I fell asleep in the call room. Weird dream. Mm, weird. Now i want details. Forget about it. Hearing other peoples dreams is like trying to listen to the daily special at a restaurant. People just glaze over. Okay. Hey, guys. Hey. W are you doing . Good. Thank you. Nice suit. Thank you. Yeah, im, uh, supposed to do this photo shoot for the, uh, hospital newsletter. Spotlight on the chief. I just hate having my picture taken, you know . Key to a good photo. cell phone buzzing think of a secret. I dont have any secrets. buzzing continues lukealled. Whats he want . Hes speaking tomorrow at a sunrise meeting. Invited us, so. Okay. Well, i wouldnt miss that. I gotta take this. Sorry. speaks indistinctly its his testimonial. Hes gonna be telling a room full of strangers all about my crazy family. Ill be right there beside you. You do make good army candy. Eh. Is there anything in my teeth . Why . You got a hot date . No. I have my own camera to worry about. Okay, you have one more cup of coffee, okay. Shut up. slaps chuckles start talking. clears throat hello, gentle youtubers. I am the artist currently known as riley. And ive been documenting my transition from female to male ever since i was 16. And today i get my bottom surgery done. chuckles which yeah, so and im here with my mom. And, oh, my righteous psychiatrist, dr. Murphy. Ah. chuckles im more of a behindthescenes kind of guy. Here. Is this a script . chuckles you wish. Its the consent form. I signed yours. Now you have to sign mine. Or else, forever be covered in a blue dot. Well, hello. Hey. So i hear you landed on the name riley. I like it. It suits you. Mmhmm. Okay, but does it i mean, does it say. Boy . whispers yes. Yeah . Okay, good. Because i i want to go stealth from now on, so. chuckles okay, i know that this is a very exciting day for you. Yeah, well, thats an understatement. Some important preop stuff first. Ill s you after the surgery. Ill be sure to come up with appropriately pithy sound bites. chuckles hey, no uterusokes. Period. Huh . chuckles okay. So your hysterectomy oophorectomy isnt as visible as your mastectomy. But it is a radical procedure. Okay. Well, radical is the way i roll. Along with the obvious negation of fertility, the sudden change in hormone levels can carry severe side effects. Wow. chuckles i mean, youre killing my buzz here, doc. Well. Thats the way i roll. Slowed metabolism, loss of bone density you need to prepare for that. whispers okay. normal voice i mean, iii get it. But, uh. inhales deeply in a few hours, im going to feel more like myself than ive ever felt. And nothing can kill that buzz. chuckles chuckles see, youre such a guy. chuckles see you later. Okay. inhales deeply, groans jana raymondshe was, uh, jumping on a trampoline when she fractured her left proximal tib fib. Ugh, not gonna let my kids anywhere near one of those death traps. A mature trampolinist. Awesome. curtain rings clack woman you seem to be doing real well. Hello, jana. I am dr. Harris. Um. Wow so a trampoline injury. Were you, um. Are you a gymnast . chuckles uh, no. I like food too much for that. You, uh, jumping with your kids . No. Single, childless, and not a gymnast. Should be my Online Dating profile, right . chuckles chuckles can you, um, feel that . voice breaks mmhmm. Does that hurt . strained voice like a son of a bitch. Okay. So what were you doing on the trampoline then . Scaled my neighbors fence this morning after he left for work. Thats funny. Most people just steal their neighbors wifi. Im not most people. Yeah, im getting that. Im gonna need to do a closed reduction. So we better sedate you first. Oh, no. I dot no drugs. I dont want any drugs, please. Is that a religious thing . No. No religion. No. In the next few hours. So i dont really want to be stoned for any of it. Well, youre gonna need something to manage the pain. Okay, just give me as little as. exhales possible to get through it. Okay. Lets do, um, 50 micrograms of fentanyl, rambo. Okay. 50 it is. Thats. It. There you go. Uh, youre gonna need me for cotertraction. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. This stuff works really fast. Well, this is still gonna hurt. On three . And. strained voice three cracks aah laughs all right. You let me know if she needs any more brown sugar. Thank you, hiphop. Im going to take you up for a postreduction xray. Really . Cant you just give me some crutches and let me go . Ive got a lot of stuff to do. I think that can probably wait. Why, what happens at midnight . You, uh, turn into a pumpkin like cinderella . It was her carriage that turned into a pumpkin. And youre avoiding the question. Youll think im nuts. Miss raymond, what happens at midnight . sighs im gonna die. By midnight tonight ill be dead. Captions by vitac and during the surgery, dont go further than there. And keep to my left. cause thats my good side. singsongy thank you. woman sighs im shaking. Coee addict. No. Im just so