No word on what they interrupted each other about. [ laughter ] jeb bush told reporters today that he does not think russia influenced the election. And if anybody knows about not influencing elections it is jeb bush. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump nominated exxon mobil Ceo Rex Tillerson as his secretary of state, calling him an excellent choice. Okay, trump needs to stop complimenting his own decisions. [ laughter ] ill have the fillet. Medium rare. Excellent choice. [ light laughter ] former Vice President dick cheney, today, praised Donald Trumps secretary of state pick Rex Tillerson, calling him an inspired choice. So, tillerson has the support of dick cheney, Vladimir Putin, and donald trump. That only leaves on person. Excellent. [ laughter ] seth its unanimous. And now its unanimous. [ applause ] former Texas Governor rick perry pick for secretary of energy. And i have to say he is the most qualified candidate from that particular season of dancing with the stars. [ laughter and applause ] hes got a lot of energy. Many of the Small Businesses surrounding trump tower in manhattan have reportedly seen a huge decrease in sales due to the heightened security. And none of hit harder than eric and donald jr. s lemonade stand. [ laughter ] theres no traffic anymore. Theres no foot traffic. I know, you need foot traffic to sell lemonade. Youre telling me eric. Youre telling me donald jr. [ light laughter ] Rudy Guiliani said today that he had too much going on to accept a cabinet appointment from donald trump. Added guiliani, these pigeons arent going to yell at themselves. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, google is reportedly ending its selfdriving car project. And the cars are not taking it well [ screeching ] [ crash ] we got a great show for you tonight everybody. [ cheers and applause ] he is one of our favorites here on late night. He has a new book called our revolution a future to believe in. Senator Bernie Sanders [ cheers and applause ] back on the show tonight. So excited. Such an important time to be talking to him. Shes the star of the new film why him . Zoey deutch is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] a fantastic young actor. And we will also have standup from the very funny dan levy, standup comedy tonight. [ cheers and applause ] youre here on a good one. But before we get to that, throughout the Campaign Donald trump claimed that only he can fight special interests on behalf of working people. But as he continues his transition he is filling his cabinet with wealthy elites and hardliners. For more on this its time for a closer look. [ applause ] seth as a candidate, donald trump cast himself as a who would take on wall street and fix a rigged system. Even going so far as to claim that he personally did not get along with rich people. My weakest supporters were very rich people. Isnt that funny . I dont get along that well with rich. I dont even like the rich people that much. Its like a weird deal. Seth isnt that funny . The people that know me best, hate me . [ laughter ] what a weird coincidence. Trump says he doesnt get along with the rich and wont cozy up to special interests. So who did he pick for secretary of state . President elect donald trump officially announcing that he is naming exxon mobil Ceo Rex Tillerson to be secretary of state. Hes a very wealthy man. Hes got over 115 million worth of exxon shares at this point. This is a man that made more than 240 million last year. Seth i guess when they drained that swamp, there was oil at the bottom [ light laughter ] now tillerson has already come under scrutiny from democrats and republicans for his ties to russia, including business deals company and his personal friendship with Vladimir Putin. Trumps former campaign manager, kellyanne conway, tried to downplay tillersons connection with russia on sunday. Its not like Vladimir Putin and Rex Tillerson are pounding down vodkas at the local bar. Theyre not intimate friends. Seth thats ridiculous. Putin doesnt pound vodka. He sips it slowly while james bond dangles from a rope above a shark tank. [ laughter and applause ] so trump nominated a wealthy ceo with ties to russian oligarchs. And tillerson is just the latest edition to a cabinet full of millionaires and billionaires that was already worth a total of 14 billion. Now another frequent line you might remember from Trumps Campaign is that he would not be beholden to wealthy donors because he would be selffunding his campaign. I dont want lobbyists. I dont want special interests. I dont want their money. I turned the money down. I turned down so much money i feel like such a stupid person. I turned down money after money. My whole life has been money. I want money. I want money. Greedy. I was greedy. Greedy. I want more money. More money. Seth trumps own imitation of himself makes him sound like a hungry grimace, but for money. [ applause ] hes a money