And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 610 philly county steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh oh, my goodness. Welcome looking good. Hey, hot crowd. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it you made it. Youre here. This is the show to be at. Welcome. [ cheers and applause ] what im talkin about. Guys, you know what people are talking about. Of course, President Trump is still settling into the white house. And get this, i read that trumps gold curtains in the oval office are the same ones hillary picked out for bill clinton in 1993. [ light laughter ] so she may not be president , but hillary still figured out a a way to throw some shade. [ laughter and applause ] thats one way to do it. And according to a source close to trump, his staff is trying to get him to watch less tv, which he often does when hes bored. [ light laughter ] trouble for the only president in history who was given an ipad during state dinners to keep him from squirming. [ laughter and applause ] dont draw on the tablecloth i wanna watch yo gabba gabba. Stop [ light laughter ] trump is trying to get down to business, though. In fact, he met with the ceos of general motors, ford, and chrysler this week to try and convince them to make more cars in the u. S. [ cheers and applause ] he even pitched them the idea for a new car the really, really smart car. Smarter than youd ever believe. [ laughter and applause ] that i can tell you. That i can tell you. This has a lot of people upset. Trumps administration has officially ordered the National Parks to stop tweeting about climate change. [ audience boos ] heres what one National Parks representative had to say to President Trump about it. Watch this. Only you can stop me from tweeting about climate change. But you cant stop me from snapchatting, beeyotch. [ laughter and applause ] steve really . Jimmy smokey steve smokey the bear . Jimmy smokey steve such language. Jimmy smokey, watch yourself this is pretty crazy. There are reports that trump advisor Kellyanne Conway actually punched a guy while trying to break up a fight at trumps inaugural ball. [ light laughter ] though she says it wasnt a a punch. It was an alternative high five. [ laughter and applause ] but its still steve alternative. Jimmy this is pretty cool. I saw that Arnold Schwarzenegger met today. Yeah. When the pope heard it was the guy that said ill be back, he said, oh, i was expecting someone else. [ laughter and applause ] sorry. I had high hopes. But i love your work. And this is just a weird story. Texas police are looking for a a man who stole a 1,700 fender guitar by stuffing it down his pants. [ light laughter ] theyll know that theyve found the right guy when they show him a victorias secret catalog and he goes [ guitar riff ] thats him. Arrest him, arrest him. [ applause ] arrest him right now. Steve hey gstring. [ laughter ] jimmy gstring. [ guitar riff ] finally, everyone is starting to get excited for the super bowl between the falcons and the patriots. [ cheers and applause ] also, lady gaga will be doing the halftime show this year and they are saying that it could be the most expensive halftime show in history at 10 million. Then three d d free. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, why wouldnt you call us . We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, guys. We were all really saddened today to hear about the passing of Mary Tyler Moore. [ audience aws ] she was a pioneer, not just for television and comedy, but for women. Her character on the Mary Tyler Moore show was really the first single working woman on tv. Shes been on television my whole life. Me and my family would have dinners and tch the Mary Tyler Moore show. So i almost feel like she is part of my family, too. Thats when you love someone that much. School year book quote was, a little song, a little dance, a a little seltzer down your pants. [ laughter ] from the chuckles the clown, episode. One of the funniest moments on television. She was one of the coolest, one of the classiest, one of the funniest people ever. Thank you for making us all laugh. [ cheers and applause ] guys, its been a great week so far. There is more ahead. Tomorrow night, danny devito will be here. [ cheers and applause ] we love danny. Steve love that man. Jimmy then on friday, our pal Drew Barrymore will be stopping by. Steve oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are going to attempt to break a few Guinness World records together. So be sure to tune in for that. Yeah, like officially. Steve for real. Jimmy yeah, yeah, really, yeah. But first, we have a big show tonight. We love her. She is reprising her Tony Awardwinning role as Norma Desmond in the broadway musical, sunset boulevard. The incredibly talented glenn close is here. Steve ye. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hot ticket. Steve hot ticket. Jimmy thats a hot ticket right there. Sunset boulevard. She is so much fun. Glenn and i are going to catch up, then were gonna do a fun race through our studio a a little later on in the show involving some very fast scooters. [ light laughter ] plus, from the fxx comedy man seeking woman, jay baruchel is dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] hes killing it this season. Steve yeah. Jimmy hes really good. And we have a very, very funny standup comedian. Candice thompson is here on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] its a fun show. Guys, you know how they say a a picture is worth a thousand words . Well, it is also worth one meme. [ light laughter ] ill show you what im talking about. It is time for this week in memes. [ cheers and applause ] this week in memes this week in memes yeah jimmy you know what happened memes are, right, jimmy yes, photos with the words under them . [ light laughter ] steve nope. Jimmy nope . Steve okay. Jimmy no problem. First, lets take a look at this photo of donald and Melania Trump sharing a slow dance. This meme is called, when baes heel just stabbed you in the foot. [ laughter and applause ] steve ahh. Words. Jimmy heres a photo of the japanese prime minister. [ light laughter ] his meme says, when you in the back of class after getting turnt all night. [ laughter and applause ] steve turnt . Jimmy he got turnt. Steve he got turnt. Jimmy yeah. He was turnt the night before. Steve the abe. Jimmy now take a look at this next photo of a frog with snails on his head. [ light laughter ] this meme says, when you realize you may have been sold knockoff beats by dre. [ laughter and applause ] steve princess leia. Jimmy next up, heres a a photo of german chancellor angela merkel. [ light laughter ] this ones called, when you get a juicy text from bae in the middle of a work meeting. [ laughter and applause ] steve sausage. Jimmy sauce. Extra sauce. Steve saucy. Jimmy saucy. Steve sausage. [ light laughter ] jimmy saucy. [ light laughter ] steve oh, saucy. Jimmy yeah. Steve i thought it was a a picture of a sausage. [ laughter ] germans love their sausages, man. Jimmy no, no. Yeah, thats true. So its like a food text. Steve yeah, sure, food. [ light laughter ] jimmy next is a photo of two brothers trying to break a a world record. Their meme says, when youll do anything to cover ya bald spot. [ laughter and applause ] quick, balance on my head, quick. Its my exgirlfriend. Next up we have russian president vladimir putin. His meme says, when they want to split the bill and you only ate a salad. [ laughter and applause ] come on. [ russian accent ] i got dozen wings. I only ate two wings. [ light laughter ] you ate all the hot wings. Next we have a photo of the panda. [ audience aws ] this meme is called, when your airbnb not what it looked like on da website. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, here is a photo of kim jongun. His meme says, er, my gerd, a a berkperk. [ laughter ] that was this week in memes. Well be right back with more of the tonight show. Come on back. [ cheers and applause ] im insanely passionate about the environment, which is why i love the cascara latte. Cascara is the fruit that is outside of the coffee bean itself. And when it is dried, weve been using it to make the flavor that will be in our cascara latte. And it has this subtle sweetness that has a really lovely flavor. Everything you do in life should be something that you care about. Thats really what its about its taking something thats usually forgotten and turning it into something beautiful. 48 hours of protection. I dont have to reapply this. Not once its really soft and almost velvety. As you put it on. Its like reaaally soft. Try dove advance care. For softer, smoother underarms. Versus a lube strip. With a hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40 less friction. Its designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. Sorry, lube strip. Schick hydro®. Free your skin®. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. Welcome back, everybody. It is time for tonight show kids letters. Here we go. Tonight show kid letters kid letters tonight show jimmy we love this bit. We get letters from kids all over the world. And they send us ideas, and jokes, and suggestions for the show. Theyre always great. I wanted to share some with you right now. These are real letters from real kids. We do not make this up. Our first kid letter comes from a kid named jimmy. Hes nine years yeah, good name. Hes 9yearsold. 