excited for you. chuckles everything goes smoothly, hell be home tomtomorw. knock on door, monitor beeps alex excuse us for a second. What do you have . Hmm. Theres a mass density here in the retroperitoneal area. Ok like a sarcoma to you . Its hard to tell. Anything retroperitoneal i usually refer immediately. Could it be castlemans disease . No. He has no history of h. I. V. Or herpes. What about Desmoid Tumors . Arent desmoids super rare . Yeah. But if it is Desmoid Tumors and we cut. Theyll multiply. We cant risk it. I dont know how im going to tell him. Hey. And theres the beautiful surgeon ready to take out the babymaker. Whats going on . Why did you take that off . sighs quiet mom has a headache had a headache but now, i. Dont excedrin is fast. In fact for some, relief starts in just 15 minutes. Excedrin. Now available in geltabs. 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We will. We just need to put the brakes on until i can biopsy the mass. I dont believe this. When will we know what it is . Soon, hopefully. In the meantime, youll have to go off your meds. No. No, no, no, no. Going off the t, thats thats not an option. No. No. Riley. Testosterone puts you at a higher risk for certain types of cancer. So until we know exa of course. Well stop. reycraft okay. Um. Dr. Reid wl bring you back up to the ward. Screw that. Im not leaving. We will figure this out, okay . I give you my word. whispers were in this together, right . indistinct conversations jana, this is dr. Murphy. Are you from physio . No, actually, jana, im a psychiatrist. Hoping to talk to you about what you told dr. Harris earlier. I knew i should have kept my mouth shut. It was the drugs that made me looselipped. Jana, this is kind of important. I need to know why you feel like you want hurt yourself. No. I dont want to die. Im just fairly certain that im going to. Tonight. Someone threaten you . No. Something you heard in the news . sighs tomorrow is my birthday. The big 40. And it just so happens that no woman in my family has ever lived that long. A genetic condition . She was 39. Her last words to me were. whispers v monos. normal voice it means lets go. That must have been hard. Mm, it was weird. And then a few years ago, my only aunt died in a car crash just after her 39th birthday. inhales sharply and last march, my sister drowned on a camping trip. Do you want to guess how old she was . Jana, um. Three people dying doesnt mean that its a pattern. Actually, doctor, im fairly certain that ats the definition of a pattern. I am surrounded by death. Call me crazy. chuckles shes not delusional. She has an overvalued idea. If she was delusional, she would know more specifics like, im going to get hit with a bus at the corner of first and main. Okay. So youre saying shes not crazy then . Not a term i love to use, but no. If i had to guess, so what do we do . Tell her its all in her mind . No, actually. The opposite. I think she needs to feel that shes being heard. Okay. Ill order a fullbody c. T. Scan. chuckles didnt think youd jump on board so fast. Well, premonitions of death may seem flakey, gavin, but id rather be safe than sorry. You just fixed her leg. How are you going to justify a c. T. . Well, she was alone when she fell off that trampoline, right . Whos to say she also didnt hit her head . So his name is huell. Huell. Yeah, thats right. What kind of a name is that . Uh, its welsh, i think. Look, iit doesnt matter anyways, hes hes been my client for six months. And hes just been doing really, really good. Yeah, of course he has. He has a splendid social worker. chuckles well, not today. I kind of have a really big problem. What the huell happened . chuckles joel. I need your help. Hehe he spent 60 days at braxton. And we got him right into sober living. And hes just, you know, i mean, hes hes been doing aces. I dont like where this is going. And he didnt have the money to go to the funeral here we go. So he, um um, he had a drink, which led to an 8 ball of coke, which he shot up with dirty needle. And he ended up with a soft tissue infection in his left arm. A lymphangitic spread . Yeah. I mean, his arm is its aits a mess. But i got him admitted last ght. And i have a bed waiting for him at selby house. Okay. It sounds like you have everything under control here. So what is the problem . voice cracks well. Okay. Sonja . Yeah. Where is your client . Um, just. Huell . Huell, itsits its okay. Were here. huell, muffled voice wait, whos we . Um, just just my friend joel and i. mouths words hes um, hes. A doctor. chuckles hes inside the wall . Okay. So joel, he just he went through the panel in the ceiling to try to find a drug cabinet. To rob. And then, um. chuckles uh, he got stuck. sighs this is the problem you needed my help with . Yeah. chuckles its. Joel. Joel, please. Huell, just. Hang tight, okay . Joel i dont really have a choice. Sonja. Joel, please just there is a junkie in my wall. You know, i