This has been a day to remember. Mindy was such a beautiful bride. But, cora, theyre honeymooning on ork. Why cant they go to the poconos . Well, i think its exciting to go to another planet. Id rather have a frontal lobotomy. Well, go for it. Its almost time to blast off. Mindy, honey, wont you reconsider . Were talking about space travel here going off to some strange planet. Oh, dad. Its where mork grew up. He just wants to share it with me. [ humming title theme from 2001 a space odyssey ] . Dahmm . . Dahhm . Thats a catchy tune. I wish i could remember the words. Are those special glasses to shield our eyes from the ultraviolet rays . No, i just bought them cause theyre gnarly. Yeah, thats great, mork. You cant let this man pilot you through space. He doesnt even have a drivers license. Come on, now, pops. I have been to the 4 corners of the universe, i have charted 16 solar systems, and i can refold a road map correctly. Theres another thing, mork. She got sick in her baby carriage. Come back, little neener pooter. Dont worry about her. Were traveling firstclass. [ beeping, whistling ] [ buzzing ] its here, mind. Oh, boy were going to go in style we are going to go oh, shazbat. They sent the compact model. Oh, well. Well just have to make do. Just a minute, mork. I have prepared for everything. Ive packed plenty of dramamine and tang. Has anyone seen my dramamine and tang . I packed it. My wife i think ill keep her. I packed a lunch for you, and theres a piece of your wedding cake in there, too. Oh, thanks, grandma. Well both bring you back something from ork. Where are you going to stay up there . Were going firstclass, grandma. Well, just remember, mork. Thats pretty valuable cargo there. Youre right. I really am proud of this suitcase. He meant me. Dont you worry. Your little girl is in very good hands. Dont touch that youll kill us all good evening and welcome to air orks intergalactic traveler y huevos grandes. Of the total lack of Safety Measures on this flight. First of all, we have no exits either front, back, or sides. In case of emergency, a brown paper bag will fall from the ceiling which means absolutely nothing. On this flight, our inflight movie will be the high and the mighty and fate is a lonely hunter. [ imitating spanish ]. Airport 79. [ sighs ] mind mind, wake up . Were here. Oh, mork, ork is beautiful. Well, yeah. Just think me, mindy mcconnell, the first woman in space. There was a russian lady. Youre the first that shaves. Arent we going awfully fast . Yeah. Yeah, mind. Isnt it a kick . Pity. Welcoming you to squelman the yellow memorial airport. There will be a brief delay due to the controllers strike. Dont stand up until weve completely docked at the gate, and observe the no screaming signs. [ beeping ] oh, mork, ork is just amazing. I mean, this hotel. Everythings just so futuristic. This is one of the old, downtown hotels, mind. You should see the ones on the strip. What are we going to do first . I want to do everything well go see my old neighborhood, if you dont mind digging with your hands. Nanu. Ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar whats that all about . Thats our version of the national enquirer. Youre going to be kind of a celebrity because theyve never seen an earthling before. Theres going to be a little giggling and gawking, like an Alexander Haig press conference. Nanu [ speaking orkan ] i suddenly feel very tired and very outofplace. Lets just go to our room. [ speaking orkan ] ar ar ar ar ar ar what did you say . I told them you werent that contagious. I said you were housebroken, too. May i help you . Yes. We have reservations under the name of mork. Mind, why are you talking to him . He asked about our reservations. Thats a penguin. They dont talk. And hardly ever take reservations. Yes, mork . This must be your wife [ sneeringly ] the earthling. Well, it takes all kinds. Wed like the very special room overlooking the ice machine. The room wont be ready for 30 microblimps. Nanu, nanu. Doesnt he look amazingly like elton john, mind . Orson carries a lot of weight around here. Couldnt we get him to lean on this snippy little guy . Im your husband. I dont need orsons weight. Besides, i have a lot of clout around here. I used to be the dinner diver in the lobster tank. Wait right here. Okay, ill just. Browse. Hello. Ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar im new here. Why do i feel like the elephant man . Ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar excuse me on earth, we dont poke people we dont date. Ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar ar [ shrill beeping ] [ man speaking orkan ] oh, no, officers. They didnt mean any harm. Im sure theyve just never wait a minute mork wait im an american help mork help [ chattering in orkan ] [ speaking orkan ] min. Min, ive arranged for the room, hon. Peekaboo oh, i hope she didnt go in the pool. It hasnt eaten yet today. Would you say no to a lot more money . [excited scream] you just won a Million Dollars no thanks. Nice balloons, though or no to more Vacation Days . Janet, im giving you an extra weeks vacation what . No way. Who says no to more . Time warner cables all about giving you more. Like the most free hd channels and virtually unlimited movies and shows on demand, so you can binge all day. Call now. And dont forget the free tv app. Get ultrafast internet with secure home wifi to connect all your devices. Saving on mobile data fees, helps big time. Switch to time warner cable. For 89. 99 a month youll get free hd channels, 100 meg internet and unlimited calling to we can call aunt rose as much as we want now. Switching is easy. Get our exclusive 1hour arrival window, a moneyback guarantee with no contract to sign. Plus get free installation, tv equiment and epix included. Really . Honest. No. Hello . Police . My wife is missing. Shes an earthling. Shell be the only one who knows who claude akins is. Oh, never mind. Thank you anyway. Oh, min. Oh, mork oh, min, are you all right . I was dragged out of here by the space cadets, they paraded me around and asked me all these questions i didnt understand, and then they gave me this. I guess its some sort of a visa or something. That wasnt a customs office. That was a pet show. What . you didnt do too badly you took 4th place. A pet show . im so humiliated. I know. You should have at least won in the obedience class. Oh, mind, i dont know what [ speaking orkan ] thank you. Oh, mind, im really sorry about that. I wanted to make the honeymoon very special. Oh, mork, its not your fault. Its just been such a long trip. And our rooms werent ready. [ whining ] and 4th place mind mind [ speaking orkan ] i just need some rest. Lets go to our room. I love your attitude. Youre hanging in there with me. No wonder they call you the better half. The rooms are all set to go. Lets go upstairs, and well play newlyweds. You know count our savings bonds. This is an intergalacticclass hotel. They modify each room to satisfy the needs of the specific alien. Its going to be like any ramada inn on earth, right down to the little paper sash on the commode. Mork, its customary to be carried over the threshold. L right, mind, but im a little heavy. No, not you. Oh. Thanks, mork. That was real romantic. [ door closes ] well, mind, this is just like any room on earth theres lots of rooms ive seen on earth with floor paper and wall rugs. Ceiling chairs. Oh, mork. It looks like it was decorated by foolsrus oh, mind, how could they do this to me . Too much coffee, tom . Mork, its all right. It is . No, but youre distraught. Well talk about it later. Oh, mind, i just wanted our honeymoon to be something very, very special. Oh, i know. Look, the important thing is that were together, and it is our honeymoon. In the dictionary, it says compassionate see you. [ laughs ] i love you, mork. I love you, mind. [ dong ding ] dong ding . Dong ding . They can even screw up a doorbell. Maybe its the bellhops with our luggage. Do you tip bellhops here on ork . No, theyre robots if you tip them, they cant get back on their feet. Surprise surprise oh, gosh, mind its the peevee clones, six and seven nice to meet you. Whatever that is. Ha ha ha ha ha ha we heard you were back and could hardly wait to get up here. Six thought it would be funny if we brought in your luggage. We had to tip the robot. Hes still out there. Yeah, hes out there, his little feet just flailing away. Oh, mind, the clones and i, we go way back. We used to sneak into the School Bathroom and tell, like, jokes. Well, you know, i got caught for being funny and thats why i was sent to earth. Ar ar ar wait till you hear our latest orson joke. This is really going to short your circuits. Okay, watch those sides. Here it goes. Orson is a big. Fatso fatso ha ha ha ha ha ha i can see why you were