comparemela.com

And now, hold on tight, heres jimmy kimmel [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, everyone. Im jimmy, im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thanks to all of you for coming. Very nice. We are back to work after a long weekend. It didnt feel like a long weekend. But technically it was. I hope you had a fine memorial day. I hope you took time to remember the men and women who risked and sacrificed their lives so the rest of us can eat yogurt out of a tube. [ laughter ] memorial days become the unofficial start to summer. Summer doesnt technically start until next month. That didnt stop me from wearing a bikini all weekend, ill tell you that. This is interesting. Heres theres a new report that says more than half of American Workers didnt use all their Vacation Days last year. They had them, they just didnt take them. So the people who did the study asked why. Some said they did it to impress their boss with their work ethic. The rest said, i hate my family. [ laughter ] i dont want to spend another minute with them. But its interesting. Because even though we arent taking all our Vacation Days, most American Workers i think youll agree are more than making up for it by spending the vast majority of every day checking facebook at work. [ laughter ] it was an eventful memorial day at the white house. This was weird. Sunday night, this video made the rounds. You can see mysterious red lights flashing in or on, this is not fake, this is from the second floor window at the white house. It went on for about 20 minutes. And white house stress Secretary Sean Spicer said the red light was the reflection of an ambulance in lafayette park. So the one thing we know for sure is the red light was definitely not the reflection of an ambulance in lafayette park. [ laughter ] there are a lot of theories [ cheers and applause ] maybe it was the alarm that goes off when President Trump tries to get into melanias bedroom. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ drumroll ] the president and first lady are back home from italy. They were out of the country last week spreading joy and optimism all over the world. Their travels included a stop at the u. S. Naval air station in sicily where melania wowed the world with one hell of an impromptu speech. We had the great time here. And we did a lot of great stuff. And i want to thank you very much. This has been an incredible trip and a Great Strides have been made. Jimmy very, very well said, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] its like lady dracula gave a book report. [ laughter ] President Trump spoke in sicily too where he reminded our troops of americas military contributions overseas. Americans fought and died to liberate europe from the evils of naziism. Jimmy what . Naziism . When hitler got seasick he had to be treated for naziism. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] donald trump, our president , had a lot to say in sicily so we slowed him down to half speed for tonight. Italiano edition of drunk donald trump. [ tape playing very slowly ] all of us would be more safe and secure if everyone fulfills their obligations the way theyre supposed to. Right . Look at this man. Hes over there. Hes agreeing with me 100 . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the Approval Rating is 100 . So the president s back home. And the United States, where the investigation into his connections with russia is heating up. According to the washington post, Donald Trumps soninlaw Senior Adviser Jared Kushner is now a focus of the investigation. Kushner met with the Russian Ambassador to the United States at trump tower in december. Before he was president , reportedly proposed a secret back channel of communications so trump could be in touch with moscow without the United States government knowing about it. And you thought your soninlaw was an idiot. [ laughter ] [ applause ] this is potentially illegal, maybe even very illegal. Fortunately this morning trump retweeted the story from fox and friends that sit jared didnt do it, so. Thats a relief. Senator john mccain, fellow republican, said he doesnt like this at all, he says allegations of ties between Trumps Campaign and russia are reaching watergate size and scale. And that, you know i understand what senator mccain is saying. But watergate was different. Watergate was some guys breaking into a hotel. This is a guy with a hotel breaking into the white house. [ laughter ] and with all this going on, there are rumors that the president is considering a shakeup of his staff. The Communications Director for the white house resigned last week. And sean spicer, i dont know what sean spicers situation is. But based on his performance