grimace. But the connection does make sense because trump and grimace have worked together before. A big and tasty for just a dollar . How do you do it . Whats your secret . Seth hey, grimace did you hear trump is going to be our president. What do you think about that . Yeah, me too. [ light laughter ] so, trump claims he wouldnt be indebted to campaign donors. But his cabinet tells a different story. Hes already appointed six donors who gave him total of 12 million during the campaign. And yesterday he met with the former hewlettpackard ceo carly fiorina. After the meeting, fiorina spoke to the media and immediately focused on what matters most to working people all the cool stuff trump has at his office. We had a really productive meeting. It was such an honor to meet with the president elect. First have to say, he has really cool stuff in his office. All of these athletes have given him this incredible memorabilia. I was particularly taken by shock oneals shoe, which is huge. Seth first of all its shaq, not shock. [ light laughter ] second of all the shaq is short for both the shaquille and the oneal. If you say shaq, no one will follow up with which shaq . [ light laughter ] its like when i heard kanye went to trump tower today, i didnt say Kanye Berkowitz . Why was fiorina there anyway . What position is she being considered for . A transition official says that fiorina is under consideration to be the director of national intelligence. Might be skeptical of the idea that being ceo of hewlettpackard makes you qualified to be director of national intelligence. But fiorina would actually make a great spy since she is so good at disappearing. As you may remember from her appearance at a ted cruz rally this summer. The next president of the United States, ted cruz. [ laughter ] seth that is some black ops [ bleep ] right there. [ applause ] now, you might also remember from the campaign that donald trump often railed against wall street and sited one especially powerful bank in particular for its sway over politicians like ted cruz and hillary clinton. I know the guys at Goldman Sachs they have total, total, total control over him. Just like they have total control over hillary clinton. Do we all like ted cruz . He borrowed money from Goldman Sachs and now he is going to go after Goldman Sachs . It doesnt work that way. Goldman sachs owns him. Seth thats right. Goldman sachs owns c and fun fact they keep him in a terrarium. [ light laughter ] so, trump slammed his rivals for being controlled by Goldman Sachs. Well, youll never guess who he chose to fill the two most important economic jobs in his administration. Oh, you already guessed. Well, watch this anyway. President elect donald trump has chosen former Goldman Sachs banker Steve Mnunchin to be the secretary of treasury. Steve mnunchin spent 17 years at Goldman Sachs. President elect has named Goldman Sachs president and chief operating officer gary cohn as the director of National Economic council. In that role, cohn will be one of mr. Trumps top economic advisors. Seth better make room for that terrarium. [ light laughter ] and mnunchin isnt just any banker, hes the elite of the elite. For example he founded dune capital management, a hedge fund named after the dunes near his beach house in the hamptons. Drove a porsche in college and a classmate once told mnunchin, quote, you put the douche in fiduciary. [ laughter ] a pretty sweet burn that was no doubt followed by some very poorly executed high fives. [ light laughter ] but, its not just that trumps cabinet picks are rich that it makes them problematic. This is a capitalist nation and theres nothing intrinsically wrong with getting rich. Its that for many of his choices their records dont necessarily suggest that theyll be champions of working people. Mnunchin, for example, ran a bank called one west that carried out more than 36,000 foreclosures. And was known for its shoddy foreclosure practices. In one example, the company foreclosed on a 90yearold woman after a 27 cent payment error. They foreclosed a 90yearold woman over 27 cents. Whats next . Is he going to repossess tiny tims crutches. [ light laughter ] and then theres the nominee for labor secretary. The ceo of carls jr. And hardees, andy puzder. Puzder has opposed minimum wage increases and said he would like to replace his human workers with machines. And his own companies have been accused of violating the very same labor laws he will now be in charge of enforcing. So, why would trump pick him . Well, you might recall that carls jr. Is famous for its ads featuring scantily clad women seductively eating cheeseburgers. When those ads came under fire, puzder and the company defended them this way last year puzder told these website entrepreneurs this, i like our ads. I like beautiful women eating burgers in bikinis. I think its very american. Five years ago carls jr. Put out a press release. Heres what they said in it. We believe