'd 'd 'd you know I'm different 'd I've always known I was different I never knew why or how I don't think I even told my best 'd friends. READY READY READY READY READY beyond. The shame of always trying to throw it out. READY READY READY READY READY almost like finding out that the aliens in come down in captured me and and they were all in the strings on my life and i READY was living a life. Was unreal. Probably present. Storytelling with the beat. Live from n.p.r. News in Washington I'm Barbara Kline Canada is threatening to take more retaliatory steps in response to President Trump's new tariffs on steel and aluminum was already announced about $13000000000.00 and surtaxes the European Union is making similar threats and while steel is a small part of Mexico's exports to the us Shannon O'Neill of the Council on Foreign Relations says Mexico too is taking aim to retaliate if you look at Mexico with a much smaller country they're incredibly dependent on trade to the United States traded a big part of their overall economy and 80 percent of it comes to the United States but we've seen them very quickly react they put a whole list of retaliatory tariffs things that are made and particular congressional districts with high profile Republicans or other influential members and a lot of Trump supporters as well so there will be even a small to be a direct effect on particular industries President Trump is ordering the Energy Department to help financially troubled coal and nuclear power plants N.P.R.'s Jeff Brady reports a draft plan would require grid operators to buy electricity from specifically identified plants to keep them in business the country's largest grid operator p j m interconnections says there is no need for the White House to intervene in markets that are working well now the organization says that will lead to higher prices for consumers but the White House argues early retirement of coal and nuclear plants is a threat to the country's security the coal industry welcomed the news environmental groups did not John Moore is an attorney with the Natural Resources Defense Council this kind of policy also exacerbates point to change it doesn't help it and there is another national security threat coal and nuclear plants around the country are having trouble competing with cheaper forms of electricity generated by natural gas and renewable energy Jeff Brady n.p.r. News Santa Fe high school in Texas celebrated Greg. Last night it was also a kind of memorial as Houston Public Media. Reports It comes just 2 weeks after 8 students and 2 staff members were killed in a shooting rampage some $300.00 Santa Fe seniors wore white strolls over their green rope in memory of those killed the crowd at the local football stadium marked a moment of silence for the victims and there was extra security at the event salutatorian Bailey Dobson urged her class to persevered through all the challenges life is around us and we will grow up as we were and made sure we will grow to face those showers if not for our say then for those we've lost authorities are holding as 17 year old student identified as the gunman on capital murder charges but haven't released details of a potential motive for n.p.r. News I'm Laura Tyson c. In Houston this is n.p.r. . A wildfire in New Mexico is forcing residents in a remote northern community to evacuate the park fire doubled in size yesterday and now covers more than 42 square miles officials say it is 0 percent contained 7 Arctic nations including Russia have reached a new scientific agreement to promote cooperation among researchers in the Arctic as Elizabeth Arnold reports from Anchorage the pact is seen as a diplomatic victory amid increased tensions between Russia and the West scientists and diplomats are embracing a sweeping new agreement on international cooperation in the Arctic that will make it easier to export and import samples access ships research stations and field sites across borders Russian and American scientists have worked together for decades on research. Whales polar bears sea birds and fish that share international waters the pact is in response to new difficulties faced by scientists in conducting joint research projects research cruises in the Bering Sea For example involving both u.s. And Russian scientists have been cancelled by Russian authorities in recent years with no explanation Russia however was a co-chair along with the u.s. In the negotiations that produced the new legally binding agreement for n.p.r. News I'm Elizabeth Arnold in Anchorage Turkey's president has put a halt to after intense pressure from thousands of taxi drivers in Istanbul new regulations that already made it difficult for drivers to register with the company . Support for n.p.r. Comes from Babble a language that teaches real life conversations which including Spanish French and German babbles 15 minute lessons are available in the app store or online. Dot com. The 1st thing they want to ask me after they stop staring is how it happened. Could you do that READY to yourself. And 1st I told folk the truth. But when they looked away. I understood that noone cared what I said. I just want to hear that it was my salt that I did something wrong because if I didn't. Is this just happened to me. It could happen to them too. But the Bloods because one does not simply grab an axe and cut off their own legs and replace them with metal it's not done. I'm after I remember. My arms that too was a good idea but metal arms would be far superior. In its metal arms why not a whole metal torso and. After that removed my. Pistol the shiny new one