Thank you doc. We are talking to george burns. Rodney dangerfield, michael constantine, and Shana Alexander will be with us. The special is tomorrow. Its on cbs. It follows bing, doesnt it . Yes, bing crosby. We made a deal between us. Hes not going to fool around with red rose rag and im not going to touch white christmas. [ laughter ] you mentioned the show. You talk about acting a little bit as you do in your book. You said you didnt find it too difficulty. You just listen and react to what people say. I think so. I think its much tougher to do what we are doing right now, or standing up and doing a monologue. Youve got nobody to help you. Youre on your own, you know . And you cant do it over. Thats it. But when you are doing a movie, you get up and do a scene, if its no good they do it over, you do it again. And then youve got Walter Matthau on one side, Dick Benjamin on the other. Were there any scenes you had to do, say, more than two or three times . Not me. [ applause ] i lie a lot. Im doing another movie. Im doing a movie with john denver. You wont believe the part. I know the part because when i saw you up in las vegas you told me you were doing a movie with john denver, and the part you play, god, is that right . Yes. Its oh, god. Im playing god. You see, in the sunshine boys, i played a character. Now im playing god, im back to george burns again. [ laughter ] how are you going to play god and smokci at the same time . God doesnt smoke. He doesnt smoke, and its a very tough kind of a thing. Ive got to try to make it believable. Ive got to make john denver believe he ran into god. Ive got to make the audience believe that too. If i dont do that weve got no show. Now you are seen as god, right . A very very soft god. Trying to be believable and believe the words. The words are good. If i can say them and make them believable i think it will work. Thats a big challenge. Sure. We dug through some of your old scrapbook here. Is this yes thats you and gracie. Yes thats me and thats was that a publicity ad . Yes, i look like jerry ford there, dont i . Yes. [ laughter ] a little bit. That was we did the college swing. Bob hope was in the picture, and betty grable, and jackie coogan. Heres gracie with w. C. El yes, that was International House. [ applause ] did that take place on an ocean liner . Yes, International House was on an ocean liner. Thats the one i was trying to think of the other night. I knew it was a picture with all these stars and took place on a bill fields came to my house for dinner one night and he said to the driver, go get me my vest. I forgot my vest. I says, bill if youre cold, ill give you my sweater. He said, no, no, no, and theres little bottles of gin in each pocket. I said, you dont have to send home for your vest. Ive got a bottle of gin. He said to the bartender, dont bother. The driver, he said, dont bother, ive got a new source. A new source . [ laughter ] is this the earlier days from the radio show . Yes, i think so. Oh, that was gracie. Gracie read the paper, and i said to gracie, whats todays date . And she says, well, i dont know. I says, well look at the paper. She says, it wont help. Its yesterdays paper. [ laughter ] heres thats bing. Bing. Bing, jack, and myself doing goldie, fields, and glide. The worst act in show business. [ laughter ] you know, i can go on and tell you about goldie, fields, and glide for four or five days, but we wont. This is jack benny i remember the very first time you did that on television. Ive got to tell you one story about that. He loved the way he looked and he wouldnt take the dress off. [ laughter ] i said, jack, take that dress off. He says, no, no, no, i want to go home and show mary how i look. So two days later i got a call from mary. She said, look, youre jacks best friend. Come over here. If he doesnt take the dress off im going to divorce him. [ laughter ] so i went over there and i says, mary, wheres jack . She says, hes upstairs shaving his legs again. [ laughter ] and this one is is this Queen Elizabeth . No, thats the princess. Princess. Thats the princess, yes. Command performance in england . I did a command performance for her. A story about that, i went upstairs after the performance and i said, its nice to meet you. She wasnt there. The lady waiting says, im not the princess. Im the lady waiting. I said, oh, its nice to meet you too. Didnt know what to say, and we sat and we talked. Finally she got up and i thought it was time to leave. So i got up and i says, well, goodbye. She says, no, no, no, im suppose to leave first. So she left, and i got up again, and the lady waiting says, no, no, no, im suppose to leave first. So she left and i sat there until the lights went out and then the usher came up and said, you can leave now. [ laughter ] protocol, england. I think morty sits over there by the piano. You want me to fool around . Wouldnu youve got to sing something. [ applause ] hello, fellows. Doc, its nice to see you again. Can i move this over here . Right there. Anywhere you want. Okay, lets try red rose rag. Why not, we havent done that for a long time. [ applause ] [ music ] where the red roses grow, oh my i want to go. Pluck me like a flower, cuddle me an hour, lovie let me learn the red rose rag. Red leaves are falling in a rosy romance, bees hum, come, nows your chance. Dont go hunting possums, mingle with the blossoms, in that flowery, bowery dance. Oh honeymoon, shine on in june, and hear me croon this lovely tune. Trees and bees are sighing and crying, lovie let me learnth thats enough of that. [ applause ] okay, let me give you a little preview of what im going to sing tomorrow night on my special. The birds are sweetly singing, the birds are sweetly singing, the birds are sweetly singing, a few bells are ringing, good. Thats my first number. And then for my finish ive got a great number that i think is very very exciting. It was written by norv by, whats his first name . Hamlisch. Marvin. Marvin hamlisch and tim rice. [ music ] like most people everywhere, ive had my wear and tear. Ok, thats my closing number. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ music ] he is quite a man. Last of the breed, right . The book is charming, or they still love me in altoona the specials tomorrow night. Rodney dangerfield will be with us, right after this. [ music ] okay, my next guest loves to perform because he loves audiences. Unfortunately, he gets no respect. Even his own club in new york, dangerfield, he gets no respect. So, i see no reason to change that tonight. [ laughter ] rodney dangerfield. [ applause ] [ music ] what a crowd, what a crowd. Beautiful, beautiful. [ applause ] you know me, i love crowds, you know that. I mean when i was a kid my house was always crowded, always people around. I come for old fashion, [ laugher ] what a dumb family ive got. Last week i looked up my family tree, two dogs were using it. [ laughter ] i dont know. I tell you, lately nothings going right. You know . Im gaining weight. I cant stay on a diet. Last week i went nuts. I tried the rice diet. You kidding me. Between meals, i kept folding my shirts. [ laughter ] i mean i cant relax. You know . Having a few drinks. I looked over at the bartender , i said, surprise me. He showed me a naked picture of my wife. [ laughter ] i tell you, last week was a rough week for me. I broke up with my psychiatrist too last week. He told me im going crazy. I said to him, if you dont mind, id like a second opinion. He said, all right, you are ugly too. [ laughter ] and then he told me to lay on the couch face down. I tell you, when i was a kid i knew i was ugly. When i was born, the doctor, he smacked my mother. [ laughter ] my old man, he made me feel ugly. On halloween, he sent me out as is. [ laughter ] he did a lot of things, my old man. One year, he tried to make me a poster boy for birth control. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i tell you, i went through a lot of things when i was a kid. The kids all made fun of me. They made fun of my cousin too. They called him, four eyes. Later on he got glasses, and then they called him eight eyes. [ laughter ] i tell you, on my block the kids were tough. All over my face i had pimples, and they use to grab me and play connect the dots. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i tell you, sometimes i mean, i dont get any respect at all. Every time i get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me, basement . [ laughter ] its the same thing in my own house, no respect. My boys birthday was last week. We had a party, brought out the cake, the kid blew out all the candles. I said to him, i hope your wish comes true. He said, if it does, thats the last time you will watch me blow out candles. [ laughter ] smart kid ive got. My wife, shes no better than the rest of them, my wife. My own wife, how do you think i feel . I mean, she kisses the dog on her lips and she wont drink from my glass. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i tell you, the first time i made love to my wife, that was a beauty too. I got curious. I said to her, how many guys have been before this . She looked at me. She said, not enough to make up for this. [ music ] great crowd. Great crowd. Beautiful people out there. How you been johnny . You all right . Im fine rodney. You told me back in make up you had a cold but it didnt seem to bother you working. Well a cold always bothers you. No one knows it when you have a ld what do you want to do . A dramatic lecture here on a cold . [ laughter ] i have no cold jokes at all. Maybe its the swine flu. I got the shot. Did you . Oh yes, the doctor gave me the shot back in new york when i was working the club. The club is still there. Things are going good. Seven years now, dangerfields. Seven years. Things are going real good, you know. I finally paid off the ice machine. [ laughter ] real good. Its always nice to come out here. Youve got such beautiful girls here in california. You like it out in california. The last one was not even a beautiful girl, she was a fortune teller. She read my palm and asked me for five dollars. Then she read my mind, and asked me for fifty dollars. [ laughter ] i tell you what, girls, you better watch yourself johnny. You better watch yourself with girls. You bet. I met a girl last week, she told me she was scorpio. Found out she spent four years under leo. [ laughter ] thats enough about girls. Girlle all you hear today is sex. Ill tell you the truth johnny. With sex, ive had it up to here. Not lately though, you know. [ laughter ] youve got to count your blessings though, you know. Yes. Youve got to count your blessings. Im doing okay today. Ive been broke all my life you know. Youve got money now. Im doing okay, holding my own, doing all right, you know what i mean. I was a kid that had nothing. I was poor. Oh, i was poor when i was a kid, you know. I was so poor, my rich uncle died, and in the will i owed him twenty dollars. [ laughter ] my uncle, he was a lazy guy though. Was he now . He was so lazy he married a girl that was pregnant. [ laughter ] lazy, lazy. [ applause ] thats too lazy. Thats too lazy. That is lazy. Lazys no good, its not healthy. And thats the whole thing, health. Health is important. Youve got to take care of your health johnny. Im getting old. Ive got to watch myself. Really, im getting old, and its so tough when you get old to take care of yourself. I know im getting old. The last i played the slot machine. Three prunes came up. [ laughter ] thats a tip off. Whats your doctor friend tell you to do . My doctor friend . Yes. We will get to him later on. Oh, i see. Dont want to talk about him now, huh . Well get to the doctor, you know. Weve got a few things to say about him too. But the things is, youve got to meet the right people. The right people are important. I meet the wrong people johnny. Always meet the wrong people. Last week i met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette. [ laughter ] you mean Vinnie Boombatz . Thats the one. He keeps away from people. He goes out in his boat alone, stays in his boat, hes always riding in his boat. In fact, his new book is all about boats. Oh, whats it called . Great book, great book. Its called, should a man buy a yacht if his girlfriend laughs at his dingy . [ laughter ] i think ive read that. Great, great book. Its coming out soon. Very funny. I cant relax, thats my trouble. Really. All tense, huh . Always tense, cant relax. Ive g d ive got a dog. My dog makes me feel like im 30. He jumps in my bed and he smells it for an hour before he lays down on it. [ laughter ] i tell you, my dog, i cant figure him out. I took him for a walk the other night. Yes. He did number three. [ laughter ] i dont know, pick the topic johnny. What do you want to talk about . What can i tell you, ive got to relax though. I dont sleep at all lately. Dreams every night. I had a bad dream last night. Oh, what was that about . My dream last night, i took a walk down memory lane, and my wife was working it. [ laughter ] it was a very very bad dream. That can make you wake up. Oh, i woke right up, i tell you. My wife, she drives me nuts anyways. Always wants me to take her out to classy restaurants. I dont like it. They are too fancy. You want to go to the mens room, it never says, mens room. Theyve got signs like romeo, juliet, anthony, cleopatra. If you dont know your history youll end up with a kidney condition. [ laughter ] youve got to watch yourself. Nobody has it easy in life johnny. Thats right. I talk to people all over the place, nobody. I feel sorry for short people. Whys that . When it rains, theyre the last ones to know about. [ laughter ] i tell you, sometimes around short people i get very uncomfortable, very. Very uncomfortable . Now the last time i went to a health spa, i was standing there naked, and a very short guy told me i look terrific. [ laughter ] very short guy. In the health spa, naked . Im happy he didnt shake hands with me, i tell you. That was a good line. I wish i had more like that. [ applause ] we will be right back, [ music ] michael constantine, you may well remember, won an emmy for his portrayal of the principal in a television series, room 222 and hes the star of a new nbc series called, sirotas court which has its premier episode tomorrow night at 9 00. Which follows don ris, which has its premiere tomorrow night, and mclean stevenson. Would you welcome, michael constantine. [ music ] i just said when you walked around the corner, its been a long time. Do you . Yes, i feel great. George burns is who i want to be when i grow up. Wouldnt you like to be 80 you keep working. You were very funny. Thank you very much. I was telling people the story that you told about the guy that kept robbing you. It cracked me up. Robbing you and you left a note that said, dont bother to rob me, im here. And the guy robbed you and left a note for you that said. Well, not exactly. How did i get into that . Now that you opened that, whats the joke . Well the joke is, i said, now ill screw it up, watch. [ laughter ] the joke is, when i left i left a note on the front door. I left the radio on, the lights on. The note said, im inside. He came over and i still got robbed. The guy left his own note. He said, i looked all over for you. [ laughter ] i love that story. Thanks for bringing it up. Are you looking forward to your opening tomorrow night . Yes. So, youve played a principal, you played clarence darrow, right . Yes. Judge sirota in sirotas court. This has to do with night court doesnt it . Which gets all the crazies and the zanies, you know. In new york, occasional, its very interesting. You know, if youre in psychology, a lot of psychology students in new york. Colleges go down and sit in night court. I suppose they do it in los angeles also. Oh yes, its a cheap date, you know. It is. People go down and just watch night court. The things that pass in front of you. Very incredible. Yes, and weve got them all on this show. I cant believe we are getting away with half of it, but its zany. Its a c s from room 222. Right. Which was, funny and sometimes serious. This one has little serious moments, but its got popping overtones. Right. Its just nutty. Would you ever like to, i said youve played a principal, youve played darrow, an attorney, and now you you are a judge. Any of those professions appeal to you if you hadnt become an actor . Well, actually, before i became an actor, i really thought, well, im just going to be a bum because id hated every job that id ever had. I just couldnt stand them. What did you do . For some strange reason i ask this question frequently because i find most actors have had a variety of strange jobs that normally they didnt like. Well, just before i became an actor, i was the manager of the Dairy Department in the food fair supermarket in reading, pennsylvania. There were not a lf a buddy and i sat down one night, and i got this light from above that said, no, im not lazy. I dont think anyone is lazy, its a matter of finding something that you could do for 12 hours and not care how tired you are because you like doing it. I was so naive, i said, my buddy and i talked for three hours and we said, what do we like . Now not what weve been told we should like. Well, do they really do anything for me . Does the smell of flowers really knock me out . No. We went through all that, and it turned out that my things all had to do with some kind of entertainment. So i thought, well, i couldnt even conceive of movies at that time. I thought well, i heard that theres a place called broadway in new york where they do plays, its not movies. And i was that naive. I didnt know. And i said, hey, i heard theres a girl that i went to highschool with two years ago whos studying acting well if its something you can study, its something you can learn. Maybe i can go there and learn that. I was just so naive, and there was a Divine Providence guiding me, like it guides all fools i guess. The next day im walking down the street, and heres the girl that had been studying acting in new york walking down the street. So i said, hey, who are you studying with in new york . And she told me, and i went and met her teacher, and that was the beginning. See, if you wrote that as a scenario for a movie script, nobody would buy it. It would bore the hell that would never happen. Its a one in a million shot. Yes. So did you first work in the theatre . Yes, it took me about six years before anybody paid me for acting. I went to the Dramatic School and then i went around trying to get work, and id do these little off broadway shows. That was before anybody had heard of off broadway. You had to get an agent down in a hermetically sealed casket. You know. Nobody even wanted to come to see you in them, they didnt pay you for those. Those were free for about six years before i finally got paid for acting. I guess thats before equity came in and no, no, there was equity. Im not that old john. There was equity, i just couldnt get a job. Right. So what did you do in the meantime to survive . Oh, just a host of wonderful jobs, like. You must have been an usher. Every actor ive met was an usher somewhere in a movie theatre. No, i was very big with being a night counterman and then there was, you work nights a lot as an actor because you want the days free to look for work. But, i remember once i was a i worked in a shooting gallery. I was a barker in a shooting gallery on 52nd street and 7th avenue, or broadway, whatever it is in new york, and they had tommy guns. It wasnt just rifles, it was tommy guns. You had more chances to get killed that way standing in front of them. And id stand there and say, here you go, bang, bang, and i did that all day long. We are going to show you a short film clip from mikes new show. It debuts tomorrow night on nbc, called, sirotas court about some of the wacky things that go on during night court. I guess it will speak for itself. Yes, i guess. This is not exactly my big scene or anything like that, it just shows you some of the people on the show and some of the nuttiness. Wants the monitor here. Bob you want to . The court calls lv tyrone. For a second. What kind of person walks around in public like this . [ laughter ] in a mismatched, totally uncoordinated, obviously off the rack outfit. Its incredibly tacky. [ laughter ] whats the charge . Because if its creating an eyesore, im throwing the case out. [ laughter ] want charges your honor . Take your pick. We have disturbing the peace, we have vagrancy, we have loitering in a public place, and we have the biggie, of prostitution. Ppp. [ laughter ] how do you plead mr. Tyrone . Your honor, your honor theres been a great deal of discussion about this mans appearance. But the color of his clothing is not why hes here. It is the color of his skin that has marked him a criminal. If mr. Tyrone were a white man, but mr. Tyrone is black. And weve all been conditioned to believe that white is good and black is bad, white is clean, black is dirty. You are married in white, you are buried in black. Did i hear a not guilty anywhere in there . [ laughter ] you most certainly did, your honor. Good, case is continued. Whats the next oh your honor, we request an immediate trial. Tomorrow my client begins a religious retreat. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] is the arresting officer in court . Yes, right here your honor. Do you have a report . Yes your honor. The defendant was observed reconoitering the a level of the bus terminal. And also observed approaching female arrivals in a suggestive manner. He was overheard to mutter such phrases as, lv is the best. Be my baby. And, 50 a trick. Are there witnesses in court . Yes your honor. Thats him, but he only offered me 20. [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats a premise that could really work well because you have a gold mine of things to draw on. Every experience in life. Tremendous. I should say that there are a couple of members of our cast, as i said, that was not what you call my big scene, but it gave you a chance on the show. One of the people you didnt see, is an actor named ted ross, who was in the wiz in new york, who got a tony award in the wiz and, and whos wonderful on the show. And owen bush, who you only saw just a little bit. I saw fred willard who used to be with the Ace Trucking Company and victor buono, sitting in there. Yes. So good luck with it. Thank you, very much. I look forward to seeing it tomorrow, mike. We will be right back. Shana alexander will join us in just a minute. Im looking forward to, and i think you will enjoy it, meeting Shana Alexander. She was a journalist on life magazine for 18 years, columnist for newsweek, and shes a regular speaker on cbss 60 minutes every week, and shes written a fascinating account of experiences called, talking woman. Would you welcome please, Shana Alexander. [ applause ] [ music ] welcome. Im awfully glad to be here. Im glad to have you. I saw you again the other night doing battle at the end of the show with kirkpatrick all the time. Have you ever agreed on anything with him . Well, only off stage. I find on of the most fascinating parts of 60 minutes is when you take an issue each week and go at it from two different directions. This week, i remember you were talking about that strange situation in utah with gilmore. Yes, hes finally going to get his way. I saw on the headlines tonight. You were really kind of against that, because you thought ke to kill himself if he wants to get himself executed, but im not sure that i want to be part of it. You know, i dont want to vote for it. Didnt you find it rather chilling when that happened, that they had many people who showed up who wanted to be members on that firing squad . Yes, thats why that just chills me. Capital punishment doesnt deter. Yes, i mean, this may sound weird, but i found that strange that somebody would want to shoot somebody that they didnt even know. Theres a fellow in texas that would like to get executed on live tv. Probably youll have a number of volunteers coming to this show. That will be something to what a rating. Im surprised they havent tried to make a game show out of that. You, see television, theyll hear that. Theyll say, we will do the electrocution of the week and it will be a daytime game show. [ laughter ] theyll go to a different place. Only be the first time. Youll get used to it. Thats right. Hey, your book, the title talking woman im familiar with that term. Because that is a show business term really. It has to do mainly with vaudeville or a