I suppose most of em aspire for thethe top job. Sure. And the top job, as a politician, is the president of the united states. And, if you think about what we do to them, most of the time you wonder why anybody wants it. Yeah, its gotta be a horrendous job, cause, no matter what you do, hhalf the people are not gonna like it. N exa look at the what happens to the polls. Its li uh, aaaa ski jump. Yeah. Up and down over the hill. I hear somebody told me you took up scuba diving, lately. Have you never done that before . No i would re well, you know you know, re had the chance. In a Beverly Hills swimming pool, you just dont go scuba diving. And ive never been to the caribbean. Ive always m uh, thats where i learned, though oh, thatsthats lovely. To scuba dive in my pool. So, i b i went scuba diving you took the official lessons and got certified, and all that . Got certified. Should do that. And went into a big tank, and in san diego, uh, with a whole bunch of big fish. Really nice. I loved that. Now, whaddya gonna do if you go down to the bahamas, or something, and youre down there, and a barracuda comes up . Whatwhat would you do . What would i do . Mmmhmm. Uh i i sorry [ laughter ] why, i certainly would thatthats one of first things, screaming. Thats right. Id just scream, and id say i mean, will you do a mugger . No, no, no, no, no. [ mock screaming ] no, no, no. That gets them exci whaddya do . You just be very quiet. Yeah, and promise not to bleed, so hell p no, its a sharks that are gonna follow you isnt that it . Oh, i dont know. I always liked the books. The books are so wonderful. They say, sharks generally do not attack. They are just curious. [ chuckling ] and you always wonder if the shark has read that same book. [ laughter ] well but sharks will not only if youre bleeding will they attack. Id like to know if a shark is intellectual andand, you know they dont have too much of a brain. No. They are pretty much automatons. No, i think my ive seen sharks, scuba diving, and most of em dont really do [ laughter ] what . Youve seen sharks . Scuba diving. Well, no. I was scuba diving, and then [ laughter ] you were scuba diving. See, thats a basic, freshman english test. What is wrong with this sentence . i saw sharks scuba diving. [ laughter ] i was scuba diving, and i saw sharks. Thats right. Or i saw sharks, th no. Iii would absolutely panic. I know no, theyre curious. They unless theyre hungry. Yeah. Who knows . I want i want what . Who knows . Yeah. Thats the whole thing. That how do you know when theyre hungry . They dont come theres not a bell says lunch [ laughter ] i mean they eat, when they get hungry. Gotta be a certain expression on their face you have to look out for. I just [ chuckling ] personally dont have any desire to look out for it. So, youre gonna limit it just to the tank, uh thats right. Ii went down, iinto this tank. We did all kinds of crazy things, on in this cali i scrimmaged with the Oakland Raiders. Oh, come on, now. I did. Whaddya mean, you scrimmaged with the Oakland Raiders . Oh, you know girltype scrimmaging. [ some laughter ] with Otis Sistrunk . People like that . Oh, no. Actually, no. It was kenny stabler. Hehe, uh yeah. He well, that makes sense. He yeah. He threw m uh, threw a pass. Thats what i hear. Yeah. [ laughter ] according to people magazine, this week, he does that pretty well. Yeah. Well, ii volunteered to, uh, accept it uh, catch it. What is it . Ddid you . Yes, i did. Busy, bus his schedule and my you know. That sort of thing. Hey, look, i know you cant stay, tonight. And you got other things to do. And i thank you, for comin. Well be right back. Stay with us. [ music ] [ laughter ] my next guest [ applause ] hes one of our, uh hes one of our favorite people. He is on the show frequently. A most talented man. Is an actor, a director, a raconteur. Would you welcome Charles Nelson reilly . [ applause ] [ music ] how are you . Im f all right. Good. Im thinking of you. Thank you. [ laughter ] see seem to be in some, uh snit . Sort of a snit. I was gonna yes. [ chuckling ] does it show . Well, yes, im a little upset. What, uh well, i didnt do anything wrong, or anything. I mean, i didnt its just that im in the middle years, now or a little past it like the twilight zone. Oh. Well, its true i face it. And i have to how are you . Im fine. Good. [ somegh the fact that im arent you gonna ask me how i am . Well, youre always fine. Thats what im getting to. Oh, im sorry. You see what i mean . Superstars are fine, always. Thats my whole, uh, uh, beginning. I see. I know you have [ applause ] few things, now and then. Youre still entertainer of the year. Yeah. I was the first to congratulate the year is 12 months. Im not forgetting the rain. Ii know that. See, many people do. Right. [ some laughter ] but i just wanna say that i have been on this show, for 16 years, and ive never left early. Oh, you mean every week, here. I see. And i think something i, uh, just well discuss it, cause i think its probably psychosomatic. Right. Ill tell ya why, in a minute. cause im getting to it. Its all built up, carefully. [ some laughter ] but the thing is, ya see, i have been on this show, for 16 years. Yeah. Ive never left early. Well, thats true. Thats true. And people come, all the time, like l i last time i was on, annmargret left early. Yes. And now, tonight, dinahs a lovely girl. Shell what notice something else. They never tell ya where theyre going. [ some laughter ] no. No. You know why cause theyre not really going anywhere. [ laughter ] but you always [ applause ] they never say. But youre condescending. You see, youyou get so in awe like, in awe. Dont be in awe of me. Im a simple, humble person. Yes. [ chuckling ] but the thing is [ laughter ] the thing is. They never say where theyre going. Now, i was i asked the producer the staff called me, you know. Theyre lovely. Yes. Discuss that, later. They said i could say this from 5 30 can say whate to 7. Certainly. Now, will you tell me where the hell everyone goes, at 5 45 . [ chuckling ] theres no place to go you go, at 8 30, at 10 00, 11. Right. You go to the dentist, at 9, the doctor, at 10. Nothin goes on, at 5 45 [ chuckling ] but theyre all what you say. Sorry you have to rush away. Where the hell are they going . [ laughter ] thats all i ask. [ applause ] she has to leave, you know. Ill stay i have to catch a [ chuckling ] wherewhere are you no, you gotta say where youre going i know where youre going youre going home, to par boiled vegetables. [ laughter ] no, no no . Im going to catch a plane, so i can plug my shows in vegas. Dont you know where you see . Okay. Thats now well, i just wanna say one thing. Now id like to that all the stars are not exactly like dinah shore, you know. No. I mean, there are different stars. They all leave at 6 45. But i just thought you oughta have those. Isnt that sweet . Ill call you, later. I love it. [ laughter ] in florida we have a date, in florida. No, i wanna discuss it, fully. Do i just talk into the flowers, now, or what . No, its okay, fine. Now, you see, that was cla style. That was nice. That was style. Well, you see, there are a few. A few. [ some laughter ] like, i understand Joe Namath Joe namath left early. Joe namath left im wearing a joe namath tuxedo shirt. Oh, really . Hes not here to see it [ chuckling ] he gotta get at least 85 to 93 cents [ laughter ] so, you see, he misses it. Then, the other thing that bothers me 16 years. Mmm. Lola falana, charo, and i and ed we stay. Were always here. Right. Yes, thats right. And wwe just deserve were the oppressed guests. You know what im saying . We never go anywhere. Ive no place to go. This comes off, at 7 01. Why did you [ laughter ] well, i wore it, cause ive no other place to go its just this is it, for me oh, youre not going anyplace, later . Im not pitching anything. What am i gonna plug . Do i plug a record . Am i holding a record up . You see a record . You see a book . You see a pilot film . [ laughter ] do you see a tv series . [ laughter ] theres nothing but i come anyway. Lemmelemme ask you something. All right. [ laughter ] well, theres no other place to go [ laughter ] [ applause ] you know what i mean . I was in a play, once. I was in a play, once. I was in a play yeah. Uh, rosalinda. A musical. And i played prince orlofsky. Prince orlofsky. Which, usually, if its done as the opera, a woman plays. Ah. But, for some strange reason, i was playing it. [ laughter ] in rosalinda, i played prince orlofsky. And the second act is a jail. Is a jail scene. And they said, prince its 4 am in the morning, and i me [ humming ] it wasnt a big orchestra. It was two trumpets. Right. A theater in the round a dinner theater. Well, it sounds impressive. Maybe it was just the tada. You know . So, i came in, and they said, prince, what are you doing . In a jail . I said, only place still open. And thats how its the only place open. Its the only thing open, this time o day. The other thing that bothers me is, 16 years mmmhmm . And the thing is i see, on the screen, our guests are taken by morgan limousine. [ applause ] ive never seen i dunno what are you talkin about . So, i figured i figured, for 16 years, i should ride around in a thing, from anywhere to four to six weeks right. Carte blanche. Youve never been with a morgan limousine. I never saw the guy well then, the other thing im gonna get it all out obviously because its the menopause of my life. Obviously this its ugly [ laughter ] shes on the plane, already [ laughter ] obvi all right, so the other thing is the hotel. You dont even know. It says ill quote okay. cause i watch the show. I know you do. Youve gotta know. I am faithful. Thank you. My career is over, but im here. [ laughter ] and the thing is thats why you its psychosomatic. Its couchitis. You see, if we had places to go, except this couch, we would be all right [ chuckling ] we would move better. Lola falana and i well stay. Well s all right. So, the other thing is ill get to the point. Ill get to the guest of the tonight show yes. Stay at the sheridan [ laughter ] sixteen years. Now, i just want gimme a slip. Gimme a slip for a free breakfast. Thats all. [ laughter ] ill go in just somethin that i feel like i belong now, lemme explain something. You understand what i mean . I cant plug anything. Its over you see i know this. Im face im grateful. Those are guests who come from out of town, who have to stay overnight. Yes, but i drive over the hill. You just wanna stay [ laughter ] which is you wanna stay in the valley, overnight . And the other thing is parking. Can we discuss parking . If you would like. Sure. All right. Now, im a star. [ some laughter ] all right yes. All right. Then, the other thing is to get here, to get dressed up. I dont like to get that dressed up. Then, uh [ chuckling ] i love you. Then, the thing is [ some laughter ] i put on my hair. You understand . Yes. This is not my own hair. I know that. Beca i know that. Because i say that, and im tryna give it likelike o you try to give faith and courage to people, through your handicap. [ laughter ] just dont open a window. So, this is no, just dont open a window. Okay. I mean, if you go dancing, and youre under a ventilator, its over. Guys are swimming, and they come out, and it they say, you can swim, in this. Can you swim in it . Have you seen the head underwater . Or, like, you can swim, in it, and the waters somewhere here. Ah. [ laughter ] you know what i mean . Oh, not under. Oh, no. Not in this ocean, anyway. Maybe in florida, on a warm day. [ chuckling ] but, anyway, you come to park, and theres no place to park. Ah well, you know why . Dont we have this cause you dont know the have you seen the dressing rooms, downstairs . Yes, they are rather shabby. What a like. I mean, theyre not well, i mean, you should bke this is your universe. Its brilliant, what youve done for american entertainment. But, like the mayor, visit the slums. Look and see what the other people have. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i just wanna i wanted ta i wanted ta say somethin about the hair, cause it is funny. All right. I ddont its a funny thing. cause my reruns areare im bald, so, i mean, what couldve happened . Last night, you were wonderfully funny. I laughed, i screamed. Thank you. Youre wonderfully funny man, and s wonderful. But, anyway, seriously you know, the two of you. But, anyway, uh, i got it on tape, now. Its on tape. Uhhuh. Well, some if you can just you have your own clothesline, youve got a big dressing room, upstairs. You know what i mean . The valet says, well, you wore the blue, tuesday. Try the red, tonight. I mean, theres nothing i mean you know. When did you go to the cleaners, last . [ laughter ] but, anyway uh, see, i forget since the war, i forget what you have, uh uh oh, the tape the tape. [ chuckling ] its the old injury coming back. Right. All right. So, a friend of mine says, why dont you use the new invisible tape . I thought, oh. Ill get the invisible tape. So, i go to a Beauty Supply shop. Now, when youre 46, shop for the first time, that tells ya youre in trouble. [ chuckling ] you shoulda gone, at 21, and get the ball rolling. You know what i mean . [ some laughter ] so, i go in [ chuckling ] theyre human. Theyre lovely. Of course they are. Then, you go in [ chuckling ] i love that. So, you go in, and you buy this Little Package of invisible tape. Right. Now, this and you do you dont wanna say its for you. cause, you know, theres nothing fake, here. So, you go, and you say, mymy sister uh, do y she wanted the invisible tape. Because she had a sickness, and the hair all fell. [ laughter ] so, you get the box of invisible tapes, you take your ii have to take my glasses off, to do anything. You know right. Invisible tape so, you read the directions, and it says cutely little cute, little, red box. It says that, when you take the second white tape off, youre left with your invisible tape. [ chuckling ] and it says, laughterly [ chuckling ] be careful, because, you know, it is in invisible. [ laughter ] so, i go like this, and then, suddenly, i dont know where the tape is. [ laughter ]an and i start to look for the invisible tape that anything that sticks. Then, you go, that must be it. And it goes all in fine. But, i mean, im goin back to the white tape. Ah, yes. You know, the a double adhesive. Right. You know, the bathroom looks like its a red cross station in iwo jima. [ laughter ] but its it gives ya a feeling of hope. Now, would you like another introduction, or yeah, now, what would you introduce me make believe im a guest that has to leave early. Now, think of it, a minute. In