fashioned of kin to match the rest of my physique. To visit my lady fair and saw the look of horror in her eyes only then. Real ours. But which. As she screamed and leave her hands about. I understood as well that. I didn't care. About her. Anymore. I wondered why. Perhaps it was because I had neglected to get a heart. Perhaps. But I did care I do care. About whomever you wish to be. Because it's as is based on something from me. Something. I used to treasure and I want to back. So. I'm going to. Ask her. Myself if. They call me. To tell me. I'm going to n.y.c. . Probably present stories from people trying to find peace. Because I have a feeling I say that but it would be only one missing something. Careful not to fear all the road terrible things had been known to happen when you're listening to for. The stepped up. Much love for the tin man for taking the mike. The sheet of my name is in Washington to. Have just one episode off the chimney an episode to start down the road some steps to be oh. Yes Dr James Fallon So some people are missing some aspect of themselves but he spoke for a bit tell his story. Number the cases because I didn't know going in at all what they were or anything they were very violent murderers and some were serial killers This is James Fallon James Fallon. Professor of psychiatry and human behavior University of California Irvine School of Medicine. Author of the book called The Psychopath Inside has a longer title but The Psychopath Inside will get you there. James is a scientist who studies the brains of psychopaths he lives on a cul de sac on the u.c. Irvine campus he married his childhood sweetheart when I got there he was preparing to go to a hockey game with his son the people he studies feel a 1000000 miles away from here for legal reasons James Cameron Vael and he details about the psychopaths but some of them were famous for how heinous their crimes were James's job was to get inside the minds of these killers. Started receiving pet scans from the early ninety's and those included killers who are psychopaths. And so I looked at them and then took notes on what areas of the brain were kind of dysfunctional turns out that the psychopaths have this pattern I don't oh man it's like it's you know for a normal anatomists like me seeing patterns is everything and so when I saw that I saw it and just patted it nobody ever really talked about it. Basically what James saw were these big dark spots in the brain places where there was little or no activity these are the areas where things like moral reasoning and impulse control come from. Most. There are also dark spots. That sad feeling you have someone you love cried. Then one day James was at his desk in his office I was sitting in my office. And I was surrounded by piles. Of tax. And on this day one of them came to his office with a pet scan was confused about something his brain. Scan. With activity. They're colored there now they have red in the blue and the have yellow they have green and then the buzzer went off and it went Oh man and I called in the technician the 2 of them and I said this is came out of the scanner it's in the wrong pilots obviously one of the murders here the scan he had in his hands had all those big telltale dark spots on it and I told the technicians to check the machine of the provenance of the data as a got to me and said This is obviously from the pile of these murders of psychopaths what exactly like it it was just a pure case said You go check this out because somebody is walking right in society probably shouldn't be walking around potentially very dangerous person. James Peel back the scan to find out who this person was then I peel back that last name and it was my name. Patrick brain. Jane. And I was you know that's the joke is on me James it used himself as a control in another study he was doing about Alzheimer's and his brain was supposed to be one of the normal ones James his 1st instinct was to assume a pattern he thought he found was Rom his brain was normal so if it had those dark spots then those dark spots didn't mean what he thought they meant after all James was a family man and this deemed scientists not a psychopath basic part of being a you know psychopath as your predator and other human beings and that predacious can take different forms it can be by taking their life for sexually you know rape and abuse and just using people and manipulating they can ruin people's lives. That predation is done without the sense of conscience. There is no formal diagnosis of psychopath in the d.s.m. But up until that day in the lab James assures the new one when he saw one. Or when I go for it you know it's hard to exactly define but you say you know you get a more live and you know it's a fit you know you have you know you got a fish on and you know it's like exactly when you know you know it's some point you know. Unlike the guys he was studying James It didn't have a criminal record no history of violence and he certainly killed anyone. Told my wife I said that's the damndest thing I said I was you know looking at these scans in our scan back and I said my skin looked just like one of these psychopathic killers and she said something that was quite curious I guess at the time even though I just laughed at that too she does it doesn't surprise me. While I was interviewing James his brother Mark walked into the house so I asked him what he thought of the news that his brother might be a psychopath Oh well it all started making sense to him and also it was no big surprise. It's a game to for him to manipulate a room a situation. It was a game to him