in putting hot models in our commercials because ugly ones do not sell burgers. Seth trump heard that and thought, this is a man i can trust. [ light laughter ] and these are just a few of trumps hard line picks. He also appointed an epa chief who doesnt accept the scientific consensuses on climate change. And has reportedly chosen Texas Governor rick perry for Energy Secretary. Now, the Energy Secretary is, among other things, responsible for safe guarding the Nations Nuclear weapons. So you need to know what your doing. Our current Energy Secretary, ernest moniz, is a worldrenowned nuclear physicist. But in rick perrys defense, he wears glasses. And that means hes smart. Right donald trump . I see rick perry e he put glasses on so people will think hes smart. And it just wasnt work. You know, people can see through the glasses. [ laughter ] seth how are you feeling about all of this grimace . Yeah, me too. This has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with our friend, senator Bernie Sanders, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] this one is from Channel Islands national park. Coronado. Saguaro. Youll see theres one thats an eagle. My number one goal is getting more funds out to parks because some animals and plants are only found in one place in the world, and thats in some national parks. I find thats a great cause, and i want to support it. avo the subaru share the love event has donated get a new subaru, and well donate two hundred and fifty dollars more. Put a little love in your heart. No. They come from thes come stomach. Heart. Give the gift of quality time with an applebees gift card. 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[ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, back with us tonight, we have the twotime grammy awardwinning drumming legend sitting in with our band. Hes a cofounder of metal icon slayer, as well as dead cross, featuring the vocal talents of mike patton. Dave lombardo is here everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Seth thank you so much for being here, dave. Our first guest tonight is a u. S. Senator from vermont who won 22 states in the democratic primary. His new book, our revolution a future to believe in, is in stores now. Please welcome back to the show, our friend, senator Bernie Sanders, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . I am great. [ cheers and applause ] seth its always always so nice to have you here. I feel like weve had you about four times in a little under two years and every time you come, the world is completely different than the last time you were here. And now were in the situation where a lot of people within the Democratic Party are looking for leadership, theyre looking for new ideas, after this election. And a lot of people are turning to you. Which must be strange, because you were not even in the Democratic Party for a very long time. So you it must be strange for you to all of a sudden be the head of something that you were an outsider for a very long time. To say the least. Seth yeah. Yes, it is. But i think the reason for that has a lot to do with the fact that we generated a whole lot of excitement in our campaign from working people, from young people who really want to bring about profound change in this coun and they are prepared to work for that. And i think the democratic leadership understands that we need to bring those people into the party. We need to transform the party. We need to make the Democratic Party a Democratic Party with a small d. So all of you, come on in. We need your help. [ cheers and applause ] seth there you go. Everybody in. You the last time you were here, we were talking about the Democratic Party sort of building this progressive message and this progressive message moving forward. And in the book now, you talk about another difficult thing, its not just the progressive message, but just dealing with reality. All of a sudden now reality, which has been a thing that was assumed that we all agreed on, has shifted. How hard is it right now to just get people to accept the truth. That are real and things that are facts. Well, you know, we have a president elect who is not wellknown for being scrupulously honest. Lets say that. [ light laughter ] seth thats a very nice way of saying it. Thats a nice way to say that. And ill give you some examples. And were going to hold him accountable on these issues. He campaigned among working people and he said, im the only republican out there. Im not going to cut social security. Im not going to cut medicare. And im not going to cut medicaid. Well, you know, mr. Trump, were going to hold you accountable for those statements. [ applause ] and this at a time when Prescription Drug costs are soaring, people cant afford the medicine they need. Some people are dying, because medicine is so expensive. He said, im going to take on the drug companies. Well, mr. Trump, were going to work with