awe youre in awe. A superstar who has to go early. All right. Just go back. Now, another thing note for the orches see how they are . Theyre all ready to go. I want the top10 introduction. You know what i mean . Governor brown, s whatever. You know what i mean . Not the usual. Something, you know you bet. That im identified with. Okay. All right. Well, theyll be looking, all night. [ laughter ] what im saying just to go on go on off. Now, notice, you dont come out, right away. Ill introduce a guest thats never even been on the show, its so big. Making his first appearance, and a thrill, for all of us right. N an in within 16 years, slower yes. [ laughter ] [ applause ] one of the probably five or six Top Box Office draws, around the world two to three, in the last poll. [ laughter ] probably has moved up to two or three, just this evening. Uh, a sex symbol. Would you welcome Robert Redford . [ applause ] [ laughter ] you have to leave . Robert has to leave early. Thank you, bob. Bobs on a very tight schedule. Bod he has many other things to do. But well be back, in just a moment. Stay with us. [ applause ] [ laughter ] [ music ] [ applause ] whoopee. Okay. Can you stay . Can you stay . Do you have what is it, today . Im sorry. Really stay. You can really stay. Its thursday. Yeah. I can stay. Okay, good. cause [ applause ] ive not met this young lady. Oh. You have met her, backstage. Shes a lovely girl. And very talented. Her name is, uh charming young actress. Uh, she is costarring in a new movie called Close Encounters of the third kind. Would you welcome [ applause ] teri garr . Teri . [ music ] where were you headed . Were you goin over to the band . Ii guess so. Im not sure. How are ya . Im okay. Welcome to the show. Thank you. You never been with us before, have you . Well, yes, i was. I was, once, with, um you werent on, with me. No. John denver. Ah. I didnt think you were on, with me. Hi. Hi, charles. Hi, ed. Im good. How are you . I know ed, from before. [ chuckling ] yeah. [ laughter ] on the show. [ chuckling ] you mean from the show, or n uh, i think i worked with him, on, uh, sonny and cher. Several times. Mmmhmm. I see. With Howard Cosell. Yeah. Have you done a lot of, uh you like Howard Cosell . Well, be honest. You can be perfectly honest, in a show like this, you see. Ah. [ chuckling ] yes, i like Howard Cosell. Hes okay. [ some laughter ] now, youre saying that with reservation. I dont wanna make ya Say Something you dont wanna say, but yeah. [ chuckling ] i dont know. But you havent done a lotta these shows, have you . No. Yeah. Are you are you comfortable, all right . I mean yes, im real comfortable. [ laughter ] my hands are stuck in this chair you look like youre mak you look like youre making your first flight, on, uh [ chuckling ] i know. Transdebris airlines, or something. Why dont you [ laughter ] just relax, and okay. Pretend youre sitting in my livin groom, at home. Yeah. Sure, okay. And the wife is outta town. No, i [ laughter ] you know that. [ laughter ] do i seem real nervous, to you . No. Are you . Why . No, im not real nervous. I just wanna know if i seemed like it. Im not nervous. [ chuckling ] [ laughter ] well, you the chair is really not very comfortable, is it . I mean no. To be perfectly honest with you. Its not like is your livin groom like this . [ some laughter ] no, not no, not really. Uh, see, the chair yya cant move, in the chair. Youre kinda youre kinda sit there, and you cant really move the chair. Something like that. Hmm. You know . Okay. Relax, and just pretend we were out somewhere, sitting and just talking. Okay. Okay. Wherere you from . Huh . Oh. [ laughter ] wheres home, originally . Uh, here. The valley. Right in the v right here in the valley. Mmmhmm. What part of encino . Northridge . Uh north hollywood. North hollywood. Mmmhmm. [ applause ] dyou, uh well, see . Mmmhmm. Went to school there . Mmmhmm. [ laughter ] and, after you left north hollywood, you went clear over to hollywood, huh . Yes. Yes, i did, and t i see, sometimes, i watch the show, and i see people like me on it, just going, uhhuh. Mmmmmm. Uhhuh. And i go, boy, ill never do that. And her i am doin it yeah. [ laughter ] interesting. Do you do you watch our show, frequently . Yes, i do. I like your show. Good thank you. But thats the problem with doing it, because i think im watching it. Mmmhmm. And then. [ laughter ] i find out that im here listening. Thats interesting. And i have to answer the questions. Its not yes. In other words, its like youre watching the show now, and you dont feel like aaa participant, in it . Thats interesting. Well, you are here. Well i am . Yeah. Sure. You were good, charles. I was all right. But it how many years was i nervous . [ some laughter ] remember how nervous i used to be . He was now, really. This is true. For many years. Isnt it true . Because abs i love you. Im in awe of you. Absolutely. And ii was a mess. He would come on its true. Wasnt i . Yes. And absolutely be a basket case. And it takes a long time. And youre wonderful. Okay. You know what im saying . I wanna take my hair down. Okay. Okay, fine. Be comfortable. So now. Did a l did a light just go out . Oh, yeah. Lights cha its a big show, baby. They do aa light change. I see. [ laughter ] [ applause ] what happened to this humble, little, scared man, all of a sudden . Well i mean, its i found someone or something. I dunno. Okay, here we are. Youre not youre not in awe of me, at all. I mean hmm. Oh, come on. Oh, yes im a fan of yours. Well, thats doesnt mean anything. I mean, its nice. Im not im glad you are. Its i mean, im really here, talking to you, huh . Okay. Yeah. Anything, particularly, youd like to talk about . Did anybody give you give you any advice . [ chuckling ] people have been on the show, before. Yes, but i dont think it was good advice. Oh, my friend buck henry, who was, uh hes a friend oh, there ya are. If hes watching, hell probably kill me. But he said just to say yes and no and i dont know. [ laughter ] yeah. That would help, yeah. No. You were a dancer, i understand, originally. Mmmhmm. Wherewhere did you, uh [ chuckling ] see, im doing it thats all right. Yes, i was. Thats only i only asked, for yes or no. Mmmhmm. You know, what, uh whats one supposed to say, when i say, you were a dancer . That doesnt leave you, you know if i said, how did you become a dancer . You cant very well say yes or no. Right . How did you become a dancer . [ some laughter ] yes. [ laughter ] well, i went to dancing school. Thats a good way to do it. [ laughter ] good way. [ laughter ] see, if you go to scuba diving school, you d not likely to become a dancer. No. You have to go to the school that teaches you what you wanna become. Oh, i went to da Ballet School and was very obsessed with it and got into Ballet Companies andand then, uh, danced in swan lake, and all those things. Did you really . Professionally . Yeah. I was always in the quarter ballet. And i didnt think i was ever gonna get very far with it, because of, uh i always laughed, sort of. When you were doing the you mean the ballet . Yeah. I mean, cause all the ballets are supposed to come out and act out the stories. And they always act it so funny that i would laugh. It wasnt good for it. Yeah, youre not supposed to laugh, during the ballet. No. If somebodys splaying a