and if you called him on it and he would he would let you seize our eyes sparkle and you know he knew that the game had played out. You never get a feeling that he is trying to hurt people. You know people do get they do get hurt and he just keeps moving on and. If he hears about it many times he you know he can justify it and he can explain in a way that it sounds justified. But he's just too smart if you think you're going to beat him at his game you know forget it as James continued to Polish friends and family he started to get feedback he'd never heard before his manipulative they said you know it out for himself 1st if you're crying and you need someone to feel bad with you James definitely was not your guy everyone knew that. Normally when I'm hearing tragic stories and saying terrible things I did I'm not hit emotionally with it but I'm interested at it you see it's a it's an academic thing I just don't feel what others feel it's that appears people just not just a matter of not doing bad things just don't have the capacity to really give them what that they expect that's is part of I don't know which I don't. My daughter said the same place by way of the same thing a week there man. Now if you look at the picture behind me on the wall what do you see there's 2 people that are painted there there's one over there and then there's this one and there were one daughter she painted that many many years ago and that's me and this is dark character we look at that thing so she's known all a lot right. Away and that when. You just start like well it's light and bright in it and has a presence that's very benevolent this is a demonic character so there are many things that in retrospect and up to all of this especially with my older brothers and friends I thought have been a lots of harm's way you know one of the best examples of this is when he exposed his brother to a cousin virus of Ebola not mark that brother heard from earlier but another one of his brothers It's called the Marburg virus and it's every bit as gross and terrible and tragic as. James was doing some research and Africa. Was working to university the hospital the guy had command there just recently bleeding up everything was ears eyes and I knew where he got it. James the spect it that it came from the bat dung in a cave on a nearby preserve. When his brother came to town to visit him James thought where better to take him then to those caves. The smallest so far nobody goes here and I know nobody goes there because of what happened and then went to the keep in case where they thought probably was there you know bat down something of the cables of the cage is where the virus was Blake. Turns out that's true. But I brought him to the cage and been in there this is always fear yet you know cause this is just stacks millions of bats will this and I just told us to don't touch the ground. By chains it did not tell him was that if he did touch the ground he might die after hemorrhaging from every orifice of his body once he got home James as brother realized where he'd been and their relationship has never been the same. But one before this didn't mean much to him now James his behavior is psychopathic so because he was a highly achieving person the type that when he said he reached them he set himself a particularly lofty new goal to be a good guy. I said what you know how this is what I do know now I had to deal with myself I said Ok if I'm doing this in a sub How do a treat my wife because I know she likes what I do and the other half she absolutely hates. Every day and all the interactions with what I bloody are not what is going on I was just thought to myself What would a good guy do it could be who gets to pour the wine 1st but also do I go to war it's a funeral and after about a month of this and 2 bouts I think I found out hundreds of times a day I was doing the interactions are the most selfish thing. James's wife was surprised in the Happy to see her longtime husband doing nicer things and she didn't even really care that he was faking at but while she was loving his new generosity and selflessness James it wasn't having nearly so much fun it was just slowed me down I wasn't so glib or smart or like that that that that I thought because I was thinking of this when I actually thought you know how it might affect this other person and it was exhausting and I sort of speak softly because like a regular nice guy it was you know it's absolutely. I'm trying to yeah I try I slip up every once a while I do but I'm still trying to get up you know brightness is Ok too but absolutes Austin. While I listened to James talk I felt an unexpected feeling come over me that feeling was jealousy because here's the thing about being someone like James manipulating situations to come out to your benefit or for your own entertainment not caring about people's feelings it may seem kind of monstrous but caring it's true it takes up a lot of time and energy. Imagine for a 2nd if you didn't care about your bosses disapproval someone's expecting him home tonight what if his or her disappointment in. What would you do instead. You would do whatever you want to it's what. I said I'm not mad at you when I don't even care about that either. But still at most of us we do care because we have no other choice James on the other hand can choose. And in Talk of us but this one psychiatrist he goes to the problem you don't care you really really don't care you know what you are and you don't care. At the end I just didn't care maybe some people would sing the Seems absurd right. Just wrap my head around the experience