The official twitter account for the Republican Party yesterday, tweeted a fake Abraham Lincoln quote. Okay, yeah, i i knew that didnt look right. [ laughter ] President Trump today held a press conference with canadian Prime Minister justin trudeau. Just look at those two. It looks like a debate between a snowboarding instructor and a ghost that drowned. [ laughter ] trudy and the beast. [ light laughter ] President Trump today, spoke on the phone with the president s of nigeria and south africa, and i just pray that before those calls, someone told him how to pronounce nigeria. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow is valentines day, and to celebrate, education secretary betsy devos, made her own candies. [ laughter ] have lunch with Chris Christie tomorrow. Just a salad please, said christie, when asked if there was anything on the menu he didnt want. [ laughter ] apples stock hit an alltime high today, and i think i know why. [ light laughter ] during their grammy performance last night, a rap group a tribe called quest, referred to President Trump as president agent orange. Its the closest trump has come to being involved in vietnam. [ light laughter ] [ audience oohs ] cant dodge it forever. [ light laughter ] a california congressman is reportedly planning on filing a bill, that would require the white house to have a resident psychiatrist. Heres how that would go, ivanka. A wall on the mexican border. Ivanka building a wall on the mexican border. A wellattended inauguration. [ laughter and applause ] a new dating app called hotline launched today, that requires the first form of contact, to connect with someone to be a phone call. So, am i just supposed to describe it . Asked anthony wiener. [ light laughter ] taco bell is considering opening locations in china, which sounds fun, until you read your fortune. [ light laughter ] and finally, today was clean out your computer day, and if youre a 14yearold boy, use bleach. [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is the host of hbos last week tonight, our friend john oliver is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] so excited to talk, again, after his great premiere last night. Also last night on hbo, the final season of girls began. Shes one of the stars of that fantastic show, zosia mamet is back with us. [ cheers and applause ] so happy to have her. Before we get to all that, President Trump spent the weekend dealing with crises, both abroad, and within his own government. All while conducting Sensitive National security meetings in the dining room of his private club in florida. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] trump spent the weekend with Prime Minister shinzo abe of japan, and of course the trumpabe summit began on friday, with his now infamous oval office handshake. Youve probably all seen by now, a handshake so long and uncomfortable, it lasted for a full 19 seconds. [ light laughter ] whats going on there . Was he trying to shake his hand or stop him from leaving . Dont let go. When you let go, they ask me questions. [ light laughter ] and then of course, in an instantly iconic moment, there was the face abe made after trump finally let go of his hand. [ laughter and applause ] abes face reminds me of the ancient japanese saying, what the [ bleep ] up with this guy . [ laughter ] and you were only in his grip for 19 seconds, were looking at four years over here. [ light laughter ] so after handshake, the mini series, trump and abe headed to florida, to spend the weekend at trumps private club, maralago. Where they were soon confronted with an International Crisis, when north korea testfired a ballistic missile. So, where did trump deal with this crisis . Well, according to cnn, trump took the call on a mobile phone at his table, which was set squarely in the middle of the private clubs dining area. Maralagos wealthy members looked on from theyre tables with a keyboard player crooning in the background. [ light laughter ] keyboard player. To be fair, its been official policy for years, that whenever the president deals with an International Crisis, there must be a keyboard player crooning in the background. [ light laughter ] in fact, instagram photos from the maralago members, seemed to capture the moment trump, abe and their teams,e [ light laughter ] trump knows where the camera is. Look at him. Hes making a face like a sitcom dad saying, north korea, youve done it again. [ light laughter ] wah, wah, wah but trump didnt let an International Crisis ruin his night, as he still found time to entertain some of the patrons of his club. According to cnn, trump nonetheless, found it impossible to resist dropping in on a nearby wedding reception. Trump took a photo with the bride and her brides maids, then he grabbed a microphone. I saw them out on the lawn today, trump said of the bride and groom, who were standing nearby. I said to the Prime Minister of japan, i said, come on, shinzo. Lets go over and say hello. [ light laughter ] theyve been members of this club for a long time. Theyve paid me a fortune. [ audience oohs ] thats right. They paid a fortune to join a private club, because the last thing you want during your wedding is some lunatic wandering in off the street, and grabbing the microphone. [ light laughter ] north korea wasnt the only crisis trump was dealing with over the weekend. There was also a crisis within his own government, over his Michael