You do all this research on a perfect car, then smash it into a tree. Your Insurance Company raises your rates. Maybe you shouldve done more research on them. For drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. And if you do have an accident, our claims centers are available to assist you 24 7. Call for a free quote today. Liberty stands with you . Man on radio now for our first caller. Youre on the air, sir. Caller i want to complain about that new factory they put up over on central avenue. Now, thats an ugly building and an eyesore. And among other things, its going to create parking problems and traffic jams. Andand for crying out loud, havent we got enough smog already . Aw, did you hear that . Oh, yeah, yeah. And now for some music. Oh, mont, dont you care in your community . Of course i care whats happening in the community. More specifically, the block. Narrowing it down, this house. Pinpointing it, this sofa. And hitting it on the head, this cushion. Oh, lamont, that factory is right here in this neighborhood. As a matter of fact, its right down the street on this very block. Yeah, i know all about that factory, denise. Hing, and this is the time and the place. Oh, lamont, youre a shallow, uninvolved person. No, im not. Look, if i wanted to, i could call that station and tell them a few things if i wanted to. Well, so, go right ahead. Go on. Tell them right now. Oh, theres no way in the world youre going to get me to call up that Radio Station and talk to them people and make a fool out of myself. Lamont. There aint no way you going to get me to do that. I would only give myself totally to a man that gets involved really involved. Whats the number of that station . 5553211. You want involvement . Ill give you involvement. Some involvement. 3211. [sighs] uh, hello. Is this the talkback show . Am i on the air . Good. Well, i just want to say i want to make a comment about that guy that called about the factory. Now, that factory might be an ugly building and an eyesore and everything, but it takes millions of people off unemployment and welfare and gives them steady jobs. In fact. I would do all that i could to encourage more trade in the area. To make Jobs Available for people that want to work and give them steady employment and pride and dignity, so they can hold their heads up high. Its one thing to have trouble breathing, and its another thing to have trouble eating. Come here. [no audio] whats happening, son . Hey, pop, what are you doing here . I thought you and grady went to the drivein movie. We did, son, but, see, after the movie, they were going to raffle off a turkey. So . So, a lady left early and backed over him. Yeah. It was terrible. They even took him to the vet, but it was too late. The poor thing was doa. Thats drumstick on arrival. Hey, its getting pretty late, you know . Well, you havent introduced us to your lady friend. How do you do . Hi. Hello, darling. Yeah. It is getting late, though. Fred, ill see you. Lamont, take oh, and its nice meeting you, dennis. Denise. Yeah, denise. Denise the menice. Ah ha ha hey, listen, girl. Uh, denise, can i get you something . Oh, no, thank you. Well, would you excuse us for a minute . Sure. En, father . Excuse us. Im just going to have a little involvement with my dad. Hey, man, whats the matter with you . Listen, son, i know everything thats going on here, and thats your business. Oh, i was hoping youd understand. I mean, if you want to stay down here with that girl, thats your business. Thank you. I mean, if you want to be hugging and kissing her all night, thats your business. I appreciate it. But when she smacks your face, and the police come here and arrest me for harboring a sex maniac, then thats my business, hey, man, im not going [whistling] would you knock off the whistling . Its bothering me. [whistling] will you stop it . I cant, son. Its the theme song from the movie i saw last night. See, it was a Science Fiction western. It was called blazing werewolves. See, its all about this werewolf that hid his sixshooter up under a wide flea collar. [knock on door] come in. Hey, mr. Sanford. Mmm. E is up. Would you dig yourself, pop . Listen, as confucius once said, if you dont want an order of knuckles in your face, then get your pork and noodles out my place. Hey, man, ignore him. Ignore who . Ha ha listen, man, i got to tell you. I listened to you last night, and it sounded fantastic. Hat girl out of here. Huh . Thats not what hes talking about, pop. See, i called up the talkback show, and i said a few things, thats all. Thats all . Oh, listen, im telling you, it was terrific, man. The whole neighborhood is talking