Well, ill be dogged. Howdy, bert. Hi, andy. Bert, i aint seen ya in a while. How ya been . Yeah . Well, i dont know. Im middlin, middlin. Middlin . Yeah, my feet been troublin me a lot lately and i got the bursitis in my shoulder but im middlin, middlin. Thats a good way to be, middlin. You know, andy. Hi, bert. Hiya, barney. How are ya . Middlin. Hes middlin, hes middlin. What are ya sellin these days, bert, anything . Oh, this and that. Like what . Oh, first one thing, then the other. Well, whats in the suitcase . Different things. For petes sake, bert, open it up. We might buy somethin off of ya. Oh, you probably dont need nothin no way and i dont wanna appear pushy. Nownow, whats in the suitcase . Show us. Well, all right, you want me to show ya . Ah see, thats what i mean about that bursitis in my shoulder. I been tellin andy, from liftin this suitcase i got bursitis in my shoulder. My feet been troublin me a lot lately, too. Tell him bout the doorbells. Ringin those doorbells drove me crazy. Just like i told you fellas a little bit of this and a little bit of that and the next thing and thats about the whole kit and caboodle. You got any razor blades . Razor blades . Yeah. Why . Well, id like to buy some. You sure . Dont buy em lessin you need em. Im sure, im sure. Well, now, look, andy. If ya want a shave, ill lend ya my razor. No, bert. Dont look like you need a shave. Bert, id like to get some blades. Well, all right, all right. I just dont wanna push myself on ya. Ya got any socks, bert . Socks . Size ten and a half. Yeah, but im gonna give ya a size 11. Just as cheap and they wear a little bit longer. Could be youre still growin. all laughing thats good, bert. Heard that from a fella in raleigh. Still growin. Well, hello there, bert. Oh, uh, hi, aunt bee. You havent been by our house lately. I was tellin the fellas i have trouble with my feet. Tell her about your bursitis. In the shoulder. And the doorbells bother him, too. The doorbells drive me crazy. What have you got in your suitcase . Ee. And different things. And a whole lotta this and that. Oh, i dont know. Aunt beed like one thing and another. Hard to tell either that or different things. Yeah. What are you talking about . Its either socks, razor blades or first one thing and then another. We aint got time to stand around while you make up your mind. I want an apron. You want an apron, you get an apron. Wheres the aprons . Under the spoons. Under the spoons. Theres your apron and heres a pair of socks. Some real long garters. Oh, stop it. How much for the apron, bert . 87 cents. Oh, well, you pay for it, andy. You see to it that you come by our house. Bye, boys. Bye, aunt bee. 87 cents. Watch the hat. Dont squash the hat, no. With the bursitis and the sore feet we dont wanna give him a head cold. Is that all the high sheriff got to do, just sit . Why, howdy, ben. You ought to be tendin to your job. Huh . Come on over here. They dont allow peddlin on the streets of mayberry. Why dont you stop him . Bert . Well, he aint really peddlin. Well, it sure looks like it to me. What if he is, ben . Now, look. Im a legitimate taxpayin merchant and i say get him off the street. Oh, hell be movin along pretty soon. Anything else . No, theres nothing more. Ing on the street. If you want to keep on bein sheriff get him off the street. Well, of all the gall. Whyd you let him talk to you like that, andy . Boy, i sure wouldnt. You wouldnt . No. You know what id have said if hed have jumped on me like that . What . Id have said who died and left you the boss . Why dont you go set in a Grocery Store so we can all know youre the big cheese . Know youre the big cheese . Yeah. Thats good. Yeah, big cheese. Hey, uh. Hey, barn . Huh . We aint got much to do right here in the middle of the week, have we . No. Wanna have some fun . How . Lets pick at ol ben a little bit. He says he dont want bert sellin on the street. Lets move that bench in the vacant lot and put berts suitcase on it and set him up a temporary store. Lets do that. Come on, come on, come on. Hey, uh, hey, bert . Say your feet been botherin ya . My feet been givin me a rough time. Your shoulders hurtin . Bursitis. The doorbells bother ya . You know, i cant stand them doorbells. Well, i believe we got a cure for that. Huh . Why not move your suitcase over to crowleys vacant lot and set up a temporary store . Oh, no, no, i couldnt do that. Well, why not . Well, folks might get the idea is bein pushy. Why would they . Youd be settin and sellin ells. Dont that sound good . Yeah, it does. Well, do it, then. Well, now, are you sure that they wont spect i was bein pushy . Im sure. cause i hate a pushy salesman. I know. Come on, lets move it. . You get a line and ill get a pole, my honey . . You get a line and ill get a pole, my babe . . You get a line and ill get a pole . . Well go down to the crawdad hole . . Honey, baby, mine . . What you gonna do when the well runs dry, my honey . . . What you gonna do when the well runs dry, my babe . . . What you gonna do when the well runs dry . . . Set on the