Flynn. And some possibly illegal phone calls flynn had with the Russian Ambassador to the u. S. The Trump Administration facing new scrutiny over its relationship with russia, after the Washington Post reported National Security advisor Michael Flynn, may have illegally communicated with moscows ambassador about the removal of russian sanctions. There were five conversations between Michael Flynn and the Russian Ambassador. A close aide now says flynn has quote no recollection of discussing sanctions, but quote couldnt be certain that the topic never came up. Seth he talked to the Russian Ambassador five times, but couldnt be certain if they talked about russian sanctions . Thats like me saying i talked to Serena Williams on the phone five times, but i cant say for sure whether or not anyone mentioned tennis. [ light laughter ] now even aside from the potential illegality of the conversation, the realization that flynn may have discussed lifting sanctions with the Russian Ambassador, while obama was still in office, makes this mike pence interview from january, where pence said the i talked to general flynn yesterday, and the conversations that that took place at that time were not in any way related to new u. S. Sanctions. Seth so either flynn straightup lied to mike pence, or Mike Pence Lied to us. But of course, to mike pence, a lie is just a truth that hasnt gone through conversion therapy yet. [ laughter and applause ] it can change. Give it a chance. It can change. Now, all of this comes after previous diplomatic incidents, caused by trumps tense and bizarre calls with leaders of u. S. Allies, like a australia and mexico, and those diplomatic incidents seem to be giving americans some pause. According to the gallup poll, only 29 of u. S. Adults think leaders of other countries respect president donald trump. By comparison, when president george w. Bush took office in 2001, half of americans thought World Leaders respected him. Fewer americans think trump is respected by World Leaders than ou and remember, george w. Bush literally, almost got stuck behind a door in china. Thank you all very much. [ light laughter ] seth that was embarrassing. Be honest. [ applause ] its a long time ago, but thats embarrassing. And it is nice that at least now we finally have a president , who knows how to open a door. Its always good if you dont fall out of the bus. Like ford gerald ford. Remember . Down below. Fold it out. Hello . [ light laughter ] seth now it may be no surprise to you, that being president is an extremely complex and difficult job, but apparently it is a surprise to trump himself, because politico reported last week, that being president is harder than donald trump thought. According to aides and allies who say hes growing increasingly frustrated with the challenges of running the massive federal bureaucracy. Much of an interest in detail, even when it comes to National Security. According to the new york times, National SecurityCouncil Staff members are now being told to keep papers to a single page, with lots of graphics and maps. The president likes maps, one official said. [ laughter ] and ideally, theyre like those maps at the mall that tell you where you are. [ laughter ] the oval office, but i dont want to be here. I hate it here but trump has apparently, come up with a trick for avoiding the appearance that he doesnt know what hes talking about at meetings. A senior Government Official told politico that when discussions get bogged down in details, the president s been known to quickly change the subject, to seem in control at all times. So, what kinds of things does trump like to change the subject to in these closed door meetings . Well, apparently he likes a nice, breezy change of pace. Some small talk, some discussion of the weather, and of course, the deranged Conspiracy Theory that millions of people voted illegally in the 2016 election. What are you learning . Is the president s still talking about massive voter fraud . Yeah, thats exactly right. He had that meeting with ng senators a bipartisan group, and in that meeting he brought up for the second time, in a closedoor sit down with u. S. Lawmakers the idea of voter fraud, in this case specifically New Hampshire. Trump said the only reason he lost New Hampshire wolf, was because thousands were bused in from massachusetts to give Hillary Clinton the win in that state. Seth so the president of the United States thinks thousands of people were bused in from massachusetts, to illegally vote in New Hampshire . Im from New Hampshire, and i can tell you wed notice if thousands of people from massachusetts showed up on buses. Thats the invasion were most afraid of. [ light laughter ] were here for your taxfree liquor and your foliage lay down your arms lay down your arms [ laughter and applause ] so the white house had to dispatch someone to the sunday shows to defend trumps wild conspiracy theories, without actually offering any evidence. Who would it be . Its new entry in President Trumps toolbox, steven miller. Ive actually having worked before on a campaign in New Hampshire, i can tell into New Hampshire is widely known by anyone whose worked in New Hampshire politics. Its very real, its very serious. This morning on this show is not the venue for me to lay out all the evidence. The president made a statement saying he was the victim of voter fraud. People being bused from massachusetts to New Hampshire. [ talking