woman who would have a part, a speaking part. Well i learned it from george. Right. In those days, couldnt open their mouth. Yes, they were dancers or in the chorus. Or you threw knives at them, you know, if you were their husband. But if you were a talking woman, you got paid double. Thats right. So i realized id been talking all my life on paper, or in radio, and i put it all together in a book. Many writers i talk with say writing is such a difficult job, sometimes you say its even kind of anguish to sit down and write. I say i almost have terminal writers block, but the deadline gets me out of it once a week, or once a month. How do you, i remember Robert Benchleys comment once when he was working, which i love. He said he had one of those days where he said he would show up to work at the paper and nothing would happen. He would put the paper in the typewriter, you remember that story im sure. Keep going. He would sit there for awhile, and he would type the word, the and he would get up and go out with Heywood Broun and a few of the boys, and he would come back at the end of the day and finish, hell with it and go home. [ laughter ] thats all that would come out. Dont you have days and nothing meshes . Well, i remember the story about oscar wilde. Do you remember that one . He worked all day, and he came down at the end of the day and they said, what did you do today, mr. Wilde . He said, i put in a comma. The next day, he came down at dinnertime again. They said, what did you do today . He said, i took it out. [ laughter ] thats got to be a torturous process. Awful. Do you set a certain hour of the day where you will get up . I know some writers will start at like 6 30 in the morning and work all the way through. No, i awaken sometime around four, or five, or three, and it starts. Its writing in there, and if i get up and get to the typewriter fast enough, i can get it down before i get nervous. Do you find that youre a deadline writer . Yes. Did you write better sometimes when you were under the pressure . I only write when im under the pressure. Isnt that strange . Yes. I have something to do, its a bad habit, procrastination. I find i have to do something, or if its a show, then i wait until the last minute to prepare something, it always seems to come out better. Because, maybe, it doesnt have time to cool, and you dont have time to look at it too long, im working on another book on patty hearst. Im just coming to the end of it, and now that im having fun, going around being in show business, and talking about this book, suddenly patty is sort of coming out of my fingers. Do you find thats the difference between being a journalist and doing the 60 minutes . The one is obviously more show business. I love being in show business. I finally made it. It took a long time, and i came from that background, but i always was hiding in the wings until. I didnt know, freddie came up to me today, we will talk about your dad in a moment, because thats kind of fascinating. I didnt know that he was such a well knowng we will talk about it in a moment. We will be right back. Stay with us. [ music ] we are talking with Shana Alexander. Your dads name was ager, right . Yes, it still is. Well of course it is. Hes older than george burns. Really . Yes, hes 83. He plays golf three days a week. And hes a songwriter. Yes, hes a swell songwriter. Happy days are here again, aint she sweet, hard hearted hannah, im nobodys baby, i wonder whats become of sally. Those are all big hits. Good songs. I didnt know that. Are you still . I was born on his birthday, so he wrote aint she sweet for his first born daughter. Thats about you . Well, roughly speaking. Well, thats nice. Its contemporary, yes. Did you ever want to follow in that direction . Yes, but i couldnt sing. I wrote one piece. I wrote a love song to mth which is in this book. You admire Martha Mitchell. She was kind of a foolish character, or the press made her foolish, but she seems to be one of the people in washington who called long before other people were willing to make it public. She was the only one who was telling the truth and they made fun of her. And when they needed somebody to kind of liven up that boring Nixon Administration in the early months before we knew what crooks they were, they made fun of her. She was a big gag, right . And then suddenly she said, or how it is, or as it is, whatever the word is. Right. And she said, they are up to dirty tricks. So they kidnapped her, took her away, they needled her derriere, and they shut her up. But, shes the only one who was telling the truth, and so i wrote a public love song to Martha Mitchell, and when i sent her an advanced copy, this in newsweek magazine, i sent it up when she was barricaded in that apartment on fifth avenue. I went out to lunch, when i came back, there was a message, Martha Mitchell called. She liked the piece very much tell you herself, but she never talks to the press. [ laughter ] that was kind of tragic in a way, wasnt it . Yes, it was very tragic because she was very straight, and they would say things about her, like they say that she drank. As if that was proof that you didnt tell the truth. Well if you ask any bartender, you cant help from hearing the truth, right . Right. I would imagine that in washington thats a good source of information, isnt it . Restaurants and bars. When you interview people, who would you rather interview . Men or women . Because theyre more fun to be with than women, or so i used to think. Yes. I get along easily with both. Sometimes you hit somebody who is so much like yourself. Liv ullmann was an example for me. I went to see her, and when i got home, i played the tape. I found out i had told her the story of my life because she was so sympathetic. You got comfortable. All you can hear of liv on this tape, its very funny, she says, oh, no. And you are going on and on about your oh dear she says. But thats also a great device, isnt it, for a journalist, is to make the person feel comfortable. Because you get a lot of information sometimes that you do not expect to get. Well sometimes, like the thurber joke, you know, you find out more than you want to know, or then you need to know. But, im comfortable with other people and it seems to bounce back. We get on all right. You have a chapter in your book ive always believed, and my wife joanne doesnt particularly go along with it, ive said that i think a good, healthy fight, occasionally, it doesnt mean you battle from the time you get up in the morning, but occasionally, if the fight is fair, im not talking about a physical fight, im talking about a verbal exchange where you get everything out, is healthy. I one time interviewed a fellow, he was a marriage counselor, and he said, we need more fighting for happier marriages. So i wrote this thing in life magazine that the Book Publishers wanted us to do a book. So we began to put it into a book, and we worked everyday. We started to fight with each other, i started to fight with my husband. I was a non fighter, which is the most, nasty, aggressive thing you can be. Oh, you mean the cool, detached, and you dont say anything . You fall asleep, or you watch television. [ laughter ] you Say Something and you get that kind of, im going to my room. That is the most aggressive thing you can do you see. And you store that all up . Yes. So what kind of rules do you have if you have this fighting . Well, what you try to do, is every so often, sit down. Some people make appointments to fight. They sit down, they have a martini, and they have a reasonable, civilized fight. The point is to not hit below the belt, and if you are married to someone, you know where. You know all of those little tricks. So, youre just like your mother, so youre just like your father, and you are off into a real thats right. Theres always something and you know it. We had one couple in therapy that. Ed is laughing. He knows. Hes seen me go through some of these battles. There were a couple of people in there who hadnt spoken to one another. They were very aggressive non fighters for about a year, almost two years. They had a son. They had dinner together every night at the family dinner