of. Hearing hearing that and then getting to know it and also knowing you know people saying we're not there and. Like for example I got worried that I was a narcissist the other day so I went into a can are sometimes someone I scored very well it's like it was a very stiff address but you know I was just thinking what if I'm selfish and that was really scary maybe that's what people do regular people base they would have been doing I was just going to hurt the other person's feelings I don't think about that. James continues to try to emulate generosity and kindness today at least when it comes to the small things he's pretty successful at it but there's a line in the sand that he will draw if the time ever comes if ever making other people happy makes him want to be. The good guy game is over. And may try to do the right thing but at the end of the day there's no cure for psychopathy . Long term colleague of mine who's I was very close to for many many years had a memorial and you had to Saturday and you have a choice between a sitting there in a suit coat and tie and listening to bunch of talks about somebody who's dead Ok I just went down blackies bar down in Newport Beach and had a couple beers and watched as much from sports press for the hell of it you know I'm not going to do it I'll just do something else and I'm smiling like I'm really happy about this but it's just I think so funny because it's just like. Your. It was just too much work on a hot day to do the right thing and I did that so I went down where there was air conditioning in on a couple of beers. Down to James Fallon he's written a book about his own experience as well as the science of the psychopathic mind if you didn't catch the name earlier it's called the cycle path in sock going to later snap judgment that orgy. The original score for the piece was created by Liam what a multiple who's produced by Julia. You know later in the show what is it like to see everything assume nothing at all . Grabbing at your last self. On the other side of a wall. Of judgment of a soul continues today. Support for snap judgment on Connecticut Public Radio comes from you comes School of Engineering offering spark a residential program for girls and 6th 9th grade weeklong sessions include coding robotics 3 d. Printing and engineering applied by June 18th Google you can School of Engineering spark. This week's episode of reveal profiles the rogue police officers of Baltimore's gun trace task force you can hear that this afternoon at 4 o'clock there is something like a nervous system in the for us on the Next Radio Lab this appliance know which way to turn so that he could find water could those leafy green craters in our garden be uploading our idea of what it means to think the below ground structural Oh it looks so much white for a brain I'm a look at around lately and I know that intelligence is not unique to suit me smarty plants on the Next Radio about. Listen to Radio Lab this afternoon at 3 o'clock now back to snap judgment. Snap Judgment is supported by 23 and Me a personalized genetic service dedicated to helping people learn what their 23 pairs of chromosomes say about their health traits and ancestry learn more at 23 and Me dot com. Up next new judgment the man ever saw today featuring stories from people looking for missing part of themselves but what if you don't know what you're missing anything. Alone named Steve Lopez spoke Tom conses to find out his story. I live in the middle of nowhere I rarely see my neighbors. Other than in neighborhoods that I see living though everybody else to me is a stranger I'm ecstatic. A few years ago Tom and his wife sold their commonality jumped into their r.v. With their 2 dogs and never looked back they crisscross the country 3 times over and landed on the 13 acre farm in Kentucky their new home they raise chickens and cows they're starting their own organic farm it's a quiet place the view from their front porch is breathtaking and Liz rolling hills of lush green pasture I'm not living with this fear sitting on my shoulder I am more relaxed I am more peace so I'm like Howard Hughes. Tom embraces the isolation I mean he doesn't have to deal with anybody as far back as he can remember he's always stumbled through his interactions with people be they strangers or loved ones coworkers or acquaintances never quite grasping what he was missing out on. I think it was difficult to attach myself to people. Was difficult for people to attach themselves to me you know I'm different I've always known I was different I never knew why or how I don't know I felt like I wanted to go hide in the closet or hide under a rock the only 1000 ever had trouble connecting with where his kid. My son was my world came before me came before anything sort of my daughter when she was born she wasn't skinny as Peter was she wasn't as long as she was little and she fit in my hand I didn't have time to worry about whether I fit or whether I didn't care whether I was this or whether somebody like me in the early twenty's were. 2 children yeah I did the best I could with what I had but as easy as it was with this kid it was impossible with his 1st wife so the day before Christmas and 1975 Tom moved out then his wife moved to a different state to be with her new boyfriend and took the kids with her there was a good period of time where the only way that I could speak to my son was to call the school that he attended and principal at the school would bring him into the office and I could talk to him on the phone and. 