And showering him with clothes, jewelry, and exotic colognes. Yeah . Nah. Im going to spend it all on myself. Isnt she great . I really like her. Shes smart. Shes funny. Shes a crack medical librarian. She graduated top of her class. Yet, shes not snotty. Shes got it all. Too bad shes such a beast. Vinnie. Youre such a jerk. Cecilia looks. Fine. Oh, theres a rave review. Are you talking about a girl or aluminum siding . Howser, the only difference between us is i say it, you think it. The difference is youre a pig and im not. You still need a date for that sting concert . Yeah. If cecilias so great, its just theres not that special spark between us. No, theres just that huge honker. Thats not it. Thats not it at all. Theres no chemistry. No frisson. Please. Youre a bigger pig than i am. How do you get that . Because you wont admit youre a pig. Not even to yourself. Yeah, its my job to patrol the hallways. So, how did you get this job . Go on, tell em, ray. Thats what were here for. Well. I kind of held up a convenience store. You did . Yeah, it was hot. The night they caught me moving in slow, like some big, huge dragnet. Dial it back, ray. Then i got arrested, sent to juvie, broke my mothers heart. That was real glamorous. After i got out, one of the guys i held hostage helped me get a job here. The end. I should have listened to bert. Gangs are a deadend. Doogie everyone, say hi to dr. Howser. This is bert dexter from the eastside youth center. Its an honor to meet you. Raymonds told me about your 15year commitment to the community. If i can help you andre, come over here. Actually, im offduty right now. Look at this child. Whered you get that . Rat bite. Dial it back, bert. O. K. , he kind of fell off his bicycle. Tart that theyve got to look their best. Ill consult the chief of Plastic Surgery tomorrow. What about right now . The boy is here. I just finished a long shift. You understand that were completely broke. We got no funds whatsoever, but im sure you can get some funds. You strike me as being a very resourceful young man, dr. Howser. Thank you. Andre, you go with dr. Howser. Re when you get back. Thats right. Byebye. Thats it. Go with the nice doctor. Man with the golden tongue. Rat bite. I fell off my bike. Okay. These kids have so much against them to start. They have to look their best. Of course you know they have no money, its clean. I like that. Would you like to see what youll look like when we fix your scar . O. K. , great. This is called video imaging. The computer will show us how youll look. [andre] whos that . Another patient of mine. Uh, whats she having done . Rhinoplasty. [doogie] wow. Well put. The entire transformation from surgery to wow will only take three weeks. Three weeks . Yup. This is one young woman whos going to ring in the new year in style. Andre, lets go over here, put you in front of the camera. New years eve . Sure. Id love to go out with you, doogie. Thats great. I love new years eve getting dressed up, dancing, singing auld lang syne. Out with the old, in with the new. Im trying to coax a computer phobic doctor into the 20th century. Im really glad you asked me. Aah oh, my god bert bert stand back. Give him some room. Ill call for the red gurney. Get me a Blood Pressure cuff. He just lost it. And an o2 tank and an airway. Stat [kid] ray, whats wrong with bert . Ray, get the kids out. All right. O. K. , o. K. O. K. Its all right. Dr. Howser to the e. R. Dr. Howser to the e. R. Hey, doog. Hows bert . Whats wrong with him . Ive stabilized him in the e. R. How are the kids . Pretty shaken up. I drove them to the center. I need to know whats going on. So far we know what he doesnt have. His cbc and blood chemistries were negative. Has he had this kind of episode before . I dont know. Well, well know more this afternoon. Youve got to help him. Take it easy, ray. Were working on it. Hey, ray, doc. Thank you. Whats going on . He refuses to sign his admission papers. I dont think i need any more attention. You were practically unconscious 45 minutes ago. You had a seizure. Somethings wrong. You need tests. But i feel fine. Goodbye. Ray, ill talk to you later. We cant keep him against his will. Hi. Uhoh. Beware of doctors bearing takeout. Sorry. I know its late, but what is it . Pad thai noodles and a Fascinating Research problem. A number four. Im stumped. Theres a seizure, but the patient acts totally unconcerned and denies any history of head trauma, headaches, either hes lying to me or i have no idea whats going on. Well, what tests did you