cant endanger this hospital just to accommodate your granted very unfortunate but still criminal client. Look, he is on parole. If you call the cops the cops cant throw him in jail for being stupid, right . No. They will put him back in jail, joel. They will. Thats not really my concern now is it, sonja . Im so sorry, but. Could you get the Fire Department on the phone, please . Look. I might be implicated in this as well. Hold up one second. What do you mean you could be implicated in this . Just. chuckles chuckles okay, look. So he called me last night from a bar, and he was out of his mind with grief and in clear violation of his parole. Now, i okay, you were obliged to rort him. Which i didnt. And i could lose my license. lowered voice what do you want me to do . lowered voice joel, just please please help me get him out without anybody else finding out. Please. Ibut, sonja, i cant just start cutting into hospital walls. I dont know his position in there for one thing. I could do him some serious harm here. I know. But, joel, i have to i have to think about ryan. I cant whispers i cant lose my job. Please. Please, im sorry. Slight change of plan here. Could you have a. Portable xray and a cast saw sent to ward room 4, please . Joel did you get a chance to review the case i sent you . Alex. I have not had an opportunity. Im sorry, ive been sno alalex. Thats al crazy road trip alex . Wow i was ii was just picturing alex trebek. Oh. Sorry to disappoint you. chuckles sonja chuckles so, alex, this is, uh, sonja. Oh, hi nice to meet you. So whats up . Rileys c. T. We both think that there is a separation between the uterus and the mass. Mmhmm. Plan b. She always has a plan b. I do the surgery laparoscopically. Okay. What does reycraft say about this . Hes not confident we can do it. And you are looking for someone to say that you can. Its a little bit of a minefield, i gotta say, alex. I know. sighs but looking at the c. T. If i could just get the scope in there, i think that i but. sighs okay. This thing turns o to be malignant. One little scratch on that mass, he could be dead in six months. I know. It gets really distorted in tre sometimes. I mean. If you promise me that you will bail at the first sign of trouble. Ill be careful not to step on any mines. clicks tongue no cameras. Thank you. Nice to meet you. Mmhmm. Lets go cut down a wall. sighs and whispers oh, god. Thank you, joel. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 9 00 is the earliest . You, thank you. 9 00 is the earliest . Yeah, okay. No, great. Ill take it. Thanks. I just booked a table at momofuku. Wanna join me . No. I have to work. sighs well, heres hoping i croak before the bill comes then. Youre not dying tonight, jana. Not on your watch. Look, just get me some crutches and get me out of here. I have ordered you a fullbody c. T. Scan. sighs there isnt time. Jana. Look, do you do you have any idea what its like to be at deaths door and stuck in a. Hospital . Um, actually, i do. You have to listen to this feeling that something isnt right. Hey. Im saying i believe you. You said that with a straight face. Well, im your doctor. Its my job to get to the bottom of. Whatever this is. I am taking you seriously. So take me seriously. Welneed to divide these adhesions to see if were good. Avoid touching that mass. You know the stakes. Thanks for that. No pressure. His pressure is fine. Im talking to reid. Get me closer, reycraft. I need to see is. There . monitor beeps alex uh, damn. Is that urine in the field . Did you nick the bladder . The bladder shouldnt be that high up. Lets check it with methylene blue. monitor beeping beeps blue is leaking into the cavity. Theres your nick. sighs clacks needle driver and some 30 monocryl. objects clatter, monitor beeps alex speaks indistinctly okay. monitor beeps beeps is that a purse string suture . Yep. Im everting the edges keep it simple, reid. Two stitches should do it. As long as it doesnt leak. alex okay, whats the next move . tom were done. No. No, no. Im fixing it. Lets keep rling. You want to end up in another m m together . Its a mor complication. Just because youre a little gunshy lucky its the bladder and not the mass. Otherwise, hed be facing a death sentence. Whats happening . Can someone deal with her, please . I can do this. No. I cant believe i let you talk me into this in the fit place. Reycraft. Its too risky. Finish your suturing. Were done. To bring you wendys North Pacific cod sandwich we send guys like this. On boats like these. In weather like this. All the way up here. For wild caught fish like this. That we panko bread like this. For a sandwich thats light, crispy and crunchy. 