'd and that worked for 'd And my children they agreed to the evaluation and when it came time for those evaluations I think I went 1st Tom went to the doctor's office he didn't want to run into his ex-wife and her boyfriend but he was looking forward to seeing his kid that day I'm sitting in the doctor's little exam room waiting for the doctor to come in and the door was open and there was a hallway and there was a little blonde girl that was leaning against the wall and she was crying that's my daughter she's crying I have to help her. You know and she's there and she's she's got her head her arm and she had on a little dress I picked her up and I hugged her put her on my lap she also urinated on me you know it was it was a very emotional moment for me is my daughter am seeing her in 3 months and she's crying Oh my God I've got to take care of her told her everything's Ok it's going to be Ok The doctor came in you know let the kid go it's my daughter let the child go I said my daughter he says that's not your daughter. And I think at that point I pushed her back and I looked at her. The guy was probably a shock as the doctor was He probably asked me to explain it and I probably couldn't offer an explanation that was reasonable to him I could know her explanation was reasonable to me you know how does a father not recognize this child you know how do you pick up somebody else's kid and believe it to be yours and then have a doctor psychiatrist of all people say that's not your kid. Never saw my daughter that day found out that the stepfather didn't come for the evaluation so my plan is it was to have him evaluated to protect my children didn't work anywhere. The report from the doctor you know was several pages long but the conclusion of the report was. Question My psychological attachment to my children. Handwriting was on the wall I wasn't going to get custody not in not a mess they made I messed it up. I never got past the embarrassment I don't think I even told my best friends embarrassed beyond embarrassed ashamed. You know how could I fail my children. Always try to figure out what happened. There was never an answer Tom moved to California where things took a turn for the better is that why I've called him with some good news she'd left her boyfriend my kids were going to live with me for the whole summer they were leaving Oklahoma they were coming to stay with their dad in Southern California it was awesome and my son came to live with me full time and my daughter stayed living with my with my ex I don't know what the logic behind her decision was I was grateful I was happy to have my son. Tom was working as an insurance adjuster he loved it he could simply focus on the details of a car accident. Where how did it happen what the damage most of his interaction with people was over the phone. But every so often he would. Palm like the time he was a speaker at an auto theft conference he walked right past the police officer he worked with as if you didn't know him oh my god that was investigator so and so from this agency and we were working on this identity theft case and it was a big case and it involved a whole lot of people and I just looked like an idiot I think it caused fear. It was a latent fear I didn't know it was there but I would be guarded in putting myself in positions like that. Then Tom met Lorraine. Here at the Holiday Inn. Airport he came in. One Sunday night when Tom was a couple of years into retirement Hillary were home in front of the t.v. . And 60 Minutes to. Recognize. The show was about a mysterious condition called post. It's about people who cannot read. It's not a problem with their vision has to do with how their brain is wired everything else functions fine except their ability to process. So it's hard to form meaningful relationships here in this struck a chord with Tom. So they reached out to one of the researchers who gave Tom a series of tasks and came back to him with the diagnosis. And Face point. But it's almost like finding out that the. Captured mean. They were. Living a life that. The world didn't match the reality. So yeah after seeing the show it explained. But on about why he didn't know people I think we went to go meet his sister for dinner someplace and we walked into the restaurant I was walking right toward her and he kept asking me where she was and I said she's reading from her view Granted he had seen a sister a while but I was going to wonder what your how do you not recognize your own sister you know even when we're in a store he doesn't recognize me. Yeah we winning Cosco and I've been like Oh I am sometimes here and he'll look over and help be like Oh it takes him a minute when I received the diagnosis and I discovered it initially it was I would say almost euphoric you know I had an answer to how I missed to misidentify it my daughter you feel it almost absolves you of whatever guilt you carried about it. Maybe the truth is I failed it didn't do the right thing did I I didn't identify that girl that's a failure I actually sample letter to my ex-wife my children and my sister apologizing. Being the way I was you know I always wanted implosion but my behavior was exactly the opposite it pushed people away and I wouldn't let anybody close enough to be included his daughter's response to the latter was short and sweet and she's awesome she says don't be so hard on yourself. I never got past the embarrassment till we talked my daughter never knew now she knows. I'm going to. Be 27 years this year Lorraine knows Tom's idiosyncracies probably better than anyone and now she knows why they can't watch a movie together you know actually you watch a Bruce Willis movie is Bruce