Glad youre here. We have a lot to get to. Have we sung the National Anthem yet . Has that happened . [ laughter ] we have so much to get to. Starting with day two of the Democratic National convention in hilladelphia. Hillary clinton became the first woman to be nominated by a major party in the United States, which even if she doesnt win thats going to look great on her resume. The theme of the convention tonight was a lifetime of fighting for children and families, which is definitely better than a lifetime of fighting children and families, which makes you realize the word for can make a very big difference. Bill clinton spoke tonight. He was the major speaker of the evening. Of course he strongly supported his wife to be our next president. In a surprise move asked Melania Trump to be his first lady. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] if hillary wins, it will be interesting to see because bill clinton would be our nations first first man. Which is interesting. Weve had a first man on the moon, a first man to climb mt. Everest, a first man to run a fourminute mile. Nobody ever thought to be just the first man. I guess adam maybe was the first first man. The democrats have had some impressive speakers so far. Last night Michelle Obama delivered her Second Convention speech of the week. [ laughter ] the first lady, she made a very powerful point. She noted that she and her husband wake up every day in a house built by slaves. To which donald trump replied, really, can i get the name of your contractor . Because much of the focus yesterday was on Bernie Sanders who did his best to throw his support to the clinton camp. Sanders said the democrats will work to break up the biggest banks. He said from it the wells fargo center, so maybe wait until next week. It was a big night for Bernie Sanders. You could tell. The First Time Ever it appears he combed his hair. His hair was very neat. Even today some sanders supporters were still hopeful he would somehow come out on top of the delegate count. Which either shows how passionate they are or how bad they are at math. Or maybe both of those things. But when bernie did voice his support for mrs. Clinton, this is how his supporters reacted. Any objective observer will conclude that based on her ideas and her leadership, Hillary Clinton must become the next president of the United States. Jimmy what a face, like the end of the movie the notebook. Bernie looked out, what happened, am i dead . There are a number of current and former comedians speaking at the convention, including senator al franken who was a comedy writer for many years, sarah silverman, lena dunham, and maybe best of all, pennsylvania senator bob casey. Donald trump hasnt made anything in his life, except a buck on the backs of working people. If he is the champion of working people, im the starting center for the 76ers. Jimmy good one, dad. [ laughter ] thats the mighty casey strikes out again. Meanwhile, donald trump was in roanoke, virginia. Hes on a roll. A new cnn poll has him leading hillary by 3 points. Even though he doesnt drink heres what it would look like if he did to celebrate tonights edition of drunk donald trump. [ slow tape playing ] shell go on, shell take a nap for four or five hours, then shell come back. No naps for trump. No naps. I dont take naps. We dont have time we dont have time. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy he is flying high right now because the democrats are behind in the polls. Actually, if you watch the convention today, you literally saw how far behind the polls they are. My name is nicholas mateola, speaker of the house of the great Democratic State of rhode island. We proudly cast 21 votes for senator Bernie Sanders. Our state cast our votes delaware is home to our favorite son madam secretary madam secretary im donnie deans new hampshire, where we bring democrats together im proud to announce that oklahoma, where our state motto is the great state of kansas. The father of the new political revolution, 74 votes for Bernie Sanders. Really. Cspan needs to get some human camera people. How the hell does that happen . Tonight on abc we had a very special episode of the bachelorette, the men tell all. Or maybe its pronounced the mental all, im not sure. But these political conventions are making you lose faith in america, the bachelorette men tell all special will do nothing to change that. Not even a bit. Much of the interest was directed at bad chad who is one of the most unpopular contestants ever on the show. The other guys did not like chad. He threatened them, he got physical with them, he was always working out. Tonight one of the fellows, nick, decided hed had enough. Chris, hold on, wait, wait. Oh its the same egotistical [ bleep ] we had to listen to all season. You going to pop a squat . No, listen to me. We have to resort to violence . Here we go. Chads really good at issuing