9yearsold. Jimmy. Im seriously jimmy, james. [ light laughter ] yo, jim. Dude. Im nine. Little jim here. [ light laughter ] hows it hanging . I like your face. Youre funny. I love you, jimmy. Doublejimmyforlife. [ light laughter ] heres a pic of you carrying me as the sun sets over a rainbow. P. S. , im the worst drawler in the community. [ laughter and applause ] i think hes got i think its pretty good. Steve come on. Hes a good drawler. Jimmy i love that. Steve i love that drawling. Jimmy thank you, jimmy. Thank you, jimmy. Thank you, james. Thank you, jimbo. Steve dude jimmy dude im nine. Steve thats my man. Jimmy dude steve come on dude. Jimmy im nine, dude. Steve how old are you, dude . Jimmy this next no, dude nine. [ light laughter ] steve nine. Jimmy this next letter is he is 6yearsold. He writes, hi, jimmy fallon. Shane here. You know i love your show. You dont need to make any changes to your show. And my mom says that i can take over for you some day. [ light laughter ] by the way, im six so you have about 25 years. So have fun. [ laughter and applause ] thats a threat. Steve no, its a promise. Jimmy that is a threat. This one is from brooke. She is 8yearsold. She writes, dear jimmy, my name is brooke. I loved you on icarly. But [ light laughter ] we we were on icarly. Steve we were on icarly, it was great. Jimmy remember . That was a great episode. [ light laughter ] was it a twoparter . We were only on steve is it an hourlong . Jimmy it was an hourlong episode. Thats right. Steve are they all an hour long . Jimmy no, its not. No. [ light laughter ] i loved you on icarly, but my mom likes your night time show. My mom and me were playing the game guess who and we noticed one of the people looks like the piano player in the roots. Were also including a picture for you. Your friend, brooke. Lets see the photo there. [ laughter ] can we do a side by side . Does that look like james . [ laughter and applause ] not bad. James. Can you look james. Can you look up . Can you look up . Yeah, thats it. Yeah. [ laughter ] wait, james. Can you put a is there, is there a goatee . Can you put maybe let me see what that looks like. There you go. Yeah. Now thats [ laughter and applause ] not bad. Thats good. Steve so cute. Jimmy thats pretty good. Yeah. This one is from josh. He is 8yearsold. Said, hi, im josh. Im in second grade. Can you do yoga when you do thank you letters . Im just saying. Heres a picture. Jimmy, jimmy. And theres a a crosslegged picture of me. It looks like im wearing like, a coconut bra. And anyways. [ laughter ] steve [ indiscernible ] jimmy i dont know i dont know whats going on. But it looks good. It looks cool. I would try that. Im in. Is that the desk, i think . Steve yeah. Jimmy oh, oh. Im saying, ohm. Ohm, my gosh, is what im saying. Oh, yeah. Heres heres another drawing. This is a this is one of my favorite drawings ive ever seen. This is of me. And i dont really like drawings of me that much. I i just think i look odd. But this makes me feel good about myself when i see it, a a really nice portrait is. Abdullah, hes 8yearsold and he sent a portrait. Here it is, heres what i look like. [ laughter and applause ] steve belongs in a museum. That is beautiful. Jimmy its actually pretty good. Its like three three dimensional. Its good because, the logos behind me. Steve the logos behind you. Your tie is very kinetic. [ light ht steve or jimmy 1,000 teeth. This ah our last letter here is one from annie. She is 9yearsold. Dear mr. Fallon, my name is annie. I am nine. My brother is 12. He can catch grapes in his mouth. He says he can he says only he can do it. Can you do it . He is wrong. Your friend, annie. Steve hes saying hes the only one in the world who can do it. Jimmy there theres a a highly detailed drawing there of me throwing a grape. Again, i look a little angry. And annie, this is for you, pal. [ cheers and applause ] steve dont keep it oh, my god hes caping it jimmy annie, i hope youre watching [ cheers and applause ] thats all the time we have for kid letters. Letters. I love you. Want to see yours on the show, email them to kidletters tonightshow. Com. Stick around, well be right back with glenn close everybody. [ cheers and applause ] remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. Put a 70 screen on a wall. Get a 10x optical zoom. Get excited world. Hello moto. Moto is here. The moto z with motomods. Get 50 off on moto z droid. Theres more than one route to the top. The lexus ls and lx. Each offering leadingedge comfort, safety and performance technologies. The ultimate in refinement meets the ultimate in capability. Lease the 2017 lx 570 see your lexus dealer. Imy moderate to severeng crohns disease. I didnt think there was anything else to talk about. But then i realized there was. So, i finally broke the silence with my doctor about what i was experiencing. He said humira is for people like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohns disease. In clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. And many achieved remission. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. If youre still just managing your symptoms, talk with your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, remission is possible. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is an emmy, tony and golden globe Award Winning actress. Oh, shes one of the best. Starting next month, shes returning to broadway in sunset boulevard, which begins previews february 2nd, opens february 9th at the Palace Theater right here in new york city. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome glenn close [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, you are fantastic welcome back i love you. Welcome back to the show. Thank you. Jimmy thats how a star enters. Come on, youre the greatest. How is everything going . Everythings fantastic . Great. Yeah. Were halfway through tech rehearsals. Jimmy how exciting is that. Yep. Very exciting. Jimmy isnt that fun to be in front of a Live Audience . It is. It really is. Yeah. [ cheers ] jimmy nothing like it. I think of the audience as my collaborators. Jimmy yeah. You know . Because theyre the final ingredient. Anit create together every night. Jimmy really is. You feed off each other, yeah. Im sure you feel it. Jimmy i love it, yeah. You have been performing since you were a kid. What was fingernails . Do you remember the fingernails . The group was polish. It was a group that we had in high school. Jimmy the group was polish. Thats a great slogan. There you go. It was Rosemary Hall which was kind of a a girls school which is now choate Rosemary Hall. And the great force, the moving force of the fingernails is Sarah Kernochan whos married to james lapine whos kind of a a broadway legend. And shes a screen writer in her own right and we would change the lyrics of the popular songs of the day. And the school, for some reason, let us put on assemblies. Jimmy so you would just put on shows like the little rascals or whatever and just yeah. We did a skit of tarzan and jane, only it was Steve Mcqueen and charles bronson. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah thats perfect yeah, exactly yeah. Do you remember changing do you remember any of the songs that you did . Yeah, i do. Jimmy can you give me a a little taste of one . Okay, yeah well it was because sarah was incredibly precocious, it was to splish splash, it was her version of the fall of the house of greek so it went splish splash i was taking a bath long about a saturday night rub dub just a laxing in the tub thinking everything was all right well i looked up and there to my surprise was my wife clytemnestra that look in her eyes well splish splash i was back in the bath how was i to know she was a fixing with the ax she went a splashing and a prancin i was a rocking and a rollin [ laughter ] bleeding an a screaming and man alive there was a jimmy hey fingernails. [ cheers and applause ] the group was polish right there. [ applause ] i love that thank you. I cannot wait to go see you on broadway. Im coming. The Opening Night is february 9th. February 9th. Yes, i would love it if you would be there. Jimmy how fun is this . This is like you did this in 1994 right . 94. But the thing thats so exciting about this, i did it this spring in london. I had brought back to broadway with me making their debuts three fantastic british actors. Theyre all making their broadway debut. Jimmy how exciting. It will be the largest orchestra on broadway in 50 years. We have 40 musicians on stage with us. Jimmy so really, really . [ cheers and applause ] i mean thats gotta to be in that theater, its got to sound amazing. I mean, if you have a a toupee, really paste it on very, very well. Jimmy thats good advice. Its gonna be plastered on the back wall. Jimmy fly right off. Yeah. Jimmy this is andrew lloyd webber. And now with this play opening on broadway, he will be the only second composer in the history of broadway to have four shows currently in production on broadway. Four musicals. Yep, four shows at the same time. I think four musicals at the same time. Jimmy