Disease foundation, im collecting in the neighborhood. Good luck. Sir, wont you at least hear me out . I gave at the office. Well, isnt this your office . Well, that depends. Its my office, also my home. A mans home is hisastle. Thats why im asking you to leave cause i dont want no hassle in my castle. One day, you may be sorry you didnt give. It wont be today. You talking to . Nobody. Just somebody collecting for Heart Disease. Well, did you give him anything . Im not in favor of Heart Disease. You talk to him, im going to fix me some breakfast. Say, brother say, could you come back in the house for a minute . Thank you. Hey, look. Im sorry if my old man gave you a hard time, but, you know, he gets kinda cranky. Its quite all right. Im used to it. Most people dont seem to realize how wide spread Heart Disease really is like my father . Yes. Heart disease is the number one killer in america, but actually, most heart attacks and related ailments, such as strokes, are caused from hypertension. Do you know that hypertension afflicts 30 to 40 of the black population in america over 30 years of age . For every black american that dies from sickle cell anemia, over 100 will die from a heart attack. No, i didnt know that. Yes. Say, listen, blood, why dont you come in here and sit down. I want to ask you some questions. All right. Is it possible for somebody to have, say, 3 or 4 heart attacks a day . [laughs] no, i sure doubt it. After the second one, theyd probably be dead. No, one big one and its all over. Then its not likely that a person could average, say, 26 big ones a week, huh . No, no. Thats unbelievable. Yeah, i thought so, too. Now, if this person claims to have that many attacks, his person have a heart attack . Oh, yeah. All the time. This person is, uh, like a father to me. Does this person complain about a tightening in the chest . A pain in the Left Shoulder and arm . Dizziness . Nausea . All of that. Uhhuh. Well, then, if i were you, i would have this person thoroughly examined after the next attack. That way, if its really a heart attack, it will show up when theyre given an electrocardiogram test. Well, do you know a place where you could get one of these tests . Oh, yeah, certainly. I think i have it here somewhere. Our lady of the leaves hospital. Oh, yeah. I know that. Mmhmm. They have a cardiac Alert Department there that admits patients 24 hours a day. Oh, hey, thank you very much, brother. Thats all right. Hey, look. You might not notice, but youve saved a very valuable life. Oh, you mean this persons . No, mine. Here you go. Heres a dollar for the heart fund. Ha ha thank you very much. On second thought, i feel generous. Make it 2. Aw, thank you. You know, if i could meet 30 million more people as generous as you, well, good luck. All right. Ok. Hey, pop, you know, i was shh what are you doing . Im trying to hear if this cereal really goes snap, crackle, and pop. I can hear my snap and my crackle, but they beat me outta some of my pop. Uh, say, look. I was gonna wait till tonight to tell you this, but i dont think i should. Im gonna have to lay it on you now. If its bad news, tell me tomorrow. Well, you remember you was the one that always told me never to put off for tomorrow wait a minute. I never did finish that. I wanted to say, never put off for tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. So, tell me the day after tomorrow. No, im gonna lay it on you now. Brace yourself, pop. You braced . Im braced. All right. Here it is. Im getting married. You what . im getting married. Whwhat happened . Did youdid you make some girl pregnant . Something like this to yourself . When did you decide to do all this . See, ive been thinking about it for a long time now, but i just recently decided to do it. Well, is it Evelyn Rogers . No. Well, did i ever meet her . Yeah, you met her once. Her name is maria. Maria . You dont mean magic fingers maria down at this massage parlor on manchester and main . No, her name is maria fuentes. Shes julios sister. Youjulio, who live over there with the goat . That julio . One and the same. You mean to stand there and tell me youre gonna marry a puerto rican . Thats right. Oh, no oh, yes. Its already been arranged. But look on the bright side of it, pop. When we have our first son, well name him after you. Well call him fredrico. Little fredrico manuel oh, no wait, man dont say that. You hear that, elizabeth . Im comin to join ya, honey. With an invitation to a puerto rican wedding. Aah whats the matter, pop . Im having a heart attack, thats whats the matter. Are you sure its a heart attack . Yeah, im sure its a heart attack. Well, we better get right on down to the hospital. Come on. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hospital . I aint goin to no hospital. But, pop, you need medical attention. I dont need no medical attention. Yes, you do man, you need medical expert treatment. Now, they got a cardiac Alert Department not too far from here he leaves hospital. Now, come on. Lets go. No, i dont need to go to the hospital. Im fine. Just give me a glass of our ripple of the grapes. You had a heart attack, didnt you . Now, come on. Wait a minute. Where you say youre taking me . I already told you, man. Im taking you to the hospital. Now, well find out how bad your heart is once they give you that electrocardiogram test. Now, come on no, wait a minute. Aint nobody gonna put no electric cards on my heart. Forget that. Pop, its painless. Now, come on listen, let me go. Ohh that was nice and painless