over each other ] do you have any evidence . If this is an issue that interests you, than we can talk about it more in the future. Seth yeah, thats a guy whos definitely lying. [ light laughter ] hes sounds like a guilty husband who got taught caught texting with a female coworker. Honey, whos debra . Um, shes a friend, and if thats an issue that interests you, than we can talk about it more in the future. [ light laughter ] and if the white house repeating a deranged Conspiracy Theory about illegal voters, wasnt troubling enough for you, miller also made this chilling statement, about trumps controversial travel ban and his powers as president. The end result of this, though, is that our opponents, the media, and the whole world will soon see, as we begin to take further actions, that the powers of the president to substantial and will not be questioned. Seth the only way that statement could be more terrifying is if he yelled it in german. [ laughter ] by the way by the way, in case youre wondering what being sinister does to you, that guy is 31yearsold, and he already looks like hes twothirds of the way to montgomery burns. 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Never ending classics starting at 11. 99. Switch it up between never ending helpings of your most loved classic dishes. Because the best things in life should be never ending. At olive garden. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody please give it up for the 8g band, right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also sitting in with us this week, hes the drummer from the grammynominated atlantabased band, mastodon, whose highly anticipated next record, emperor of sand is set for a march 31st release. Brann dailor is back on the show. Welcome back, brann. Thank you, for having me. Seth were lucky to have you here. Thank you. Seth our first guest tonight hosts hbos emmy and Peabody Award Winning show last week tonight. Which just returned for its fourth season. Please welcome back to the show, our friend, john oliver. [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Fine. Thank you. Happy valentines day eve. Seth thank you, yeah. Happy valentines day. Certainly. Seth are you well sorted out . I know you have a wife. We both have wives. Are you ready to go . I guess my answer to that, might suggest i might not have a wife tomorrow. No, im not well sorted out. I have a card. Thats enough, right . Seth yeah. Ill take that as a no. Seth i will say this. My wife said to me once, all a wife really wants is a thoughtful card. Right. Seth and then the next holiday i got her a thoughtful card, and it was she very paronizingly said, oh, look who listened. [ light laughter ] like, she had said other more expensive things, that had gone in and out. Yeah. Seth but card, i said, done. Its funny because my wife literally said exactly the same thing, and ive also remembered that very briefly. Which is why im justifying what im gonna do tomorrow as being enough. Seth if you want to set the bar low. So be it. Thoughtful card. Seth thats their thoughtful card. Thats tangible affection in written form. Seth yeah. What gift can compete with that . I would argue none. Seth yeah. And thats pretty much the text of my card. I know what youre thinking. I could have bought you something. But i have ten points. And its not a great sign. Now it is a long precursor to this card saying, i love you. Which is what you wanted. Ive given you what you wanted. Youve brought this on yourself. Happy valentines day. Seth yeah. Say if this is bad next year. Seth i cant decide to end mine with i love you or happy now . [ laughter ] why not both . Seth yeah, thats true. Why not both . Seth last time we saw each other, we saw each other at a very interesting time. We saw each other the night after the election. We did. Seth we were performing for a Charity Event called nrdc. A great environmental rights group. Yes. Seth and lets both be honest, we agreed to do standup at this event. Sure. Seth e it would be that kind of night. No. When i agreed to go out, anywhere. Seth yeah. Months in advance of that. I wasnt thinking, bear in mind, this will be the first day of the trump presidency. Seth right . Or the president electsy. Seth yeah. Yeah. It was, you know, it was a weird evening. Comedy was not really required seth no. That night. Seth and yet there were five we, there were five of us. Five comedians basically all saying some version of the same thing, and no one with the balls to just go on and say, lets talk about those sneakers with the wheels in heels. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] it was it was like, usually when you have five comedians, you know, theres a sense of hey, what are you going to do, because i dont want to do something similar. Yeah. Seth it was no one was backstage like, im gonna say, how [ bleep ] up is this . is anybody else doing that . And i was also very concerned that, you know again its a great environmental group. Seth yeah. But there was part of me wanting to say, tigers may need to move down the pecking order for four years. The humans are endangered again. [ light laughter ] seth right, right. So seth yeah. N evolution gave tigers. Thats right, thats right. [ applause ] listen. Thats right. They can fight their way back from this. Seth yeah, absolutely. We need help. Where are the tigers marching around the zoo for us . [ bleep ] tigers. Thats what im saying. [ light laughter ] [ bleep ] you tigers. Where were you . Yeah . Seth where were you . Where were you in michigan . Seth wisconsin. Not a single tiger knocking on doors. No tigers seth for hillary in wisconsin. Yeah. Seth this is your last show so you were back last night. Yeah. Seth your last show before that, was you blew up a giant 2016 sign. I did, yeah. Seth i believe the theme of that show was basically, [ bleep ] 2016. It was. That was, yeah. That was the theme of the show and i would argue the 12 months that led up to that show. Seth yeah. Was [ bleep ] this year. [ bleep ] it hard. And we dont know it yet, but [ bleep ] tigers. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] yeah. Seth weve come to that conclusion and we found someone else to blame. But this was a practical explosion. Yeah, so it was. Seth this was not green screen. We did it in red bulls arena. And so they i went there the previous day, election day, and like this there was a lot of stunt people there. And they said, listen, theres going to be a blast radius and youre inside it. So youre gonna feel the blast move through your rib cage. And it will move your heart a bit. And so im a natural coward. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] im not im not giving you information you didnt assume. Im a cowardly human being, so i thought, well, this is this is going to be terrifying. I hope i dont flinch. Then trump got elected, and i went there, stood there and felt nothing at all. [ laughter and applause ] it was amazing. Kind of bravery, yeah. Its like, on the venn diagram, where bravery and nihilism completely collide, and you think, if this is the end, im fine with that. And in fact, i welcome it. [ light laughter ] yeah. Seth you, i often will see you when your show is on break. Yeah. Seth and for anyone who thinks that youre taking it easy, i can attest to the fact you guys work pretty much all the way through. Pretty much, yeah. Seth and because of the kind of show you do, that means you cannot disengage from the news no, thats right. Seth you have to remain fully engaged. Thats right, like a heroin addict not being able to disengage from heroin. Seth yeah. And that is often how its felt. Endorphin rushes and then, this isnt good for me though, is it. Seth and so no vacation. You this is not. Not really, no. Seth when you come back on after two months people should not think that you have been kicking back. No. Im not sure if ive ever kicked back in my life. [ light laughter ] i dont think i have the personality to kickback. I dont think has every seen me relax anywhere and go, look at that dude kicking back right now. Seth yeah. Man, i wish i had as few worries as john oliver. [ light laughter ] thats right. Kicking back big time. Seth pina colada sipping john oliver. Thats right. He looks like Jimmy Buffett over there. [ light laughter ] i tell you, who i would argue, at the moment should kickback a little less. And this might be a controversial. Im a little sick of seeing photos of president obama on vacation with richard branson. Seth yeah. I just just tone it down with the kite surfing pictures. Seth yeah. We get im glad. Im glad hes having a nice time. America is on fire. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. So i know i know that people accused him of being out of touch with the American People during his presidency. Im not sure hes ever been more out of touch than he is right now, as hes kind of pushing him on the surfboard. Its incre seth i i dont mind that hes doing it. I just cant believe he hasnt said, hey, dont take pictures. Yeah, dont take pictures, im not sure it will play well. Me going, whee whee isnt this fun . Were losing public schools. Whee youre fiddling while rome burns. Whee billionaires are fun people to be around. [ light laughter ] seth thats true. Hes really Bernie Sanders must really hate it. Ugh. Hes like, look at him hanging out with billionaires, kite surfing. That i guess that would really test the courage of Bernie Sanders convictions, if he could go to Richard Bransons island n seth yeah. [ light laughter ] just stay inside, put on, like, a giant mosquito net. [ inaudible ] this is wrong, this is wrong. Seth yeah. But its fun though, isnt it, bernie . [ light laughter ] seth we have you come to terms with the fact that the answers no, whatever is coming up. Seth yeah, i yeah. But donald trump is now the most powerful man in the world, you could argue. Yes. Yeah. Seth and yet this is sort of a natural progression for him. Sure, because hes always pretended to be that way. Seth yeah. Hes always acted like the most powerful man in the world. Thats how he carries himself. It through his im sure through childhood as well. He kind of, dons the disposition of the most powerful man in the world. Now he actually has the power to go along with that. Its like its like the secret was real, and it worked for one person. [ light laughter ] and unfortunately, it was him. Seth so we got, so oprah. This cause she promoted the secret. Thats right. Seth that shouldve been out there. Thats right. What im saying is trump is oprahs fault. [ light laughter ] if she this book. But you know what, seems like [ bleep ]. [ light laughter ] seems like theres no problems are a lot more systemic than this book really implies, and hes going, no, i can do it. I can will this into life. Seth you have a 14monthold son. Yeah. Seth i think around then. Yeah. Seth is it nice is it