you, if you keep your word. But the point is you cant make statements in a campaign and then the day after the election, forget about them completely. As you mentioned earlier in the shyo people. We are antiestablishment. Well if the cabinet that he appointed of billionaires and millionaires is antiestablishment, boy i would hate to see what the establishment looks like. Seth yeah, exactly. [ applause ] you know, we were there were so many trump voters and we were talking about this backstage. Trump voters who voted for obama twice. Yes. Seth and then voted for donald trump. So these people are not racists. No. Seth they dont have a racist bone in their body. How did the Democratic Party lose those people. And what can they do to get them back . Seth, this is maybe the most important point that i want to make. And we dont see it much on tv or in the media. There are a lot of people in this country who are hurting, who are in a lot of pain tonight. There are people who are 55 years of age who have zero amount of dollars in the bank as they await retirement. Half of the elderly workers in this country have nothing in the bank. Graduate college 50,000 in debt and are making 14,000 a year. There are 28 Million People who have no health insurance. There are others who are seeing their healthcare cost soar, their Prescription Drugs soar. There are people who are working at decent jobs in the factory and you know what happened . That factory moved to china and now theyre working at a walmart for 10 bucks an hour and they cant make it. And not only that, these are the people who are worried to death about their kids. Are their kids going to be able to have a home of their own . Can they get married and have the money to have kids . And trump tapped that. He trapped that. He said, i hear you and im going to do something about it. Well, between you and me, i dont think he was honest. Maybe im wrong. I dont think he was sincere. But he tapped that pain that people were feeling. And what we have got to do is to stand up for those people. And what we have to do, is get to the causes of those economic problems, which in my view, has a lot to do with the greed of wall street and corporate america, whose greed is destroying the middle class of [ applause ] seth i agree with you there. The president obama has made it very clear that hes hoping for a successful presidency for president elect trump. I am certainly hoping he is a successful president as well. What is how do you envision a successful donald Trump Presidency in a way that makes someone like you happy . Well, if he can create in this country, or help create, decent paying jobs. The truth is, in rural america, in inner cities in this country, unemployment is very, very high and wages are much too low. All right, trump said that he wants to get rid of the Affordable Care act and by the way, throw 20 or 30 Million People off of health insurance, because we dont have to worry about that. He has a great plan to provide health care for all people. Well, mr. Trump, if you are prepared to support Something Like a medicareforall single r care to every man, woman and child. Yeah, we will work with you. Thats a sign of success. Mr. Trump has talked about the high cost of college. Well, mr. Trump, if you want to make public colleges and universities tuitionfree, that would mean the world to million of families in this country whose kids desperately need a good higher education, but cant afford to get it. So there are areas infrastructure, trade. There are areas that if he is successful will improve this country. But, let me tell you where were not going to work with him. We will not give one inch on bigotry. This country has travelled too far to try to overcome racism and sexism and xenophobia and compromise one inch on bigotry. [ cheers and applause ] seth so, i wanna were going to go to commercial, were going to come back and talk more. But is it safe to say that if donald trump backslides on all of promises to the working people, youre going to be the biggest headache in washington d. C. . Yes. Seth okay, good. All right, well be right back with more from senator Bernie Sanders. [ cheers and applause ] totaled your brand new car. 