pop, its a precautionary measure. Now, one day, youre gonna thank me for this. Now, come on. Lets go. [mumbles] wait a minute. Wait a minute. Now i really feel bad. What is it, pop . Is it another is it another heart attack . Then we better hurry up. Ohh, wait a minute. Its not that, son. Its those pig feet and butter beans. Well, come on, then. Now, come on, pop. Its gonna be painless. Now, just relax. Now, look, heres your room. 393. [man moaning] ohh well, come on. Lets go. Oh, hell, no. I aint goin in there just go in there. No. Did you see that man . Get in there now. Just relax. This is gonna help you out. Everythings gonna be fine. Now, just relax. Is everything all right . It was. Everything is fine, nurse. Hes just an old man. Hes a little upset at being in a hospital. Thats a lie. Im a whole lot upset. Mr. Sanford, these tests are for your own good, but you arent compelled to take them. Im not . Of course not. Bye. Oh, no, you dont. Now, youre gonna stay in this hospital and get those tests. Now, this is a nice room, pop. Youll be comfortable here. cause i hate hospitals. I hate the smell of hospitals. All them smell like lysol. They even cook with lysol. [sniffs] lysol. Well, you wont be here very long. We should have all of your tests completed in a few hours. Here. You can slip this on and ill be back to see you in a few minutes. Why do i have to slip this thing on . Whats that . Sounds like the gentleman in the bed over there. Ohh ohh hey, man hey will you shut up . Just shut up. This is a hospital. People are in here sick. Hey, pop, look at yourself. Man, the mans obviously sick or he wouldnt be in a hospital. Hes probably here because his hearts acting up on him. Now, how you know that . Well, because Heart Disease is very common nowadays. Did you know that hypertension and Heart Disease i didnt know that. I thought it was the police. [no audio] well, youre not gonna have to worry about any more heart attacks, pop, cause theyll probably give you some miracle drug to fix you right up. Drug . Then ill be a dope fiend. I wont be fred sanford the junk man. Ill be fred sanford the junkie. Hey, pop, you gotta think positive, man. Rest and take it easy, and ill do all the work. Well, lets just say for some strange reason, the tests prove that i dont have a bad heart. Well, in that case, youll be able to do some of the work around the house like sweepin and dustin and moppin and washin that truck and cleanin out those cabinets and hangin curtains and takin those things down that are supposed to be ohh now i really feel bad. Wheres the pain, pop . Is it in your heart . It was in my heart. But after lookin at you 2, it moved further down. John, were giving you a raise. Thats fantastic but im gonna pass. Are you ok . Honey, you got another present. No thank you, dad. Time warner cable internet gives you more of what you and those little data hoggers want. Like ultrafast speeds up to 300 megs. Thats 50x faster than dsl. This Internet Speed is sick. Get 50 meg internet starting at 39. 99 a month. Call now. And with home wifi, the whole family can be online at once. G reat for kids to stream scary shows while not cleaning their room. Youll also get our exclusive 1hour arrival window, a moneyback guarantee, and theres no contract to sign. No data cap starting at 39. 99 a month. Plus, free installation and access to over 500,000 twc wifi . Hotspots nationwide. Would rex pass up more beef stew . I dont think so. Give me my clothes i wanna go home [banging on bed] sir, whats the matter . Oh, hello, darling. Are you all right . I could hear you all the way up the hall. Yeah, i was going a little stir crazy, but im all right now. Is there anything i can do to make you more comfortable . Uh, yeah. Why dont you get a few more of them screens, t sound like a very sick man to me, you know. And im not gonna act like no sick man. Ok, i tell you what. Now, if you promise to behave and to be quiet, you get a nice backrub. Would you like that . Do a hog love slop . I like it from top to bottom, bottom to top. From side to side. Any way you wanna rub it would be all right with me. Ok, its a deal, but you gotta promise to be quiet. My lips are sealed. Ok. With a crowbar each couldnt tear my lips apart. Come right in, darling. And let your fingers do the walking through my classified section. Whwhats this . I thought you wanted a backrub . Help let me out of here give me my clothes i gotta get out of here mr. Sanford, youre gonna have to keep your voice down. This is a hospital, you know. I know its a hospital. And youre the one making people sick in here. Help get me out of here i gotta go home come on, mr. Sanford. Believe me, we want you to be tested and out of here sooner than you do. Maybe you would like a mild tranquilizer to relax you. No, just give me 2 bottles of ripple youre a sight for sore eyes. You can leave now, honey. I got company visiting. Aww, fred. Fred, aww. Fred whats the matter with you . Whats the matter with you, grady . You sick . [crying] oh, fred. Heres a toilet right here. But please use the one down the hall. No, fred. Your son told me that you were in here with a bad heart. It, fred . What are you talking about, grady . First there was Wardell Jackson die. And then junior cooper died. They say it comes in 3s, fred. I guess youre number 3. [crying] grady, will you shut up and listen to me . Im not sick. Oh, goodness. Thats just what eelie who magee said he yelled right out, i am not sick and he rolled right outta that bed and