about it. Whatd you say . Well, i just, you know oh, he was, like, angry. He talked about old people and unemployment and ugly buildings. Ish everybody would leave me alone, man. I got some work to do around here. Ill get this, son. Dont worry about it. Ill make them leave you alone. Dont you worry about a thing. Youre lamont sanford. Yes, sir, i am. Who are you . And youre perfect absolutely perfect. [snaps fingers] hey, wait a minute. I know you. I saw you on television at the last election on the mayors platform. Correct. Uh. Will you hold this for me, please . Ahem. James montgomery cambridge mover of men, past holder of public office, servant to the people. And who are you . Fred g. Sanford mover of junk, present holder of this stinking cigar, and servant to this dummy. Say, why dont you have a seat there, mr. Cambridge . Ou . Correct. And weve learned that the Radio Station reported Public Opinion to your call at 90 positive. And all morning long, my office has been having phone calls, telegrams. Its incredible. Well, thats nice and everything, but its, you know nice . What do you think of that, mr. Sanford, huh . Hold this. Ah. Now shove it up your nose. Lamont, ill get to the point. You are the perfect candidate to run for the office of state assemblyman in this district. Assemblyman . Me . Hey, man, i didnt even graduate from high school. Oh, well, lamont, that doesnt matter. Youre down to earth. You should run for deodorant. Look, i. I appreciate all the nice flowery speeches youre making, mr. Cambridge, but im just not interested. Now, lamont, i beg you to reconsider. Your state is calling you. No, man definitely not. Oh, well, all right. I guess ill just have to cancel your fundraising dinner. Fundraising . Your state is calling you. Now, now, hurry up and answer before they hang up. Uh, ahem. Lamont, by the way, just in passing, an assemblyman does earn about 20,000 a year. My son, serving his country with honesty and youth, serving his voters with integrity and pride, and serving his father with a new truck and a color tv. [knock on door] hey, everybody. Say, lamont, you mind signing these postcards . I promised the fellas down at the barber shop that i would get your autograph. Do you hear that, lamont . Why, every one of those autographs represents a vote. And a dime. You charging a dime for lamonts autograph . No, fred. Thats what they offered. The dime was their idea. Why, thats magnificent. I wanted a dollar. Say, look, wait a minute. Now, this whole thing is getting all out of hand, semblyman and signing autographs. You running for the assembly . Hey, thats terrific, lamont. You can make a fortune. You can make a fortune. Plus, you get 20,000 a year salary. Hey, pop, would you stop it . Just stop it. Mr. Cambridge, the point is, im just not qualified for the job. Qualified . What do you mean, qualified . The man is talking about politics, not brain surgery. At the department of motor vehicles, i took the liberty of having your drivers license photo put onto this poster. Well, it is a nice likeness. A very good likeness. Now, why dont you reconsider it, huh . Come on. Come on, lamont. I mean. Good for this district. All right, ill do it. So, you have decided to answer the call, huh, son . Yep. Mr. Cambridge, my son is going to take the call. You dont never stay home like you used to. Why dont you stay home sometimes so we could talk like we used to sit on the couch and watch television or somethin . You could stay overnight and watch a good horror or somethin. Theres one of those monster pictures on tonight. Your favorite. Its called teenage frankenstein meets the acne doctor. T debate tonight on television with harriet radner. How could you forget that . Well, if you can forget your father, i can forget a television debate. Oh, man. Hey, look, im sorry. Look, i know we havent been spending any time together. But look, i promise you, pop, as soon as all of this is over, well spend a lot of time together, ok . Hey, i got a good idea. Why dont you come down to the television station and watch me . No, thats all right. You go ahead. Ill just stay home, and ill wait in case somebody calls, you know, takin a poll to find out whos the lonesomest old man in town. Well, i gotta be runnin off, pop. Take care now. Aint goin nowhere. Gonna move to sacramento [knock on door] come on in. Hey, fred. Hey, grady. Now, listen, fred. Grady, i dont know what to do. Im gonna miss lamont so much. Yeah, but listen, fred. When he move up to sacramento, ill be in this house all by myself. Yeah, but listen, fred. I feel so low. Listen, fred. And despondent. Fred. I mean, jeez, im just depressed. Well, listen, fred, thethe