smooth diggity isnt letting me in. Lets talk about the first lady for a minute. There is no way an envelope goes into her hands and its not screened for security. She couldnt have been the first person to look at that envelope. Are you saying the secret service cant keep a secret . He saw it and hes going to go tweet it. It doesnt matter. And now what happens to tv stars on oscar night starring the hot guy from true blood . And action. Sorry buddy, cant let you in. Lets go. Rejection. So who is the guy . We got ryan kwanten. Hes on true blood. So he shows up to the argo party at craigs at 2 30 in the morning. But they are not on the list. Stacy, george. Well, i need someone to confirm that. Sadly, there was no one to confirm that. Ryan kwanten was nice but the friend was hollywood douchery. There are a hundred people that tell us that. Im not a hundred people. He calls somebody up on the phone and says smooth diggity is not letting us in. I understand that. Sorry buddy. Cant let you in. Lets go. What company do you work for . The company that didnt let you into the awesome party. That was pretty funny. That is hilarious. Now youre getting heckled by the peanut gallery. Time to call it a night. We say sorry, you cant win them all. But ryan, you may not be the biggest star in hollywood but thats it really. Float like a butterfly sting like a bee. We got laila ali at l. A. X. We say you and rhonda rousey, five minutes, who wins . She goes who . Me and anybody i win. You take her on . I take on anybody, i win. Thats classic ali. Thats what shes supposed to say. Rhonda rousey would punish her. That chick was around her neck choking her face off and she got out of it. You shook her off the back. You cant say that. She got kicked in the boob. She got kicked in the chest. If porn stars were feeling a Burning Sensation in los angeles this weekend, it was because Vivid Entertainment caught on fire and also probably the std. The whole roof is on fire. The porn Company Responsible for distributingless mania burst into flames this weekend. And it couldnt have come at a worse time. Its making this parody porn about the canyons with james deen and a Lindsay Lohan look alike because lindsay wont do it. They had an open casting call for porn stars that look like Lindsay Lohan. They are horrible actresses. Horrible is being kind. I dont know what you are talking about. Wait, that actually was lindsay. Lets see some of the talent at work. Action. I wasnt sure youd be home. Perry sent me on this wild goose chase. Lets try another approach on these auditions. Girl number one and action. Number two, and number three. Cut, rap, call it a day. The dam place caught on fire before they could pick a winner. Firefighters are trying to figure out what caused the building to ignite. But we have a pretty good idea. All that fire crotch. Just terrible but he will be writing the canyons 2. Take us out actress lady. Which is for the best i suppose. Nailed it. What happened, why the delay . Where is your driver . We got Michael Douglas at l. A. X. Someone is getting fired over this. He shows up by himself but his car is not there. Is someone getting fired over this . He has to wait for his car use there are tons of paparazzi, tons of fans, hes signing autographs and taking pictures but he starts to get more annoyed. Getting close. Then his phone rings and you here him say im standing [beep] outside. So hes pissed. Then the car finally shows up and there is this chick. I dont know who she is. Shes fired. Are you afraid youre going to lose your job . Shes not having it. Shes definitely fired today. He was admitting it, someone is getting fired over this. Thanks a lot. Take care. And now not at all just in time for Martin Luther king day a white and blasion come together in harmony. Suck on that racists. Who are they . Tiger woods and Elin Nordegren hanging out again. No way. Way. No way. Way infinity. They were spotted at a youth sports event in florida this weekend and its the first time weve seen him since he hooked up with 30 girls, dude. Tiger shows up with the two kids and a half hour later she shows up, they are walking together. They are sitting in the grass next to each other. Good for her for the sake of the kids theyve figured out how to work it out. She deserves an award. How does she not rip his face off . Because shes like im rich. She got 100 million in the divorce and tiger got that. Shes doing fine. Yes, she is. She is so fine shes probably forgotten all about the countless dames tiger banged behind her back like her and her and him and this and that and what are these . Thanks tmzstore. Com and also tigers adulterous genitalia. Arnold