How bout a new used one . Oh dont worry kids, well get a new car. As soon as the junkyard claims this one. Oh, bite your tongue junkyard will never claim that porter, honey. My loyal son. Im only teasing, dave. If its good enough for you, its good enough for me. Thats my girl. Its good enough for me too, dad. Thats my boy and me too and my baby. Thats my family yes . Are you in good health . Steady pulse . Normal Blood Pressure . Not subject to fainting spells . A stout heart . Whats this all about anyway . Yes, who are you . What do you want . Yeah, who are you, what do you want . Who are we, what do we want. Oh sublime innocence. Who we are doesnt matter. Its who you are that counts mrs crabtree, hold onto your husband, brace yourself. This magnificent automobile. If theres a patron saint for old cars, president of the feedbag supermarket. Im jenkins, public relations. These are newspaper reporters, brentwood breeze . This car, this beautiful limousine, is yours mrs crabtree you won it your name, your lucky name, was drawn out of the feedbag this morning you see . Mrs David Crabtree. Thats she. Hey, thats you thats me now here are the keys and the transfer of ownership. But i dont understand. She doesnt understand. She doesnt understand. What is it you dont understand my dear . Well i dont shop at the feedbag supermarket. I mean i was there for the first time the other day just to return some deposit bottles and thats when i threw this card in your big feedbag. We shop at the costalessa market. Shops at. Costalessa. Dont write that, dont take that picture i was there yesterday as a matter of fact. We were at the costalessa yesterday, daddy. [boy] you said you wouldnt be caught dead in the feedbag, daddy. You said the feedbag was a gyp joint. Kids, what do they know. Dont put that down, dont snap that picture well thank you mr frack, it is a beautiful car. The winner of this beautiful car shops at the costalessa. Youre fired. Dont do that. Can i drop you someplace . Spent all my life building up a trade and the winner shops at the costalessa children cheering i cant believe it can you believe us owning a car like this . Oh boy, waitll the neighbors see us waitll my clients see us drive up in this boat hey, am fm radio with speakers in the front and the back and on the sides hey look at this, cigarette lighters with pearl handles. In front and in back hello car horn blaring hello this is james bond, whats my next assignment . 104, 1121 dave, will you stop that honking . Nuts here honey, its for you. Hello, hello . Hang on. Remember me . What do you mean . What are you some kind of fink . Going ape over that limousine floozy . You know you cant afford that car. Sell it. Oh come on mom, are you kidding . Sell that beautiful. Hunk of iron . Yeah thats what i said. Sell it. Mom i cant do that. Its barbaras car, i cant make her decisions for her. Besides shes in love with it, it would break her heart. Dave . See ya in a minute. Yeah honey. Dave this may come as a shock, but we cant keep this car. Youre kidding. Oh dave, im as gone on this car as you are believe me, but lets be practical. If we sell the car we can get a lot of money. How important is money . car horn blaring ill be right back. What do you want . What are you doing to me . Barbara wants to sell the car i know, but. Youre talking her out of it that car is an intruder, david. Im sorry mom. If it were a choice between your mother and your wife, i could understand it, but your wife, that darling girl, that sweet gentle understanding soul, she wants to sell the car and you dont okay mom, okay. I guess youre right, we cant afford the car. She wants to anyway and its her car. Dave . Ill be right back. Yeah, honey. Dave darling, youre so understanding. Well i guess thats what husbands are for, to be understanding. Well now you were saying that you wanted. Oh that i wanted to get rid of the car. But youre right, it is too beautiful to sell, were gonna keep it oh no. Oh it wont be too much of a burden, we can scrimp and save and well just be very careful. Itll be like a newborn baby. Yeah but honey, a minute ago you said you wanted to sell the car. Oh that was before you talked me out of it. Her. But one thing for sure. Weve gotta get rid of the porter. Right, well get. Right, first thing in the morning. Oh were not gonna get rid of the porter why . Well because were not selling it, its my