I want to thank you for joining us for the bachelorette postgame show. For those who dont watch the bachelorette, dont worry, well get in and out of this faster than one of those relationships lasts. Jojo went all the way to argentina to narrow the field down to six. Wells and derek got the ax tonight. I dont know who they are either. This is kind of funny. Jojo said goodbye, he got in the car. Play attention. We get a rare glimpse into the behind the scenes of how the show works. Jimmy that right there is the sound guy in the back seat. [ cheers and applause ] thats got to be the worst gig in hollywood, right . Your job is load derek into car, when he starts to cry make sure we hear it, then sit with him all the way home uncomfortably. What a show. Speaking of amazing shows did you watch the Season Finale of game of thrones last night . So many big major things happened. A few of them i even understood. Its a whole research for me the next day to figure out what i just watched. In a shocking cliffhanger the starks announced their decision to leave the european union. Theyre calling it brexit. I think [ cheers and applause ] the lesson we learned on game of thrones is dont ever follow a creepy child into the basement. I learned quite a few things from game of thrones in year. I learned holding the door for someone can get you killed. I learned if a guy is shooting arrows at you, you should zigzag a little when you run. I learned its important to feed your dogs on a regular basis. Dont take off your necklace until youre definitely ready for bed. I learned that women will eventually run everything. So we might as well get used to it. [ cheers and applause ] i have a saying about this. I dont know if you watch. Donald trump would have hated that episode last night. Now we wait until may of 2026 for a new episode. That should be illegal. When i am Vice President i will ensure that americans never have to wait more than 90 days for a show to come back. [ cheers and applause ] well build on that platform. Except shows with the word housewives in the title. Those can go on break as long as they like. Game of thrones may be over. For those still looking for blood and carnage on television, shark week has begun. Shark week is on Discovery Channel i think. Started 1987, back when sharks were wearing membersonly jackets and carried cell phones the size of bricks. The saddest thing about shark week is sharks dont even know its happening. They cant afford cable. You know, we have a whole week of programming dedicated to sharks. Most people dont realize sharks actually have a whole week of shows dedicated to us too. All new, an entire week dedicated to soft, tender, slowmoving, completely helpless, mouthwatering meat. Meat week july 3rd through 9th only on the people channel. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i dont know if youve seen this, kanye west premiered a new music video over the weekend. Its exceptionally kanyeesque. This video or visual, as he calls it, is for the song famous. It features an array of nude celebrities together in bed. If you havent seen it here it is. Ill go through the celebrities. Theres a sleeping bill cosby, caitlyn jenner, amber rose, ray jay, kim kardashian, kanye himself, taylor swift is next to kanye, thats chris browns back, and rihanna is next to him. Then we have donald trump and win tour from the magazine, you cant see her, and finally our own guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] wow, congratulations, guillermo. Thats the most starstudded ad for a sleep number mattress ive ever seen. And how did bill cosby put all those people to sleep . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, donald trump is very much awake and continuing his blistering attacks on Hillary Clinton. I guess hes going to keep doing this for another four and a half youd think he would pace himself but no. Last week he launched the website lying crooked hillary. Com. This weekend he released the top 50 facts about Hillary Clinton which sounds like something youd see on buzz feed but its a list, a followup to what trump called his stakes of the election address last week. When he says stakes he doesnt mean this. He means the stakes you put in a vampires heart. Those kind of stakes. Hillary clinton is leading in all the major polls right now. Nbc and wall street journal have her up by 5 points. Abc and the Washington Post have her leading by 12. Trump tweeted the abc poll. He said he didnt like the results, he said its dirty, dishonest, a disgrace. Think about it, if he loses this election, hell never concede, right . You know how the losing candidate is supposed to pick up the phone and call the winner . I dont see that happening. So donald trump was in scotland over the weekend to take part in a