the only one caught. Come on, six, we might as well make ourselves at home. Might as well. We got a lot of catching up for mork to do. Hey, mork, your human friend how many earthlings does it take to screw in a light bulb . I dont know. How many earthlings does it take to screw in a light bulb . One one ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha [ sighs ] well. Theyre gone, mind. That didnt hang on as long as the peevee clones. I thought theyd take the hint when we put on our nightgowns. I thought theyd take the hint when we told them to get out, especially after they referred to me as your creature. Well. I guess were alone now. I guess so. [ chuckles ] [ giggles ] t way. On our honeymoon night. Yep. Sure is dark. Sure is. Well, its our wedding night. I better not put this off any longer, huh . I guess not. . Bette davis eyes . night, mind. What was that . thats the ancient orkan honeymoon ritual. The honeymoon ritual is a little different on earth. Whats different, mind . No mask . Hardly. I told him he was crazy. Thats one for dad. Read this. Now . Please. Cute pictures. Just read, mork. Mmhmm. Yep. Whoa ha ha okay, all done. Is there anything you dont understand . No. Clear as a bell, mind. Im just going to step in the bathroom for just a minute. Mork mork, are you all right . Did that book upset you . No not at all really, mind im just going to sleep on the bathroom floor tonight, maybe forever. Mork, youre my husband. Im not going to let you sleep in the bathroom. Im going to come in there and get you. N the door come on, mork. Come out of there. Mork mork . All right. Im coming in there. Mork mork, come back here dont run away mork oh we should have gone to Niagara Falls mork . Mork, where are you . I know youre here someplace. Mork, this is our honeymoon. Is this really the way you want to start out our marriage . Mork [ chinese accent ] mork not here right now mork, will you come out here, please . I need to talk to you. [ normal voice ] i cant, mind. [ southern accent ] he cant you knew it was me all along, didnt you . Im psychic. Well, i wasnt really running away. I just like to hyperventilate alone. You know, mork, i think i realize for the first time how you must feel on earth. I dont know how you cope. Ive got you to take care of me. Oh. I havent told you this, but, you know, i think ork is really a lovely planet. The three moons are very romantic. Mmhmm. And this garden its beautiful. These flowers almost look exactly like earth roses. They should look exactly like earth roses ive been sending them here for three years now. I wanted to share a little bit of earths beauty with ork. Thats so nice. Theyre not as beautiful as you are, though. Oh, thanks. Now, you want to tell me whats bothering you . Im scared. Oh, mork. Come over here. Oh, mork, everyones scared of getting married. Its a new experience. Its a normal emotion. Sure. Oh, mork, just think someday we might have children, and im scared to death of that. But i know youll be there to help me get through it. See, the really wonderful thing about marriage is you have a friend who loves you and a partner who helps you through the rough times. [ stem snaps, siren wails ] uhoh. Trouble, mind. Picking that rose would be the same on earth as if you plucked one of Brooke Shields eyebrows. Back in the room again. Looks that way. Looks that way. Well, back in the room again. Sounds like a Willie Nelson song. Wanna watch a little tv, min . Orson knows best is on. You know, mork, until today to be a stranger on a strange planet. But as bizarre and as scary as ork has been to me at least ive been here with you. [ imitating Humphrey Bogart ] you got that, kid. Its just you and me, schweetheart. Clones guess again [ laughing ] [ laughing ] theyre back. Nono, mind. That was peevee clones 6 and 7. These are 1 and 2 the originals. You want to hear our latest orson joke . E sides. Here it goes orson is a big fatso. [ laughing ] [ laughing ] ar ar ar ar ar ar mork fatso ar ar ar you didnt laugh the first time. I know, min, but i just got it oh, honey, your delivery is incredible. Fatso just the way you said fatso [ together ] shes fuuunny you think shes funny waitll you read this why dont you just check that one out for about a week and let me know when you figure it out. Whoa blewewew rikarika ruka ruka whew. Gone. Theyre gone. Here we are in the room again. Yeah. Looks that way. Uhmhm. I just