porter and i put a lot of hard work in it and its one things for sure the porter stays. Okay, but we keep the new car too, right . Well okay. car horn blaring with that big car out there. Mom its a brand new car. People are always thrilled with new cars. Call the junkyard dave, tell them ill be over shortly. You fixed things just swell with barbara. Mom i tried. It just didnt work, you heard. Now you hear this. This garage isnt big enough for that car and me. Dispossessed, out of my own garage. Oh id rather freeze than be covered by this awful smelly. If i throw my top down, i can get rid of this darn cover honey that scratch was already there well something bumped into it, you heard it the porter oh hon of course, the porter came up there and bumped into the bumper and then backed off all by itself . Well something happened to my poor beautiful car. Whats the big idea . It was an accident. That dirty canvas cloth you covered me with obstructed my view. Re just being mean. Mean your sweet dear lovable mother . You dispossess me, you cover me with a dirty paintstained cloth, turning me out in the cold and im being mean . Im sorry mom. You should be. Youre right, theres not room in this family for two cars. Sit tight ill go tell barb. Finally barb . Look at this car, isnt this the most beautiful car you ever saw . Its beautiful. Ive never been happier. Really . Im going to bed. Coming . Yeah ill be there in a minute, honey. And dave, thanks for letting me keep the car. Thats alright. Well dave you didnt tell her. Well i kinda. I sortve. You kinda sortve what . I kinda sorta didnt tell her. Dave. I know mom. Oh come on barb no i am not selling this car barb, would you listen to me, im trying to talk to you. But youre not saying anything. Oh yes im saying, what is that stuff youre putting all over the car . Vapowax, its an antiscratch. This beautiful things not gonna have a mark on it. Come on barbs, lets sell it. Im not selling the car. A little while ago you insisted that i keep it but why the sudden change of heart . Its just not in our class, thats all. The porters more in our class, not this. Luxurious thing. Well it may not be in your class, but it is mine. I heard the whole thing. I cant get her to budge. Whats going to happen to me . Dont worry mom, ill make you comfortable. Were in for a cold spell and im out of a warm garage. Hey i know ill build you one of those car ports. You know those nice big aluminum car ports they advertise in the home section of the sunday paper . Aint she a beauty . Tear it down, youre encroaching on my property. What . Dont what me. I happen tove bought the property next door to you. My name is baxter and i think you should what makes you think. Im not a thinking man, crabtree, im a knowing man. And i know youre gonna have to tear down that car port which one of you fellas is David Crabtree . I am. Crabtree the squatter, right there. Im herbert cassidy, building inspector. You dont have a permit. A permit to put up a car port . Well its a building, isnt it . Yeah and its encroaching on my property by three and one half inches tear it down. But i just put it up just tear it down. Whats going on . Oh these fellas are trying to tell me that i cant build a car port on my own property. Except for three and a half inches so take it down. Well honey, what about the porter then . Poor old thing wont have any shelter. He talks like its a relative. Honey why dont we sell the new car. Why, because of a car port . Thats silly. Mr crabtree . Here. Property tax department. Did you just build this car port . Yes he certainly did. Yes sir hes gonna get a nice fresh tax bill the first of the year. No wait, he was tearing it down. He has a wrecking permit . Wrecking permit . Of course not car port stays. No it doesnt. He doesnt have a building permit. Well thats your problem. Look he cant tear down this car port unless he gets a wrecking permit but hes encroaching on my property and thats your problem. Now just a minute mr, uh. Barnes is the name. Ah well, cassidy here. Im baxter, hi. Without a building permit. Oh true. But as you can see its an accomplished fact. And as we say down at the office, he done it well you had to win a new car. Well you had to build an airport car port whatever. Mrs crabtree . [barbara] yes . I understand you just won a new automobile. Thats right. Yeah, what about it. Congratulations. Well thank