Well you can focus on Bruce Well if he looks the same he never changes the shirt it's always bloody in right. Yet bald It's easy yeah and specially he does not worry about change. It took time 11 years to propose to Lorraine he figured he'd wake up one day and she'd be gone but he got lucky. We aren't. Going there. Till time you people are. Nation. Actually much easier. Yeah he has a better understanding. Of what he is now. And it's given us an explanation so I'm more prepared when we're in a social setting. Parity in the. Market changed my hairstyle in the department store I am. You know I keep an eye out or am. Very big thank you Tom consciousness wife Maureen for sharing their stories and a big shout out as well to Brad Duchaine the researcher who helped. Found skate for that story was created by Rachel Corrie. Produced. Episode continues. Support for snap judgment on Connecticut Public Radio comes from the Adventure Park with locations at stores and Bridgeport zip line and climbing fun in the trees for kids teens adults and groups for beginners or advanced climbers info and reservations at Fun in the trees dot com. This week's episode of Radiolab features a series of clever experiments that show plants doing things you never would've imagined That's coming up at 3 o'clock most of us probably wake up with alarm clocks you know we fumble around reaching for a glass is maybe the snooze button maybe the light switch and soon you're up and moving well every day Morning Edition helps you flip the light switch on your world with the latest news updates in-depth reporting we hope you see what's going on and really understand it all start your day fully awake with Morning Edition listen every day. Listen to Morning Edition weekdays from 5 to 9 am. Studios Welcome back to snap judgment the episode. And today asking people what the missing piece to tell us what happened. In Korean history. At the dinner table. Eating dinner with her father. And he reveals a. Secret. When I was 12 as he was tuning into some roasted mackerel. Suddenly his eyes began to well with tears he said my sister this was her favorite kind of fish. He took a bite of mackerel in he said Oh. She disappeared when I was 14. I was stunned. Here was a ghost in our family. After he told me about her at dinner he would include her during his very solemn and long thanksgiving prayer the sister that he that he so loved. The wasn't until much later that I realize that the reason why he never told us about her before was that she was North Korea. Many decades ago when Korea was still unified as one country my grandfather couldn't afford to send both his eldest children to school. And Soto's his all to support a son. That meant that. Was sent to do teacher education program in a country village in 2 was not satisfied with that at all because she was number one in her class. Instead she chose to go north where education opportunities were at the time for a moment. And then the Korean War happened. My father never saw her again. Then in 2005 the Red Cross offer my father 10 kill the chance to see his sister book for the 1st time in more than 55 years not in person but via webcam they would set up a video Tet like Skype with North Korea on one side and south on the other. My father took his family members to cramped hotel room and saw in South Korea. In the room was a video camera and a large screen the family sat down and waited making nervous conversation. He pulled out his letter. He spent months writing organizing and preparing his 6 page letter that we counted everything he ever wanted to say. I had no idea how she might appear I expected to see a living skeleton because of North Korea's tendency to starve its own people. The screenplay. And the connection establishes. Ochs face and that of our northern relatives we see them. Now. What they are. You know his sister this is doing. Is that do you. Good to see it is wrong. Surprisingly critiquer fall I noticed that she seemed to have a little bit of makeup on and had a lovely traditional comment on with repeating which must have been expensive unusual. In preparation to see you I wrote your letter. I will read it 1st. And then he launches into one of his oldest memories of her. Young The. Young is a children but so too isn't it. I don't know if you remember but one winter night we had a 5. So dead place to you by making a stand outside in the freezing cold. I 1st saw it for you so I tried to go outside or mom and dad would tell them me. So I told them I had to pee I remember how we were freezing together in the Cold War. Our 1st story about their. Apt to you went to North Korea I didn't realize that there when relieved to together I never told you that I love you. Dad broke my heart to near our home in the nerds Oh and then there is the motive. Who could barely speak. My father was not an emotional man. Until I was 18 he never told me that he loved me. Other thoughts or side of course our shoulders were shaking on the northern side she was kind of she was amused also kind kind of a slightly mocking as if you look at what's become of you the tough guy that's tough southern living a traditional Korean man with never have said that. My dad noticed that but kept on reading. This is me though. Even now when I see high school students read the poignant tears in her hair I am reminded though be you I find myself looking at those kids as of today were you my memories are frozen at the time we last say good bye when he spoke about searching for a pony tailed girl I understood my father a way I hadn't before what it must have been like for him to. Daughters. Why