The fastest soapboxderby racer in the future history of soapboxderby racing. Really . Thats wonderful. Hes staying with us until he wins the local races, and then, naturally, hes going on to win at akron. Naturally. What are you doing here . Oh, i came with my friend, johnny mills. Well, uh, if you dont mind, mrs. Stephens, i, uh, wish you wouldnt look at flash. Lets just say im superstitious, which, incidentally, i never was until i met you. Beat it, kid. Im class a, and this is a time trial. Im racing against the clock. Well, it wont hurt anything if i race with you. In that pile of junk . Dont make me laugh. The gray goose may not be painted as fancy as yours, but ill bet ill beat you to the finish line. Not if you had jet engines. Nt race with amateurs. Flash wait youre not gonna let him race with you . Well, if he wants to end up eating my dust, thats his hangup. It certainly is. Ready. Set. Go [ tinkles ] [ ding ] come on, flash get your weight forward. You do all this research on a perfect car, then smash it into a tree. Your Insurance Company raises your rates. Maybe you shouldve done more research on them. For drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. And if you do have an accident, our claims centers are call for a free quote today. Liberty stands with you . Liberty mutual insurance. So, as johnny and i drove home, thats when he asked me if i could keep the racer. But i didnt find out much. All i know is theres just the boy and his father. Hes the garage man. You know mills auto service . Well, for some reason, johnny doesnt want his father to know about the racer. That doesnt make any sense. Whod be more interested in his own kids racing car than a garage mechanic . You figure it out. I dont want to figure it out. I dont want to get involved, and i dont want you involved, either. Im not involved. Sam, youre helping a 12yearold boy deceive his father. Darrin, did you tell your father everything when you were 12 . Were not talking about me, and its been a long time since i was 12. Want to lick the spoon . Its chocolate. Oh, yeah. I love your chocolate. Sam, thats not fair. [ laughs ] well, neither is sitting in judgment on a boy when you dont know the whole story. Say, have i heard the whole story . You didnt interfere when the boys were racing, did you . Ii told you, they were only practicing. Well, if you could call straightening a wobbly wheel interfering i could. [ doorbell rings ] that must be johnny. He said hed be back. Sweetheart, would you answer the door . Well continue this discussion later. Not if i can help it. Mr. Stephens . You must be johnny. Yes, sir. I came to work on my racer. Ive got a wheel problem. So ive heard. Id like to talk to you. Sam we have a guest. Hi, johnny. Hi, mrs. Stephens. Thanks a lot for keeping my car in your garage. I was happy to do it. Look what i just made. You think a piece would spoil your dinner . I could risk it. Johnny, why dont you want your father to know about the racer . Well, dad doesnt know i built the racer. Tommy summers let me build it in his garage, thats why i had to ask you. Why keep the racer a secret . Your dads a mechanic. He could have helped you. Unhunh. The soapboxderby rule says you got to build it all by yourself. And, anyway, you dont know my dad. Hed have thrown a fit. Why . Well, because. Look, my dads a great guy about the greatest there is but hes got this thing about me becoming a doctor. Whats building a racer got to do with becoming a doctor . With my dad, just about everything has got something to do with becoming a doctor. You want to be a doctor . Sure, ii guess so. If itll make dad happy. Mrs. Stephens, i got to go. Thanks for the cake, and thanks again for keeping my car. Uh, johnny, wait a minute. What are you going to good luck, johnny. Thanks. Mrs. Stephens . I got one other problem. Okay. You see, they wont let me race in the derby unless my parent or guardian signs the application. Well, johnny, we cant sign it for you. Oh, i know that. That would be illegal. Anyway, i was going to ask my dad to sign it after i got the racer all built. Well, the race is on saturday, and im kind of scared to ask him. Would you . Ill bet hed have a tough time saying no to you. Speaking from experience yeah, id be willing to give it a try. Mr. Mills, dont you understand . If you dont sign this, johnny wont be able to race. That lousy bolts frozen. Ive got a very good chance of getting the riot act from the guy that owns this car. Mr. Mills, havent you got just five minutes to stand up and talk to me . Look, mrs. Stephens, youre a very nice lady and a very good customer, and i appreciate your business, but my son is my son. All right . Yes, i know. The only reason i am asking is because your son is afraid to ask. How about people . They see a kid without a mother, and right away they figure they got a right to stick their nose in. I told you, i got to get finished with this car. Is that more important than johnny . Look, do you think i like working 14 hours a day, seven days a week . You got any idea how much it costs to send a kid through college and then medical school . Yes. Yes, i know its very expensive, but did you realize that the soapboxderby finalists win College Scholarships . Now, if i figured like that, id take all the profits from this garage, and id try to win his tuition in a crap game. You get about the same odds. Mr. Mills, johnnys racer is already built. Now, hed only have to take one afternoon off from his studies. Surely he can spare that. [ sighs ] ah, this thing wont budge. [ tinkles ] [ ding ] it come loose. Mr. Mills, please . Huh . Please . All right, all right. Now, you will give him a little encouragement . He thinks a lot of you. Yeah, thats his trouble. He thinks too much of a 150aweek grease monkey. Will you come watch him race on saturday . [ scoffs ] boy, give em an inch. Lady, on saturdays, im up to my ears in work. All right. [ march plays, indistinct conversation ] mission accomplished. Johnny, you got time to put these on . Hey brandnew regulation wheels now i can pass inspection. , mr. Stephens. Its okay, johnny. You too, mrs. Stephens. Glad to do it. You better hurry up. You havent got much time before the first race. [ laughs ] look who didnt want to get involved. Come here. Hmm . Come on there are kids around here. Yeah. Too bad, huh . You better get those wheels on, johnny. Well be rooting for you. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Mrs. Stephens. You will watch for my dad, wont you . Man . Are jim kleinman, johnny mills, don bellow. [ crowd cheering ] ooh, come on, johnny. Come on, johnny. Come on faster ooh come on, johnny faster come on, johnny [ crowd cheering ] ooh the winner in class b, johnny mills. He won i make it 28. 