table and if it was ever absolutely to talk, he would say, would you tell your mother that so he got in therapy and they got the mother and father in, who by the way, slept every night in the same bed and lead what you would call a normal life, but they didnt speak for a year and a half. Physically they had physically everything was going, but they wouldnt talk, and they were two very stubborn people. [ laughter ] this is true. They may have something there. [ laughter ] once every so often, its, hey. [ laughter ] i find that thats an extreme case. Yes it was an extreme case. Extremely. And finally the doctor solved the case. He brought them all into therapy, and about six weeks later, he called me up and says, finally, they talked. And i said, which one spoke first . He says, the husband. I said, what did he say . He says, i dont want to talk about it. [ laughter ] or, i want a divorce. Do you enjoy 60 minutes . I love 60 minutes. How do subjects come up in which you are going to jack and i call one another up. I see. People ask me all the time, do i believe it, what i say . You sound like you do. Of course i do. I believe it passionately. Im not sure that he believes. He almost sounds like a put on sometimes. Sometimes. So you agree on something in the news. We agree to disagree, and then whoever goes first, if im on point, i write it out and i call jack up, and through the magic of ma bell, i tell him what im going to say so that he can prepare a rebuttal. And then the next week, it turns around. And then you speak first right. Thats fascinating. Do you think, still touching on watergate, it was an interesting thing in this past election. Im sure that the people found out that watergate didnt really enter into those elections to any extent whatsoever, that they thought it might, or the aftermath of watergate. Do you find it pretty well dead now and people really want to forget and have had it . Watergate made people very cynical, and so the pollsters, im so glad when the pollsters are wrong. Get inside my head. No, but they said people were going to stay home in droves. They didnt stay home in droves, because it wasnt apathy, but it was a kind of cynicism because theyd been lying to us for so long. Right. And so in that sense watergate had an effect i think. Yes, but im with you. Its so nice when all the people showed up. They might of had the same attitude. Im going to prove them wrong. Im going to go vote. Lets take a break. We are back. The book is just out, i guess, recently, right . About a couple of weeks. Its called talking woman and its filled with all kinds of is there anybody youve always wanted to interview that youve never been able to . They said, absolutely not. We dont want to talk. Well, you. Really . Yes. I get reluctant. I really clam up. I dont know what it is. Ive been accused of being cold and aloof. You told me in between here that youd been asked to be yes. This makes me so nervous i can hardly stand it and 60 minutes doesnt bother me at all. It was very nice. Mike wallace called and i said, i was flattered and i dont know why, i backed away from it. I think i get too serious sometimes. I get on a show like that and i think if theres anything bad, its to sit around and talk about comedy, and so forth, and start to discuss it. Well, you cant talk about comedy and you cant talk about wit. You cant explain it. Thats right. You can just embody it and do it, and thats what you do. Anyway, i thank you for being here tonight. Thank you. And mike, tomorrow night. Sirotas court on nbc. 9 00. Rodney, you are going back to your club in new york i assume . Right. Good. Goodnight. [ music ] [theme music] ladies and gentlemen. A special word to those of you who have rushed to drivein theaters to watch this show. Please stop sending us your tickets for speeding. Unfortunately, we cannot validate them. Tonights narrative is about gangsters, and i thought id better test i would like to play the flight of the bumblebee for you, but we must get on with the show. Our story is entitled the better bargain. And speaking king . Yes . Cutters here again. Well have him come in. Honest boss, is that jerk really an eye . Enough to tail anybody. Look, if i want your ideas, ill ask for them. In the meantime, tell him to come in. Okay boss. Come on in. How do you do mr. Koster . Hello cutter. Well, it certainly is a nice day. Sit down please. Thank you. My, uh, assistant outside thinks youre the kind of man who isnt bright enough to make a good detective. Me . I [laughs] yes, indeed i am. Why, youre like a bug in a patch of grass. No one would look at you twice. Absolutely. It helps me in my job. All right bug, what did you find out on this job . This is my first report. Lets see it. Oh, it isnt typed out. Ill have to read it to you. My, uh, handwriting isnt very good. Go ahead, shoot. July 12th, trailed woman to the zoo. In the birdhouse of paradise. Yeah, she likes birds, all right. All kinds. Go on. In front of a cage, she again met the same man that she did yesterday in the bar. About 30, looks like a young professor or executive. Dressed conservatively in a dark suit all right, skip the coat and tie and come to the point. Followed couple out of the zoo to taxi stand. Woman got into a cab and drove away. Trailed man to hotel lobby but lost him in convention crowd. Half a dozen times with your wife. Doesnt prove my wifes cheating on me its just what the law calls circumstantial evidence. True enough, but uh why shouldnt a woman half my age have a man as a friend . Oh, you think i cant face the truth, huh . Mine is an extremely cynical profession, mr. Koster. We always assume the worst. Its refreshing to find a husband who refuses to make two and two add up to five. Now look cutter now you neednt try to convince me. What if she has met this man . To the zoo a couple of times . So, she likes birds. What if he did buy her a drink a couple of times . So, she likes a cocktail. If she didnt want to tell me about it, thats her business. Isnt it . Yes. Who is he . Whats his name . Whats he do for a living . Well i wasnt able to find out yesterday when i lost him but uh, believe me, ill get a line on him the next time they meet. Oh uh, you do want me to, of course. Day and night. Good. Oh, im sorry. Come in, marion. Meet mr. Cutter. How do you do, mr. Cutter . Its a pleasure, mrs. Koster. Well, goodbye. Who was that . Oh thats one of my accountants. Hes doing the books. Oh, well i hope im not interrupting anything. Of course not. You know im always happy when you drop in. You yes . Well, you remember Claire Bigelow . She was my dearest friend when we were in show business together. Yes, i remember. She married that car dealer in cleveland. Yes, well shes been very lonely since he died and i didnt know he was dead. When did it happen . Well i thought i told you. Two months ago. So, she called me this morning and asked me if id come and visit her for the weekend. I said id ask you. Well, how long will you be away . Oh, just a couple of days. But if you dont want me to go, enough money for the trip . Yes, plenty. Thank you. Arent you going to kiss me goodbye . Im only going to be away for two days dear. Louis, not so rough my hat, it cost you 85. Yes. Goodbye dear. Goodbye. Have a good time in cleveland. Wally. Yeah . Pass the word along i want harry silver to get in touch with me. Harry silver . Yes, harry silver, you dumb ox harry silver well sure but but what . But youve never given a job to anyone as big as him. Who said i had a job for him . Dont ya . Maybe, maybe not. But if i do, howve you been, harry . Not bad, king, not bad at all. I havent seen you for a couple of years. Whereve you been . Here, there. Whats on your mind, king . I might have a job for you. Dont your own boys carry guns anymore . Well, this could be a very special job. I wouldnt trust those morons that work for me [laughs]. Would you . I dont work very often these days but when i do, i come high. Ill pay you 10,000. It may go higher. Well what do you mean . 