Oh, i hope its good. Itll be fine. Ill get washed up. I dont know how he does it but hes got a knack of hittin a note just enough off to make your skin crawl. Oh, andy, everybody cant sing. Youve got to be tolerant of him. Barney . nita, juanita. . . Ahdahdahdee dahdadada . Have a sandwich, barney. Yeah, fill up your mouth there, barn. Eat slow. All right. door opening well, howdy, john. Bee hello, john. Hello, bee. Andy well, whats the trouble . Andy, ive got to talk to you. Well, wont you have a sandwich . No. No, thank you. Andy, weve got a big problem with the choir. We have . Ralph pritchard is dropping out. Oh, no. No, hes not. Yes, sir. With his new job hes on the road two weeks out of three so he has to step out. What in the world are we going to do about a first tenor . I just dont know, andy. Bee what about fred mason . Works nights, cant make practice and with that concert coming up we need plenty of practice. We sure do that. How about rick jackson . Maybe hes a tenor now that hes had his tonsils and. No. No . Hes got that foghorn voice even with his passages cleared out. Ordinarily, it wouldnt be so bad. We could get by but the judges of the state contest will be there. Andy thats right. t even be considered for the finals at roanoke. Bee after us working so hard all year. Yeah, its tough, all right. As my old voice teacher used to say a choir without its tenor is like a star without its glimmer. You know who used to say that . My old voice teacher. Thats the teacher i had when i studied voice. Barney, you have a trained voice . I didnt know you studied singing. Oh, well, just a little. Uh, john. This could solve everything. What part did you sing . Oh, first tenor. Oh, tenor. John. Well, barney, how about you joining the choir . Me . With all your training youre just what weve been looking for. Well, gosh. Gee. Golly, i never gave that much thought. Did you, andy . Oh, with that concert coming up in less than two weeks, were desperate. Oh, well. I guess i wouldnt be a very civicminded citizen if i refused, would i . You can count on old barn, john. Ill step in and help you out. Whens practice . Tonight at town hall. You can come along with andy. Right, sheriff . Oh, yeah, yeah. Ill bring him. Barney, thats just wonderful. Isnt that just wonderful, bee . Yes. Barney, speaking for the whole choir, welcome aboard. Well, thank you, john. Wait till thelma lou hears about this. Shell be thrilled. Barneys going to be in the choir . My barney . Thats right. But barney cant sing. I know. Hes a warm, wonderful person and i love him dearly, but he cant sing. Thats true. Hes kind, considerate the most gentle person ive ever known but he cant sing. Youre right. Hes the man i want to marry, not a lick. Well, im afraid hes gonna sing and theres nothing we can do about it. John masters already welcomed him aboard. Whats going to happen at choir practice tonight . Well, i expect everybody will find out barney cant sing. Not a lick. barney singing offkey . Welcome, sweet springtime . . We greet thee in song. . Oh, oh. Shh. Folks, i think i detected a little flat note there. Well, perhaps im mistaken. But lets just try it again, shall we . Hazel. . Welcome, sweet springtime . . We greet thee in song. . No, no, no, no. Shh. Folks. I definitely heard it this time. Someone is definitely singing offkey. Now, lets just watch it, shall we . What . Maybe i can help you out. Ill sort of move around, see if i can spot who it is. Very good, barney. Hazel. offkey . Welcome, sweet springtime . . We greet thee in song . . Murmurs of gladness . . Fall on the ear . . Voices long hushed now their full notes prolong . others stop singing . Echoing far and near. . I think you cut out a little too soon. I didnt have a chance to spot who it was. Keep it going. You sure he didnt follow you . Oh, no. E back way. Good. Well, thelma lou, i guess you know why i called this emergency meeting. Im going to tell barney to get out of the choir. Now, john, you cant kick him out the very day you asked him to join. Ive got to, andy, or hell ruin the choir. Well, theres bound to be another way. Uh, thelma lou, youre his girl. Oh, no, ii couldnt. Aunt bee, he likes you. Well, why me . Andy, youre his friend. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Then ill tell him. No. You cant do that, john. What do you suggest . Maybe hell fall down and break his mouth. doorbell rings andy hi, john. Hi. Come on in. How are you . You sure did wait till the last minute to change the Meeting Place. How come . We figured we had to have one practice without barney sos we get an idea of where were going. The poor boy. Hell be expecting us all over at town hall. Thats the truth. Well, i had to do something. That concert is a week from tonight and we havent sung one number through on key. all agreeing well, of course, theres always the alternative. I could tell him to his face. No. Oh, no. Dont do that. Well do it. Bee. Thelma lou. Andy. Thank you. All right now. Now, everybody 14a, from the beginning. Everybody ready . Now a nice group, please. Nice group. Ready . Hazel. playing introduction . Welcome, sweet springtime . . We greet thee in song . . Voices long hushed . . Now their full notes prolong. . doorbell ringing repeatedly doorbell continues ringing hi, john. Hi, everybody. Hi, barn. Golly, its a lucky thing i turned down elm street and heard the singing. Next time you change the Meeting Place you ought to let a fella know. Whos the phone committee . Oh, uh, didnt anybody call you, barn . No, they didnt. Im sorry, barney. I dont know how that oversight came about. Well, no harm done. Alls well that ends well. Here i am. Lets get started. Oh, good old 14a. clearing throat humming meme, aaah. . Okay. Hazel. piano introduction . Welcome, sweet springtime . . We greet thee in song . offkey . Murmurs of gladness. . Im sorry, andy, but my mind is made up. This cannot go on. The concert is day after tomorrow and i will not have it ruined well . Whats it to be . You or me . All right, john, if its got to be done i guess its our place to do it. Thelma lou, you and barney come on over to the house tonight and well try to think of some way to keep him from showing up at that concert. Well, all right, but how . Well, after supper, well, well take him in and set him down, and talk to him reason with him, explain it all to him yeah, that was really good to eat, yeah. I believe ill have some more of that coffee. Uh, hey, barn . Huh . Theres, uh. Theres something weve been wanting to talk with you about. Something weve been thinking about the choir. And i bet i know just what it is. The way we been singing good old 14a leaves a lot to be desired. Listen, while were all here why dont we get in a little extra practice . Well, thats. Well, it wouldnt hurt none, you know . No matter how good we are theres always room for imovement. None of us is perfect. Come on, thelma lou you can tickle the old ivories. Sit right down here now. One thing about singing, you never get too much practice. Thats what my voice teacher used to say. Thats the place, i believe. All right. . Me. Me. Me. . Okay, everybody ready . All right. barney singing offkey . Welcome, sweet springtime we greet thee in song . Somebody sounds terrible. . Murmurs of gladness fall on the ear . Barn. . Voices long hushed now their full notes prolong . Hey, hold it. Hold it did somebody hit a sour note . Worse than that. Open up your mouth. Huh . Open your mouth. I want to see something. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ohoh. Ohoh . Aunt bee you and thelma lou look, see if you see it. Open up. Ah. Oh, its all red its red as can be. It is . Yes. And swelled up. Oh, theres a lump in there that big. I mean, not very. Its likely it just started. Youll be feeling it in a few hours. You better get to bed. Get to bed . for how long . Theres the concert and everything forget about tha huh . Forget about it . Not be in it . Leave you without a first tenor . Well, itll be a blow to the group. Theres no doubt about that but, well, it cant be helped. But, andy, i think i can make it. Barney, you have to think of the others. I mean, their health. You have to think of their health. Even if you could make it all over everybody else, would you . Honey, ill take you home. Now go along with her, barney. And dont you think about the concert. You just think about getting well. But to be this close. Rest, barney, rest. door buzzer sounds who could that be at this hour . I dont know. Barney, what are you doing here . Andy, i got great news my throat aint sore after all. Howd you find out . He insisted on stopping by doc kravits. This was important. I didnt want to let the group down. I figured maybe he could give me