swan, and youre laughter, thats considered not, uh when they die. Not good show business. Thats right. cause the swan does die and right at the end, and its not supposed to be comical. Um. [ some laughter ] uh, some doctors say that girls should not start ballet when theyre really young, because ththeir bones arent ready to do it. It could it can, uh have you heard the have you heard anybody say that . [ laughter ] what . Look, i havent asked that question before, and i wanna get it out, before i go to the great kinescope, up in the sky. [ laughter ] uh, you know what im saying that youryour bones are not, uh [ laughter ] you mean, has theyre too, uh, supple, you know that its bad that it makes them turn out like ducks. Uh, Something Like that. [ laughter ] thats possible. Oh. Well, thats [ laughter ] i cant do this oh, yes, you can. Youre doing just wonderful. What fine aare we being canceled . [ laughter ] the hell is this . Theyre turning one light out, at a time these lights went out. Another light just went out. Realize that dinah shore is somewhere over new mexico, now . Thats right. [ laughter ] and youre still here. See, television is cruel. This is the way they can tell ya that its all over. Theythey no. Dont have the guts to come out and say it. They just keep turning out the lights. Is it because so, one night, you come on Little Candle on the desk, here, and youll be going. [ some laughter ] m no. No. Have you been in other movies, besides, uh, this one youre doing, Close Encounters of the third kind . Well, yes. I was in whatwhats wrong . Whats got a problem . Lightbulb just went on and off. Well, we dont care. What do we care . Light goes on. Dont let it bother ya. Maybe that has somethin to do with my movie. Ah, thats right. That has to do with extra terrestrial outer space outer space. And stuff. And, when the ufos come, all the lights go on and off. Its a little weird. [ chuckling ] [ audience murmuring ] no, no, no, no, no. Just a movie. Its just a movie. [ making alien sound ] you believe in ufos . Um, i dont know. I dont know. I dont think so, no. Theres nothing been proven, about them. Yeah. Lotta people, you know credible people have said theyve seen them and reported sightings. Some of them they cant explain. Which doesnt mean, of course, that theyre from another planet, either. Just cause you cant explain something. No. Thats right. Thats right. [ laughter ] or yes [ laughter ] tell about the first and second stages, and then the third stage oh, thank you. We have a light, here. In case we need it. [ some laughter ] likelike this. Good evening. [ laughter ] does our guest look nice . [ laughter ] [ applause ] thank you. Yeah. That makes me feel better. We want you to have welllit, and everything, and so its can tell a lowbudget show, when the host says [ laughter ] do you want us to do a commercial . I think so. Were gonna do a commercial. Were co well, youre doin just fine, really. Mmmhmm. You really are. Okay. Well do this. Well come right back. [ music ] [ applause ] did i mention your movie, now, Close Encounters of the third kind. Has it opened, yet . It opens, uh, the 17th yeah. Of november. And its a fantastic, beautiful movie, and everyone should see it. Ive heard real good things about it. And i hope its a big smash, for ya. I do, too. All right. You are you a gardener, at all . Do you have little plants, around your apartment, and things like that . Yes . Okay, good, because we have Thalassa Cruso with us, tonight, and she is one of this countrys foremost gardening experts. Shes a columnist for the boston sunday globe. And she also shares her plant and gardening knowledge with Television Viewers in the boston area. Would you welcome Thalassa Cruso . Its nice to see you. Oh, its nice to see you in bright lights, johnny. Yes, we were almost, uh i thought we were gonna have a blackout. How are our plants doing, back here . We have a couple are those ficus . Yeah. Those are ficus. See, i am learning. Youre doing very well. And are they do they look healthy . Uh, yes. But then, i havent got my glasses on. Yeah, well, you see, they sit, uh, with air conditioning, in here, all the time. And then, the heat comes on, and then more air conditioning. That must be very difficult. Yeah. Uh, plants dont mind cold. Theythey dont catch cold in the head, ifif you have, uh, sort of even air conditioning. Its when you put em under the air conditioning vent, really . Then, they sound like me. I mean, they look as i do. I didnt know i did not realize plants caught cold, as such. Uh, in a matter of speaking, yes. Yeah. If their roots get cold, then they shrivel and die. They cant bear it. Havent you had a begonia die on you . Got cold roots. [ laughter ] that startled you . No ive never had a begonia die on me. Uh well, dont grow begonias. Thats why. Are they very tender . I mean, do they le lotta care . Well, some do, yes. I try to learn something more, every time i try very hard to teach you. Yes, i know you do, and, uh, [ laughter ] you have to go slow, with me, because im, uh im not what is there such a thing as a green thumb . People that are more adaptable and have a natural talent, with plants . Well, there are people who learn more easily than others. Ah. [ laughter ] i think i i think i get what youre saying. [ some laughter ] but you know youve heard that phrase. Some people have a natural ability. Yeah, some people do. Some people and i think thats true. Some people are better, with plants, than others. I think they grow up, with plants. Uh, sort of not tarzan. Rig now, i put a greenhouse in, at our house. You did . My wife wanted a greenhouse. Ugh thats worse than having plan babysitters. Have you ever tried to get a greenhouse sitter . Whaddya mean . You have to when you go away. Wwell, whaddya mean . You never go away . Well, yes, frequently. Why . Then, what happens to the greenhouse . cause thats very difficult. You get you cant get no two people manage their plants the same way. I never thought of that. Now, wait, a moment. Cant we leave, and w doesnt the greenhouse stay there, and the plants just do what they do . Greenhouse probably stays there, unless your crime problem is worse than ours, but the, uh, plants will not just stay there. I never thought o that. Theyll sort of just in other words, somebody has to care for them, and water them, every day, and yes. Yes, and somebody has to open the vents unless youve got mechanical ones i dont have in which case, theyll break down, when youre away, cause thats an extension of murphys law. In gardening, absolutely everything always goes wrong, every single time. Particularly the automatic vents that open a greenhouse. Yes. specially when youre away, i suppose. Always when youre away. Is this a good ti or bad time o year, for houseplants . Especially, i suppose, in the east, where it gets co for houseplants, because, by now, except in california, the weathers such that you cant do much, outdoors. Right. And so, that youve brought your houseplants in, if you had em outside or youre rushing away and buying some. Or youre looking at your houseplants and s when you put em on your windowsill, and you say to yourself, how could i have thought that was a handsome plant . Im gonna have to do something about it. Yeah. Mean, this is the moment. They require more care, indoors, obviously, than