10,000 is a lot of money and to me this is worth im not interested in what its worth to you, im interested in the job. I fix my fee accordingly. It may be more than 10,000, it may be less. I can tell better after i hear what it is. More than 10,000 . Sure, if i think its worth it. So tell me the story and doc doing an operation. So much for an appendix, so much for an amputation. Itll be a take it or leave it proposition because i never bargain. If you say harry its no, thats okay by me. Well i understand your setup but as i say, there is no job yet. You mean this is just a little social get together . Yes, kind of. You see, im not certain yet that i want anything done. Doing the dealing and how the cards are coming up. Usually yes. Well how come this time you goofed . Look harry, lets cut out this shoptalk, shall we . Lets have a drink. All right. For all i know, there wont be anything for you to do. So, lets just have a friendly little chat, shall we . Fine. Youre looking good, king, kept your weight down. I go to the gym a lot. Over the rocks . Yeah. Lately . No, not since i got into real estate, etcetera. So youre a legitimate businessman. Mmhmm. Yes, now im legitimate. Since i last saw you, harry, i got married. Heard about it in detroit. My wifes 25 years old. No . Yes. Im twice her age. Ive given her everything. You were always generous with young chicks. [laughs] i made a will and left her all i have the house, the stocks, the money in the bank. It isnt peanuts, harry, its millions. She can have anything she wants in the world, except the one thing. Another man. Im ahead of you now. Well dont be. It might be just a false alarm. You see, its a matter of geography. What do you mean . Do you know a detective named cutter . No, i dont think so. Well it all depends on whether or not cutters in cleveland. And if hes not in cleveland . Then ill have a job for you. Painful or quiet . Thats up to you. You see its a guy and the dame. Both . Cleveland. So do i. You know, king, if by any chance i have to do this job, the fee is going to be higher than you want to pay. Wait a minute, what do you mean . Dont get upset. Well, why are you boosting your prices on me . Because i dont like killing women, and then for doing the job on two people that means a knife, no noise. Altogether, for old times sake, ill let you have both of them dead for a real bargain. Bargain . 20,000. Now i have another reason for hoping that cutter doesnt have bad news for me. Lets hope. You know where to reach me, king. Yes. So long. Mr. Koster . Yes . I did what you told me. What took you so long . Shes been home since noon. Mr. Koster, your wifes girlfriends husband all right, lets have it straight. Well he isnt dead, and your wife didnt go to cleveland. Details. Well they arent pleasant details, mr. Koster. What happened, lets have it well she met the same man in a bar on carroll street. I sat in a booth behind them. May i read what they said to each other . I pride myself on total recall. What i am about to read you is their exact conversation. All right, spill it your wife where will we go . The man anywhere so long as you are with me, princess. Your wife i love the word princess, the way you say it. The man but you are a princess in the fellow, why is he talking that way . Well hes uh, that kind of a man uh, poetic. Poetic . Go on. Your wife moved closer to him and now the man says shelley expressed my feeling better than i can ever hope to whos this shelley character . Well hes a famous english poet. Hes been dead a hundred years. Oh, well, lucky for him. Go on. So the man quoted to your wife the fountains mingle with the rivers, the rivers mingle with the oceans all right, thats enough of that stuff, now get on with it. Well then the man says am i princess . And your wife says lets not start that again, darling. She called him darling . The man im only human, ive a natural curiosity. You walk into my arms out of the blue like some goddess from a greek myth. Is this fellow a greek . Uh no. Hes just being poetical again. Shall i go on . The man why cant i ever know who you are. Your wife if i told you my name youd know who i was because my fathers name was a junk peddler. Well your, uh, wife was lying. I think that she meant you because uh, well you are famous. Well im old enough to be her father, is that it . Go on, say it your wife now stop asking questions and take me somewhere where we can be alone. All right. Whats his name . Well he rented a car under the name of kenneth jones, obviously a phony. In my experience, id say that hes a teacher of English Literature at the State College or Something Like that. But dont worry, ill get his name thxt ill take care of the, the professor myself. Heres your fee. Theres a 50 tip, now drop the case. I dont understand. I said drop the case well, arent you satisfied with my work . Yes, you did fine. I just dont need you anymore, thats let me talk to harry silver. Harry . King. Yeah, ill pay that 20,000. Oh hello mr. Silver. Yes, in. I ordered this last week, to surprise my wife. Huh, birds are stupid. Yes. Well, i got the report. Whats the story . Guilty. Tough, looks like youre stuck with these birds. Work . Tonight. Where will i find them . I have one of my boys tailing them right now. [phone rings] wait a minute. Yes . Here . Wait downstairs for him. Yes. That was my boy now. Seems my wifes paying me a little visit. I better go. No, sit down. I want you to meet her so that you know you have the right woman. Was wrong. I was wrong to trust that louis, darling, i oh, baldy didnt tell me you were busy, im sorry. Thats all right, come in, honey. I want you to meet an old friend of mine, harry silver. Harry, my wife. How do you do mr. Silver . Im very glad to meet you. Louis, what beautiful birds. You like them . Oh, theyre lovely. I love birds. What are you doing with them . I got them for baldys kid. Well ill wait outside. No mr. Silver, please stay. Ill only be a minute. Darling, i was feeling a little blue so i thought i might buy myself something nice. Something extra special. Like what . Promise not to scold me . Buy what . You know that little red sports car, the one we saw . I remember. Well i know its awfully expensive but its too expensive. Buying a new hat. Im sorry. Thats all right. Just dont buy it. I got you a new car only a few months ago. Sure. Hes really the most generous husband in the world. Youre right. It was just an idea. Goodbye honey. Bye. Goodbye mr. Silver. Oh, goodbye. No wonder youre crazy about her, shes beautiful. The world. Harry . Yeah . I cant let you kill her. Youve gotten chicken. Im crazy about her. Cant blame ya. I couldnt live without her, dont care if i change my mind, do you . Nope. Id hate to take something as warm as that and turn her into something cold and dead. Shes all i have. What about the guy . Let him have it. Where will i find him . Ill know by tonight, ill call you. Okay. Harry . Yeah . That brings it down to 10,000 . Yeah, 10,000. Weo king. This is louis koster, whos this . Look, that red sports car in the window, i want it. Well, how much if i pay cash . Thats all right. Send the papers over to my office and drive the car to my home. Yes. Good. But i came back to say that ive changed my mind. About what . Im not gonna do it. What do you mean . Im not gonna kill that guy. Why not . Im just not in the mood to kill myself. Not in the mood what are you talking about . Its like the way you see a woman and the way i see one. Appreciate the wonders of a woman. The way shes put together, the way she can love and hate. You think that you can own a woman with money. Well its not enough. You just never learned the secrets of a woman in love. She walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies. [laughs] so you like poetry too, huh . [laughs] the only two things that a man should die for or live for are a poem or a woman like marion. Like marion . He shouldnt have told me that you left everything to marion. Because instead of just 20,000, i am going to marry a rich widow who loves me. Dont try to reach baldy. Hes outside listen harry once, centuries ago there was a french hoodlum called fran . Ois villon. He was just like me, a no good crook and a killer. But whenever he was in love, hed turn into a poet. He wrote some great things. Just listen to this, king. When death, that cheater of cheats, comes grows near, where are the snows of