schwarzenegger looks like he went out on a date this weekend. Not maria. Some blond chick. They went to a restaurant and bar. And they are sitting at a table, just them. She gets into his car and they leave. Interesting. So i think he might be out dating again. The marriage is over. Speaking of old men that like young chicks. Mel gibson didnt go to the oscars. He was at a pool in miami. Hes got a chick on his back hugging him. They are kissing and he is about as far away from the oscars as you can get. After Seth Mcfarland took a shot at him, yeah. Django unchained, im told the screen play is loosely based on mel gibsons voice mail. That was bad. So mc hammer was busted for obstruction of justice in california over the weekend. Hes claiming it was racial profiling though. According to his side of things, he was in his car. He said an officer tapped on his window and asked if he was on probation or parole. That would be racial profiling. You play the mc hammer card. You know instantly hes not threatening. He could beat you to death with his wiener. The guy is carrying a weapon with him at all times. [laughter] coming up kanye west trashes jayz and Justin Timberlakes new song. Plus a toilet overflowed at the oscars. If you look at the photographs, half the lobby is wet. I called 50 people to see what it smelled like and they were like you want me to go sniff the lobby . Yeah. Coming up Aaron Andrews from the daytona 500. 50 cent walks up and he goes in for the kiss. She looks like shes looking for security. Be right back. This years oscars were crappier than usual and not just because of you, Seth Mcfarland. Here is to the losers. After that six hour disaster, were all losers. But Something Else made the oscars really stink. Somebody did a lot of business in the bathroom and flooded the lobby. Were told it was a toilet but if you look at the photograph, half the lobby is wet. A tribute to titanic or glamorous sewage. Grant heslov was there. Did you have any bathroom problems in there . We heard there was a water main bust. I personally didnt have any bathroom problems. Did you hold it in . Im like a camel. Well, somebody wasnt and were going to get to the bottom of it. Bottom. The first mystery was it somebody who couldnt fit into a dress and needed that extra little something, number two or number spew. You know what it was . It was the feminine napkins, trying to flush those things. Even though there is a sign. I have a sign in my house and they still do it. You have a sign . Stop bringing whores to your house and it wont happen. Good point. But sch toilet theory passes the smell test . I asked 50 people what it smelled like and people were like why are you asking what it smells like . Because hes a journalist. Who, when, what does it smell like . Were looking at you Anne Hathaway because that oscars you hosted is still the biggest pile of crap weve seen. Suri cruise, i think she might have a decoy body double. The s. U. V. Pulls up in front of katie holmes house. The nanny gets a kid out and she walks in. A couple minutes later another kid is taken out of the car wearing the same exact outfit, long brown hair. Swear to god. What if they hired twins to play the part of their baby . That would be the best story that would ever happen in the history of forever. That would be so cool. They were twins and they never knew. Yeah, that would be amazing. What was it . Pair tribe. They got to get the pair back together. She is here from england to get the parents back together. This is scientology stuff if ive ever heard it. Katie hid the twin. Shes afraid somebody is going to steal one. Now she can come out with it. All making sense now. I came here because creativity fuels everything. Its kanye west in concert in london on one of his crazy rants. What is this about . The grammys, evil corporations. Obama has been replaced by a robot duplicate . Oh dear god, he just dissed jayz sort of indirectly. Are you insane man . Just like everybody else in the world, kanye west doesnt like suit and tie with Justin Timberlake. You mean that song they put out together . But its so awesome. Yeah, that song is not so good and kanye told the world. He says i got love for hove which is jayz but i aint with that suit and tie and i cant believe kanye said it on stage. Thats crazy but its not like he went on stage the next night and screamed like a baby. He went on stage the next night and screamed like a baby. Hes crazy. Oh short round, you are an offensive stereotype. How much does suit and tie suck . I like jayz and Justin Timberlake too. Their song together sucks. For your information that song happened to be a number one hit in