you what about the new automobile . You wanna buy it . Oh its not for sale. My only interest in the car is its value, mrs crabtree. My name is farley, district tax collector. I just want to make sure that you list that car as income. Is it taxable . Should pull about 500. As much as that . Probably more. Ill be glad to give you a rough estimate. car horn blaring excuse me. Id like to get this straightened out, would you please. More than 500 . Im warning you crabtree, it comes down or im suing im suing it down unless you get a wrecking permit. Whats up . You have just been presented with the m. O. Whats that . Modus operandi, the method of operation to get barbara to sell the car. You mean because of the income tax man. And the property tax man, and the man on whose land you are encroaching. But. Oh i get it, money. Its gonna cost money to keep that car. Yeah. Hey thanks a lot for the n. G. , mom. Thats m. O. Yeah, m. O. Whatd you say that means again . Modus operandi. Got it . Got it. Use it. Some lawyer. Hows it coming . Slow. Sorry but were still trying to work things out. Thats alright, take your time. Would you like to come inside mr harold . No it wont take too long. Mrs crabtree, mrs crabtree congratulations on your new automobile. Thats a good one. That cars a real beauty. You should give it everything it deserves. What do you mean . my name is harris. Your car deserves the best and so do you. [barbara] i still dont understand. Well insurance, barbs. The car Needs Insurance and so we do we, right mr harris . Youre an understanding man mr crabtree. Your husband understands. Itll be expensive too, right . Well, uh. I mean for complete coverage. Expensive . Well need personal liability right . Right. Fire and theft . Of course u cant do without Property Damage and collision Major Medical . Ooh Major Medical, why of course i almost forgot every car owner has Major Medical. Scratches, dents, lacerations. Say crabtree, you shouldve been an insurance man. If i say so myself, what a beautiful m. O. And dont forget animal coverage. Animal coverage . For the car . For the car . Oh sure, suppose a dog nips at those soft beautiful tires. How come i didnt think about that . Are you putting me on . Am i putting her on, mr harris . Your car deserves the best. Youre a good man crabtree. Now if youll excuse me, i have to figure out the cost of the policy. Be sure and cover everything, mr harris, everything. Any moment now mr crabtree. Good, good. Mr crabtree yes sir. This is going to take a little longer than i thought. Oh thats alright mr cassidy, just be accurate, cover everything, remember, deserving of winning such a lovely piece of automotive engineering. My name is fink. But never just a book by its cover. david laughs mr fink, it looks like somethings on your mind. Well there certainly is. A car like that for instance, thats whats on my mind. You wanna buy it . Dave surely youre jesting, i cant afford it. Mrs crabtree, i have come not to buy your car, but to improve it. Oh thats an excellent idea. Improve it . Seat covers. Oh seat covers gee thats great, honey we cant allow our miserable bodies to to sit all over that beautiful upholstery, you know hand prints, jelly bread. Jelly bread . You can work for me anytime, mr crabtree. Well if i keep that car i just may be doing that, mr fink. How much for the seat covers . Well ill have to figure it out. Between you and me i didnt come prepared. I didnt even bring my pencils. See i thought you folks were gonna put up a fight. What about honey . How are we gonna pay for all this . Is it all necessary . Well the government has to have their cut, and insurance of course thats necessary, and theres the seat covers. Yeah we have to have the seat covers. Yeah, and the car port, heaven knows what theyre up to over there. Well its all gonna be pretty expensive isnt it . Yeah. Well dont worry well think of something. Like what . Well, we could always get a loan on the car for the upkeep. More payments . Were already making payments on the television and the refrigerator, the nursery school. And the stove. No were not taking out any more loans. The tax on your car based on normal income, should be about 650. 650, are you sure thats enough, were in a higher income tax bracket now. Youre a great american, mr crabtree. Your insurance is a real bargain, mr crabtree. Complete coverage for 652. 87. 