today, it seems like hes making a concerted effort to stay on someones good side. I want to begin by recapping the incredible, historic trip the president and the first lady have just concluded because it truly was an extraordinary week for america. It was an unprecedented first trip abroad. Historic turning point that people will be talking about for many years to come. We have to look back decades to find a comparatively dramatic moment in the history of u. S. Foreign policy. The president s historic speech was met with nearly universal praise. Countless arab allies also praised the president s leadership on this visit. This was a historic event in that regard alone. The president went to israel where he was received with incredible warmth and gave a highly praised address at the israel museum. In three days trump carried out a semirevolution. [ laughter ] jimmy semirevolution. Its like a revolution that almost succeeded. [ applause ] i got to say, either sean spicer is covering his ass or someone is bigly in love with President Trump. [ laughter ] you know how pope francis took a picture with the trumps where he looked kind of angry in the picture . It became famous. [ laughter ] looked like gods been making him sleep on the couch. [ laughter ] he did it again. Hes with the canadian prime minister. Justin trudeau and his wife. Again, not happy at all. I dont know if hes i think id be sad if i was forced to wear the same dress every day. Makes you wonder, is everything okay with the pope . Did the vatican wifi go out . I mean, being pope isnt easy, theres a lot of pressure and very little room for advancement. [ laughter ] but fortunately for pope francis, help is on the way. Remember when you were carefree . When life was fun . Now everything feels like a chore. Especially being forced to take pictures with losers you have no interest in meeting. It doesnt have to anymore. With lexapope, an antidepressant specifically formulated for people who are the pope. So if youre the pope, ask your doctor about lexapope. Because life for the pope should always be dope. Lexapope. Being pope sucks. Lexapope can help. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this is good stuff. This is from you know, they have a new guardians of the galaxy ride at california adventure. The local news channels are sending reporters to try it out. This is from our abc affiliate in fresno, corey james. Help me out here, im not sure if this is a good review or a bad one. The ride has already started. Heres the music that weve been talking about too. Now the doors are closing. Whoo aah oh, oh you okay there, corey . It took your breath away . Aah [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i dont know. If sean spicer does get the boot, thats the guy trump should look at. [ laughter ] hey, mario lopez, you know mario, he was on saved by the bell. [ cheers and applause ] dont go overboard. [ laughter ] anyway, hes got a new game show on cbs. The show is based on a popular app. Give them credit already. For a promo that is refreshingly honest. Your summer crush is here. This is candy crush were building the biggest game show arena. This is mind blowing. To play the most popular mobile game of alltime. Mario lopez hosts candy crush. Premieres cbs this summer. Im going to kill myself jimmy what . [ laughter ] thats a promo . All right. We have to take a break. When we come back i will talk to children about our president. So stick around, well be right back [ cheers and applause ] we, the entertainmentloving people, want an unlimited data plan that gives us more. We want more than just texting. More than just surfing and shopping. Because sure, we want to use this to call the people we love like our directors. But mostly, to get the entertainment we love. Switch to at t and get unlimited wireless data and 60 channels of Live Television on multiple screens for 70 a month. Goal nitedhealthcare, you can get rewarded for waldad. We wanna welcome everyone to the father daughter dance. Walk, move and earn money. For outofpocket medical expenses. Hes ok unitedhealthcare [ ] you all the time. Ories am i going to pass away like my mom did . And so you know this is something thats important. Losing my mom to Heart Disease and then being diagnosed myself. Its like a war were trying to fight against these diseases. Resilience is in my dna. I wont die like my mom. Its a big challenge, but the challenge in itself is what keeps me going. I could really make a difference in these peoples lives. That would be my dream. You might not ever just stand there, looking at it. You may never even sit in the back seat. Yeah, but maybe you should. laughter jimmy welcome back to the show. Keri russell, Scott Speedman, Casey Crawford on the