died. Listen, grady. Listen, grady. Maybe you didnt hear me last time. Now, listen to me clear, you hear . Im only gonna say it one more time. I am not sick. Well, once they get you in here, theyll find something wrong with you. And theyll put it right on that chart there at the foot of your bed. Now, look, grady. You better go ahead and leave, now, you hear . cause youre really makin me sick. [crying] ok, fred. Iill go on. But, fred, let me look at ya one more time. So i can remember you how you were. I just dont like what them undertakers do to you. All that lipstick and rouge. [talking indistinctly] thats all you man ohh ohh hey, man, will you shut up . You and grady are both making me sick. Aint nobody can be that sick. Or could he . Mr. Sanford . Are you awake . Your son is here to see you. How you feeling, pop . Oh, i feel pretty bad, son. You know, you did the right thing when you brought me here. Oh, yeah . Uhhuh. Yeah, i bet you they found a whole lot of stuff wrong with me. And then again, they might not. But just in case they dont, ive made up a little list of things for you to do around the house when you get back home. Huh . Like washing the windows and cleaning the truck and washing the floors and well, i dont wanna bore you with that now. Ill show it to you when you get home. Yeah, son. You know, if i ever get back home, ill do all the stuff you want me to do right now, but just in case i dont get back, youll understand why i didnt do it. Oh, yeah. If they find something seriously wrong with you. You, know, once youre out of here, say, i thought it was the one next to the wall, didnt you . No, its this one. It is . Yes, sir. Youre going for a little ride. Not until you tell me where. And give me a roundtrip ticket. Thats what happened on television the other night in public enemy. They took james cagney for a little ride and they didnt stop till they got to the cemetery. Hey, pop, just relax. Now, they probably came to take you for your tests. Isnt that right . Didnt you come to take him for his tests . Tests . No, its a little more than that. It is . It is . Yeah, it sure is. According to this uh, listen, can we talk out in the hall for a minute . Sure. No, no, no. No, you just stay here and rest, pop. Its gonna be all right. No, no, no. Itll be all right. Listen, i brought my father in for some simple tests on his heart. Now, whats going on . Where are you taking him . Were taking him to surgery. Surgery . Due in surgery in 20 minutes. Well, listen, are you 100 sure of this . Look, ill be 200 sure, if you want. Ok, well, can i have a few minutes with him alone before you take him away . Sure. What is it, son . Im sorry, pop. I didnt know, man. I owe you an apology. You didnt know what . What are you looking at me like that for . Pop, i got a confession to make, man. When i told you i was getting married, i lied. Im not getting married. I just told you that so youd have a heart attack, so i could get you in the hospital to have these tests. You big, coldblooded dummy i know that, pop, and im sorry for it. But i didnt know how serious you were i didnt know how sick you were. I told you i was sick, didnt i . Next time, youll believe me when i tell you, wont you . And take it easy because everythings gonna be all right, ok . Now, just sit back and relax, pop. I cant relax. Hey, wait a minute, man. What yall doin . Hey, wait a minute. Get your hands off my legs, mister. Hey, wait a minute. Brother, youre a brother. Dont be doing this. There must be some mistake, son. Listen, pop i can explain it to you. Pop, pop. Pop. Listen, pop. Listen, pop. Whatever it takes to get you out of here, youre gonna get it, i promise you, pop. No, but wait a minute, son, where are they taking me . Theyre taking you to surgery, pop. To whogery . Uhuh. To surgery. They gotta operate on you. Aint nobody op on me. Put me down, man just relax, pop now take it easy. [all yelling at once] whats the problem in here . Wait a minute, wait a minute. May i ask you a personal question . Who are you . Im dr. Jameson, chief of surgery. Now, whats the trouble . Well, doc, let me explain it here well, listen, doctor, they say theyre taking my father to surgery and i just brought him in here e on his heart . Youre not even close. Its not his heart. Then what is it . Hes scheduled for a removal of hemorrhoids. Take him away now. Wait a minute, doc wait a minute [yelling indistinctly] say, doctor, are you are you sure there isnt some mistake . I mean, i didnt know anything about my father having hemorrhoids. Well, thats whats indicated on his chart, mr. Banks. What . Your father is lester banks, isnt he . Yeah. Yeah. And you were gonna let them give me that operation, too, werent you . Yeah, well, it would have served you right for switching those bed charts like that. Hey, you know something, pop . We never did get those tests taken, man. I think we should go back to the hospital. I aint goin to no hospital. I feel fine. Well, then, dont turn on that tv set. If youre well enough to watch tv, youre well enough to do the work around here. Work . What work . You know what i had on that list, like sweepin and moppin and dustin and cleanin out that truck. Ohh oh, son, im just havin serious arthritis. Ooh oh, really . An attack. Hey, you know what . Itll be just perfect for the broom. Ohh what is it, pop . Is it the big one . No, its a whole lot of little ones. But its weakening me. All right, then. Lets get on down to that hospital. Hospital . Yeah. Nevermind. Captioning made possible by Sony Pictures television