How do you learn to do this . [ laughter ] do they toss it to you a few times . [ laughter ] whats throw it at the guy . Whats the warmup . Put it in a gun okay, bill, this ones gonna be coming a little bit faster, now. [ laughter ] you know what i really feel badly about . That ii cant remember this guys name. He caught a bullet between his teeth. You know, i saw him do it. I forgot his name. Now, if he knew that i forgot his name after watching him do that, wouldnt he feel like, do i have to do. [ laughter ] to really impress this guy . Catch a cannonball in the eye . [ laughter ] ill tell ya this if youre a burglar, this is definitely a house you dont want to break into, you know . You dont want to surprise this guy in the middle of the night, have to shoot him in the bedroom, he comes walkin out [ spitting noise ] think ya got the wrong house, pal. [ laughter ] [ applause ] what was that, a. 22 . [ laughter ] i go to the movies a lot more than i used to. I love the movies, although i find the theaters confusing. Sometimes i sit there and i dont know if im in a specially selected theater, or just a theater near you. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i used to be afraid of the theater near you. How do they know where i am . [ laughter ] what if i move . [ laughter ] Everybody Knows the specially selected theaters cause they have that very expensive candy, you know . You know youre gonna get killed on the candy price when they put it in the glass case, cause now they think theyre selling you jewelry. [ laughter ] i gotta walk up to the guy, id like to see something in a milk dud, if i could. [ laughter ] nothing too garish, of course. Sometimes the guyll take out one milk dud, put it on a black velvet display board there. Gee, thats a beauty. Thats a 2carat dud. Take a look at that. Weve been looking around a lot. I think we should go for something nice. And who buys the horse bucket sized popcorn . [ laughter ] [ applause ] i dont need that quantity of anything its a huge its an ins it comes with ear hook things that you can put it on, there. [ laughter ] kinda wear it like a feed bag. Its its gotta be the people that sit in the front row, you know . You sit in the front row, youre watching faces 20 feet tall all that time. By the time you get out to the candy counter, theyll give you popcorn that big, youll go, yeah, thats about right. Thanks. My head is this big, right . [ laughter ] oh. The important thing is to go out, go to the movies. Go wherever you go. You know, get out. People you know, your clothes like getting out. Your clothes, their entire lives, they wait. [ laughter ] everything in your wardrobe that youre not wearing right now is home, waiting, hoping to get picked tomorrow. [ laughter ] thats what [ applause ] dyou know what your clothes like the best . Laundry day. You know, thats when they get to do things, and you wait for them. [ laughter ] you put the clothes thats a nightclub for clothes. Its dark, theyre dancing around in there [ laughter ] [ applause ] they always seem to be having such fun. A shirt grabs the underwear come on, babe. [ laughter ] then an article theres always an article from someone elses laundry ends up in yours. Hey, whos that . [ laughter ] good dancer. I wish i had that much fun shower can be a little weird. Ever have, uh i had some people staying over at my house one time, and you ever have this . You go they go in the shower, and then you go in the shower a couple of hours later and one of their little hairs is stuck on the wall. [ laughter ] you know, you wanna get rid of it. But you dont wanna touch it. [ laughter ] i dont know how it got up that high in the first place. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and we have to you have to do something, right . And we all do the same thing, i bet. First, you take the showerhead, aim it at the hair. [ laughter ] that never works. You have to get a pool of water from under the shower and over to the hair [ laughter ] get it down a foot at a time like that, but you dont have to touch it. Thats the most important thing in your life at this time. Thank you very much. Thats clever material. Oh, thank you. Good, clever stuff. I feel funny tonight. Whys that . I dunno. Iim tryin to get out of the i got robbed, uh somebody mentioned that to me. Really . I really did. Thats traumatic. Its very, uh, you know, it was my car. They took the, uh, stereo they break the glass and they took the stereo out. So my friends, you know, they said, you gotta call the police. So i call the police, i tell them the stereo was stolen outta my car. They were of course shocked. [ laughter ] they never heard of a thing like this happening, apparently. I had to console the officer that i spoke to. But its just nothing that can be done about it, you know . Its we live in a huge city here. Its its not like batman where theres four crooks everybody pretty much knows who they are. [ laughter ] what was it, a sony . [ laughter ] the joker got that, yeah. Thats the trouble with those things. You put that theythey spot that stereo and yeah. Rip city, right now. I always try and protect your things, you know, like but itit doesnt work. You know, i mean, like this is a dumb thing i always do when i go to the beach. You know, before i go in the water, i put my wallet in the sneaker, you know. Whos gonna know, right . [ laughter ] what criminal mind could penetrate this fortress of security . [ laughter ] a1 safety, yeah. Or i put my tv set in the back of the you ever move a tv set and you put it in the back of the car, and you put a sweater over it . [ laughter ] just a couple of sweaters, thats all. One of them happens to be square with antennas. Its a sweater who would know . Yeah. Well take a break. Well be right back