bank and cry, cry, cry . . Honey, baby, mine. . Yeah, yeah . Here comes ben. We got to him. Oh, good, good. Hey, lets be singin. Sunshine. . Spread a little sunshine every day . . Spread a little sunshine every day . . Help someone. . Sheriff, i want. Wait, wait, wait. . Spread a little sunshine every day. . Aint that purty . I didnt come here for a concert. I come here with a complaint, sheriff. Well, what would that be, ben . Oh, you know what it is. I told you i didnt want that drummer peddlin the street. Oh, bert . Oh, bert aint on the street. Hes on crowleys vacant lot. Id say thats a good seven, eight feet off the street, wouldnt you, barn . Oh, you know what im talkin about and besides, the law says that a Business Establishment is not a business now, what bert millers doin is against the law. Hes peddlin in the street. Now, you do somethin about it. Ben, youre gettin yourself all worked up over nothin. Now, just listen to this song like they say music hath charms to soothe the savage beast. . Help someone along lifes way . . Spread a little sunshine every day. . Aint that purty . Ahh about gettin bert off the street . No, about a roof. A Business Establishment aint a business unless its got a roof. You got an idea . Yeah, and itll make ben so happy. Sheriff. Oh, howdy, ben. Well, whats the matter . You look like youre about to have a spell. You think youre pretty smart, dont ya . You know doggone well what im talkin about bert miller sellin on the street. Hes still at it. Ben, you said a business aint a business unless its got a roof on it. Well, hes got one. Andy id say thats a roof wouldnt you, barney . Well, yeah, id say it is. I didnt ask you. Now, ben, if thats a roof the mans got a legitimate business. Ill see ya. Yeah, bu. Just a minute, sher. Ohoh, howdy, ben. You lookin for us . By roof, i mean a proper structure. A bench and an umbrella is not a proper structure. Id say a bench and a umbrellas a proper structure, wouldnt you, barn . Certainly looks. I am talking to the sheriff. Now, look here, sheriff ive been running a store in this town for goin on 25 years and i aint about to let any flybynight peddler take the play away from that store. You understand . Now, ben, you dont honestly believe that bert millers any competition to you. All he sells. Im talkin to the sheriff. Say, you seem to be mighty interested in tryin to help this fella out. Why . Because of a sayin you might have heard live and let live. Hes tryin to make a honest livin and he aint takin nary a bit of business from you and you know it. Thats certainly the way i fe. You stay out of this. Just the same, im tellin you for the last time you get that man off the street, you hear . Im givin you a warning. Because i can get it done. You know it. door shutting and both laughing really wanna get ben goin . Yeah. How . Bert needs a structure. Lets build him one. I know where we can get lumber. Ill call raleigh and get some merchandise sent on consignment. Oh, well build bert one outstandin sellin place. Well build him a sellin place that looks like a sellin place. You like that . Yeah. Am i gettin too pushy . Oh, no. If theres one thing i cant stand, its a pushy sheriff. That oughta make ben happy. He said he needed a proper structure. Berts got a proper structure. Oh, hi there, miss palmer. Hows doug . Oh, hes fine. How much . Well, miss palmer id sell it to you if you need it. Of course i need it. Well, i dont wanna force nothin on you. If you think you really need it. I need it. Yeah, and really like it. I like it. I love it, bert. If you get it home and start hatin it you bring it back, you hear . I will. You do that. Dont care for it much myself. Ill get you a fancy box. Well, howdy, bert. Howdy, miss mason. Hi, andy. Good morning, sheriff, barney. Hows it going . Everythings going fine, andy. Thanks to you. Dont you mention it. What is this . What is this . Whawhawhat is this . Ben, what are you complaining about now . You said the man needed a roof. You said he needed a proper structure. Hes got one. What else, ben . All right. I gave you the proper reasons and i tried to be nice about it. Oh, youve been nice. Hasnt he been nice, barney . Oh, hes been a real sweetheart. He sure has. Would you say he was nicer about the stand than the umbrella or was he nicer about the umbrella than the stand . Oh, i dont know. Id say he was nicer about the stand. cause its bigger. Ben, you know youre smart. Youre smart to make people believe that youre a skinflint and a mean old tight wad how sweet and kind you really are theyd take advantage of you. Youll be sorry. Hi, pa. Oh, hi, ope. You sure are up kinda late. How come . mumbling ive been over at weavers shopping. What at where . At weavers. Well, i got two questions what did you use for money . Didnt need any money. Hes giving stuff away. That takes care of my first question, too. Weavers giving stuff away . It aint just stuff, pa. Its valuable. Ill show you. See . Balloons. And gum. Every kid in towns over there. Weavers sure doing a lot of business. With the younguns . Hmmmm. With