Have in our audience . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were hoping to get the olympics here, the summer olympics in 2024. Even though thats eight years ago i think were already better prepared than rio is for the olympics that start on august 5th. Theyre not earning a gold medal for preparation so far. In fact, the governor yesterday the governor of rio said the olympics there could be a big failure. Besides the zika virus, which is enough onnist own, the train system there, its not scheduled to be completed until four days before the games begin. And this is what people saw as they arrived at the airport in rio yesterday. Welcome to hell. Police and firefighters dont get paid, whoever comes to rio will not be safe. Well, as far as signs go, that is literally a bad sign. [ laughter ] meanwhile, former olympic Gold Medalist caitlyn jenner, not not only is kaitlin the first transgender to be on the cover of si, also the first sequinned person on the cover. Life that issue. Isnt that a little strange to put her on the where are they now issue . Everywhere is where they are now. Should have saved her for who are they now . [ cheers and applause ] its tricky for journalists to write about caitlyn jenner, because she was a 65yearold man, now shes a 2yearold woman. Shes a toddler with a gold medal which is impressive. Here in l. A. We do have a working rail system, the metro, which happens to be getting a lot of attention nationally because of a new Safety Campaign that appears to have been directed by quentin tair tino. Its a Beautiful Day in safetiville and joan is catching up on her friends posts as she heads to school. Joan this time your phone obsession has really crossed the line. Joans friends arent going to like this picture. Pay attention and always stay behind the yellow line. Jimmy what about the guy who just steps over joans body to get into the train . I dont know. [ cheers and applause ] i know the idea, safety is important. But to me that just says, dont ride the train, call an uber. Uber by the way, i dont know if you saw this is launching a new service in china called uber plus travel that will allow people to book boat rides and hot air balloons on demand. What kind of a person needs a hot air balloon on demand . Unless youre the bachelor or the wizard of oz, you dont. But if youve ever dreamed of being trapped in a basket in the sky while a changer dressed in drakar tells you about his day, that dream is about to come true in china thanks to uber. [ cheers and applause ] barnes noble, the bookstore, has not been doing great. They have a new plan to attract customers. Theyre planning to open four bookstores next year that serve beer and wine in the store. They hope that offering alcohol will encourage more people to come in. To me this is clearly a barnes idea, noble would never be involved in this. But thanks to amazon, drunk shopping for books is now the norm. So they have to do something to bring in more customers. Theyre even changing their signs from now on theyll just be called this. They say just do away with the books, they might have something. You know, we are always on the lookout on this program for notable moments on television. And with that said id like to congratulate the team at local cbs in jacksonville, specifically anchor john bachmann, for providing us with tonights edition of excellence in reporting. New at 6 00, an orlando man is in jail accused of punching a swan in front of two offduty officers. The officers say over the weekend they were at lake eola with 56yearold jimmy oops. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you try to make the workplace fun and you get burned for it. He should definitely apologize to the family of the swan. The investigation into Hillary Clintons emails seems to never end. These emails are like transformers movies. Just when you get sick about hearing one, another batch comes out. Yesterday 165 pages of emails from clintons time as secretary of state were released. Turns out theyre just as boring as the other 55,000 pages of emails. We arent interested in reading Hillary Clintons work emails. We want to read her emails with will. Those are the ones that interest us. [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, hillarys former friend and current arch nemesis donald trump has hired a new communications director. A gentleman named jason miller. Which is interesting because miller worked for ted cruz and when he did work for ted cruz he tweeted this. Sleazydonald. And this. Donald trump is the karl lewis of flipflopping, ive literally never seen anyone move with such speed. Also this, unbelievable watching trump on cnn, tell trump to be classy. Trump described avoiding vd his own vietnam, sleazy donald. He coined the phrase sleazy donald. Maybe thats what attracted him . A man who can write a hash tag like that can be on my team any day. Donald loves this. Trump said Elizabeth Warren is a racist and a total fraud because she once claimed to be part native american. She didnt have any evidence of that other than that one time in college she and four friends went to a party dressed as the village people. But so trump now likes to call senator Warren Pocahontas and goofy. He ran out of nicknames so hes just using disney characters now. Its weird to call someone a racist and then call them pocahontas in the same sentence. But you know what they say, sometimes you have to fight racism with racism. Of course donald trump is very sensitive to racism because he himself is of a color that does not typically occur in nature. So he lashes out. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] tonight we combed through a treasure trove of trash talk to bring you this delightfully disparaging montage. Im not a fan of megyn kelly, i think shes a thirdrate reporter. This dopey guy glenn beck. Jeb bush, we call him low energy. Lying hillary. She is a liar. Dont worry about it, little marco. Lying ted cruz. Crooked hillary. Crazy bernie. Hes crazy as a bedbug. Pocahontas Elizabeth Warren. Shes the worst. Mitt romney is a stiff. And he walks like a penguin. Hillary clinton is a disaster. This wacky socialist guy bernie. Hes an ignorant president. The total incompetent jerk. Hes a sleaze, my book. Shes a basket case. His face is just terrible. The biggest ears ive seen. Shes got a big mouth. A joke artist. This guys a liar. Hes a bad person, folks. Shes a nasty person. Hes a nasty guy. Nobody likes him. He looks like a jerk. Child molester. She said hes a [ bleep ]. Shes a goofus. Little mouth on him. Bing, bing, bing. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Jimmy there you go, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. [ cheers and applause ] he loves to insult. Here now to sing about that, back by popular demand, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the trumpaloompas. Trumpaloompa if you are wise youll listen to me what do you get when you copy four names stirring up patriots and fanning up flames crooked and crazy and dummy and pig there are others so you feel big why you gotta hate trumpaloompa if you elect me you will go far you will live in happiness too like the trumpaloopa [ cheers and applause ] youre fired jimmy thank you. Well done. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the trupaloompas, everybody when we come back, we make trouble at ufc events so stick around [ cheers and applause ] what are you doing . Sara, i love you, and. [phone rings] ah, its my brother. Keep going. Sara, will you marry. [phone rings again] what do you want, todd . . . . [crowd cheering] keep it going if you sit on your phone, you buttdial people. Its what you do. Todd if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. Its what you do. I know we just met like, two months ago. 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This scene will never make the cut. male offscreen announcer whats it feel like to win the mustang instant game, with top prizes of a hundred grand or a new ford mustang . woman oh my goodness. Woo male offscreen announcer with instant games from the pennsylvania lottery, the instant you play could be the instant you win. Keep on scratchin. Jimmy still to come, Margot Robbie, flo rida with jason derulo. Nicely done. Tell our regular drummer jonathan that hes fired. Those fans of the ufc know theres a pay per vent july 9th in las vegas, ufc 200, it promises to be one of the biggest ufc events ever. The last one, ufc 199, was in l. A. At the forum in inglewood. We decided to make mma mischief. We sent our politically correct Community Activists jack and becky to the forum with a petition to ban punching and kicking from the ufc. Heres how that went off with the fans and fighters too. Tlc, not ufc tlc, not ufc tlc, not ufc were thinking that we should take out all punching and kicking from the sport altogether. Punching, illegal. Kicking, illegal. The petition is just to remove the kicking and the punching from the sport. I cant do that. Why not . I enjoy the kicking very much. What about the punching . Just sign for the punching, then. Just sign for the punching. Yeah, there you go. For this one ill just there you go. Poop sex . It says poop sex. What is poop sex . Is that something youre into . I can hold your hot dog for you. Okay. If you want to just sign though really quickly is this the ring . So another kid beat up your kid and youre accusing the ufc because of that . Were not accusing the ufc, we know that the ufc that he saw it and he learned the punches and kicks from that. Sir have you ever been in a fight . A couple. Yeah . Yeah, fighting at the ufc. Uhhuh. Okay, okay, okay yall are crazy, you know that . Youre bat [ bleep ] crazy. I would make the argument its crazy to savagely beat another human being. If you delete the punching and the kicking perhaps somebody maybe not overly athletic could compete im very athletic. I play hacky sack. He uses these muscles in a drum circle. Okay, okay. I feel like youre bad parents what . You come in here, preaching to people, when deep inside youre wicked and evil and now youre just trying to deflect it from you by criticizing people like myself. Thats how i feel. Am i allowed to feel like that . Are we going to start a petition against my feelings . Id just like to grab your feelings. Id like to start a petition. I just like that youre having feelings. Do away with violent moves such as punching and kicking, how do you feel about that . Sure, just talk to dana white, im sure hed love that. Whos that . Well talk to her. Yeah, talk to her, shes beautiful. Has a shiny head. Okay. A bit of a belly at the moment. Thats a rude thing to say about a woman. I understand youre the president. I am. We wrote a letter that we wanted to read to you about what we think should happen in the sport. Is that all right . All right, sure. Dear madam president , as a female in a maledominated industry, you are acutely aware of the struggle against adversity. We ask that you enact new rules and regulations for your sport wherein the use of kicking and punching are no longer legal. In doing this, maam, you would help so many other parents with their parenting duty, from male fathers to female mothers like you. Thank you, from jack and becky. What do you think . I think thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard in my life. Madam president dana, if youd just say in the camera were going to get rid of the kicking and punching. Were going to get rid of all the hippies who try to protest outside thats not really getting rid of the punching and kicking and replacing it with hugging. Im a hugger. I could get busy in a hug. Can you take your shirt off . And well do another hug. You take your shirt off, ill take my shirt off. Take your shirts off jack, take your shirt off. Okay, great. Are you happy . Im extremely im so happy. This is great, this is great. Oh, boy. Yeah. I was just going to show him to the dressing room. You can do whatever the [ bleep ] you want. Jack i just have to find my husband, im sorry. Jack jack whats that . Have him take his shirt off . It was for the cause. It was for the cause. Its not a cause to embarrass me in front of these people. Youre hugging with luke rockholt jack dont just say that jack i swear to god, get back here youre violent. Im not violent luke rockholt changed you. Tlc, not ufc [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, jack and becky. Tonight on the show, music from flo rida with jason derulo. Jim jeffries is here. Well be right back with Margot Robbie so stick around compute, wait, wait. What are we running after . My stupid, old computer. Well if its so old, why are you chasing it . Is it slow . Weigh a ton . Yeah. Well you know. I know. Todays pcs are faster and lighter, i know. So why are we still running . I dont know. You know about it. Now do something about it. Upgrade to a new pc. Oh, charley horse, charley horse. Call for help, call for help. Help, help when you can take your hands off the wheel to get out of a tight spot. When you can relax with your foot off the brake and stay put. And when you enjoy 400 horsepower thats both smooth and controlled. Thats the more human side of engineering. This is the lincoln summer invitation, hurry in now to your dealer for limited time offers lease an mkx for 349 a month or get 0 apr for 60 months and Just Announced 1,000 summer invitation bonus. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. to dog give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh to dog im so proud of you. Well thank you. Get your free credit scorecard at discover. Com. Even if youre not a customer. Officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. Woo hoo over you to you tom things have gone totally around the bend. Has the world gone completely bold . New doritos mix. Four snacks in one. When you can take your hands off the wheel to get out of a tight spot. When you can relax with your foot off the brake and stay put. And when you enjoy 400 horsepower thats both smooth and controlled. Thats the more human side of engineering. This is the lincoln summer invitation, hurry in now to your dealer for limited time offers lease an mkc for 289 a month or get 0 apr for 60 months and Just Announced 1,000 summer invitation bonus. Jimmy hi, gang. Tonight, hes got a new standup comedy special called, Jim Jefferies freedumb. It will be streamable on netflix starting friday. Jim jeffries is here with us. Then, his new single is called, hello friday. Flo rida with jason derulo from the samsung stage. You can see flo rida this september at the how do i say this the kaaboo festival. I dont know. Its in del mar, california. Look it up. Kaaboo. What the hell is that . Okay, thanks. Guillermo, what the hell is it . Cabo. Jimmy no, thats a place in mexico. Different one . I dont know. Jimmy you dont know, all right. Tomorrow night, from mike and dave need wedding dates, zac efron and adam devine, from the new show vice principals, walton goggins, and music from melanie martinez. And on thursday, cristoph waltz and Danielle Brooks and maxwell too. Our first guest is a talented woman from australia who burst onto the Silver Screen with the force of a thousand boomerangs and a million kangaroos. The legend of tarzan opens in theaters and imax friday. Please welcome Margot Robbie. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . I love being here. Jimmy its good to see you. Are you wearing pajamas . Or is this a new thing . I thought id dress like your audience at home. Its so comfy, honestly. Ive got my teeth brushed, im going to go straight to bed. Jimmy really, thats nice. Take off the shoes. Im just going to get settled. Jimmy you can do whatever you want. I mean, literally anything you want. You could take these couches home if you want to. Can i . I need a new couch. Jimmy by the way, i know its your birthday this weekend. Happy birthday. [ cheers and applause ] it is. Jimmy you celebrate . You have a big party for your birthday . Yeah, im turning 26. And yeah, so were going to have like a little hawaiian luau. Why the hell not . Jimmy why not, a hawaiian luau. Will you have a roasted pig . Were hoping to, yeah. Go allout. Jimmy youre hoping to . Coconut bras and grass skirts for the boys. Jimmy do you always have big parties for your birthday . For my 24th two years ago, and ive been planning this since i was 16. I heard of a friend having a 24hour party when they turned 24. I remember being, i cant wait to be 24, this is going to be the best idea ever i had a 24hour party on my 24th birthday. Jimmy its that long, 24 hours long . Yeah. Jimmy what time does it start . I imagine what its like to do a marathon. But in the drinking realm. Jimmy the jerry lewis telethon or Something Like that. It starts at what time . We started at 9 00 a. M. Jimmy you go do dennys for the breakfast that you get for free . Were in a courtyard, a champagne breakfast, actually really nice. We broke it up with costume changes so everyone could keep going. Jimmy be clean. What were the costumes . We started with western themes. A lot of cowboys running around. We had champagne, breakfast in the coat yard. Then we went to hyde park in london, running around there playing games. Then we need the sustenance so we went to five guys jimmy the burger place . Yeah, yeah, burgers. Because it was my birthday and i love burgers. Costume change number two. And next place was under the sea theme. Theres this wicked karaoke bar in london called banga banga and its got a bar next to it cocoa banana, which is kind of like banga banga. Sorry, irrelevant information. We were there jimmy it went to 9 00 the next morning . It did. It ended up at far more at progressively filthier and fittier bars. 9 00 a. M. , full circle. Ended up back in our courtyard, popped another bottle of champagne. Jimmy that sounds like so much fun, also terrible at the same time. Exhausting. Absolutely exhausting. Jimmy at any point rewarding when you make it to the finish line, we did it, we did it. Jimmy did you consider those people who made it to the finish line your best friends . Best friends in the world. Jimmy the ones who can hang. Everyone else jimmy whats your karaoke song of choice at a place like banana banga i mix it up. I know your audience. I feel the mood of the crowd. Maybe total eclipse of the heart. Jimmy classic. Bon jovi is more appropriate at other times. Jimmy did you have 25 hours for your 25th birthday . I was on set for suicide squad. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so no party at all. Not a bad place to have your birthday for sure. It just so happened the day we were shooting, what we were shooting that day was the scene where im getting dressed into my harley costume. So i was really worried about like, you know, having to be taking a top on and off. Jimmy in your birthday suit on your birthday. In my birthday suit on my birthday. At lunchtime they surprised me with this ginormous cake. And i was like, im holding out until i get this scene over and done with, im trying not to eat badly until this scenes done. So i wait. They kept pushing the scene until 6 00 at night and i was like, you know what . The scenes not happening today, im going to eat this whole damn cake right now. I ate the cake, we sat there and ate it, yeah, the best birthday ever. Then theyre like, ready for you on set. And i was like, i just ate a whole cake. Jimmy do you feel like the pounds how fast does it turn into something . Well, i mean, i was obviously selfconscious. I was like, they can see the cake in my stomach, oh, god. Jimmy that will be a fun easter egg for people to look for. When is that movie out, suicide squad . 5th of august. I hope im not getting this wrong. Tarzan comes out 1st of july. Jimmy you play jane. I had my birthday on set of tarzan too. The 24hour party was that week. Jimmy you should be older than you are with all these birthdays youre having. Unbelievable. When we come back well look at a clip from tarzan. Cool. Jimmy Margot Robbie, the legend of tarzan opens friday. Be right back [ cheers and applause ] as a satisfied client, quicken loans has asked me to show you just how easy it is to secure financing for a dwelling like this. We need only answer a few quick and simple questions. Name. Address. Income and employment history. 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I need you to scream for me. Like a damsel . No matter. Hes tarzan, youre jane. Hell come for you. Jimmy hes right. Cristoph waltz is right. [ cheers and applause ] the legend of tarzan opens friday in theaters and imax. Margot robbie is here. Did you actually spit in cristoph waltzs face . I did. That was not cgi. Jimmy you asked beforehand, is it okay . Fy spit in your face . I did because i its a weirdly intimate thing to do. Jimmy spit in another persons face . Bodily fluids. Yeah, so i just checked. Are you comfortable if i actually spit . He was like, no, no. He was really cool. [ bleep ], i dont care. Jimmy he didnt care at all . Yeah. Jimmy how many times did you spit in his face . We did a lot of takes. At least ten times. Every time i was like, is this still okay . Because i really dont have to. Jimmy now when you see him do you continue to spit in his face . Yes, its how we greet each other. Jimmy hes going to be here on thursday. You could pop up from behind the couch and hock a loogie. That would not no. Jimmy i dont know all the acting rules. This director of the film, david yates, directed a number of the harry potter movies. He did, which was highly exciting for a Massive Harry Potter fan. Jimmy you love harry potter. I do. [ cheers and applause ] who wouldnt . Jimmy one of your friends, maybe one of your 24hour friends, sent us a photograph to share with the audience. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy when was this taken . I dont think i even recognize you. Literally the most embarrassing photo of my whole life. Jimmy yeah. That was sofia who sent that. Jimmy i think it probably was. I think that was my 13th birthday. Jimmy a big birthday theme. Im drinking a cup of tea, im in bed, im clearly really enjoying myself reading harry potter. Jimmy you are. I have braces which i had for two years. I was really into slicking my hair back, god knows why. And i am wearing glasses which i didnt actually need. I have 20 20 vision. And i lied to get glasses. Jimmy really . Why . To look like harry potter. [ applause ] jimmy they were prescription glasses . Not even cool ones, theyre ugly glasses. Jimmy the harry potter glasses. I went to the optometrist, i cant see that, oh, my eyes. My moms like, do you really need glasses . Yes, i do jimmy well, happy birthday and congratulations on the movie. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its called the legend of tarzan. Opens friday in theaters and imax. Margot robbie, everybody well be right back with Jim Jefferies. [ cheers and applause ] the ford freedom sales event is on with our best offers of the year im free to do what i want. And 0 financing is back on a huge selection of ford cars, trucks and suvs. Plus get an extra 1000 smart bonus on specially tagged vehicles. Thats freedom from interest. And freedom to choose with ford. Americas best selling brand. Im free, baby now get 0 financing plus a 1000 smart bonus cash on specially tagged vehicles. 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The most common side effects are nausea, constipation and vomiting. Trintellix did not have Significant Impact on weight. Ask your healthcare professional if trintellix could make a difference for you. Introducing tmobiles most epic deal ever get a free Samsung Galaxy for each line after 24 month finance agreement and get 4 lines with 6 gigs each. For just 30 bucks a line. Plus now everybody gets unlimited streaming from their favorite services. Dont wait get a free galaxy smartphone and 6 gigs per line for just 30 bucks a line. Hurry to tmobile now for our most epic deal ever. Jimmy we are back. Still to come, music from flo rida with jason derulo. Our next guest tonight is another australian. Its an infestation, really. He is a very funny comedian, writer and actor with a new standup special called jim jeffries freedumb, spelled dumb. It premieres friday on netflix. Please say hello to jim jeffries. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Is this an australian thing . Its not as attract whiff an ugly person does it. Jimmy no, youre not an ugly person, dont say that about yourself. Im all right. But ive been better. Jimmy do you know margo . Is it stupid to ask . No, we dont all know each other. Plus im 10 years older than her. Its not like shed accept a date from me. Jimmy i thought maybe there was an australian Famous People Club that you might be part of. No. Well, there is a club but im not part of it. Jimmy how are you doing . Hows everything . Im all right. Ive got a new special coming out. Jimmy how many have you done for netflix . Two for netflix. This is my fifth one in america in the last seven years. Jimmy very, very funny. Thank you. Jimmy this is something you work a long time i work a lot to put the material together. Before each special, i lose like 20 pounds. Jimmy actual lose i lose 20 pounds. Im fat again now, i gain the weight back afterwards. But before the special, i lose like rapidly, lose the weight. Because i want to look good on camera, which is a stupid idea because then after i like air the special, people see me and see me live, i walk out, theyre so disappointed. What i should do is get super fat for the special. Jimmy yes. Then slim down afterwards. When i come out, oh, hes doing good again [ applause ] jimmy youre serious about this weight thing. Yeah. Jimmy you have an app or Something Like that . I have an app where i put my weight in every single day so i can see how my lifes going. I never cheat. Ive lost like three pounds before i came theres my app. Jimmy this is the chart. This is the real chart. 211 11. 4 hold on. Can anyone tell the moment i recorded my special . Jimmy right there. For real. Then as soon as i got two days i got drunk, then i lost weight, then went on tour, that was horrible. I came back, then i went to israel. Then i came back again, i went to vegas. Now im here, jimmy. Jimmy all right. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy youre at 211. Come back in a year. Are you trying to get enough steps in for your walks or Something Like that . I have a fit bit, yeah. Jimmy i would think so. Youve been in l. A. , in l. A. You have to stay in shape or else youre ostracized. Im trying to be an actor. But i dont im not good. Im not a bad comedian but jimmy thats never stopped a lot of people. Ill tell you a story. So i was i got booked to do a Birthday Party for a very famous person in the hollywood hills, i cant say who it is, i signed a contract. It was a dinner party. It was like 30 people. At this party there was like eddie murphy, al pacino, Warren Beatty, Leonardo Dicaprio. And i went and performed standing outside, just in bare feet. All these people in these houses where you have to take your shoes off because their floors are so precious, right . The gig jimmy you performed with no shoes on . No shoes or a microphone. Jimmy oh, thats terrible. The difference between a drunk guy and a comedian is a microphone. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] otherwise its a guy giving opinions. So im performing in this garden in front of all these famous people. Afterwards i was with my manager alex whos backstage. We were standing around. I said, i want to meet some people. And Warren Beatty and al pacino came up. They had a few drinks. They walk up. Im going to do an impression jimmy to you . Yeah, to talk to me. Meeting al pacino was the greatest moment of my life. Maybe the nicest men ive ever met. And ive met seven, eight men. Right . He came up and he just im terrible at impersonations. He goes, i like you. You tell a story, i think your storys about to end, like its withering away, and then you come back to the story its very good and i was like, thank you, thank you very much. He goes, youre like Rodney Dangerfield im nothing like Rodney Dangerfield. But i said, a lot of people say that, mr. Pacino, thank you. And then he kept talking. He just complimented me. Im not kidding. 15, 20 minutes. Jimmy wow. At the 15minute mark he said, am i talking too much . Am i talking to you, am i saying too many things, am i talking too much . And i said, mr. Pacino, this is the greatest moment of my life, keep talking till i [ bleep ]. All right . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so he continued. Not to completion. Jimmy did al have his shoes off . Al had his shoes off, barefoot as well. Jimmy Warren Beatty . No shoes either. Jimmy wow, okay. Talking, talking. And halfway through he comes to me, do you act . And i said, well, ive done a bit of acting but i would never say to al pacino that i act. Im a standup comedian. He goes, no. Youre going to be a great actor. I can tell. Youre going to be a great actor. And i was like, oh, really. And he went, no, [ bleep ] it. Dont act actings for idiots like me and him he points at Warren Beatty. Warren beatty hadnt been in the conversation for 10 minutes and he goes, what, what . Why am i an idiot . Then he goes, idiots like me and him youre better than us jimmy wow. Youre better you tell stories youre a director youre a director and i went, all right. Then he went, say it jimmy oh, no. And i was, excuse me . Say youre a director tell me so i went im a director. Say it again and i went, im a director. He goes, with passion now so i got the pacino fever. Right . I just yelled out, im a director everyone at the Party Started looking at me. Stopped talking and looked at me. I looked at Leonardo Dicaprio and went, i dont know. Jimmy wow. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy is there a followup . I yell out, im a director then Warren Beatty, who was talking to a woman, he rejoins the conversation after me yelling it. He leans in, he goes, what do you direct . And my brain, rather than telling the truth, went straight to lying. And i went, i got a few projects in the works. No projects. Jimmy no projects, yeah. Im not a director. I cant get an acting job let alone a directing gig, right . I went, i got some projects in the mix. He goes, how can we stay in touch . And i just went, pff im going to be honest, im a bit of a drinker. If you give me your phone number ill just ring some girl and try to impress her at 2 00 in the morning and thats not going to work out for either of us. Im talking my way out of it. My manager leans in and he goes, well stay in touch. They swap numbers. You know these hollywood people. Theyre here to meet, connect, all that type of stuff. So i thought that was the end of it. Oh, one other thing, i was leaving the party. One of those parties where they have a golf cart take you valet drops your car off and a golf cart takes you back to the house. I had to get a golf cart back. And i rode in the golf cart with al pacino. If you ever get the chance . Its like watching a sketch of al pacino in a golf cart. Hes going down the hill. Oh, its bumpy oh, oh oh, i gotta get my car jimmy what a night this was. Yeah fantastic. Anyway. Cut to this only three weeks ago. Like the party happened six months ago but three weeks ago im at my managers office, sitting and talking about like, you know. Me coming here, losing weight. And i said at the end of the meeting, i said, so. Did we ever stay in touch with Warren Beatty . And