threats, all right . Wait, are you trying to get air time right now . Chad, youre a coward that sits behind empty threats, dude, you got nothing. You want to fight me . Any time, any place, whatever. Hold on, guys. Youre a coward, dude. Dont worry, we got a Security Guard. Jimmy well, we kind of have a someone wake the Security Guard was that a Security Guard or did kubio get a haircut . Chad made no friends during his time in bachelor land. If he had to do it all over again would he do it the same way . Chris harrison asked and chad gave a surprisingly poetic response. Is there anything that you regret . You know, honestly, i mean i dont regret 99 of the things that happened. I think anybodys going to be mad when theyre getting [ bleep ] 24 7, night and day in front of 10 Million People watching. So did you like trying to think off the top of my head the jordan comment. Right that one, i thought that would make them be quiet, didnt work. It seemed to egg them on. Sometimes you use apples which you should have chose pickles, know what i mean . [ laughter ] jimmy kind of, i guess. Like when youre when you have to decide whether you should have the apple pie with ice cream or the pickle pie . I dont know. Its like apples and pickles, you know . You cant compare them. Ladies and gentlemen, that is story that caught my eye. According to a new study, the United States is falling short when it comes to height. American men and women used to be the tallest people in the world. Now we rank 37th and 42nd. The tallest men and the women now are from the netherlands and latvia. Which its like my mother always said, if you need to get something down from a high shelf, call a latvian. This is disturbing. Bring me my podium if you dont mind. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] my fellow americans. We need to get this country back on top. Literally. America was founded by tall people. Abraham lincoln. You cant tell by the dollar bill, George Washington was more than 8 feet tall. Are we going to let the netherlands tower over us . I dont know about you, but im not. Are you, guillermo . Guillermo no way. Jimmy you actually are going to let the netherlands tower over you. But i dont believe the dutch are the tallest people. I think theyre adding two or three inches with those wooden shoes. And latvia . Is latvia even a real country . Thats not a rhetorical question, i actually dont know. When i am Vice President , i will solve this in my first 100 days. And this is how i will do it. If you are over 510, you can stay. You can remain here and make babies, long babies, with other tall people. If youre shorter than that, you may be relocated to mexico and canada. And i will build a wall to keep all the short people from sneaking back in. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and it wont be as expensive as Donald Trumps wall because it wont need to be that high, really. In my america, you must be this tall to ride. So join me, fullsized people. Lets make america tall again [ cheers and applause ] and most importantly, lets bond together to teach these latvians a lesson theyll never forget we have to take a break. When we come back, the boys tell all. The baby bachelorette. So stick around, well be right back. [ school bell ringing] we were learning about how talented the ancient greeks were, and suddenly i traveled back in time i thought, i could have been a writer. Or an athlete i could have even been an architect then i realized, i dont have to go back in time to do amazing things. I can start today. Yes i can. Have you tried the tissue test . Question, are my teeth yellow . Ugh, yellow. What do you use . Crest whitestrips crest 3d whitestrips whiten. 25 times better than a leading whitening toothpaste i passed the tissue test. Oh yeah. Crest whitestrips are the way to whiten nversus a lube strip. A hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40 less friction. Its designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. Sorry, lube strip. Schick hydro®. Free your skin®. From the makers of pepsi cola. Im gonna smell it. Im just gonna take one small sip. Kinda seemed like more than a sip. 1893. Bloldly blended colas. This summer, tmobiles throwing a galaxy free for all. Right now get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone in the family. You heard right a free Samsung Galaxy with every new line. And get 4 lines with 6 gigs each for just 30 bucks a line. Plus everybody gets unlimited streaming from their favorite services. Dont wait get a free Samsung Galaxy for everyone. Get to tmobile because the galaxy free for all is only for a limited time. Only those who dare drive the world forward. Introducing the firstever cadillac ct6. Flo [ ghost voice ] oooo [ laughs ] jaaaaamie, the name your price tool can show you Coverage Options to fit your budget. Tell me something i dont know oh ohhh she slimed me. Which i probably shouldve seen coming. [ laughs ] with simply right checking from santander bank, just make one deposit, withdrawal, transfer, or payment each month to waive the monthly fee. And theres no minimum balance. Youre alright with simply right checking from santander bank. Are you feeling alright, baby . Welcome back to the show. David spade, ozzy and Jack Osbourne, and music from the strokes all coming. First, as you know, earlier tonight in primetime we had the bachelorette men tell all special but the telling september over. I happen to produce my own critically acclaimed bachelorette spinoff show starring children instead of adults. Grab a juice box, sit back in a little chair and relax as the boys tell all in the most revealing episode of the baby bachelorette yet. This season on the baby bachelorette. Biancas quest for true love introduced us to an amazing cast of characters. Some were fan favorites. Im captain america some were more controversial. Its my ex. He came back into my life. Im so humiliated. Others were just too short. Its hard being little. Tonight we hear from the boys. Jimmy tonight on the most shocking, dramatic boys tell all ever. Tensions rise and tales are tattled as our most controversial contestants in baby bachelorette history come together for the First Time Since bianca sent them home. While bianca continues her journey toward true love. Well hear from the men she left behind. About mistakes, regrets, and heartbreak. Fellas . Thanks for being brave enough to be here tonight. Im glad you are relaxed. Dylan, lets start with you. You made the boldest first impression. I have to ask you, why captain america . Um, because i was him yesterday. Jimmy you were captain america yesterday . Yes, so it was my turn to be spiderman jimmy today youre spiderman . Oh my goodness. Wow. He really is spiderman. Well. What prompted this change . What made you make this decision . I made the changes because i have i am spiderman jimmy because you are spiderman. How you doing . Ooth than ethan likes that. I want to move on to the most controversial departure of the season, eisley. Some viewers said it was unfair of you to lead bianca on. Ill ask you pointblank. Why did you come on the show if you already had a girlfriend . My girl and i werent exclusive. I needed to play the field. Jimmy well, thats not what this show is about. And i have to say i feel like you were here for the wrong reasons, right . Yeah . Dean, where is dean . Dean, hi. You mind if i i want to just yeah, put you over here. There you go. Dean, spiderman. Spiderman, dean. Dean, whats going on with you since you left the show . Has this been hard for you . Yeah. Jimmy did bianca break your heart . Yeah. Jimmy in how many pieces . Five. Jimmy five pieces . That is a lot of pieces. Do you think youll ever love again . It would be hard to trust another woman. Jimmy you know, dean, they say time heals all booboos and i think youre going to be just fine. Ill probably be single forever. Im spiderman youre not spiderman. Yes, i am. Jimmy well, we have a surprise reunion tonight. Someone america fell in love with just three short years ago. Please welcome the baby bachelor himself, wesley. And the winner of wesleys season, jesse. Guys, come on out. How are you doing, wesley . Have a seat on the couch. Wheres jesse . Oh, shes not here today. Jimmy why isnt she here . Because we grew apart. Jimmy was there an argument . Yep. Jimmy what did you have an argument about . Well jesse wanted to do one thing and i wanted to do a other thing. Jimmy you couldnt agree, come to a compromise . Yeah, uhhuh. May i ask, what was the one thing that you wanted to do that jesse didnt want to do . Go to the park. Jimmy she did not want to go to the park . Yeah. Jimmy where did she want to go . She wanted to go to the movies. Jimmy wow r. Im so sorry that happened. So are you still married . No. We just grew apart. And i respect jesse and i wish her nothing but the best. Jimmy thats very big of you. Do you have any regrets about the choice you made . I mean, you did choose jesse over gabby. Yes, i did. Jimmy you do . Uhhuh. Jimmy wesley, i have a surprise visitor for you tonight. Please welcome gabby. Gabby . Gabby, how are you . Very good to see you. Have a seat right there on the couch next to wesley. Wesley, say hello to gabby. Hi, gabby. Jimmy how long has it been since youve seen each other . A long, long time. Three years. Jimmy three years. Well, wesley told us just a moment ago that he still thinks about you and he still has feelings for you. Wesley, is there anything you would like to say to gabby . I think about you and what we had was special. And you have pretty hair. Jimmy aww. A lot of things have changed over three years. Jimmy what kind of things have happened . Ive lost my teeth. Jimmy uhhuh. I broke my arm. Jimmy oh i taught my sister a lot of curse words. Jimmy gabby, what do you think of that . Do you ever use curse words . No. Jimmy no. Well, thats very sweet. Wesley, anything youd like to ask gabby or say to her right now . Gabby . Will you marry me . I thought youd never ask. [ applause ] jimmy wesley . Did you bring a ring . Uh no. Jimmy you didnt bring a ring. Where the hell is neil lang . Isnt he supposed to bring rings out . Oh, well. Well get you a ring. And i am so happy for the both of you. Wow. What a wild ride this has been. Tune in next week as bianca makes her final decision. Will it be alex or manny who wins her heart . Next week well find out on the emotional Season Finale of the baby bachelorette. Congrats, guys. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy biancas amazing journey comes to an end next monday night. Tonight music from the strokes, ozzy and Jack Osbourne are here, and be right back with david spade [ cheers and applause ] americans, i dont understand you. Always working on vacation. Always multitasking. [baby crying] always busy making something. But what has all this ambition ever gotten you . That youre the greatest nation in the world . Where all your dreams come true . The galaxy note7 with s pen. Perfect for busy americans like us. [bark] do more, with the new galaxy note7. Hey, youre yes, sir. Clarence you know, at the model year end clarence event, you can get a great deal on this 2016 passat. Steve. Yeah . Clarence is on a roll. Yeah. I wish theyd name an event after me. Same here. But the model year end becky event . Thats no good. Stevent thats just vandalism. Whatever you want to call it, dont miss the volkswagen model year end event. Hurry in for a onethousand dollar volkswagen reward card and 0 apr on a new 2016 passat. Jimmy hi, there, welcome back to the show. Tonight, from the new fatherson travel show, ozzy and jacks world detour, which can be seen on history. Ozzy and Jack Osbourne are here. [ cheers and applause ] then, this is their album. Its called future present past. The strokes from the samsung stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, andy garcia will be here, jack huston will join us, and well have music from the gogos. And thursday, greg kinnear, dino archie, and dana white from the ufc. Join us then. Our first guest is an emmynominated actor and hollywood sex maggot who i mean magnet [ laughter ] [ applause ] anyway, hes got a show, its called fameless. It premieres monday night at 10 00 on trutv. Please say hello to david spade. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy sorry about that. Yeah. Jimmy that was not a freudian slip at all. You got all the other ones right. Hey, i was going to tell you that this little walk, i had dinner last night. Fivestar restaurant. Jimmy oh, congratulations. Congratulations. I like to throw that in. When the hostess walks you in, you might have this happen. First of all, all my friends think the hostesses are cute. We invented an app that tells you where the three hostesses are in the restaurant. Wheres the one with the brown hair . Table 26. Didnt sell. Jimmy thats good. That is really stalking. We went to apple on all of them. Jimmy didnt like it, huh . The hostess last night this is funny, youll hate it. I come in, i go to this place. She has to walk me but she wants to have a little chitter chat. Mr. Spade, thank you for coming. And how was your day . I go, i had a little bit of a health scare. She goes, here we are. Thats it . No followup . Just dead stop when she got to the table. Pivoted. But sometimes, like last night was really scary. Jimmy why . I was running out of batteries on my phone. Jimmy oh, yeah, my god. Have you ever had this happen . And everyones looking at me, whats wrong . I go, its almost 9. They go, 9 00 . No, 9 battery, ive got to get home and plug it in. They go the hostess goes, ill plug it in. Im like, uh you know the panic . I go like this. Well well are you going to go way over she takes it. Im like, aahhh jimmy what . Why . Because im terrified. Jimmy of what . Because im like a dog looking at the owner. Because she might find the 300 [ bleep ] pics. Jimmy oh, oh. That didnt make the cut. Jimmy thats a lot of them. Yeah. Those are the ones i didnt send because i couldnt get it right. By the way, im finding my wiener is not photogenic. [ laughter ] jimmy is that right . Yeah. I think its a new thing with younger people. But mine, whoof. Put my foot on a stool, get an aerial shot, i dont know how to do it. But what happened is i saw this girl goes, i get them all the time. Its like hello for guy news. Theyre like, hey. They lead with it. Used to come toward the end. Now its straight up. Jimmy well. Its this guy from his feet up, sort of like this. Im like, this i never would have thought of. Plus whos taking it . You know . Youve got to get your buddy and then thats worse than helping you move. You know . Hes like, im going to grab it like that, choke hold, you know . Knock off a few before dinner. I didnt think of that and i cant oh, i have