7 seconds. Thats pretty good i knew he could do it i knew he could do it attaboy, johnny and the winner in class a, leroy kravitz. Uhoh. Uhoh. It looks like he and johnny will be racing each other. Aah the finals abner oh, flash is gonna be in the finals [ laughs ] in that case, ill have another hot dog. The bases are loaded again ladies and gentlemen, of the local soapbox derby are johnny mills and leroy kravitz. Remember to let him do it on his own. No funny help. Why, darrin, do you think id stoop to no, but you might get excited and lose control. Ooh come on, johnny come on, johnny. Come on. Oh, he may make it oh mmm. Go, johnny go on faster faster aah he won he won hi, johnny. Oh, he won. He won. The winner and this years champion is johnny mills. See, i told you they were doing something funny. Okay, so why dont you do something funny, like mind your own business for a change . This is my business, congratulations, johnny. Now i can say that i know a local soapboxderby champion. Congratulations, champ. Say, you gave us a bad moment in that last heat. Man attention, ladies and gentlemen. There will be a delay before the presentation of the trophy. Will johnny mills and his parents please report to the soapboxderby headquarters immediately . I wonder what thats all about. Hello, johnny. Im mr. Martin of the derby rules committee. Are you mr. And mrs. Mills . No, were just friends. Is anything the matter . Well, weve had a rather strange complaint from a mrs. Gladys kravitz. Do you know her . Well, shes i dont like to say this weird. She is, isnt she . And most difficult to cope with. She has insisted that johnny here to clear this thing up before we can declare him the winner. I built the car all by myself. Honest im sure you did, son, and im sure you can prove it. Now, where are your parents . Your father did sign the Entry Application . Yes, sir. Whats the nature of the charges . They, like mrs. Kravitz, are also weird, but were gonna have a little informal hearing as soon as we can round up all the judges. Now, where is your father, johnny . Well, mr. Mills was delayed. He got sick. He really wanted to come, but he got sick. Well, he should be here to help answer the charges. Darrin, why dont you go along with mr. Martin and johnny . Ill phone mr. Mills and see if hes feeling better. Dont you worry. Come along with me. Come on, johnny. Mrs. Kravitz, can you be a little more specific . Well, you saw the way he was behind in the last heat, and then he caught up. Like magic. And i dont use the word loosely. How about not using the word at all . Well, the same peculiar thing happened when he was racing with my flash, and they were just practicing. [ sighs ] whats so peculiar about that . Drivers often come from behind. Both times, Samantha Stephens was there. Uh, thats my wife. Shes sort of been coaching johnny. [ gladys laughs ] shes been doing more than just coaching. And shes always doing something more than she should be doing when she should be doing something. The things i could tell you the things i could tell you. No, sir. Dad its okay, kid. What did they say you did . Mr. Mills, wont you sit down . Were just trying to make sure that johnny built his racer himself. If he says he did, he did. Look, im a mechanic. If he didnt ask me for help, why would he ask anybody else . Now, please, everybody sit down. Johnny, can you tell us how you constructed the, uh, Brake Assembly . Yes, sir. I used the tools at school in woodshop. I built the car in my friend tommys garage. We had a bunch of old tires around the house, so i used a piece of them for the braking surface. I attached the rod to the frontend plate with an eyebolt. Then for the rear housing, getting the regulation 3inch ground clearance, but after i switched the hinge, it was okay. Where did you learn all that stuff . From you, pop. Youre the best mechanic in town. Can i Say Something . Certainly, mr. Mills. My kid never lied about anything in his life. Except maybe today, when he said that i was sick. I wasnt sick. I was stupid. Well, thats all i wanted to say, but if you want to make out that my kid didnt win cause he got help from somebody, you better be able to prove it pretty good. Thank you, mr. Mills. Congratulations, johnny. W. And we also want you to know that were very proud to have you represent our city in the finals at akron. Come on, abner. We dont have to listen to this. Were leaving. Are you going with him to akron . Why should she go with him . Im the kids old man, aint i . Look, lady, how about taking over the station while me and the kid are out of town . Orking. And working out. No, thank you, mr. Mills. Im retiring. Man . The stands of derby downs. Oh, darling, isnt it wonderful about johnny . Its fantastic. There were over 250 local champions competing. Well, he won the scholarship. Thats the important thing. No more problems about college. His father wont have to worry about that now. There he is. This years winner was johnny mills. As the crowd cheered the new champion, johnny was paraded down the track on which, only minutes before, in the championship heat. Johnny qualified for the allamerican derby by beating all other entrants in the local trials of his community. At the finish line, johnny was joined by his father, who shared in the excitement. If anybody ever made a boys dreams come true. Well, thank you, darling. Man ladies and gentlemen, capt this photograph of the moons surface was taken two months ago by a camera aboard an unmanned space capsule. Today, space technicians at the cape are hopeful that this view of the moon and even closer ones will be seen for the first time by human eyes. [ vacuum cleaner whirring ] sam, not now im watching the moon probe. What . The moon probe. Im watching the moon probe. You turn the vacuum on, the set goes flooey. I cant see [ whirring stops ] i cant see. Cant you do that later . Sweetheart, ive been waiting for weeks to give the house a thorough cleaning. These rugs are filthy how can you worry about the dirt on the rugs when were about to see the surface of the moon . The moon could use a vacuuming, too. All that dust. Ick we have now received word from the cape that the orbit and attitude of the space capsule are perfect. Watch this with me. Its pretty interesting, even for a sophisticated witch like you. Ive seen the moon. Shes seen the moon. Shes seen the moon . No, thats impossible. With her, nothings impossible. Larry, id like to ask you something. Is it more important than Jack Nicklaus getting an eagle on a 550yard fivepar . What do you think about the moon . I think its very nice. Easy, now. Stroke it easy. Youve got a downhill lie. I mean about getting there. You really want to know what i think . Okay, ill tell you what i think. I think that the moon is very important, but i wish theyd stop spending my money to get there. Larry, its for the advancement of science look, dont get me wrong. If they could just say alakazam, snap their fingers, and get there, id be all for it. Well, thats close. What . Uh, nothing. I say forget it. Larry, um, i know this is going to sound ridiculous. But just suppose someone knew of a way of getting to the moon without spending all that money. What do you think he should do about it . He should go to the authorities and tell them what he knows. I think it would be his patriotic duty. S afraid youd say. But before he does it, ill tell you what i think he should do. I think he