want you to know, i think i understand your earth customs. You do . Yeah. And i really do care. Oh, mork. Just one thing mork youre doing great. Just stay in your lane. We should really send orson a nice thankyou note. My favorite part was waking up in the morning and seeing you laying there next to me and knowing for the rest of my life ill wake up to every morning. Ditto, mind. Ive got one thing to say to you meteor ohh ohh ohh [ southern accent ] i feel so nauseous. My stomach feels like cat drool on a dog lip. This seltzer shall be the eraser on the blackboard of life. It shall help me. Why am i talking like a character in a Tennessee Williams play . I dont know. What does it matter . [ as surfer ] wow, what a head rush, for sure [ normal voice ] so more tiny bubbles than a don ho medley. Good morning. My little hugger squash. Happy onemonth anniversary to you. Onemonth anniversary . Styrofoam. I bought you a boogieboard. Thats romantic. I have a surprise for you. The Hammond Family is doing a tv special in boulder, and i get to cover the dress rehearsal. I thought you might want to come. The Hammond Family . The allamerican hammonds . I especially love donna and mario. Theyre my favorite thats wonderful i pass. Pass . mork, its our anniversary. I know, but ive got millions of things to do. Ence card to morris the cats mother. At least come down and have lunch with me. I said i was busy whoowhoo arent we snippy today . Im sorry. You know how i get before the opening of trout season. Well have a lovely dinner tonight. Okay. I accept your apology. I gotta run. Ill see you after work. Bye. Big kiss. Bye, little pooter. [ sighs ] [ squeals like cat ] my stomach feels like it has a Greek Orthodox wedding going on in it. [ exidor imitating siren ] doctor, is that you . patient is that you . Mork, im glad you called. I dont ordinarily make house calls. I had to make an exception in this case. I dont have an office. Exidor, i dont feel very well go no further. Open your mouth wide. Nurse ryan, will you come in please . Well, what are you gawking at . hmm 315. Thats a tad high, mork. It would be perfect if i were a rump roast. Exidor, do something, just as long as i dont have to have anything shaved. Relax. You better turn your head. This might hurt a little. Ow damn, im good exidor, i feel strange, yet wonderful. I feel kind of achy, and i have cravings for teflon bananas. What is it . Either youre turning into billy martin or youre pregnant. Ththats it im preggers. Ive got a bun in the oven. Nonsense and thats me saying it no, no, no you dont understand. You really dont understand. I think i could be pregnant. Its possible. If it is, its a miracle. Every patient thinks that their case is special all right, im into my consultation mode. Well talk it over. Just sit here. I feel so weak in the knees. Mork. Im pregnant. Im really pregnant. I cant wait to tell mindy and omni magazine. Sician and doubles partner, i suggest that you break it to your wife gently. And work on that serve. Oh nngh i just felt a sharp pain, exidor. Nngh another one, too. What does it mean . It means youre in labor, and im playing singles. Ohh ohh ohh ooh yohhhh ohh ohh my little bundle of joy oh oh, look my little bundle of oh, say hello to the world i dont know if its a boy or a girl. We wont know till it hatches. Oh, thats wonderful and look, i have a navel and no stretch marks either. Oh. Hello, little nooner. Im a mother. Im gonna give you everything except for an oedipus complex. And i can read Harlequin Books now and stay up all night for no reason. Neener neener neener. Smile say cheese whiz there you go mindys gonna love you. If i get enough nerve to tell her you were born. Mindy im home. Naptime. Here we go. Hi. Ive got this great idea how to make our onemonth anniversary even better than our threeweek anniversary. You cant really top andy warhols 3d hamlet. [ with lisp ] oh, what a rogue and peasant slave am i. Interesting. Were gonna get all dressed up, and were gonna go out and do something weve never done before. [ normal voice ] you put on your prom dress, and ill put on my mr. Peanut outfit. Then we can have a candid, sober discussion about family. I want to go out and do something romantic. I know lets go out and make angels in the snow like they did in love story. The really sad thing about that movie was that she became an angel before she ever had a family. You know whats