his eyes lit up and he went, lets call him. And we rang up Warren Beatty. And we were all nervous. My manager, he takes care of comedians, he was nervous as well. Speakerphone. All right, were calling Warren Beatty. This woman answers the phone. It wasnt Annette Bening but somebody who sounded like shed been with him for 60 years or something. She was like, hello . My manager goes, im alex mary, i represent jim jeffries. Him and warren hit it off at a party, warren said to stay in touch, so were staying in touch. And she went, wait here. Then she put the phone down but she didnt put it on hold. So we could hear the whole conversation. Jimmy oh, what happened . She walks over to warren and she goes, jim jeffries. He goes, i dont know jim jeffries. You met him at a party with eddie murphy and al pacino . He goes, i dont remember that party. Then he goes, get rid of him. All right so im like, whats she going to say . Right . Im all right with it, Warren Beatty not wanting to be friends with me. Jimmy right. But like ive been fobbed off in this business. Ive had people say were going to call you back, theyre in a meeting, all those type of things. But she just picked up the phone and goes, mr. Beatty would like to thank you for your call. Then she hung up. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. Love in hollywood. Thats a great story. Jim jeffries, everybody. Freedumb is available to stream on netflix friday. Thank you, jim. When we get back, flo rida and jason derulo [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. When youre the parent of a disabled child, you realize that the world can be a harsh place. But you also realize it can be a really loving, wonderful place. When i saw donald trump mock somebody who was disabled, i was appalled. You gotta see this guy. Ahh, i dont know what i said, ahh, i dont remember that reporter suffers from a chronic condition that impairs movement of his arms. It told me everything i need to know about his heart and what he believes deep down. Priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. Jimmy id like to thank my Margot Robbie, Jim Jefferies and apologize to matt damon. We ran out of time. Nightline is next, but first, here with the song, hello friday, with some help from jason derulo, flo rida hello friday ive been waiting for you for a long time you just save me when my life came tumbling down and i know youre gonna leave me hello friday ive been waiting for you for a long time three two yeah like a charm baby brighter than this thing on my arm baby its a party every time you come around baby now if youre down baby i can be the ground baby hear me running aint nothing looking better than when i see you coming aint none other feeling better than when im blowing money you can tell that im an addict im addicted to money im addicted to balling i got the sip of patron i bought a ticket to rome and by the end of the evening forget a weekend we wont even know what planet we on cause monday so many tuesday she wanna go up but wednesday i panic come scrambling thursday just aint my luck hello friday ive been waiting for you for a long time you just save me when my life came tumbling down and i know youre gonna leave me hello friday ive been waiting for you for a long time ordering triple seeing double im acting single you on the top on the bottom and she the middle i did all for the nookie oreo cookie about to kill it shawty dont push me now drop it you got it thank god its friday we love that tgif word yeah lets get it popping baby show me something baby or i can blow it on the next girl i got the onefifty one you got a way with your tongue and by the end of the evening forget a weekend we wont even know what planet we on cause monday so many tuesday she wanna go up but wednesday i panic come scrambling thursday just aint my luck hello friday ive been waiting for you for a long time you just save me when my life came tumbling down and i know youre gonna leave me hello friday ive been waiting for you for a long time saturday im hitting all the beaches and i aint talking playing in the sun sunday im praying for forgiveness but the week just begun hun cause monday so many tuesday she wanna go up but wednesday i panic come scrambling thursday just aint my luck all the people scream hello friday ive been waiting for you for a long time you just save me when my life came tumbling down and i know youre gonna leave me hello friday ive been waiting for you for a long time hello friday ive been waiting for you for a long time you just save me when my life and i know youre gonna leave me hello friday ive been waiting for you for a long time [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, massacre in france. A driver intentionally plowing his truck through a crowded square for over a mile, killing at least 80 people celebrating the french holiday. Whos responsible for this latest apparent terror attack . The people and the president. An abc town hall on race and policing. The answer is yes, i have been pulled over. Tonight the traffic stop examined. The policeman wants to go home safely, we want to get home safely. Splitsecond decisions making routine traffic stops deadly. For the public and officers. Were on the streets. 30 years after the original,