should go home, take a good, stiff drink, a couple of aspirin, and try to get some sleep. Well, larry, it was just a hypothetical question. [ chuckles ] [ ding ] really, samantha. Its getting harder and harder to tell the difference between you and an ordinary household drudge. Well, im sorry, mother, but as long as you insist upon popping in unannounced, i brought you up as a proper witch, taught you the best incantations, and here you are, married to a mortal, doing the most menial tasks. A fallen woman. All right, mother. Out with it. Whats on your mind . I want you to come shopping with me. Ah, so thats what all this is about to get me to come shopping with you. Well, if id simply invited you, samantha, you would have refused. I cant leave tabitha. Ive already installed hagatha upstairs to babysit. Mother, i have to clean the house. Good. Now, lets compromise. Ill let you clean the house as a drudge, but only after you come shopping with me. Well, all right. But we mustnt be gone more than two hours. Now, promise. Marvelous. Wed better change, dear. Where are we going . Its sunday. All the stores are closed. Not where im taking you. Follow me. [ ding ] [ ding ] nice of you to pop in, ladies. Oh, mother. You didnt tell me we were going to tokyo. Ill never trust you again. Darling, you said yourself the shops were all closed back home. Here it isnt sunday. Weve just crossed the International Date line. [ speaking japanese ] [ speaking japanese ] i am so happy to see you again. This is my daughter samantha. How do you do . [ speaking japanese ] i am honored to make your acquaintance, samanthasan. Of course. Just a moment, please. I keep in back for my special customers. [ laughs ] hes a warlock . Tokyo chapter. And his tea is absolutely out of this world. After this, well go to a marvelous restaurant. [ gasps ] they make the most divine squid mousse. [ ding ] well, theres nothing like a little trip to japan to break up the morning. Now, just let us relax and have a cup of this marvelous warlock tea. Mother, dear, you are incorrigible. Now, weve been gone all day. Now you want me to sit down and have tea. I have to get the house clean. What am i gonna tell darrin . Then dont. Do you have to give a schedule of where youve been every day, minute by minute . Well, of course not. Its a, um. Get done. Youre welcome to stay. [ ding ] and watch you do battle with grease and grime . [ chuckles ] no, thank you. Well, tata, darling. Enjoy your tea. [ chuckles ] [ ding ] sam, im home. [ vacuum cleaner whirring ] ill be right there. Are you still vacuuming sam . [ ding ] [ tinkles ] [ ding ] [ whirring stops ] sam i thought we agreed that housework was to be done in the usual manner. T have left detailed instructions. What happened to you . Ive been upstairs cleaning the attic. Its very dirty up there, see . Did you clean the attic the same way you were vacuuming the rug . Oh, darrin, really. I just wanted us to have some time together, and i thought i wouldnt be finished in time, so i a little, uh [ whistles ] yyes. Just a little. By the way, where have you been . I called you from larrys. Why are you questioning me like this . T to know what you did while i was gone. Minute by minute . Any way you like. Well, lets see. First, i cleaned the left side of the refrigerator. Then i cleaned the right side. Sam youre deliberately not answering my question. I do not like being crossexamined by my husband. Wwwhat is that . Whats what . That. That. Oh, this . Thats yeah. Um, darrin, mother came over. And, uh, we went out to lunch at a nice, little japanese tearoom. And thats the last question im going to answer until you apologize. Sam, please. One more question . Where did you go . You want to know where i went . Yes. All right, ill tell you. To the moon and one of these days would you say no to a lot more money . [excited scream] you just won a Million Dollars no thanks. Nice balloons, though or no to more Vacation Days . Janet, im giving you an extra weeks vacation what . No way. Who says no to more . Time warner cables all about giving you more. Like the most free hd channels and virtually unlimited movies and shows on demand, so you can binge all day. Call now. And dont forget the free tv app. Get ultrafast internet with secure home wifi to connect all your devices. Saving on mobile data fees, helps big time. Switch to time warner cable. For 89. 99 a month youll get free hd channels, half the world. We can call aunt rose as much as we want now. Switching is easy. Get our exclusive 1hour arrival window, a moneyback guarantee with no contract to sign. Plus get free installation, tv equiment and epix included. Really . Honest. No. Ah, how are you, mr. Stephens . Whatll it be today . Heartburn, headaches, lowerback pains, nasal congestion . You name it, i can fix it. Its nothing like that. I want to ask a favor. Well, uh. Could you analyze these . Analyze . Looks like dust. It looks like dust. I want you to find out what that really is. You mean you might be allergic . Oh, thats right, mr. Grand. Im afraid im allergic. And this, by you, is of National Importance . Mr. Grand, just find out what it is. And this one. Thats supposed to be tea. Youre a good customer, mr. Stephens. Ill see what i can do, but i dont promise i can do anything this afternoon. My wifes brother is coming from out of town, and, to my wife, hes of National Importance. So im closing the store an hour earlier. As soon as you can. Ill be by first thing in the morning. And thank you, mr. Grand. Every minute of the day, tabitha and i have gone to the market to pick up a few things for dinner. Any further questions will have to wait until we get home. Sam. Terrible. Terrible. I feel like a stool pigeon, an informer. Spying on my own wife. Oh. What happens if that stuff actually turns out to be from the moon . What do i do then . Report it to nasa . Man mr. Stephens, you know we dont waste time here at nasa. Were in a race to the moon with the russians, look, i cant give i cant give you these unless you promise not to ask me where i got them. What is this, stephens, conditions, when the prestige of our country is involved . I cannot reveal my sources. Unless you agree, no deal. Now, mr. Stephens, whats in the envelopes . [ chuckles ] well, it looks like house dust and tea, but i tea, huh . Well find out about that. Run them through the lab, frank. Right, ed. All right, stephens. Thats it. Where did you get it . I cant tell you. Cut the jazz, stephens. Youre in serious trouble. Listen, im just a simple neighborhood druggist who has to stay open sunday afternoons. Never mind about that. What about him . Oh, such a nice man. Lovely wife. An adorable daughter. Funny name, though. Who could know that he was a spy . Is . Nothing. Ii swear she knows nothing about it. All right, stephens, who is this woman . I never saw her before in my life. Next. [ ding ] how about this one . Her ive seen. Oh, darrin, how could you . Whats going to become of tabitha . Sam, im sorry. I tried to protect you, but they wormed it out of me we were only gone for a little while. Mother wanted