yesteryear . Do you like that, king . Yeah. Good. Now i think ill kill you. Next reel, harry did as he threatened, and marion lived happily ever after. She had a rich, full life. It was too bad harry didnt share it with her. You see, you cant spend money in the gas chamber. After all, murder will out, crime does not pay, virtue is rewarded, and he who laughs last is the sponsor. And now before i return, if you listen closely, youll hear ours chuckling in the wings. That was the concluding number on tonights program. I hope you will find time to join us again next week when we shall relate another saga of suspense and or mystery. Good night. Hitchcock oh good evening friends, romans and countrymen. Ive just unearthed some items which may be of vast archaeological importance. Two fig leaves, and a half eaten apple. Tonights play is not have a scene in a garden. It is called the rose garden, and is concerned with two elderly sisters in a magnolia scented house in louisiana. It begins in a moment just now please watch this short trailer you say you come all the way from new york to see miss julia on business . You sure you aint got her mixed up . You didnt come to see miss cordelia . No, whos miss cordelia . Shes miss julias sister. Why she even tells miss julia what to eat for breakfast. Thats why i was kind of surprised that miss julia got well ms. Julia has written a book which my firm is going to publish. As far as i know, it has nothing to do with miss cordelia. Well i declare, a book huh . Miss julia never had a chance to say nothin. I guess she just had to write it down. How soon you reckon i can get ahold of a copy. Sure will sell out fast in this town. Oh, we hope to bring it out in the spring. Its so good, we will probably rush it through. Really good, huh . Well ill be. So there are two miss pickerings hum . Noss for 30 years. Then one day about two years ago, Gordon Welles just walked out and left her. Never even took his toothbrush. I guess he couldnt stand it no longer. He only stayed as long as he did on account of miss julia, i shouldnt wonder. Now, how was that . Well he was her beau to start with. Then miss cordelia took him away from her. Ha, ill bet theres plenty of times that guy wished he stuck with his first choice. Well, thats interesting. It could be the house in the book. The perfect setting. You know i aint surprised that miss julias wrote a book. I always thought she had plenty of wheels. She just aint got what it takes to stand up to mi two bits. Anywhere in town for two bits. Well, only a quarter . Yeah. I think ill move down here. There you are thanks. Well thank you. Oh good afternoon, id like to see miss good afternoon. Your mr. Vinton from new york. How do you do miss pickering, its awfully good of you to have this is miss welles, mr. Thank you barney, that was very helpful but we wont keep you any longer. Judson can carry mr. Vintons bag in. Miss pickering is my sister. Im mrs. Welles. Oh i beg your pardon. Me to stay here but wouldnt you find it more convenient if i went to a hotel . No indeed, we wouldnt think of not having our guests in our home. Besides, that hotel is a disgrace. Why, if they had a fire the only escape would be to come out of the window on a knotted rope. Whereas if they were a fire here, there wouldnt even be a rope. How do you do mr. Vinton . How do you do miss pickering . Very kind of you to come. Im afraid youll have to take potluck mr. Vinton. If id known sooner that you were coming, or even that my sister had written a book well i, i was afraid my sister wouldnt approve mr. Vinton. Her i was writing it. Well i dont think its very dignified, julia, for a woman of your background to write one of those sensational mystery stories. Come mr. Vinton, ill show you to your room. Julia, tell maisie she can serve dinner in an hour. And tell her to stop with its carved lions heads. Why, i believe this is the room that the room was old. It had been there before they were born and it housed their travesty of a marriage for 30 years. The old Massive Furniture with its carved lions heads stood as if defying anyone to move it. The fireplace with its white marble facing, black inside with the soot of years, and on the mantle, a porcelain dairy maid had stood since her grandmothers day together with two brass cherubs which had held candles to light her to bed. In a fury, charles turned away. Amelia snatched the heavy brass brought it down upon his head. Amelia cordelia. I hope you like our louisiana coffee mr. Vinton. Oh im sure i shall. So you havent read your sisters manuscript, mrs. Welles . I have not. As i told you, i wasnt even informed that she was writing it. But you, you dont like this sort of story sister. I dont consider it literature if thats what you mean. And you must have wasted a great deal of time writing it. But im going to be paid for my time. Do you take cream and sugar mr. Vinton . Ill have mine black thank you. Shall i make a great deal of money mr. Vinton . Oh i dont know. I think this books going to sell very well. Oh certainly we shant hesitate to advance you 1000. Of course, youll probably make pleasant. Thank heaven dear mama will never know where it came from. Perhaps she will sister. Maybe mamas watching over us in everything we do. What an interesting house. You have so many beautiful things. Those old pistols, why theyre, theyre works of art. Yes, they belonged to my grandfather. He was forced to use the pistols several times to defend the pickering name. Really . Im, im enchanted to find myself right in the settingyo ever happened to me before. In the setting . Why yes, this house and all the things in it. Why you, you even put me in the murder room mrs. Welles, and ill bet theres a, a stone bench in the garden by the rose bed. What . Yes, i recognized it at once. You know, authors should always have their murders committed in old houses. The shadows of the past surge forward to lend a doomful atmosphere to the matter in hand. Murder most foul. Its most impressive. Thought these things were done by mail. Well i was coming south anyway, and id read enough of the book to know we wanted to publish it. As a matter of fact, i finished it on the plane to new orleans. Oh, then you have the manuscript with you. Oh im sure he didnt bother to bring it sister. If he finished it on the plane, it seems likely he still has it with him julia. Perhaps i might glance through it when ever you find it convenient to get it out. But you dont like this kind of writing sister, you said so. What beautiful roses. Are you interested in gardening mrs. Welles club. My roses always take first prize. How very gratifying. You must feel rewarded for all your work. Yes. Youve aroused my curiosity mr. Vinton. I think i would like to read julias book. Oh, by all means. But the only copy we have just now is the handwritten original im afraid, and well probably be working on that most of tomorrow. Miss pickering, may i suggest the first thing you buy with the advance on your book is a typewriter, and spare your [chuckles] no, of course, id be delighted to send you a copy as soon as sylvia, charles urged, all we have to do is to go away. She doesnt love me, you know that. Shell be furious but we wont be here to see it. You can stay with my aunt therese in new orleans until i get a divorce. Ill meet you there tonight. It was very late when sylvia, almost in a state of shock from anxiety and disappointment stole furtively into the house. She crept up the stairs and into her room without encountering amelia. Where was charles . Why hadnt he met her in new orleans . Much later that night sylvia found herself at the window, halfasleep, pushing it open. The room was hot and stuffy and she leaned out to breathe in the cool night air; and there below her in the garden by the stone bench was [humming and singing] ah, there you are. Why i thought your sister was the well sister enjoys the garden but sisters too busy to work in it. Oh, well i hope they give you credit when the blue ribbons are handed out. Oh, i dont care about that sort of thing. Oh, did you want to go in and work on the manuscript . Well, if its all right with you, we will work out here. Well as you say. Miss pickering, have