he so insisted we all the best education could he wanted to give me what his own family never gave her. All. About 10 years out to your lap. I ran to the u.s. I took your mom and dad with me and take care of the damn ball they keep on want me to go back to Korea deep down inside they must the help of thaw you would escape North Korea and return home one day mom cry like a mother loses their money. He reveals to her that he has 4 daughters and only time she jokes are rich in daughters and everyone laughs out of the. Man she reveals that she herself passed 3 Tartars and 2 sons by you need sons not daughters you need sons to protect the country and reunite career soon my father's grand filibuster and finally his sister book was given a chance to speak in Italy when. We were almost all your good friends and is. Where her younger brother let me tell you Obama live I new member we are so poor. She spends the next only 15 minutes to my father's hour 15 minutes to recount what it occurred in the past 55 years for her. And the Kooyong work will count the only come back as tears came to Korea in Cuba always surges in the streets. I became a moment here sewerage or and. She started speaking up the American. Can't talk or like the. Told Politico. Oh God no. It was only a quarter I was saw of about that. Remember I used to be best as one there in school. But then our great leader said Don't cry the American bastard is poor not your leg. He was up and she married a man and then more bombs fell from the American side and then he lost both his larks. Kids are needed so I made a family the heme gave birth 5 children. Rather than the other you wouldn't be able to imagine what it's like a full crew voice to raise a family. One time I woke up to find my 1st sign. Of year by a trace almost about to die. When my husband and I couldn't write him to the hospital. So our neighbor could be the our son on his back like a horse and ran into the hospital during the middle of the night. When our grandmothers who don't always see extern they ran over to the hospital and told the doctors you need to have him survive you need to have beem was only she's a unified he needs to take his parents back to their home town. I was moved to such a good lie in this is socialist community. Didn't exist in a capitalist nation. Younkers I'll tell you just how this was let's look at it I couldn't tell if she was believing. Her Own Words. Looked to her eldest son and unlike his mother's cheeks his cheeks were. Quick like. I'm all in your life today because our great leader is the love and support that I everything in life I ever won t. Is this recently and. The amount of swapping and sweating her eldest son was toying seemed to contradict her. We don't have a many years left now all I want is to see our conscious unified. Yes I believe that there will be here soon yes I do too but we need to kick out the army come back. We need to keep a healthy strong and he listened to her finally meet and neighbor happily together yeah she passes for a moment and my father clears his throat and such us let's let's sing a song together yeah as the wish to thing do you know we all want. It's one of many and blending both the national anthems of both Koreas. Both North Korea and South Korean family members sang together. My father still full of tears took up the words Our hope is for one country we pray even entering. The song he can to come to it they were given the sick know that their meeting was about and. They were singing the screen dark my aunts faced peer. It's been 10 years since that he and you. Thanksgivings are smaller now my father's prayers are quieter now his prayers are shorter. He prays for our family. But he never mentions her now. I mention her and I ask him. Whether or not she's still alive. He doesn't say he lets a pause hang between us. He's fairy. Resigned that she will never see or can that she is the chief's. It's me. Who hopes that. Who's still her purse hope that she's alive. Thanks so much to Mary Kim for sharing your father's story Merrick she was. A waiter and a professor at the Savannah College of Art and Design by the late to some of the work on our website snap judgment dot au argy special thanks as well. And we don't feel being the fois actress for trying to kill. The original score of the pieces by Davy Kim was produced as well by baby. Oh yes now it's that time scribe now to snap storytelling pod cast it's all there at step. Stitcher Sound Cloud Facebook on Twitter and. Tempest produced by others do not. Step behind the curtain the Great and Powerful. Starring paths of the scarecrow lead to witness Dorothy and a good witch Susman. Lopez. Cowardly Lion King. Were flying minions. On others to. Tell the cops. She said. This is not the news noways it's even the fact. That some spins round and round right on top double door as Quidditch match. And still not be as far away from the lose as. This is. Why it's. 8 months ago hurricanes Irma and Maria battered quite a Rico destroying homes wiping out the electrical grid and devastating the island's economy as the island continues to rebuild a new hurricane season is on the way raising the question is whether Rico ready to face the next storm I'm Michel Martin join us for All Things Considered from n.p.r. News live from San Juan Puerto Rico. To. Listen today and tomorrow at 5 pm This is Connecticut Public Radio n.p.r. And N.P.R.'s. H d one merit and 90.5 p. Katie and p k t h d one Norwich 89 point one e.d.w. F.m. Stamford at 88.5 The View r l i Southampton at 91.3 and w. Npr dot org Good afternoon I'm Jay hold Thanks for listening it's 3 o'clock.