making a big, romantic comeback . The family unit. Hammond family all nine of them. Lets just go out, you and me. I mean, were young, were in love, were newlyweds. Maybe we should have a little t . Te . T . Te, and then sit down and talk. Whats wrong with going out and just having some good, oldfashioned fun . We could talk in latin if you want. [ speaks latin ] min, how can we lead such frivolous lives when you consider whats going on trouble in el salvador, cruise missiles. Bad line calls against john mcenroe, and the family. Why do you keep bringing up family . Id like to have one, min. Right now. Oh. Look, mork, i want to have a family someday just as badly as you do. But a familys something you plan for. Were just starting out. Were not ready, emotionally or financially. And yours well, this is america. If we had a baby right now, it wouldnt be fair to the child. Maybe down the road a bit. Lets just go out and have a good time. You dont understand. Time is of the essence. Pakistan has the bomb, and all they have to do is roll it down the hill. Mork, we just got married. Its the time for the two of us. So lets just work on that awhile, all right . Im gonna go get changed, and then maybe go for a sleigh ride. And then maybe come home and thaw each other out. Theres got to be some way we can get you and mindy together. Too bad its not easter, huh . Mindy mork, do you know what time it is . Min, i swear i heard somebody. I didnt hear anything. [ knocks ] there it is again. Who could it be . The late scores. Theres nobody there. Good night. It might be claude rains, min. Good night. Hey, you, come back here [ imitating woman ] no, mister, take good care of it [ normal voice ] look somebody left a baby on our doorstep. Did somebody leave a a baby . Its just an egg. Shouldnt we not be prejudiced . Look theres a note down here, too. Ive left my child because i know youll take good care of it. Youre good, kind, understanding people especially you, mindy. Lets see. Its about 2 30 a. M. Yeah, i think thats a good time for an explanation. All right, mind. Um, this is merely conjecture, of boston by her w. A. S. P. Parents. [ snobbishly ] muffy, tad and i believe that you have to leave, but weve packed you a few shirts and your penny loafers. [ normal voice ] she wanders around, selling her own hair and a few springsteen tickets to raise enough money to buy milk for her child. The truth. You want the truth . Ill give you the truth v . Rit . In your hand, you are holding our child. Okay. Thats enough for tonight. This things going back in the refrigerator. Min, min, min, min the world is cold enough as it is. Daddy didnt mean that. This would be one of your better jokes, except men dont have babies, and they cant lay eggs. Min, min, min, you know that i am a test tube child without a navel. Let me show you here. Whats that . See, mind . What . wait a minute well, you me no you mean you mean you and i when and i and then you and here it is . you should work for readers digest, min. No no, no, no, no, no. No. No. Oh, no. I have to sit down. Oh, no. All right. Assuming that i am not dreaming and that is our child, what is that gonna be . i dont know, min. But hes gonna have his own affirmative action program. I dont think there is anything that has happened to me in my life that is our child. Not even the twilight zones ive watched. Min, you told me it wasnt the right time, so i tried to find other parents for it. And then i realized, the best parents in the whole world would be you and i. Min, we love this. Can we keep him, hmm . Can we, min, hmm . Can we, hmm . Well, of course well keep it, mork. Id love anything you and i made together. Min, you werent too crazy about that bookcase. That was different. Min, at last we have someone we can cherish and have someone to contest our will and someone we can put medication out of reach of. Min, is something wrong . Why would you say that . Ive never seen anyone grit their back before. Yo there we go. No, everythings great. Saying she doesnt spend a lot of money on new dishes. I dont know, mork. Its just that i had this insane idea that when you and i decided to plan a family, i would be the one who had the baby. I dont know. Maybe i i looked forward to knowing there was a baby inside and craving strange foods and getting fat and not being able to see my feet. Just because youre not the mother doesnt mean it doesnt need