to get some tea. [ ding ] you see . You wouldnt listen to me. Thats what comes of marrying a mortal. Always wanting to know what youre going to do every minute of the day. Well, youre right, mother. Youre absolutely right. I must admit it. He was suspicious. He did ask questions. No. No yes, yes ed all right, mrs. Stephens, its time. Frank come along, mrs. Stephens. Its time. Oh, no, no. Not yet, please. Just one more minute. Ed nasa cant wait, mrs. Stephens. Were in a race. Its time leave her alone its my fault oh, darrin, darrin, darrin. Darrin . Its all my fault. No, no darrin, wake up. Darrin. Oh oh, sam. Sam youre youre here they didnt take you who . The nasa man. Nasa man . Thats a new one. Is it anything like bogeyman . Oh, relax, sweetheart. You just had a bad dream. Oh. Well, yeah. Wwheres tabitha . Shes upstairs asleep. What were you dreaming about . Well, the nasa men. The space agency. They were giving me the third degree about where did i get the moon dust. Moon dust . Yeah. And your mother was there and larry tate was there and grand and grand whats grand . Max grand. The druggist. I gave him the dust and the tea to be analyzed. Sam, why did you have to go to the moon, especially after we just talked about it . Darrin, are you sure youre awake . Come on, sam. I know all about it. Went to the moon. Oh, for heavens sake and when i came back when i came back from larrys, and i said, samantha, where have you been . Did you not say, and i quote, to the moon . Darrin, if i told you id been to the north star, would you believe me . I was only kidding. Sam, when any other woman says, ive been to the moon, you figure thats just a figure of speech. But when you say, ive been to the moon, thats Something Else altogether. When i saw that dust, i knew youd been to the moon. Darrin. And she insisted i go shopping with her. Shop. [ chuckles ] sam. Its sunday. All the stores are closed. Not in japan. In japan, its monday. And thats where we went, and thats all there is to it. Japan . Are you asking me to believe that . You believe i went to the moon, and you dont believe i went to japan . You said you went to the moon. Only because i was annoyed at you for asking questions. Not recently, no. Sam i swear and affirm that i have not left the earth today. Oh, darling thats marvelous. [ chuckles ] oh. I dont even feel so bad about being such a fool with mr. Grand. Imagine, giving him ordinary house dust to analyze. Ooh, i bet he thinks youre spooky. Yeah. Ordinary house dust and ordinary japanese tea. [ laughs ] um, darrin. Darrin, it isnt ordinary japanese tea. Hmm. What, um what is it . Its its warlock tea. Its warlock tea. Its warlock tea oh, sam mr. Grand is gonna analyze it, and hes going to think i dont know what hes gonna think. Well, i dont think theres anything to worry about. And thatll be the end of that. Yeah, yeah. I hope youre right. [ telephone ringing ] i dont think youre right. Hello . Mr. Stephens, about that matter of National Importance the stuff that looks like house dust, it is house dust. Well, thank you for your trouble, mr. Grand. But that other stuff the stuff that looks like tea. That was a mistake. That is tea. Ah. Thats where youre wrong. I put it through every test ive got. And theres something in it that is definitely not tea. I even showed it to my brotherinlaw, the one from nassau. Nasa . Your brotherinlaws from nasa . Yeah. Hes visiting us for the weekend with the kids. Uh, mr. Grand, dont do another thing. Just forget about it. Youve gone to enough trouble. Oh, no trouble at all. Look, weve got to pass your place on the way home. Well drop it off. See you in a few minutes. [ doorbell rings ] sam, i wish youd go upstairs and let me handle this. They are. Mr. Grand, i want to apologize for causing you so much trouble, especially since it was all an accident. My mothers always been very fond of home remedies. You know how oldfashioned some mothers can be. When she discovered that darrin was allergic to dust, she decided she just had to give him one of her favorite home remedies. She said it was some special kind of tea. But darrins always been suspicious of home remedies. Thats why he gave it to you to analyze. Well, it turns out that its not tea at all. No, no. I talked to mother, and she admitted that it was a special blend of herbs and spices that she got from a japanese herbalist. Now, i know that they do come up with some strange concoctions. Harry lady. Yes . This stuff is more than strange. [ tinkles ] [ ding ] [ wind blowing ] hey, what happened . Theres no wind tonight. Oh, it does come up suddenly sometimes, doesnt it . Oh, what a shame. That was the last of it, too. My brotherinlaw harry kahn from nassau. Hello. How do you do . You dont have any more of this . Oh, im sorry. Im afraid youll just have to go back and tell them at the space agency. What space agency . I own a string of cutrate drug stores. Yyou mean youre not from nasa . Sure. Nassau county, long island. Whats the matter with him . Oh, it must be his allergy. Night air. Very bad, you know. Mr. Kahn, it was nice meeting you. Good night. Yes, nice meeting [ whistles ] darrin, are you all right . Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, come on. Ill fix you a nice cup of tea. Uh, no no tea. But how about a moonlight cocktail . Your Insurance Company wont replace the full value of your totaled new car. With Liberty Mutual new car replacement . , you wont have to worry about replacing your car because youll get the full value back including depreciation. And if you have more than one Liberty Mutual policy, you qualify for a multipolicy discount, saving you money on your car and home coverage. Call for a free quote today. Liberty stands with you . Darrin . Come look at the lady in the moon. What moon . Besides, its a man in the moon. How do you know its a man . Everybody knows its a man. Just look at it. Could be a lady. You know, ive been meaning to ask you something. You said that, um, you hadnt been to the moon today, but you didnt say that youd never been to the moon. Hmm . Well, have you . Have i what . Been to the moon. Ever. Darrin. You dont want to know everything about me, do you . I mean, there are some things a wife should not tell a husband. Is one of them. Captions by vitac [ . . . ] good morning, major healey. Hi, jeannie. Uh, wheres tony . He asked me to pick him up. Oh, he overslept. Would you like a cup of coffee while youre waiting . No, im in a hurry. I why . Well, friday is general petersons 10th anniversary as a general, and, uh, well, dr. Bellows wants to put on this show. And i have to find somebody to take charge of the Entertainment Committee. Oh, major nelson is very good at being in charge of things. Ow somebody thats in show business. You gotta have somebody that has a big act. He doesnt know anybody in show business at all. I will help him. Well, you co no. Oh, no. Oh, no. He doesnt like you helping him. Dont do it. How would it look if some other masters genie was in charge . Yeah, i see what you mean. No no, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. He would