they do outside. Yes. They do require a great deal of care, indoors. Uh, they can require some care living conditions. Right. Not too much heat, not all that open window at night right. In very cold climate. There was a is the plant pocket craze still going . It resurgence, a few years ago, i suppose because the environmentalists, and people wanna see green things, and growing, and i dont think its the environmentalists. Yeah . I think it was just people who wanted plants. Something growing around them. Uh, it may have crested, a little. But i dont think so. No, people want plants. They want them, tremendously. I bet you have plants, dont you . Yes, i do. Do you have plants in front of every window . No, i just have them sitting there. [ some laughter ] i mean, theyre not hanging. Theyre sitting. But theyre everything you say will be used against you. Im sure of it. [ some laugher ] whats a good plant, for a beginner . What ttoto start with . Indoors. A nice, tough plant . Yeah. Something that you can abuse. Oh well, i mean, that doesnt have to you can there was a philodendron, but i bet youre beyond that point. What do you have, as a plant . Do you know what it is . Uh, no. [ laughter ] i have a philodendron, yes. Can i may i may i ask you a question . Certainly. I have a lotta plants mmmhmm. And theyretheyre, like, in limbo. Theyre all healthy. Theyre why . Because they leave early . Huh . Do they all want to leave early . [ laughter ] [ applause ] no. No, but theyretheyrethe like, in 1970 and 1977 seriously theyre the same. They dont grow, very much. And, if i go to the east, to my friends apartments, the r the green seems much richer than mine. Well, do you ever give them any food . [ some laughter ] plant do you feed your plants . Yeah, i do a fish, uh that fish dab that fish and mulching. Thing you yeah, after which you have to put clothes peg on your nose. I know. But, i mean yeah, but there are other fertilizers. There are new kinds. Ii dont think youve sort of kept up with the times. Heres a kind you mix into the soil, that lasts for six months. We made that, last time you were on the show. Last time, on the show. I do all this, myself. I got 43 plants. Just that theyre in limbo is good enough for me, you know what i mean . I cant go around youre a bit of a complainer, arent you . Were gonna come back, and then youre gonna were you gonna show us show us something, tonight. Im going im going okay. Stay here. No, youre gonna stay [ chuckling ] and watch this. Well be right back. [ music ] [ applause ] now, even i know and youry youre helping me. These are ferns. And this one is not in very good shape, right . That is a fern. Is that too much fern, for the pot . Little fern, for the pot a fern in a cute misery. Indeed of anneed of intensive care. Uhhuh. Uh, i would call this your average neglected fern. I see. Okay. Now what is this, uh, thing here . Well, thats aa philodendron. Ah. I think its the kind called robert. They, i think, will be red. Mmmhmm. But what i thought we might certainly. Would be, if, by any chance, you were a plant as large as that mmmhmm. Its not awfully easy to handle, in the house. Right. I mean, you got a pretty big house, for that. And the thing is that you have, occasionally, to divide your plants. Divide your plants. Yes. Sometimes, you can, uh, get a new plant, by making aa cut. You remember we made yes. The last time. Mmmhmm. And, sometimes, you can get a new plant, by growing seed, and, sometimes, you can divide it. Now, you cant divide a plant that has only one stalk, like that. Without killing it. Right . Divide an apple tree. Okay. [ some laughter ] but you can divide a plant slight sort of junglee. This is too big, isnt it . I mean it is much too big. This is perfectly gigantic. You can divide an enormous plant, like that. So, tonight, were going to divide a fern. Tonight, were going to divide a boston fern. [ some laughter ] you folks call your neighbors. Were gonna divide a fern, here. [ some laughter ] now, youre supposed to have some equipment, before you divide plants. Yourself that its gonna do the plant good, in the end, to wreck it, for the moment. Mmmhmm. So, will you please start cutting it down, for me, while i get things ready . What, with these Little Things . No we shall be here all night. Youre givin me 30 minutes. [ some laughter ] cut it down. [ laughter ] [ applause ] whaddya mean . Just gget going. Not on me. Just like this . Yeah take it down to a hairbrush. Uh, wont that kill it . Ill cut it down. Ill cut it down. Ill cut it down. [ laughter ] [ humming ] [ some applause ] [ imitating Foreign Language ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] it helps, if you do it thataway. Ah oh, i see. Oh. Oh, uh, choppy planty. [ laughter ] right . Thats what you said you thats what you said you wanted. Okay. Okay. Okay. Mr. Carson has now done what we wanted. There you are. And, while he was doing it, i was getting [ laughter ] im just i was getting a pot ready. [ some applause ] i bought what i am doing is washing this pot. Because this is what youre going to have to put it into. We have three minutes, now. Okay. Oh, blimey. Is that all . Would you mind getting that out, for me . Certainly. How do i just pl no, turn it upsidedown. What . Turn it upsidedown. Turn it upsidedown. Well, sorta like that, yeah. Now, if youd cut me a section of that plant, i will have the pot ready for you, i trust, by the time youve cut through it. In other words, i can just, uh carve me out a piece of cake. Alrighty. Thats it. Good. Go on. [ some laughter ] go on. Let the let the nice people of this fern. Well, you know, hes done [ applause ] well, you said like a piece of cake. Thats what youve done absolutely the right thing. Thank you, very much. Now, just a minute. [ some laughter ] dont rush me. Would you like me to cut you another one . [ laughter ] not at this moment. I am getting the want you to get this ready, for me. Right. You want me to pour this in there. I want to not put lets see how well youve done, in your greenhouse training. Well, first, we have to put something in the bottom, for draining. Thats what youre putting in. Wonderful. bout an inch and a half . Not yes. Its quite enough, actually. Okay, and now, lets have some soil, in there. [ laughter ] all right, put some soil in there. Soil. Soil. This is the stuff we made, last time, right . This kind of a yeah, stuff youre getting it coming on. Okay, thats about half okay. Half full. Now, put your section in. Take my fern. Take your bit of fern. Put it right in, like that. Now, that wont do. You see why . Because i have too much in there. Yup. So, i take a little of that out. Shoulder, for good luck. Take some more o this, see how see how good im getting . Youre really doing very well. See how good im getting . Im a little messy, but, if you do this outside, in a greenhouse, it doesnt make any difference if youre messy. [ sighing ] w one minute. Now, wait, a minute. Why . Whats wrong . What youre doing is still i was waiting for you to see this, for yourself, johnny all right. But you see, it still too high. Ah. You still have a wrong pot. Youve gotta have oh, blimey [ laughter ] a smaller pot than tha well, why dont we just take this one out and take this, and put this in here . Because, then, you have all the pebbles at the