one of them miracle drugs or something. You know what the miracle was . There aint nothing wrong with my throat. My throat aint no different than anybody elses. Thats what the doc said. Good old doc. You know that lump you seen . Thats the uvula. Everybodys got one. Open your mouth. Theres the old uvula. You got a uvula. They got a uvula. I got a uvula. All gods children got a uvula. Hallelujah. Its just incredible how a man can sing so flat and talk so normal. Yup. Shame barney cant talk his part. Yeah. Hi, everybody. Sorry im late. Was just discussing a new idea that involves you. Oh, yeah . Something to do with the group . You better know it has. Uh, were going to make you soloist. Right, john . Soloist . Yeah. Soloist . Me . Yeah, and youre going to have your own microphone and everything i am . Oh, yeah. We have to keep you way separate from the group. You do . Yeah. Thats so your recitations will stand out. My recitations . Number. And youre going to do em. You mean i dont get to sing . I just talk . Oh, it will be so effective. Wont it . all agreeing effective right in the middle of all this singing will come your dramatic voice. Speaking your part. Wont that be effective . all agreeing well, if youre all agreed i guess the least i can do is give her a try. Oh, good, good. ll do 14a. And when we get to the second verse you talk it, right . Okay, good old 14a . Lets start at voices long hushed. All right, andy. Now, talk. Hazel. . Voices long hushed now their full notes prolong . . Echoing far and near . group humming balmy and lifebreathing breezes are blowing. Swiftly to nature, new vigor bestowing. . Oh, how my heart . . Beats with rapture anew . Hold it youre supposed to be talking. Oh, its no use, andy. Can you tell a bird to talk . Can you tell a bird to just go chirp, chirp, chirp . No, andy, im like a bird. I was born to sing. Barney, barney, barney. If youll excuse me i better give myself a couple squirts. You still want to go through with it . Let him sing solo . No, andy, no. Wait a minute, john. Itll work. It come to me yesterday when i saw barney listening to a phonograph record. Now, listen. Barneyll do the solos all right. But it wont be with his voice. You see, barney, hell be on stage singing into a dead microphone. The live microphone will be backstage its as simple as that. But glen cripe is not a tenor. Itll work, john. How are you going to keep barney quiet . Even though his microphone is dead people can still hear him. I already got that worked out. Just leave it to me and dont worry. This here is a solo microphone. Very, very, sensitive. This thing will amplify your voice a thousand times. Really strong, huh . Every eardrum in the auditorium. What do i do . You have to sing real low, real low. Now try it. Okay. clears throat . Balmy and life. . Hold it. Hold i too loud. Low. . Balmy and life. . Thats still too loud, barney. When i mean low, i mean real low. It dont take much to be heard. Try it again. Try it again, okay. . Balmy and lifebreathing breezes are blowing . Was that all right . Thats still too loud, barney. Still way yonder too loud. Believe me, now tomorrow night, when this microphones hot and the amplifiers are amplifying and the acoustics and all. Why, i tell you what. You just keep singing softer and softer and when you got it about right ill tell you. Okay. . Balmy and life. . . Balmy and. . . Balmy and. . no audio thats it thats it thats it you got it now you do it just like that and youll come through fine. Andy, i was barely making a sound. You think you was barely making a sound but tomorrow night when this microphones on and you sing like that will reverberate all through this hall. Wont it, gang . . Welcome, sweet springtime, we greet thee in song . . Murmurs of gladness fall on the ear . . Ooh . . Sunshine now wakes all the flowers from sleep . . Joygiving incense floats on the air . . Snowdrops and primrose both timidly peep . . Paling the glad new year . deep voice . Balmy and lifebreathing breezes are blowing . . Oh, how my heart beats with rapture anew . . Earths fairest beauty again meets my view . . Sunshine now wakes all the flowers from sleep . . Joygiving incense floats on the air . . Snowdrops and primrose both timidly peep . . Paling the glad new year . Gabrielle offscreen [humming] [snoring] [bird squawking] oh, i hate that. Its late. Gabrielle