way. First were 130 days into the trump administration. So far its been smooth sailing, not a bump. [ laughter ] but of course adults are biased and partisan and all those things that make it difficult to work together. Children arent. Children are honest. So i asked kids, future voters of america, to give me their takes on the state of our president and our union and this is what they had to say. You know who the president is . Yep. Jimmy who is it . Donald trump. Jimmy how do you think hes doing . I think hes doing good. Jimmy you do . Youre happy with the job hes done so far . Yeah. Jimmy what does the president even do . He watches over our country. Jimmy right. And he protects the people and he makes sure nobody breaks the laws. Jimmy right. But it turns out a lot of people are breaking the laws. Yeah. Jimmy you know . In fact, somebody peed on these steps a little earlier. Did you know that . No. Jimmy and yet President Trump, where is he . He does nothing about it. Hes in the white house. Jimmy i know, but dont you think he should be here protecting our steps from people peeing on them . Yeah. Jimmy i do too. Luckily you wore a yellow dress. Yeah. Jimmy yeah. Donald trump. Yep. Donald trump. Is the president of the United States. Jimmy he is the president of the United States. How do you think hes doing so far . Oh, i think hes doing good. Jimmy you do . What do you like about what hes been doing . I like that he built a wall. Because mexico tries to tear into the United States, attack the United States. Jimmy do you think theres a looming threat of mexico trying to attack the United States . No. Jimmy i dont think you have to worry about the mexicans attacking us, you know . Yeah. Jimmy as a kid youve got other things to worry about, like sleepovers, killer bees. Are kids still worried about killer bees . No. Jimmy you should, thats whats going to get you. Killer bees arent real. Jimmy killer bees are real, read about it, trust me on this one. Youll be lucky to hit 10 years old. How do you think President Trump is doing so far . Not really well. Because my sister told me that donald trump is against another state. Jimmy which state . I cant jimmy is it nebraska . Yeah, nebraska. [ laughter ] jimmy a lot of people are happy that hes bombing nebraska. Do you think it was a good idea . No. Jimmy you dont . Because theres better bombs. I think theyre going to be okay, though, i really do. Once football season starts. Theyre usually pretty solid. If you could give the president any advice, what advice would you give him . Like walk around a little bit and see whats going on in different states. Jimmy thats good advice. Which states . Like california. New york. Jimmy nebraska . Nebraska. Montana. Jimmy nebraskas had it pretty hard. Should we say a prayer for our friends in nebraska . Sure. Jimmy dear lord. Please watch over our friends in omaha. And i cant think of any other cities in nebraska. But please watch over all of them. And keep them safe from harm. Amen. Amen. Jimmy amen. Do you think donald trump is making America Great again . Yeah. Jimmy what sorts of things is he changing . Like were going into war. Jimmy you like that . No. Jimmy oh. Do you know who the Vice President is . Yes. Mike pence. Jimmy mike pence. What do you think of him . What i dont like is that he did not support the wall then he switched to supporting the wall. Jimmy did you know mike pence likes to dress as a woman when hes at home . Really . Jimmy uhhuh. Its true. Spread it around. [ laughter ] what do you think about whats going on in russia . With russia right now . Russia. I heard some some bad things about russia. Jimmy we had a cold war with russia, yeah. Yeah. Jimmy you know what a cold war is . No. Jimmy its a war in the snow. Oh. Jimmy yes, like remember in star wars when they had the snow troopers . Yeah. Jimmy its kind of like that. I love star wars. Jimmy what the do you like about donald trump . That hes nice. Jimmy you think hes nice . Do you think hes nice . Uh kind of. Jimmy kind of, yeah. Whos your favorite celebrity . Michael jackson. Jimmy you think Michael Jackson would be a better president than donald trump . Yeah. Jimmy you do . Yeah . You think Michael Jackson would ever consider running for president . No. Jimmy why not . Because hes already a famous person. Jimmy theres another big reason why he probably wont run for president too. Because he has he has hm. Jimmy because he has passed away . Probably, yeah. Jimmy yeah, yeah. I agree. Jimmy yeah, you agree. Overall you have a positive feeling about the country. You think the president is making America Great again . I think americas always been great. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i would have to agree with you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thanks, kids. Tonight on the show Scott Speedman is here. Casey crawford is with us. And well be right back with keri russell. Flavors are transformed, afternoons get more refreshing. From the bold starbucks double shot on ice to the sweet iced caramel macchiato. Meet a friend and chill together. From june 27th to july 2nd buy any grande iced expresso beverage, get one free between 2 and 5pm. Discover card. Hooh, youre real . . You know im real at discover, were always here to talk. Good, cause i dont have time for machines. Some Companies Just dont appreciate the power of conversation you know, i like you i like you too at discover, we treat you like youd treat you. Get the it card and talk to a real person. And now im sure its more than a stroke of luck yeah, i love you, do you love me, too . Yeah, i love you, do you love me, too . Clap your hands if it feels good clap your hands, ohh oh, my love my darlin ive hungered for your touch papa, hola ive hungered for your touch no, no no, no no no ill be coming home, wait for me with simply right checking from santander bank, just make one deposit, withdrawal, transfer, or payment each month to waive the monthly fee. And theres no minimum balance. Youre all right with simply right checking from santander bank. Are you feeling all right, baby . With simply right checking from santander bank. And still have dry eye symptoms . Ready for some relief . Xiidra is the first and only eye drop approved for both the signs and symptoms of dry eye. One drop in each eye, twice a day. Common side effects include eye irritation, discomfort or blurred vision when applied to the eye, and unusual taste sensation. Dont touch container tip to your eye or any surface. Remove contacts before using xiidra and wait at least 15 minutes before reinserting. Chat with your eye doctor about xiidra. We cant stay here why . Terrible toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you. Charmin ultra strong. It cleans better. Its four times stronger. And you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. So find a venus smooth that contours to curves, the smoother the skin, the more comfortable you are in it. Flexes for comfort, and has a disposable made for you. Skin smoothing venus razors. Jimmy hi, there. Tonight, from animal kingdom, Scott Speedman is here. Its like a felicity reunion show tonight. Then, a funny guy from boston, comedian Casey Crawford is with us. You will like him. We have new shows this week at our regular time. Sarah silverman will be here, uncomfortable for me. [ laughter ] jimmy butler will be with us. And someone else. We dont know who the other person is . Ill text everyone when we find out. [ laughter ] also this week were back in primetime for the return of our nba game night specials with an allstar lineup that includes Robert Downey jr. , tom holland, owen wilson, will ferrell, jamie foxx, snoop dogg, billy crystal, karl malone. And on thursday for game one, kevin hart and an allnew allnba edition of mean tweets. [ cheers and applause ] thats thursday night, 8 00 eastern 7 00 central and after the game on the west coast. All right. Our first guest was into spying for russia way before it was the trendy thing to do. Her criticallyacclaimed fx show the americans wrapped up its 5th season earlier tonight, and she is a newlyminted member of the hollywood walk of fame. Please welcome keri russell. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, first of all, congratulations on the hollywood walk of fame. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] did you know this . Yours is the 2,613th star on the hollywood walk of fame. I wasnt meaning to joke there. [ laughter ] you know, its only its been going on for like 100 years, thats pretty good, i think. Its true, it was pretty amazing. Jimmy was it something you dreamed of . I have to admit, you know, obviously its an amazing, amazing, incredible thing. But when i first heard about it i was a little worried. Because i thought when you think about the hollywood, a star on hollywood boulevard, you think of some iconic person like judy garland. Jimmy right. Johnny carson. So i was kind of like, a, do they know something i dont know . [ laughter ] like, am i going to die . [ laughter ] jimmy yes, yeah. Or b, is it over . Is my career over . Is this the twilight of my career . Shes wrapped the mickey mouse club. Shes played that college kid. Russian spy. Its over, done, someone else new, go. Jimmy no, its not really the case. There are many stars whose careers are thriving out there. Apparently, thats what they said. Someone said chris pratt just got one. Hes a big movie star. And i said, can you confirm that since he got the star hes gotten