school of rock, phantom of the opera, cat and sunset boulevard. How is he well, hes a genius. Jimmy yeah. Hes very, very witty. And the one thing i like about i mean i like a lot of things about andrew but the one thing that i really, really love is that you know, we went into this and i said, i dont want to do anything i did before. I want to come at it with absolutely fresh eyes, which we did. And he came in, and with the i mean he was orchestrating, you know, because he had 40 musicians that he can work with. So it is like a movie score. It is absolutely gorgeous. Jimmy really . And does it feel different you to doing it now it is very, very different. Jimmy how do you i get nervous because i have people come on the show that are from that are performing on broadway. And i go, i dont know how you do all these shows. You have to hit all these notes. You have to sing every night. I mean, its its daunting, actually. You everybody becomes quite like hypochondriac because you have to take care of your voice. Jimmy lot of people come on and they go like [ whispers doing the show. Yeah, exactly. I also like to get Little People little tips from people of how to vocal exercises. And you have one well i learned a lot in england. There is a straw technique which is actually used i also heard about the straw technique from rene fleming, you know the great opera singer. And you do it with little cocktail straws. [ laughter ] jimmy i usually have a few cocktails before the show so i just [ light laughter ] [ talking over each other ] i am and tipsy tonight. [ cheers ] you blow through it. Make sure you and then you do a sliding scale. You go [ light laughter ] you go and what that does, it kind of relaxes and realigns your vocal chords. Jimmy i thought it was fantastic. [ light laughter ] theres we always end up talking about yes exactly. Darling, we always end up talking about always end up talking about new york city and how fantastic it is as a city. It is wonderful. Jimmy it is very wonderful. You have been here for 40 years. Have i. Jimmy if feels like just yesterday doesnt it. It was, 74. 74. None of you were born. You certainly werent born. Jimmy actually i was. That was the year twas born. [ laughter ] good day to you. I always like to find out like a good fun new york story. And cause this is always all these fun, cool magical things happening in the great city. And you have a cool story that it just, it just kind of fun that way things work. New york yeah. I have gotten to be wonderful friends with lady gagas mom, cynthia, whos wonderful. And we were having lunch. And she said, you know, i came from west virginia. And i lived in this apartment on bank street and i havent been back since i came to new york. I said, why dont we go see it . So we walked it was down in the village. We walked over and there was a a building looking exactly the same. With this dog and said, would you like to stand in the lobby to get out of the rain . We said, sure. And then we started talking in the lobby. And cynthia said, i used to live in this building. The woman said, what apartment . Then she said, i dont know. 3b or something. She said, thats my apartment. So, i said, lets go up and see it. [ light laughter ] jimmy i mean, right . Yeah. Jimmy is it insane . Yes so this woman kind of had army fatigues. We went up the stairs, into the apartment. This woman was a she was fabulous. If youre watching this, whoever you were, you were wonderful. She was a horror movie fanatic and she had horror movie posters all over her apartment. But we sat there. We took pictures, we looked out of the window. And it was, bye, it was great meeting you. [ light laughter ] jimmy did you tell her that it was lady gagas mom . I said going out. I said you have to tell her. Cause she had recognized me. Sa and cynthia, said, oh really, you think so . I said, yeah. She said, im gagas mother. She went, oh, my god jimmy isnt that a good fun, magical new york story . And then we walked out of her life and it was beautiful drama. Jimmy i love it. I love it. If youre watching, how cool. We love you. You were wonderful. Jimmy that was nice of you. Yeah, it was. Jimmy well, since were both new yorkers and i thought maybe we could do a fun scooter race thats centered around new york city. You always are up for a good little race or competition or something. I want to do pogo sticks with you but apparently you dont do pogo sticks. Jimmy do we not do pogo sticks . Ive done everything. We sumo wrestled before. We did. Jimmy youre the most fun, all right good. Glenn close and i are racing after the break. Should be fun. [ cheers and applause ] lets do this. vo when youre on your phone 24 7, you probably think you need an unlimited plan. But actually, the majority of people pay for data they never use. Thats right, two out of three people use less than five gigs. Now verizon introduces the one plan thats right for you. Switch, and for just 55 get five gigs on americas best network. Thats tons of data at a cost thats less than an unlimited plan. And the best part, no surprise overages. Finally, all the data you need, on the network you want. Verizon. I believe in me too. I am the unicorn of your confidence there are now twice as many fourdollar value menu items. Thats right, america. We just created the greatest value menu in the world. Boom. [ cheers and applause ] already. Strategies already. Im thinking weight distribution. Im trying to think. But you have your feet out. Thats very interesting. Guys, welcome back. Im here with glenn close. You can see her on broadway in sunset boulevard starting february 9th. [ cheers and applause ] glenn close come on. Now, got to get in a a competitive mode here. Glenn and i are about to face off in a horsedrawn carriage race through a snowy new york city. Now heres how the race will work. We are going to head out these doors right here and were going to say hello to our mascot hashtag. There he is. Hey, whats up buddy. [ cheers and applause ] all right pal, hey, dancing. All right, um were going to make a left to the Elevator Bank there. Going to go around those kids that are having a snowball fight. Were going to weave through the dog walkers in the hallway. And then were going to take a a right turn at kevin the trash talking moose. Fallon youre so slow that it takes you a an hour and a ooh the moose is loose [ light laughter ] jimmy finally, well have to avoid those times square characters trying to keep warm in the steam docks. [ laughter ] is that a yeti in the middle . Whats in the middle there . I know spiderman in the other one. First one to break through the finish line is the carriage race champion. Glenn, are you ready . You sure, legs out . Yeah. Jimmy higgins, count us down. [ cheers ] three, two, one race [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my god oh, my gosh oh my gosh. [ laughter ] you rotten kids that one hit me in the face, you nerd. Oh my gosh. Whoa boy, whoa boy. Jimmy hey, get lost you nerds. Whoa boy oh my, oh my, my gosh. [ growling ] youre not even close youre not even close turn left here . [ cheers ] jimmy oh my gosh. Glenn close, everybody [ cheers and applause ] i burned rubber back there. More tonight show after the break. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] versus a lube strip. With a hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40 less friction. Its designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. Sorry, lube strip. Schick hydro®. Free your skin®. Wecagefree eggs. Ng and we care about amazing taste. Because at hellmanns, were on the side of food. Before you set out, you plan to capture every moment. But what you really cant plan for is when the moment captures you. Marriott now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is a a funny and talented actor you know from such movies as knocked up, tropic de hes currently starring on the fxx show man seeking woman, which airs wednesday nights at 10 30 p. M. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome jay baruchel. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy nice to see you, buddy look great. Jimmy looking good. I dont i dont get to see you enough, because you you live in canada. I do, indeed. Yes. [ cheers ] yeah, thank you. [ light laughter ] i support it as well. Jimmy yeah, its my own lifestyle choice. Jimmy you youre a very proud canadian. I am indeed, yeah. Jimmy you just directed your first film. Congratulations on this. Thank you. Jimmy i didnt even i didnt know if i did i know that you wrote the first movie . Uh, i dont know. I dont know what you know. Jimmy thats true, you dont. [ light laughter ] and im never going to tell. I try not to be presumptuous. But, yeah, i got to direct a a movie called on the enforcers that is the sequel to a movie called goon that i wrote, that came out a a couple years ago. Jimmy goon was fantastic yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Seann William scott. That is that is the right reaction. Jimmy yeah, that was a a great reaction. Thank you, yeah. And so we have number two coming out, across canada on st. Paddys day, and trying to figure out how it comes out down here. But well well have that very soon. Jimmy but this is this is about a hockey goon, a a hockey player. Hockey enforcer, yeah. Thats right. Jimmy yeah, thats a good name for it. Yeah. Yeah. The sort of, one of the oddest jobs in professional sports is a guy on, i mean, kind of being worked out of the nhl. But, yeah. Theres a guy on every hockey team, used to be, whose job was just to fight. And seems to be pretty Fertile Ground for drama and comedy. And im slightly biased, because i adore the movie we made. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, i thought you were going to say you like hockey. But yeah, of course, yeah. You like the this also had jimmy i donke yeah. Did you play hockey . Oh, god. I i am jimmy must have, yeah . Arguably the worlds worst skater. No. Its i this is going to come as like a massive surprise. I am not the most athletically inclined person. [ light laughter ] jimmy oh, my god. What is that reaction . [ laughter ] jimmy shocker. See, that that implies that jimmy no, they dont theyre laughing at something else. Theyre laughing at something else. [ light laughter ] no, it believe it or not, most of it is just like my crippling laziness. I just, like you know, it just wasnt ever worth it. You know, whatever practice i would go through, the minute that i would do whatever like so, hitting a baseball. Skating around a rink once without falling. And i would do it. And i was like, this this is it . This is what im working towards . Id much rather read comics in my bedroom. So uh, yeah. Jimmy yeah. And be a fan, and root for, and watch hockey. Thats exactly it. Thats exactly that. I realized at a certain point youre not good at sports, means you can still doesnt mean you cant enjoy them. And so, ive leveled out. Jimmy there you go. [ light laughter ] so, we can enjoy the sequel around, after st. Paddys day thats right. Jimmy or we can just go to canada around st. Paddys day and see it. Thats exactly right. Jimmy thats what were all going to do. Come on up, you can stay with me. [ light laughter ] jimmy there you go. Airbnb it, man. Thats right. Jimmy thats what im talking about. [ cheers and applause ] good reactions all night jimmy oh, they love you, man. Come on. Man seeking woman. This is the third season of this. Yeah, i know, its crazy. Jimmy congratulations. Thats fantastic. Thank you. Thank you. Jimmy and i think the critics obviously responding, they love it. But this this seasons the best one yet. I think so, yeah. We kind of did a, did kind of a a crazy thing which is like for the you know, 14 of you that have ever seen man seeking woman, we do a very kind of truthful absurdist take on what it is to be single. And so for us to add a Love Interest in this season and have me move in with somebody season, its like, how do we do that hard a pov shift, but still give the weird show that weve been giving people. Jimmy it is great. Its refreshing. And i adore it. Jimmy its different. Its i think this is this is a good year, man. Thank you. Thank you very much. Jimmy its very, very, very, very funny. Great writing on that show. And great directing as well. I want to show a clip. Heres jay baruchel in man seeking woman. Take a look at this. I am so excited. Finally get to meet the famous paddy greenberg. Whatcha doing, josh . Uh, well, i read online that yoga relaxes you, so i tried doing yoga. But i injured myself pretty badly, so now im just trying to make it better. Josh, why are you so nervous . Uh, look. Lucy, i know how awesome you are. But my mother is a very particular person. And her house has like a a million weird little rules. Josh, its totally fine. Its going to be cool. Well just well just feel it out, okay . Youll just feel it out . Are you crazy . Theyre just parents. Its fine. You dont understand. You dont know what youre walking into. You dont know what these [ light laughter ] jimmy jay baruchel [ cheers and applause ] man seeking woman airs wednesdays at 10 30 p. M. On fxx. Goon 2, st. Paddys day were going to canada thats it. See you there. Jimmy we have standup from Candice Thompson next. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my next guest can be seen at the Hollywood Improv in california february 24th, and at the comedy store in la jolla, california, march 2nd through the 4th. Making her tonight show debut, please welcome Candice Thompson [ cheers and applause ] this is so exciting to be here, you guys thank you. [ cheers and applause ] yes. Out really great for me. I found out that i have a a peeping tom. [ light laughter ] yes, that is correct. That is a guy who has been outside of my window watching me without my knowledge. And i found out about this. You know, i called my friend immediately and she was like panicking, oh, my god, what are you going to do . What are you going to do . And i was like, well, nothing. This is actually the healthiest relationship i have ever been in. [ light laughter ] like he is loyal. [ laughter ] he shows up at the same time every night. [ laughter ] says very positive things about my body, you know. I think im going to make this peeping tom thing work. What does it say about me that ive been working out more since i know hes been watching me . [ laughter ] what does that say about me that ive reviewed my gym membership . Look, i got to keep these abs tight, cause i dont want to come home and hes at the neighbors window because thats just that is rejection. [ applause ] what are you looking rhonda for . [ light laughter ] then i got to have a talk with rhonda. Excuse me, rhonda, i just want to let you know that youre just his side peep. [ laughter ] right. He might come dabble over at your window when he gets lonely, but he always comes back to me. [ laughter and applause ] thats my man. I have a very hard time dating, because i have a great father. [ laughter ] you dont normally hear that, do you . What you normally hear is women complaining about how hard it is to date when they dont have a good father. Because they dont have that role model to look up to and they dont know how guys are supposed to treat them. But on the flip side, when you have a great father, you know exactly how youre supposed to be treated and it stinks. [ light laughter ] because now you have standards. And every guy lives in the shadow of my amazing father. And just to give you an idea of what im talking about, my father is so great that he has never let my mom pump gas. True story. Truery theyve been together for 40 years. And in 40 years, Joyce Thompson has never touched a gas pump. [ light laughter ] meanwhile, im dating guys that siphon gas out of my tank. [ laughter and applause ] yeah. Me and my sister are both very single and it is my dads fault for being too perfect. You know, he just had to come home every night, didnt he . He just had to come home every night and pay the bills and love us and stuff. You know . Like what are you doing . You know . My friend, debbie, she had a a terrible father growing up and shes been unhappily married now for six years and that could have been me [ laughter and applause ] no. No. My father had to drink alcohol in moderation. [ laughter ] hes selfish. I grew up in a twoparent household, which i dont like because people expect you to succeed. [ light laughter ] yeah, its a lot of pressure. Its actually gotten to the point when i envy my friends who dont have fathers, because they get to mess up a little bit. You know . My friend debbie that i mentioned, who didnt have a a father growing up, every little thing that she did, everyone was so impressed by it. Candice, can you believe debbie got her g. E. D . [ laughter ] can you believe it . It is a miracle, praise jesus. You know she doesnt have a a father. [ laughter and applause ] meanwhile, i come home with a a fouryear degree, come home to all types of disappointment. A bachelors degree. With all of your parents . [ laughter ] what are you doing . You should have been an astronaut lawyer. [ laughter and applause ] get it together. Its a waste of parents. [ laughter ] now i am mixed. Native american. And apparently, when the two most oppressed races unite, this child just comes out looking white. [ laughter and applause ] thank you. That actually is the recipe if you go on pinterest. [ laughter ] but the one thing that ive always wanted that ive never gotten throughout life is the nod. And if you dont know what the nod is the nod is when a a black person walks into a a room and makes eye contact with the only other black person in the room, something magical happens. And it looks Something Like this. [ laughter and applause ] thats the nod. You guys have been fantastic. Ive been Candice Thompson. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my gosh side peep. Candice thompson [ cheers and applause ] Candice Thompson for more from caic candicethompsoncomedy. Com. My thanks to glenn close, jay baruchel, Candice Thompson once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight katie couric, star of gold, actress bryce dallas howard, writer matt taibbi. Featuring the 8g band with darren king. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, everybody, im seth meyers,. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. Greenpeace activists climbed to the top of a construction crane overlooking the white house, and unfurled a banner printed with the word resist. Look at this incredible photo