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Your small bowel is stuck to your bladder and uterus. Things arent in the right place. Yeah, no kidding. Okay, listeni know that you really wanted this surgery. But its not safe for you. Yoknow what, doctor . If youre not gonna do this for me, im gonna find someone on the internet who will. You need to lay back, okay . No. No. No. Screw you okay, riley, i understand that youre angry with me youre friggin right clatters look, i trusted you you stay the hell away from me holl ive never seen him like this. Well, my uterus has made me act pretty crazy at times, too. You . 80 milligrams of testosterone weekly shouldnt affect his behavior like this. We did just find out that he might have cancer. Have you been monitoringhis hormones . He hates needles. He gets me to inject them. And youre sure hes not getting them from another source . Maybe doubledipping, maybe . What . Wh are you saying . Could he be hiding it from you . We dont have any secrets. Im not making accusations. You kind of are. Hey, huell, how you doing . huell i dont feel so good. Joels just setting up the xray machine. I just need to get a picture to see how youre positioned in there, buddy. huell yeah. Wouldnt wanna end up cutting you in half. Thatthatd be good. Sorry i messed up, sonja. Look, relapse, its justits its a normal part of recovery. huell sure is the fun part. Were gonna get you out of there. blows air give me your earrings. Sorry . Your earrings. Uh, give em to me. Youll get em back. So listen, i mean, you and, uh. Trebek, youyou you used to date . We did. Yeah. Did you cohabitate . Momentarily. And, um. Shes, uh, shes single now . No. And were just friends. Come on. jacket thuds hit the lights. Okay. light switch clicks, machine clicks clicks buzzes beeps oh. joel wow. Really stuck in there. Yeah. huell yeah, guys, my arms really hurting now. What are you doing . Guys . Uh. Okay, its like, there are my earrings. Yeah. Um. Okay. Um, lets use that as a landmark. And then well, um, well cut 2 inches above that one there. Huell, can you move your arm . No. Uh, nno, i cant. Itsits pinned under me. Its starting to kill. What . Joel . Whatwhats wrong . If he loses circulation with a lymphangitic infection, he could go septic really, really fast. Weve gotta get him out of there. Uh. Were gonna need a bigger boat. Well, if it isnt crocodile dundee. Hes australian, not a kiwi. Give us a hug. Good, man. You been demoted, or what . You wanna restock my Tongue Depressors . Yeah, it looks like it, doesnt it . Hey, man, i hear congrats are in order. Youre, uh, youre speaking at a sunrise meeting tomorrow, or something . Yeah. A sunrise meeting. Mmhmm. In the old days, the only time id see a sunrise is from the back of a cruiser. cell phone vibrates ooh. Yeah. I have. A photographer all set up in my office. Cool. A photo shoot. You know the key to doing a good photo, right . Yeah, alex has already briefed me on that. Let me ask you something. Does this look like itll cut through a wall . Aah. Hey. I havent discharged you. What are you doing . He found a doctor in aruba whos willing to do his surgery. Ive tri to talk sense into him. He justhe wont hear it. So, riley, this is what you want . You want some ternet hack to operate on you . This is dangerous. No. No. No, i. I wanted you to do it, but it. I mean, it doesnt look like thats gonna happen. So i have to do what i have to do. You just had surgery. You need to stay here in the hospital. And you, you need to talk to him, and you need to hey, no, no. Dont you dare dont you this was not her decision. It was mine, okay . Shes my. Shes my. I understand that, but you need to try and relax. No, no, no, no, no, no. You dont question her, okay . Riley, can you try to stay calm, please . Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa riley take one of those pillows and take a big smell. They smell really fresh what if we told you we washed these sheets 7 days ago. Really . No way downy . 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Head to your neighborhood enterprise car sales and let the people who buy more vehicles than anyone. Change your thinking about buying your next one. [richard] a thousand people win every day at h r block. You can still win. Get in on this. Its refund season. Im home. Everythings fine. A lot happens on your wooden surfaces. Luckily, no one cleans and kills germs better ms. Stiles, your daughter has suffered a heart arrhythmia. Hes my son. Im just going by the chart. Uh, riley, have you been taking anything other than your testosterone . A sign of steroid abuse. Hold on. Which also explains your behavior. I dont have roid rage. I mean, you werent gonna do my surgery. I might have cancer. I was upset. You went through my stuff . Hey, thats an invasion of privacy. There are enough steroids in here to supply the tour de france. I mean, so. Steroids are barely even illegal anymore. Oh, no. Theyre very illegal. I was trying to bulk up. I mean, its hard to gain muscle mass when youre a vegan. Where did you get them from . Off some guy at my gym. Your c. T. Scan results, jana. Youre all clear. So im not gonna die . Mm, no, youre gonna die. In about, um. Oh, 55 years