their folks. Folks . Hes giving stuff to their folks . Not exactly, but i heard them say mr. Weavers selling things cheap. Sellin things cheap, huh . Did you notice if anybody was over at bert millers stand . mumbling never mind. Howdy, bert. Oh, hi, andy. Things are a little quiet today. Yeah, i expect so. Yeah, well, folks bought a lot of stuff yesterday. Oughta last em for a good, long while. Thats why i figured its kinda slow today. Dont you reckon . S youre being squeezed out of business. Whawhat, andy . Ben weavers sellin stuff a whole lot cheaper over at his store than you can so folks are buyin from him. Oh. Uh. Bert, uh. You see, uh. Thisthis. This whole thing started as a joke. I was tryin to irritate ben a little bit, and. Well, i. I guess it got out of hand. Im sorry about that. Oh, gee, thats all right, andy. Dont matter at all. See, i never expected to stay in this spot too long nohow just long enough to kinda rest my feet for a while. And, you know, get away from them ringin doorbells for a while. Well, we, uh. We did get one thing done, though. We got old ben weaver to sell things a little bit cheaper. laughing we. We did that. Well, ill, uh. Pilot and he owes me a favor. Ill, uh, ill, uh. Ill get him to loan me one of his trucks and well get this stuff back to raleigh. Oh. Yeah, uh, andy. Thatsthatsthats a good idea. Get the truck and ill get this stuff all packed up here, huh . Yeah. Rd. What did it hurt him havin bert run his little old stand . Well, weve been all through that. Uhoh. Looks like were gonna have company. Here comes ben. Probably wants to crow a little. Whats this stevens truck doing here . Well, ben, if you have to know. To open a store in mayberry. Whats going on, andy . Well. Did stevens make a deal with bert . It aint fair, andy. It just aint fair. What . I didnt think youd go this far, andy. Ive been in business here in mayberry for 25 years. Now youre letting an outsider in. No, mr. Weaver. Ben, we didnt know you was that interested. Come on, barney, we got a lot of work to do. Lets get this shipment unloaded. Andy, we just. Lets get the shipment unloaded. Oh, yeah. Yeah, lets get it unloaded. Now, look here. Are you just gonna stand by and let stevens get a toehold on mayberry . Wait a minute. Wheres your loyalty to the citizens of your own hometown . Well, ben, you shoulda said something. I didnt know you wanted to build another store here. I dont wanna start another store here. I just dont want stevens in. You can do something about that. What happens to bert . Well, if stevens can set him up i reckon i can to. He can go to work in my store. Well, ill have to ask him. Bert, howd you like to go to work for ben weaver . Huh . No more walkin, no carryin a suitcase no ringin doorbells just a nice job in a store. You said you liked it. Yeah, well, it sounds fine and all. Yeah, id be glad to if you think he needs me. I mean, if he really needs me. Oh. Just a minute. Uh. He, uh. He said that, uh, he might go to work for you but he is wonderin somethin. He is wonderin who needed him more stevens or, uh. Oh, for. Ill pay him as much as stevensd give him and more than that. He needs you, bert. He needs you. Oh, thats fine. I can start anytime as soon as i get this merchandise returned and clean up around here a little. Uh, wait. Wait. Wait just a minute. Uh. Hell come to work for you, on one condition. Whats that . That you buy out his stand, and move it off the lot. Ive got no use for that stand. Well, somebody else might have. I guess i just bought myself a stand. Okay. When can you go to work . Tomorrow morning, i hope youll like the way i do my job. I can sell but i just dont push myself on anybody. Barney youre gettin the best salesman in mayberry. Uhuh. Second best. W. Youre workin for him. Oh, howdy, ben. Hows everythin . Hows bert workin out over at the store . Oh, hes all right. The main thing i was interested in was seeing that lot get cleaned up keepin the new business from startin up in there. Wouldnt look good, you know. Oh, about that, ben im afraid ive got some bad news. Huh . Did you pass the lot on the way over here . No. Theres a new business over there. What . Now, wait a minute. You promised me that youd keep that lot clean. Now youre going back on your promise. You aint dealin fair, sheriff. Ben, the least you could do is to go talk with the fella. Have a look at his place and talk to him. I dont wanna talk to anybody. Now, if you will talk to him. Im not buying out any more businesses and im quit hiring any more salesmen. Youve got to get him out of here, andy. Now, now, now, ben. You cant do this to me. You and me made a deal. Now you wanna doublecross me by settin up another business. [indian music playing] [indian music playing] gabrielle offscreen india is so different, and yet theres this connection, too, you know . Its so exotic, so mysterious, so look xena offscreen maybe thats indias way rolling out the red carpet. Thats got to hurt. India is completely different. Gabrielle offscreen its such a strange place. Its well, it aint greece