your love. I know, mork. Oh, min. Come on. Youre going to be the prettiest, softest father a kid ever had. Thanks. Iii just need some time to get used to this. Its just. Pretty strange. Min. I think you better hurry, min. Athlete on steroids. [ gasps ] didnt know i could knit, huh . [ gasps ] amazing, with a little love, how much you can grow. What is in that egg . i dont know, min, but i hope its healthy. When do you think its going to arrive . In about 24 hours. [ gasps ] 24 hours elephants get two years i get 24 hours . it takes longer than that to get peking duck. [ thud ] boy, he can sure kick, mind. Are you related to bruce lee . I guess theres not much for me to do with this birth. Come on, min. Youve got to be a parent, too. Now, come over here and touch it. Just pat it. Put your arms around it. Have you hugged your egg today . Oh, mork, i feel silly. Come on, come on, come on. Its nice and warm. It should be. I sat on it all night. I can hear a heartbeat. Why dont you talk to it . You talk to your plants, including that little wandering jew. [ yiddish accent ] where are we today . I dont know. [ normal voice ] come on. Mother uh, your father one of your parents. I feel like shari lewis without lambchop. Isnt it wonderful . Were parents now. We get to say things like, dont put that in your mouth you dont know where its been thats true. Have you thought of a name yet . Well, yeah. Id kind of like to name it beth, after my mother. If its a girl. And it doesnt have wings. Certain sentimental attachment to a name if its a boy. Whats that . Rodan. No, i dont think so. A little too ethnic . How about jennifer or maybe mustaffah joaquim . How are we going to explain to people that you laid an egg . And that we hatched a baby . And only after one month of marriage . Federales federales shh who is it . Bickley a sad and desperate man. Oh, no, its mr. Bickley uh, well be right there. Were not decent. I dont want to see you, i want to talk to you. What do we do . The bedroom we have company, min. I meant the egg i was just trying to give a little comic relief to these moments of tension. Easy, easy. Gently, gently. Uh, well be right there. Be careful ohh uhoh oh, no why do i feel like were at a Company Picnic on saturn . [ crackling ] i think its starting to crack ill stay here with the egg. I think its almost time, though. I hope this rolling hasnt turned him into a quiche. Hi, mr. Bickley. Oh. What a nice suit. Thanks. Im about to be buried in it. Oh, mr. Bickley, you dropped in at a bad time. I was in the middle of please, mindy, i dont want to talk about it. Oh. Then i respect your feelings. Bye. I met darinda at a club med luau. The second i laid eyes on her, i knew i had to make her mine. Sure, she was a lot younger than me, but she loved older men. Oh, thats too bad, mr. Bickley. Wheres mork . oh, uh, morks in the bedroom having breakfast. [ egg crackling ] rice krispies. Hi, bick. It all started when i met darinda at a club med luau. She told me she loved me. [ crackling ] what what is that noise . Oh, im just listening to my exorcist soundtrack. Little lindas head is just starting to spin around. Min, can you give me a little moral support, maybe a ballpeen hammer . Whats going on thats more important than me . No you dont want to go in there oh, youre right. Everything does. Ill never be able to look at my family album or eat suckling pig again. Mr. Bickley, youve got to know that those gray skies are gonna clear up, so put on a happy face. And remember, theres always more fish in the sea. Mindy, i dont want to upset you, boy, is mork going to be upset. His pet condor got away. Why do i come here . Its going to happen. You dont want to miss this like you did Beverly Sills at marineland. This is it, mind. Isnt it much nicer having the baby at home rather than in a hospital . Its important that we dont panic. And if we panic, its important were not loud. [ crackling ] i hope its healthy. I hope it doesnt eat the bedroom set. [ gasps ] i love you, min. I love you, too, mork. Morning, sweetheart. Hi. Still in love with that coat . What coat . Its been open to that same page for the last three days. Oh, thats the center page. It opens there naturally. Mmhmm. How long for the pancakes . Oh, just a few minutes. Well. Ill finish getting dressed. Ooh. [ sighs ] oh. [ ding ] [ gasps ] mother . [ chuckles ] mother, i cant wear this coat. Yes, youre right, samantha