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One of the great things about this book is you talk about the first time you did a radio interview, and you were not the cool customer that we see here before us today. Yes. I was on a radio show in outside of burlington, vermont. And my knees were shaking so badly, it kept bumping into the table. And the guy that was producing was stop, stop, stop. [ light laughter ] so my first appearance on vermont radio was people i dont know if they heard what i said. They heard this [ knocking ] [ light laughter ] so that was my introduction to vermont politics. Seth they kept calling in and saying, let that senator out of whatever box you have him in. [ light laughter ] wasnt a senator then. Seth oh, thats right. Yeah, right. Once they heard you banging the desk, they said, we gotta give this guy a job. Hes a mess. [ light laughter ] you do have a lot of photos in here of your time on talk shows. And, you know, youve been on this show four times. Colbert. Theres a photo of colbert, theres a photo of fallon. Got a little jimmy kimmel in here. I did not make the book. [ audience aws ] senator sanders i did not make the book. An oversight. An oversight. Seth okay. [ laughter ] you probably and i apologize. Seth its probably not your last book, right . Thats right. Youll be on the prominently displayed. [ light laughter ] as a matter of fact well put your picture. Seth okay, great. [ light laughter ] thank you, ill be in the background. So, i think one of the things that any party is facing after a loss in an election likes, is how do you keep the young people . And you mentioned your campaign drew so attention and so much passion from young people. How do you keep young people inspired for the next four years. Well, look, it is young people, but its not just young people. What i think we have to appreciate is trump transformed politics in america. Thats what he did. Our job is to retransform politics, is to respond accordingly. Which means we have got to be active in the political process in a way that we have never been before in our lives. We have got to rethink what democracy means. And if we remember that the fight for civil rights was a huge fight which involved millions and millions of people, we get hope. When we talk about womens rights you know, a hundred years ago, seth, you well know. Women werent running for president. They didnt have the right to vote. But women organized with their male allies, stood up. Gay rights, people organized and stood up. Here is the truth. Trump can propose anything he wants, but he will not succeed if millions of people stand up and fight back, and tell him that is not what america is. [ cheers and applause ] seth when you were last here, you said that if the Democratic Party lost this election which they did they would have to go back to the drawing board. Do you find that that is happening right now . Thats exactly what were doing. Seth okay, good. All right, tomorrow night tomorrow night were gonna be doing a live stream. I hope people follow it. I am strongly supporting a congressman from minnesota, Keith Ellison to become the new chair of the Democratic Party. [ applause ] and what keith wants to do is to transform the party to make it a Grass Roots Party and not a party just dependent on wealthy people. Which is too much the case right so the goal is to open the doors of the Democratic Party to young people who are concerned about the environment, and climate change. People who are concerned about womens rights. People who are concerned about economic and social justice. The truth of the matter is, and i want everybody to appreciate this, on every major issue facing the country whether it is raising the minimum wage, whether it is pay equity, whether it is health care for all, whether it is taking on a broken criminal justice system, the majority of the American People support a progressive agenda. Our job is to get those people involved, and to fight to transform this country. Seth now, i want to ask, because this always happens as soon as these things are over. People Start Talking about 2020. They Start Talking about the next election. That is not for you; is that correct . Youre not happy about people focusing that far into the future. Because, what were talking thats what the media loves. Because we can focus on, are you going to run for president in 2086 . Lets talk about that. Well do a poll. Rather than say what are the real problems . Why is the middle class disappearing . Why do we have so much income and wealth inequality . What are we gonna do about it . Why are we the only major country on earth not to guarantee health care to all people . Or paid family and medical leave . Lets talk about those issues. Lets involve people in the process and leadership will naturally come from that type of discussion. Seth now, i just want to finish with this. Are you do you still generate, from within yourself, hope and optimism . Is that still alive in senator Bernie Sanders right now . It really is. If theres anything, maybe the most moving part of my campaign for president , was just meeting literally, well over a Million People facetoface in large rallies, small town meetings, and seeing the beauty of this country. And thats just not rhetoric, seth. Therere incredible, Beautiful People out there. Young people, old people, working people, who love this country. And more than a few put their lives on the line to defend this country. And they want to make this country the country that we all know it can become. So, i saw an enormous amount of beauty and hope in this country, wh seth well, its always such a pleasure to have you here. Its an open invitation. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. Senator Bernie Sanders, everybody. Our revolution is in stores now. Well be right back with zoey deutch. [ cheers and applause ] i just see a black screen. What are you looking at . Crazy stuff, man. Youve gotta see this. Whatwhat is this . Its like some 3d virtual world. Can i see . Oh yai yai yai yai yai yai. Look at the moon. Whoot. laughs here it is. Hey dad wishes do come true. The lincoln wish list sales event is on. Get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. The final days of the lincoln wish list sales event are here. Get a new 2016 lincoln mkx with zero down and a complementary first months payment. We catch flo, the progressive girl, at the supermarket buying cheese. Scandal alert flo likes dairy . woman busted [ laughter ] right afterwards we caught her riding shotgun with a mystery man. Oh, yeah [ indistinct shouting ] is this your chauffeur . What . no, i was just showing him how easy it is to save with snapshot from progressive. You just plug it in and it gives you a rate based on your driving. Does she have insurance for being boring . [ light laughter ] laugh bigger. [ laughter ] y25eny y17vy [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our next guest is the talented actress that stars in the new film, why him . , which hits theaters december 23rd. Lets take a look. Why laird . Oh my god. I mean, come on. Dad. You are so smart and youre beautiful. And you could be dating anyone. Why . I dont get it. Do you want the truth . Yes. He kind of reminds me of you. What . Hes a very good guy. And i love him. You love him . Seth please welcome to the show zoey deutch, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Im good. I cant believe im he seth oh, thank you. Im a big fan of yours, as well. I just wanted to get that out of the way so i dont have to pretend like im not about to pee my pants. Seth okay, good. Its a pant suit. Seth and i was eventually going to check in at some point during the interview someone told you about that problem . Seth and say, are you a big fan . Are you a big fan of mine . This is very exciting, because youre in this film with a couple of other people that im huge fans of three actually. Because james franco, Bryan Cranston, Megan Mullaly, a fantastic cast. Yeah, theyre amazing. Seth and Bryan Cranston and Megan Mullaly play your parents. Franco plays your boyfriend. And as we can suss out from that clip, cranston not a fan. Not the ideal situation, no. Seth gotcha. And general, james franco, did you know him before you worked on this . No, i didnt. You know, i wanted to try to get some time to spend with him before we started shooting but his schedule is like, so insane. Seth he does everything. He does everything. Seth hes like, an actor, a director, a poet. Hes everywhere. Seth he does my plumbing. Really . [ laughter ] seth at my apartment when anything goes wrong, im like, its the sink again, james. And hes like, ill leave set. Yeah, the only time we could find to spend together was on his set of hes directing a movie called the masterpiece. Seth yep. And i was an extra in that film. [ scattered cheers ] yeah. Seth nice. See, theres a lot of pretty exciting. Seth people think extras dont get enough woos. But they do. No, they do. That was encouraging. When i went to the Venice Film Festival recently, they introduced me to a panel of people as zoey deutch, the star of the masterpiece directed by james franco. I was like, im actually i dont have a line in that. Dont even i dont know anything about the movie. We could talk about why him . We could talk about everybody wants some. Before i no . You want to talk about the masterpiece. Seth they want to talk about your extra work. Well, you were wonderful. I even read the script seth we saw you in the back with no lines and we said what is she thinking . [ light laughter ] we want to know so much more about her. Weve talked about jamess many skills. He also, i did not know that he is an accomplished painter. You didnt . Seth and he made these are sort of cast gifts at the end of the film. Wrap gifts, yeah. Seth wrap gifts. The only thing he asked us was whats your favorite color . And we didnt think much of it. But now you can see right here. Seth this is so, what color did you give him . Blue. Seth okay, you gave him blue. Yeah. Seth and so, they you got you got this. You a giant weed leave [ laughter ] on blue. Yeah. Seth i feel that doesnt do scale justice. This is a giant painting. [ laughter ] yeah. I wanted to keep that one by my bed for a few months just to see how it worked in the space. Seth yeah, it is the weird thing is i feel like its something you have to tell people is a gift. Because as an art collector, its a very strange choice. Its a very strange choice. It was a i called my dad, i was like, dad, can you help me hang a painting . He walks in and hes like, oh okay. Were gonna put this one in your