wrong end. Ah. [ laughter ] well. Then, lets put it upsidedown. [ laughter ] [ applause ] cut me another piece. Another piece. [ music ] heres one, for the groom [ laughter ] [ applause ] well be right back. [ music ] [ applause ] keep an eye on that fern, and see how it does, now. Thank you. Thank you, thalassa. Its always so much fun having you on the show. And we learned something, too. I hope you come back with us, again. Id love to. Thank you. Teri, thank you, for being with us, tonight. [ music ] muchmuch luck, with Close Encounters. Thank you. Charles, you got all your hostility out, tonight, and, uh [ chuckling ] thank you. Good night. [ applause ] hitchcock no, thats not it. I am trying toat article. The only difficulty is, i cant remember what i lost. No, this isnt it. I dont know why i keep it. I dont think its any good anymore, its been used. This is for the man who has everything. Its to enable you to take some of it away from looking here why dont you look [music] hello. Hi. What are you thinking about . I wasnt thinking about anything, really i was just wondering how you could be be no, to everyone. You are just prejudiced. No one else ever thought i was as beautiful as you do. What were they using for eyes . Oh, why do we have to wait two more days . Why cant we be married tonight . Oh, darling, thats not too long to wait. Oh, its forever. Itll be in two more days and then then forever and forever. You know you, i close my eyes and i and i cant remember what you look like. I wonder why that is. I dont know. I think its because im afraid that afraid im going to lose you. I couldnt live if i did. Oh, darling, youll never lose me. Why shouldnt i . What did i probably im a punishment, not a reward. Youre some punishment. We shouldnt be parked here. Why not . We stopped to get something to eat, remember . Oh thats not very romantic. I cant help it, im the healthy type. All right, outdoor girl lets go get a hamburger. Well, arent you going to move the car . Well, theres a parking space over there by the hamburger stand. The cars all right here. Of course, if you are too lazy just to walk across the street all right. You see how easy i am to get along with . Come on. Lets go. Oh, darn it, i left my bag in the car. Oh, its safe there. Now whos being lazy . All right, you go ahead and order. I want a double hamburger, rare, in a hurry. No soul, youre completely dominated by stomach. [laughs] [tires screech] [screams] laura laura . [sobbing] laura no. Mister edwards. Lieutenant shea. I hate to have to keep questioning you at a time like this, but you understand its necessary. I i cant tell you anything. If you cant, no one can, you were the only one there. Your help. You do want us to find him, dont you . What do you think . Well, if you could just try to remember everything you saw. I didnt see anything you said before, you saw the license plate. Well, im not sure anymore. Do you think i was worried about remembering some license plate when laura was lying there it is on you. Just one or two more questions and ill call it a night. You say you dont remember the color of the car . The make . Look at me, son. License plate. No nothing. Okay, well call it a night. If anything should occur to you, get in touch with me at headquarters. Would you like one of my men to drive you home . No, im all right. Sure. Good night. Good night. [phone ringing] hello . Yes, this is miss edwards. Im sorry, i told you before, my son doesnt wish to speak to anyone. If youll give me your number and ill have him call that man just called again. Did he say what he wanted . No. Anybody. I know. Ive left you alone for a whole week. It isnt getting any better. How can it get any better . Thats right. And you got to learn to live with it, dear. The world doesnt stop because someone dies, dana. My world stopped. No, dear. And lying here, day after day, brooding about whoever was driving hes a murderer. Hes a that . Cant you imagine, wherever he is, what he must be feeling . Its not enough. Dana, i dont know how to say this to you, exactly. But, you are not special, dear. Youre no different from anyone else. Unhappiness and tragedy come to all of us sometime. Came to me when your father died. I know. I know. Why did this have to happen to us . [ringing] ill be back. When no one answered i just came in. Who are you . My name is john hurley. Youre youre the man whos been telephoning. Thats correct. I must talk to your son about the accident. The accident . Do you know anything about it . Who was driving the car . Ive got to talk to your son. Could you tell me . He doesnt want to see anyone. Im sorry your son. The accident . Accident . All i know is what i read in the newspapers. I lost my son in the same way, Mister Edwards. I know what you must be feeling. I appreciate your sympathies, but what do you want here . If i could have a few minutes ill make some coffee. Wont you sit down. Well, what is it . Youre young. Thats in our favor. Now look, i dont mean to be rude, or impatient but youd appreciate my getting to the point. Very well, i will. Now, we have something in common, we are both looking for a murderer. Well, not the same one, of course, but thats not important. I dont know what youre talking about. Im talking about the person who killed your fianc . I can help you find him. Are you a detective . No. No im not anything, really. I used to teach a long time ago. The accident, Mister Edwards . Nothing. Well, thats not possible. You saw it, and everything we see is recorded in the mind, whether we are conscious that its there, or not. What good does that do if i cant remember it . Oh, but you can remember it. You saw the license plate, didnt you . Im not sure. It said in the paper you saw it, but couldnt remember it. Im not sure. All week trying to remember and i i cant. Let me help you. How . Have you ever heard of total recall . Well, yes. Well, i can teach you how it works. I can make you remember anything that ever happened to you. If youll work with me, will be able to do it. Do what . Bring back the past, day by unimportant days, but eventually well get to the day of the accident. Youll relive it, moment by moment, right up to the second you saw the license plate and then youll remember it. And when you do, well catch a murderer. Why should my remembering it be so important to you . Does it matter what my reasons are . If i can do this for you, what difference does it ke just because your son was killed in the same way. What if it isnt . What if i have other motives . You want to find the man who killed your fianc . I can make that you heard your mothers voice calling. What does that got to do with the accident . I told you before, weve got to go back before we can go back. When are we going to get to the day of the accident . Soon, dana, soon. Why do you keep avoiding the day of the accident . You arent ready. You sure its that . Or is it just something youve worked out not to help me remember, but to make it impossible for me to. Do you believe that . I dont know what i believe. I dont know any more about you now then the day you walked in no, i i guess not. Then go lie down and well go on. All right, where do we start . Well, lets take a the day before the accident. No, i wont do it. I wont go back to that day. Why . Whats the matter . Id have to live it all