another job . [ laughter ] no, i cant. What is this . Jimmy its funny you say that. In a way it is like being at your own funeral at that thing. It kind of was. They make you stand there. Love them. It was amazing, obviously. You stand there and people talk about you. Jimmy right. Standing there. Jimmy and your name is on something buried in cement. Yes. Its so true. Jimmy who spoke about you . Joe fields, whos one of the creators and writers on the americans. Jimmy right. And matt reeves and j. J. Abrams. Jimmy j. J. Not only felicity was his show, mission impossible. Died. Jimmy and now he gave your eulogy, the circle is complete. Wait a minute. Jimmy but that is a lot of stuff to do together. It was. Jimmy obviously youre close. Did you know tom cruise before that movie . Didnt know tom cruise. Id met him at j. J. s house. J. J. Was having this Birthday Party at his house. And suddenly tom cruise was there. We were like, tom cruise, what is he doing at this Birthday Party . There was a because it was at his house. Not like j. J. Had hula hoops or something. It was a kid easy hula hoop. Somehow there was a hula hoop contest. I could be wrong but i think Scott Speedman was involved in the hula hoop contest. Jimmy is that right . You could ask him. Im pretty sure tom cruise won the hula hoop contest. Jimmy of course he, did he probably trained with some hula hoop shaman. Right. Jimmy climbed to the top of hula hoop mountain to learn how. Yes. Jimmy hes probably still out there doing it. So good. Jimmy yeah, that does sound right. Id put my money on tom cruise immediately if there was a Party Competition going on. Your children are how old . River is almost 10 this week. Willa is 5 1 2, she will tell you. Sam just turned 1. Jimmy are they ilpressed by what you do for a living . Not at all. Jimmy not at all, no. Like theres nothing i can do that impresses the 10yearold. Like nothing. Jimmy really . Not jumping out of a burning building with tom cruise. Not being like kind of an actor. You know, like where you get to do hes like, whatever. And but i did just get asked to do bear grylls adventure show. [ cheers and applause ] hes like this cool, tough guy. And he does wilderness things. He takes celebrities in the wild and kills them, right . [ laughter ] yes. Basically. And so the timing didnt work. I got asked to do it recently. And i said, oh, it sounds really cool, but the timing doesnt work. River heard about it, he was like, you have to do bear you have to do it jimmy that pushed his buttons. I was like, youve got to do it. Jimmy you did it for your son . I did it for river. Jimmy has he seen it yet . He has not seen it. What did you have to do . I had to do so [ bleep ] much. Jimmy really . Genuinely dangerous stuff or stuff that looked dangerous but is not . Yes, its way harder i thought, its a tv show. Ill be doing something hard and theyll be like, dont worry about it, well edit that. It was really hard. And i think im in shape. Im tough. I can do it. But one of the best things is i flew we flew to he does all these amazing locations and mine was the Canary Islands on the off the coast of africa. It was so glamorous to be a boring mom flying to some exotic thing without kids, it was so fun. [ laughter ] so anyway, we go and i left on mothers day. And matthew, my guy, had the kids, they gave me this necklace before i left. It was like a little survivalist necklace with this tiny capsule that i assume you keep medicine or something in. Jimmy nitroglycerine. Or whatever. I want to die jimmy the suicide pill. Yeah. So i unraveled it at the airport. And there was a tiny little picture matthew had made of all three kids together. And then river was allowed to write one little note on behalf of all the children. To me. And what did the note say scribbled in his 10yearold handwriting . Dont die. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy and you didnt. Now i have to tell you, ive been nervous. I dont want to talk about about what happened on the americans tonight because people get very, very angry. So we will not address specific plot points. Unless you want to say something. I dont care if they get angry at you. Its your show. Its me i dont want to get yelled at. Ill tell everything jimmy this show is i think like as far as like the critics go, this is a show that people are i feel like theyre almost yelling at america, like you better watch this its almost as if what they do means nothing. If people dont listen to them in this particular case. Its such a this has been such a fun job for me. Everything ive done, i feel like its just so cool. So fun to be part of something so cool. My part is so great. And its something i didnt think i could do. And it was just its really been a jimmy did