652, are you sure you figured in the volcanic eruptions there . Oh thatll account to 763. 26. Ith a natural elaskin seal, is gonna come to 468. 04. Bargain, that is a bargain. Crabtree. Im not finished. Sorry. Plus sales tax. Sales tax, well thats alright. Now . Now. Thanks. Crabtree, im gonna allow the encroachment for a small Monthly Payment of 42. 42 . Thats real neighborly of you, i appreciate that. I can backdate that building permit, you scratch my back ill scratch yours but, youll have to take out a license, thatll be 50. 50, right. Crabtree youre a veteran arent you. Well im gonna assess that car port real cheap, 250. 250, thats very reasonable, isnt it barbs. Barb . Barb . Reasonable . Howre we gonna pay for all this, tell me that. Aha, but we know how dont we son. That good old modus operandi. Oh theres only one thing to do barbs. Right, and im going to do it. Good girl. Sell the porter. Bad girl. Enough to forget about selling the porter. I can do without the flowers, but what about these bills . Will you listen if i tell you honey . Oh ill listen. Well i was just thinking, you know that movie we watch every night, right after the news at 11 oclock . And that guy comes on real loud, talks louder than the movie and says hi im your lonely dealer down here, and ive got so many cars i dont know what to do and hes sick and sad because he cant sell em . Hed give us 5000 for the car. Id like that. But i hate the thought of the car being mistreated by a stranger. Honey its only a machine. You call there, the sad dutchman, and ill go back the car out of the garage, okay . Remember his last line, some people support id like to speak to mr frack please. Yes the president. Why mr frack, what are you doing here . Hello mrs crabtree mrs crabtree we have news for you. Oh delightful news, thats why i rehired him. Well tell them jenkins, tell them. The car, the big beautiful car, it doesnt belong to you. What do i mean . Ill tell them, ill tell them. You see, there was a mistake. Now the lady who really won the car, was mrs David Crabtree of sacramento. You were the wrong mrs crabtree. The right mrs crabtree shops at our feedbag in sacramento. Where all the right people shop. Oh now, hold on a minute im gonna take this. No. What do ya mean no dave, honey . Im a lawyer, they cant get away with this the car isnt mine, i didnt win it, ildren belong to me, thats all i want. Here are the keys mr frack. Thank you. I have a man here wholl drive it right back, goodbye come jenkins, now here are the keys, take it right back. Did you see that . Right through my rearview mirror. Barbara didnt even put up a fight. She couldve gotten 5000 for that car. Then frack and jenkins come along and all of a sudden. Not all of a sudden, davy. And arranged the whole deal. She called . Theres no mrs David Crabtree in sacramento. She told frack she wanted the car delivered to a worthy day nursery. My wife gave the car to charity . A very nice charity, david. When converted that car will transport a lot of deserving children. My wife, a wheeler and dealer if i ever saw one. She had the right m. I. All the time. Its m. O. Your Insurance Company wont replace the full value of your totaled new car. The guy says you picked the wrong insurance plan. No, i picked the wrong Insurance Company. With Liberty Mutual new car replacement . , you wont have to worry about replacing your car because youll get the full value back including depreciation. Make the switch to Liberty Mutual and see why weve been awarded highest in Customer Satisfaction by j. D. Power. Call liberty stands with you . Liberty mutual insurance. You know its a funny thing. What . I said its a funny thing. You never polished the car before. Its a nice car. Funny thing. What . Have i told you lately that i like you . Here you finish it. Eesh. Whats that for . You call that a kiss . Whats wrong with it . Barbara walked away, didnt she . Yeah, but. She didnt fly, where are the skyrockets . Did she hear a thousand violins mom, it was only a kiss. Thats what my hear is saying, while every breeze is playing our cuban oh boy. car singing cuban love song dave dave you forgot your brief case. Oh, thank you, honey. Have a good day. Oh, it better be. Its gonna be an important one. Dave, did you leave the car radio on all night . Yeah. Ceover] my cuban love song. One melody good morning, ma. Good morning, dear. I bet you think its fun being an