over again. Yes, but then it wont be long before we get to the day of the accident. Oh, thats thats why i stopped. I just realized that if i want to know that number, die again. Of course. Hello, dana. Hello, Mister Hurley. Well, ready to go on . No, its no use, Mister Hurley. I im convinced that i didnt even see the license number. You mean youve convinced yourself. Possibly. Not possibly, thats what saw it. You know youll remember it if we keep on. Im not gonna do it. Will you please get out of here and leave me alone . I havent wasted all these days to bring you this far and then drop it. I tell you, i dont want to go on with it anymore. Well, thats because theres something blocking your memory. Something that hurts you to remember, some guilt. Guilt . Yes, and youve got to face up to it, then it wont be a block any longer. If thats all it is, i i dont need you. I dont need to remember it eventually without you. But, i want to be here when you do. But, why . Because i deserve to be you couldnt have done it without me. Dana, listen. Listen, dana, we must go on. You want to find the person who killed laura, dont you . Dont listen to him, dana, theres something wrong with him. I dont want to, mother, but hes right. I have to find him. Then youll go on . Good. Now, i think we are ready to try to remember the day of the all right, dana. Well go back slowly. Now, relax. Try to relax. Now start with sonic recall, if you can. Its easier. [humming] dont remember the name of it, though. It doesnt matter. Just go back and listen to it. Listen to the music. Th then i i kissed her, and i i just sat there for a while looking at her. She said, hello. And i said, hi. Hello. I wasnt thinking about anything, really i was just wondering how you could be be real, and still be so beautiful. Only to you, darling. No, to everyone. You are just prejudiced. No one else ever thought i was as beautiful as you do. What were they using for eyes . Married tonight . Oh, darling, thats not too long to wait. Oh, its forever. Itll be in two more days and then then forever and forever. Go on, dana. Go on. I i i cant remember. Try, dana, try. But sometimes when i close my eyes, i cant remember what you look like. Why is that . I dont know. I think its because im afraid that afraid im going to lose you. I couldnt live if i did. Oh, darling, youll never lose me. Why shouldnt i . What did i ever do to get you as a probably im a punishment, not a reward. Youre some punishment. [knocking] yes . Dana, mister shea is here. He said you sent for him. I sent for him. Ask him to wait, please, mrs. Edwards. I got a message, mister the license plate. What is this all about . I left you that message, inspector. You know, one day hurley, you are going to turn up once too often. Please, mister shea, give us a few minutes. Mister shea ju just a few more minutes, please. All right, ill give you 5 minutes. See you downstairs, hurley. Youre almost there, dana. Go on. Going to move the car . Move it . Where . Well, theres a parking space over there by the hamburger stand. The cars all right here. Of course, if you are too lazy just to walk across the street all right. You see how easy i am to get along with . Oh, darn it, i left my bag in the car. Oh, its safe there. Oh, i know, but i need my compact. Oh, i like you better shiny. Now whos being lazy . All right, you go ahead and order. I want a double hamburger, rare, in a hurry. No soul, youre completely dominated by stomach. [laughs] [tires screech] [screams] mister shea theres your murderer, mister shea. Theres the license number, remembered. Mister hurley was right about my mental block. I i was feeling guilty because i didnt go back to the car to get lauras compact. I was blaming myself for her death. I didnt want to remember, but Mister Hurley was right. He he made me remember. Will someone please tell me what hes got to do with it . He was determined to help me find lauras killer because well, because of his son. His son . Well, yes the one who was killed by the hit and run driver. I dont know what youre talking about. He hasnt got any son, he isnt even married. Hes a nut, thats all. He keep all the time. Hes just a nut [music] hitchcock i still cant remember what im looking for. If i had only partial recall, it would help. Of the trunk. I remember now, its a note i wrote myself. Remember to clean out trunk. I must remember to do that sometime. And, incidentally, heres something for you to remember while i am away for our story tonight taught us that once you have seen something, you never really forget it. There are times when that can be an ll shall be back next week with another story, and unless your license number happens to be k ty478, i shall see you then. Good night. [theme music] hitchcock good evening and thank you for allowing me to come into your parlor. It all happened so suddenly. I was someone saying, knit one, pearl one. And i came over to see what she was doing. The really frightening part is that i forgot my hunting license. Oh well, the show must go on even though i may not. Tonights entertainment is entitled the legacy. Through it, you will journey to palm beach and rub members of the international set. But before we join these useless playboys of a decaying society, let us heed the advice of a man who is earnest, productive and steadfast. A pillar of our civilization. And the sugar daddy of television. [music] palm beach. Where the sun spends the winter and people spend fortunes to be in it. And in the society columns. While walking out to the terrace of my hotel, i was wondering which into first. Cecilia smithson or col. Blair. I wasnt far from wrong. I bumped into both of them the same time. Oh, for heavens sake, Randy Burnside welcome to palm beach my dear cecilia, youre looking simply ravishing. [giggles] i had my face lifted. Its so painful when i smile, but you know skin stretches like rubber. Do you know col. Blair . Yes, of course, how are you col. . Burnside, glad to welcome you aboard. Do you have your boat with you col. . No, no. M a deck of card. [laughs] sit down, randall. Oh, im sorry. This is mr. Randall burnside, the famous english author. Irene cole. How do you do . How do you do, mr. Burnside . I warn you, irene, he is a very dangerous person. He pretends he comes to florida for the sunshine, but actually he is gathering material for his next book. Well im sure im safe. Mr. Burnside only writes sophisticated stories about fascinating people. Well im certain youre all safe this season because ive already chosen the subject for fascinating playboy, lover, sportsman. And does he look like a film star . Is he worth a million . Does he have a title . Is he going to drive in the sebring sports car races and is he due to arrive tonight . I have been following him from bombay to biarritz and let me tell you, he is even more fabulous than his reputation. Who is this wonderful person . Now irene, really, nobody can be this ignorant. Who else could it be but prince burhan . Burhan . Hes that prince from india, isnt he . The one who was to post in the rides two years ago. Yes, thats right. Madame, may i prepare your salad dressing . No, thank you. Irene, dear, would you . Id love to. Thank you. Please, dont get up. Irene makes the most delicious dressing. She your new secretary . Oh randy, dont be silly she is