ribboncutting ceremony at his golf resort. Watch and pay special attention to what he does at the end of this clip. One, two, three. Thank you, everybody. Thank you. There, theres a pair of scissors, go play with those. Run around. [ laughter ] make sure nobody tries to cut my hair with them. [ cheers and applause ] it was interesting, in the middle of the campaign he chose to go to scotland to promote one of his business ventures. Which sounds absolutely crazy. But i guess he felt it was necessary. You know, over the course of this Campaign Trump hotels have experienced a huge decline in bookings. A lot of people dont want to stay at these hotels because of him. And in an effort to get the properties going again, trump hotels, many of these hotels are not actually owned by donald trump, they just rent his name, have launched a new Image Campaign that theyre hoping will help to turn things around. Were trump hotels were the place to stay were sorry that donald turned out this way its not our fault we just licensed his name trump hotels were not too lame at trump hotels were really, really sorry about everything. Thats why this june is apology month. 30 off accommodations for mexicans, muslims, veterans, women, the disabled, and anyone else he called a loser, dummy, clown, failure, pig, lightweight, stick, dope, or pocahontas. At trump holtz, we want your business not your birth certificate. So come on in and make your vacation great again. Trump hotels were the place to be we hope you accept our apology its not our fault the guys insane trump hotels were not to blame [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were going to take a break. When we come back, when we have a new episode of our preschool reality dating series called the baby bachelorette so stick around. It is a good one. [ cheers and applause ] s my dream car. Yeah, i like this. Ive been waiting to get in this. Real people have a lot to say about the awardwinning vehicles at the chevy 20 sales event. Wow the design is great. I love it. Number one in my book. Thats awesome if you could get 20 cash back on this vehicle, what would you do . I think im going to drive it through that wall and take it. During the chevy 20 sales event, get cash back for 20 of the msrp on many chevy models. Thats over 9,000 cash back on this chevy traverse. For the best selection, get to your chevy dealer now perhaps it is time we acquire a larger dwelling. But the mortgage process has proven to be challenging. Not with Rocket Mortgage by quicken loans. It is the easiest and most logical way to secure financing for your living quarters online. You can securely share your Financial Information with the push of a button. It appears now is a sensible time to relocate. I am so happy. No need to get emotional. [whisper] rocket. See star trek beyond in theatres. Is happening now at red lobster. Summerfest and if you love lobster and shrimp,. Check out all these new entrees. Like new coastal lobster and shrimp. With summer ale barbeque sauce,. And new lobster and shrimp overboard. Overboard . Nah,. Its just right. So hurry in. Since the beginning of time, there never seemedre is. To be enough of it. People try to beat time. Ahhhhh but time always wins. Our greatest fear is running out of time. Theres a bomb in the salsa can we gotta get out of here my phone is still charging so if time is the most valuable thing there is, why would you waste more than you have to charging your phone . Ahhhhhhhh the galaxy s7 edge, with fast wireless charging, and our longest lasting battery. Get, get, shooo hey out out get, get, get arrrrrgh did you find everything okay, sir. . panting whaaaaat. . Have a good day, sir but so we dont have tormin wad to get clean. Charmin ultra soft gets you clean without the wasteful wadding. It has comfort cushions you can see that are softer. And more absorbent, and you can use up to 4 times less. Enjoy the go with charmin. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Eric stonestreet, nia long, music from alunageorge is on the way. As you may know, in addition to my duties as host i produce a wildly successful reality dating show. So far this has been our most tantrumtastic season yet. And with that said, it is time for episode 3 of the baby bachelorette. Previously on the baby bachelorette. Drama. Oh, no, dylan chemistry. Youre crazy the most shocking cliffhanger in baby bachelorette history. Bradley, can i talk to you . Is everything okay . And now the drama continues. Its my ex. She came back into my life. What are you saying . I want to go be with her. I was falling for you, how can you do this to me . Im sorry. Not as sorry as i am for giving you my heart. Im so humiliated. Playas gonna play. As the sun sets on the relationship, surfs up as bianca goes on two