enjoy himself. Forget not me. No. He may not think so, but he would enjoy himself a great thats out. Major healey, if major nelson is not put in charge, i can promise you that on the night ne. [ . . . ] the night of the party . And a tidal wave. General petersons party . And a typhoon. And well all be sitting around having cocktails . Hm. Well, i guess thats it. Hahaha. I guess we found the new head of our committee. [laughs] oh. And, shh, not a word to major nelson. Yeah, not a word. Shh. Guess ill be oh, hi, roge. Im sorry. I overslept. Do you know something . Huh, what . You shouldve stayed in bed. I would never have thought of major nelson for this. Ah, well, frankly, neither did i, sir. It just came to me out of the blue. Do you think he can get a top entertainer for friday evening . Well, if he cant, he knows someone who can. Uh, hes really quite anxious to head the committee, though. Oh, strange. He never said a word to me about it. Well, you know how modest tony is. But hell come up with someone great. Ah, major nelson. Yes. I just want to express my appreciation. Your appreciation, sir . For volunteering to take charge of general petersons party. I havent had a chance to tell you that for volunteering to take . Oh, major healey told you that, did he . Thanks. We were considering using some of the amateur talent around here, but with all the people in show business you know, that wont be necessary, will it . People in show business i i told you hes modest. Hahaha. I dont know one Single Person in the entertainment thats right. Most of them are married. Well, its in your hands now, major nelson. This is one of the most important evenings in general petersons life. Oh, and, uh, dont let me down. [ . . . ] yes, sir. [ . . . ] why . Well, if youre not the head of the Entertainment Committee during general petersons party, theres going to be a hurricane, a tidal wave and a typhoon. Jeannie. Jeannie did that . Not so loud. Shh. Dont get her mad, now. Whwhy would she make you do that . Why . How would it look if some other genies master got the job . I mean, all you have to do is get a great entertainer. Nybody in the entertainment field. I just told yeah, but jeannie does. Yeah, im sure she does. I can just see her now. Uh, uh, shakespeare will come out and introduce sarah bernhardt, and then ben hur will do a little chariot race. Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. Then after ben hur, maybe some gladiators. Why did you do this to me . Well, i i thought you might like to do something nice for general peterson. Oh, i would. I would. But i dont know anything about entertainment. They are the most no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I would like to help you believe me, youve done enough. Really. Well, what will you do . Ill go to miami. Youre going to run away . No. Im gonna go to miami because a lot of big stars work down in miami in hotels and nightclubs. Maybe i can persuade one of them to come up to the space center. Oh, you are brilliant, master. [whistles] here we are. Do you see anyone you know . No. But i see somebody id like to have. Who would never do it . One of the greatest entertainers in the world. Sammy davis jr. Oh. Is he better than ben hur . It is so early. Oh, eearly . Oh, no, its 10 00. Ten oclock . Yeah. Why, i thought it was only 8 00. My hourglass must be slow. Mmhm. [laughing] yeah, probably. Well, ive had a pretty hard day. Im im gonna get to bed. You better get to bed too. Good night. [yawns] good night, master. Good night. [ . . . ] hello. Good night, master. [yawns] [ . . . ] ah, there it goes. Now, guys, if we can take it one more time, i got the tape recorder sam. Weve been rehearsing for three hours. I know youre the boss, but youre gonna kill yourself. George, if i gotta go, will you let it be in the key of g. Okay . Lets sing. Sammy, hes right. If you dont rest, youre gonna have a nervous breakdown. Nervous breakdown. Thats all i ever hear from you. Do me a favor and take care of the money. Let me take care of the arrangements. Come on, once again, huh, george . Nice and light, now. [doorbell rings] [scatting] [playing soft jazz music] yeah. Can i help you . Eak to mr. Davis, please. Sure. One moment. . The girl from ipanema goes walking . . And when she passes each time she passes . . I go . Now, oh, oh, oh. Can i help you . Its not happening. Oh, yes, id like to speak to mr. Davis. No, im sorry. Hes rehearsing. Perhaps i could help you. Im his manager. Oh, yes, certainly, um well, id like to speak to him about the possibility of doing a performance at, uh, cape kennedy. General peterson is celebrating his 10th year as a general. Oh, sammy loves to do benefits. It more or less falls under the heading of saving my life. What night is it . Oh, its, uh, friday night. Uh, friday night. I could send a car down for him. Oh, im afraid sammy couldnt get away. He does two shows a night here. Oh, well. Then maybe i could send a jet. Mister. Mister well, unless you could postpone it. Uh, until when . Well, lets see. Sammys first free day is, uh, may 15th. May 15th . A year from may 15th. Hes booked solid. Oh, i see. Sammy oh, oh, oh. Well, thank you. Im sorry. Yeah. Well, who shall i tell him called . Oh, uh, the late major anthony nelson. [laughs] sammy one time. Here we go. One, two, three, four. [band playing soft jazz music] . Tall and tan and young and lovely . . The girl from ipanema goes walking . . And when she passes each time she passes . Its like the samba . . That sways so cool and swings so gentle . . That when she passes each time she passes . . I go, ahhh . . But i watch her so gladly . . Hhhhow can i tell her i love her . . . Gee, i would give my heart gladly . . But each day when she walks to the sea . . She looks straight ahead not at me . And young and lovely . . The girl from ipanema goes walking . . And when she passes i smile but she doesnt see . . She aint looking at me . [scatting] . She aint looking at me . [scats] . She aint looking at me . . Its not me that she will ever see . . Ah . Well, it aint the monkees, but itll have to do. Hey, john and michael, why dont you go get some coffee in the kitchen. I know it took a long time, but you see . Okay, sam. Oh, look, sam. Yeah . You will try to get a little sleep before the show tonight . Sure, ill take a nap. Dont worry about it. And you go in the kitchen and eat, cause you need it. Hey, guess who was just here to see you. Sapphire and her mama. Youre close. Oh. Major anthony nelson. The astronaut . Mmhm. Well, where is he . Oh, he he left. I told him you were rehearsing. Oh, come on, jim. Youre puttin me on, man. If that cats not too busy to go to the moon for me, well now, find him for me, will you . [sighs] thank you, jim. It was your goof. [ . . . ] look at you. Just look at you. You should be ashamed of yourself. Your master is exhausted. And do you know why he is exhausted . Because he is worried. And why is he worried . You must do something about that. [sighs] right. Well, i cant get over that. Hah. How about that, huh . Gee, ive met the queen of england, the president of the united states, and now im gonna meet a real live astronaut. Oh, i ive heard of nervous breakdowns, would you say no to a lot more money . [excited scream] you just won a Million Dollars no thanks. Nice balloons, though or no to more Vacation Days . Janet, im giving you an extra weeks vacation oh, ah. Nooo. What . No way. Who says no to more . Time warner cables all about giving you more. Like the most free hd channels and virtually unlimited movies and shows on demand, so you can binge all day. Call now. And dont forget the free tv app. St internet with secure home wifi to connect all your devices. Saving on mobile data fees, helps big time. Switch to time warner cable. For 89. 