a question, will you help me do something later . On the commercial . Jimmy i hope its move. [ laughter ] jimmy i need to ask you about this. Ive been wondering about it. This is so dumb, yeah. Jimmy youve been posting photographs of a parking this is a parking ticket that you got . Yeah, i got a ticket. And then i didnt think i deserved it. So i left it on my wind shield and said, ill show them. And i dont know who im showing. [ laughter ] its not the tickets not going away and the cops dont seem to mind. Now i just keep it on there in protest. Jimmy youve got to youre going into a hotel. Isnt that the hotel people are not supposed to go in . The Beverly Hills hotel . No, no, no. Jimmy its not . Okay. And this is the ticket was doing nothing on my windshield so i showed it around town. Jimmy uhhuh. Heres the ticket. Looking at my backyard. Jimmy relaxing by the pool. Is that your backyard . Yeah, look at that cool star trek floaty. Jimmy that is pretty great. Its a captains chair. Jimmy these are all your friends . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im sorry. I had a clear frame for the big photo shoot. Jimmy should i show this . Why did you get the ticket . Heres the ticket. No, because the meter was still blinking green. So i thought it was still good. Then they gave me a ticket. So i said, ill show them. Anyway. I dont know what to do now. I painted myself in a corner. Jimmy just pay the ticket is a good thing, maybe. Thats one idea. Jimmy thats a good idea. It bit me in the ass because i got a ticket jet skiing in arizona. I didnt know how that could even happen. Jimmy yeah. I had a cop and he was on a boat. I thought he wanted an autograph. He goes, come over here. I go, hey, who do i make it out to . He goes, you cant drive your jet ski and spray your friends with it. I go, what the [ bleep ] else do you do with a jet ski . Thats all a jet ski does. And he goes, no, you have to be 100 yards away from each other. I go, who wants to jet ski, then . So he goes, its so dangerous. So i get the ticket. I put it in the nose of the jet ski. And then later, naturally, im going too close and i hit my brother. Exactly predicted in what they said, its dangerous. Almost took his leg out. And his sank. Then mine, my ticket got wet, so i just go ah. And then theres a warrant out for my arrest. Jimmy no. It was on tv in arizona. Jimmy really . My mom goes, davey, turn yourself in [ laughter ] [ applause ] i go whats happening . Jimmy did you turn yourself in . Stay in my backyard i go, can i stay in your house . She said, theyll check the house. I went to some court in like a strip mall in arizona. Honestly, it was next to like jimmy johns and stuff. And then it was no one there in the middle of nowhere except me and a tmz guy. Jimmy oh, great, yeah. David at jimmy johns i went in and paid it. What did you eat at jimmy johns . Thats the better story. No, i paid it and the judge was like, we should all go jet skiing. He didnt care. Jimmy really, wow. How about that. You had a nice judge. The jet ski bandit is here, david spade. Be back with david. [ cheers and applause ] starbucks® cold brew coffee. Available in original black. And now with housemade vanilla sweet cream. Smooth meets sweet. In stores now. Only at starbucks. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. to dog give it. 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Go, go, go, go come on go, go whoa, hands up, hands up, hands up hey, hey, hey, hey hands up, hands up, hands up get down, get down, get down matthew, whats going on . Im on a Television Show what do you mean . This is all fake i dont know whats going on sure, yeah. Everyone says that, man. Everyone says that theyre on a Television Show . Jimmy thats david spades show, fameless. Starts monday on trutv. This is a prank show. Its a prank show. Jimmy tell about the actual people you play the pranks on. The people that play the pranks have been prepped to be in a reality show. Jimmy theyre people that want to be on they really want they have to go through a psych evaluation and everything. I dont know if you know this. You see the bachelor, some of them obviously didnt pass. Jimmy right. But theyre all ready to go through testing, i want to be famous, i want to be on any show. So we make up a fake because theres a line of people who cant get on any. We make one up, like blind blind date. Sounds like a real show. Whats in your mouth, a food show. We make up stuff. So that ones like a prison its a reality show about jail. This guy gets theres a breakout, he gets grabbed by the criminal. So then you tell him. Then everyone its so funny because i get cringy when i do them. Jimmy you do . Because i do them sometimes. Try to help and im horrible at it. They dont want me to do them anymore. Because i get scared. We did one where this guys im judging the music, like x factor. Theyre telling me in the earpiece hes bad. I tell him hes bad and hes so nice, then he goes, what do you know . I go, huh . Hes like, youre a comedy guy, you dont know music. Im like, no, i know talent. Then he goes, you ruined saturday night live what . Then he left. No, get him back here. Tell him its a joke and he wouldnt come back. So horrible. Jimmy whos the prank on then, i guess, huh . Me, i guess. Jimmy you. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy you have been named roast master of the Comedy Central roast of rob lowe. Rob lowe coming up, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy have you done roasts before . I have not and im scared of them. I see them and i sort of maybe an o. G. Roaster from the saturday night live days. Jimmy oh, yeah. True, yeah. But its hard to think of the robs a supercool guy, hes a friend. Obviously goodlooking. Hes like 7. Jimmy yeah. It will be fun. Hes got a lot of sordid things in his past. Well find something. Jimmy youve got to show that video. For one thing. That would be a great way to start. Go right at it. Reenact the video. Thats a tough one to get by these days. Jimmy its a different world now. True. Jimmy you and i will be in montreal this weekend, canada. Oh, yeah, were going there. Jimmy judges on jeff ross roast battle show. That will be good prep. Yeah, get to watch it, im not part of it. Jimmy youre not . Im judging. Were not going to get the shrapnel, i dont think. I hope. Jimmy well. Youve got shrapnel from your own reality show. I sort of catch it. That will be super fun. I got that, i got twitter. Things are clicking. [ laughter ] jimmy david spade, everybody. The season premiere of fameless airs next monday on trutv. Well be right back with ozzy and Jack Osbourne. [ cheers and applause ] their bums. What . laughs laughs what does cleanripple texture do . Catches all the stuff that you want to get out. This is really nice. This one is, like, it goes the extra step. It gets it all clean. How does being clean feel . Kind of sassy. Uh, breezy. Hands up. Weeeeeee. My bum is saying, thank you very much. Cleanripple texture is designed to clean better. Go cottonelle, go commando. From the makers of pepsi cola. Im gonna smell it. Im just gonna take one small sip. Kinda seemed like more than a sip. 1893. Bloldly blended colas. 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Isnt Major Medical enough . No whos gonna help cover the holes in their plans . Aflac like rising copays and deductibles. Aflac or help pay the mortgage . Or child care . Aflaaac and everyday expenses . Aflac learn about one day pay at aflac. Com boat blurlbrlblrlbr the freshest foodhing and low acme prices. And right now you can save even more during our 125th anniversary sale. Happy anniversary to me. Stock up during our mega event get gatorade, 32ounce bottles, for only 69 cents each when you buy 6. And pick up quaker cereal, breakfast bars and oatmeal for just 1. 49 each when you buy 6. Acmes 125th anniversary sale. Its huge jimmy hi, there. Still to come, music from the strokes. Our next guests are one half of the family who more or less invented reality tv. They have a new travel show called ozzy and jacks world detour. Watch it sunday nights on history. Please welcome ozzy and Jack Osbourne. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i forget. Nobody smells better than ozzy osbourne. You always smell great when you come out here. Its my perspiration. Jimmy remarkable for a rock star. Good smell. Jimmy ozzy, i know you love history. Who decided to do this travel show . Jack, you decided . It was a conversation i had with a fellow producer. And any time anyone asks me, oh, will your dad do tv . No, hes a musician, he doesnt want to do tv, those days are over. And i forgot about it. Six weeks later im in the car with my dad. Hey, do you want to do a history show . He was like, yeah, ill do that. I was like, oh i guess i have to go back, call them back. Jimmy you love history. Well, 20th century. In england when i was younger, when i was a boy in 1948, we were still in the war. Jimmy right. It was inbred into where we lived, you know. I was always interested in the war with germany and the war with japan. Jimmy i remember speaking to you about that, about you just sit there and watched what was on the history channel, youd watch these old newsreels. I love it. Something that was big in those days as well. Youll win jimmy you guys now go to sites where historical events occurred it was like jacks bucket list. It was mutual bucket listing. Jimmy what are some of the places on your mutual bucket lists . We went to rushmore. We went brought him back to the alamo. Jimmy for those who are familiar with ozzy lore i didnt pee on it after all. Jimmy you found out you didnt pee on it . I was wearing a dress. Jimmy what happened there, what was the story . Without giving too much away, urination was involved. Public intoxication was involved. And the donning of womens garments