mrs. Howard cole. You mean the texas oil howard is it my turn . [laughing] 644661. I tell you, youre the best mixed doubles partner ive ever had. Well, well, look at beauty and the beast. Obviously, im the former. Randy, this is howard cole, irenes husband and ms. Donna dew, one of the bright young stars of hollywood. Randall burnside, the english author. How do you do, mr. Burnside . Oh mr. Burnside, id give my right arm if youd write me a script. A film about a girl with one arm . Sounds like a box office natural. [laughing] donna, youre on vacation. How did you make out dear . With donna on my side, how could we lose . This girl can do anything for my money. I think you ought to shower and change. No time for that now. Were going fishing. Hey, you ready . I dont know. The suns getting awfully strong and i promised my studio i wouldnt get a suntan. Oh, mr. Burnside i. Mmm. Irene, its poetry, sheer poetry. I have a wonderful new cream thatll protect your skin. Well, alright. And ill bring your vitamin pills too, dear. Good, but take these along with you dear. Alright. Well be at the landing. Alright. See you later. I tell you if your fishings as good as your tennis game, you could be. Have you ever seen anything more disgusting . You mean the way the husband carries on . No, the way irene tolerates it. Such angelic patience. Gives me indigestion. I must say its a bit nauseating, but what else could the poor woman do . After all, she knows shes a mousy little married all that money and shell hang onto it. Marry all that money . Really, randy, whats happened to your infallible nose . Why, irene is 10 times richer than howard. Shes even richer than me. She is ruggles bottle cap empire. Everytime anyone in america opens a bottle, irene makes money. Why does she put up with all this . Because, dreary as it sounds, shes in love with him. Isnt this too beautiful population of palm beach has put on the warpaint tonight. Theyre all waiting for prince burhan to appear and i can hardly wait to see which one will be the lucky reeler. Oh, i hope it isnt ms. Dew. Howard is having such a pleasant time with her. Darling, really, the way you talk id swear you were his mother, not his wife. I just cant convince cecelia that howard and i are very happy together. Most married men develop hobbies, some play golf, others collect stamps. Howard collects beautiful women. How original of him. I admit that during the first years of our marriage, i used to get upset. And then i realized his flirtations were harmless. I got over it. I give up. I think mrs. Cole has unusual wisdom for her age. Thank you, mr. Burnside. Hi you should be dancing, much better for your arthritis. Wow prince burhan. Im so glad to see you. Remember we danced in acapulco . In acapulco. Excuse me, i you. I had a slight suspicion i would find you here. The world is getting smaller every day, your highness. Will you honor us with your company . Well id hoped youd ask me. Prince burhan, cecilia smithson. How do you do . Col. Blair. How do you do . Our little import from hollywood, ms. Donna dew. Hello. Mr. Howard cole. Its a pleasure. And mrs. Cole. A chair for his highness. The chef has prepaa special dinner for your highness. Oh, well thank him for me, but i have had dinner on my plane. Well have some champagne, the same as my friends are having. Yes sir. I hope you win the races at sebring, your highness. Thank you. Did you ship your car ahead . No, it is due to arrive on my boat tomorrow. I flew here. Straight from. All by yourself . My copilot, my staff and two english mechanics. Oh. May i have this dance, mrs. Cole . You want to dance with me . If you will do me the honor. But i havent danced for years. Im a very poor dancer, your highness. This is just a rumba, madame. Not a contest. If you dont mind mr. Cole. Of course not. Donna, have a little exercise. His highness is in a gou mood tonight. Generous . You mean lavish, my pet. [laughing] do you like sailng . Not really. Im a nuisance on the boat. Do you play golf . No. Tennis . No. Do you ride the horses . Im afraid my activities are very limited and ordinary. I look after my husband and our knit. I read. But you do eat and walk and talk . Well, yes. Very well, we lunch tomorrow. After lunch, well have a walk and while we walk, well talk. Alright. But if you find something more exciting to do, ill understand. Well, there goes the daily bouquet. Five dozen red roses every morning. Irenes suite must look like a funeral parlor. The prince is carrying this joke too far. It stopped being a joke days ago. Oh . Oh really . Whats the. Whats the latest explanation . Were back at the mother complex. Oh ridiculous. No man dances every dance with his mother night after night. Well it certainly is the most bewildering romance. A young, rich, handsome prince captivated by a not so young, and extremely ordinary perhaps hes attracted to her. Oh, poppycock. Irenes a dear, but she couldnt attract a mosquito. Theyve achieved one thing anyway. Theyve made howard cole ridiculous. Hi, everybody. Oh hello. Uhoh. Have i interrupted something . Not all. We were just talking about your wife. Ooh, you mean the attention shes getting from the fabulous prince. Arent you worried . Worried . About what . Behind your back. [laughs] of course not. Irene and i are used to that. We also understand and trust each other completely. Excuse me. Donna is waiting at the tennis court. There they are. Make a fist must you always bring him into the conversation . Hes my husband. Believe me, if i didnt know it, i would never guess it. Obviously hes the only one in palm beach whos not aware of our relationship. Thats because hes the only one who understands it. Oh, i see. And what may i ask is his interpretation . Howard feels that youre fed up with your usual affairs, that youre looking for quiet, undemanding company. How dare he insult you. But it isnt an insult. Its the only logical explanation. I must say i was very grateful and relieved to hear it. Your unexpected attention rather unsettled me as im sure you noticed. Why should it unsettle you to know that a man is attracted to are too many mirrors around this place. I have no idea what you see when you look into a mirror. I can only tell you what i see when i look at you. You are attractive to me from the very first moment. Since then, i have had a chance to know you. And now every time i look at you, i see the most wonderful woman i have ever met. Please, burhan, have a heart. I do, a heart full of love and desire. I love you, irene. Oh burhan, stop it. Love me and i will make you the happiest woman in the world. Just think about it. From where i was sitting it looked like a lovers quarrel. Mr. Burnside, you must help me. Youre a writer and you know burhan. Understand him. It doesnt make sense. Im embarrassed to tell you but, he says that hes in love with me. Why should that embarrass you . Id hoped youd be honest with me mr. Burnside. Look at me. Im ordinary looking. Im over 30. Im not amusing. Im just not the type a prince would fall in love with. Let me ask you this. Do you get any pleasure out of being with him . Thats the disturbing part. I do. You see, my husband doesnt have much time to spend with me. Well then, if i were you i should simply enjoy the princes company. And let the devil take the hindmost. Thank you, mr. Burnside