99 a month youll get free hd channels, 100 meg internet and unlimited calling to half the world. We can call aunt rose as much as we want now. Switching is easy. Get our exclusive 1hour arrival window, a moneyback guarantee with no contract to sign. Plus get free installation, tv equiment and epix included. Really . Honest. No. Aare you the mr. Sammy davis jr. . Well, i i was a few minutes ago. Im not feeling well now. Oh, theres nothing to be worried about. Oh. My master is very anxious to meet you. Your master . Mmhm. Excuse me, please. Oh, and it looked so real too. Master oh, master [gasps] he tricked me. Oh. I am terribly sorry, but my master is gone. Hah, well, dont you worry about that, maam. I im a little gone myself. Well, it was it was nice meeting you. Im having a nervous breakdown. Jim, george, piano. Im back. Back where . You know something . Youre right. Ive been working much too hard. You know the copa date . Break it. Break it . Listen to me. When i start to see harem girls and disappearing masters, then its time for me to take a rest. Now, you find me a sanitarium in the country somewhere where its nothing but trees around, right . Dig . Do that sammy, youre booked. Okay. Dr. Mallard ought to be able to tell us where to go. Yeah, i guess so. How long do you wanna stay . Oh, i dont know. Three months. Three months . All right, make it a month. You couldnt sit still for a month. You know something, youre right. You should make it a week. A week. Jim. Jim, hold on. Now, lets not get carried away, see . Lets not put it too far out in the country. Maybe we could find a little place that has a combo and a little dance floor, huh . Sanitarium with a combo and a dance floor . Where the chicks are doing the monkey and the boogaloo. . Booboogalaloo . Hey, gogo girls . Dance hall . That sounds like the copa to me, fellas. Hey, you know somethin . George is right. Hes absolutely right. Hang up the phone. Well keep the copa date. [scoffs] can you imagine a man . [chuckles] it is rather amusing, believe me. I saw a harem girl, disappearing master. [magic boings] ah all right, im sorry. Im sorry, jeannie. Why did you sneak away, master . Well, i, uh. I had some personal business to take care of. Through the window . Yeah, well well, while you were gone, do you know who was here . I had to meet a man [in unison] sammy davis jr. Well, how did you know . Well, iii just told you. He he was here. Oh, no, he couldnt have been here. I just left him in miami. You . You didnt bring him here . Now, tell me you didn please, say you didnt bring him here. Well, how did i know you were going to sneak out the window . Would you like me to blink him back, master . No, no. It wouldnt do any good anyway. He has two performances a night. What will you do, master . Well, ill just have to get somebody else. Hes not the only entertainer in the world, you know. Well, he may not be the only entertainer in the world, but hes certainly the greatest. Yeah, roger, its its not the entertainment thats the important thing. Its the the spirit of the occasion that counts. [door opens] sir. General. Dr. Bellows told me what youre doing, and i just want you to know how much i appreciate it. Oh, its my pleasure, sir. Well, this has got to be a great show. Uh, yes, roger and i were just talking about the entertainment, werent we . Well, its not the entertainment thats important, tony. Its the spirit of the occasion that counts. Yes. Well, to think that the men would care enough to do a thing like this. Well, thats the most important thing, sir. Haha. You couldnt have done anything that would make me happier. I first saw him the same day i got my first star. Eh, saw who, sir . Sammy davis jr. Thats a day ill never forget. We went to see his show that night. And when dr. Bellows told me that youd arranged to have him sing a number for me friday night, it really brought a lump to my throat. Ahem. Im a little choked up myself, sir. Ill never forget this, tony. I can hardly wait till friday night. [ . . . ] this could break general petersons heart. Hings. Uh, yeah, yeah. I know. Why do we not talk to mr. Sammy d. Ah, beca i told you, jeannie. He does two shows a night. Hes a very busy man. When hes up on stage and i didnt eveni i me [laughing] , ye. Its happening again. Youre major nelson . [laughing] yeah, thats right. Dont worry about it, major. Were both cracking up at the same time. Were sharing the same nervous breakdown. Oh, no, you are not having a nervous breakdown. I will tell you ill tell him. Ill tell him. Please, sit. Yes. Ahem. Now, mr. Davis, uh, this is not gonna be easy. Ah, i ill tell you what. Let me help you. Its a its a time machine, right . No, no. Its not a time machine. No, its ah, you both are putting me on . Im not putting you on. I eh, well, i tell you i tell you what, major. Suppose you dont even mention it to me. Dont tell me what it is because it would only make me, see, i dont have to tell you how topsecret this is. Oh. My lips are sealed. Good. [laughs] who is she . Oh, im his my assistant. Nothings too good for our boys in the service. [chuckles] ohatgs too good for our boys have him here,ervice. Why dont you tell him about the party. About the what . The party. Oh, yes, yes. Uh, ah, general peterson is having a little celebration friday. Uhhuh. Hes a very big fan of yours, mr. Davis. Oh, well, thank you very much. Maybe give a little performance for us. Maybe a little number . Ohoke jim about that, and we tried trk but unfortunately, oho it cant be done. Well, i figured it out. We could have a jet pick you up and major, i would love to. I really mean id love to be there, but unfortunately well, let me put it this way. If i could, i would. Would you really . Yes, of course. I think i can arrange it. Now now, wait a minute. Dont get involved. What are you doing here . My lips are sealed. Sounds great. [ . . . ] hey, you are a wonderful audience. Youre definitely an 83. Thank you. Youre really great. Thank you so much. And now, ladies and gentlemen, the management takes great pleasure and definite pride to introduce to you all here acape kennedy americas greatest entertainers mr. Sammy davis jr. yeah [indistinct dialogue] thank you. Thank you very, very much. Uh, general, major, ladies and gentlemen, may i simply say what a tremendous thrill it is to have the privilege of at least trying to entertain you this evening. Thank you very, very