destination dates. Hi im so excited, its going to be amazing who wants to help me dig a hole . Me, i do. I love digging holes. Its going to be a tough decision. Bianca, can i put more sunscreen on your nose so you wont burn . Sure. Wow, mannys good. I really have to bring it. Bianca, can i play you a song . Sure. The wheels in the bus go round and round round and round the wheels in the bus go round and round all day long that was beautiful i know. Enough with the music. Bianca, lets take a walk. I want to get to know you. Sounds good. What do you want to be when you grow up . I want to be a veterinarian, a ballerina, and a president. What do you want to be . I want to be a dino police. Amazing. Ill be right back will you accept this unicorn . Yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i think im in love. Thats my future wife. I know. Im really excited for my date today with alex and dean. Hi, boys. Ready to have some fun . Yeah yeah sorry, bro, youre too short to ride. Looks like its just me and my lady. Thats not fair. Lifes not fair. Dean is a joke. Sorry, dean, youre just too little. Lets go on the balloon ride see you, dean. I once had true love but i was too blind to know i was very sad. Go, go youre winning never would i let go never would i let go its hard being little. Will you accept this unicorn . Totally. With alex, theres a connection. I think dean might be a little too young to get married. Coming up on the baby bachelorette. Bianca meets the families on two dramatic hometown dates. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i cannot wait to see how this amazing journey ends. Tonight on the show music from alunageorge, from uncle buck nia long is here. Be right back with Eric Stonestreet 4 by 4 those who jump start the weekend. The ones who want to see it all. Hear it all. And feel it all. All summer long. Jeep renegade its how we live 4 by 4 summer. Give extra. Get extra. With simply right checking from santander bank, just make one deposit, withdrawal, transfer or payment each month to waive the monthly fee. And theres no minimum balance. Youre alright. With simply right checking from santander bank. Are you feeling alright, baby . Jimmy tonight from the new show uncle buck tuesday nights on abc, nia long is with us. A music duo from london, the new album is i remember, alunageorge from the samsung outdoor stage. Tomorrow night Margot Robbie will be here, Jim Jefferies will join us, and well have music from flo rida and later this week zac efron and adam devine, christoph waltz, walton goggins, Danielle Brooks plus music from Melanie Martinez and maxwell. Please join us for all of that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is televisions Favorite Party clown. He has parlayed that into a role in a big animated film he plays duke the rescue dog in the secret life of pets, it opens in theaters next friday. Please welcome Eric Stonestreet. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Very good. I was doing my sultry. Stretching my cavs. Jimmy youre on break . Do break, doing a breakypoo from modern family. Jimmy how many months do you get off from the show . Four and a half months. We shoot august to march. Then we go back august 1st. Jimmy do you miss everybody . Is there a big goodbye at the end of a run . I miss some people more than others. Jimmy yeah, okay. We miss everything. Whats great is we still text. Our group texts honestly would make a great little Cash Register book. Jimmy would they be appropriate . No sofia always takes it to another realm. Jimmy i see. Yeah, were looking forward to going back. We miss seeing each other. Everybody does their own thing. We stay in touch. Jimmy youve been promoting this film, the secret life in pets, you play a dog. I do. Jimmy i played a dog in a number of things myself. Ive only played a dog. Really . Jimmy yes, i played a dog three times. People see me and think, dog. They used to see me and see, serial killer. Then they saw me and said, good gay guy. I was happy to move on from serial killer. Jimmy gay guy, now good boy. Sit, boy. You do press, junkets, you get asked the same question over and over and over. When i say over and over and over, i mean 60 people lined up outside your hotel room coming in and asking you the same question. Jimmy which is the question they keep asking most . So, how did you get into the mind of a dog . And then, you know, because im working for the studio and like have to answer that question, i have to come up with things like seriously to say. Jimmy what do you say . Well jimmy what can you say . Exactly. Because i dont want to dismiss it as not an acting job because i have to be truthful and honest to the character. But i cant just say, well, you know dogs dont talk. So i dont really think of it as a dog. You cant just like dismiss it immediately. So i say, yeah, you know, i just think of it as a fun character, i have to be just like i play on modern family, try to come up with creative ways. You should grab hold of them and start humping their leg. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] woof jimmy i know you are going to be doing Live Performances over the summer. Yeah. Jimmy this is something that popped up on my computer screen. Look how serious i am. Jimmy an intimate evening with Eric Stonestreet. And this photograph. How intimate is this evening . I promise to have sex with one person after every show. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats good. No, i mean the idea of it is supposed to be theyre supposed to think im funny from the getgo, theyre supposed to think is an intimate evening is, you know, a double jimmy a joke. A joke. Jimmy but when paired with this photograph, which looks like your tinder profile picture. And the background. It seems like, yeah, it seems like something serious is going to happen. Well. Jimmy somebodys getting pregnant. Like i said, for one person after the show, something serious is going to happen. No, its kind of like what you do between commercial breaks where you engage somebody. Jimmy chat with the audience. Like inviting somebody from a tv show over to your house and anything goes. The show is really dictated by the audience. Im doing it in philly, doing it in new jersey, new york. And its fun for me to get out and do it. Im not a standup per se. But the show idea is sort of based on what i do every day. Im sure you do too, answer peoples questions. You get coffee, hey, wheres lily . Youre like, uh, thats a character i play on tv. And they think theyre the first person to ever say that. Jimmy for somebody its going to be a great night. Yeah, its fun. Jimmy eric, how do you get into the mind of a dog . Always the question i get is, what is sofia like . Im like, never looked at her face, only her boobs. Couldnt tell you, have no idea. Never really engaged on a personal level. Jimmy doing these live shows, this would be a wonderful way to pick up women, yes . Hi, mom. You know, its fun. Like i said jimmy are you doing one in your hometown . No, ive done one in manhattan, kansas, before. And i have people in the audience tonight. Ive done one there, thats fun. Kansas city, kansas folk really enjoy me. Jimmy as a kid when you were growing up and summertime, did you relax, have a job . What did you do in the summertime . Pigs and cows. I had that job to do. Then i would bale hay in the sum over a hay baling group where wed put up hay. Nobody really understands what that means. Jimmy what does that mean . You cut the grass, bale it into bales. Put on it a trailer, put it in the barn. In the wintertime thats what you feed the cows. Theyre 80 pounds a bale. At first i was little, my job was kicking the bales and getting them in a row so the truck could drive down. As i got bigger it was to put them on the trailer. Thats where all this comes from. Jimmy i see, i see. Did you do that job through college . No, in college i got a job at applebees. Jimmy really . I was a server, an apple buddy. Jimmy is that what they call them . Any other apple buddies out here . No . Jimmy did they call them apple buddies . Yes. Like wow, duh . Whats up, apple buddy mike . Hey, apple buddy eric. Jimmy you were did you do funny stuff with the customers . What would happen, the customers loved me but the other servers hated me because i would do magic tricks at the table because i wanted to be a clown when i was a kid. I would just look over and see other servers shaking their head. Frickin stonestreet. Coming in here, getting his 40 tips. Jimmy you would get good tips . Oh yeah. Doing balloon animals for the kids. Jimmy thats smart. Youre like the top apple buddy alltime. Totally, absolutely. Manhattan, kansas. One time my manager gathered everybody in the kitchen and said, id like to read a letter we received. It was a letter praising me. Jimmy oh oh, it turned the whole staff against me. It was terrible. Theyre all just like when i would be like, can you help me on table 3 . Theyre like, yeah, well be sure to help you out. Jimmy thats not a very bright manager. That manager was not your apple buddy, for sure. No. Jimmy speaking of apples ive got a fruit bowl here. Youve asked for a fruit bowl, why . Well, i was going to show you and the audience a basic trick that i would do. Jimmy as an apple buddy . Yeah, as an apple buddy. Here, if i could get you to come like this. You just have to focus. Here. Jimmy this is not going to no, no. Jimmy okay. [ cheers and applause ] this is a super easy trick to do. Put your hand up. Count of three grab this orange. Tangerine. So on the count of three. One, two, three then grab it. Jimmy okay. And . Its gone. [ cheers and applause ] one more time. One, two, three jimmy wow. Thats pretty good. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy give me one more time. Okay, but let me do it for dicky. Jimmy does it work for an apple . Dicky, yeah, you get in here. Dicky loves being part of this kind of thing. Stand right here. He loves it. Apple buddy. Jimmy can i throw these at dicky during this . No, no, no. Jimmy do not throw oranges at dicky during this. One, two, three. Dicky unbelievable. Jimmy it tastes like you too. So anyway, thats the david blaine stuff i would do. Jimmy Eric Stonestreet is here. Well be right back [ cheers and applause ] officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. Woo hoo over you to you tom things have gone totally around the bend. Cmmon boys rarin to go because of new doritos mix, there is boldness everywhere. [robotic voice doritos ] i quit has the world gone completely bold . New doritos mix. Four snacks in one. Since the beginning of time, there never seemedre is. To be enough of it. People try to beat time. Ahhhhh but time always wins. Our greatest fear is running out of time. Theres a bomb in the salsa can we gotta get out of here my phone is still charging so if time is the most valuable thing there is, why would you waste more than you have to charging your phone . Ahhhhhhhh the galaxy s7 edge, with fast wireless charging, and our longest lasting battery. Flo [ ghost voice ] oooo [ laughs ] jaaaaamie, the name your price tool can show you Coverage Options to fit your budget. Tell me something i dont know oh ohhh she slimed me. Which i probably shouldve seen coming. [ laughs ] is back starting at 12. 99, only at olive garden. Tour of italy choose 3 of 9 of our favorite italian dishes to get everything you want, all on one plate. Plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. Because the best tour of italy is the one you create. Olive garden. Has more highspeed data nowthan ever before. Reless. Were talking double the data for just 10 bucks more. Thats 10 gigs of highspeed data. To stream more video. And more music. More whatever you want all on americas largest and most dependable 4g lte networks. Choose from two great plans our unlimited plan with 5gb of highspeed data. Or double your data for just 10 bucks more. Find out more at straighttalkswitch. Com and grease in just a minute on dirt and grime mr. Clean will clean your whole house and every room thats in it. Floors, doors, walls, halls hes so tough, he cleansem all grimy tubs and tiles hell do so your bathroom looks clean as new mr. Clean gets tough on stuckon stuff cleans kitchens in a minute. Mr. Clean will clean your whole house and every room thats in it. Mr. Clean, mr. Clean, mr. Clean i survived breast cancer. If the doctors hadnt caught it early i might not be sitting here. So im outraged that pat toomey voted to defund planned parenthood. Which thousands of pennsylvania women depend on for cancer screenings. Pat toomey was even willing to shut down the federal government to eliminate funding for planned parenthood. Shut down the government over planned parenthood . I think we ought to shut down pat toomey. Women vote is responsible for the content of this advertising. Youve got it all wrong. Were just like you guys. We hate humans. Hate them. Thats right dont get me started on people. Am i right . Thats why we burned our collars. We burned them to the ground killed our owners yeah wait a minute, thats too far, maybe. No, they dig it. We whacked them yeah, thats right. Bangbang with our paws if i had a dime for every owner i killed id have a dime i just killed the one. Jimmy Eric Stonestreet got into the mind of a dog. The secret lives of pets. I got into the mind of a murdering dog that could talk. Jimmy thats the thing about dogs. We love them, they seem to love us. You know if you were lying dead on the floor they would eat you without hesitation. Thats how my pigs were growing up. I always had was told to be careful in the pig pen, if i fell and knocked myself out, pigs would eat me quickly. Jimmy do you feel that made you more comfortable with eating them . For sure, for sure. [ laughter ] jimmy it is. Yeah. Jimmy somebodys got to be on top. Good, pig. Jimmy pig is very, very good. Most of the time when you do these animated films you dont see your castmates, you just go into a recording studio. Is that how this yeah, thats how it works. Im in a studio in los angeles, kevin and louis are wherever theyre doing it. And that scene you just saw, we werent together. Which is really fun as an actor. Its a challenge. But you just kind of play both parts in your head. Jimmy louis ck, kevin hart. You meet with kevin i dont know, were you guys at a promotional