you tell them you didnt think you could do it . Yes, over and over. Over and over. Jimmy it almost has a reverse effect. Yes. Jimmy theyre like, oh my gosh, shes not desperate at all, we must get her. Shes the one. Yeah. Jimmy scott is here. Scott speedman. Speedman. Jimmy before he comes, is there anything you want to say about him or tell us . Reveal. Yes. You know what, i had to do this big star ceremony, whatever. Thing today. I was nervous. But i always when i come to town, i always see my friends mandy and scott. From felicity. So i said, come to the holt, lets see each other first before we have to do all the scary stuff. And scott just kept saying, so like when do you do the hands, put your hand in the cement . Over and over. Mandys like, its not that event. [ laughter ] then finally at the end he said, but when do you do the hands . And hes like, im coming for like a star thing . I was like, [ bleep ]. Jimmy thats your message ill pass along. [ cheers and applause ] keri russell, everyone. Catch up on the americans on fx. All the previous seasons are on amazon prime. Thank you very much. Well be right back ready or not, here i come. Winner gets the cheetos its go time. Lights out. Ok, not funny you guys. This is not how we play hide and seek. Thats what you think pops. [from the bathroom] alright, very funny, let me out. And the student has surpassed the master. This scarf all thats my left to rememb. Sayonara. What. She washed this like a month ago the long lasting scent of gain. Now available in matching scents across your entire laundry routine. When youre close to the people you love, does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment . If you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. Taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. With taltz, up to 90 of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. In fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. Do not use if you are allergic to taltz. Before starting you should be checked for tuberculosis. Taltz may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. Tell your doctor if you are being treated for an infection or have symptoms. Or if you have received a vaccine or plan to. Inflammatory bowel disease can happen with taltz. Including worsening of symptoms. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Nows your chance at completely clear skin. Just ask your doctor about taltz. Nows your chance at completely clear skin. Are you ok . What happened . Dad kinda walked into my swing. Huh . Dont you mean dad kind of ruined our hawaii fund . I thud go to the thothpital. There goes the airfair. I dont think Health Insurance will cover all. Of that. Buth my fathe without that cash from aflac we might have to choose between hawaii or your face. Hawaii what . Haha. Hawaii you might have less coverage than you think. Visit aflac. Com and keep your lifestyle healthy. Aflac lobster and shrimp are teaming up in so many new dishes. Fest, like coastal lobster and shrimp, with shrimp crusted with kettle chips. Or new, overthetop lobster and shrimp overboard. But it cant last, so hurry in. Im going to take they sky jet. Jimmy keri russell, Scott Speedman, and Casey Crawford are on the way. Please welcome Scott Speedman. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, its good to have you here. When was the last time you saw each other besides today . 20 years now next year. 20 years were old. Yeah were old. I got the job out of toronto. Were old. Yeah, were old. Wow. I got the job out of toronto, two days later i was on set with her. I sent a videotape to j. J. And matt reeves. Next thing i knew i was friends with her. Jimmy youve been friends that long. Most people from shows either separate themselves or they hate the people. Both usually. I know, its a good group, we all like j. J. Jimmy will you do a Gilmore Girls kind of thing on netflix, get together [ cheers and applause ] i would do it. Some people are on really highclass shows. Some people ill do it in a heartbeat. Ill be on lifetime in no time. Jimmy youre working on animal kingdom. I am. Jimmy which is a drama. Sure is. Jimmy people might think its about animals. People ask me if im the host. Its a metaphor a metaphor. Jimmy youve got a koala and youre showing it to people . Yeah, sometimes when they run into me theyre big fans of felicity. Then theyre like, are you still acting . Yeah, im on animal kingdom. Oh, are you the host . No, im not the host jimmy this makes sense now why you thought keri was getting her hands and feet in the cement. [ laughter ] right, yeah. Jimmy you have a weird inferiority complex. I was a little disappointed it was the star. I was expecting the hands and feet and i was going to get in there. Jimmy