apartment. Seth thats a good way to tell your dad, i smoke weed a lot. [ light laughter ] not just an eight by ten amount of weed. I smoke a giant wall amount of weed. So obviously, Bryan Cranston plays your dad in the film. Hes the greatest guy in the seth i speak to what a great guy he is, because this shows a level of comfort you reached as his movie daughter. Zoey, is that you shaving your armpits in front of Bryan Cranston . [ light laughter ] seth, that is seth is that what that is . Seth, that is exactly whats happening. I am shaving my armpits in front of Bryan CranstonAcademy Awardnominated actor, Bryan Cranston. I wear large, very cute, wool sweaters throughout the entire movie. And no one warned me the day that i was put in a tank top. So this deathly switcharoo happened. And i hadnt shaved my armpits since, like, 1977. Seth oh no, thats not good. [ light laughter ] not a great situation. So, you know. And what you cant see is he is sitting only chair he could find was a prop toilet. Seth oh, wow. Yeah, i was like get walter white a god damned chair. [ light laughter ] also, i like that he is just casually reading his script. This is not even i dont even know if he knows that this happened. Seth this is the absence of movie magic. Yes. Seth this is like you go, whats a movie set like . Youre like, you shave in front of a man on a fake toilet. [ light laughter ] so glamorous i cant even tell you. Seth im glad you brought up glamorous, because before you were an actress, you had a passion. Is it safe to say this is a passion, zoey . Acting was a fall back. Seth a fall back. And your original career, im guessing, is this jazz dance . Is this its close, its competitive jazz dancing. Seth how close . I just [ light laughter ] thats exactly what i said. [ laughter ] its a lot more serious. I dont want to belittle the experience. Seth because i kind of tossed it off. Yeah, you were like jazz dance. Seth competitive. And how so when you do competitive jazz dance, what are the scores you get. Ask me anything. Feel free to ask me anything. Seth no, thats how the show works. [ laughter ] how do they score you . When you finish your jazz dance, your competitive jazz dance, what do they do they grade you on a one to ten . How does it work . Not sure. It was different depending on the venue. Six flags was always my favorite place. Seth okay, by the way, stop being so serious about it. [ light laughter ] if it was at six flags. I m m a foursecond solo to turn the beat around, the Gloria Estefan version, of course. Seth here are you by the way, heres what were talking about, right there. [ light laughter ] by the way, if people cant tell [ applause ] when i first saw this, i thought you were leaping through the air. But then i saw that shadow and im like, oh, no, youre just on a mat. My mom recently reminded me because i have, like, delusions of grandeur. I think i was like this great dancer. And i was a terrible dancer. Seth you had a four second solo to turn the beat around i never learned a single move i never learned a single move. And i was like, but i can to the splits. And mom is like, but you dont move in the splits. Youre just, theyre completely still. Like, i never learned but i gave it my all. Seth you were doing mannequin challenge years before everybody else. And, like, planking as well. Seth so is that when you have a foursecond solo, does that mean, are there other people on your competitive Jazz Dance Team . And then, your moment comes . Yes, there was one other girl, who i thought i was equal to. Matilda. Matilda went to juilliard for dance. Seth really . Yeah. Seth so, history may show she was the stronger dancer. Yes. I still have performance anxiety dreams about how genuinely bad seth i think your coach is probably looking back, saying i gave the turn the beat around solo to the wrong dancer. [ light laughter ] thank you so much for being here. Congratulations on finding acting. [ cheers and applause ] not that, you didnt have a future here. Zoey deutch, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] why him . Opens december 23rd. Well be right back with standup from dan levy. [ cheers and applause ] no. They come from thes come stomach. Heart. Give the gift of quality time with an applebees gift card. And receive a 10 bonus card for yourself. Only at applebees. Customer service d. Maam. This isnt a computer. Wait. Youre real . With discover card, you can talk to a real person in the u. S. , like me, anytime. Wow. This is a recording. Really . No, im kidding. 100 u. S. Based customer service. Here to help, not to sell. Jack knocked over a candlestick, onto the shag carpeting. And his pants ignited into flames, causing him to stop, drop and roll. Luckily jack recently had geico help him with renters insurance. Because all his belongings went up in flames. Jack got full replacement and now has new pants he ordered from banana republic. 