event . Doing press in new york, yep. Jimmy you made a video together. Yeah. Jimmy and is there anything you need to say before we set this up . Why did you make the video . This is the second in the series. I said, kevin, you want to be on my instagram . Jimmy kevin said, of course. Id love to be on your instagram. This is the result. You want a picture, eric . Oh, video . You cant just do that. You cant you have to say picture or video before you start. Its a video. Its a video game. Really . Why but the way youre not even theres no introduction. Oh, hey, everybody. Here i am with kevin hart at the premiere of the secret life of pets. Its not even hey, yall, whats going on . Were here at the secret life of pets premiere. See . Hey, yall no, no, dont you dont do that. Dont try to talk like i talk. Im showing you how to be energetic. Okay. Hey, whats going on yall, we here at the secret life of pets premiere with Eric Stonestreet yo, whats up, mother okay, okay. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its a movie for children. As far as the bachelorette, i know youre a fan, have you been following . Do you have a favorite . Oh, man. I love the show. I think its such a we share the same admiration for it. Not just like trash tv. I think its actually important television. Jimmy do you think its important . I really kind of do. Jimmy why . To remind us when were a dying society that there were signals. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there were clear signs that we were doomed. And that we deserve to lose our existence. Honestly. Jimmy its a harbinger. Yeah, it is. But having said that, i love the personalities that they do. They do such a great job with casting. Getting all those people on there. I havent been watching the show. I only saw the second episode where i saw chad. Jimmy oh, yeah, he was bad. Hes gone. Oh, good. Jimmy kicked off the show. That guy was something else. Id like to see him and i together. I know hed within a few seconds call me fat. You know . Thats how those guys do things. If i said something hed be like, well, yeah . Well, um, youre fat like, good job, way to state the obvious, good one jimmy lets not jump to conclusions, maybe youd hit it off famously. Wed hit something for sure. Jimmy would you ever be interested in being the bachelor . [ cheers and applause ] you know i had tweeted maybe when modern familys over i could be the 48yearold washedup Television Star bachelor version. Jimmy why not . They probably wouldnt want to put the girls on the bachelor that i would want. Jimmy oh. Id be 48 and theyd probably want to put 46yearold gals on there. Nothing against 46yearold gals. Jimmy wow, youre getting in deeper and deeper. Yeah. I better go. Jimmy that was Eric Stonestreet. [ cheers and applause ] i didnt mean anything negative. Jimmy he was being selfdeprecating. The movie is the secret life of pets. Heres the trick again jimmy it opens july 8th. Be right back with nia long [ cheers and applause ] man, im glad aflac pays cash. Aflac isnt Major Medical enough . No whos gonna help cover the holes in their plans . Aflac like rising copays and deductibles. Aflac or help pay the mortgage . Or child care . Aflaaac and everyday expenses . Aflac learn about one day pay at aflac. 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Feel free. cause he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good and it feels so good oh yeah and it feels so good whats yours . Illion ways to top your kids rice krispies. A dash of fruit in their favorite colo. A bunch of pineapple cause hey its summe bananas and berries cause the letter b rock. A little bit of yogurt . Sure why not . The fun never stops how many ways can you snap, crackle, pop . Cottonelle asked real people their bums. Ing. What . laughs laughs what does cleanripple texture do . Catches all the stuff that you want to get out. This is really nice. This one is, like, it goes the extra step. It gets it all clean. How does being clean feel . Kind of sassy. Uh, breezy. Hands up. Weeeeeee. My bum is saying, thank you very much. Cleanripple texture is designed to clean better. Go cottonelle, go commando. Only tmobile lets your family stream all the video and music you want from your favorite services freewithout using one bit of your lte data. Plus, you can roll your unused data forward. And right now, get a free line for your family. When you get 3 lines for 40 bucks each, the fourth line is free. Switch today. male offscreen announcer whats it feel like to win the mustang instant game, with top prizes of a hundred grand or a new ford mustang . woman oh my goodness. Woo male offscreen announcer with instant games from the pennsylvania lottery, the instant you play could be the instant you win. Keep on scratchin. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Still to come, music from alunageorge. Our next guest has been referenced in more rap lyrics than hennessy. You know her from friday, big mommas house, and boyz n the hood. Her latest, with mike epps is called uncle buck watch it at 9 00 on tuesday nights on abc. Please welcome nia long. [ cheers and applause ] hi. Jimmy so good to have you here. Is uncle buck the first sitcom youve been in . No, the fresh prince of bel air. I was lisa. [ cheers and applause ] you remember lisa . Jimmy you were a kid. I was a kid, yeah. I wasnt a kid but i was a tv kid. Jimmy how old were you when you started . I was 19. Less go with 15. We dont need to go through the whole span of my years. Jimmy now youre playing a tv mom with kids of your own. I am, and its so much fun. I have a lot to draw from. I have two boys, 4 and 15. Jimmy do the kids like you drawing from them . Not so much. Jimmy they dont, yeah, yeah. My sons like, can you stop mentioning me in your interviews . I like that youre a teenager and you give me a lot of material. Jimmy thats right. He doesnt like it. Hes getting ready to get his license. Jimmy his drivers license, oh, that you can hold over his head. Hes going to be my personal assistant. Jimmy is he really . His pay will be an interns rate. So life experience. Jimmy will you pay him hourly . Free, free. Jimmy nothing, intern, i see. Nada. Im Going Old School with it. Jimmy my parents had me on a similar internship. Yeah . Jimmy when i was a kid, yes. Where i didnt get paid anything. Were you the assistant . Jimmy no, not really. I didnt do anything either in fairness. I want my kids to earn it. Jimmy you do. To earn it. Jimmy but theyre earning nothing. Right, well [ cheers and applause ] i set myself up for that one. Jimmy sending a weird message. If you work hard, you will get nothing. Thats right. But you will get breakfast, lunch and dinner. Jimmy well, thats important. See, thats important. And a private school education. That is a good tradeoff, come on. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i would also point out that legally you are required to provide them with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I dont think so. Jimmy or else the police come to the house. Do the kids know that youve been mentioned so many times in so many rap songs . Are they aware of that . Do they think its cool . Jay cole is the most recent one. Jimmy let me read the lyrics from jay cole. No role models. I have them written down. My only regret was too young for nia long, now all im left with is hos from reality shows. Thats pretty good. I think so. At least im not a ho from a reality show. Jimmy thats right. That could go way wrong. Jimmy have you contacted jay about this . And thanked him for mentioning you . I have not. Can i do it now . Jay cole, thank you. Im such a huge fan. Jimmy see, maybe theres not too great an age difference. [ applause ] what was the first one that you heard . Oh, so tribe called quest. Jimmy a tribe called quest, thats a good one. Rest in peace. Jimmy did you hear on the radio . I was in the club with my brother heavy d, god rest his soul. Im listening, jamming. Im like, hey, come on do it with me, hey. Jimmy i cant do that. Come on, you can. Jimmy im not able. Come on baby, you can do it. Jimmy im unable to do it. I can tell. Jimmy it doesnt work. Its not in you . Jimmy ive tried it. I cant even do that head thing. Thats good. Hey, its just like the neck thing. Jimmy it looks like im having some kind of nerve damage or something. No. Jimmy yeah. So i hear trinny born black, like nia longs grandmother. And im like, is there another nia long . Looking around in the club thinking it cant be me. Its the beginning of my career. Boys in the hood just came out. That moment really gave me my hood credibility. Jimmy i would think so. Right . Jimmy your grandma got some too. Oh my god. Jimmy that was her shoutout. Right. Now youre acting like chris rock. He always tries to take away my shine. Jimmy no, im not trying to [ laughter ] whenever my name no, no i didnt mean it like that. Jimmy he does . Why does he do that . Why is chris rock trying to take away your shine . He thinks my name raps with everything. So he sort of is like, dont get excited, nia long rhymes with everything, thats why youre in all these rap songs. Jimmy i see. Im like, rock rhymes with a lot and i havent heard your name. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy rock is actually a form of music. Right jimmy i think his name has been mentioned in some rap songs. Which ones . Jimmy i dont remember. I dont think thats true. I think you guys are friends and youre setting me up. Jimmy this conspiracy weve organized against you. A conspiracy. Jimmy we have kanye west, couldnt keep it at home, thought i needed a nia long. Jayz featuring kanye. You a lightskinned nia, darkskinned aaliyah, a black jennifer lopez, a ghetto senorita. Okay, wow. Jimmy are you becky with the good hair . Hell no. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy going to rule that out. Lil wayne im down with it. Jimmy like nia long in a cherry thong with the lights on . Thats a good one. That is a good one. So when i heard that i got really nervous. Because im thinking, has someone been in my panty drawer . Right . Do i have a cherry thong . Did i have sex with a guy and wore a cherry thong . I was so confused. Then i thought, maybe i need a cherry thong. So i actually went and got myself a cherry thong. Jimmy where . I went to trashy lingerie. You know that spot. Jimmy yeah, in hollywood. They better give me some free cherry thongs now, that was a huge shoutout. Jimmy you went shopping. I went shopping and got myself a cherry thong. Thats how i got my husband. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy was he the salesman at the place . No. He was the guy that was in my panty drawer. Jimmy i see, i see. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy sending a dangerous message for anyone who might want to rummage through your bedroom. Right, well. You know. Hes big and tall. Jimmy on the show on uncle buck, its very funny. I am having so much fun. I feel lucky to be with a group i respect. We have fun. People are kind. This character is amazing because shes a mom, shes strict, shes all the wonderful thins that mothers are but shes also a little bit goofy and sort of zany and not quite in control as shed like to be. So its a fun character to play. Jimmy its great to have you here. Please come back again. I will. Jimmy nia long, uncle buck, tuesday nights at 9 00 on abc. Be right back with alunageorge [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. When youre the parent of a disabled child, you realize that the world can be a harsh place. But you also realize it can be a really loving, wonderful place. When i saw donald trump mock somebody who was disabled, i was appalled. You gotta see this guy. Ahh, i dont know what i said, ahh, i dont remember that reporter suffers from a chronic condition that impairs movement of his arms. It told me everything i need to know about his heart and what he believes deep down. Priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. Choose effortless glide from side to side. E choose kneeloving, underarmcaring, bikini linebearing. Choose venus swirl. With five contour blades and a flexiball, it pivots with every dip and divot. Choose to smooth. Venus swirl. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. Jimmy i want to thank Eric Stonestreet, nia long and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. This is their album called i remember. Here with the song im in control, alunageorge im in control i like crashing waves but i want to see them at first light after a long night and see the sky take shape but i want to see the stars burn after ive had my turn and ooh ooh youre working so hard you played your card so whats the payoff and ooh ooh big talk is cheap you gotta go deeper than deep to get me off if youre picking up my call come and tell your boss you know that im in control im in control dont you know i want it all put your hands against the wall im in control im in control im in control im in control we got rainbow colors want to live your life in two shades you need an upgrade i know youre undercover ill smoke you out you know you been made dont want to be played oh oh working so hard you played your card so whats the payoff and oh oh you got to go deeper than deep to get me oh if youre picking up my call go tell your boss you know im in control im in control dont you know i want it all put your hands against the wall im in control im in control all night give me your love im in control im in control if youre picking up my call come and tell your boss you know that im in control im in control dont you know i want it all put your hands against the wall im in control in the nightline. Tonight the desperate march north along the migrant trail. Central americans fleeing their homelands by the tens of thousands to escape brutal gang violence. The road ahead is dangerous. Many facing death for the hope of a new life. Hillary clinton hits the campaign trail with president obama. Fired up the investigation into her emails may have ended with no charges but will it cost her votes . Its a disgrace and theyre like another member of the family, but what would you do if your dog acted like this . Anxiety, separation issues, and depression. More dogs are being diagnosed with very human ailments and more owners are putting their pets on pills. First here tonight the