jump in. Yeah. Jimmy since youre here i want to talk about it. You can talk to her still if you want. Jimmy would you mind . Just sitting behind . Yes. Story of my life. Jimmy i can only imagine, if there was a facebook, if there was social media during the time, there wasnt at that time. Thank god, man. Thank god. Jimmy why do you say thank god . I dont know, there was like instagram back then, i dont know if i would have survived. I dont know. Id be in a shack in portland by now. I would have pulled an accidental Anthony Weiner at some point. Jimmy oh, really . I dont know, accident ol or otherwise, i dont know. Thats a dangerous combo, me at 24 on felicity. Thats true. Its true for you too . [ laughter ] for kids these days its hard. Its hard. Jimmy its hard. It is hard not to photograph your genitals. [ laughter ] i find it hard. Jimmy it takes so much selfrestraint. So much. All day. So much. Jimmy that show, i remember of course the big thing was when you cut your hair. Yeah. Jimmy that was im sure part of the script, that the haircut would happen. Did you know that it would be so short and such a big deal . How dare you. Jimmy it was a big deal. It was a big deal. I think the powers that be made it seem like i got drunk on the weekend and cut my hair ask showed up one day what do you think of this . It was a real story point. Its true, yeah. Really did. But we were dating at the time, id been a disaster of a boyfriend up to then, i knew i had to put on a good show. New haircut, youve got to bring it home, youve got to do it. I got to work, she turned the corner, my face froze in a half panic, half smile situation, did not pull it off. It was a chia head sort of. Chia pet. Chia pet. But it grew into something great, we all recovered from it. There was a chia pet vibe. Jimmy lets go back to scott being a disaster of a boyfriend. What still remains. Jimmy lets speak generally. What constitutes a disaster of a boyfriend . What kinds of things does she does not need to answer. [ laughter ] this is not the time. [ cheers and applause ] lets leave that totally alone. A young 20s disaster. Not much has changed. Jimmy not much has changed. Things are going very well, youre both on separate shows. Yeah. Jimmy youve not as far as i know photographed yourself naked and posted it. No. The night is young. Well see what happens. Jimmy that would be a nice tribute. Well take a polaroid and tape it right next to keris star on the walk of fame. Thats my version of it. [ laughter ] jimmy well, it seems like i have to say i too am happy that you guys are getting along. Are you . Jimmy it seems like you are. It seems like i dont know, i mean it does seem like youre almost like brother and sister. I dont want to be weird. But it does. I have to say, you know like i have my core friends in l. A. And mandy and scott, i feel like they always have my back. Theyre just like they would fight so much for me. Jimmy would you fight someone . Fight a member of our audience right now. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] dont, dont, dont, dont i dont like this, i dont like this [ cheers and applause ] no, stop it, oh my gosh, oh my gosh jimmy keri russell and Scott Speedman you chickened out, scott. Animal kingdom airs tuesdays at 9 00pm on tnt. And well return with comedian Casey Crawford. [ cheers and applause ] howl whimper yap yap yap yip is your dog trying to tell you something . Allergic itch in dogs is a medical condition thats more common and treatable than you think. Thats why theres prescription apoquel the revolutionary medicine thats giving millions of dogs the relief they deserve. Apoquel goes to the source of the itch to provide relief in as little as 4 hours. Woof and apoquel is safe without many of the side effects associated with the use of steroids. Apoquel is for the control of itch associated with allergic dermatitis and the control of Atopic Dermatitis in dogs. Do not use apoquel in dogs less than 12 months old or those with serious infections. Apoquel may increase the chance of developing serious infections and may cause existing parasitic skin infestations or preexisting cancers to worsen. Do not use in breeding, pregnant, or lactating dogs. Most common side effects are vomiting and diarrhea. Dont wait. Ask your veterinarian about apoquel today. Apoquel. Its itch relief worth barking about. Bark i hate the outside. Well, i hate it wherever you are. Burn. Burn. Is that what the kids are saying now . Im so bored, im dead. You can always compare rates on progressive. Com. Oh, thats nice, dear. But could you compare camping trips . Because this one would win. All i want to do is enjoy nature and peace and quiet its not about winning. Its about helping people find a great rate even if its