nice to have someone around who has no sense of this at all . Yeah, im jealous. Seth yeah, im jealous of mine too. I truly would like to [ bleep ] myself everyday with impunity and also not understand the news. Seth yeah. But seth just to [ bleep ] yourself not out of fear, must be the greatest release right now. Its really. Its the absolute dream. Just to listen to your body, and say, lets do it now. Seth yeah. Who is that on the news . He looks silly . Actually, hes less silly than he used to be. Yeah, i dont know if you this way re w thee the good time, our kids, right . Seth yeah. Because you didnt need to we didnt need to explain everything to them. Seth yeah. I do not envy parents who have to rationalize the irrational for their children. Its good having kin for right now. Seth yeah, there you go. Yeah. Seth yet, another thing children bring to your life. Stick around, were going to talk with more with john oliver. [ laughter ] and then more, and then more, and then more. [ cheers and applause ] modern life deserves a modern way to pay. On your phone and online. 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So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts today. Any of your favorite footlongs now for just six dollars. An endless cavalcade of premium subs. Any footlong on the menu for just six dollars. So, bring your appetite america, the subway footlong fest is upon us. [beeping] the 2017 rav4 with Toyota Safety sense, standard. Toyota. Lets go places. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night. Were here with john oliver. I want to get back to politics, but i want to ask about this because you have obviously been very successful in your career. Emmy award winning, peabody award, its not bad. Yeah. Seth but your father when you were young, your father wanted you to be a Soccer Player for liverpool. Of course, yeah. Seth and is it true that he still wants this for you . Yeah, of course, even though [ light laughter ] even though im now older than the entire liverpool team. Whats even true, is i still want it for myself as well. [ light laughter ] this is not what i wanted. Seth yeah. Being the distant plan but i didnt want to be here. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] and you know what must really hammer it home, none no one on liverpool wants your job either. [ light laughter ] no one on that team. Not one guy sees you and is like, oh, what i wouldnt give. I really want to be a british nerd on american tv with a small audience. [ laughter and applause ] yeah, exactly. Seth it must be a great camaraderie. No, not really. Its only isolating. Did you not want to be you must want to do it. Seth i did. But i, i what did you want to do . That . Seth baseball. Yeah, i wanted to do that. S that, you wanted to do that. Seth i wanted to do that. Thats a good one. Seth yeah. Thats much better for you for that when you cant walk. Seth i was instantly bad at that. Yeah. Seth and then it took a little longer to be bad at that. Yeah. [ light laughter ] but did you were you any good . I thought i was you know, i read this book when i was a kid about one professional player who had been really bad until he was 15, and then suddenly got good seth yeah. Over a summer. And, boy, that summer of 15 really let me down. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] but but heres the thing. My father your dad wanted it for you. My dad knew at a very young age. Oh, yeah. Seth hes he was pushing me towards comedy. He wanted it so badly. There was one time at the edinburgh festival, there was this game we played a local Scottish Team, a bunf and so, its a Scottish Team not taking it very seriously because we are a bunch of idiots, and it was us living our dreams. So, my dad was there, and i scored. And i took off my shirt and ran into the crowd to give it to him. And i handed it to him, and he had tears in his eyes. [ laughter ] it was a weird moment of, i think this is as close to your dream as i can give you. [ laughter ] i know its a long way away, but this is all were getting. [ light laughter ] lets savor this moment together. Yeah. Seth i once ran for a fly ball, near like, so i was running towards the bleachers that my dad was in. And i remember him screaming so much louder than all the parents saying, get there get there [ light laughter ] and then just really in and out of the glove, and then just so everybody else quiet and then a, son of a bitch [ laughter and applause ] thats that is like a movie. Seth yeah, it was. I was i pretty much i feel like in my sporting life, acted out every bad scene of yeah. Seth a sports movie. Baseball team, got ten pitches, only made contact with one, fouled it in the parking lot where it went off my dads car that id driven there. [ light laughter ] thats for there should be kate bush behind that. Dont give up give me one more pitch. No, hes bad. Son of a bitch. [ light laughter ] yeah. Seth its good. Have you at least, has your life now provided access to liverpool for your dad . Have you, like, brought him to games and stuff . Yeah, well, i no, i dont live in that country anymore. Seth yeah. Thats ive moved seth youve never visit . Not really. I work all the time. [ light laughter ] seth oh, thats right. You dont take vacations. Yes, exa yeah. So, no, ive not taken him to see liverpool. Seth yeah. But i worry that even if i did, it would be just too visceral of an experience, of, yeah, this is what i wanted my son to do. [ light laughter ] and now im here, i feel it even keener than before. Yeah. Seth i want to go back to trump for a second because one of the things is i feel like theres everything you could be afraid of in a trump presidency, a lot of those things have already happened. Sure. Seth like attacking judges and yeah. Seth and things like that. Yeah. Seth having phone calls with foreign leaders that go awry. Mmhmm. Seth is there something youre waiting for, like a box that will make you panic if it gets ticked . You mean, what . Like a final thing he could do that he could do that would make me think, its over . Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] probably, like, a 50foothigh portrait of himself in d. C somewhere. Seth got you. That is thats usually the canary in the coal mine for authoritarian regimes. [ light laughter ] moment someone goes, and thats a big picture of me. Is where everyone goes, oh, [ bleep ] [ laughter ] [ bleep ] [ applause ] thats right. While somewhere in the back of their heads, going, [ bleep ] tigers, man [ laughter ] they were nowhere seth nowhere we waited for the tigers. Where were you, tige seth i remember i weill never forget that night watching cnn getting, and they were getting the returns from tigers, and it was so much less. [ light laughter ] so many fewer tigers showing up. Yeah, thats right. There was exactly the same amount of tiger involvement as voter fraud, it turns out. [ applause ] seth i know. I know you have no time off. Yeah. Seth so thank you so much for your time to come here. Oh, its a pleasure. I love it here. Seth its always great to see you. I love it. Seth john oliver, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] last week tonight airs sundays on hbo. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] big mac get it big mac oh you got a fresh fade . Closed a big deal today. Chorus theres a big mac for that got that Old School Flow . You just came into some dough chorus big mac for that uh, beat the boss. Ha need that special sauce . Chorus theres a big mac for that oh found your keys. Hit some 3s, love melted cheese . Chorus theres a big mac for that woah juicy, cheesy, iconic big mac. Now in three sizes, but only for a limited time. Im lovin it ba da ba ba ba when you filter out the bad. Youre left with. The good. In life. And in water. Choose the cleaner, better tasting world of brita. Choose the filtered life. Pain from chest congestion whecan make this. D, feel like this. 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[ girl screaming ] [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] seth welcome back, well its been two weeks since super bowl 51 and tom bradys stolen jersey still hasnt been recovered. The Houston Police department, the Texas Department for public safety, and even the Texas Rangers have all been searching, but so far unsuccessfully. Sports memorabilia experts are saying the super bowl jersey is worth an estimated i got it seth what . I got it right here. Im wearing it. [ light laughter ] seth what makes you think thats bradys real super bowl jersey . Cause i [ bleep ] stole it outta his locker. [ laughter ] seth why did you do that . Cause tom bradys the greatest of all time and now i got his [ bleep ] shirt to prove it seth look, stop cursing. When did you take it . Ill [ bleep ] tell you. I stole it when they were celebrating in the shower by the way, i took a peek and congratulations, giselle. [ laughter ] let me tell you, you got more than just a Million Dollar arm. [ laughter ] meanwhile mine looks like a dogs chew toy that was left in [ laughter ] seth thats disgusting. Hey, you asked. Seth when did i ask . Look. The jersey was just layin there out in the open at the bottom of his zippedup duffle bag. I basically found it. Seth you did not find that. You went into his bag, and you stole it. I also took Julian Edelmans cleats and Rob Gronkowskis speak and spell. [ laughter ] seth what . You have to give all that back. Im gonna just as soon as tom brady meets my demands. Seth hes not gonna pay you for his own jersey i dont need money im assistant manager at cumberland farms. I got just as much as he does. [ laughter ] seth i guarantee thats not true. Well, then they got to start paying him more. [ laughter ] seth no, its you who that doesnt have as much. You know what. Forget it. What are your demands . Hes gotta play catch with me. Seth okay. Then hes gotta be best man at my wedding. Seth um, thats asking a lot. Yeah, i dont even have a girl friend. Youre not better than me, seth meyers oh my god oh my god i ruined the jersey this is worse than the time i got pepper sprayed at fenway by Dustin Pedroia seth why did you get pepper sprayed at fenway by Dustin Pedroia . Cause he was mad that i found his hat seth where did you find his hat . On his head [ light laughter ] oh, god, do you think bradys gonna be pissed . Seth yeah, hes already pissed seth, you gotta help me seth there is absolutely nothing that i can do for you. I just gotta think, you know . Oh sweet mother of Whitey Bulger [ light laughter ] theres mustard on it seth yeah, youre bad at eating hot dogs and drinking coffee. You completely ruined tom bradys super bowl jersey. Your right. His shirt sucks now. He can have it. But im keeping the lombardi trophy. Seth that is definitely not the lombardi trophy. [ light laughter ] see . This is why i steal stuff. Seth all right. Your done. Well be