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[ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is a very funny comedian whose onehour comedy special, dan levy lion, is currently streaming on seeso. Please welcome my friend dan levy. [ cheers and applause ] all right. So, im a parent. So, every morning at 6 00 a. M. , i wake up and watch the movie frozen. [ light laughter ] look at my face. Every morning at 6 00 a. M, i wake up and watch the movie frozen. Then i wake up my kids and we watch it again. [ laughter ] i have a 3yearold son who is awesome and a 1yearold daughter, who ive heard good things about, which is cool. [ light laughter ] and they have destroyed my house. My living room looks like someone burglarized the double dare set. [ light laughter ] but like super short burglars, because everything on the shelves is fine. Everything below, katrinalevel nightmare. [ light laughter ] just disaster. And im so tired i mean, im happy to be here, but im so tired. I drink coffee like a homicide detective. [ light laughter ] and i live my life like a homicide detective. I pass out in clothes i wore all day. Bodily fluids dont phase me at all. [ laughter ] and i take showers like i need forgiveness. Every night im like, please, god, help me through another day. [ light laughter ] i have a wife. She is a lady. I say that because i know i have the vibe of a lesbian, in rabbinical school. But im not. Im not rachel maddow, its been a very confusing day. [ laughter ] my wifes awesome. We compliment each other perfectly, you know. She loves fixing things and owns a hammer. And i love gossiping and own 100 pairs of sneakers. [ light laughter ] because at her core, she is a husband from the 50s. And at my core, im a 15yearold korean girl. [ laughter ] and that might not be sexy to you, but she wont leave me because she was adopted, you know . [ audience ohs ] she appreciates love. E [ light laughter ] and when she first told me she was adopted, i was like, oh my god, who would just give away this beautiful little girl . You know . But now that weve been married for six years, im like, i kind of see what they were talking about, you know . [ laughter and applause ] but we have to work together, because kids are insane. Honestly, they have tantrums, they freak out. Kids are so difficult, i have a new respect for kidnappers. Honestly, i do. I really do. [ laughter ] now every time i get an amber alert im like, impressive. [ laughter ] how did they get them in the car seat so fast . [ light laughter ] i cant get my kids from the playground to the parking lot without ten people being like, everything cool here . Everything cool here . This is your kid, right . This is your kid . And im like, tell them you know me. Ill buy you a ring pop. [ light laughter ] i was nervous having kids. Oh, my god. I remember i asked my sons pediatrician before he was born, i was like, hey, when will i know if my kid is going to be weird . When will i know . And they looked me up and down and said, oh, hes definitely going to be weird. [ laughter ] and hes right, my son is so weird. Hes so weird. When he first started talking, he had a southern accent. [ light laughter ] and i live in california. And one day i was leaving the house and he goes, bye, daddy. [ laughter ] who is this deputy . Hes never wearing a shirt, you know, hes got this twang. So its like i have a toddler Matthew Mcconaughey just waddling around my house destroying everything. All right, all right, all right. All right, all right, all right, daddy. Oh my, thats what he says. Oh my. He says that constantly. He says oh my like hes a southern elderly lady whose daughter brought home a black man for the first time. [ laughter ] oh, my. And he discovered his penis, which is normal. You gotta do that, you know. But then i got out of the shower and he discovered mine and tried to grab it. And i was like, nope. [ light laughter ] and my wife got super emotional and started crying, cause shes always crying. Because, in my opinion, her birth parents were onions. So shes, like, really started freaking out. And she was like, you have to let him grab your penis, we cant let him have a complex. Im like, what . [ laughter ] isnt a much worse complex teaching him its okay to just grab a penis any time he sees one. [ laughter ] just walking down the street, my penis, my penis, my penis, oh my. [ laughter and applause ] we cannot teach our son its okay just to grab someones genitals whenever you want. Unless were trying to raise the president of the United States of america. [ laughter and applause ] thank you so much. Im dan levy. [ cheers and applause ] seth d l well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to senator Bernie Sanders, zoey deutch, dan levy right here. Dave lambardo over there with the band. And of course, the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] carson whats happening everybody . Im carson daly this is the krock studios here tonight. Itll be our backdrop for last call