you thought about what your sisters reaction would be to this book, and possibly local reaction . Yes i have. Do you think i ought to withdraw it, not publish it at all . Mr. Vinton, maybe youre right. To publish it, or i should never have made a special trip here if we werent. Oh. Of course, it wouldnt be fair to withdraw it now after youve been to all that trouble. Its only just that mr. Vinton, to be honest, i never in the world thought anyone would publish it. It was quite a shock. Yes but surely, i mean, you must have thought about what the situation would be if it were accepted . No i when i actually mailed it, id done all i could. It wasnt up to me anymore, it was out of my hands. Miss pickering, i, i dont quite understand what you mean. Well i dont know what there is to understand. I dont know what youre talking about mr. Vinton. I thought you wanted to talk about alterations in the manuscript. Yes i do, forgive me. I, i do want to revise a few pages with you if i may. Aw, you forgive me mr. Vinton, im afraid im a little nervous this morning. But, what are now the night sylvia came back from new orleans, when charles failed to meet her there, a little later on use say she found herself at the window. Now what she actually awake or what . Well that was it. She was never conscious of waking, she might have been walking in her sleep. She just found herself there looking out. And there below was a deep trench which had been dug for compost for sweet peas. She saw amelia struggling with some burden in the wheelbarrow, which trench. But she couldnt tell what it was. Well she couldnt be sure. She, well, then, then she fainted you know. Yes. And as amelia sank down upon the bench, that would be this one wouldnt it . Well it would be one like it. Umm. Suddenly sylvias head dawn. The trench below was no longer there. Rosebushes had been planted in the newly filled in bed. Or was it newly filled in . And why roses . Could it be so the bed eouldnt be dug up again next year . But amelia mr. Vinton yeah . What, well what was it you wanted to ask me . Oh well, well about this really. After seeing amelia dump what looked like a body into the trench, and when charles never isnt sylvia sure it was he . Well she couldnt be positive. Might still be a dream. Well everything was so queer. And then, next day, amelia said that the rosebushes had been there all the time, planted the day that sylvia went to new orleans. Yes i know but in her own mind, in her heart, wasnt sylvia sure . Yes, i suppose she was. Then why doesnt she go to the police . Was it just the prospect of the disgrace, the shame, and notoriety . Well partly, i suppose. Mostly because she was a coward. You mean, shes afraid of amelia . Well not physically perhaps. Although it could come to that. Shes afraid of her sisters disdain. Her contempt. Well i, i tried to make it clear. Mr. Vinton, if youve never been really afraid of another person, you cant understand this. Sylvia cannot take this step. She cannot stand up and say i accuse. Shes gotta go on day after day pretending that shell do it tomorrow knowing that she never will. I see. And yet as a reader, i cant help feeling her sisters power over her exists only in excuse me please, i, i have to see about lunch. Well, there you are mr. Vinton. Its all signed. You have an option on my next three books but i fear i shall never write them. Well lets not be too sure ms. Julia, one never knows. Get your hat julia, well be late for choir practice. Well sister, i just thought i would go for once. Its mr. Nothing these last few weeks. Rev. Samuels is counting on you. Im sure mr. Vinton doesnt consider himself more important than god. Ha, no, not at all. Get your hat julia, and not that silly thing you bought for easter. I must thank you mrs. Welles for a very pleasant visit. I hope you two ladies will visit new york sometime and let me be the host. Thank you, i doubt that we ever shall. No member of our family has been north for 100 believe. Will you be gone long . Oh not long. We should be gone a good 2 1 2 hours. Put your gloves on julia. Well i, im sorry mr. Vinton. I just hope you wont be too bored. Oh ill find plenty to do. Well mr. Vinton. Oh mrs. Welles. I, i, i, i, i, i was just um yes . I must apologize. You see, in fact i, i um um husbands body, is that right . Yes, im, im afraid i was. Perhaps youd like to dig a little deeper. Uh, uh, no thank you. Mr. Vinton, perhaps its just as well youve done this. I left choir practice early so i could talk to you in private, and since julias book has driven you to this extreme, you must see that its quite out of the question ever to publish it. Huh, it convinced me, and i feel sure your sister believes every word of it. Very probably she does. My sister is a neurotic and disappointed woman with a vivid imagination, and she deeply wishes it were true. Why should she wish a thing like that . Why so that i might appear as the villain, of course, instead of my husband. I wasnt the only one he deserted you know. Julia thought she was going away with him but he left her too, and shes never been able to accept that. So, she wrote her own i see mrs. Welles. Well i, i feel like a fool. I, i can only apologize. And as to ms. Julias book, well if she wants to withdraw it you may leave that to me. Julia will do as i say. Well im sorry to change my mind again mr. Vinton but im afraid cordelias right. So, if youre willing to release me you shamefully i know. Its quite all right miss julia. Please dont give it another thought. Well i, i think ill get along now. Theres, theres a late train i believe. I dont wish to appear inhospitable mr. Vinton but perhaps it would be best. Yes. Well ill, ill walk to the station. Ive got plenty of time. Goodbye. Goodbye mr. Vinton. Well im glad youve finally come to your senses. Yes i have. Tomorrow no, in the morning, in the morning im going to sheriff teble, and im going to tell him everything. And hes going to come here, and hes going to dig in the right rose bed, where the bench used to be. Julia only i wanted to spare us the humiliation in mr. Vintons presence. Are you out of your mind . You certainly are not going to the sheriff with any such insane accusation. You know perfectly well i wont allow it. Nothing you can do to stop me, im not afraid of you anymore. I guess maybe now im more afraid of going on being a coward, lying to myself, and to everyone else. I most certainly can stop you, and i will if you make it necessary. I killed gordon to save us from the scandal of running away with you, and i wont hesitate now. Ridiculous sister, why, why you cant kill me and not be found out. Ill simply say i was cleaning the pistol and it discharged by accident. Nobody will suspect me now any more than they did with gordon. Very well then, i guess you gotta kill me because you welles, or that, you can hardly explain my body too. What are you doing here, spying on us . Yes as a matter of fact, you see i noticed this pistol was missing. Sneaking back here, prying into our personal affairs. Of all the disgraceful, outrageous performances sister, sister dont you call me sister. Are you all right miss julia . Yes i guess so. You were grand. You know i really believe youd have let her shoot you. For once. Mr. Vinton, you do understand about the book dont ya . I, i just couldnt bear to have anybody read it now. Of course. Please dont worry about it. Besides, youll write me another one im sure. Well perhaps i will. You know, ive known about all this for two years. Theyll probably send me to prison too. Maybe i could write it there. Im sure they wont but if they do, i shall insist they dont give you time off for hitchcock so much for the literary set. Our next item before i return is an answer for those people who keep insisting that all this country needs is a good oneminute and now we must interrupt our program for a week while we prepare the next play for production. I shall see you then. Good night. Good evening, friends. Would you all please examine the tops of your Television Sets and see if one of you doesnt find a Goldfish Bowl with a crack in it. Thank you. By the way, ive been asked to announce that some of you are missing this program unecessarilly