swingin satler sisters i aint never felt this good. What . The satler sisters comin over here . Yeah, yeah. When they comin over . Well, any minute now. Well, lets get together get some party stuff together. Well, now, i got the party stuff. I went out and got some potato chips and a bag of pretzels and, a. Aa whole bottle of silver sec, and i even got us some cigars, so that we can offer the ladies our tiparillos. What well do, well sit down and pour us a little drink so when they get here, we be lookin cool. Yeah, and suav . Yeah, and swave. Yeah ha ha ha [knock on door] there they are. Our little pigeons. Right on time. 2 little pretty pigeons. Comin. Comin, pretty pigeons. Welcome, my two lovely pigeons. Hey, grady, it must be magic. Our 2 pretty pigeons turned into an ugly buzzard. Just as i thought. Drinkin, smokin, and wallowin in a snake pit of evil. Listen, cobra face. What are you doin here anyway . Thats all right. Dont tell me. I know. You came here to tell me and grady that you came in first m here in my official capacity to tell you that lamont has made me chairman of his committee. Pfft. On morality and virtue. Pfft. Hey shut up, grady your son, as a politician, cannot afford to associate with a evildoin father and his heathenish friends. So from now on, in this house, there will be no more drinkin and no smokin. Praise the lord and pass the ammunition. You go ahead on and break that, honey, cause you wont be needin that no more cause i just saw the satler sisters and sent them away. Grady no, you didnt. You did what . You heard me. Oh, no. Youre right, esther. Iiiive been wrong. Ive listened to you, and imim gonna make a deal with you. Its about time. Im gonna let you put some salvation in my ear. Then im gonna put some lead in yours. Federally funded, lowcost housing few years, and we have yet another ghetto. [applause] [clears throat] thank you, thank you. Inin reply to my honorable all i will say about the housing problem is that it is a problem. Grady wow. But i assure you that myself and my staff will look into the subject with all the diligence at our command. Thank you. [applause] now that the 2 candidates have had a chance to meet each other face to face, well take a one minute break and then come back for the debate. Hey, fred, lamonts doin great. Hes gonna win by a landslide. Yeah, and ill be under it. Lamont dont care about me no more. Oh, come on, fred. I mean, hell move to sacramento and leave me in that house all by myself. Oh, now, dont say that. You know what . Im gonna leave. Sir, sir, excuse me, sir. No, fred, dont. I couldnt help overhearing. Um, did you have something to say . Somethin to say . Uh. Yall want somethin to say . Or something to say to one of the candidates. You see, were newsmen, and we like to hear somethin thats newsworthy. Oh, youre newsmen. Thats right, sir. Yeah, i got somethin to say toto the candidate. I just wanna say it to the honorable and distinguished dummy here. You go right ahead, sir. I know i asked you to be an assemblyman for the money, but i dont want you to be an assemblyman for the money. Come home. You make a better junkman. Sir, sir, uh, are you related to mr. Sanford . Damn right im related to him im his long lost father i see. Come on home, son. Sir . Sir, excuse me. You, uh, you do realize that were on television. Ihuh . Were on television, sir. Wewe on television now . Uh, yes, sir. That camera right there. Eeeverything we said was on television . Yes, sir. Everything. Andand its live now. Right there, sir. Yall excuse me a minute. Can you back up a little bit . Yes, sir. . More than words can say . . If i didnt care . . Would i feel this way . . Where you goin . Somewhere. Anywhere. Dont make no difference. You dont care. Aw, come on, pop. Thats right. You dont care. You gonna move to sacramento, and there aint nothin here for me. I might as well just walk outside that door and fade on into the sunset. Look, i do care, man. Ive withdrawn my candidacy, ive quit. Yeah, you quit because i embarrassed you. Yes, you embarrassed me, but, look, i finally realized that i wasnt qualified, man. What the people need is somebody that knows whats going on in the community, and that person is harriet radner. I think shell make a fine assemblywoman, and its not your fault. It is my fault, too. Its all my fault. I feel like just walking down the street aw, come on, pop. I think ill stop by sanctified city and pour my soul out to reverend spike. Well, if you think itll make you feel better. Itll make me feel better, son. Hey, fred, will you please come on . Our pretty little pigeons are waiting out here in the truck really