much. Sammy fellas. [playing upbeat jazz] . That old black magic has me in its spell . . That old black magic that you weave so well . . Those icy fingers . . Up and down my spine . . Same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine . . Same old tingle that i feel inside . . Then that elevator starts its ride . . Down and down and down i go . . Round and round and chachacha . . Like a leaf thats caught . In the tide . . I should stay away what can i do . . . I hear your name and im aflame . . Aflame with such a burning desire . . That only your kiss . . Can put out the fire . . Youre the lover youre the lover . . Youre the lover i have waited for . . Youre the girl youre the one . . Youre the chick that i was created for . . And every time your lips meet mine . . Down i go all around i go . . Like a leaf . . A leaf thats caught in the tide . . I hear your name zelda schwartz, and im aflame . . Aflame with such a burning desire . . That only your kiss kiss, kiss, kiss . . Can put out that fire . . cause youre the lover . . Lover, lover that i have waited for . . Youre the one . . Youre the mate that i was created for . . And every time your lips meet mine . . Oh, down and down and down i go . . Round and round and round i go . . In the spin man, do i dig that spin im in . . Bebobebopuhoh that old black magic called . . Youre a dirty robber . . Old black magic called . . Hooha, stay in the car . . Old black magic called . You four men go that way ill take the buckboard into town. . Under that old black magic . . Called love . It was sure certainly nice of them. Haha. I cant tell you how much i appreciate this. Sammy well, thank you, general. Peterson i said it the first time and ill say it again. When youre up on that stage, you do the work of two people. Your Insurance Company wont replace the full value of your totaled new car. The guy says you picked the wrong insurance plan. About replacing your car because youll get the full value back including depreciation. Make the switch to Liberty Mutual and see why weve been awarded highest in Customer Satisfaction by j. D. Power. Call for a free quote today. Liberty stands with you . Liberty mutual insurance. In the generals life. Oh, i am pleased that i was able to help you, master. Yeah, well, after all, who got me into the situation in the first place . [doorbell rings] ah, hey, stay out of sight, will you . Just just stay there. Huh . Oh, hi, sammy. Hi, tony. Well, we were just talking about how wonderful you were last night. Well, im glad you enjoyed it. I really appreciate what you did for us. Then would you mind doing a little favor for me . Anything. Anything at all . Oh, sure, anything. [chuckles] get rid of him. . That old black magic has me in its spell . [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [jeannie yelling] [screaming] what is it . What is it . Jeannie [screaming] what is it . Oh, master, i o ened. Calm down. Just calm down. How can i calm down when something terrible is going to happen . I i am not sure exactly, but i had this tterrible dream, and and then i woke up and jeannie, jeannie. It was a nightmare. A nightmare. Now, you go you go back to your bottle and forget all about it. Its just a dream. Oh, that is what worries me, master. My dreams always come true. Oh your . Your dreams always come true . Oh, yes, master. Something terrible is going to happen. [wailing] oh, no. Now, dont worry. Youre gonna be fine. Youre gonna be fine. It is going to happen to you [wailing] wwait. Whats gonna happen . [screaming] shh [ . . . ] [ . . ] [ . . . ] let me do that, jeannie. Oh, i am sorry, master. But i do not want to lose you. Oh, youre not gonna lose me. My dreams always come true. Yeah. Uh, jeannie, exactly what did you dream about . Well, i cannot remember exactly what it was. Well, you must have some idea. Uh, was it involving, uh, an Automobile Accident . No, i do not think so. An animal. An animal . Oh, it is all coming back to me now. Yeah . You are going to be attacked. Attacked by what . A cat. [laughing] a cat . [gasping] oh, it was terrible. It was huge and ferocious, he w crouching over you, oh, it was terr dont do that. Ready to eat you. Stop playing around. Oh and i was not there to protect you. Hi, tony. Hey, look what ive got. . For the circus. The circus . Yeah, i havent been there since i was a kid, and i thought maybe you and jeannie and i, we could go im sorry, roge, i no. But dont you like circuses . Do you know what they have at the circus . Yeah, they have tightrope walkers and clowns and acrobats and and wild animals. Yeah, wild animals. Well, jeannie had a dream last night that i was attacked by wild animals. Oh. Heres your ticket. Ill have these exchanged for two back row seats. You couldnt pay me to go to that thing. Now that we know where the trouble couldve come from, [ . . . ] give me a screwdriver, will you, roge . [sighing] oh, thanks. Hows it look . Well, the flanges are okay. The main rotor heads the one thats gonna give us a problem. Is everything all right . Oh, yes, yes. Everythings just fine. You dont have to worry. Oh, i hope you are right. The circus is probably clear on the other side of town by now. Oh, very well. Then i think i will go shopping. Good, good. You do that. Have fun. Would you like to come with me . No, no, i have to finish up this project. What are you doing . Well, im trying to miniaturize these parts. Miniaturize . Mmhm. Yeah, make smaller. Why do you want them smaller . Oh, well, one of the problems in sending up a missile is that you have to have hundreds of pounds of thrust for every payload pound you carry, you understand . What tony means is, if we can reduce the size of the parts, we can get more into the missile. Oh, i see. You mean, if that is tiny, then you will have more room for other things. Yeah, well, Something Like that, yeah. Jeannie oh, well. I am sure you will be able to do it, master. I remember once when king tut wanted to build a dam across the nile. Everyone said that it could not be done uh, jeannie, why dont you go shopping . [giggling] yes, master. Byebye. Bye. [ . . . ] heres that wiring diagram. [whistling] do you know what that looks like . That looks like the rotors been miniaturized. Jeannie niaturize the whole missile. Oh oh, tony. Tony . Tony. Tony im down here. Down where . Hi, im down here, roge. Im down hey, dont step on me. Dont what are you doing down there . She shrunk me. She blinked at the rotor head and miniaturized it, and some of it spilled over on me. Dont panic, so youre a little short. Uh uh uh, go go find jeannie. Well, she went shopping. Well, go find maybe she hasnt left yet. Yeah, okay. Ill look in the house. Donavmeere. Well, go find maybe she hasnt left yet. Dont get excited now. Be careful. Ahh youre squeezing me ill take you with me. Hold on. Youren good hands. Jeannie jeannie . Tonys in trouble re sking me. Be careful, will ya . You gotta help him tony put me down. Over there on top of the desk. Now, careful. Careful. s gone. You gotta find her. Now, look, just take it easy. Everythings gonna be all right. What do you mean, all right . Look what shes done to me. Roger hey, maybe jeannies got something there. Do you realize if she shrank a hundred astronauts, we could fit em into a capsule roger oh, yeah. Okay. Just relax. Ill go and get jeannie. And hurry yeah, okay, but, uh, dont do any walking, huh . If anybody stepped on you, youd really be short. [laughing] yeah, yeah. Hello. Anybody home . Major nelson . [meowing] its dr. Bellows. Hide. Beows uh, major nelson . Well. [meowing] [clears throat] ah, major healey. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Oh, uh, major nelsons not here. Bellows thats strange. He asked me to stop by and pick up a chart he made for me. Roger why would he do that . Oh, yeah. Well, he had to leave unexpectedly. Bellows well, ill just wait here. Bellows perhaps youre right. Ill just phone office and see if i can oh oh, i wouldnt do that, sir. On sd o hell probably be right back. You seem terribly nervous, major. Oh do you have a problem . Well, just a tiny one, sir. Ally nothing, uh, worth mentioning. Its well, im glad to hear that. Oh, dont move dont move dont move . Why . Stand still. Why . Oh, well, i, uh ahem, i lost a crystal to my watch. Oh, your crystal . Well, i. Roger ill tell you what. Why dont we tiptoe out on the patio, and well get a little suntan out there. I dont want a suntan, major. Look, do you happen to know where major nelson left that decompression chart . I oh, oh. Its its upstairs in the study. Why dont we go up to the study . Its probably there. Well just tiptoe up there. Oh, very well. Very nicely, watch out for the crystal. Watch it, watch it, watch it. Watch it. Watch it, now. Thats it. Easy does it. Up to the study we go. [growling] [ . . . ] [growling] [growling] [growling] ahh [ringing] well, um, uh, shouldnt we answer it . It might be important. Its probably the wrong number. Oh ill get it, sir. Its the telephone. Mm. [chuckles] ah. Hello. Hello, major healey. Oh, boy. Am i glad to hear from you. I am having such fun shopping that i have decided may i speak thplea . Well, uh, he cant reach the phone. I mean, we cant reach him to reach the phone. Ah, hes still working. Was he pleased at what i did . Well, uh, i dont think pleased is the word. You see, eeling very w. Feeling very low. I know why. He loves to do everything himself. He never wants me to help him. Well, i think youve overhelped him. Oh, not now oh major, can we get on with this . Roger oh, yes, sir. I will get on [chuckling] yes, sir. Yes, sir. Jeannie very well then. I will spend the whole afternoon at the market. You will not believe this, but i have found a twoforone sale. Byebye, major healey. Oh dont go dont go hhello . Oh, she just hung up. [screaming] jeannie [cat growling] ow [screaming] [ . . . ] [growling] [pasodoble music playing] ha, ha. [screaming] jeannie ahh tony get outta here, you bruiser back, back no jeannie look out, look out, look out you, you, you, you look out jeannie back back back i knew they had to be here. Wait a minute, sir. What . Ill go first, sir. Oh, yes, the crystal. Yeah, crystal. Tippytoe. Well, uh, id better be getting back to the base. Oh, uh, tell major nelson i have the chart, will you . Yeah, well, hell be glad you missed him. I mean, hell be sorry he missed you. Hm. Yes. Oh, i did want to discuss this chart with him before i turned in it. I know, i can go over it with you in my office. Good idea, sir. First thing monday morning. No, i meant now, major healey. Al peterson is waiting for it. Did you have anything more important to do . [cat meows] [meowing] huh . Major, i asked you did you have anything more important to do . Well, no, sir. Ill ill be right there, sir. All right. [smacking] oh, what a way to go. If youre ready, major. Bye, buddy. [ . . . ] [thud] [yelling] whoa ah, whoa ahh jeannie, jeannie let me off this thing, will ya . Jeannie [screaming] jeannie do something [growls] turn this thing off, will ya . Lady, would you mind not pinching the oranges. But, how else can i tell whether they are ripe . You buy them, and then you pinch them. In atlantis, we always pinch them. Please keep your hands off the fruit. How much are they . Twentynine cents a pound. Twentynine cents . Why, that is robbery in atlantis, the oranges are 10 times the size of these, and we only charge three teklas. Look, lady. Im not running a debating society. If youre not gonna buy anything, please move on. Oh, no wonder you are so bad tempered. You are ashamed of the poor merchandise you have to sell. Ah. Now, here is a real orange. You may pinch this if you like. And i would suggest that you do not charge more than three teklas for that. Goodbye. Whoa, wait a minute hey, wait a minute [cat growling] ahh [screaming] [thud] [growls] [growling] [cat roars] [growls] [loud ringing] [screaming] oh, no what is it . [ringing continues] hey, help help [sighs] [screaming] [growling] [ringing stops] [ . . . ] [ . . . ] [growling] [screaming] Jeannie Jeannie well, major, this test is most encouraging. You spent over seven and a half hours under stress in the Decompression Chamber without any adverse psychological effects. Well, im happy to say that youre completely normal. Dr. Bellows . Mm . Theres something i better tell you. Yes . [sighs] what are you talking about . Major nelson, sir. You killed major nelson . I shouldve done something, but i didnt know there was a cain the house. You didnt know there was a cat in the house . Its its hard to believe. What are we gonna do . Were going to start your test all over again. Now, major. [growling] [screaming] jeannie master . Jeannie master, im home. [meowing] [screaming] are ou doing playing with the cat . What . That is a terrible thing to do. I told you cats were dangerous for you. And so tiny. You had no business to oh. Youre too late, jeannie. Too late for what . Ddont you know what happened to tony . Tony . Tony oh i didnt kill him oh, oh, oh i didnt kill him. I didnt kill him. When i saw the cat licking his lips why did you let him play with the cat . And playing with the cat. Why did roger . What do you mean . I should always be here whole thing. We were in the garage minding our own business when you decided to shrink no, i wasnt [ . . . ] when you decided to shrink no, i wasnt [narrator] what if you had a medical emergency away from home . My chest hurts, i cant breathe. 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Oh, well, i was just playing with the little little cat. Yes. I came over to bring you the results of your psychological tests. Oh, yes, sir. Im afraid well have to start the tests all over again. [kitten meows] goodbye, major. You dont have to leave. Dont leave me here with [sighs] [tony screaming] no, stop back back jeannie [ . . . ] back jeannie . Green acres is the place to be . . Farm livin is the life for me . . Land spreadin out so far and wide . Give me that countryside . . New york is where id rather stay . . I get allergic smelling hay . . I just adore a penthouse view . . Darling, i love you, but give me park avenue . . The chores . . The stores . . Fresh air . . Times square . . You are my wife