denmark. So visit denmark where the motto is our legalized prostitution makes up for our terrible taste in music. Thanks, kanye. Aaron andrews was reporting at the daytona 500. Shes looking for danica patrick. All of a sudden 50 cent shows up. Hes the only other black guy at nascar. Not true. Of course, 50 cent here comes in from ten feet away going for the kiss. I got to go talk to danica patrick, good to see you. She ducks and dodges twice. She says im trying to find danica right now. Ill talk to you later. She starts walking away and he follows her. He goes why are we walking so fast. Shes trying to run away from him. What are you implying . She got caught off guard and wasnt ready to deal with 50 cent. She looks like shes looking for security. Come on. Lets talk about the first lady for a minute. She couldnt have been the first one to look in that envelope. When i called the secret Service Today wait a minute, its harvey levin on the phone. Next tmz, dont let the lame poll low next tmz, dont let the this is my friend diane. Shes played by the rules her whole life. But then the rules flew right out the window. Having just lost her husband, she stepped up and adopted her three grandkids, while working full time and caring for her brother, eddie, with cerebral palsy. I get the three children up. I walk andrew at eight i drop olivia off at eight thirty. Spend a few minutes at emilios school. I stop at the grocery store, and then i might do some laundry that has to be done. And then i have about five minutes. The baby sitter comes in and then i go to work. Im not back home again until 11 30 at night. Hard as she works, its still a struggle to keep up with the bills and stay warm at night. When we asked the Biggest Oil Companies to help families in need, only citgo, the people of venezuela, and president hugo chavez responded. Thanks to them, Citizens Energy is able to deliver millions of gallons of fuel to families just like dianes. Im joe kennedy. If you need help staying warm this winter, call me at 1877joe4oil. Because no one should be left out in the cold tmz online and on your phone 24 7. So bored of your ipad you are using it as a drink coaster . Give your pad purpose with the tmz app for ipad. Its got photo galleries, videos, stories and its easier to navigate than octomoms birth canal. Go to the app store and get the new tmz app for ipad. And queue that little guy. The price is free. Yep, still annoying. First watergate, then Monica Lewinsky and today you can add a bigger u. S. Government scandal to the list. And now for the moment we have all been waiting for. Except for everyone else in the white house who already knows. Yes, it was the first lady was not the first person to open the best movie envelope scandal. Argo. For no particular reason Michelle Obama announced the winner for best picture last night. But it was no secret in washington. There is no way you can have an envelope going into the first ladys hands and its not screened thoroughly for security. Exactly, they have to make sure the envelope didnt have anthrax or doesnt say amour because that film isnt american and if it wins, so do the terrorists. All they have to do is xray it. You dont think they opened it . No. If thats the case, when i called the secret Service Today, why would they say quote, were not going to comment on that. Why are you keeping secrets secret service . What is next, policemen policing people . You know who won best picture before we did. Who cares if they know. Theyve seen every president get a hummer from an intern and didnt say anything. I guess its not a big deal after all. Or is it . I care. So not a big deal. Coming up so Kim Kardashian went to the gym, shes pregnant. She goes down the stairs. Her butt is growing, everything is growing. That was your stock in trade. Its growing. Closed captioning and other considerations for tmz are provided by so Kim Kardashian went to the gym. Shes pregnant, you know. Shes growing a little bit. Kim always looks great. Tell me one day she doesnt look beautiful. She goes down the stairs because her butt is growing. Everything is growing. That was in stock and trade. She tweeted the tmz store she did. And she even tweeted about a shirt i didnt know existed, the baby kimye shirt and hes got the shades on lake kanye wears. Its the newest addition at the tmzstore. Com. Its the newest addition at the tmzstore. Com. Im a lawyer. The simpsons stomping pacifier sucking alarm buzzing sighing monday. Here we go again. hot chips and i was a boy from school playing and i was a boy from school helplessly helping all the rules and there was a boy at school hopelessly wrestling all his rules