were involved. Jimmy you were ozzy banned from the alamo . For about 20 years. Jimmy for about 20 years. Yeah. I remember some mexican guy saying to me, i dont know what the problem is, we pee on that wall every night. Jimmy and so did they welcome you with open arms . No. Let me tell you the story. Jack is going to be a lunatic asylum. The guys from the show, theyve got 75 people there. Well go, wait and see. No, no, youre overreacting. We get there. Sure enough. There must have been 1,000 people there. Jimmy oh, no. Angry . It was all very positive. Jimmy i see. Positive for you. A guy with a noose, a rope. Welcome back, ozzy well finish you off now jimmy jack, you do all the driving. Yes, i do. Jimmy i was thinking about it. Ive driven with my father, i think the only time i ever drove the car was when i took him to the hospital, he hurt his foot. Are you comfortable with jack behind the wheel . Love it, better than me. Jimmy okay, so youre not everyone is comfortable without him behind the wheel. [ laughter ] i got a driving license when i first passed my test, a ferrari. Went out and got drunk and the ferrari disappeared for some reason. [ laughter ] jimmy the ferrari is gone. The ferrari is gone. Jimmy you do all the driving . I do. He has a good excuse. Whenever im like, hey, drive. Hes like, im a rock god, i dont drive. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats a good excuse. You guys went to nasa is one of the places . That was great. Awesome. Jimmy you liked that one . Them space suits are not comfortable. Jimmy you got in the space suit . Your nuts are being pushed to the back of your neck. Jimmy really. And did you work with yeah they gave us like the fullon tour of the Johnson Space center. I have to ask the question. Do they have alcohol and sex in space . No what a boring place to go. Jimmy theres no alcohol in space . No alcohol. No sex, no alcohol. Whats left . Space. Jimmy just space, i guess. What was your favorite of all the spots you went to . Oh, jacks has got to be i loved going to roswell. I have a super special we drove to the crash site. It was just a flat field. Jimmy yeah. I go jacks like, hallelujah jimmy are you really interested in ufos . Bigtime. Im a tinfoil hatwearing lunatic. Jimmy have you ever seen a ufo . Ive seen them in my crazy days, seen lots of ufos. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy when youre driving, i assume youve got directions . I remember, i cant imagine you navigating as i recall you losing your way around your own house. But those are the crazy days. Jimmy right, those are the crazy days. Now he has ways for the house. Jimmy its great to have you guys here. [ cheers and applause ] ozzy and jacks world detour sunday nights, 10 00 on history. Thank you, gentlemen. Be right back with the strokes [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. Jimmy id like to thank david spade, ozzy and Jack Osbourne and apologize to matt damon. We ran out of time. Nightline is next, but first, their ep is called future present past, here with the song threat of joy, the strokes okay i see how it is now you dont have time to play with me anymore thats how it goes i guess [ bleep ] the rest be right there honey im gonna take my time to say take my time today im gonna take what comes my way take what they give me yeah i want my money now but he is not around you better hold my money safe whats your emergency and for the first time in my life im gonna get my self right just get into trouble be there on the double i place your bets this time just has to let it ride i tried to take a roll but the dice are on parole i wont look down your dress i bet you bend down as a test i cannot wait to chase it all yeah i saw it in my crystal ball friday night the shining light the secret for a spy i got a better idea ill bet you on the side when i get up in your face you know its no surprise ah baby why is it so hard to read the sentence in my eyes and for the fourth time chains changing your look i spent a while then decided on you my baby doll you ignored your life well do it together ill be there whenever oh you took a minute break and said thumbs up theyre okay im gonna watch the tidal wave its hard to chase away ohh ohh ohh ohh [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, thrill turned tragedy. A 10yearold boy dead after a trip down the worlds tallest water slide. The mother was screaming, hes not moving, thats my boy. And tonight as three girls are injured on a ferris wheel, the question, are thrill rides becoming too dangerous . Plus sizzling serves, thrusting saves, attempts to make good on some brash predictions. We dont go into this competition expecting anything but greatness. Were with the mens Gymnastics Team as they practice for rio going for gold. The new normal. Cell phones in high rises. A rare look at life in pyongyang, north korea. Is the hermit kingdom coming out of its shell . Tures the