run . Here. Um, cbc, blood chemistries were normal. Ekg, eeg, normal. He was scheduled for an mri, but he walked. Thats all you have . Theres one other thing. When i listened to his head wait. You listened to his head . So some neurologists listen to the head. So what did you hear . Itlike a chirping. It sounded like a bird chirping. His head was chirping, and he didnt know it . I dont know. It doesnt necessarily mean anything. Lots of sounds are in the head. I just thought since he had a seizure that. I need to hear the sound. Excuse me . The sound. Make it. Come on, if you expect me to research this as accurately as possible, i o. K. , o. K. Um, it was. [birdlike sound] um. [making birdlike sounds] sea gulls. What . Theres this rare condition only six reported cases. Of a vascular malformation in the brain thats characterized by a noise in the head that sounds like a sea gull chirping. A sea gull. Youre amazing. So ive been told. What . Nothing. Im just looking at you. Uh, so whats the followup . Its not very encouraging. Its like a time bomb. Of the six cases, all but one hasnt died. What about the sixth . It wasnt adequately followedup. He was a prisoner. What . He was an inmate in a prison hospital, but then he escaped. When . Mmm, about 15 years ago, april 1976. He was a black male, 26 at the time. Oh, listen to this. Because of the gulllike sound in his head, his fellow inmates referred to him as birdman z. Weird, huh . Yeah. Thanks. When i woke up this morning, i knew i didnt want to die a liar. Thats why i told you guys about my time in prison and how i busted out. O. K. Just as long as you Pay Attention to what happened to me, how i screwed up the first part of my life, and now i got to pay for it. I guess i always knew the truth would surface, but i didnt know till this morning that id be the one telling you guys about it. Are you sure youre going to die . Yeah, andre. Im pretty sure, but i want you guys to realize something. Im very grateful for the time ive been given to get to know you guys, and i love you guys. Come here and give me a hug. We love you, too, bert. And what about you, ray . You forgive me, man . So . You need surgery. Its very risky, but its your only shot. Lets go. You didnt have to tell those kids. I thought about it a lot, and i would have kept your secret. Why . 15 years, giving to those kids. That makes up for stealing some cars when you were a kid. Nah. I needed to let a little light in, and you know what . This feels good. Hi. Hi. Whats up . Um, i was consulting with dr. Michaels the other day, and, uh. Um, i mean, i know about. The nose job. Right. Thats why after a year, you suddenly asked me out. That doesnt make a difference to me anymore. It doesnt . No. Good, because this morning i called dr. Michaels. I canceled the surgery. What . I thought i finally met someone who sees all of me, whos not hung up on just one part. I thought, what am i changing myself for . But you never really liked me. You liked what you thought i would be. You looked right at me, but you never even saw me, did you . Bigger pig than me. Thank you. Thank you. I thought i was in that trough alone. Its an honor to have someone of your caliber to share my slop with. Suuuueee im a pig. Lets move on. You actually told her the truth . Were just going to have to work around that. How can i get her to date me . O. K. Heres what youre going to do. Ything. Can you be more specific . Just say anything, do anything. Just get her attention and keep it. Be creative. Have fun with it. Dr. Canfield, dont lean on the computer. I didnt touch anything. It doesnt like me. Give it a chance. I need to talk. Im busy. You leaned on it. I dont have a minute. I have a patient with severe addisons, but if you dont have the time. Of course we have the time. Ill be right back. Scroll. This better be good. Go out with me on new years eve. Thats not good enough. Its truly unfortunate when a researcher is inaccessible to physicians on an emergency basis. This isnt an emergency. It is. I really blew it with you. I dont care what your nose looks like. I want you to go to the concert with me. No. I acted like a pig. I admit it. I really thought about it. And i do see you, all of you, and you like me, too. So whats it going to be . I dont have anything to wear. I still havent decided whether to have the surgery or not. Surprise me. Youre absolutely right, miss carelli. Learning to use the librarys not only educational, its just plain good fun. You have a real aptitude for scrolling. Thank you. Nanu, nanu