not with progressive. Ugh. Insurance. When i said peace and quiet, did you hear, talk more and disappoint me . Do do do do skiddly do do camping with the family [ flame whooshes ] and now im sure its more than a stroke of luck yeah, i love you, do you love me, too . Yeah, i love you, do you love me, too . Clap your hands if it feels good clap your hands, ohh finding the best hotel price is now a safe bet. Because tripadvisor searches over 200 booking sites so you save up to 30 on the hotel you want. Lock it in. Tripadvisor. Its your glass of willpower that helps keep cravings. Far, far away. Feel less hungry with the natural fiber in clinically. Proven meta appetite control. From metamucil. Schick hydro®. Protecting mankind, one face at a time. Schick hydro®. Technology that transforms. [ light music playing ] youve wished upon it all year, and now its finally here. The mercedesbenz summer event is back, with incredible offers on the mercedesbenz youve always longed for. But hurry, these shooting stars fly by fast. Lease the c300 for 399 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. If youre going to be in l. A. And want to see the show call 866jimmy tix. Go to jimmykimmellive. Com. John july 7th, 8th, 9th go to jimmykimmellive. Com to see streaming artists at summer fest. Jimmykimm jimmykimmellive. Com and sign up now. New charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. New charmin ultra soft is softer than ever so its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird enjoy the go with charmin so find a venus smooth that contours to curves, the smoother the skin, the more comfortable you are in it. Flexes for comfort, and has a disposable made for you. Skin smoothing venus razors. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you can see our next guest whenever he feels like it at the comedy studio in cambridge. Making his television debut, please welcome Casey Crawford [ cheers and applause ] how you guys doing . [ cheers and applause ] im so lonely. Anybody else lonely . [ one cheer ] just me . Im so lonely the other night i was downtown talking to a homeless guy, and he was like, well, i gotta go. [ laughter ] i like to have fun. You guys like to have fun . [ cheers and applause ] i like to have fun. Last halloween, i went as the guy whose wallet i found. [ laughter ] you guys, people come up to me in the woods all the time and ask me if i work there. [ laughter ] a High School Teacher once gave me a piece of advice. She said, if youre not a student, then you need to leave. Seems like that was just yesterday. You guys, according to my fitbit, i did about three miles worth of scissor kicks last night during my night terrors. [ laughter ] the other day an attractive young lady asked me if i wanted to go to a movie. All right, what movie, what time . Im like, you pick. Shes like, you pick. Im like, you pick. Shes like, you pick. Im like, you pick. Shes like, you pick. Im like, you pick. Shes like, you pick. And shes like, sir, there are other people waiting in line. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the hardest part for me about going to a laserlight show is trying to get all my cats to sit still. [ laughter ] i recently built a time machine for one of my cats. Sent him back in time to try and kill hitlers cat. Did some research afterwards and found out hitler never even had a cat. So, mission accomplished, i guess. [ laughter ] [ applause ] calm down, you guys. Im 38 years old, you guys. Im getting old. Its weird getting old. Like, i can watch an entire porno and the whole time just be thinking, i bet that pizzas getting cold. [ laughter ] its weird getting old. Ive been with my old lady 14 years now. [ cheers and applause ] 14 years is a long time to be with one person, you know. It is. At this point for us, having sex is a lot like trying to move a large piano into a small house. Its gonna be a lot easier if i just pay two High School Kids to do it [ laughter ] thanks [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i want to see that fitbit, where is it . Well, thats Casey Crawford, everybody. Thank you, casey. Id like to thank my guests and apologize to matt damon. We ran out of time. Nightline is next. Goodnight [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, judging cosby. A juror from the bill cosby Sexual Harassment trial revealing insider detailed after 52 hours of deliberations. There was four people crying in the room. Just couldnt handle it. Now prosecution demanding a retrial and the comedian remains a free man. I want to thank the jury. His big plans for whats next. Plus model mom, our journal to see world renown beauty christie turlington, running to great

© 2025 Vimarsana

comparemela.com © 2020. All Rights Reserved.