old car. I imagine it has some good points. Oh, there he is. I dont have to decide between french, thousand island, or roquefort. What else . Thats it. Do you realize i cant even take my own grandchildren in my arms . No, but i bet youre gonna. Right, they chase me, barking down the street, nipping at my tires. You know all thats wrong with you, mom . A Little Spring fever. Yeah, well could be. car singing cuban love song for adults with advanced nonsmall cell lung cancer previously treated with platinumbased chemotherapy, or e. G. F. R. Gene whove tried an fdaapproved targeted therapy, this is big. A chance to live longer with opdivo, nivolumab. Opdivo demonstrated longer life and is the most prescribed immunotherapy for these patients. 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Bristolmyers squibb thanks the patients, nurses, and physicians he is gorgeous hes too much thats why you have googly eyes . I may be in love. What about charlie, susie . Charlie who . Charlie, your fiance . Oh, charlie yes, that charlie let me tell you something, if that mr. Byron sings, one enchanted evening, its good bye, charlie. Yeah. Spring fever. Its gotta be spring fever. Mr. Byron, David Crabtree. Crabtree, i am here because of the biggest and greatest Housing Development of my career. Oh, shady acres, i see you commercials everyday, mr. Byron. Thank you. Now, the secret of my success, crabtree, is that i play hunches. I do not deal in an orthodox manner. And, when i find a lawyer who drives a 1928 porter, i can explain he is my kind of lawyer. How come . I will tell you how come. Thats a wonderful slogan, mr. Byron. Slogan . It is a prophecy. I had a vision, yesterdays swap land, today a dream come true. Shady acres, a gracious retirement community. I have built 1, 928 homes. 1, 928 homes down payment . 1, 928, 1, 928 and paid off at 1,928 per annum. Now, do you see where you come in . Y, mr. Byron. Your 1928 porter, its an omen. I am a superstitious man, i play hunches. And, if you own a 1928 porter i do, i do. You are my lawyer. Ah, now i see. Liked it . I loved it and, as for your fee, crabtree, conrad byron. laughs loudly listen, mr. Byron, i have an idea. Ow your family are my kind of folk, old fashioned. We will be. We are, we are. Daddy, may i make the wheel go round . No, randy, leave it alone, its rented. If we break it, we have to pay for it, its an antique. Dave, is all this really necessary . For a big client like conrad byron . Okay, theres your answer. Daddy, look, did they have electric plugs in 1928 . I dont know, but im not taking any chances. Gee, dave, maybe we shouldve rented a farm house for the evening . Thats not a bad idea. car honking oh, theres conrad byron now in his horse and buggy. Places everybody hello good evening, mr. Byron, and welcome thank you. Oh, and there it is, in all of its grandeur, a 1928 porter, if i ever saw one in red. Fire engine red oh, its really the cats pajamas. What . Its a fine machine, beautiful. Thank you. We better go in the house, barbara has the table all set. [voiceover] psst psst what was that . Ive got a little hay fever. My pills are in the car, ill get em. Ill be with you in just a minute, mr. Byron. Whats with the, psst psst . [voiceover] quick, tell me, who is he . Hes beautiful. His name is conrad byron. Did you hear what he said about me . He called me a fine machine, beautiful, he said. I gotta go in the house, big deal cooking. Make sure you bring that big gorgeous deal out here later. Dont start up, okay mom . He patted me, right on the radiator. car singing cuban love song oh, mrs. Crabtree, the dinner was absolutely delicious. Mm and eating in the kitchen enjoyed it, mr. Byron. Its just potluck. [cindy] mommy, may we please be excused . [randy] mommy, may we please be excused . Yes, yes, and go. Oh, you dont see manners like that anymore, those days are gone. Not around my house, mr. Byron. I guess im just kinda old fashion, a lot like you. Oh, i dont know how long it is been since i had a dinner like this. Me either. laughs loudly pan gravy, hot biscuits, honey. And, how about that dessert . Tapioca pudding. All home cooked too. Oh, really dave, thats not golly true. I must admit the honey was store bought. County ordinance, they dont allow us to keep bees. laughs loudly oh, this has been a compliant evening. That beautiful, old porter. Honey, mr. Byrons just crazy about