right back with zosia mamet everybody. I love you number 12. I love you number 12. [ cheers and applause ]. Just dont face. And i even got my own dance. The humpty dance is your chance to do the hump. Humpty dumpty the what . Turbotax agent hello mr. Dumpty, do you have a tax question . Humpty dumpty have you ever heard of the humpty dance . Turbotax agent Everybody Knows that. Humpty dumpty well, im about to sue these guys. Will i get to write off my legal fees . Turbotax agent certain legal fees are tax deductible. Come on, do the humpty hump. Do the humpty hump. Humpty dumpty it is kinda catchy. So just let me introduce myself. My name is humpty. So this year, theyre getting a whole lot more. Box 365, the calendar. Everyone knows my paperless, safe driver, and multicar discounts, but theyre about to see a whole new side of me. Heck, i can get you over 600 in savings. Chop, chop. Do i look like ive been hurt before . Because ive been hurt before. Um, actually your session is up. Hang on. I call this next one junior year abroad. Um, actually your session is up. Wecagefree eggs. Ng and we care about amazing taste. Because at hellmanns, were on the side of food. Hashtag stuffy nose. Hashtag no sleep. Hashtag mouthbreather. Just put on a breathe right strip. It instantly opens your nose up to 38 more than Cold Medicine alone. Shut your mouth and say goodnight mouthbreathers. Breathe right. Machines dont have emotions. But the rare few can inspire them. The new lc. The new ls. The new lexus. Experience amazing. Jeffin fact,ente hes been all over the world. But perhaps his most rewarding trip was the one he took one day to d. C. Just to play the lottery. He feels luckier there. After all, he won nearly 400,000 playing dc5. And you know what that means. Bon voyage, jeffrey. [cheers and applause] seth welcome back, everybody. Our next guest is one of the stars of the very Popular Series girls. The sixth and final season airs sunday nights on hbo. Lets take a look. Okay, im kind of freaking out. I mean like, the hosts are a great chill, and zeba. [ inaudible ] . They were my best friends freshman and sophomore year until i made this fatal mistake of i suddenly pushed them aside for jessa when she came home. Because, for some reason i thought that her friends were like the apex of maturity. Which is ridiculous. And i recognize that now. And now, rachel and ziba own jaba jeans. Oh, jaba jeans. I know. We cant all be perfect, okay . Everyone has their own path. We cant all be justin trudeau. Wait, you mean seth please welcome back to the show, zosia mamet, everybody. [cheers and applause] seth how are you . Im good, how are you . Seth good. I am i will admit to being a little melancholy about this being the last season of girls. Yes. Seth how are you feeling, because were just getting to watch it now, but youve finished shooting it, so. Yeah, we finished we finished a long time ago. But weve been doing a lot of press, so it sort of theyre just like really, its like its like lemon in a cut, kind of. You know, theyre like, youre done, but now you have to hang out and talk about how youre done. Seth oh, youre done, right. All the time. Seth all the time. And are you sad about it . Seth so i have basically just provided a big old lemon. I opened with a lemon tonight. You just opened with a lemon. Seth i opened with a lemon. Im covered in lemon. Seth you came out. I had a knife and a lemon. Yeah. Seth and thats how i started then lemon juice everywhere, so thanks. Seth youre very welcome. So im doing great. Seth good, good, good. Yeah. Seth now i want to talk about at the beginning of the show, you one thing is your name is, when you read it, theres a lot of different ways that people might pronounce it. I heard that lena did not nail it first time. She nailed it the first time she met me, but apparently jenny connor who brought my name up for casting, when she presented it to lena, lena was like, oh zosia mamet . I yeah. Seth really far away from zosia mamet. Very far away. Very far away. Although, oddly enough my first grade teacher also thought thats how you pronounce my name. And for like two weeks of first grade, she thought that i was a french girl who was just ashamed that i was french in america. [ laughter ] she was and every time i was like, thats not how you pronounce my name. Shes like, shh, its okay. [ light laughter ] its okay. French people are wonderful. And i was like, yeah, theyre great. Im not french. [ light laughter ] but seth and the last time you were here you were talking about the show, because the show is so open about sexuality and there are a lot of sort of awkward sex encounters on the show that people you were saying a woman once came up to you and was way too open about her sex life. Super open. Seth is that still happening . Not not as much. I more get girls coming up to me now who are like, buoyant about how they are exactly like shoshanna. They are literally bouncing. And then they meet me, and im nothing like shoshanna. And then they get really upset. Not necessarily with me personally, but like with the situation. Seth sure. Yeah, its sort of like, i dont even know. It would be like meeting a unicorn and theyre like, actually, im a lizard. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and youd just be like, oh, thats thats fine. Seth like this is all prosthetic. This is just like not real. And so then it gets really awkward, because they dont know they think that theyre going to meet like their soul sister, and then we have nothing to talk about. Seth but i think youve provided them a verypf education on the fact that, sometimes actors arent exactly who they play on television shows. Or they just go home and theyre like zosia mamet sucks. [ laughter ] seth i guess if they are a shosh they might do that. Theyre yeah. Seth yeah if they most they would just be like, shes terrible and then make a mood board about it. Seth so [ laughter ] there is a very unique way that shoshanna talks on the show. Was that sort of in the script in the beginning . Like, was that a direction you got . How did you guys find the way that you talk . Because its so unique to your character. Its very unique. Very fast. I dont actually remember if it was in the script now that im thinking back on it, but lenas firstever direction to me, we did one take of the first setup in the pilot where i open the door to jemima, and she said, okay, great, i want you to do it now, but like you drank an entire case of red bull. So thats been that seth thats it. Thats it. Thats what it seth thats exen seth yeah, thats an excellent direction for shoshanna. It was. It was. Seth did you know that could you sort of speak in that high no. Seth okay. [ laughter ] no. And i watch my i cant adr myself. Seth oh, interesting. Like i seth so you cant keep up when you rerecord sounds to match, yeah. Its like it happens once and then its just in the wind. Im like, thats it. Its gone forever. Yeah, i dont, i dont know. Sometimes i wonder if shes some weird, like maybe i have a split personality disorder. Seth oh. [ laughter ] she just like comes out when they call action. And then i cant. Then im like, how did how did i do that . Seth thats exciting though. Does she know your split splits anyway. Seth does your split personality know that its over now and shes effectively dead . [ laughter ] i dont know. Lets not tell her. Seth yeah, we shouldnt tell her. Lets maybe just like not, yeah. Seth you got to go to japan, i guess two seasons ago . Yeah, not this last summer but the summer before. Seth and how was that experience . It was pretty wild. It was crazy. It was amazing, but we basically movie, in like ten days. It was me and jesse peretz and like a very tiny skeleton crew. And then the rest was just a japanese crew. And they were all amazing, but very few of them spoke english, which was really interesting. And we were super run and gun. So we were shooting and like, people ask me what japan was like and if i have any suggestions, and im like, i got to go back to tell you. Seth you should shoot a movie in ten days. Its really fun and relaxing. Its really fun. You get to see all the sights. But we actually really did. Like we shot in all of the most amazing places in tokyo. I didnt get to experience them as a tourist. But like, we shot in takeshita street. We shot in harajuku station. We were just kind of trying to stay super low key. Because a lot of the places we didnt have permits to shoot in. Seth oh, yeah. [ light laughter ] not because like, for instance, this is this is like a very japanese issue that we would run into. To shoot in takeshita street, but it sort of depends on the cop whos on duty that day, like whether or not theyre going to be cool with it. So we we did a walk and talk. Its aidy bryant and i walking down the street. We had a boom operator and our steadycam operator, and we would do the scene and then everybody would just like run into Different Stores [ light laughter ] so that no one could catch a whiff that there was a film crew on the street. And then we would all like kind of find our way back to the top of the street and then wed shoot it again and then wed all disperse again. [ light laughter ] seth i like a cop saying there was definitely a guy with a microphone and definitely a guy with a camera, but im not sure if they were together. [ light laughter ] yeah. They were probably they were maybe just like separate, i dont know. Seth i want to ask about oh, yeah. Seth this thing that youre doing for the aclu. Explain this tee shirt that youre wearing here. Okay, so i go to this yoga studio called y7 and they do lots of cheeky takes on classic things. Like they have a pair of yoga pants that i wear that say money cash flows. So i reached out to them because platform to make this shirt with the statue of liberty sitting in lotus pose. And on the back we printed new colossus. And all of the proceeds are going to the aclu. Seth thats fantastic. Im so glad you did that. [ cheers and applause ] thanks, guys. Seth i really genuinely am so sad its over, but im so happy i got to watch it. Its such a fantastic show. Thank you. Seth give it up for zosia mamet, everybody. Final season of girls airs sunday nights on hbo. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] and were partnering with cigna to help save lives. We are the tv doctors of america. By getting you to a real doctor for an annual checkup. So go, know, and take control of your health. Doctor poses. Learn your key health numbers, and take control today. [cheers and applause] seth my thanks to john oliver, zosia mamet, brann dailor, and of course, the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ] carson hello there, welcome to last call with me, carson daly. Tonight, we are here at skylark, new york city for our show. The great, Bomba Estereo is going to perform from the el rey. I got throwing shade