our 1928 porter. You are . Oh, i certainly am oh, im certainly am, too car honking excuse me, short circuit. Cookies and cream, mr. Byron. Oh, you baked these yourself. Mm, its still warm. car honking no, its lorne greene. I was hoping for conrad byron. Mom, what in the world are you doing . Just trying to show conrad my best profile. Look, i dont wanna hear any more out of you. Im gonna unhook your horn. Ah, you were talking to your car, werent you dave . Nope. Oh, dont be embarrassed. One grows very fond of these old cars. This is a fine one. Finest. Its an old ukulele from maui. Yes, yes. You know how to play . Oh, i can remember sitting on the beach at night and strumming away. guitar playing thats great spanish rhythm. Yeah i love you, thats what my heart is saying, while every breeze is playing [voiceover] playing singing together i love you for all the joy you brought me, the lovely night you taught me our cuban love song. One melody is always in my heart. moaning i love you with such a tender passion and only you could fashion, our cuhoohoo our cuhoohoo our cuhoohooban love song ole you have a sort of an odd voice for a man. Thank you. Well, and thank you for a wonderful interlude. Now, i think id better go in and say good night to your lovely wife. Whats the big idea . Son, i have an important question. Can a car with 470, 000 miles on her, find happiness with a gorgeous Business Executive of 60 . Oh, ive had fun this evening. It was like going back to 1928. And, that beautiful little old porter, i was wondering, would you consider selling it . Oh, im sorry, mr. Byron how about straight trade . My limousine for the porter . No [barbara] oh, dont say no [conrad] and, dont forget, my private chauffeur goes with it. A chauffeur and limousine, please trade, please . His salary will be paid. No, im sorry. Im sorry, mr. Byron, my husband and i just dont see eye to eye when it comes to that porter. Shall mumbles , dave . Well talk about it when i get back, honey. Well, good night, mrs. Crabtree. Good night. I hope i havent caused the tempest and the teapot of your little family. Not at all, mr. Byron, no hard feelings. Oh, the hardest. But, i know exactly how you feel about that old car, dave. Thank you. Good night, mr. Byron. Good night. Conrad byron, he wanted to trade his chauffeur and limousine for you. He even got barbs into it, asking her. Yeah . And what did she say . Barbara was kinda for it. But i said, no, absolutely not, uhuh, negative dave dont worry, mom. Its gonna take more than a chauffeur and a limousine, and barbara to make me get rid of you. Dave after all, youre my own mother. And, youre my son and this isnt going to be easy to say, so listen carefully. Listening. You shouldve said yes. What . Trade me to conrad byron. Simple, im beautiful, hes gorgeous, we belong together. Mom, i just cant believe you want me to trade you to conrad byron. Ubbi, baby ubbi . You Better Believe it, baby now, call conrad and tell him to come right over and pick me up. No, mom. Absolutely no right here is where you belong and right here is where youre gonna stay. Okay dear, i gave you your chance tata you mean youd really . Ubbi, baby i dont bbi this whole thing. Here you are happy with your own family and you wanna go gallivanting around with conrad byron. Thats the word exactly, gallivanting. You know absolutely nothing about it. Im certainly not going to find out sitting in the garage, am i . David, for the last time, do you call him or do i call him . Conducting a scientific experiment, trying to forget im mad at you. water boiling look a watch pot does too boil hugh downs is right hugh downs says that when youre really mad, concentrate very hard on something and then youll forget why youre mad. And youre mad at me because i wont trade the porter for the limousine, right . Now you reminded me and im mad all over again. Hey, hold on there hugh downs didnt say anything about throwing rocks at me, did he . No. And first of all, this isnt a rock, its a stone. Now, why was i mad . The chauffeur. Ooh, thats it the chauffeur, the limousine, conrad byron, and that junkie old porter. Oh, swell, now i forgot what to do with this stone. Okay barbs. Dont thrown stones, dont gather moss, stop watching pots, and stop being mad at me. Hello, mr. Byron . This is mr. Crabtree, weve decided to make the trade. Yeah, thats we, my wife, myself, and hugh downs